Mare Wars

by MythrilMoth

Equisode IV: A Pony Hope

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Weapons fire blazed back and forth between the stockade runner and the Equirial Starbucker. Explosions rocked the smaller ship; the suited spacepegasi pulling the beleaguered little ship whinnied in alarm as burrolaser fire spat forth from the Equirial ship, striking them along their suited flanks, scorching holes in the protective material. The stockade runner lurched violently to starboard; the crew struggled to maintain their footing as they rushed about, attending to various circuitry fires.

Two battered droids had been thrown against a bulkhead by the latest blast. One, a squat, shiny gold-colored droid in the shape of a cute baby dragon with luminous pale green optics featuring slitted pupils, yelped in an electronically synthesized voice. "This is crazy!"

His companion, an even smaller, round-bodied blue and white droid that vaguely resembled a trash barrel with a toy robotic owl's head, righted itself on clawed feet and hooted softly.

A small herd of Rebel ponies stampeded past, knocking the tiny droids askew again. The owl-droid hooted indignantly; the dragon-droid moaned plaintively. "My Princess...how are you going to survive this?"

The burrolasers suddenly fell silent, and the crew waited nervously...

A cutting beam glowed white-hot, tracing a line through the sealed airlock blast door, which exploded inward, smoke billowing as several large ponies in full-body white armor galloped into the corridor. The Rebel officer on deck whinnied to his men, and bolts of blaster fire spat out to intercept the Equirial steedtroopers, whose training allowed them to dive behind obstacles in the narrow corridor and return fire with only slightly less chaotic results.

"Oh man, oh man...I knew we shouldn't have come this way!" the dragon-droid moaned, scrambling to avoid being hit by any stray shots. His companion hooted furiously and flopped over on its side as a near miss rocked its servos.

Just as suddenly as the firefight had erupted, the blasters fell silent. The corridor was filled with acrid smoke and the stench of scorched plastoid armor and pony flesh.

The loud, rasping hiss of a mechanical respirator announced the entrance of a large, imposing figure: a black-armored mare, covered head to tail to hoof in leather and metal. The glossy black steel of her horn and wings shone in the bright white light. The Pony Rebels exchanged nervous glances, whickering and whinnying in alarm at the appearance of the most fearsome being in the Equire: Nightmare Moon, the Empress' right front hoof herself. Her entire body was encased in a ribbed gray leather armor; her hooves were shod in glossy black boots, and a rounded helm covered her head. A steel mask covered her face, with a triangular grate at the end of her muzzle and dark blue lenses over her eyes. A crescent-shaped control panel adorned her chest, covered in buttons and blinking lights, with flowing Marebesh script along the edges. A flowing black chainmail cape extended from her collar to her rump, draping her entire form and trailing on the deck behind her as she walked.

In the midst of this new spectacle, nopony noticed as a shimmery blue-white aura surrounded the two squat droids, who were abruptly jerked into a side corridor, where they came face-to-face with a stunningly beautiful white unicorn in flowing white silk robes, whose long, luscious amethyst hair was styled into two tightly coiled braids on either side of her head, resembling cinnamon buns. Her long tail hung in coiled ringlets, just peeking out from beneath her robes.

The gold droid recovered first, staring in worry and reverence. "Princess! You gotta hide, it's—"

"I know, Spike-Threepio," the elegant white unicorn said softly and urgently. She opened a panel on the dragon-droid's forehead and quickly jammed a data disc into a slot before closing the panel again and gently kissing the little droid's forehead. Spike-Threepio's eyes glowed more brightly for a moment.

"You must hurry," the Princess whispered. "Owltoo-Detoo, please watch over my little Spikey-Wikey, okay?"

The owl droid hooted purposefully.

"Spike-Threepio."

Owltoo hooted again.

"The little gold dragon right next to you."

Owltoo hooted again.

"Oh, nevermind, just...into the escape pod before it's too late!"

The two droids hustled down the corridor as fast as their servomotors could carry them. Watching them go, Princess Rariteia Armorgana swallowed thickly and turned to survey the carnage just around the corner. Almost all of her loyal pony guards were dead or dying. Nightmare Moon strode amid the strewn bodies, masked face glancing around dispassionately.

A steedtrooper loped up to the Dark Lady. "The Death Spur plans are not in the mane computer. They're not in the tail computer either."

Nightmare Moon's head snapped sharply to the left and her horn began to glow an evil blood red. A matching aura wrapped itself around a Pony Rebel who lay slumped against the bulkhead; the ensnared pony was sharply dragged upright, pawing the air uselessly with his hooves as his neck started to twist in an alarming fashion. "WHERE ARE THE TRANSMISSIONS YOU INTERCEPTED?" Nightmare Moon bellowed, her booming voice causing the entire corridor to vibrate. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE STOLEN PLANS?"

"We...we didn't intercept any transmissions!" the Pony Rebel choked out. "We're just a consular ship! On a diplomatic mission! In a cave! Out of a box of scraps!"

Nightmare Moon was not convinced, and the Pony Rebel's panic and pain became even more pronounced. "IF THAT IS TRUE, THEN WHERE IS THE AMBASSADOR?"

A wet gurgle was her only response as the light of life faded from the captive rebel's eyes; with a snort of disgust, Nightmare Moon threw what was left of him against the bulkhead hard enough to make a dent. "COMMANDER! TEAR THE PASSENGERS APART UNTIL YOU HAVE FOUND THOSE PLANS. AND BRING ME THE SHIP, I WANT IT ALIVE!"

The steedtroopers all stared in confusion at their mistress. "YOU FOOLS! I HAVE ISSUED AN ORDER, AND YOU DO NOT OBEY? I—oh wait, I got it backwards, didn't I?—YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, NOW DO MY BIDDING!"

Saluting hastily, the steedtroopers scrambled to obey.

Rariteia nervously adjusted her hood and tried to trot silently away before—

"There she is! Stun her!"

With a searing jolt of electric pain, the princess slumped to the deck.

"Inform Lady Moon we have a prisoner," the steedtrooper commander ordered.

Nopony noticed the silent, unremarkable launch of an escape pod, which rocketed into the gravity well of the large planet below...

"There goes another one," an officer on the command deck of the Equirial Starbucker commented, watching as another escape pod launched from the Pony Rebel ship.

"No life scans aboard. Must've short-circuited."

"Shouldn't we shoot it down anyway? I mean, because we're evil and all?"

The captain turned to look at his lieutenant in disdain. "And exactly how is destroying an empty escape pod evil? Who does that torment? Who does that benefit? You still have a lot to learn about being evil."

"Sorry, Captain."

Two droids looked out at the ships rapidly shrinking from sight as their escape pod streaked away from the stockade runner.

"Wow, it doesn't really look as bad from out here," Spike-Threepio commented. "You'd think somepony didn't want to pony up the bits for a more damaged-looking filming model of the Princess' ship."

Owltoo hooted inquisitively.

"Yeah, I'm gonna break the fourth wall a lot."

Far below, on one of the many tall, crusty sand dunes that made up the surface of Trotooine, a lavender unicorn with a long, straight violet mane peered curiously up at the overly-bright sky, shading her eyes with one hoof while magically holding up filtered binoculars. "Looks like one hay of a battle went on up there..."

She replaced the binoculars in her saddlebag with a sigh. "I don't have time to worry about things like that...too many chores and too much studying to do..." Shaking her head, she picked her way carefully down the sand dune...then slipped on some loose sand and tumbled head-over-flank down to the dusty valley below.

"I'm okay!"

Princess Rariteia was in a foul mood. She had been fettered, ponyhandled, and her stylish glossy purple cinnamon-roll mane buns had stray hairs sticking out all OVER, she just KNEW it. It was this that let her show more indignation than trepidation as she was brought to a halt in front of the most vile, dangerous creature in the galaxy.

"Lady Luna—"

"I NO LONGER RESPOND TO THAT NAME AND I'm pretty sure nopony's even supposed to know about that until the sequel..."

"Well that may have been true thirty years ago but it is most certainly NOT the case now, what with the prequels and all—"

"WE ARE NOT DOING THE PREQUELS!" Nightmare Moon bellowed. "AND I AM MOST DEFINITELY PROBABLY NOT LUNAKIN SPARKLETROTTER..."

Rariteia raised an eyebrow. "NOW who's giving up spoilers in the first act of the first movie?" she asked archly.

"ENOUGH!! SINCE WE BOTH KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO FEIGN IGNORANCE ABOUT RECEIVING STOLEN TRANSMISSIONS—TAKE THIS TRAITOR AWAY!"

As Rariteia was marched away by steedtroopers, the officer at Nightmare Moon's side commented, "Holding her is dangerous. If word got out, it could generate sympathy for the Rebellion—"

"SHE IS MY ONLY LINK TO THE SECRET REBEL BASE!"

"And she'll die before she betrays the Rebels to you."

"LEAVE THAT TO ME."

A second Equirial officer joined them. "Lady Moon, we've searched the entire ship. There's no sign of the stolen plans. It does look like an empty escape pod was jettisoned..." The officer paused, then facehoofed. "And the plans are probably inside, aren't they."

"NO. REALLY. HOW OBSERVANT OF YOU." Nightmare Moon snorted. "SEND DOWN A DETACHMENT TO SEARCH FOR THE STOLEN PLANS. THERE WILL BE NOPONY TO STOP US THIS TIME."

"Has...there ever even BEEN anypony to stop us?" the commander wondered. "I mean, it's pretty much been the Empress' show for the last twenty years..."

"NOPONY ASKED YOUR OPINION. GO DO YOUR JOB."

"Yes, my Lady."

The escape pod containing the two Rebel droids landed with little fanfare less than ten meters from a large moisture vaporator. The surprised pony repairing the ungainly machine jumped in alarm. "What the...?"

The pod's hatch opened, and two droids stumbled woozily out. "Ohhhh, my head...oh great, is this a sand planet? I hate sand planets..."

Setting her tools aside, the lavender unicorn trotted over to the two droids. "Are you alright?" she asked. "What're two droids doing in an escape pod? Is there somepony else in there? Did you come from the Pony Rebel ship I just saw getting boarded?"

The owl-droid hooted sharply, dome spinning. The dragon-droid held up its stubby-clawed hands. "Please, Miss...Miss...?"

"Twilight. I'm Twilight Sparkletrotter."

"Miss Twilight, then," the dragon-droid continued. "I'm Spike-Threepio, pony-cyborg relations, and this is my counterpart, Owltoo-Detoo."

Owltoo hooted.

"You. You're Owltoo," Spike-Threepio replied.

Owltoo hooted again.

"Do you have an extra GOTO 10 line?" Spike-Threepio demanded hotly.

Twilight facehoofed with a groan. "Oh for...cut it out, you two!"

"Sorry," Spike-Threepio said. "Anyway, we have an important mission to attend to for Princess Rariteia of Alderaanch."

"Oooh, you're from Alderaanch? I've heard it's a nice system..."

"Yes, it's very nice, but more importantly, we have a mission for the Princess—"

"And you belong to a Princess too! Oh, you must be thrilled to be owned by a Princess..."

"Well, actually we belong to the captain of the stockade runner, but—"

"Oh, so you spend a lot of time in space?" Twilight interrupted again. "I've always wanted to go into space..."

"Will you PLEASE listen?!" Spike-Threepio cried. "We're in a big hurry here and it's really important we find—"

"And you're on a secret mission for a Rebel operative! That's so awesome..."

"Yeah we're outta here. C'mon Owltoo."

Owltoo hooted.

"Don't start that again."

"Wait, wait!" Twilight cried, holding a plaintive hoof out to the droids. "Maybe I can help. I mean, you need a native guide, right?"

Spike-Threepio tilted his head in thought. "Well...I suppose it would be convenient to have a guide take us to the spaceport instead of trying to cross the apparently endless desert and running into whatever sort of really bad thing droids run into here. We don't even know what planet we're on."

"Well, if you're looking for the bright center of the galaxy, this planet is the farthest from it," Twilight muttered.

"Miss Twilight? If we're going to work well together, actually providing information instead of disgruntled opinions would probably help."

"Uh...right, sorry," Twilight said sheepishly. "This is Trotooine. More specifically, the Cake farm. I live here with my Uncle Carrot and Aunt Cup."

