Spice on the wind

by xscar10

Walking into Ponyville

Ah Ponyville, the sunrise was beautiful. I have no idea how I got here, but it's a breathtaking sight. I was standing in awe at the sight... I never would have thought something like this could ever happen, much less to me. I stumbled down a hill wearing a costume I had fashioned for myself because Halloween was approaching. I was going as a biker, so I wore a leather jacket, gloves, and boots, with boot-cut jeans, and a white shirt. As I came to the bottom of the hill I tripped to my hands and knees, I looked down at my hands and just inches from them... hooves. I slowly looked up to see Applejack, yes Applejack. I sat in shock, just staring at her wordlessly. She smiled awkwardly.
"Umm... Hi..." She uttered in her southern accent.
"Hi..." I responded in mine. She let out a slightly breathy chuckle.
"I'm Applejack." She said, and my jaw dropped.
"I can't believe it..." I thought aloud, sitting up.
"Welcome ta Sweet Apple Acres." She said, and I stood up scratching my head.
"THE Sweet Apple Acres?" I asked, looking around to see apple trees covered with the most delicious looking shiny red apples.
"The one and only. Why, you've heard of us?" She asked, and I had a half smile on my face.
"Yes, yes I have." I say and turn back to her.
"Our reputation precedes us. Shoot, I don't even know whacha are, much less where you're from. Must be a long way though, and you heard of the apple family?" She said, pride swelled in her voice.
"Quite frankly, yes." I said a full smile creeping along my face. "Excuse my poor manners, but I'm just... so... so shocked." I said rubbing my forehead.
"Why's that hon?" AJ asked, and it brought me to an ear to ear grin.
"I come from somewhere far away from here, and I think I'm the only one of my kind to ever see the Equestrian sunrise." I said turning and looking out over the fields.
"Well now, that there sure sounds like quite an honor." AJ says, and I rub my eye.
"It is, the only problem is... I have no idea how I got here." I say, rather open about my ignorance.

