Season One, Part One

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“So a few years ago, I find myself willed into existence. It’s kinda interesting, y’know? One second, I don’t exist, the next, I do. Not that I’m complaining, of course, existing is a lot better than not existing, but anyway, someone wanted to tell a story, and I was created as part of that story.” Quiver Quill rolled his eyes as he lifted a cup of juice. “At first, it was just going to be the one, but let me tell you, even the worst writers never have just one idea. And after I came along, more ideas came and one thing led to another.” He smiled and added, “Again, not complaining.”

“…Time went on, and… and this just goes on forever, doesn’t it? Where’s the dialogue? Where’s the action? This is all ‘mope, mope, woe is me, whiny emo’ crap and…”

“Cut!”

“And he could see it now, hear it now, the other ponies there laughing at him for his tears and his sorrow, his supervisors shaking their heads, and someone finally coming to him and telling him that he wouldn’t be an embarrassment to Amazing Booksellers anymore and…”

“Sir, are you alright?”

“Oh finally, almost fifteen hundred words in before we get some actual dialogue…”

As Twilight looked up with mild annoyance, the director’s voice yelled, “Cut!”

“It would take time, but Quiver Quill found himself back at work, both at Amazing Booksellers and on his prose, spurred on by their encouragement and hoping that someday, he’d meet them again. After all, they’d shown him kindness, and if there was one thing he’d wanted most, it was friends.” A pause, and the narrator remarked, “And if there’s one thing that I want, it’s to never do this again.”

As the narrator stomped out in a very loud and clear manner, Quiver looked to the production crew and remarked, “Yeah, I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“I’ve had nothing but surprises being a part of this series.” Sunset Shimmer leaned back in her chair as she amended, “Don’t get me wrong, these are nice surprises. I mean, I’m getting the chance to stretch my legs a little and do things that won’t happen in the animation, but still, surprises. I went into that first story with me thinking it’d be a one-shot and that would be that, but then we found out that my story and the first one the writer did would be part of the same storyline, and that I’d have more stories…” She laughed and added, “And don’t even get me started on how the comics ended up lending credence to our plot device.” A sigh as she laid her hands together in her lap. “Now if only I could get a little more of what I got in this in the official stuff.”

“…and action!”

“MAGIC POR–oof!” Pinkie Pie stumbled and fell forward as she burst through the portal into the bridge realm, and landed hard on her face. “Owww, my boobs!”

“Cut!”

“You’re not gonna find a single one of us who doesn’t think doing this series has been a lot of fun.”

“I’ll second that!” The pink-haired human took on an embarrassed smile as she admitted, “Even if I flubbed it a little here and there.”

“Aww.” Pinkie Pie patted her human counterpart upon the shoulder. “It’s okay, Pinkie. I flub sometimes too. But at least we can laugh about it, right?”

A smile broke out upon the girl’s face. “Yeah, we can.”

“MAGIC POR-ohohwhoa!” Pinkie Pie stumbled again, this time slipping backwards and falling onto her rear end. “Owww, right in the padding!”

“Cut!”

“MAGIC PORTAL!” Pinkie Pie made a perfect landing and beamed gleefully, before she blinked and remarked, “Shoot, I forgot my line.”

“Cut!”

“I was as surprised as anypony that my solo story got moved up in the production schedule.” Sunrunner leaned back in her chair as she shook her head. “Just as surprised that we ended up going back for reshoots. They weren’t a bad thing, though. The story got a lot better, and the way the second version ended up actually opened a lot more story possibilities for me.” She sighed as she studied the drink in her hoof. “Now if only I could get another solo story out.”

“But with all due respect, ma’am, we don’t have anything more to talk about.” Sunrunner then took hold of the forms in her teeth and attempted to rip them to shreds, only to find the paper refusing to budge.

Spitfire smirked and asked, “You sure you want to quit?”

The flame-maned mare spat out the forms and asked, “What kind of paper is this, the sort that they use for phone books?”

“It’s been an absolutely fabulous time during production, and a complete treat as well.” Rarity looked to the elegant unicorn at her side and remarked, “After all, I rarely get the chance to work with so brilliant a mare as this.”

A well-manicured hoof was dismissively waved towards her. “Oh hush, dear, you’re no slouch in terms of fabulousness yourself.” She then turned back to the interviewer and noted, “I will admit, however, to being a little frustrated at the odd reshoot, particularly with ‘Six Nights’. We went through all the trouble of learning our lines for that final part, and lo and behold, the whole thing gets redone. I just hope that we can salvage it somewhere.”

“Well, something of that sort did happen, dear.” Rarity turned thoughtful and noted, “At least, I hope so.”

“So aside from the jacket and backpack, you’ve been without any connection to your home for the last thirty months.” Rarity wrapped an arm around the girl. “I’m sorry, darling.”

Sunset smiled and picked up her backpack. “Well, I didn’t lose everything. I brought a lot of crap with me.” She opened it and revealed a number of items. “I brought these…” She fished out a number of sparkling gemstones and dropped them into the other girl’s lap. “…And these…” She pulled out several books and put them at her side. “And…” She pulled out something large, fluffy, pink and warm, and jaw-dropped in surprise. “How’d you get in there?”

Fluffle Puff simply blinked her big blue pony eyes and remarked, “Pftthpbt.”

“Honestly, I don’t see the appeal of this series in the slightest.” As Fluffle Puff lapped at a cup of milk beside her, Queen Chrysalis glowered and continued, “It doesn’t even have me in it. Not yet, anyway. I get the feeling the only reason the two of us are here is just to assuage my ego.”

“Pftthpbt?”

The changeling queen gave her fluffy friend a pat upon her head. “I’m sure the author likes you, Fluffles. It’s me he has issues with.” She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, doesn’t he know talent when he sees it?” She then sighed and noted, “Anyway, I know that he’ll get to me eventually, but something tells me he won’t do me justice.” A fanged grin appeared upon her face. “His problem, not mine.”

The instant she’d stepped into the small house’s kitchen, hoping to make herself a quiet cup of tea, she froze, her eyes locked on Pinkie’s older sister. Maud noticed her and turned, a blank expression on her face and a very large, very sharp knife in one hand.

“Someone break in?” Sunset casually asked.

“No, I just like holding up knives like this,” Maud droned in response.

Pinkie’s head immediately emerged from a cabinet as she sang, “ER-LIE IN THA’ MOR-NING!”

“Tell ya’ll the truth, Ah was glad ta know this storyline was continuin’, even if it meant Ah’d still pretty much be stuck in the background.” The orange pony gestured towards the human beside her and noted, “Kinda feels like this one gets more attention than Ah do, if’n you know what Ah mean.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Very funny comin’ from a gal who was childhood friends with a pop star.” The two shared a teasing grin before the human farmgirl continued, “Still, we seem to be able to do stuff that the animation ain’t, for one reason or another. Fer the life a’ me, Ah still can’t picture what Sunset’s place looks like in the series proper.”

“They’ll get to it when they need to, darlin’.” The pony smirked and noted, “Jes’ ask mah kinfolk.”

The two were greeted to the sight of Sunset kneeling down on the ground, laughing heartily as a large black dog gleefully licked at her face. She turned away and laughed, “Hi girls! Give me a second, I’ve got an oversized puppy here who isn’t quite…whoa!” As Fluttershy and Applejack did their best to stifle their laughter, Sunset lost her balance and sprawled out on her back as the dog continued to lick at her unhindered. Despite this, she couldn’t help but laugh. “Someone get a changeling, they’re missing the buffet!”

“Cut!”

“It’s actually kinda nice to be able to take a step back and let others have the spotlight a little.” Spike at her side, Twilight had a relaxed look on her face as she admitted, “Not every story has to be about me, thankfully.”

“At least the stories about you are actually pretty good.” The dragon took a second to grouse, “And you don’t turn into a dog for some of them.”

The alicorn smirked. “You just miss the belly rubs.”

“No!” The protest subsided slightly as he added, “Maybe, a little…”

She hugged him and added, “Regardless, I’ve got a hard time seeing a story where Spike isn’t with me. It’s less fun that way, and besides, someone has to show him how things are done.”

“Okay, explain it to me again.”

Twilight Sparkle laughed as she gestured upwards with a hoof, her wings drawn tight against her sides. “Tonight’s lunar phase is called a ‘waxing crescent’. Sometime next week, it’ll be a half-moon, and then it’ll phase into a ‘waxing gibbon’, and then…” She then realized her mistake and laughed. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Let me try it again!”