"Trotooine...not an Equire system, then?"

"No, and that's about the only good thing you CAN say about this place."

"Wow. That bad, huh?" Spike-Threepio asked.

Twilight nodded.

"So...anywhere we can try to get information and passage off this litterbox?"

"Well, Moose Eisley is the nearest city with a spaceport, but...this isn't the kind of place two droids want to be caught running around alone, if you know what I mean."

Spike-Threepio sighed. "It figures."

"TWILIIIIGHT!" a male voice called from the low house in the center of the homestead. An unkempt, graying stallion loped up into the bright daylight. "How's it coming with the—oh hello, what have we here?"

"Hey Uncle Carrot!" Twilight called. "These two droids just lan—" she caught herself. "—just wandered in from the desert. It looks like they don't have owners and probably had a bad memory wipe. What do you think?"

Carrot frowned. "Well...I am tired of getting ripped off by those..." He tapped a hoof. "You droids unowned, you say?" He cast a wary eye at the escape pod standing right in the middle of his property.

Twilight surreptitiously motioned for Spike-Threepio to agree. The dragon-droid promptly launched into a spiel. "Indeed we are, my good sir! I am Spike-Threepio, pony-cyborg relations, and this is my counterp—"

"Yeah, whatever. Do you speak Zebra?"

"I'm a protocol droid. I'm fluent in many forms of communication, including Zebra."

"Binary?"

"I am a droid, sir."

"Raxacoricofallapatorian?"

Twilight facehoofed. "Uncle Carrot, do we even know any Raxacoricofallapatorians?"

Carrot chuckled. "Just having some fun. Alright...looks like we just scored ourselves some free droids. But if anypony comes lookin' for 'em..."

"Got it," Twilight replied.

"Good, now get those two cleaned up, then come inside for supper."

"I'm sorry, Miss Twilight, but I fail to see how being claimed as property on your farm helps us carry out our mission."

"Well, it gives you a safe place to stay until you can find what you're looking for and be on your way," Twilight offered as she diligently cleaned the two droids, who in only a few minutes on Trotooine had managed to gain a two-inch thick layer of crusty sand each.

"Good point..."

"So, what ARE you looking for?"

"We were tasked with delivering a message..." Spike-Threepio began, then trailed off. "Here, I'll just play it for you..." He popped the data disc from the reader slot in his own head and popped it into the similar one on Owltoo. The owl-droid's eyes lit up and began projecting a hologram of an ivory-colored unicorn with an oddly styled mane.

//Help me, Ali-Corn Celesti. You're my only hope. Help me, Ali-Corn Celesti. Help me, Ali-Corn Celesti. Help—//

"Uhh...looks like he can't handle the format. You know how it is with these iDroids." Spike-Threepio retrieved the disc and carefully slipped it back into his own reader.

"Ali-Corn Celesti..." Twilight trailed off. "Now why does that name sound familiar..." She paced for a moment, her violet mane and tail swishing. "I wonder if she means Sunny..."

Spike-Threepio hopped in place. "You know who she is?"

"Well, I don't know an Ali-Corn Celesti, but I do know old Sunny Celesti. She lives out in the wastes..."

"Twilight! Finish up with those droids and come up for supper, dear! And clean yourself up too, we're having company!" Aunt Cup's voice dopplered as she bustled about upstairs.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "We'll talk more after supper," she informed the droids.

"Thank you, Miss Twilight."

Twilight stared in flat disbelief at the guest who had joined them for dinner.

"Now, Twilight, dear. Don't be rude. You remember Sunny Celesti, right?"

"As a matter of fact, I was just talking about her with somepony," Twilight said dully.

"Oh, really?" the graceful, frail-looking mare across the dinner table said, sipping a glass of blue apple juice. Sunny was a fairly old mare; her flowing mane had once been a sweeping spray of vivid pastel colors, but the Trotooine suns had bleached those hues to a pale shadow of their former vibrance. She also tended to always wear a heavy old burlap cloak and blanket that covered everything but her head and hooves. "Nothing too unkind, I hope..."

"No, it's..." Twilight trailed off. "I met somepony today who's looking for somepony named Ali-Corn Celesti. I just thought—"

Everypony fell unnaturally silent, stiffening in their seats.

"I see," Sunny said.

"Master Celesti," Carrot said with a hint of warning.

"Oh, stop that, Carrot. You knew right from the start this was going to happen. It was just a matter of when."

Twilight looked back and forth between them. Cup Cake, for her part, was beginning to sniffle. The young unicorn's ears flattened. "Am I...missing something here?"

"Twilight, I'm Ali-Corn Celesti," Sunny replied with a tired smile. "But I haven't gone by that name in many, many years..."

The door chime sounded. Everypony looked at one another in surprise, frowning. "Now who could—?"

"STEEDTROOPERS! OPEN UP OR WE'LL BLAST OUR WAY IN!"

Cup paled. Carrot frowned. Sunny sighed. "I'll handle this."

"Sunny, I mean Ali-Corn...wait!" Twilight called. But it was too late; the old pony had trotted to the door and opened it.

"Anything I can help you with?" she asked sweetly.

"An escape pod landed in the middle of this farm. Two droids were inside it. Do you know anything about it?"

"There are no droids here," Sunny said, waving a hoof in front of the lead steedtrooper's face.

"There are no droids here," the trooper repeated dully.

"The escape pod had a dog turd in it and nothing else."

"The escape pod had a..." the steedtrooper trailed off. "Okay wait, lady. If you're gonna pull that old mind trick stuff on us, at least make it make sense."

Sunny laughed softly. "Sorry, just having a bit of fun. Okay then, how about this...the escape pod was stolen by scavengers while you were taking a leak, and none of you heard it because you were whistling the My Little Pony theme song."

"I can totally buy that," the steedtrooper replied.

"Okay then, that's what we're going with, right?"

"Right. Goodnight, then." The steedtroopers left, and a few seconds later, just as Sunny was closing the door, the family inside was treated to the amusing sound of Equirial soldiers whistling a cartoon theme song. Sunny turned brightly to them. "Well, then! I guess we all know what happens next."

"You take Twilight away from us, expose her to the truth we've carefully sheltered her from her entire life, completely shatter her world view, and drag her into the middle of some epic battle for the fate of the entire galaxy?" Carrot suggested.

"Actually, I was thinking about the blue cupcakes over on the counter, but yes, the rest of that after the cupcakes."

After dessert, Sunny went down to the garage with Twilight. "So these two droids were sent here to find me?"

Twilight nodded. "They have a message from a Princess, asking for your help."

"I see." The older mare looked over the two droids, then calmly said, "It certainly has been a long time, hasn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Spike-Threepio said. In a stage-whisper, he added, "We're not doing the prequels, remember? And even if we were, I'd have had my memory erased after Mustangfar!"

"Oh, right, sorry. One does forget." Sunny chuckled.

Twilight stared at the older pony and the little dragon-droid. "Everypony in this system is CRAZY," she moaned.

Spike-Threepio made a rude sound. "So, you ARE Ali-Corn Celesti, then?"

"That's right."

"Okay. I'll play back Princess Rariteia's message. I can't show you the hologram since Owltoo has the hologram system and the disc isn't formatted for him, so..." Clearing his throat, Spike-Threepio spoke in the lilting, regal voice of an elegant unicorn:

//General Celesti. My name is Rariteia, Princess of Alderaanch. Years ago, you served my father during the My Little Clony Wars. Now, he begs you to help him once again in his struggle against the Equire.

//I regret that I must contact you in such a disrespectful manner, but that awful, awful, simply AWFUL Nightmare Moon has just attacked and boarded my vessel, and I fear I will not be able to meet you in person. I have hidden the secret plans for the Equire's most terrible weapon in the memory systems of this adorable little droid. Please deliver this droid safely to my father on Alderaanch. He will know how to retrieve the data. This is, without a doubt, THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. THING. EVER!! Help me, Ali-Corn Celesti. You're my only hope.//

After Spike-Threepio fell silent, the others took a moment to digest all that.

"Pretty long-winded for a Pony Rebel Princess in immediate danger of capture or death, isn't she?" Twilight said.

Ali-Corn studied Twilight intently for a long moment. "You must learn the ways of the Horce if you are to accompany me to Alderaanch."

"The Horse?"

"No, the Horce. With a C. Like Force."

"Oh. Okay. So...what's the Horce?"

"The Horce is a powerful force, of course. It surrounds all living things...it's part of the very essence of the universe. It is what gave the Cuti Knights their power, long ago. Through the Horce, you will become the master of your surroundings, gain insight into the workings of the universe that others lack..."

Twilight frowned. "That sounds too complicated. Can't I just use unicorn magic instead?"

"Suit yourself..." Ali-Corn trailed off. "Oh, that reminds me..." One of her saddlebags opened, and a scroll floated out, landing in front of the younger pony. "This belonged to your mother."

"What is it?" Twilight asked, opening the scroll and studying it.

"It's a hornsaber spell," Ali-Corn replied. "The hornsaber was the spell of choice for the Cuti Knights. Far more accurate than a blaster at close range, and more dignified and elegant as well."

Twilight took a deep breath and concentrated. Her horn flared with purple light...that extruded into a long, tapered violet blade shape with a loud *snap-hiss*. She tossed her head slightly to and fro, listening to the deadly magical energy hum with power, before ending the spell. "So, you knew my mother? Uncle Carrot always told me she was a navigator on an alfalfa freighter..."

"Oh, no no no," Ali-Corn said. "Your mother was a powerful Cuti Knight, and my fiercest friend. She was like a sister to me."

"So...what happened to her?"

The older mare hesitated. "A very young and very foolish student of mine, Nightmare Moon, fell to the Dark Side of the Horce and...murdered your mother."

Twilight looked down, tears in her eyes. "I never even knew my mother..." she whispered.

"Come with me to Alderaanch, Twilight Sparkletrotter," Ali-Corn suggested gently. "The Rebellion desperately needs all the help they can get, and I'm getting too old for this sort of thing."

Twilight shook her head. "I...I don't think so. I mean, I've got studies, chores, I'm just not sure my aunt and uncle will—"

"Have a safe trip to Alderaanch, dear. Be careful out there." Aunt Cup hugged Twilight fiercely, sniffling. "It's cold up in space, so take extra blankets."

"Make sure we get our niece back in one piece," Carrot admonished Ali-Corn sternly.

"Of course."

"Well then, you'd best be off. You want to make Moose Eisley before midday."

With a last round of tearful hugs, Twilight Sparkletrotter turned and left her home, the only home she had known in her entire life—a home she was uncertain she would ever see again.

As the two mares and the two droids left the Cake farm, Twilight's nose wrinkled. "Does it smell like pee out here to you?"

In a conference room aboard the Death Spur, a heated argument was brewing.

"Until this battlestable is fully operational, we are vulnerable! The Pony Rebels are far more dangerous than you realize—"

"Dangerous to your starfleet, Commander, but NOT to this battlestable!"

"The Pony Rebellion will continue to gain support in the Equirial Senate as long as—"

The doors hissed open, and the arguing ponies fell silent as a thin, dour-faced old donkey trotted in, followed by the ominous (and noisy) presence of Nightmare Moon. The donkey settled in at his place at the table, smoothing down his ridiculously thick toupee before speaking. "The Equirial Senate is no longer of any concern. I've just received word that the Empress has dissolved the council permanently."

There were gasps. "And the Senators just went along with this?" the fleet admiral asked incredulously.

The donkey peered sternly at him, frowning. "Like I said, she DISSOLVED the council permanently."

A few rather ill reactions met this comment.

"But without the Senate, without the bureaucracy, how will Her Majesty maintain control—"

"Through the regional governors," the gruff donkey said. "Through direct control of the territories. Through fear. Fear of this space stable."

"And the Rebellion?" the admiral asked. "If, as we fear, they have obtained a technical readout of the Death Spur, they might find a weakness—"

"DO NOT CONCERN YOURSELF WITH THAT MATTER," Nightmare Moon thundered. "IT WILL SOON BE DEALT WITH."

The battle commander of the Death Spur snorted. "Let them try to attack. They will fail, and they will die. This stable is now the ultimate power in the ponyverse."

