Vignette Seven - Luna Eclipsed
The first sign of anything amiss that the citizens of Ponyville noticed was the crowd of children screaming in terror, with Pinkie Pie leading their charge through the streets. This was swiftly followed by clouds rolling in, blocking out the moon and stars as a darkened chariot flew into the night’s sky drawn by a pair of thestrals. Twilight Sparkle and Spike arrived on the scene just as the chariot’s passenger made a soft landfall. Their head whipped back to reveal their identity as a horned pony mare, her coat dark blue and her eyes cyan, her mane a rippling sea of varying shades of blue and the odd sparkle like starlight.
“Citizens of Ponyville!” the mare called out with pride as her cloak broke apart and fluttered away like a swarm of bats to reveal her wings. “Your Princess of the Night has returned!”
A dramatic flash of lightning gave the gathered ponies a brief fright, but before the alicorn could question this, the crowd let out cheers of delight, many stamping their hooves in applause.
“Princess Luna!” Mayor Mare dashed to the princess as best she could in her floppy clown shoes. “What a surprise this is! To what do we owe the honor?”
“We thought it only fitting that we make our public debut here, Madame Mayor, as Ponyville is the hamlet nearest our restoration and return not half a year previous.” Luna smiled. “We are relieved that our entrance was so well-received, and anticipate taking part in the evening’s festivities.”
“And we are more than happy to have you, your Highness.”
The resultant cheers among the populace seemed to brighten the princess’s expression further, and she gestured upwards to the two thestrals pulling her chariot. They nodded and parked the craft nearby, then freed themselves from their harness and joined their princess. “Lieutenant Nocturne, Sergeant Echo, feel free to take part in the festivities, but remain mindful of yourselves. Dismissed.”
As Luna resumed pleasantries with the mayor, Spike looked at Twilight in surprise. “That’s Luna? Really?”
“Really, Spike.” Twilight smiled at the sight. She’d wondered how the princess was doing since the Summer Sun Celebration, how she’d been adjusting to how things had changed over the last thousand years, and clearly, she had adjusted reasonably well. Granted, she looked somewhat different from how she did previously, but that was hardly…
“Twilight Sparkle!” Luna had noticed the young unicorn and, having finished her pleasantries with the mayor, was now approaching. “We hoped that we would see you during this night’s revels! I must commend thee upon thine costume as well! A very good recreation of Star Swirl the Bearded!”
Awe filled the mare’s eyes. “Really?”
“Verily. The bells in particular are quite accurate.” She looked upon the young drake with some confusion. “Thine costume is also fair, young Spike.”
That prompted him to beam, “Thanks! I’m a dragon!”
Luna was briefly at a loss for words. “Indeed.” She then turned to Twilight and asked, “What of the other bearers of the Elements? Are they not also partaking of the festivities?”
Twilight turned nervous. “Pinkie Pie is leading some of the local colts and fillies in getting candy. You might’ve seen her from your carriage.”
A raised eyebrow. “The overly-large poultry?”
“Yes, that was her. Fluttershy’s staying in tonight, but everypony else is either already taking part or will be before the night’s end. Applejack’s already working on setting up some of the games for tonight.”
“Ah, games! Most excellent!” Luna gained an eager look. “Will you be taking part? May we join you?”
Twilight nodded. “Of course!”
“Excellent! Then we bid thee, kindly lead us there so that we may try them for ourselves!”
-
A fuzzy plush spider soon found itself sticking to a false web as Luna smiled with satisfaction. “’Tis a most enjoyable game, Applejack. Thou are to be commended for the sturdy construction of the netting in particular.”
The farmpony waved a dismissive hoof even as Twilight beamed at her in excitement. “Ain’t no issue, yer Highness. Puttin’ these together is simpler than makin’ applesauce.”
“Perhaps, but we shall not retract our statement.” She moved aside to allow another pony a turn and approached. “And please, such formalities are unnecessary. Thee and thine friends saved us, and by extension all of Equestria. Simply call us ‘Luna’.”
Applejack seemed a little nervous at this, but quickly relented. “Alright then, yer…Luna. Gotta say, yer takin’ to all’a this right nicely.”