The little dragon snorted and cackled, “Now that’s an image for you!”

“I’m actually glad for the role I’ve gotten in this storyline.” Seventh Moon actually looked comfortable as he sipped from a bottle of water, slight hints of a smile upon his grey muzzle. “In the comics themselves I’m little more than a cameo, an Easter egg for the fans that Mr. Price likes to sneak in when he can. I only got dialogue because a script came up short. I didn’t even get a proper name. But the wonderful thing about fanfiction is that a writer can take something small and build upon it.” The smile grew bigger as he added, “And if I show up once, statistically, I stand a good chance of showing up again.”

An elegant mare strode past behind him, her curly mane bouncing with each step as she teasingly remarked, “Spoilers.”

Her friends’ murmurs of agreement ended as the stallion spoke. “I have been watching you and your friends’ exploits for some time, Twilight Sparkle.” The stallion removed his hat and bowed politely. “My name is Seventh Moon. I am a reference to another franchise dealing with alternate universes.” He replaced his hat and then pulled out a notepad and pen from his suit. “I’m also a fan. Can I have an autograph?”

“In some ways, I think this storyline has been very good for us.”

The alicorn princess looked to her human counterpart and raised an eyebrow. “Some? It’s been very good for us. I’ve actually had some time on-screen to show proper relationships with Luna, Twilight and Sunset, I’ve had development, my flaws are actually addressed, and I get to do more than get beaten down to show how powerful the new threat is.” She smiled and added, “And you haven’t fared too badly either.”

“Aside from being a prime example of Adults Are Useless, you mean,” Celestia sardonically replied.

The alicorn paused at that. “Ah. True. You’re probably going to see some trouble for that.”

At least, initially, as a knock sounded from her door. It creaked open as she went to answer it, and she smiled with relief as she looked upon her visitor. “Hello Principal Celestia.”

“You don’t need to call me by my title off school grounds, Sunset.” Celestia smiled warmly in turn, then looked a bit disappointed. “I suppose it was a little too much to hope that you’d…” She stopped as she felt something bump into the top of her head.

She looked up to find a boom mike being hurriedly moved back up as a voice called, “Sorry, my bad!”

She cracked a smirk in response and asked, “Are you sure it isn’t my fault for being so damn tall?”

Sunset visibly fought to keep from laughing as the director yelled “Cut!”

“Well, it was only natural that I ended up finding myself involved in this storyline, given the events we’ve adapted and that we’re going to adapt.” Discord paused. “Oh, I’m sorry, was that a spoiler? I thought it was fairly obvious what we were going to do, given everything with the Tree. Different path, of course, but roughly the same destination. And who knows? I might get up to a little fun along the way.”

“Girls, look!” Terror clear in her green eyes, Roseluck pointed skywards with a hoof and declared what was already clear as day, “The sun and moon are out at the same time! It’s day and night!”

“Worse!” Lily Valley directed their attention to another problem in the sky. “There are nasty-looking black clouds in the sky!” A flight of pegasi attempted to beat the clouds off, only to be pelted with lightning bolts or find themselves caught on the clouds’ thorn-like spikes. “And the Weather Team can’t get rid of them!”

“Even worse!” Flower Wishes, or Daisy as she was more commonly known, turned their attention earthward as thorny black vines sprouted up from the ground all around them. “We’re giving this horribly clumsy exposition, and I forgot my line! The horror! THE HORROR!”

“I like the fact that we’ve gotten some sweet moments so far in the storyline.” Fluttershy paused from cuddling with her pegasus counterpart and noted, “At least, I think that I’ve gotten some sweet moments.”

“Oh, we’ve definitely gotten some sweet moments. And thankfully, there were plenty of others to go around.” The pegasus smiled happily and added, “And more to come.”

It didn’t take long for her to find the source of the cries. A mess of books and party supplies and even the odd pet toy strewn on the floor before him was a stallion, closer in age to her brother Shining Armor than her, with a light tan coat and a slightly messy brown mane. He’d collapsed to the ground, a cart between him and the shelving unit suggesting some accident, but that wasn’t what caught Twilight’s attention the most about the scene. It was the fact that the stallion, while showing no sign of physical injury, was in the midst of tears, a sight that prompted further concern. She wasn’t sure what she could do to help as she approached the stallion, but she’d do her best. “Sir, are you alright?”

The stallion stopped, and looked up at her with deep brown eyes, surprise clear in them but quickly overtaken by sorrow as he sobbed an answer. “No! I’m not alright! I’m a failure! A screw up! I can’t do a single…!”

Quiver was interrupted as a familiar fluffy pink pony popped out of the bin behind him, took one look at him, gasped, and then pulled him into a warm hug. He then grinned like an idiot and hugged her back.

“So warm and snuggly…”

A warm grin formed on Twilight’s face as she cooed at the sight. “Awww…”

“This series has been an absolute joy for both of us!” The Princess of the Night gleefully hugged her human counterpart as she elaborated, “Not only am I seeing logical development based upon the animation, but thanks to this, we can retcon away the worst implications of my counterpart’s portrayal.”

Luna sighed. “I would have had to have been a massive idiot to not see Sunset’s ploy for what it was in the first film. Thanks to the events of this series, I come across as a bit less useless. As I should be.” She turned glum and added, “Celestia, unfortunately…”

The alicorn gently shook her head. “No story is perfect, alas.”

“About anything in particular?” The pale blue girl strode forward with a smirk. “Certain MyStable posts, perhaps?”

“I had nothing…”

“Oh spare me!” Trixie dramatically pointed a finger into Sunset’s direction, only to sharply connect with the other girl’s nose. As Sunset pulled back in surprise, the blue girl gasped. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t scratch you, did I?”

“Cut!”

“Okay, honest truth, but I don’t think any of us was really happy with how things went with that holiday story.”

“You kidding?” The pegasus at her side was animated as she elaborated, “That thing was a small train wreck! We might’ve screwed up in the series, yeah, but at least the screw ups weren’t as forced!”

Rainbow Dash moved back into a comfortable position as she continued, “Anyway, I’m just glad a few extra scenes were added in to help tone things down. Plus the next story helped to patch things over.”

“You guys taking Sunset out to eat after you did that bit where you all turned on her was a good thing too.”

“Yeah, but something tells me that won’t be the end of it.”

“Alright then, first question! Name me one of Newton’s Three Laws of Motion!” A hand shot up from each student, and he called out, “Mister Snipsy-Snap again!”

“An object in motion will stay in motion unless it’s acted upon by an outside force!”

“Correctamundo! One down, nineteen to go! And another, Mister…Snailsquirm!” He made an expression that made obvious his disbelief at Snails’ name and asked, “Who comes up with these names, lawyers?”

“One good thing about appearing in this series is that I actually get to be a character, y’know?”

“Dude, compared to me, you already were a character.” The orange pegasus groaned. “I get a couple cameos in the series, but you at least show up in each of the movies. Plus you got toys.”

Flash Sentry sighed. “That’s what I get for being a male character in a show geared towards little girls.” He straightened up and added, “Still, even compared to the animation, I get more to do. I actually feel like a part of the story, instead of just someone the story happens to.”

“Kinda wish we hadn’t gotten a crappy backstory though.”

“Hey, it got better! And it fits with our characterization thus far, so it’s not like it’s right out of left field, right?” Flash looked to the interviewer and asked, “Right?”

Fluttershy then squeaked in surprise as she felt a warm embrace about her. She looked to find that Doctor Hope had given her the hug. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…”

“BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!”

The director’s voice was clearly furious as he shouted, “Pinkie Pie!”

“I’ll be the first to admit, I wasn’t happy about getting left out of the movie.” Shining Armor sat beside his wife as he continued, “I mean, yeah, I understand that it was Twilight’s movie, but I could have at least put in a token appearance.”

“Really, Shiny?” Cadance put on a teasing grin. “You just wish that you’d been there to glare at Flash.”

“I wouldn’t have glared at him.” The red in the stallion’s face suggested otherwise, though he quickly cooled down. “Anyway, me showing up in-story lampshading things did help, and I’m looking forward to popping up in the future.” He rolled his eyes and noted, “Even if all I’m going to do is get Worfed.”

The alicorn gently punched her husband. “I go through that too, remember?”

“Yeah, but you still get to be amazing anyway.”

A grin formed on Cadance’s face as she nuzzled her husband. “Charmer.”