"DO NOT BE TOO PROUD OF THIS OVERSIZED METAL TOY, COMMANDER. THE POWER TO DESTROY A PLANET IS NOTHING WHEN COMPARED TO THE MIGHT OF THE HORCE."

"Oh, please," the stable commander scoffed. "Don't try to frighten us with your sorceror's ways, Lady Moon. Your sad devotion to...to that..." His eyes bulged as he began to gasp and choke for breath.

One of the aides rushed over and performed the Heimlich manuever on him. An apple core flew across the room, striking the dour donkey directly in the toupee.

"...much...better," the battle commander wheezed. Pausing for a breath, he continued his tirade: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn't helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or find the Pony Rebel base, or improved your cupcake recipe, or cured the Trots, or made it so you can breathe without that infernally loud and annoying mask..."

The stable commander's eyes bulged again as, with a terrible spray of blood and gore, the skin and flesh of his head peeled away from his skull, splattering on the floor and table.

"I FIND YOUR LACK OF FACE DISTURBING," Nightmare Moon informed the now very dead commander.

"Oh great, now I've got to get someone in here to mop up this mess," the donkey muttered.

"IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A REBEL SPY TO INTERROGATE." Nightmare Moon turned and swept out of the room, leaving several utterly terrified Equirial officers in her wake.

Princess Rariteia faced the cell door with defiance as it opened and several steedtroopers entered. Her face faltered, lip quivering and eyes watering, at the horrible sight of the torture droid that was rapidly filling the remaining empty space in her cell.

"AND NOW, PRINCESS RARITEIA," Nightmare Moon thundered from behind the droid, "WE WILL DISCUSS THE LOCATION OF YOUR HIDDEN REBEL BASE..."

A stiff-wire brush and a humming electric clipper head emerged from the droid, which advanced toward the young Princess like an oncoming storm. The cell door then closed, muffling her screams of anguish...

The suns blazed overhead as a purple hot-air balloon drew within sight of Moose Eisley. Twilight gently set the balloon down on a massive dune overlooking the sprawling city.

"Moose Eisley Spaceport," Sunny said softly from beside her. "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy..."

Twilight stared down into the wretched hive. Pretty pastel pink and yellow roofs that looked like frosted gingerbread, window trim that looked like candy canes, and lawn gnomes shaped like gumdrops stared back up at her.

"We must be cautious," Sunny said gravely as she trotted down the dune and into the city.

"She must be nuts," Twilight muttered in disbelief, following her.

Closer to, Moose Eisley was only slightly less cheery and peaceful than it had seemed from above. Desert mice were running wild all over the place. Some of them had wicked little knives; Twilight watched one tiny little mouse shout at a hulking Buffa, which toppled over dead, crushing its rider. Steedtroopers were roaming the streets in pairs, but every time a patrol came near their party, Sunny's horn glowed faintly and the Equirials veered away without seeming to notice them. "The Horce is a powerful ally," she said quietly to Twilight.

"So is a basic perception filter spell, which is what that was," the younger pony pointed out.

"...well, okay, YES. BUT! The Horce is STILL a powerful ally, as you will learn." Sunny gestured with her chin to a nearby bar with foamy pink and blue bubbles painted on the door. "We should find a pilot here that can get us to Alderaanch."

The two mares trotted through the door and into...

Twilight stared in horror. Sunny paled. "Er. Wrong bar." They slowly backed out, eyes wide and alarmed.

Inside, dozens of huge, well-endowed stallions wearing rather suggestive leather goods and huge, bushy mustaches had been...

But anyway, nevermind that. Two addresses over, they found the bar they were really looking for.

"Is this...is this really the bar we're looking for?" Twilight asked, staring around in wide-eyed shock and confusion. There were menacing-looking ponies in black suits and masks all over the place; there seemed to be a party in progress, as the band on stage was playing a lively, upbeat tune and the various stallions and mares at the most lively table surrounded an absolutely breathtaking, almond-coated pegasus with her glossy black mane pinned up with chopsticks and a beautiful silk kimono draped about her.

Sunny frowned. "I could've sworn this was—"

A blood-spattered mare in a sleek yellow track suit charged into the middle of this bar from seemingly nowhere, a katana clenched in her teeth, and a gory spectacle of mayhem, murder, and martial arts mastery erupted.

Twilight and Sunny VERY QUICKLY backed out of this bar, shuddering at the screams wafting from inside.

"Well this is certainly helping us get to Alderaanch," Spike-Threepio commented snarkily, claws on his hips.

"So you wanna go to Alderaanch?" a raspy voice asked from behind and slightly above. The party turned and looked up. A sky-blue pegasus with a wild, rainbow-colored mane, wearing a loose black vest and a wide belt with a holstered blaster, looked down at them.

"We're looking for passage, yes," Sunny said. "The two of us, plus our two droids here, and no questions asked."

"Ooooooh, so YOU'RE why there's so many steedtroopers runnin' around today, huh?" the pegasus asked, rolling over lazily on her back in midair. "If the Equire's involved, it's gonna cost you plenty."

"How does a thousand bits now and another fifteen hundred on arrival sound?" Sunny asked.

"Sounds like you just hired me," the pegasus said. "Name's Rain Bolo. Soon as you're ready to leave, meet me at Docking Bay Seven." With a jaunty wave, she flew off, a blurry streak of rainbow trailing behind her.

"Well, that was easy," Sunny commented.

"A little too easy, if you ask me," Spike-Threepio said.

"Nopony asked you. Now shush."

"HER RESISTANCE IS CONSIDERABLE. IT MAY BE SOME TIME BEFORE WE CAN EXTRACT ANY INFORMATION FROM HER."

Nightmare Moon and the dour donkey stood on the command deck. The donkey frowned, rubbing his chin with a hoof. "Then perhaps we should try another tack."

"SUCH AS?"

The donkey turned to address his officers. "Set course for Alderaanch. It's time to show these ponies what this space stable can do."

"HOW THE HAY DID THEY FIND US?" Twilight screeched. She and Sunny were galloping full-speed through the streets, droids on their backs, searching for the docking bay, steedtroopers hot on their hooves and raining blaster fire down on them.

The older mare's horn flared, and a shaft of pure white light extended, spinning wildly around to deflect blaster bolts. Without breaking stride or looking around, she pressed on with determination. Twilight could only stare in awe.

"This...would be...a lot easier...if I could still fly," Sunny muttered.

Twilight nearly broke stride at that. "Fly? What? You're a unicorn, not a—"

"Nevermind that now!" Steadily gaining ground as some of the less Equirial-minded citizens around them started subtly obstructing the troopers' path, the two mares found the dock, where an ancient freighter that looked like it had been slapped together, torn apart, and patched with parts from a dozen other ships several times over sat, Rain Bolo waiting impatiently by the loading ramp.

"Oh, there you are. You're in a big hurry," Rain said as she saw her fare approaching. Then she realized WHY they were in a hurry, and spat out a curse. "Hurry up, get on," she urged.

The party charged up the ramp, which Rain hastily closed. "Get us the hay outta here, Macky!" she bellowed.

"Eeeeyup," a deep voice belonging to a burly red stallion rumbled from the cockpit. The engines hummed to life.

"Can this old piece of junk really even fly?" Twilight asked dubiously as she stopped for breath.

"Piece of JUNK? I'll show you!" Rain said hotly. "Punch it, Macky!"

"Eeeyup!"

Without waiting for takeoff clearance, and without bothering with such niceties as taking off at speeds that didn't send everypony for a kilometer scrambling for cover, the freighter, roughly a flat disc shaped like a large silver apple with a bite taken from it, angled up and shot straight through Trotooine's atmosphere and into the black of space, alarming the Equirial patrols in orbit.

Rain grinned. "Sit back, relax, and leave the flying to us. Welcome aboard the Millennium Rainboom."

"Well, you'd best be ready to rainboom those interceptors," Sunny remarked. In the cockpit, the proximity alarm went off even as the ship rocked from laser fire.

"Oh, you little punks do NOT shoot at MY ship!" Rain growled, charging into the cockpit and taking her place at the helm. The ship suddenly lurched sharply to the right, then veered off at a crazy angle. The two passengers were thrown roughly around the cabin, and the droids raised a din as they rattled around like dustbins. "Macky, get to work on the happyspace jump while I keep these jokers busy."

"Eeyup."

"I think we'd best strap in," Sunny suggested. Twilight nodded dumbly, eyes spinning.

The next few minutes were the most intense experience of Twilight Sparkletrotter's life. It occurred to her that Rain Bolo must indeed be incredibly skilled, and her ship far less a piece of junk than it appeared, but it also occurred to her that the brash pegasus was completely reckless and insane. Explosions danced scant meters from the skin of the ship, but no impacts were felt; occasionally Rain made a manuever that tricked the Equirial fighters into blasting each other, resulting in one spectacular fireball as an interceptor was destroyed by friendly fire. All the while, the Millennium Rainboom darted back and forth so crazily that the passengers were repeatedly thrown sharply into their harnesses.

Then, Rain gave a triumphant cry from her chair, and Twilight dared to look directly forward at the main viewport. The stars were replaced by brilliant streaks of multihued light, extruding away into the distance and forming what looked for all the ponyverse like a big rainbow tunnel in space.

And then the Millennium Rainboom was in happyspace.

Alderaanch was little more than a blue-green blotch on the main monitors as the Death Spur approached the peaceful pony planet. The doors to the bridge hissed open, and the donkey observing the approach turned, raising an eyebrow at the spectacle that had just trotted in.

Princess Rariteia was in far more ragged condition than when she had first been brought aboard. She was still fettered, and her defiant gaze had become more sullen than furious.

Her mane had been absolutely destroyed.

When she was first brought aboard, her long, deep purple tresses were expertly braided and rolled into tight, perfect buns on the sides of her head. Now, the buns had been completely undone, and the flowing hair had been butchered into clumps of uneven lengths. Split ends abounded. In one area, a few uneven lengths had been styled into frizzy dreadlocks. In another area, a shorter section had been tightly wound around an ornamental lacquered horseshoe. Still another section had been shaven bare; one of the longest remaining locks had been pulled to its full length, frozen in place with probably every ounce of hair gel in the entire Equire, and painted neon lime green.

And lastly, to add insult to injury, a live chicken had somehow become entangled in her tail.

Still, her stare remained fierce and defiant, her spirit apparently unbroken in the face of this...indignity.

"Crank Mule Donkin," Rariteia spat venomously. "I should have expected to find you holding Lady Moon's reins. I thought that foul stench meant it was bean soup day in the cafeteria, but now..."

The governor's right eye and left ear twitched. "That. Is. NOT. My. NAME. You. LITTLE. BRAT!"

"That isn't your hair either, unless some sort of furry rodent mated with your head."

The donkey started to retort, then shook his head with a gruff snort. "Enough of this. I did not summon you here to exchange ridiculous insults. I just thought, before your execution, you might be my guest of honor at a litle ceremony. One that will make known to the entire galaxy the power of this battlestable."

Rariteia lifted her chin in defiance. "If you think for one second that the decent ponies of the galaxy will be afraid of this little toy..." She trailed off, then smirked. "But then, nopony has EVER been afraid of your little toy, have they?"

Grand Mule Crankin ground his teeth furiously. "You know, Princess, I was going to offer you a chance to surrender the location of the Pony Rebel base and spare your own home planet, but now?" He turned and addressed the officers at the control monitors. "Fire when ready."

Rariteia gasped. "What—? No—!"

"IT IS TOO LATE," Nightmare Moon rumbled. "YOUR WORLD IS DOOMED."

The unicorn princess watched in growing horror as all around the command deck, banks of indicators lit up, klaxons sounded, and officers pulled levers and flipped switches. Each of the sharp "points" of the Death Spur lit up with a brilliant column of green light, which crackled with plasma as they streaked from the tips to the center of the stable. A final loud chime sounded, and a powerful beam erupted forth from the battlestable. The beam struck the peaceful, defenseless little planet on the viewscreen...

Alderaanch JUMPED, as would a pony suddenly jabbed in the sides with sharp spurs, and broke its orbit, rocketing off haphazardly into the galaxy.

All present on the bridge stared.

"...CRANKIN."

"Y-yes, Lady Moon?"

"WAS...THAT...SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?"

Crankin swallowed thickly. "Uh...n-no, my Lady. It was supposed to, y'know, blow up."