---------------------------------

Applejack figured I seemed innocent enough, despite my size... and shape... and standing on two feet... and having feet... and hands... and my overall strange appearance in general. She decided to help me by taking me to see Twilight. We walked into Ponyville, and there was nopony (Yes! No pony) to be seen. No doubt they were hiding in their homes. I don't doubt that I must look pretty scary to them. We came up to the large tree in the center of town, seeing the door on the side AJ came up and knocked.
"Just a minute, I'll be right there." A voice said from behind the door.
"Hurry up, I have somepony I want ya ta meet. Well maybe not somepony..." AJ said with a slight laugh.
"What're you talking about?" Asked twilight, opening the door. She immediately saw my me, and an odd, and ever so slightly frightening delight came over her face. "Who is this?! What is this?! I've never seen anything like it." Said Twilight, trotting around in circles around me.
"I'm a human. Though I'm not sure exactly how I got here." I say with a shrug.
"And it can talk!" She exclaimed, stopping in front of me.
"Yes, I can. I can do a lot more than that, but for now lets focus on the talking." I said, adjusting my jacket.
"Where did you come from?" Twilight asked walking inside and waving us in. I had to duck to fit through the door, but could stand inside.
"The U.S.A." I said walking over to the bookshelves.
"The what?..." Asked AJ, and I remembered they would have no idea what that was.
"Oh, it's an acronym. It stands for the United States of America." I said, thinking of a way to explain it.
"United States of America? Very official soundin'." Said AJ, and twilight started looking through her books.
"I don't see anything like that in here." She said rummaging through her atlas.
"You won't find it in there. It's a lot further away than you would think." I said with a chuckle.
"How much further away could it be, this is a map of the whole world..." She said, and I just smirked and raised an eyebrow. Then it began to dawn on her. "Are you from another world?!" Twilight asked slamming the book shut.
"You guessed it." I nodded, and smiled.
"That explains your... odd appearance." Said AJ. "No offence." She said patting the side of my leg.
"None taken." I said with a shrug.
"There are so many things I want to ask you! What are your dietary habits? Do you have a form of government? Why do you speak perfect pony?" Twilight asked, and grabbed a ton of paper, a pen and ink.
"In order, omnivorous, Democratic-republic, and I'm not you're speaking English." I said looking through the books on the shelf.
"Care ta elaborate, sugar?" AJ asked sitting on the floor next to Twilight.
"Sure. Humans are omnivores, meaning we eat plants and animals." I said, and they both gagged. "I know, you're herbivores. Anyways on to government. We have a Democratic-republic, at least in the U.S., but around our world there's all sorts of government that do little more than tolerate each other's existence." I said pulling out a book and looking at it. Both Twilight and AJ rose an eyebrow at each other. "Finally, I speak English. A language that originated in England, another country from my world. English had become the intentional standard for my world. For some reason, you speak a language nearly identical to it." I said, and walked over to them.
"Those're some pretty hard ta swalla' stories. Your world is very different from ours." AJ said, and Twilight nodded.
"Eh, it sounds more different than it really is." I said opening the book up and reading a few lines.
"Why don't you sit? It must be exhausting standing on your hind legs for so long. I haven't seen you get down since you got here." Twilight said, motioning to a chair.
"Actually, Humans often stand on our feet all day." I said, continuing to read.
"Feet?..." Said Twilight questioningly.
"Oh right, you have hooves..." I said and untied my boot, pulling it off an showing my foot. "Humans have feet a lot like rabbits." I said sitting and holding my foot up. Then I pulled my glove off. "Also hands, very dexterous tools these." I said, holding it up.
"Like a monkey!" Said a voice from behind me. I turned to see a big pink poof of hair. Yes it was pinkie.
"Exactly, except less furry." I said with a smile.
"Hey pinkie." AJ and Twilight said.
"Hey guys! Who's my new friend?!" Pinkie asked, hopping up on the table.
"I'm a human, an alien from another world." I said, with a bit of a sly smile. There was a bit of an awkward silence.
"AAAAHHHH! WE'RE BEING INVADED!" Pinkie yelled and ran out the door. I shrugged and went on talking with Twilight and AJ, answering questions, and reading a few books.
"Wow, there's so much to ask about your world, I have to schedule some time to talk about it some more." Twilight said, marking it down on her schedule.
"Well seeing as how I have all the free time in the world, and it's not even my world, sure any time..." I said, scratching my head. "Just one thing... What'll I do in the meantime? Where will I stay?" I ask, and stand up, putting my boot and glove back on.
"Well ya can feel free to stay with the apple family down at Sweet Apple Acres, I'm sure Granny Smith won't mind." Said AJ, flipping her mane over her side.
"Or you could stay here if you'd like, I'm sure Spike wouldn't mind." Said Twilight, and I stood thinking for a moment.
"Well, I think the apple family has more room, and besides, I can help around the farm as I wait." I said, and walked over to put the book back on the shelf.
"Alright, you head on back to the farm hon, I've got something to ask Twilight." AJ said, so I gave a thumbs up, soon realizing that they have no idea what that means, and left.
"So Twilight?... Whadda ya think?" AJ asked, and Twilight put on an unsure face.
"Well... I think I need to tell Princess Celestia." Said Twilight, rolling up a paper into a scroll.
"Actually... I meant... did ya smell 'im?" AJ asked, flicking her tail to the side.
"Oh... that was him?" Twilight asked a little surprised.