Fluttershy looked up in terror and whispered, “What did we do? What can we–?”

“SUNSET!” Attention turned to Pinkie Pie as she screamed, “SUNSET! YOU WERE THE GREATEST MARE I EVER KNEW! YOU WILL BE AVENGED! I WILL ASSEMBLE THE AVENGERS, AND THEN YOU WILL BE AVENGED!”

“Pinkie, she’s not dead!” A beat, and Rainbow Dash added, “And that’s not how the quote goes!”

“Well it’s how it should’ve gone! It would’ve been funnier that way!”

“Really, I’m just glad us background ponies are getting equal billing to the regulars in this. It’s always nice to know that you’re loved.” Derpy grinned and waved to the camera as she finished, “So thanks everyone! See you again soon!”

Q&A, Part One

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The vast soundstage reverberated with the sounds of friendly chatter and pleased laughter from those gathered within it, familiar ponies and humans grouped together on a number of chairs, cushions and the odd sofa. Just apart from all of them with a bottle of water held in one arm of his folding chair was Quiver Quill. He took a second to look over a number of cards on a nearby music stand before calling out, “Okay everyone, we ready to get this Q and A session underway?”

A general chorus of agreement rang out, with the human and pony versions of Rainbow Dash being especially vocal. “Bring it!”

“Oh, I’m almost literally beside myself with excitement!” The two Rarities giggled to themselves at the mare’s remark before she prompted, “Come along, darling, let’s start these questions off.”

“Alright then!” The stallion looked to the stand and began reading. “This first batch of questions comes from Final Legend Zero, and is primarily for the ponies among us. First one is for the Ponyville branch of the Apple family. ‘Back in Season 2 of the show, it was established that, in addition to apple trees, you also grow corn on your farm. Is that also a cash crop for you, or is it for your own consumption?'”

“Dang, we got us an easy one.” As her siblings laughed amongst themselves, Applejack sat up and answered, “We grow plenty a’ things at Sweet Apple Acres aside from apples, corn included. They ain’t a cash crop, though. They’re mostly fer our eatin’ and fer the livestock we raise, the pigs ‘n chickens.”

“Mostly the chickens, though.” Granny Smith smoothly rocked back and forth in her chair as she noted, “Pigs’ll eat jes’ about anythin’, after all. Still, ah’ll be the first ta’ admit, we don’t eat apples and nuthin’ but apples. We’d get sick of ‘em otherwise.”

Quiver managed a shrug. “Sounds about right, if you consider my dad’s cooking.” He then shuffled through the sheets and noted, “Next are questions for Rainbow Dash.”

The prismatic-maned pegasus cackled gleefully. “Awesome! Lay ‘em on me!”

“First he asks, ‘Just how fast do you need to fly in order to trigger a Sonic Rainboom? And is pulling it off a matter of pure speed, or is there some magical component to it?'”

“Oh yeah.” She turned nervous and admitted, “Tell you the truth, I really don’t know all the eggheady stuff for that. Twilight did some work on it and tried to explain it, but it kinda went over my head. I definitely broke the sound barrier when I did it, though.”

“Based on my math, the minimum threshold for a Sonic Rainboom is Mach One; you can see a Mach cone form whenever she pulls one off. But there’s a lot more to it than just sheer speed; there’s a magical component to it as well.” Twilight looked to Rainbow Dash and noted, “I like to think that you being able to do it is tied into your status as the bearer of the Element of Loyalty, considering the first two times you performed it were for the sake of your friends rather than yourself. Otherwise, the Wonderbolts would be pulling them off at every show they put on instead of just talking about them in the handbook.”

“Considering recent experiences, loyalty might well be in short supply with their organization.” Rarity regarded her hooves with mixed feelings as she remarked, “A shame the same doesn’t go for glass jaws.”

Sunrunner politely hid her muzzle at that remark as Quiver continued, “Last question for Dash. ‘Also, if it isn’t too much of a sore spot for you, could you share whether there was any fallout over…’” He narrowed his eyes as he gazed upon his friends and finished, “‘…over the Mare-Do-Well incident that we didn’t see in the episode?'”

The collected bearers all looked horribly sheepish at that question, though Dash looked the least sheepish. “Yeah, not a good moment for any of us.” She tried her best to look as small as possible as she noted, “I mean, yeah, I was getting a big head, I get that…”

“But that hardly changes the fact that the actions taken were beyond the pale.” Luna regarded one hoof and noted, “I’m afraid that we cannot elaborate too much, as there are spoilers involved, but suffice it to say that there have been some repercussions for that incident which have yet to be explored.”

“And that it’s taken a while for most of the hurt to go away.” The pegasus shrugged. “And a lot of other things happening besides.”

“Well, here’s hoping history doesn’t repeat.” Quiver went to the next question. “Okay, moving on. Questions for Pinkie Pie.” The party pony turned gleeful as he continued, “Okay, first one. ‘Since it’s been established that sixth senses run in your family, can anyone else in your family also see past the fourth wall, or is it just you?’”

“Oh, it’s just me and my sisters, but I think I’m the one who gets the most use out of hers. Limestone only really gets hers triggered whenever somepony does something on the farm she doesn’t approve of, and Maud’s tends to apply whenever any of us gets hurt or put in immediate danger.” She rubbed her chin and noted, “Marble’s, though…well, she kinda promised me not to talk about it until she was ready.”

Quiver nodded. “Moving onto the second question then. ‘Regarding your party cave, is the slide the only way in or out? Or is there an alternate way out for anyone who might accidentally stumble upon it and lack your physics-defying capabilities?’”

“Oh, there’s definitely an alternate way in and out!” Pinkie grinned as she held up a set of blueprints depicting Sugar Cube Corner and pointed to the section marked ‘Party Cave’. “Y’see, when I put the party cave together, I carved it out from beneath the building’s already-existing storm cellar! There’s a small, out-of-the-way staircase leading up to the cellar proper, and that in turn has a staircase leading up into Sugar Cube Corner!” She looked to her friends and noted, “I gotta show it to you guys before too long, just in case I need help with a future party.”

“Nice feat of engineering there, Pinkie.”

A shrug. “I might not be a rock farmer by trade, but I know a thing or two about reinforcing a foundation. Plus I consulted a few ponies who worked in construction.”

“Works for me.” Quiver grinned as he went on to the next question. “Alright, these next questions are for Fluttershy.”

“Me?” The yellow pegasus took a nervous gulp before straightening herself out. “Okay, I think I can answer a few questions.”

“Take your time.” The stallion’s gaze moved to the question before him as he read it aloud. “‘First, something that’s bugged me since Season 1. I know that your job involves taking care of animals. But what, exactly, is your job? What is it you do that you’re being paid for, and who is it that’s paying you?’”

“Oh!” Suddenly much more at ease, Fluttershy smiled and explained, “Well, the town officially has me on staff as a wildlife conservation officer. Not only am I helping to conserve local habitats for the ponies in Ponyville, but I also get to look after the local animal populations and aid other creatures, both sapient and non-sapient. It’s a big job, but I enjoy it.” She beamed and giggled as she added, “And being able to talk to all the cute little critters helps so much.”

“That’s also why Fluttershy was the one in charge when the Breezies passed through Ponyville.” Twilight paused. “Will pass through Ponyville.” She frowned and slumped. “I hate it when I have tense trouble.”

A light laugh echoed around the group before Quiver continued, “Alright, we’ve still got more for Fluttershy here. ‘On a different note, since the show is quite inconsistent regarding the details, I have some questions about your Stare. First, what exactly is it? Is it just a very intimidating glare, or is there some mind control component to it? If the latter, then does it work on sapient creatures? And is it completely involuntary, or are you able to use it at will? Or is it that you can only use it in certain scenarios, but you control whether you use it in said scenarios?'”

“Oh dear…” Her anxieties came right back to the surface as Fluttershy considered her answer. “Truthfully, I don’t know the full truth about my Stare. I only really came to be aware of it as I got older and gained more confidence in myself, specifically after I received my Cutie Mark. The closest I’ve ever found to a non-unicorn or non-alicorn performing something like it are some old stories about thestrals.”

“There are tales of old where thestrals are said to have hypnotic powers,” Luna explained. “There is truth to the myths, but such powers are rare; I’ve yet to meet a thestral with such talents in the modern era, with Fluttershy coming closest to what the stories describe.”