Rariteia just stared, slack-jawed. A weird mix of horror, confusion, and hilarity flooded her mind.

"Ah...Lady Moon?" one of the bridge officers spoke up hesitantly.

"YES? SPEAK IF YOU DARE."

"Um...it's just...this might actually be better than the planet exploding."

"HOW," Nightmare Moon roared venomously, picking the hapless officer up with the Horce and shaking him like a rag doll, "IS AN ABSOLUTE JOKE LIKE THE ONE WE JUST WITNESSED A GOOD THING?"

"Ah, well," the officer said nervously, "everypony on Alderaanch is still gonna die without a sun, and now we've got a rogue planet flying around out there like an out of control bowling ball. Just—just think what kind of chaos that'll cause."

Nightmare Moon did think of what kind of chaos that would cause.

So did everypony else on the bridge.

And Nightmare Moon...laughed.

Twilight watched the little floating seeker ball warily, trying to anticipate which direction its bolt would come from. She quickly parried two shots, then leaped into the air and somersaulted into the seeker, bisecting it.

"Nicely done," Sunny commented. "Nice...nicely...oh. Oh..."

"What's wrong?" the younger mare asked, trotting over to examine her new mentor with concern.

"I...I'm not sure," Sunny said. "For a moment...it felt like millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror...and are now simply confused. And yet, danger looms in the Horce...I fear something terrible has happened."

Twilight observed her with a troubled look, and was about to start practicing the hornsaber spell again when Rain entered the room.

"That's it, we should be clear all the way to Alderaanch," she said. "So, whatcha think? Am I good? Huh?"

"You are...a somewhat talented flyer," Sunny admitted, though her voice was somewhat distracted. "I have seen better. Not many." She smiled suddenly, a bit of the warmth and life seeming to return to her eyes. "Seven, eight thousand at most."

Twilight laughed, while the blue pegasus snorted and kicked back lazily on a fluffy little cloud. "Yeah well, I don't expect a unicorn to know nothin' about good flyin'," Rain said sulkily.

Suddenly, Twilight remembered something, and turned to face the older mare. "Sunny," she said, "back on Trotooine, when we were running from the steedtroopers...you said something that I wanted to ask you about." She loped around to face her mentor squarely. "You said it would be easier if you could still fly. Would...would you mind explaining that?"

Rain leaned forward with interest. "Huh? A flying unicorn? How the hay...?"

Sunny sighed tiredly, smiling sadly. "Twilight," she began, "help me with my cloak and blankets, if you would please..."

With the younger unicorn's help, Sunny removed her heavy cloak and threadbare old blankets, and Twilight and Rain both stared in wide-eyed, shocked disbelief.

Twilight had known there had to be something special about a unicorn with such a long, grand horn and such a beautiful, vibrant mane.

Now she saw that her mentor and former Cuti Knight was no unicorn at all.

Ali-Corn Celesti sighed heavily as she extended one full, broad, feathery wing above her left flank, sweeping the feathers past the bright golden sun mark emblazoned there.

On her right, however, was a ruined, mangled mess of a wing, most of which had been amputated and stapled down a very long time ago.

Rain gasped in horror as she beheld the ruined wing. "How—how did THAT happen?!" she squeaked.

"More importantly," Twilight asked, voice full of wonder and awe, "you're a...but no, it's impossible, the only one in the entire ponyverse is a cyborg, so hers aren't even real..."

"Oh, hers WERE real," Ali-Corn said as she preened the feathers on her good wing. "The ones she has now are mechanical, yes, but long ago, she and I were both very much..." Tears filled her eyes and she sniffled. "But that is in the past. It doesn't matter."

"What're you two talkin' about?" Rain asked, head tilted in confusion.

"Ali-Corn Celesti...actually IS an alicorn," Twilight explained. At Rain's blank look, she blew upward at her own bangs. "You know, a pony who's both a pegasus and a unicorn?"

"Oh." Rain paused. "I didn't know there were any ponies like that."

"It's because there aren't," Ali-Corn replied. "At least, there aren't supposed to be. And after what happened to the only two of us in the entire ponyverse, I learned why we can't be." She looked up at the younger mares with sad, pain-filled eyes.

"You see, I have a sister. You know her as Nightmare Moon."

The younger ponies gasped.

"And when last we saw one another, many years ago, I deprived her of far more than the one wing I lost to her blade."

"Sunny..." Twilight breathed. "I..."

"But that story can wait, because I believe we're about to approach Alderaanch," Ali-Corn said primly, folding her good wing against her body once again and donning her blankets and cloak.

"Actually, we're still about what, three hours away?"

"Eeyup," Rain's co-pilot said as he nudged at a control stud on a gameboard which sat between him and Owltoo. The owl-droid hooted thoughtfully before making a countermove. Bigmacca snorted. "Good move."

Twilight blinked. "He actually TALKS?"

"Eeyup," Bigmacca replied.

Rain snickered.

Suddenly, the proximity alarms blared, and the ship shuddered violently. "What the—?!" Rain yelped. She dashed to the cockpit, Bigmacca hot on her hooves, and started checking various scopes and navigational readouts.

The Rainboom immediately dropped out of happyspace, and the occupants were alarmed to see a blue-green planet rushing up at them fast...

...and then zooming past them.

Twilight frowned. "Rain...were your happyspace calculations off?"

"No chance," Rain replied, rechecking her instrumentation. "We're still on course for Alderaanch..." She frowned. "Except...that WAS Alderaanch."

"Yes, it was," Sunny said, frowning. Her gaze was fixed intently in the direction of the rogue planet which just buzzed them. "But we're not in the Alderaanch system yet, and...it's...."

"Moving," Rain and Twilight finished.

"How can a planet be moving?!" Rain asked.

"Planets ALWAYS move, Rain," Twilight explained. "It's just—"

"I KNOW THAT!" Rain cut across her. "I mean what the hay is a planet doin' moving outside of its orbit? Macky, you got a track on that planet?"

"Eeyup," Bigmacca replied, punching up a course chart on a monitor. The chart showed Alderaanch flying away from its system and out into space, in almost the direction they had just come from.

"It's really haulin' ass," Rain observed, impressed.

"That explains the strange disturbance I felt in the Horce," Sunny said.

"It's almost like something kicked Alderaanch out of orbit," Twilight mused. "But that's...that's impossible, right?"

The group sat in silence for some time, the Millennium Rainboom stopped dead in space.

"So...what do we do now?" Twilight asked. "Do...do we follow Alderaanch?"

"I don't think so," Sunny said. "I think we need to keep going to the Alderaanch system. Whatever happened to Alderaanch, we'll find the answer there."

"But what about everypony on Alderaanch?" Twilight asked.

"There's nothing we can do for them, not at the moment anyway," Sunny said. "And I know this sounds cold, but...for the moment, they're in no real danger."

"No real DANGER?" Rain exclaimed.

"It'll take a while before losing their sun affects life," Sunny explained. "They should be able to construct geothermal safe-shelters to hold out against the loss of sunlight, and there are no small number of systems that will attempt relief. So for now, our concern needs to be finding out what CAUSED that."

"...I'm so gonna regret takin' this fare."

"Eeyup."

Sighing, Rain returned to the cockpit and reinput the course for the Alderaanch system. Twilight continued practicing the hornsaber spell; Bigmacca and Owltoo continued their game. Meanwhile, Ali-Corn went into deep meditation.

They had just arrived at the Alderaanch system when Ali-Corn suddenly gave an alarmed snort. Twilight halted her practice. "Sunny?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

"A presence," the older mare said. "One I have not felt in quite some time..."

The proximity alarm sounded again. "BUFFA CHIPS, WHAT NEXT?!" Rain cried in exasperation.

A short-range interceptor flitted past the Rainboom. Ali-Corn frowned. "Now wherever could that have come from?"

"Probably from that spur-shaped space stable up ahead," Twilight pointed out.

The ponies and droids looked at the structure looming large before the ship.

"I've got a VERY bad feeling about this," Rain said.

The Rainboom shuddered. "What was that?" Twilight asked, alarmed.

"We're caught in a tractor team!" Rain replied, furiously fighting the control board. Outside, suited spaceponies had attached a dozen space oxen to the ship, and the oxen were dragging it close to the ominous-looking space stable.

"Can we break loose?" Twilight asked.

"I don't think so," Rain said, grimacing. "They've locked burrolasers and we're flanked by fighters. Can't jump to happyspace either, the tractor team's too strong...like it or not, we're goin' in."

The party watched, a feeling of doom settling over them, as the space stable loomed larger and larger...

The Millennium Rainboom was towed into an expansive docking bay, where it was quickly surrounded by a legion of steedtroopers, blasters at the ready. A deck officer marched down from the control booth and began issuing orders; the troopers forced the landing ramp of the freighter open and lined up to board the ship.

After nearly thirty minutes, the last troopers emerged from the Rainboom. "The ship is deserted," one troop reported to the deck officer. "The crew must've abandoned ship after launch, set it on remote—"

"Ohhhhh no, we're not falling for the same trick twice in one movie," the officer replied. "They already pulled that stunt with the droids in the escape pod back on Trotooine. This ship isn't empty."

"But sir, we searched every—"

"Do you want to tell Lady Moon that?"

The trooper gulped. "No sir," he replied. "We'll search again."

Aboard the Rainboom, the ponies and droids were huddled in a concealed hold hidden beneath a deck panel. "Something's wrong," Twilight whispered. "They're not leaving."

"They're smarter than I gave them credit for," Rain replied. "Any ideas?"

"Patience," Sunny advised.

Rain rolled her eyes. "Swell."

Overhead, they could hear the heavy thudding of armored hooves as the steedtroopers searched the ship. The deck plate covering their hiding place shuddered noisily. "I have an idea," Twilight whispered suddenly. "Next time they pass right over us, let's buck the plate as hard as we can."

"So they'll be confused, and we can take 'em down before they know what hit 'em!" Rain said enthusiastically. "Nice thinking!"

They waited quietly for several tense moments. The plate vibrated again as the troopers passed overhead. "NOW!" Twilight shouted. She, Rain, Bigmacca, and Sunny reared up and kicked the plate hard with their hind legs. The troopers above whinnied in alarm as the floor was abruptly thrown out from under them and they were tossed into the bulkheads.

Several minutes later, two steedtroopers emerged from the ship, a huge, fettered red stallion between them and two droids behind them. The deck officer raised an eyebrow. "So, you did find them after all," he remarked. He trotted up to the captive pony, twitching an ear. "Take this scum down to the prison level—"

He was cut off as suddenly he was lifted off his hooves and thrown across the bay. The remaining troopers on deck snapped to attention, blasters at the ready, but the intruders quickly got the upper hand: the two impostors took out several troopers with their stolen blasters, while the rest were thrown about telekinetically, knocked against bulkheads and each other until they fell unconscious.

"Quickly, let's secure the control room," Sunny whispered as she cantered down the ramp and joined the party. "We can make our escape plan once we're safe behind a blast door."

It took less than five minutes to barge into the control room, subdue the officer on watch, and lock down the blast doors. Twilight and Rain took off their stolen helmets, while Sunny unchained Bigmacca. Owltoo rolled over to the computer access terminal and plugged in. A moment later, he began hooting rapidly. "Owltoo says the ship has been secured with a magnetic mooring field, and the bay itself is sealed by a magnetic force shield," Spike-Threepio reported. "There are three power terminals; if you shut down one of them, the magnetic fields lose power and we can escape."

"I'll handle the power terminal," Sunny said. "You three wait here with the droids."

"Shouldn't I come with you?" Twilight asked. "It could be dangerous—"

"It's best if I handle this alone," Sunny said. "I sense a presence on this stable...one I have not felt for some time..."

"Nightmare Moon is here, isn't she," Twilight stated flatly.

The old Cuti Knight sighed. "Yes. Yes she is." Shaking her head, she trotted over to the door. "Stay safe," she advised before leaving.

As the door closed behind Sunny, Rain leaned against a control console. "Some friend you got there," she said. "She's completely insane. You know that, right?"

"She's not insane!" Twilight retorted hotly. "She's a great warrior, and very wise—"

She was interrupted by an excited shout from Spike-Threepio. "She's here! She's here!"

"Who's here?" Twilight asked.