“It helps that we heeded the advice of those close to us. Our sister in particular was clear in helping us with our approach, lest we end up taking things to far and frightening the citizenry. Had it not been for that, we would have made extensive use of the Royal Canterlot Voice.”
“Beg your pardon?” Spike asked between bites of candy corn.
“A method of maintaining attention used by myself and my sister in days of old, long out of disuse.” Luna looked about at the festivities, ponies laughing and enjoying themselves, and managed a sad smile. “In truth, we were concerned that regardless of our actions, we would frighten the citizens. ‘Tis pleasing that such was not the case. Our sister’s efforts on our behalf have clearly borne fruit.”
“Ah’m honestly a little surprised by how you look now.” At Twilight’s shocked expression, Applejack retorted, “What? Ah can’t be the only one wonderin’ over that!”
“Do not be outraged on our part, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack’s curiosity is valid.” Luna gestured to herself and explained, “How we appeared when last you saw us was a weakened state, a result of our long imprisonment and the influence of the dark powers we held. In the months since the Summer Sun Celebration, however, we have been regaining our strength and reclaiming our duties as Princess of the Night. Our current form is our true, proper one, which we had before we allowed ourselves to fall from grace and take on the mantle of Nightmare Moon. More intimidating, perhaps, but one hopes that with time, it will be less so in the eyes of the common pony, especially considering we are not quite at full growth.” The princess allowed herself a small grin as she admitted, “And perhaps we can adjust to modern forms of speech as well. We are still becoming accustomed to how language has evolved since our fall from grace.”
Applejack laughed. “Ah’d say yer off to a mighty fine start, Luna.”
“We are most grateful for thine words.” She then turned to Twilight and asked, “But now that thine curiosity has been sated, perhaps thou wouldst be so kind as to return the favor, as the modern parlance goes? Did our sister help thee with thine costume, Twilight Sparkle?”
“No, I actually designed this myself and had Rarity make it based off illustrations of Star Swirl.”
“Really? I am further impressed then with your insight, though I am certain Celestia would have been able to provide more details, given that he instructed us.”
Twilight gasped. “You knew Star Swirl?! He was your teacher?! And Celestia’s?!”
“Indeed, and he was an advisor to us long after we ceased to be under his direct tutelage.” The alicorn frowned. “We are surprised that Celestia never told you this, though given our sister neglected to mention the facts involving us…”
Before that train of thought could go any further, a startled cry sounded from the direction of the tubs of apples waiting to be bobbed for. The apples were now joined by a tiny piebald colt dressed as a pirate, who worked to keep his head above water.
Luna immediately sprang to action and rushed to aid the colt even as Pinkie Pie and her accompanying group of foals arrived. “Anypony seen Pip? We lost him somewhere between here and Fluttershy’s…” She then squawked and cried out, “Nightmare Moon is gobbling Pipsqueak! Everypony run!”
The foals with her screamed, and Pipsqueak, now freed from his watery predicament, struggled in Luna’s grip as she held him by the scruff of his neck. “Help! My backside has been gobbled!”
The princess dropped him in shock, then stepped back as the colt fled to rejoin Pinkie and her charges. “Wait, please children! There was no gobbling of…!” Her face fell. “…backsides.”
“Oh dear.” Twilight and Applejack turned to find that Rarity had joined them at last, adorned in a close-fitted Eastern-style outfit colored in varying shades of blue and false ears over her own and her mane restyled to stick out behind her. “I get the feeling I missed a great deal whilst fretting over my costume.”
“All that was missed, fair Rarity, was wasted effort on our part.” Luna rose and quietly made her way from the crowd, pausing only to note, “A commendable effort at Mistmane, by the way,” before she continued on.
Applejack groaned as the princess went out of earshot. “An’ things were goin’ so well! What was Pinkie thinkin’?”
Twilight’s gaze narrowed as she went after Pinkie and her herd of foals. “Good question.”
-
Pinkie and the foals continued to flee through the streets, making their way into an alleyway. Eventually, however, they discovered that they weren’t making much traction through the alley…or really any at all as they were floating in mid-air, their legs flailing below them.
Pinkie’s screaming halted, and she immediately started giggling. “This is fun!”
“Enjoy it while it lasts.” Twilight came marching up beneath them, her horn glowing brightly as she maintained her levitation spell. “Pinkie Pie, why are you acting like that?!”