“It works by triggering a fear response in those who experience it, at least with non-sapient creatures. With fully sapient ones, it triggers a guilt response, usually in combination with what I say. It’s not completely involuntary, but whether or not I can use it depends entirely upon my mental state at the time. It takes a fair amount of willpower to use successfully, and even then, it can fail if the creature isn’t sufficiently frightened or the sapient being has no sense of guilt for their actions.” She quietly amended, “That’s why it didn’t work on Discord at first. No guilt for his actions. But he’s getting better about that.”

“One can only hope. Next question, this time for Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance.” Quiver took a second to clear his throat before he read out the query. “‘What, exactly, is the Crystal Empire’s status in relation to Equestria? Is it an allied nation? A vassal state? A province of Equestria? Also, why is it called an empire if it only consists of one city?’”

Celestia smiled. “The Crystal Empire was one of the founding provinces of Equestria, though the Empire itself predates the founding of Equestria by several years. The name was initially part of an effort by Princess Amore to discourage invasion, at least until she or those working with her could conceive of better means to defend the Empire beyond the Crystal Heart and psychological deterrents.”

“Ya’ll gotta admit, callin’ somethin’ an ‘empire’ sounds a whole lot more impressive than callin’ somethin’ a ‘kingdom’, even if it’s misleadin’.” Applejack rubbed her chin thoughtfully and admitted, “Mind you, if’n it hadn’t become part of Equestria, then once she was of age, Amore would’ve been forced to call herself an ‘empress’. Becomin’ part of a bigger nation was probably a relief for her in more ways than one.”

“I’m glad that she did myself. I’m fine with the title of ‘princess’, but being called ‘Empress Cadenza’ would be way too much for me.” Cadance maintained a sheepish look even as she continued eating her tub of ice cream.

Quiver opted to move on from that comment as swiftly as possible. “Alright then, now we’ve got questions for Twilight.” He looked to her and read off, “‘This is probably a sensitive topic for you, but if you’re up to it, I have a couple questions about the Smarty Pants incident. First, from where or from whom did you learn the Want-It-Need-It Spell?’”

The young princess suddenly turned pale, then shrank down in embarrassment. “Oh dear…”

Celestia subtly cleared her throat. “Twilight learned the spell from me. In fact, any mental manipulation spell she might be aware of is because I either told her where to find it or taught it to her myself, for the purposes of being able to undo the spell. That she didn’t undo it herself is an indicator of how panicked she was at the time.” She looked to Twilight and said, “Very unneeded panic, but given how I seemed to breed anxiety after anxiety into her as time passed in the official version of events, perhaps that wasn’t surprising. And the second question?”

“‘Second, after you…’” Quiver turned uncomfortable as he looked upon Twilight. “Well, after the spell was cast on the Smarty Pants doll, Twilight commented that the spell ‘works every time’. Direct quote. ‘How, exactly, have you established that?’”

Twilight managed an embarrassed squeak. “I tested it with non-sapient animals. That time in Ponyville was the first and only time that I used it on sapient beings, I promise.”

A yellow wing found itself draped over her form as Fluttershy comforted her. “It’s alright, Twilight. We know you feel bad about it. But I hope that you’ve never done it since.” At the shaking of her friend’s head, she smiled. “Good.”

“I’ll second that. Anyway, one last question for you. ‘What is the relationship between Twilight and Spike in this AU’?”

“Kinda obvious, isn’t it?” Spike wrapped a claw around one of Twilight’s hooves as he noted, “Twilight’s like a big sister to me, even if it isn’t official.”

A wing was wrapped around him in return as Twilight assured him, “And you’re definitely a little brother to me, Spike.”

“One last question from Final Legend Zero, a question for Celestia and Luna now. ‘In the show, even now, Celestia is the only one who has a throne in Canterlot Palace. Is this the state of affairs in the Quiververse as well, or does Luna have a throne there as well?’”

“I like this reader.” Luna smirked at her sister and noted, “They ask the important questions.”

Celestia smirked right back. “Indeed they do.” It faded to a polite smile as the elder alicorn elaborated. “The palace is currently undergoing some minor renovations in order to include a new throne for Luna, to more properly reflect her status as my equal in affairs of state. They would have been done much sooner, but budgeting the necessary funding was not easy.”

“Attempting to wrangle something out of the government is difficult even for us, unfortunately.” The younger of the two sisters frowned as she groused, “It took the recent invasion by changelings for them to even consider our recent proposals to increase military spending and expand the Royal Guard, and even that has gone slowly, despite Equestria having another province in need of defending in addition to several threats to its national security within the last year.”

“And that’s ignoring all of the idiots who either think that we don’t need a military or that we shouldn’t have one or that what we’ve got is enough.” Quiver groaned. “Sorry, but the more I see in the press like that despite all the evidence to the contrary…”

Celestia smiled gently. “We understand. Now, I understand that there were others that had questions?”

“Yes. I also have questions from diablo4000, though not as many.” Quiver looked to the cards and read off. “First question is to Sunset. ‘What are your thoughts on the Anon-A-Miss plot? A lot of people complain about it and everyone being so out of character, though some say it’s because the timing was bad. If placed before Rainbow Rocks, it would’ve made more sense.’”

Groans of varying levels sounded out among the Rainbooms. The human Rarity rubbed her temples and wondered aloud, “That story is going to be an albatross about our necks for the rest of our lives, isn’t it?”

“Easy, Rarity.” Sunset sat up and answered, “A story like that was probably inevitable. How the story was executed, however, is probably the biggest problem people have with it. Bullying in general, and that includes cyberbullying, is something that does need attention paid to it, but the way the story handled things was poor. About the only good thing that I can say about it is that it did help to paint me in a sympathetic light.” She smirked and added, “But yes, if it had taken place before ‘Rainbow Rocks’, it would have made far more sense. Hence why our version was placed there.”

“As the author’s explained again and again and again…” Quiver groaned again. “And for Principal Celestia, ‘Are you happy being in a role where you’re able to help out the characters more? Such as getting a certain therapist’s help in the story?’”

“Yes, very much so.” The principal sighed and admitted, “The official materials have done a lot to paint me, Luna and other authority figures in the human-based stories as being useless, whether by accident or on purpose. Being able to avert that and actively help out, hell, actually having something to do in the story, is a good thing for me. I only wish that I’d been more effective at it in this version, but alas…” She shrugged. “And it was good to get said therapist into the story.”

“Especially for said therapist,” Radiant Hope noted with a grin. “Being part of this story has been wonderful for me, especially given the promises of things to come, and I’m looking forward to more.”

“Well, that answered the next question.” Quiver moved onto another and said, “Now, for the CMC, ‘do you find it difficult to play the story of Anon-A-Miss and its aftermath? How are you handling it?’”

The human Crusaders were nestled with their counterparts, and all of them looked nervous, Apple Bloom most of all. “Yeah, that story ain’t a proud moment fer us neither. But no, it wasn’t easy fer us to play.”

“Yeah, believe it or not, we get on great with Sunset off the set.” Scootaloo gave the fire-haired girl an encouraging smile. “Really made our apology scene easy to play.”

“And hopefully we never have to do anything like that again.” Sweetie Belle looked about anxiously, then asked, “Anyone see the ‘spoilers’ lady?”

General responses in the negative answered her as Quiver moved to another question. “Okay, last one. For the Rainbooms, the CMCs, Flash Sentry, Principal Celestia, Vice Principal Luna, and their counterparts. Have any of you read any of the fanfics based on the Anon-A-Miss story?” He looked up and said, “And that’s paraphrasing.”

Another chorus of negative responses sounded off as Vice Principal Luna explained, “I can safely say that none of us have read any of the other Anon-A-Miss fanfics out there, though I imagine some are probably very good.”

“Partly we’re tryin’ to avoid spoilers, partly it’s because they ain’t our universe,” the human Applejack explained. “And that’s ignorin’ how busy we are to begin with. Plus, Ah don’t think any of us are eager to relive anythin’ associated with that story.”

Agreement sounded among them, and Quiver went to one last card. “Okay, finally, we have one question from RQK. ‘To any and all ponies that would like to answer this, what are your thoughts on that strange mare you saw? Furthermore, what about that second Twilight? In this instance with the Nightmare, she seemed to insinuate that you might have otherwise failed had she not stepped in. How does that make you feel? How does the prospect of having failed in some other instance of these events feel to you?’”