"The Princess! Owltoo says she's..." The dragon-droid trailed off, slumping. "She's in the detention level," he said quietly. "They're gonna kill her."

Twilight reared up in alarm. "We've gotta rescue her!" she declared.

"Are you NUTS?!" Rain asked. "We're in the middle of an Equirial battlestable, with thousands of steedtroopers swarming all over the place, we can't even get OURSELVES outta this mess, and you wanna try to pull off a jailbreak?!"

"Yes," Twilight replied.

"We've gotta save her!" Spike-Threepio wailed. "We've just gotta!"

Rain rolled her eyes. "I suppose you're gonna vote for playing hero too?" she asked her co-pilot.

"Eeyup," Bigmacca replied.

Rain sighed, blowing on her rainbow bangs in frustration. "Alright. FINE. We'll save the stupid Princess." She glanced over at Twilight, twitching her tail. "So, what's your big plan?"

"Uhh...gimme a minute, I'm working on it," the farmpony said.

"Put those helmets back on, chain me up, and pretend you're transferring a prisoner," Bigmacca suddenly spoke up.

Twilight blinked. "That's...a pretty good plan."

"Yeah, that could work," Rain said. "Let's see, where're the binders..."

Several minutes later, Bigmacca was fettered and the two mares had replaced their stolen helmets. "I hope this works," Rain muttered.

"What about us? What if they find us here?" Spike-Threepio asked.

"Lock the door," Twilight suggested.

"And pray they don't have blasters," Rain added.

Owltoo hooted dubiously.

"The steedtroopers. The ones trying to kill us all?"

"Nevermind that, just...hurry!" Spike-Threepio urged.

Owltoo hooted again. Spike-Threepio kicked him over onto his side.

The pair of imposter steedtroopers and their "prisoner" drew curious glances as they descended to the detention level, but nopony seemed interested in stopping them. "How does anypony see anything out of these helmets?" Twilight wondered.

"You don't have your display cams on, idiot," Rain replied.

"...oh. ....Okay, yeah, that's better."

The lift tube they had entered brought them to a security station full of guards and laser gates. "This isn't gonna work," Rain muttered.

"It'll work," Twilight replied. "It has to."

Suddenly, an officer loped up to them. "Where are you taking this...thing?" he asked.

Bigmacca snorted. "Ah'm not a 'thing', Ah'm a stallion. An' at least Ah'm a pony."

"Sh-shut it, you—!" the officer—a goat—replied testily.

Rain jabbed Bigmacca in the flank with her stolen blaster. "Sorry, sir. Prisoner transfer from block 1138."

"I wasn't notified," the goat said. "I'll have to clear it—"

The officer and the guards suddenly found themselves thrown into the laser gates, which sparked and hissed loudly. They fell to the deck, stunned and smoking. Rain stared.

"Clear THAT," Twilight said, cantering over to the security console. "Now, where's the princess—"

"You're as crazy as that old mare," Rain said wonderingly.

"Eeyup," Bigmacca agreed.

"Found her," Twilight said, ignoring the commentary. "Let's move." She took off down a corridor at full gallop. Rain unlocked Bigmacca's shackles, and the two followed in her wake.

Rariteia looked up as the door opened. A steedtrooper stood in the doorway—except this one seemed a bit on the small side. The trooper stood staring at her for far too long a moment for the princess' liking. "Aren't you a little short to be a steedtrooper?" she asked archly.

"Huh? Oh, the uniform," the other pony replied somewhat stupidly. She removed her helmet, revealing a young lavender unicorn mare. "I'm Twilight Sparkletrotter, I'm here to rescue you."

"You're who?"

"Twilight Sparkletrotter. I'm here with Ali-Corn Celesti—"

"Well why didn't you say so?" Rariteia demanded, rising to her hooves and trotting to the cell door. "Where is she?"

"I'll take you to her," Twilight replied. "Come on, let's—"

A blaster bolt exploded in the corridor.

"Twi, I think they know we're here!" Rain yelled, flying at speed down the hall and returning fire.

"Oh no!" Twilight moaned, prancing in place. "We've gotta go!"

Rariteia squawked indignantly as she suddenly found herself caught up in Twilight's magic aura and dragged unceremoniously out into the corridor behind the other unicorn, who was already at a near-full gallop. "REALLY!" Rariteia cried, folding her hooves and pouting.

Nightmare Moon paced restlessly in the small conference room near the command bridge. Her respirator hissed noisily as she pawed at the deck in frustration.

"SHE IS HERE," the Dark Lady suddenly said, rearing up on her hind legs and spreading her wings. "ALI-CORN CELESTI IS ABOARD THIS STABLE."

"What makes you so certain?" Crankin asked.

"A TREMOR IN THE HORCE," the Dark Lady replied. "A PRESENCE I HAVE NOT FELT SINCE..."

"But surely she must be dead by now?"

"DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE HORCE."

"The Cuti are extinct," Crankin pointed out. "Their fire is gone from the ponyverse. You're the last—"

He was interrupted by the buzz of a commlink.

//Governor Crankin, emergency alert in detention block AA-23!//

Crankin's ears twitched. "The Princess! Put all sections on alert!"

"ALI-CORN IS HERE," Nightmare Moon thundered. "THE HORCE IS WITH HER."

"If you're right, she mustn't be allowed to escape—"

"ESCAPE IS NOT HER PLAN. I MUST FACE HER ALONE." With that, the Dark Lady stormed out of the conference room.

Four ponies charged full-tilt down corridor after corridor, trying desperately to evade the pursuing, trigger-happy steedtroopers. "This is, without a doubt, the WORST! RESCUE! EVER!" Rariteia complained.

"Well, I'm SO sorry this is SO much worse than you rotting in a cell until they make glue out of you!" Rain retorted hotly.

"Girls!" Twilight called. "Quiet down, we need to—" A blaster bolt singed a few hairs of her tail, and she growled. "OKAY, THAT DOES IT!" She spun around and cast the hornsaber spell, repelling blaster bolts with expert swings. Troopers began to fall to their own fire.

Rarieta's mouth dropped open. "How in the—"

A scroll floated towards her, supported by a violet magical hue. "Take it!" Twilight ordered, voice strained. "Use it and help me out here!"

"I—I don't know if I can—"

More blaster bolts rained upon them from the other end of the corridor. They were trapped.

"We're trapped!" Rain cried.

"I have an idea," Rariteia said suddenly, snatching Rain's blaster and blowing open a grate in the corridor wall near Twilight. "Quick, everypony in there!"

The ponies ducked into the opening the princess had made and quickly found themselves flank-deep in foul-smelling, filthy water full of various refuse, waste materials, and other things best left unidentified.

"Ugh!" Rain complained. "Wonderful idea, Princess. What an incredible smell you've discovered!" She snatched her blaster back from Rariteia and advanced on the large hatch at one end of the garbage room. "C'mon, let's—"

"WAIT!" Twilight cried. "Don't—"

Rain fired at the hatch; the blaster bolt ricocheted wildly around the room, forcing the ponies to duck into the foul sludge.

"It's rayshielded," Twilight finished lamely.

"Well you coulda told me that in the first place!"

"I was trying to!"

Suddenly, something in the depths of the garbage swamp let out a terrible, bloodcurdling groan.

"There's something alive in here!" Twilight exclaimed.

"No way, it's your imagination—"

Twilight was pulled under by her imagination.

"TWILIGHT!" Rain raised her blaster, trying to figure out where to shoot...

Suddenly, a muted snap-hiss sounded, and the muck began to turn to steam. A horrific screech rent the air; a moment later, Twilight emerged from the filthy sludge, extinguishing her hornsaber and looking decidedly displeased. "Like I said, something WAS alive in here."

"Well, at least it can't possibly get any worse," Rain said.

The walls started to rumble.

"You were saying?" Twilight asked archly.

The commlink Spike-Threepio had left on the computer console buzzed urgently, Twilight's voice calling out faintly. The two droids, however, were nowhere to be seen...

The door suddenly exploded, and a squad of steedtroopers burst through. "Secure the office! See to the wounded!"

A trooper opened a rattling supply closet, and two droids stumbled out. "They're crazy!" Spike-Threepio ranted. "They busted up the office then stormed the detention level! You gotta stop 'em!"

"Alright, you ponies, with me," the lead trooper said, gesturing with his blaster. "You there, stand guard here."

One trooper remained; Spike-Threepio stealthily retrieved the commlink from the console. The trooper nearly caught him, but Owltoo covered his actions by hooting wildly and spinning on his clawed legs.

"Oh! All the excitement has overloaded my companion's circuits!" Spike-Threepio exclaimed.

Owltoo hooted.

"You."

Owltoo hooted again.

"I already said you!"

The owl-droid hooted once more.

"See what I mean?" Spike-Threepio asked tiredly. "Let me take him down to maintenance, alright?"

The trooper nodded, gesturing to the door with his blaster. "Go ahead."

"This. Is. Without. A. Doubt. THE. WORST. RESCUE. EVER!!" Rariteia complained as the garbage mashers closed in. The other ponies were busy trying to find something—anything—to use to jam the mashers.

"Spike! Come in, Spike!" Twilight called into her commlink. "We need help! Where are you? SPIKE!"

//Twilight?// Spike-Threepio's voice replied over a hiss of static from the commlink. //Where are you? We're down at the ship—//

"Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level!" Twilight ordered.

"Owltoo, shut down the garbage mashers!"

Owltoo plugged into the computer terminal, hooting dutifully. A tense moment later, exuberant cheering erupted from the tiny commlink. //Spike, we're alright!//

"Oh, thank goodness," the little gold dragon replied.

Sunny loped gracefully, silently through a massive service trench filled with the buzzing, humming, and clacking of power equipment. Finding a control panel connected to a network of massive power cables, she made several adjustments; the lights on the panel changed color, and the pitch of the electrical humming changed.

After exiting the garbage pit, Twilight and Rain removed their stolen steedtrooper uniforms; Rain and Rariteia retained the blasters. "I don't think I can use that spell, Twilight," Rariteia said. "My magic...it just isn't that strong."

Twilight lowered her head. "I'm sorry. I forget that sometimes I pick up on things more quickly than other unicorns..." She then looked up in guilty alarm. "I didn't mean to rub it in, I—!"

"Save this for later!" Rain snapped. "We gotta get back to the Rainboom and pray the old mare came through!"

"You're right," Twilight said. "Come on, let's—"

"It's this way," Rariteia interrupted, primly cantering off down a corridor. The other ponies looked at one another, shrugged, and followed.

"There's the ship!" Rain said happily as the quartet reached a bay window overlooking the hangar where the Rainboom was under guard.

Twilight pulled out her commlink. "Spike? Do you copy? Where are you two?"

//We're in the main hangar, across from the ship,// Spike-Threepio replied.

"We're right above you," Twilight said with relief. "Stand by."

"You came in THAT?!" Rariteia asked, looking at Rain's ship with an expression of supreme distaste. "How thoroughly tacky and unstylish!"

"Well EX-CUUUUUSE me, Your Worship," Rain retorted archly. "Maybe you'd rather wait around and be rescued by a fabulous giant hat?"

"Um...all things considered...I suppose I'll stick with you," Rariteia said.

"Hooray."

"Will you two KNOCK IT OFF?" Twilight hissed. "They're gonna hear you bickering and—"

Twenty steedtroopers suddenly appeared out of nowhere and opened fire.

"And that," Twilight finished tiredly, igniting her hornsaber. Bigmacca unlimbered an ungainly-looking horseshoe-throwing weapon from his saddlebag, and Rariteia took cover and began returning fire. Rain, for her part, took to the sky and charged the troopers with a mighty bellow, firing away with her stolen blaster. Steedtroopers fell back reflexively from the aerial onslaught; Bigmacca galloped after the captain, plowing through the troopers and knocking them all over the corridor as he and Rain disappeared from sight.

"She certainly has courage," Rariteia remarked.

"Yeah, but what good'll it do if she gets herself killed?" Twilight replied. "Come on—"

Rain and Bigmacca suddenly reappeared, more troops behind them.

"Hey, Twilight!" Rain exclaimed. "Why the hay don't you use that hornsaber thingie to break that window? Then we can go right down to the ship instead of, y'know, getting chased around by these jokers!"