“Well I thought that getting away from Nightmare Moon…”
“Pinkie, that wasn’t Nightmare Moon! That was Princess Luna! Nightmare Moon is gone! Destroyed! Vanquished!”
Pinkie stared at Twilight for a moment. “Well duh. I know that, Twilight. I was there, remember?”
“The way you’ve been acting tonight, I should be asking you that question.” She released Pinkie from her magic and let her drop to the ground with a thud. “Seriously Pinkie, what were you thinking?”
The party pony grinned. “I was thinking that I was having fun, and so were all the little foals!” The foals nodded in agreement.
“Well Princess Luna wasn’t.” Twilight groaned. “Pinkie, Luna spent a thousand years trapped within herself, a prisoner of Nightmare Moon. For a thousand years, legends grew around her moment of weakness that turned her into a monster that would take away the sun or gobble up children or…all sorts of other horrible things! Do you think she likes being reminded of all that? Would you like being reminded of all of that?!”
“Well no, of course…!” Pinkie paused, and the implications clicked into place. “Oh.” Her tail fell limp.
“Honestly Pinkie, Luna was having a good evening, enjoying herself, having fun, and then you came along and ruined it. It’s just a miracle that things weren’t any worse, or she might end up cancelling Nightmare Night.”
“Cancel Nightmare Night?” whimpered Pipsqueak.
Twilight suddenly realized that she’d gone a little too far, and gently lowered the foals to the ground. “Okay, she probably wouldn’t go nearly that far, but still, her feelings have been hurt, and she hasn’t done anything to deserve it.” The unicorn turned to her friend and frowned. “Now what do we do?”
“Find Luna and say we’re really sorry.”
Twilight nodded at Pinkie’s somber statement. “At minimum.”
-
It took very little time for Twilight to lead the humbled and remorseful group to Luna, despite the fact that she had retreated from the festivities to the Nightmare Moon statue. She sat before it with her head bowed, symbolically in the statue’s shadow.
“Princess Luna?” Pinkie Pie approached the alicorn with her head hung low, and softly laid her treat bag at the ground. “I’m really sorry about tonight.”
“We all are, your Highness.” Pipsqueak laid his bag beside Pinkie’s as the rest of the foals did likewise. “Please don’t cancel Nightmare Night because of what we did.”
“Cancel Nightmare Night?” Luna turned to face them, but her expression was not one of anger, or even disappointment. There was hurt there, yes, but surprise was dominant. “Nay children, that shall not happen.” She took up the foals’ bags and returned them to their owners. “Our place is not to grant unjust punishments, especially to those whose only sins are being caught up in their own enthusiasm, as well as that of others. Besides, you have already made thine offerings, and it would be wrong to claim more than has already been given.” Her attention turned to Pinkie Pie as her tone became more negative. “As for thee, Pinkie Pie, we are disappointed with thine actions. Wouldst thou like to explain thyself?”
“It was a joke,” the party pony meekly answered. “I thought you were playing along with it.”
“Well thine suppositions were inaccurate.” Luna gestured to the statue behind her and sadly noted, “We take no pleasure in being reminded of our mistakes, or in the damage wrought by them. We admit that we sought to create spectacle in keeping with the spirit of this holiday, but our intention was never to harm or frighten others. We have done enough of that.”
“But I thought Nightmare Moon was the bad one, not you,” Pipsqueak interjected.
Luna sighed. “It is…complicated.” Luna sat down again and explained, “A thousand years ago, I allowed myself to become resentful of my sister and the adoration she received from our subjects. That resentment festered in me, and allowed me to become vulnerable to the manipulations of a force of dark magic more terrible than any other. It consumed me, and the result…” She gestured towards the statue behind her. “Some would argue that I am in no way responsible for the actions of Nightmare Moon, but I disagree. I allowed that dark force to join with me in a moment of weakness, and left all of Equestria and its citizens victimized. That I was its first victim does not mitigate it.” She turned back to the group and explained, “And to make matters worse, this night is the anniversary of that terrible day one thousand years past. The holiday would come soon thereafter as a memorial of my loss, its traditions crafted over time and many influences, and now it was hoped that it would be a celebration of my return and the nightmare’s end. To imply even in jest that I would seek to encourage further terror is harmful.” She turned her attention on Pinkie Pie and added, “Though it appears you have realized this by now.”