"Yep, weird huh?" AJ said with an awkward smile.
"It certainly is, and intriguing. I'll have to study further into it." Said Twilight, walking upstairs.
"What exactly is that smell anyway?" Asked Applejack.
"Well to my best guess, a pheromone." Said Twilight, her horn glowing, and pulling out a book labeled "Chemicals and chemical interaction in mammals".
"Pheromone? I'm guessin' that's fancy talk for B.O." AJ said, which was surprisingly accurate.
"Close enough. I've got an idea what it might be, but I'll need to do some experiments. If he's willing I mean." Said Twilight, levitating the book toward Applejack. "Certain pheromones can be quite... stimulating." Twilight said with a slight blush.
"Well, why is it effecting us? Shouldn't it only work on human mares?" Asked Applejack, pushing the book of to the side.
"There's no way of knowing how alien anatomy works. The most we can do is study him. In the mean time, be careful around him... You never know how he or you might react." Said Twilight levitating the book in front of her.
"Right..." Said AJ.
I was walking down the streets of ponyville when I came across a familiar sight, Rarity's boutique. I walked toward the doorway, ducking obviously, and as I took not but two steps in, I heard a high pitch squeak. I looked down to see a small filly, Sweetie Belle. "Hi... "I said, and after a short awkward silence, Sweetie Belle squealed and ran into the kitchen. Seconds later I heard Rarity trying to calm her down. There was a brief argument followed by the delicate clicking of Rarity's hooves into the room.
"Ok Sweetie Belle I'm in here and nopony-" She started, but then soon met eyes with me. She opened her mouth for what I expect would have been a scream.
"Waitwaitwait!" I said. "I'm a customer." I said gesturing to her Mannequin.
"A... customer...?" She said, half with fear, half with confusion.
"Yes. A customer." I said readjusting my jacket. Rarity walked in closer, but still a ways away. "I need clothes." I said kneeling down.
"As much as I'd like to... you seem to have a different kind of fur than I'm used to." She said gesturing to my chest.
"Hmmm? Oh! No these are clothes." I said opening my jacket.
"What are you all dressed up for?" Asked rarity trotting closer.
"My people wear clothes all day, everyday." I said, and Rarity's eyes shown with sparkles, grinning from ear to ear.
"You wear clothes all day every day?!" She said sprinting up next to me.
"Yes, yes we do." I said nodding.
"It's a dream come true! I've never made clothes for your body type before so it'll be a challenge too!" She cooed, trotting in place giddily. She took in a deep breath. "Come with me!" She said pulling me by my hand into the back room. "Alright I need measurements, so take off your... whatever you call those." She said, and gestured to me.
"Alright..." I took my jacket and shirt off. I always did like going without a shirt, made me feel... unrestrained. I stood shirtless and bare foot. Rarity walked over with measuring tape, and looked me over.
"Aren't you taking these off?" She pointed to my pants.
"No, humans have something we have to cover up in there." I said scratching my head.
"Well I need your measurements; whatever it is I need those off." She said, and I was suddenly glad I wore boxers. Glowing in a blue light, the measuring tape wrapped around my bare chest. Rarity stood behind me on a step ladder, and placed a hoof on my shoulder. It's odd... Her hoof was soft, nothing like hooves on horses back home, though it being Rarity, might have just been because of her many spa sessions.
I took a moment to think since I had some free time. Since I got here I was so excited to be in such a wonderful place, my mind was just exploring the possibilities... but I'm surprised my life back home hadn't crossed my mind. I didn't have much back on earth. I had a crappy job, I had a small place, I had my classes, I had some family. I'm not saying I want to stay, I'm not saying I want to go. I mean... On the positive side, this place is a paradise, on the negative I'm alone. If I go home I can see my family, but never this war-less, and near crime-less world. If I even can get home. My mind churned with thought, so much so that I almost didn't notice Rarity had stopped measuring, and started sniffing me...
"Umm... Rarity?" I said looking back to her.
"Mmmm, mmm... Hmmm? Huh, what?!" Rarity said shaking herself from her trance. She quickly went back to measuring. I raised an eyebrow, more than a little confused. "So, umm, tell me, what business have you in Ponyville?" Rarity asked, and I looked over my shoulder.
"I'm going to be working down at Sweet Apple Acres." I said, feeling a slight tug on my shoulder as she wrapped the tape around my arm.
"Oh, with -ahem- Applejack?" Rarity said, I sensed something in her voice, but I wasn't quite sure what.
"Yep, she said I could stay down at the farm while I'm here." I said, and Rarity huffed lightly.
"All that dirt, and physical labor, you get all dirty... and sweaty." She said, wrapping the tape around my waist.
"Well it's not so bad, I actually like the idea of working with my hands." I said, and she looked up at my hands.
"Yes, they do look like they would be useful... dexterous... strong." She trailed off. "Comparatively speaking mind you." She said unwrapping the tape from around me, and hopped down to the ground. "Alright, I have your measurements, I should have an outfit ready for you by tomorrow." Said Rarity, walking in front of me. I was glad I could finally rest my arms... and put pants back on. "By the way, I've been wondering, what kind of fabulous fabric is that cover of yours?" Rarity asked as I was buckling my belt.
"Oh... umm... honestly?" I asked with a slight chuckle.
"Yes, I must know. It looks positively stunning." She said picking it up, and handing (or... would it be hoofing?) it to me. I put the shirt and jacket back on.
"Alright... it's leather." I said with a shrug. "It's made from the skin of cows..." I said scratching my head.