Twilight blinked. "Uhh...good point."

Less than a minute later, the renegade ponies were in the hangar bay, surprising two droids and a whole platoon of steedtroopers.

Sunny slipped silently past a steedtrooper patrol...and ran right into Nightmare Moon.

"SO, ALI-CORN CELESTI, WE MEET AGAIN FOR THE LAST TIME," the Dark Lady thundered. "WHEN LAST WE MET, I WAS BUT THE LEARNER. NOW, I AM THE MASTER."

"Only a master of evil, Lunakin. And bad fashion sense," Sunny retorted.

Nightmare Moon responded only by igniting her blood-red hornsaber.

"Wait, wait..." Ali-Corn said. "Before we begin..."

"YES?"

"Well, the last time we fought, back on Mustangfar, we fought like true Cuti Knights. Fast, efficient, unstoppable forces of nature." Ali-Corn tilted her head. "Rather than fight like a couple of foals waving broomsticks at each other..."

"A TRUE DUEL OF THE FATES, THEN?" Nightmare Moon asked.

"Something like that, yes," Ali-Corn nodded.

"INTERESTING. SO BE IT." An orchestra rose from the depths of the reactor pit. A gray mare with a long black mane, wearing a white collar with a pink bow tie and sporting a pink treble clef Cutie Mark, raised the conductor's baton clenched in her teeth, and the orchestra began performing "Duel of the Fates". Raising an eyebrow, Ali-Corn activated her own hornsaber.

The two warriors circled one another warily, each probing the other's defenses through the Horce. Suddenly, they blurred into motion, hornsabers humming and hissing as they swung through the air and clashed against one another, showers of sparks raining down on the deck beneath them. After a full minute of fierce hornsaber combat, the two old enemies backed away from one another warily. Suddenly, a heavy panel ripped free from the bulkhead and hurled itself at Ali-Corn, who deftly waved it aside and retaliated with a bundle of loose cabling, which snaked around the Dark Lady. With an angry hiss of her respirator, Nightmare Moon freed herself, then lunged forward, hornsaber blazing as she tried to gore her former master.

"YOU HAVE GROWN FEEBLE AND WEAK," Nightmare Moon declared.

"We'll see about that..." Ali-Corn's hornsaber was a blur of light as she launched her own counteroffensive, driving the Dark Lady back. Soon, their duel spilled over from the corridor into the main hangar...

"PRINCESS RARITEIA!" Spike-Threepio exclaimed happily, rushing forward and launching himself at the unicorn princess in a fierce flying glomp.

Rariteia smiled as she nuzzled the little golden droid. "Oh, my little Spikey-Wikey, thank the heavens you're alright!"

"Yeah, Twilight took real good care of me and Owltoo."

Owltoo hooted.

"Twilight Sparkletrotter."

Owltoo hooted again.

"The purple unicorn right over there."

The owl droid hooted once more.

Spike-Threepio groaned. "Aren't we running this joke into the ground?"

"Are they always like this?" Twilight asked Rariteia in a stage-whisper.

The princess rolled her eyes. "You have NO idea."

"Hey, everypony, somethin's up. Look at the troopers."

Indeed, the troopers had entirely forgotten about the freighter they were supposed to be guarding. A few seconds of looking around told the party exactly why.

"Oh my goodness," Rariteia breathed. "Is that...is that General Celesti?"

"Yeah. And...and she's fighting Nightmare Moon!" Twilight exclaimed. "I gotta help—"

Bigmacca grabbed her by the mane. "Nnnnope."

"But—! Let go—!"

"Macky's right, Twi. There's nothing you can do. She's got to deal with this by herself." Rain sighed. "I just hope she knocked out that forcefield..."

The furious flashing of hornsabers strobed off the bulkheads, the steedtroopers' armor, and the hull of the Millennium Rainboom as the two warriors waged a furious battle, belying their respective ages and infirmities. However, Ali-Corn's strength was beginning to flag, and a glancing blow dug a deep gash in her side, searing the flesh. She dropped to her front knees and her hornsaber extinguished.

"AND NOW IT ENDS," Nightmare Moon declared.

"Go ahead, then...but know this: if you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can poss—"

Ali-Corn's last words were cut short as Nightmare Moon beheaded her.

"SUNNY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Twilight screamed.

Suddenly, the steedtroopers remembered they were there, and trained their blasters on the little group.

With Bigmacca grabbing Twilight by the tail and dragging her, the party galloped up the open ramp of the Millennium Rainboom, Rain and Rariteia returning fire as Bigmacca closed the ramp.

"Sunny..." Twilight whimpered.

"Get her strapped in!" Rain snapped at Rariteia. "Macky, get up here! If the old mare got that shield down, we're bustin' outta this corral!"

"And if she didn't?" Spike-Threepio asked fretfully.

"Then at least we'll go down fighting."

"Eeyup."

The Rainboom's engines roared to life and Rain grabbed hold of the controls, rearing back hard on the yoke. The ponderous freighter lifted free of the deck and, with a fiery burst from its thrusters, shot out of the Death Spur hangar and into space.

"WOOHOO!" Rain cheered.

"This is hardly the time to be cheerful!" Rariteia huffed. She turned her attention to Twilight, eyes sad. "She gave her life to protect us," she said softly to the other unicorn.

Twilight sniffled. "Sunny..."

The ship suddenly rocked violently proximity alarms blaring dire warnings.

"DAMN!" Rain snarled. "We've got company! Macky, get on the shields while I fire up the guns!" Not waiting for a reply, Rain charged into the central hold.

The unicorns looked up as the pegasus bore down on them in a frenzy. "Twi! Snap out of it! I need your help or we're still gonna die!"

Twilight looked up and nodded sharply. "Right." The two ponies made their way to the gunports, while Rariteia and the droids headed for the cockpit to help Bigmacca.

Outside the ship, Equirial interceptors—tiny pink ships with an apple-shaped central hull and two ion propulsion sails shaped like pie tins—swarmed in formation around the escaping freighter, laser bolts strafing the larger ship. With a deft hoof on the controls, Bigmacca made the Rainboom bob, duck, and weave, evading most of the PIE fighters' shots; whatever did hit scored glancing blows off the deflectors. In the gunport, Rain adjusted her headset. "Ready, Twilight?"

//Affirmative,// Twilight responded.

"Great, stay sharp!"

//Here they come!// Rariteia called from the cockpit.

Two PIE fighters flew past the freighter, rear lasers locking on target. Before either could get off a shot, Rain locked on to the interceptor on the Rainboom's port side and opened fire. The tiny pink ship exploded in a brilliant fireball. On the starboard side, two laser blasts skimmed past the second fighter; the third struck dead center, destroying the second ship.

Four more PIE fighters hovered around the ship, spitting laser bolts. Twilight fired at one and missed; the return fire scored a glancing blow near the cockpit.

//Watch it, kid!// Rain snapped.

"Sorry," Twilight replied.

The Rainboom rocked under enemy fire; the two gunners locked onto the fast-moving, tiny targets and managed to take two more out. Still, the remaining two PIE fighters had managed to flank the ship on each side, and were scoring hits on the larger ship's hull.

//We've lost lateral controls,// Rariteia reported from the cockpit.

"Don't worry, she'll hold together," Rain replied. The ship shuddered again, and the sound of a control panel exploding made the pegasus cringe. "Hold together, baby, hold together..."

Owltoo busied himself with extinguishing the flaming control panel while Spike-Threepio fretted and hovered nervously around the princess.

Both gunners tracked the ships hovering just ahead of the Rainboom; both turrets spat out laser fire which caught the PIE fighters dead center, scoring two more kills. Rain let out a whoop of triumphant laughter. "We did it!" she yelled. "Macky, get us the hay outta here."

"Eeyup." The Rainboom streaked away into the blackness of space, leaving the Death Spur far behind.

Nightmare Moon cantered onto the bridge of the Death Spur, coming to a stop beside Crankin, who was watching the starfield through the forward viewer.

"Did they get away?" Crankin asked.

"THEY HAVE JUST GONE INTO HAPPYSPACE," Nightmare Moon replied.

"Are you sure the homing beacon is secure? I'm taking an awful risk here."

"WE SHOULD HAVE NO DIFFICULTY TRACKING THEM TO THE HIDDEN REBEL BASE." Nightmare Moon flared her wings and raised a hoof. "AT LAST, WE WILL CRUSH THIS PATHETIC REBELLION."

Bigmacca and Owltoo were effecting repairs when Rain returned to the cockpit, grinning insouciantly. "Not bad, huh? Sometimes I even amaze myself."

"I'm certain you do," Rariteia replied snippily. "They let us go. Why else do you think we got away so easily?"

"You call that EASY?!"

"They're tracking us," the princess stated.

Rain shook her head and snorted. "Not this ship, sister."

Rariteia huffed, tossing her damaged mane. "Well, at least my little Spikey-Wikey is safe. And more importantly, so is the information he's carrying."

"Which is?" Rain asked.

"A full technical readout of that battlestable," Rariteia replied. "I only hope that once it's analyzed, a weakness can be found. This is not over yet!"

Rain snorted. "It is for me. I ain't crazy enough to fight the Equire. I took this job for the money, and once I get paid, I'm gone!"

"Money? Is that all you care about?" Rariteia demanded hotly. "Well then, if that is all you care about, then that is exactly what you'll receive!" She stalked stiffly from the cockpit. Rain stared dumbfoundedly after her.

"Uhh...YEAH, that was kinda the point," Rain muttered, before returning her attention to the control panel.

Coming out of happyspace, the Millennium Rainboom descended gracefully toward the fourth moon of Hayavin, soaring over the dense jungle, approaching an ancient temple overgrown with vines and shrouded in mist. Upon landing and disembarking, the group were greeted by Pony Rebel soldiers and escorted aboard the brightly painted, heavily armored Freedom Train, which bore them into the temple proper, and the hidden Pony Rebel base.

The train came to a stop in a massive hangar full of starfighters. As the group disembarked, a zebra loped up to Rariteia and nuzzled her warmly. "Princess! You are safe! We had feared the worst! I am so full of joy, my heart could burst!" She stepped back, lowering into a formal bow. "With what happened to Alderaanch, we feared it too late...that you were not spared your father's fate..."

"Actually, we're fairly certain everypony on Alderaanch is still alive," Rariteia replied as she examined her newly-repaired mane in a magically-levitated hoof mirror. "It's just..." She shook her head. "Nevermind. I am certain the Equire has tracked us. We have very little time to prepare our assault!"

"Yes, of course, you are quite right. Let us see those plans, then prepare to fight!"

The Death Spur crept slowly through space, approaching the Hayavin system.

"The Rebel base is on the fourth moon," a tech officer reported to Nightmare Moon.

"PREPARE ALL FIGHTERS. MAKE READY ALL WEAPONS."

Officers snapped to attention, rushing about the bridge, barking orders into comms. Nightmare Moon strode to the forward viewers and watched in anticipation.

In the crowded briefing room, Zecora stood before a giant viewscreen, displaying the technical schematics of the Death Spur.

"The battlestable's defenses truly impress. I fear our cause may be in distress! We have but one chance to survive its wrath." She squeezed a remote control between her teeth, zooming the display. "Here, at the hub, lies our victory path!"

On the display, an impossibly tiny target was marked with a large red X.

"Our cause is in danger, but far from lost. Here, at the center, lies a thermal exhaust. It leads directly to the reactor core. With but one direct hit, the Death Spur is no more!"

"Wow, she can really rhyme on a dime," Spike-Threepio commented aside to Owltoo.

Owltoo hooted a reply.

"Zecora. The zebra giving the mission bri—you're just screwing with me now, aren't you."

The owl-droid twittered saucily.

"The shaft is rayshielded. Lasers are of no use. Only a torpedo hit will cook their goose! But listen well, my little ponies: you will need to evade the Equire's cronies! Interceptors and burrolasers will hound your attack. You must all be prepared, you will need to fight back!"

"Wow, that gets annoying in a hurry," Twilight whispered aside to Rain and Bigmacca, who were loitering in the back of the briefing room.

"Eeyup."

"The shaft is only two meters wide," Zecora continued. "You must aim carefully to get inside!" The screen dimmed. "That is all, my briefing is through. Go now, Pony Rebels, and may the Horce be with you!"