“Well, it obviously was not only ponies who saw Crystal Faire or the second Twilight, but I think we all understand what is meant by the question.” Murmured agreement chorused around her as Princess Luna continued, “I think we can all agree that their presence was a welcome one, though I’m not pleased at the notion that we would have failed without her assistance.”

“I know I’m not.” Twilight’s head hung low in shame as she admitted, “I like to think we would have won either way, but…”

“But there’s no way to know, and it’s just as well we don’t have to find out.” Sunset gave Twilight a comforting hug. “But I like to think that her presence turned a fifty-fifty chance of survival into a certain chance of survival.”

The human Applejack grinned. “Ask me to choose between either of those odds, and Ah’ll take the second one any day.”

“No argument from me.” Quiver put aside the questions. “Well, that’s it for now. Here’s hoping that future ones are just as illuminating…” He gave Twilight an apologetic look and noted, “And maybe less painful.”

Vignette One - Friendship Is Magic

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Assorted moans and groans sounded amongst the six mares as they roused themselves from unconsciousness and recovered from the magic they’d unleashed.

“Ugh, my head.” Rainbow Dash rubbed her cranium with one hoof as she pulled herself up and stretched out her wings.

Applejack looked about among her friends, weary but recovering. “Everypony okay?”

“I believe so, I certainly don’t feel…” Rarity gasped, back on her hooves and almost instantly noticing the single biggest change on her person with glee. “Oh thank heavens!”

Fluttershy smiled and approached the fashionista. “Oh Rarity, it’s so lovely.”

“I know!” The white unicorn swished her restored tail about, the limb now fully restored to its glory from the start of their adventure, before she’d sacrificed it to aid the sea serpent they’d met along the way. “I’ll never part with it again!”

“Oh, yes, your tail does look nice, but I was actually talking about your necklace.” As her friend noticed her new accessory and the violet gem upon it, Fluttershy explained, “It looks just like your cutie mark.”

“Ooh, so it does…” Rarity’s eyes wandered to Fluttershy’s neck, where she noticed a similar accessory. “As does yours, dear!”

Fluttershy let out a small gasp at the butterfly-shaped gemstone upon her neck, and looked to Applejack and Pinkie Pie to notice the ones they now wore, shaped like an orange apple and a blue balloon respectively. While the farmer looked a little embarrassed by her new bit of jewelry, the party mare was decidedly more excited. “Look at mine! Look at mine!”

Rainbow prodded at her own, a red lightning bolt-shaped gem upon it, and smirked. “Jewelry’s not really my thing, but this is kinda awesome.” Her attention turned to the last of the group and noted, “Less silly than what Twilight’s got, anyway.”

Twilight Sparkle, lone among her friends, had not been granted a necklace, but instead wore a crown, crafted in such a way that her ears held it comfortably in place. Its base was studded with bright blue stones, but they paled in comparison to the six-pointed star-shaped gem that sat upon it. Twilight felt a little silly wearing it, but a tiny part of her thought that it did feel nice to have it upon her head.

“Ah guess you were right, Twilight.” Applejack approached her and admitted, “We really do represent the Elements of Harmony. Who’d’a thunk it?”

A gentle laugh sounded out as light flooded the chamber through its windows and the sun rose in the distance. As the sun shone ever more brightly, a flash of light briefly blocked it out before fading away to reveal a familiar and far happier sight. Standing before them was an alicorn, the only one that anypony could recognize on sight, tall and elegant with a long horn emerging from her head and wide wings emerging from her sides. Her mane was a flowing sea of pinks, blues and greens, and she wore gilded horseshoes, a peytral and crown, with a smile upon her face as she gazed upon her subjects.

“Princess Celestia!” As her friends bowed in the presence of their ruler, Twilight rushed forward to embrace her. As the princess warmly embraced her in turn, the unicorn asked, “What happened? Where did you go?”

“Nightmare Moon sent me to the moon in her place. When you defeated her, the banishment was undone.” She beamed with pride as she regarded her faithful student. “Well done, Twilight Sparkle. I knew you could do it.”

“But you told me that it was all an old pony tale…”

The princess shook her head. “I told you that you needed to make some friends. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon’s return just as you did, and I knew that it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her. But you could not unleash it until you embraced friendship, and allowed it into your heart.” She looked to the other bearers, who had long ended their bows and had approached with some hesitation. “And from what I’ve seen, you’ve done an amazing job of exactly that. Well done, all of you. The Elements of Harmony are now yours, bonded to you so long as you’re worthy to wield them.” The smile faded as she looked to the last pony in the room, one whom the rest of them had failed to notice in all of their excitement. “Now, however, it’s time your predecessors took care of some unfinished business.”

In the opposite corner of the room, where Nightmare Moon had stood, now rested fragments of shattered armor and another alicorn mare, indigo in color and similarly clad to Celestia. She moaned softly as her eyelids fluttered open, then gasped as if waking up from a terrible dream. She looked about, then turned fearful and ashamed as Celestia approached.

A similar expression of shame was upon the larger alicorn’s face as she approached the smaller. “Hello Luna. It’s been a very long time, my dear sister.”

“Sister?” Rainbow Dash approached the scholar of their group and asked, “What the hay is she talking about?”

Awestruck comprehension slowly became clear upon Twilight’s face as she remembered the old story. “A thousand years ago, Equestria was ruled by two pony sisters. The elder raised the sun and brought forth the day, and the younger raised the moon and brought forth the night.”

“But the younger grew resentful of the elder, as their subjects basked and played in the light of the day, and slept and neglected her beautiful nights.” A sad tone was clear in Celestia’s voice as she continued, “And as the younger grew ever more bitter, the elder became more and more distracted, and failed to see that she’d lost her beloved little sister until it was too late. The younger became consumed by a terrible darkness, and the elder was forced to banish her with the Elements of Harmony.” Tears formed as she admitted, “I was forced to banish my little sister.”

The smaller alicorn whimpered.

“Then, the ponies in the old story…” Rarity looked at the two in amazement. “But that means the two of you are well over a thousand years old!”

Pinkie let out a low whistle. “That’s a lotta candles for a birthday cake.”

“And for a thousand years, the story of Nightmare Moon has twisted and changed such that the truth became concealed by myth and legend. And for a thousand years, my sister has been the victim of my neglect, trapped as much by my own hooves as she was by the monster who took her. Had I only known…” She less knelt than she did collapse in sorrow. “Luna, I am so very sorry. For everything. We were meant to rule Equestria together, as equals, but for so many, yours became the lesser light. You were trapped long before the Nightmare claimed you, and I was too much a fool to recognize how you felt. You deserved better from all of us, but especially from me, as your friend and as your sister. I wish…”

Celestia was interrupted as her sister jumped up and embraced her. Tears streamed down her face as she cried out, “I’m sorry too, Celie! I didn’t want to hurt anyone, I just…!”

“You just didn’t want to be unloved.” Celestia wrapped her forelegs and wings about her sibling and held her close. “You didn’t want to be alone. I know.”

The younger sister sniffled as she sought to regain control of herself. “I missed you so much.”

The elder alicorn smiled even as her tears continued, and she took her sister into a tight embrace. “I missed you too, Luna. Welcome home. And things will be different now. I promise.”

A few sniffles could be heard behind them. Both looked behind them as Pinkie Pie gushed tears, the other mares far more restrained but very clearly moved. The two alicorns recovered themselves, and both rose to their hooves as Celestia stood back. Luna approached them with as much regal bearing as she could muster, her gaze firm upon the lavender unicorn. “We regret not having heard thine name, young mare. It would please us to know it, so that we may properly thank you.”

Twilight gave a respectful bow. “Twilight Sparkle, your Highness.”

A nod. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. To you and your friends, for restoring us, for…” The regal veneer cracked and she softly finished with a smile, “For bringing me home.”

“Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I know what this calls for!” Pinkie pronked her way back to the chamber entrance and declared, “Come on, everypony! We’ve got a Summer Sun Celebration to get back to!”

Celestia flashed an encouraging smile to her sister as they were led out by five of the new bearers of the Elements of Harmony, one lagging behind. “Aren’t you coming, Twilight?”

The unicorn shook her head as if clearing out a daze and smiled. “Yes, of course.” She followed them out, the odd thought of sadness at having been left out of the full truth brushed aside with the assurance that things had worked out. Others still lingered, such as what would happen now, and whether she should return to Canterlot and her studies, or stay and embrace this new life with the friends she’d made in Ponyville.