"Uh... Oh, well... that's certainly -ahem- different?" Rarity said nervously.
"You asked. I had to tell you." I chuckled.
"No,no, It's... Quite alright." She said with a look that was at least trying to be sympathetic.
"Twilight could probably explain it better." I said, and started for the door.
"F-feel free to come back!" She said with another nervous chuckle. Suddenly as I stepped out of the boutique I sensed an eerie... feeling, in the air. Almost as if... someone were watching me... I ignore it and continue walking when I see Pinkie wearing her nose glasses.
"Pinkie, you don't have to hide from me." I say with a smirk.
"AHHH! HE CAN SEE THROUGH DISGUISES!" Pinkie yelled and ran away. Trotting around the corner came Rainbow-Dash.
"Whoa... What's up with Pinkie?" She asked to no one in particular.
"Yeah... that was me." I shrugged. Dash turned to her left, and looked up.
"Yikes... no wonder she freaked out... What are you?" Dash asked, laughing lightheartedly.
"I am a human. A bipedal hairless ape, that, like earth ponies, are prone to using tools to do our work." I said, and she flew up to eye level with me.
"Whoa! Freaky! So wait, if you're an ape, where's your tail?" She asked flying around me.
"No, monkeys have tails, apes don't. I wish I had a tail though." I said, and put my hands in my pockets. I noticed I still had a pocket knife with me, and a pencil.
"So where are you from?" Asked Dash. I replied with a sigh, and a warm smile.
"Let's just say I'm far from home. I'm sure Twilight will be along to explain everything to the whole town soon enough." I really had no idea how to tell people I'm an alien without getting Pinkie's reaction...
"So you've met twilight already? Who else have you met, and why haven't I seen you before now?" She asked, asking as if she thought I was some kind of secret.
"Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity know. I just got here a few hours ago." I explained, putting my hands behind my head.
"Hmm... you're pretty big, are you as strong as you look?" She asked, taking a deep breath and crossing her fore-hooves.
"Possibly, I'm not sure how strong I look to you." I said mirroring her and crossing my arms.
"Alright... then how about a race then? I won't even use my wings." Asked Dash with a bit of a cocky tone. I knew she was baiting me, I mean, who could be faster than Rainbow-Dash? Dash is literally her name. But I figured I'd try for fun.
"Alright, where to?" I asked, and her eyes lit up.
"First pony... I mean... you know what I mean. First one to Fluttershy's house wins!" She huffed, getting down on the ground beside me.
"To Fluttershy's house it is." I reply, getting ready to run.
"On three." She said. "One... two... three!" She called and without missing a beat, she took off. I started running as quick as I could, and I noticed I was faster, stronger, and more agile here than I was at home. So much so I was actually not so far behind Rainbow-Dash! Needless to say I still lost, but I was surprised. I was always healthy, but never like this! I gave a quick huff of breath, and turn to Rainbow-Dash. "You were good, not quite as good as me, but ok." She commented, flying up to me.
"Thanks, I'm surprised I was able to do that well. I'm not even that strong for a human." I said cracking my knuckles. If Dash hadn't been in the air she would have skid to a stop.
"You're what?!" She retorted, trying to grasp what I'd just said.
"Yeah, I'm alright, but I'm no pro athlete. I only play a couple sports for fun." She could have had a piano drop on her head and not cared right then. "You better watch out, I might beat you if I train hard enough. Better start training yourself." I chuckled, but she still took me seriously.
"I'm going to do that right now!" She zipped off out of sight before I could say I was kidding.
"O-oh my..." I hear from behind me, and instantly know who it is with that unmistakably adorable voice. "Umm, excuse me sir." I turned to see Fluttershy, tugging on my pant-leg. "What are you? I-I mean, if you don't mind me asking." She asked, scratching at the ground with the tip of her hoof. I sat down to be at eye level with her, and offered my hand.
"I'm a human, sort of a mix between a monkey and a bear without fur." I said trying to seem as friendly as possible.
"I've never heard of a human before." She seemed a little bit more calm, possibly because I referred to myself as an animal.
"Well I'm from a land far away, so far, that no one in all of Equestria has even heard of it." I laid on my back and looked up at the clouds.
"My goodness... that sounds like it's a long way away. You must be tired from such a long journey." She said, speaking attentively, there was no doubt in my mind that she really felt sympathetic for me.
"No, it's quite alright. I'm not tired at all." I sit up, and take off my jacket, because I was getting hot and sweaty after my race with Dash.
"Oh... Oh wow!... That's quite a strong scent you have!" She said eyes widening.
"Yeah, sorry about that, I'm all sweaty from my race with Rainbow-Dash. Is it really bad?" I sniff myself.
"No, not at all! I think it smells wonderful!" She said trotting closer and sniffing me.
"Wonderful? That's a first." I chuckled, leaning on my knees.
"It smells sweet and..." Fluttershy sniffed again. It was odd... Could I really smell that good? I didn't smell any different to myself.
"Is something wrong? You seem to be acting a bit... odd." I turn to her, now nearly touching me with her muzzle.
"I-I'm sorry, I have to go now!" She blushed dark, quickly turning and running back inside. I simply shrugged and stood up grabbing my jacket. At that moment I was glad my shirt was sleeveless, because I was burning up. Strangely enough though, when I walked back through Ponyville this time; all the doors opened as I would walk by... like they could all smell me, they stuck their muzzles out and sniffed the air. I was beginning to question what was going on, but I had figured the day was half over, and I hadn't really gotten anything done. So I headed down toward Sweet Apple Acres.