"Thank goodness THAT'S over," Spike-Threepio muttered.

As the Death Spur drew nearer to Hayavin, Nightmare Moon and Crankin watched the computer display showing their position relative to the fourth moon.

//Orbiting the planet at maximum velocity,// an intercom voice droned. //The Pony Rebel base will be in range in thirty minutes.//

"THIS WILL BE A DAY LONG REMEMBERED," Nightmare Moon informed Crankin. "IT HAS SEEN THE END OF CELESTI, AND IT WILL SOON SEE THE END OF THE REBELLION AND A WORLD RECORD BOX OFFICE TAKE."

"The Horce is strong with this franchise," Crankin said sagely.

Twilight and the two droids walked briskly into the bustling hangar, where crews were busily outfitting P-Wing starfighters for the impending mission. Deep in the recesses of the hangar, Twilight spotted Rain and Bigmacca loading several cargo containers onto a cart.

"So...you're just leaving?" Twilight asked. "You got your reward, and that's it? You're gone?"

"Yeah, that's right," Rain said. "I got debts to pay, an' I sure as hay ain't dumb enough to stick around for THIS party." Shoving a box forcefully into the cart, she turned to Twilight, smoothing out her bangs with a hoof. "Say, why not come with us? You're pretty handy in a fight, we could sure use you..."

Twilight snorted angrily, pawing the deck with a hoof. "Rain, look around you! Don't you see what's happening? Everypony here is risking their lives! We need all the good pilots we can get, and you're just gonna fly off?"

"Yeah, well, what good's a reward if you ain't around to use it?" Rain retorted. "Besides, I've seen more than enough of that stupid battlestable already. Goin' back ain't brave, it's suicide."

Twilight turned her back on Rain. "Well then...take care of yourself. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it?" She trotted away, head held high and stiff.

Rain sighed. "Hey, Twi?" She dug at the deck with a hoof, casting her eyes away from the farmpony. "May the Horce be with you."

Twilight paused, turned, nodded at Rain, and went about her business. Rain shook her head, then caught Bigmacca's stern, disapproving expression. "What're you lookin' at?" the smuggler demanded. "I know what I'm doin'."

"Nnnope."

"Twilight! How the hay'd YOU wind up out here?" a jovial voice called.

Twilight turned to the source of the voice, a slate-gray pegasus stallion in a flight suit, and beamed broadly. "THUNDERLANE!"

Thunderlane reared playfully at Twilight. "So, you're going up there with us?"

"Of course," Twilight replied. "I've got some stories to tell, you wouldn't believe—"

"Twilight Sparkletrotter?" a mare interrupted.

The young unicorn looked up to see a pegasus with a bushy fiery-orange mane in a flight suit. "Yes?"

"Have you been cleared for flight duty?"

"Yes ma'am!" Twilight replied, saluting.

"Twi's a great pilot," Thunderlane vouched. "With her up there with us, we can't lose!"

The mare nodded, smiling. "I met your mother once, when I was just a filly. If you've got half her skill, you'll do better than alright."

Twilight ducked her head. "I'll try my best."

With that, the Pony Rebel pilots all hurried to their ships. As Twilight approached her fighter, the crew chief flagged her down and waved a hoof at Owltoo, who was being fitted into a socket on the P-Wing. "Sure you don't want a new droid?" he asked. "This one looks a little..."

Twilight laughed. "I'll take my chances."

With Owltoo secured in place, Twilight teleported into the cockpit and magically lowered her flight helmet onto her head. Below, Spike-Threepio watched them prepare to depart.

"Miss Twilight?" he called.

"Yes, Spike?"

"If you do get shot, try to get hit directly on Owltoo."

Owltoo screeched at him.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "GoodBYE, Spike. Take care of the Princess." With that, the canopy of her P-Wing slid shut and sealed tight. All around, the hangar crews were disconnecting hoses, moving equipment out of the way, and readying lighted batons to guide the fighters out of the hangar.

{{Twilight Sparkletrotter. The Horce will be with you, always.}}

Twilight blinked. "Sunny?" Shaking her head, she tapped at her commset with a hoof. "Must be a glitch," she muttered.

In the war room, Rariteia, Spike-Threepio, and Zecora watched the large screen, displaying Hayavin and its moon system. A large red blotch on the display indicated the approaching Death Spur; several green dots erupted from the fourth moon, on an intercept course.

//Death Spur approaching. Estimated time to firing range, fifteen minutes. ...not that it matters. We know it can't really blow up planets. So just ignore that.//

"Lady Moon, a thought occurs to me," Crankin said suddenly.

"YES?"

"What exactly are we planning to do to the Pony Rebel base?" Crankin frowned. "I mean, the Death Spur's main weapon is a failure. Their base is bound to be shielded against burrolasers. I guess what I'm saying is...what's the point in us even coming here?"

Nightmare Moon was silent for a long moment, save for her respirator.

"YOU COULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT A FEW HOURS AGO," she said at length.

Alarm klaxons rang. "Rebel fighters approaching!" a lieutenant shouted.

"Well...I guess as long as we're here, we might as well kill some Rebels," Crankin said.

"INDEED." The Dark Lady turned and swept from the room.

"Wh-where are you going?" Crankin demanded.

"TO KILL SOME REBELS," Nightmare Moon replied. "HAVE THE DECK CREW PREPARE MY FIGHTER."

"At-at once, Lady Moon!"

//All wings report in.//

//Chestnut Ten standing by.//

//Chestnut Seven standing by.//

//Chestnut Three standing by.//

//Chestnut Si—can I be Pecan Six or something? I don't really like chestnuts—//

//Sure, we can call you Truffle Six, porky...//

//Alright, that's enough. Lock P-foils in attack position.//

Twilight shook her head at the comm chatter and flipped a row of switches. The sleek wings of her fighter expanded into broad, segmented wings reminiscent of steel-feathered pegasus wings. All around her, the other fighters in Chestnut Squadron did likewise; the sunlight reflecting off Hayavin gleamed along the edges of the P-Wings as the fighters glided towards the Death Spur.

As they approached, some of the pilots began to chatter nervously about the size of the battlestable; Chestnut Leader quickly and sternly silenced them. //Cool it, you guys, we're on a mission here.//

The fighters approached the surface of the Death Spur and entered a long trench running along one "point"; five other Rebel squadrons had entered along each of the other points.

//Okay, this is it! Good luck, my little ponies!//

As the Rebel fighters dove into the trench, burrolaser fire ripped through the space between them, and PIE fighters emerged from numerous docking bays like clouds of gnats.

//All wings, we have incoming. Watch your tails!//

Chestnut Squadron broke into four groups of three; the wingponies harried the PIE fighters so their comrades could focus on evading burrolaser barrages and trying to reach the target safely. Thunderlane and the hapless, porky pony nicknamed "Truffle Shuffle" were Twilight's wingponies; she deftly spun her P-Wing out of the way of burrolaser fire, picking off some of the PIE fighters with her lasers as her starfighter danced out of danger.

//Nice shooting, Twi, but save your energy for the target!//

"Guess I've gotten too used to shooting these guys down," Twilight replied.

//You really DO have some good stories...I can't wait to hear—//

Thunderlane was cut off abruptly as a glancing shot took out his comm system; a screaming burst of static filled Twilight's headset. "Lane? You okay? Lane?!"

//I've got visual on him, Chestnut Five,// Shuffle piped in. //He's on fire, but he's okay. His droid's getting it under—//

Shuffle was cut off as a PIE interceptor came up from beneath him and ripped him apart with a quick succession of laser blasts.

Twilight stared at the fireball visible to her port side, cringing. "Poor kid..." Squaring her jaw, she locked onto the guilty party and sent the pilot to hell.

//—shot, Twi...sorry I di . . . t get him bef . . . was a good kid—//

"Don't worry about it, Lane, just get your damage under control and stay on those interceptors!"

Two more PIE fighters converged on Twilight; with some fancy flying, she tricked them into manuevering right into the path of a burrolaser blast from the Death Spur. She then plunged into a suicide dive right at the bottom of the trench, pulling up just before impact. "I'm making my run!" she announced.

//Good luck, Twi!//

Twilight sped along the trench as lasers and fighters exploded above her. She saw the target ahead: the tiny thermal exhaust port. She rapidly calculated her firing trajectory on her targeting computer, carefully took aim, and was just about to squeeze the trigger when her fighter suddenly rocked with a tremendous explosion.

She heard horrendous electronic screeching from above and behind her. Owltoo had taken a direct hit; most of his dome was missing and he was on fire. "OWLTOO!" she screamed. She pulled up sharply, instinctively dodging a second shot which would have ripped through the cockpit. Spinning her fighter, she levelled out and took a shot at her pursuer, but the interceptor was nowhere to be seen.

And then it swooped down from above, and it was no ordinary PIE fighter. Its glossy black finish shone in the reflected lights from Hayavin and the Death Spur. The cockpit had a roughly diamond shape, and the propulsion fins, rather than the typical pie-plate shape of Equirial interceptors, were shaped like crescent moons.

She felt a sudden, terrible pull, and though she had not experienced it before, she knew what it was, and why she was in very real danger.

//Don't worry, Twi, I see him, I've got—//

"NO!" Twilight cried. "LANE, GET OUT OF HERE! THAT'S—"

It was too late. The black interceptor contemptuously evaded Thunderlane's attack and destroyed him with one hit to the cockpit.

Screaming in rage and grief, Twilight fired off two shots at the black starfighter, then peeled up and away into space, weaving a dangerous course between the spitting burrolasers, hoping to draw her deadly adversary into a deathtrap. Of course, the warrior pursuing her had far more experience with the Horce than she herself, and easily kept up with her.

"Come on, come on, get OFF my tail, get OFF my tail, get OFF my tail..." Twilight chanted.

And then suddenly, miraculously, the Millennium Rainboom burst out of happyspace with a blinding flash of prismatic light, right in front of the black interceptor. A laser blast caught one of the moon-shaped sails, sending the little ship tumbling away into the blackness of space.

//You're all clear, kid! Now blow this thing and let's go home!//

"RAIN!" Twilight cried happily. Swinging her P-Wing around, she grinned predatorially as she began recomputing her targeting...

{{Let go, Twilight. Use the Horce. Trust your feelings.}}

"Sunny..."

With a somber nod, Twilight switched off her targeting computer.

"She's turned off her computer," Rariteia announced.

"Twilight Sparkletrotter, whatever is the trouble? Reactivate your targeting computer, on the double!" Zecora commanded.

//There's no trouble. I'm alright. Just...trust me.//

Fifteen seconds later, the Death Spur exploded.

The group in the war room blinked.

"That...that's it? It's over, just like that?" Spike-Threepio asked.

"Well, that WAS the point of all this," Rariteia reminded him.

"Yet, for all our cunning tactics, the victory itself seems...anticlimactic," Zecora said.

"What, you'd rather our base be bucked halfway across the galaxy like Alderaanch?" Rariteia asked.

"I never said that, don't be mistaken. I suppose the sudden victory just has me...shaken."

"...we really need to cure you of that..."

//Great shot, Twi! That was one in a million!// Rain Bolo cheered over the Pony Rebel comm frequency.

//Thanks. And thanks for coming back. I knew I could count on you,// Twilight replied.

//Hey, what kinda jerk would I be if I left my friends hangin'?//

Rariteia smiled.

As Twilight flew a lazy victory loop before setting course to return to the Rebel base, a last echo of Sunny Celesti flitted through her mind:

{{Remember, the Horce will be with you, always.}}

The entire Pony Rebel Alliance gathered in the grand reception hall. Owltoo had been repaired and cleaned, and stood proudly beside a freshly polished Spike-Threepio. At the end of a long purple velvet carpet, Princess Rariteia, in full royal regalia, awaited the heroes of the day.

Twilight Sparkletrotter, Rain Bolo, and Bigmacca, all dressed in finery designed by the Princess herself, strode up the carpet. The Rebels saluted them as they passed. When they reached the dais upon which the princess stood, they turned, faced the Rebels, and returned the salute. With a beaming, sunny smile, Rariteia placed a gleaming medal around the neck of each pony. Once the three heroes had received their awards, the assembly sent up a great cheer.

The Pony Rebel Alliance had won this day. The war against the Galactic Equire was far from over, but for the first time in many years, there was a new hope...