The latter thought would stay with her all the way back to town, but the former would come back to her for some time to come, until the day when she could ignore it no longer. But that was a day long in coming.

Vignette Two - One Bad Apple

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“And we figured out you were just doing it to avoid getting picked on in Ponyville. But by then, we were the ones being bullies, and…” Sweetie Belle threw up her hooves as her friends climbed out of the tub of soapy water and exclaimed, “Oh, why does life have to be so ironic?!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow as she threw towels over the other two Crusaders. “Don’t quite think you’re usin’ that word right, Sweetie Belle.” The unicorn filly emerged from the tub and got her own towel as the older mare continued, “Still, why didn’t ya’ll tell me what was goin’ on?”

“‘Cuz we didn’t wanna get stuck as snitches.” Apple Bloom bowed her head and added, “An’ it wasn’t like you were doin’ much about Diamond Tiara an’ Silver Spoon.”

“Ah wasn’t doin’ much about ‘em because Ah thought ya’ll were doin’ a pretty good job dealin’ with ‘em on yer own. Ya’ll have to fight yer own battles after all. Can’t rely on me or somepony else to help ya all the time.” She frowned and added, “That bein’ said, ya’ll shouldn’t be afraid to ask fer help neither. Now you three dry yerselves off, hmm?” She then turned to the remaining filly and curtly ordered, “Babs, you come with me.”

The Manehattan native kept silent as she followed her cousin into the nearby barn. How much of it was due to guilt for her actions, Applejack wasn’t sure, but she hoped that was the main reason. Because the alternative was anything but pleasant.

The barn door closed behind them, and Applejack turned her gaze upon the filly. “Ah’d ask what you were thinkin’ when you decided to give your cousin and her friends a hard time, but Ah’ve got a bad feelin’ Ah already know the answer to that question.”

“I…”

“No little filly, it ain’t your turn to talk. When Ah heard about the trouble you were havin’ back in Manehattan from Sunflower, Ah didn’t have reason to question it. Now, after hearin’ all’a this, Ah’m wonderin’ things that Ah’d rather not wonder about.” She gave the filly a hard glare and asked, “Now Ah want a simple yes or no answer outta you, Babs. Were you bein’ bullied back in Manehattan?”

“Yes!” the filly answered without hesitation.

Applejack pursed her lips. “An’ you expect me to believe that now?”

Babs’ ears drooped, and her head quickly followed. “No.”

The older mare huffed. “Well at least ya’ll have some smarts in that head’a yours.” She then sat down. “Alright filly, Ah’ve heard Apple Bloom speculate about why you did it, but Ah wanna hear it from you. What in the Maker’s name made you think that bullyin’ them was in any way a good idea, after you’d been bullied yerself back home? And this ain’t a yes or no question.”

The filly meekly raised her head to face her cousin as she asked, “You ever been bullied?” At the mare’s head shake ‘no’, the filly blew her mane out of her eyes. “Count yourself lucky. Back in my school in Manehattan, the bullies are always there, always causin’ trouble, an’ always givin’ me grief over one thing or another. An’ bein’ a blank flank’s the least’a my problems with ‘em. I mean, look at me. I kinda stand out, bein’ big for my age.” She frowned and added, “An’ the worst thing is, it ain’t just the bullies. Everyone else in my class joins in, an’ it’s like no one cares. My teacher back home sure don’t.” She frowned and added, “I came here, and with Apple Bloom bein’ the way she was, I thought I was gettin’ set up for somethin’. Happened to me way too often back home. When Diamond Tiara an’ Silver Spoon showed up an’ started givin’ the Crusaders grief, I thought that was the only chance I had to keep from havin’ it happen all over again.”

Applejack scowled. “So ya took the coward’s way out.” At the filly’s shocked expression, the mare continued, “Don’t try to call it anythin’ else, filly, because that’s exactly what ya did! An’ worse, you were an even bigger bully to them than Diamond Tiara an’ Silver Spoon have ever been! Ah don’t know who Ah’m angrier at, or more disappointed in – you fer pullin’ all those stunts, or me for not seein’ what was goin’ on under mah own eyes! Trashin’ that float?! Houndin’ em all over town?! Kickin’ ‘em outta their own clubhouse?! Makin’ Apple Bloom sleep on the floor?! It ain’t a wonder that they tried that stunt with the booby-trapped float and –!”

Applejack caught herself in time, but Babs could tell where it was going. “An’ would’ve ended up with me gettin’ hurt. Or worse.”

The mare sighed. “Ah don’t think they intended for ya’ll to end up hurt. Or worse. Stuck in the mud, yeah, but definitely not injured.” She shook her head sadly. “Babs, did you enjoy all the trouble you went through back home, with all that bullyin’?”

“No.”

“An’ you think Apple Bloom enjoyed it? Or that she enjoys it when Diamond Tiara gives her trouble? An’ that’s ignorin’ the fact that after all the stunts you’ve done, that filly’s probably gonna think she can get away with that kinda crap too, or worse.”

That realization led to a horror-struck look on Babs’ face as she asked, “Will she? I mean, I didn’t think…”

“No, you didn’t. An’ Ah’d like to see her try an’ pull that kinda stuff, because if’n she did, well…” She gave the filly a half-smile. “Let’s just say you’re lucky Granny Smith’s takin’ her annual trip to Las Pegasus right now. An’ if’n Diamond Tiara had pulled half the stunts you’d pulled, trust me, Granny wouldn’t take it easy on her.”

“And me?”

Applejack turned regretful. “Ah don’t know. As it is, Ah ain’t sure how to take this, beyond anger an’ disappointment. You done hurt yer kin, Babs, an’ Apples stick together. We look out fer each other. That’s probably the big reason why Ah didn’t get bullied as a young’un, because ponies knew that if’n they tried to pull anythin’, they’d get trouble from Granny an’ mah daddy. An’ that’s because Ah ain’t stupid enough to be worried about bein’ a snitch.”

“But…”

“But nuthin’! Problems don’t get solved unless ponies actually address those problems, an’ they don’t get addressed unless they get talked about! Keepin’ silent over a bad thing ain’t gonna help nopony except the ones causin’ the problem, an’ do ya really want them bullies to win?”

“But the teachers wouldn’t do nuthin’ about it!”

“Well then they’re cowards too! Same as everypony else who sat back and did nuthin’ in your class while you were gettin’ bullied! An’ besides, just because one adult won’t do somethin’ don’t mean another adult won’t! What about yer parents, or Aunt and Uncle Orange? Somethin’ tells me those two’d be able to pull some strings to do somethin’ about it.”

“But then…!”

“But nuthin’! Gal, if’n the trouble’s that bad, then doin’ somethin’ to fight back is better than just sittin’ there an’ takin’ it, an’ it’s loads better than what you did to the Crusaders.”

Babs frowned. “You make it sound easy. Ain’t a surprise, considerin’.”

“Considerin’ what, me bein’ a bearer of an Element a’ Harmony? Babs, Ah ain’t ashamed to admit it, but Ah was scared outta mah mind when me an’ my friends went into the Everfree to find those Elements. We didn’t have complete information, an’ there was no guarantee we’d make it through those woods in one piece. Trust me, you grow up in Ponyville, you get a healthy respect for how scary that place can be.” She raised a hoof to the filly’s chin and told her, “But Ah was a lot more scared of what would happen if’n Ah did nuthin’. Celestia gone, a monster rulin’ Equestria in her place, all sorts’a terrors on the horizon. What we got ain’t perfect, but Ah’d rather not see what Equestria would be like under a tyrant. All those stories from Nightmare Night might not be true, but the real deal would’ve been a whole lot worse.” She then lifted Babs’ head up and said, “Real courage ain’t about not bein’ afraid. It’s bein’ afraid, an’ doin’ the right thing anyway.”

Babs frowned, then closed her eyes in shame. “I’m sorry, Applejack. You must hate me for all this.”

“No, but like Ah said, Ah’m mighty disappointed, in you and in me.” She lowered her hoof and admitted, “Tell ya the truth, Ah probably should’ve told Apple Bloom the full story from the start about what was goin’ on and why you were here. Ah didn’t want you to feel singled out over what you were goin’ through back home, but maybe if’n Ah had, we could’ve avoided all’a this.”

“Yeah, but what’s done is done. Ain’t like I can go back an’ change things or somethin’.”

“No, but you can learn from this, make things right.” She stood up and moved to one side, then turned her head towards the barn door. “An’ Ah think we both know where you can start.”