Pinkie nodded.
“And we shall accept your apology, but recompense shall still be required.” The last treat bag was returned, and Pinkie looked up at the princess as she continued, “In a fortnight’s time, we shall be hosting a fete for the members of the Lunar Guard, in thanks for their devotion to our memory. It was our intent to place an order with thine employers to cater the event. This has not changed, but we shall make it conditional that thee shall complete the order thineself, without assistance from the Cakes or any of thine friends. Is this understood?”
Another nod. “Yes ma’am, but what’s a fortnight?”
“Two weeks,” Twilight helpfully translated.
“Oh.” Pinkie put on a hopeful smile as her mane and tail regained some of their curls. “I guess I can manage that.”
“We shall hold thee to thine word.” Luna took the mare into a gentle hug and added, “But we are confident that thou shall be successful.” The embrace ended and she rose to her hooves. “Now come, all of you! We’ve still festivities yet to enjoy!”
That seemed enough to bolster Pinkie’s spirits, and she led the foals back to town. Twilight and Luna followed behind as the unicorn admitted, “You handled that very well, Luna.”
“We were taught long ago that a gentle touch is often more effective than a harsh one, young Twilight, especially with those who are repentant. T’was true then, and remains so now, as I was reminded not six months ago.” The princess smiled and continued, “I and my sister will long be in your debt for what you have done for us personally and for Equestria as a whole, and that shall not change anytime soon.”
Twilight managed a nervous laugh. “Well, I don’t expect anything for what I’ve done, but if I could ask you something.” At her princess’s curious expression, she prodded, “What was Star Swirl like? In pony, I mean?”
Luna laughed. “He tended to be a harsh taskmaster, and there were often times where it felt as though he favored my sister over I. Still, he was a gifted mage, and I do have fond memories of him.” She turned wistful as she noted, “That he vanished shortly after I was consumed and banished does not sit well with me. I have not even found time to look into the mystery, I have been so busy attempting to acclimate to the modern era.”
An encouraging smile crossed the mare’s face. “Well, I’m sure that you’ll find the time somewhere down the road.”
“Or perhaps another will solve the mystery. Time will tell, as it always does.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.018 seconds
Total duration
624 users online
823,917 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I enjoyed this. It made for a really nice alternate version of Luna's first real encounter with Fluttershy.
Thanks for the early Halloween treat, it's appreciated. ^_^
Superb work on this latest installment. I adored the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I REALLY loved Luna's chat with Fluttershy (including Luna ALREADY knowing to lower her voice when speaking to Fluttershy and Fluttershy's reaction to Luna's true form. Too bad Pinkie had to mess it up. I mean, seriously? It's one thing to be playing jokes like that when you KNOW they can take it and/or they're being big enough jerks to deserve it. However, NEITHER applies here.
At any rate, VERY definitely looking forward to your next installment.
9915974
Not a problem at all. I just hope the next time I release something seasonal, I don't put it out early. At least, not too early.
9916340
Honestly, I love Pinkie, but sometimes her enthusiasm gets the best of her. Thankfully, in this version at least, she eventually figures out that she done goofed.
Sorry, but this one just doesn't work. First of all, the whole reason that Twilight and Luna went to see Fluttershy in the first place was because Luna couldn't turn off the royal capslock, and she herself admitted it. So unless Luna outright lied to Twilight there (which she had no reason to do), the two being here makes no sense. And having Luna be able to control herself makes her behavior in her initial entry to Ponyville a lot less easy to swallow, especially given the differences between canon Nightmare Night and the Quiververse version (more below). If, on the other hand, her entry went differently (which the story gives no indication of being the case), then that makes the crowd's reactions to her even worse than they would be otherwise, which are already worse in context than they are in canon.