I walked all the way down to the gates of Sweet Apple. When I got there I saw Big Mac apple bucking, so I decided to go ahead and help. I walked up to Big Mac, who immediately raised an eyebrow. "Hey Big Mac?" I walked up to him.
"Uhhhyup?" He responded, questioningly.
"I've come by to help with the apples." I said, and he shrugged.
"Alright." He nodded and went back to bucking. I went up to a tree and I got to thinking, if I'm nearly as fast as Rainbow-Dash, maybe I'm strong enough to shake the apples from the trees. I stood a good ways away, and got a good start. I kicked the side of the tree, and low and behold, out shook apples. I had to be careful not to hurt myself when kicking trees. I don't have hooves like them, so I could very well break my bones if I'm not careful.
As time went on, and after dozens of trees, and tons of sweat I noticed something. My scent didn't affect Big Mac, so I got to thinking, maybe it only affects mares. Eventually Applejack came out and told us we were done for the day, and she seemed just as affected as all the others.
"So, we don't have much room up at the house, but there's plenty of room here in the barn, if that's ok with you." She looked up to me, as if expecting me to decline.
"Sounds good." I reply, thinking it'd be better to stay as far away from mares as possible.
"It does have it's advantages, it's nice and quiet, and hardly anyone comes out here. So you'll have your privacy." She said, and I got the feeling it wasn't really to me... "We'll help ya get a mattress in here after dinner, sugar cube." She trotted out of the door, with me close behind. I followed her back to the house, where I ducked through the door, and joined them for dinner. I sat at the foot of the table, next to Granny Smith and Apple Bloom. Granny Smith didn't care much, almost not at all, for my staying, so that ruled out my theory about it only affecting mares. Apple Bloom on the other hand, I couldn't tell. She just seemed like a curious little filly, which wasn't odd all things considered.
"What else can ya do with your feet?" Apple Bloom asked.
"I can pick some things up with them." I answer.
"If you're like an earth pony, are there pegasus and unicorn humans?" She asked.
"Nope, just earth humans." I answer.
"Are there lots of humans?" She asked.
"Seven billion." I answer.
"Do humans have cutie marks?" She asked.
"No, but we have tattoos." I answer.
"If there are no pegasus humans how do ya control the weather?" She asked.
"We don't, it's like the Everfree Forest, it goes on it's own." I answer.
"What about the seasons? Do ya change those?" She asked.
"Nope those change on their own too." I answer.
"What about-" Apple Bloom started, but was cut off by AJ.
"Now Apple Bloom, I'm sure he doesn't want ta spend all of his time answering questions." She scolded, and continued eating.
"No, I don't mind. I'm glad she's so curious, it's healthy; keeps the mind sharp." I said smiling to Apple Bloom, who now had a grin as wide as one you'd see on Pinkie.
I kept eating my... well I'm not sure what it was, but it had vegetables. As I ate I looked around the room, and as expected, all eyes were on me. Apple Bloom's wide with wonder, Granny's narrow with suspicion I'm guessing, Big Mac with amusement, and AJ with... a heavy lidded gaze, and a smile that you'd give your very special somepony. Though I doubt she knew she was doing it.
"So, I've been wonderin', what did ya used ta do back home?" AJ asked, taking off her hat. I stopped and thought for a minute before answering, thinking of a way to make my job sound more impressive.
"Well, I was a taskmaster. Just about anything you needed done, you come to me." I said, feeling pretty good about that, and it was true enough. In reality I was a janitor, but I always did more than just that. Going the extra mile and all.
"Ta what extent does the term 'anything' entail exactly?..." Asked Granny, giving me a look that screamed suspicion.
"Well... hmm... If you ask it I'll pretty much do it, as long as it's not, you know, wrong." I answer thinking back to a couple of times where I'd done just that.
"Does that mean if I asked you ta help me find my cutie mark, you'd do it?" Asked Apple Bloom, standing in her chair.
"Hooves off the table." AJ said, quick as a whip. Apple bloom sat back on her haunches, awaiting an answer.
"Sure, I wouldn't even charge you for it." You'd be surprised how many kids come to a friendly janitor for advice.
"Really?!" Apple Bloom hopped over the table and knocking me out of my chair. Everyone started laughing, including me. The rest of the night wasn't as eventful, but it was fun; like dinner with an actual family. I hadn't had that in years. After dinner, Big Mac and I pulled out an old mattress, and carried it out to the barn. AJ was putting Apple Bloom to bed. Mac and I carried the mattress into the back of the barn, and laid it down.
"Hey, can I ask you somethin'?" Asked Big Mac, the first time I'd heard him say more than one word all day.
"Sure ask away." I said, brushing off my hands.
"Have you noticed anythin'... strange, about Applejack?" He asked looking up to me, which I'm sure he's not used to.
"Well, I have noticed her, and her friends are acting a little strange. Some were even sniffing me." I recalled, sitting down on the mattress. Big Mac leaned his head in and sniffed me.
"I don't smell anything." He said, raising an eyebrow.
"Neither can I, but apparently they can." I scratched my head. "I'm going to ask Twilight about it tomorrow." I said, laying back.
"Alright, but in the meantime, be careful around Applejack, and the others." He said turning and trotting off. I laid looking up at the roof of the barn and just thinking, as I have always done. I just thought about my life, and all that I'd done, and how none of it really mattered, because here I have a fresh start... I could be anybody... or I guess anypony... and on that I drifted to sleep.