Babs opened her eyes to see the three Crusaders standing at the barn door. With more than a little fear, she stepped forward. “Girls, I’m sorry, for what I did. I know that ain’t enough to make up for all the trouble I gave ya, but I am sorry. And I had that bit with the float comin’.”

The three Crusaders looked among themselves, before Apple Bloom shrugged. “Maybe ya did, but Ah think we both made mistakes today.”

“And we probably did come on a little strong when we met you.” Scootaloo managed a nervous smile at that. “Maybe a lot strong.”

“Still, every pony makes mistakes.” Sweetie Belle smiled hopefully. “And when a pony’s genuinely sorry, and they work to make amends, then you should always give them a chance. Or you could lose something special.”

Babs looked among the three and wondered aloud, “So, you forgive me? Just like that?”

Apple Bloom offered a hoof. “Ah don’t like holdin’ grudges.”

The larger filly smiled, then took her cousin into a tight hug. Apple Bloom smiled back and did likewise, with the other Crusaders following.

Applejack smiled, then stepped forward. “Well, Ah’m glad ya’ll’ve made up, but…” The four turned to her with renewed concern before she continued, “Babs, Ah believe you when you say you’re sorry, but sayin’ that ain’t enough. When you came into town, you were a guest. Now though, you’ve got a debt to pay, and there’s plenty means to do it out here on the farm. Startin’ tomorrow, you’re helpin’ Apple Bloom with her chores. And you’re gonna keep on helpin’ her till yer visit’s done. An’ beyond that, Ah will be writin’ to yer folks about what you’ve done.”

Babs lowered her head. “Should’a seen that comin’.” She raised it again and admitted, “Still, that’s probably gettin’ off light, ain’t it?”

“Accordin’ to some, yeah. But don’t be surprised if’n your folks give you a punishment or two once ya get home, even while they’re dealin’ with the bullyin’ you had to deal with. And trust me, they will.” The mare gently knocked a hoof against her cousin’s leg and assured her, “This family looks after its own. Always.”

The remainder of Babs Seed’s stay had been mercifully quiet. While she had something of a learning curve, the filly had gone into every chore and assignment without complaint. Apple Bloom, consequently, had found herself getting her work done just a little faster, and also found herself with a little bit more free time on her hands. And by the end of her stay, Babs had been inducted into the Cutie Mark Crusaders. There’d even been some talk of her starting a branch in Manehattan, much to the others’ delight.

“Don’t know how many ponies’ll wanna be part’a it, but it’s worth a shot.” She smiled sadly. “At least they’ll know they ain’t in it alone.”

“Darn right.” Applejack smiled. “An’ you remember what we talked about, right?”

Babs nodded. “Speakin’ up when you’re gettin’ hurt don’t mean you’re a snitch. It means you’re not lettin’ the bully get away with bein’ a bully. An’ bein’ a bully to others ain’t the way to deal with a bully in the first place.” She frowned. “For all the good it’ll do me.”

Apple Bloom came forward and gave her cousin a hug. “Don’t give up hope, Babs. Things might just work out for ya.”

Before Babs could reply, a scoff sounded from the other side of the platform. “And here I thought you weren’t just another lame blank flank!” Heads turned to find Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon standing nearby, the former looking smug. “Guess I was wrong!”

Sweetie Belle leaned in close to Scootaloo and whispered, “What is it with those two? Do they enjoy being jerks?”

The pegasus filly frowned. “I don’t know, and I don’t wanna know.”

Applejack frowned and stepped forward, but Babs held up a hoof to stop her. The Manehattan native then stood tall and locked her gaze on the two fillies before her. “You wanna see somethin’ lame, try lookin’ in a mirror sometime. Better a blank flank than a bully any day of the week.”

Diamond sneered and turned her head up. “Doesn’t make you Cutie Mark-Less Crusaders any less lame, though.”

“An’ it don’t change how pathetic you two are.” Babs’s gaze held firm as the wealthy filly rounded on her, and she continued, “Someday, the two’a you are gonna see just how much hurt you’ve done to others, and yourselves. Wonder what’ll happen then.” She then stepped forward, her gaze still locked on Diamond Tiara as she inched closer. “I can see it now. You two pick a fight with somepony, bite off more’n you can chew, and then the real trouble starts. You’ll be all alone, no friends an’ no way your money can help ya because no one likes ya.” She stopped just a few inches away from the bullying filly and noted, “Gonna be awful scary when that time comes.”

Diamond tried her best to not look intimidated at the larger mare and blustered, “You think I’m scared of –?”

Babs suddenly jumped forward and shouted “Boo!” and caused the bully to jump back in shock. With a satisfied grin, Babs turned around and made her way back to her fellow Crusaders as the train pulled into the station and she made her goodbyes.

Diamond waited until Babs had boarded the train and it had started on its way, then approached Apple Bloom and said, “If you think for one minute your cousin has scared me off…”

“It ain’t Babs you need to be worryin’ about, little missy.” She looked up to find Applejack scowling at her. “From what Ah’ve been hearin’, you an’ your little hanger-on done came onta mah family’s property without an invite, just to give my little sister and her friends trouble. Ah got problems with that, an’ Ah know a few other ponies who’d have problems with it too.” Her glare intensified as she added, “Like yer daddy.”

Diamond paused at that, then sneered. “As if he’d believe you.”

“It ain’t just me he’ll be hearin’ it from.” Applejack let the threat hang as she turned around and beckoned, “Come on, ya’ll. Plenty left to do today, and it ain’t gettin’ done here.”

Diamond fumed as Applejack and the Crusaders went on their way, then turned and trotted off herself. “Come on, Silver Spoon. We’ve got better things to do than hang around here.” As they gained distance from the train station, she grumbled, “The nerve of that mare. Who does she think she is, talking to me like that?”

“Apple Bloom’s big sister? One of the ponies that stopped Nightmare Moon?”

Diamond restrained a groan at her friend failing to recognize a rhetorical question as she went on her way. The day Babs spoke of would never come – she was a diamond, and diamonds didn’t break.

Author's Notes:

This vignette is adapted from the original episode from Cindy Morrow, and I admit draws a little from the story Consequences - A Bad Apple Comedy of Justice by author Stainless Steel Fox. If he's got an issue, I apologize immensely.

One Bad Apple sits among the more controversial episodes in the fandom, particularly among those of us who were bullied in the past. As anyone can tell you, while going to an adult is something you should do about being bullied, it isn't the magical solution to the problem. Bullying, alas, happens for a number of reasons, and a number of authority figures fail to grasp why. There's a tiny part of me that wants to give Cindy Morrow the benefit of the doubt and say that someone higher up the food chain from her did something to this script along the lines of what they did to M. A. Larsen with Magical Mystery Cure and later (more infamously) Fame and Misfortune, but that's just speculation on my part. In any case, I think I've addressed at least a few issues here.

Vignette Three - Sweet and Elite

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“You know these ponies?”

As the various nobles and elite chattered amongst themselves, Rarity found herself caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place as she stood between them and her friends from back home in Ponyville. Since not long after her arrival in Canterlot, she’d spent most of her time ingratiating herself with Fancy Pants and his entourage, the cream of the city’s crop. And thanks to a number of factors outside of her control, the world that she’d hoped to be a part of had come crashing face-first into the world from which she’d come, and what standing she’d built up was about to collapse like a house of cards in a sudden breeze.

Perhaps she was indulging in her Shadow Spade novels just a bit too much, but nonetheless, there was only one thing that she could do.

“Yes.” Rarity mustered up her courage and firmly admitted, “Yes, I do know them. They may not be as sophisticated as some of you Canterlot ponies, but they are my best friends.” She turned back to face her friends and smiled. “And they are without a doubt the most important ponies I know.”

A derisive snort sounded from behind her. “Important ponies? These ruffians?”

Upper Crust’s tone was a perfect match for her husband’s. “Don’t make me laugh!”

The pair proceeded to do exactly that, only for Fancy Pants to cut them off. “Well I for one find them charmingly rustic.” He waited just long enough for his fellow elites to gasp before he approached Twilight with approval. “And I think the dress you made for your friend is lovely.” He turned back towards Rarity with a chuckle, though the laugh clearly wasn’t intended towards her. “I dare say every mare in Canterlot will be wanting one.”

Swiftly enough, Upper Crust rushed to Rarity’s side and purred, “Oh, I’d like to place my order right now.”