Which brings me to my other main issue with this vignette - that the episode had a lot of legitimate issues that weren't addressed, and that are even worse in the context of the Quiververse. At least in canon, the ponies' initial fear of Luna made sense. After all, in canon she had been scrubbed from history aside from the legends of Nightmare Moon, and the holiday - at least in its modern form - arose from that understanding. One could point to the warm reception Luna received at the end of the series premiere as a contradiction, but keep in mind that as far as the common pony knew, Luna could very well have just been a brainwashed Nightmare Moon*, and it's not inconceivable that some of them would fear a possible return. However, in Six Nights, it was established that in the Quiververse, Luna was named in the Nightmare Night legends as one of Nightmare Moon's victims. If Luna had been connected to the celebrations at all, it would have been mourning her demise. Because of this, Quiververse Luna had every reason to expect that, now that she was back, the holiday would shift focus to celebrating her return, and the fact that instead shifted to treating her as if she were still Nightmare Moon is an even greater insult to her, since the canon ponies didn't know any better.
And, of course, there's the issue of Pinkie. I know that it's been established in the Quiververse that Pinkie eventually learns her lesson. Okay... but then what? What consequences does Pinkie face for sabotaging Luna's efforts to be accepted? What has she done to make up for it? I haven't seen any signs that Pinkie faced any consequences for her actions, and the closest thing I could think of for repayment would be the mention in AMPiaB about Pinkie teaching Luna how to help others relax around her, but that isn't remotely good enough. In fact, it's the opposite of repayment. Luna would have succeeded on her own in getting others to accept her once Twilight and AJ pointed her in the right direction if it weren't for Pinkie sabotaging her. And the repayment was... making Luna be less like herself and more like the one responsible for her renewed rejection, then make her try to rebuild her reputation on her own again!? And starting it off by tormenting her even further!? That's not making amends, that's salting the wound! Pinkie should have been busting her plot to fix Luna's reputation herself, not force her victim to fix the mess she caused after making things even worse! And how would Pinkie have learned that she hurt Luna anyway? We don't have any later scene to point to, and if this vignette is indeed the only change to this episode, we still have the "Pinkie Pie, you're a genius!" moment from Twilight, so she would have no inkling that she did anything wrong from that. Speaking of which, Twilight's actions there are another example of something already bad being made even worse in the Quiververse. Already Twilight was praising Pinkie for something that was obviously causing Luna a great deal of pain, and her solution to getting Luna to be accepted was essentially to not be herself but to live down to others' expectations of her. But now put this into the perspective of how much more of an insult to Luna the episode's events are in the Quiververse than in canon. Even in canon, what Twilight should have done would be something along the lines of dragging Pinkie over to where Luna was crying and demanding Pinkie to tell her with a straight face that Luna was having fun. But her praising Pinkie in the Quiververse is even worse. Then again, at that point Twilight wasn't trying to help Luna anymore, but trying to get her to lift the ban on Nightmare Night after lecturing her into doing so didn't work.
So unfortunately, I cannot give my support to this one. If it were but a small portion of a full rewrite of the episode, it might have been good, but as a stand-alone vignette, it just adds plot holes while fixing nothing.
*An interpretation that is disturbingly plausible in canon
9916558
Seems I'm the victim of my own critique with the showrunners - I didn't think things through. Guess this one needs a rewrite.
Thank you for this bit here! Thank you so much! I get the desire to correct some unfortunate bits from canon, but really, a lot of 'fix-fics' tend to leave me cold with how they choose to handle addressing the failings of the original material. I remember this one awful fic based on Luna Eclipsed that involved the whole town shunning Pinkie for her actions towards Luna - yeah, Pinkie did something really stupid and insensitive, but that degree of ostracizing is just outlandish and pointlessly cruel. *shakes head*
So yeah, I really enjoyed this Vignette. It was sweet, and thoughtful, and just very pleasant.
9930585
I do my best. And as much as I want the characters to acknowledge their flaws and work on improving them, I don't believe in being needlessly harsh. Pinkie was being obnoxious, but she wasn't being deliberately cruel. I imagine if someone in the show had simply pointed out, "Pinkie, X isn't having fun," she'd have realized she was screwing up in a second.
And that doesn't just go for Luna Eclipsed either. Something tells me that would've helped to curb the worst of Pinkie's behavior in other episodes too.
Well, I have to say this IS a really good alteration to this chapter. LOVED Luna's admissions to her past mistakes as well as Pinkie's admission to her own mess-up and the foreshadowing to the Season 7 finale.
All in all, excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up in all the right places.
9930930
Thank you. And it might just be foreshadowing other things. Time will tell.