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY

MYTHRIL MOTH

BASED ON "STAR WARS" BY

GEORGE LUCAS

AND

MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

(CREATED BY LAUREN FAUST)

CAST

TWILIGHT SPARKLETROTTER . . . . . . . Twilight Sparkle

ALI-CORN CELESTI . . . . . . . Princess Celestia

RAIN BOLO . . . . . . . Rainbow Dash

PRINCESS RARITEIA . . . . . . . Rarity

SPIKE-THREEPIO . . . . . . . Spike

OWLTOO-DEETOO . . . . . . . Owloysius

BIGMACCA . . . . . . . Big Macintosh

NIGHTMARE MOON . . . . . . . Nightmare Moon

GRAND MULE CRANKIN . . . . . . . Cranky Doodle Donkey

ZECORA . . . . . . . Zecora

Also Starring

Spitfire

Thunderlane

Truffle Shuffle

Octavia Melody

Carrot Cake

Cup Cake

Author's Note:

Due to the rights holders to the Star Wars soundtrack body now ordering Youtube to mute videos containing Star Wars music, I am selecting safer alternate music for the crawls.

The fanfare for this installment is "Theme of Rogue Galaxy" by Tomohito Nishiuri.

Comments

[Warren Peace]

"I FIND YOUR LACK OF FACE DISTURBING," Nightmare Moon informed the now very dead commander.

HOLY SHIT THAT MADE MY F*CKING DAY!!!

ROFLOLMAO!!!!

[Jake8765]

Will you make the whole saga?

[Joerthebrony]

This crossover is the. best. possible. THING!

[BlockHead Jones]

Make the whole saga!!!!

[Jake8765]

(Uses Jedi Mind trick)
You WILL make the entire saga.

[CoastalSarv]

Except the fourth wall breakin' (a joke that is getting real tired in this fandom) this was really, really funny. Please do the whole saga!

[Archvile]

so... who is the emperor? :D

[MythrilMoth]

Thanks, everypony!

I do indeed plan to do the whole saga.

As for who the Empress is...well...you'll have to wait and see. But...

It should be obvious.

[Dashman95]

Rainbow was awesome
i cant wait for next 2,
GAAASSSSPPP!!!
i wonder who yoda is

[Dashman95]

o yeah i wanted to ask will Equire Bucks back be uploaded soon cuze i want it
NOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!

[Dashman95]

[MythrilMoth]

I appreciate the enthusiasm and am very glad you enjoyed the first part of this, but you have to be patient and understand:

1. I have a life beyond just writing FiM fanfics.
2. I have about a million different things vying for my attention.
3. The writing process for something like Mare Wars can take a significant amount of time.

Please be patient, and please don't nag. It'll be done when it's done.
(And as of this moment, Equisode V is...let's call it about 20% complete.)

[Dashman95]

yea (if you want me to be sorry) im a little sorry about the super enthusiasm i just a little excited (plus my ADHD kicked in) and made myself look a little silly
anyways heres my serious response:
I understand that ther'es more to life than writing fanfics (i do other things as well), i also understand about the million things headed at you, and knowing star wars i know it will take a while to write, I will be waiting patiently for the next episode, and i didnt mean to nag, again my ADHD kicked in and i got little excited.
So while i'll be waiting for episode 5, and apologize for the nagging i didnt mean to cause
Also im usually a very patient person
and lastly i'll be looking forward to episode 5

[Dashman95]

And just to make sure if you realize, i do know i said i'll be waiting for episode 5 about 3 times, i just wanted you to make sure that i understand

[KnoFear]

Is it possible there was a Kill Bill reference snuck in there?

[MythrilMoth]

1071106 Among others.

[Black Hoof]

Nice crossover here, I'm looking forwards for the next part. It should have more comments and likes.

[Georg]

Thank you Wandered D for referencing this. I about broke a gut laughing.
"If you do get shot, try to get hit directly on Owltoo." <- Best line ever!

[Commander Jenna Cipher]

This is amazing. Hilarious, epic, and amazing.

Can't wait for the next episode. I have a couple guesses on who empress could be... But I'll just wait and find out.

[Arzoo]

So many deliciously cringe worthy names...

[Scarheart]

The steedtroopers all stared in confusion at their master.

Did you mean mistress?

"There goes another one," an officer on the command deck of the Equirial Starbucker commented, watching as another escape pod launched from the Pony Rebel ship.
"No life scans aboard. Must've short-circuited."
"Shouldn't we shoot it down anyway? I mean, because we're evil and all?"
The captain turned to look at his lieutenant in disdain. "And exactly how is destroying an empty escape pod evil? Who does that torment? Who does that benefit? You still have a lot to learn about being evil."
"Sorry, Captain."

These two deserve their own side story!

"I FIND YOUR LACK OF FACE DISTURBING," Nightmare Moon informed the now very dead commander.
"Oh great, now I've got to get someone in here to mop up this mess," the donkey muttered.

I feel bad for the janitor.

"Moose Eisley Spaceport," Sunny said softly from beside her. "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy..."

I was kinda hoping for a changeling hive...oh, well.

Name's Rain Bolo

Initially read that as Rain Blow... tired eyes of doom, I have.

I enjoyed this parody immensely! I'll fav and read the other one after I do some writing. Brilliant work!

[the other sans]

Also Starring
Spitfire
Thunderlane
Truffle Shuffle
DJ-P0N3
Carrot Cake
Cup Cake

Wait... where did they come in? I know Thunderlane was there. Hmm... unless...

A blood-spattered mare in a sleek yellow track suit charged into the middle of this bar from seemingly nowhere, a katana clenched in her teeth, and a gory spectacle of mayhem, murder, and martial arts mastery erupted.

That line was her and a reference to Kill Bill.

an absolutely breathtaking, almond-coated pegasus with her glossy black mane pinned up with chopsticks and a beautiful silk kimono draped about her.

No idea who this is. Also on a side note, it is a bad idea to image google search Truffle Shuffle. Why in the mother of god did I do that?!

guest of honor at a litle ceremony

Little.

[Cosmic Cowboy]

This story restored my faith in puns. *Lack of face* I couldn't breathe.
Also, "Millenium Rainboom" has got to be the coolest thing I've ever read. Though I thought it would be Millenium Tortoise.

[ShadowLDrago]

"The escape pod had a..." the steedtrooper trailed off. "Okay wait, lady. If you're gonna pull that old mind trick stuff on us, at least make it make sense."

He has a point, making no sense is Discord's thing.

Ali-Corn studied Twilight intently for a long moment. "You must learn the ways of the Horce if you are to accompany me to Alderaanch."

THE HORCE! OH GOD MY SIDES!

The donkey peered sternly at him, frowning. "Like I said, she DISSOLVED the council permanently."

Oh god...

The stable commander's eyes bulged again as, with a terrible spray of blood and gore, the skin and flesh of his head peeled away from his skull, splattering on the floor and table.
"I FIND YOUR LACK OF FACE DISTURBING," Nightmare Moon informed the now very dead commander.

I find this simultanously hilarious and disturbing.

Twilight stared in horror. Sunny paled. "Er. Wrong bar." They slowly backed out, eyes wide and alarmed.
Inside, dozens of huge, well-endowed stallions wearing rather suggestive leather goods and huge, bushy mustaches had been...

Oh my...

"So you wanna go to Alderaanch?" a raspy voice asked from behind and slightly above. The party turned and looked up. A sky-blue pegasus with a wild, rainbow-colored mane, wearing a loose black vest and a wide belt with a holstered blaster, looked down at them.

Rainbow as Han, who else.

The party charged up the ramp, which Rain hastily closed. "Get us the hay outta here, Macky!" she bellowed.
"Eeeeyup," a deep voice belonging to a burly red stallion rumbled from the cockpit. The engines hummed to life.

And Big Mac is Chewie...

And then the Millennium Rainboom was in happyspace.

This amuses me far more than it should.

"That isn't your hair either, unless some sort of furry rodent mated with your head."

SHOTS FIRED!

Alderaanch JUMPED, as would a pony suddenly jabbed in the sides with sharp spurs, and broke its orbit, rocketing off haphazardly into the galaxy.

What?

"Ah, well," the officer said nervously, "everypony on Alderaanch is still gonna die without a sun, and now we've got a rogue planet flying around out there like an out of control bowling ball. Just—just think what kind of chaos that'll cause."
Nightmare Moon did think of what kind of chaos that would cause.
So did everypony else on the bridge.
And Nightmare Moon...laughed.

Eep.

Ali-Corn Celesti sighed heavily as she extended one full, broad, feathery wing above her left flank, sweeping the feathers past the bright golden sun mark emblazoned there.
On her right, however, was a ruined, mangled mess of a wing, most of which had been amputated and stapled down a very long time ago.

Oh god...

"...I'm so gonna regret takin' this fare."

Probably. Speaking of which, I'm curious as to how out of the ordinary horn saber spells work, like say, Maul's double blades Lightsaber, or Dooku's curved hilt wait, Sombra was Dooku! It makes sense! The title the curved horn instead of the curved hilt, the red, it all fits! I think.

"You're as crazy as that old mare," Rain said wonderingly.

Yep. Wait, I just realized, if this goes like the movies, this'll end in RariDash.

"Well, at least it can't possibly get any worse," Rain said.
The walls started to rumble.

You were saying?

"Well EX-CUUUUUSE me, Your Worship," Rain retorted archly. "Maybe you'd rather wait around and be rescued by a fabulous giant hat?"

OK, that's funny.

"Well, the last time we fought, back on Mustangfar, we fought like true Cuti Knights. Fast, efficient, unstoppable forces of nature." Ali-Corn tilted her head. "Rather than fight like a couple of foals waving broomsticks at each other..."

Yeah, you did.

"INTERESTING. SO BE IT." An orchestra rose from the depths of the reactor pit. A gray mare with a long black mane, wearing a white collar with a pink bow tie and sporting a pink treble clef Cutie Mark, raised the conductor's baton clenched in her teeth, and the orchestra began performing "Duel of the Fates". Raising an eyebrow, Ali-Corn activated her own hornsaber.

Spike-Threepio groaned. "Aren't we running this joke into the ground?"

You are.

Ali-Corn's last words were cut short as Nightmare Moon beheaded her.

Heads up! Don't lose your head! Don't get ahead of yourself! Twilight, go on ahead! (I'm not apologizing.)

"Money? Is that all you care about?" Rariteia demanded hotly. "Well then, if that is all you care about, then that is exactly what you'll receive!" She stalked stiffly from the cockpit. Rain stared dumbfoundedly after her.

Uh, that's the POINT, she's not a heroine, she's a smuggler,

The train came to a stop in a massive hangar full of starfighters. As the group disembarked, a zebra loped up to Rariteia and nuzzled her warmly. "Princess! You are safe! We had feared the worst! I am so full of joy, my heart could burst!" She stepped back, lowering into a formal bow. "With what happened to Alderaanch, we feared it too late...that you were not spared your father's fate..."

And here I thought she'd be Yoda.

"Zecora. The zebra giving the mission bri—you're just screwing with me now, aren't you."
The owl-droid twittered saucily.

Yep.

"The Horce is strong with this franchise," Crankin said sagely.

Indeed.

The mare nodded, smiling. "I met your mother once, when I was just a filly. If you've got half her skill, you'll do better than alright."

Spitfire once met Twilight's mother, neat-wait a tick, does this mean Luna's Twilight's mother?

Twilight shook her head at the comm chatter and flipped a row of switches. The sleek wings of her fighter expanded into broad, segmented wings reminiscent of steel-feathered pegasus wings. All around her, the other fighters in Chestnut Squadron did likewise; the sunlight reflecting off Hayavin gleamed along the edges of the P-Wings as the fighters glided towards the Death Spur.

Here we go, thus begins the Assult of the Death Sput.

"Yet, for all our cunning tactics, the victory itself seems...anticlimactic," Zecora said.

Would you rather be blown to pieces of bucked halfway across the galaxy?

[CrossNail]

This whole story had me laughing and laughing the whole way through!!!
Although, I would like for there to be serious parts, because it wouldn't be a cross-over without the tear-jerking, 'makes-you-want-to-cry-your-eyes-out-in-sadness' parts.