Comments

[epicdonus1123 BOT]

AHHHHHHHHHH Too lazy to read comic. Sounds good, so I'll just put up this comment and like it. Oh yeah... I am now the first like, comment and view. Maybe I'll be the first favorite

[The Wingman]

This looks good so far. I'll be keeping an eye on this

[SgtRamen]

DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL! i'm sorry, it's just; everyywhere i look, i see stories and fanfics that are god only knows how much better than mine.....i'm such a terrible writer. don't pity me, i fucking hate being pited. anyways, great start. i will now like your story and i will be watching you. P.S. : thank you, you have inspired me to revise and change my chapters so that they look more realistic

The Maste of Madness, signing off

[Olpoe]

Interesting I like this please continue.

[xscar10]

881311 Will do, and thank you. 881264 I don't know what you're talking about man, I read your story, I thought it was fantastic. Well I read the first chapter, but I'll read the rest soon. 880866 Why thank you, I will return the favor by keeping my eye on you as well. 880694 XD Fantastic!

[MicroUltraMad]

I like this, although there seems to be a less than adequate amount of freaking the hell out. There are also a lot of capitalization errors. I can live with that though.

[xscar10]

886402 The capitalization errors I didn't notice, I'll try to fix it
As for the freaking out, he does, just not the way most people would expect. If you notice, the closer to the beginning you get in the story, the more smiley and excited he gets. As you read through, he mellows down slowly.

[Zellor]

Hmm... My clopfic senses are tingling...
HumanXRainbow Dash?
Who knows...

[xscar10]

888167 Maybe. Maybe.

[MicroUltraMad]

888190
More likely HumanXPonyville. That is, until his pelvic bone disintegrates.

[xscar10]

888629 I don't know what you mean. I'm sure they're all perfectly capable of controlling themselves... or at least able to long enough for him to heal.

[RandomEncounter]

It's rather annoying to read a paragraph consisting of multiple characters talking.
When to make a new paragraph.

[Shadowblade019]

Tell me Ms. Aj, do I smell like a man?

[DerpTape]

Whoops. Somebody forgot to turn their swag off