Jet Set took the opposite side. “I think you should get two, darling.”

Even Fancy Pants appeared surprised at how quickly the two brown-nosing ponies made their about-face, if his expression was any indication. “Er, yes, now then.” He quickly regained his composure and prompted, “Rarity, perhaps you’d be so kind as to introduce me to your friends?”

The mare beamed. “With pleasure!” She crossed the distance and made her way to the earth pony mare with muddied hooves. “If you’ll allow me, I’ll begin with the mare whom I’ve known the longest. This is Applejack. Ponyville practically grew from the seeds her family planted, and its core rests with her family farm, Sweet Apple Acres.”

At the stallion’s curious expression, Applejack made a nervous smile and doffed her hat in greeting. “Well, that’s a tiny bit more poetic than Ah’d put it, but it ain’t too far off. Right pleased to be introduced to ya, sir.”

“Likewise my dear. Now, is this Sweet Apple Acres the same one which produces zap apple jam?”

“The very same, sir. Afraid you’re a hair late to put in an order for this year's batch, but Ah’d be more’n happy to put your name down for next year.”

The noblestallion made a pleased laugh. “I’m much obliged to you, miss.”

Rarity suspected that there would be quite a few names down for orders of zap apple jam in the near future, but opted to clear her throat and carry on. “Next, this is Pinkamena Diane Pie, the preeminent party planner of Ponyville.”

The pink party mare licked her face clean and offered a hoof. “Pinkie Pie for short, Sir Fancy Pants!”

“Delighted. I assume that you handle all sorts of parties?”

Pinkie nodded. “Except for political parties, though. Too much hot air.”

Fancy Pants laughed at that, which prompted some additional laughter from the Canterlot elite. “Well, I certainly can’t fault you for thinking that. Are you a native of Ponyville as well?”

“Nope. I moved there from Rockville when I was a little filly.” She pulled a business card from her mane and noted, “But if you’re ever looking for a good source of catering, here’s the card for the place I work at. We make good treats at Sugar Cube Corner.”

He took up the card in his magic. “I’ll keep this in mind, though a menu would…” A pamphlet emerged from her mane as well, and soon joined the card with his approval. “I dare say, you’re prepared for anything.”

Pinkie shrugged. “I try.”

“And Pinkie’s not our only transplant.” Rarity gestured to the yellow pegasus among them. “This is Fluttershy. She’s Ponyville’s wildlife conservation officer, as well as something of an unofficial veterinarian. She has a fantastic way with animals, as you may have noticed.”

“It’s my special talent.” Fluttershy, for her part, looked to be making a very strong effort to be brave for her friend. “Pleased to meet you, sir.”

“And I you, miss. I assume you originate in Cloudsdale?”

A nod. “I moved to Ponyville a few years ago, with a friend.”

“Namely, me.” The prismatic pegasus among them stepped up with a cocky grin. “Rainbow Dash.”

That prompted an eyebrow raise and a small grin. “Ah, the Wonderbolts’ trainer.”

Rainbow Dash and Rarity’s eyes both went wide at that, though for different reasons. The latter found herself fighting back an embarrassed expression as the former grinned. “Geez Rarity, when you lie, you lie big!” Dash laughed and clarified, “I wish I was their trainer, but no. Someday though, I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt! You can count on it!”

Fancy Pants accepted that with a laugh. “I look forward to seeing you at one of their derbies then.” His gaze turned to the last of their number as he prompted, “And last but not least is…?”

Rarity regained her composure. “The last of my friends to come to Ponyville, a resident as of the recent Summer Sun Celebration. This is Twilight Sparkle. And the dress she’s wearing is, in fact, my gift to her, in honor of her birthday.”

Fancy Pants smiled and nodded. “Happy Birthday, young mare.”

“Thank you, sir, and I’m sorry if my party ended up disrupting yours.”

He dismissively waved a hoof. “You’ve disrupted nothing. In fact, I suspect that I did more to disrupt your friend’s efforts at making a gift than you did anything of mine.” A few of his guests briefly looked disgruntled at that.

“That’s as much my fault as it is yours,” Rarity admitted. “In any case, it’s thanks to her that I was able to stay in the palace in the first place. You see…”

“Twilight Sparkle happens to be a very important pony to quite a few of us.” Heads turned to find a group of four new arrivals. Rarity wasn’t certain what attracted the attention of the Canterlot Elite besides Fancy Pants more between the young dragon or the alicorn, but the way they looked now could only be described as slack-jawed as the latter smiled. “And I for one couldn’t ignore my most treasured student’s birthday.”

“Princess Celestia! Mom! Dad! Spike!” Twilight rushed forward and took her family into a tight embrace. “Where’s…?”

“On assignment, unfortunately, but he sends his love.” Twilight Velvet happily hugged her daughter back. “It’s great to see you, Twilight.”

“I’d say, especially considering we’ve barely seen you since you moved to Ponyville.” Night Light gave his daughter a reassuring grin. “Relax, that’s as much on us as it is you. We definitely need to visit the next chance we get, and get properly introduced to all these new friends of yours.”

As Twilight beamed and began introductions of her own, Rarity’s gaze met that of Princess Celestia, and she gave a small smile. The pair went off to a secluded corner as Rarity ventured, “Forgive me for asking, your Highness, but you didn’t plan this, did you?”

Celestia laughed. “Hardly, Rarity. But once I found out that Twilight’s party had been moved here to Canterlot, well, I had to do something. And making certain that her family was here was important, given how little she sees them anymore.” She smiled sadly and noted, “With any luck, that will change soon.”

“Well, regardless, I do believe that I’ve learned something from this.” At the princess’ curious expression, Rarity explained, “No matter where you go in life, you should never forget that you are the product of your home and your friends. And that is something always to be proud of, no matter what.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Anything else?”

The elegant unicorn made a nervous laugh. “Yes. That bending the truth will always come back to bite you in the end.”

Outwardly, the alicorn smiled and nodded. On the inside, however, she wished that she’d learned that lesson much sooner than Rarity had, as quite a few truths she’d bent over the years had done exactly that, and she feared a few more were yet to come.

Vignette Four - A Bird in the Hoof

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Sugar Cube Corner was busier than normal today, though for clear enough reasons given their illustrious guest. Carrot Cake and Cup Cake were beside themselves keeping things in order, despite the attempts at their guest to get them to lighten up. Alas, there were limits to even Princess Celestia’s power.

She preferred it that way, of course, but still, it would be nice if her subjects could loosen up from time to time. She did her best to grin and bear it before something happened to disrupt this rare moment of relaxation, and turned to one of the ponies she’d hoped to spend time with and get to know better. “Now then, Fluttershy. I understand from Twilight’s letters that you enjoy tending to the needs of woodland creatures.”

The yellow pegasus nodded, just a bit more at ease than she was before. “Oh yes, I love to take care of animals.”

“As do I, though I rarely have as much time as I’d like to do so.” A harsh cough sounded from a shrouded golden cage beside her as she continued, “And in some cases, I find I have more than enough on my hooves with just one animal. Speaking of.” She pulled back the curtain on the cage and turned her attention to the creature inside. “Nice of you to join us, Philomena. Please say hello to our gracious hosts.”

The creature inside the cage was clearly some sort of bird, though it looked to be in horrid condition, with patches of bare skin visible as it continued to hack and cough.

Fluttershy wasn’t certain of what to say about the sight before her, so she did her best to remain diplomatic. “Oh…my…”

“She is quite a sight, isn’t she?” Celestia smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, this won’t last too long. She’ll be right as rain after she combusts.”

That phrasing briefly shocked the animal lover, before her knowledge kicked in and she realized what that meant. “Oh! Philomena’s a phoenix!” She turned to the lavender unicorn at her side and asked, “Twilight, why didn’t you tell me that Celestia was caring for such an amazing animal?”

Twilight had the decency to look embarrassed as she admitted, “Well, I was a little worried about how you’d take it. Phoenixes aren’t exactly domesticated.”

“No, but that doesn’t mean ponies can’t look after them.” Fluttershy’s attention was on the bird as she reasoned, “Of course, a combustion can still go wrong for a phoenix after a certain point in its life cycle, assuming they don’t get sufficient amounts of water before it happens. No wonder you have the poor dear with you.”

Celestia nodded, then found her attention claimed by a guard behind her as he whispered into her hear. “Really? Oh dear. Well, if I must.” She stood up and cleared her throat to get everypony’s attention. “My apologies, everypony, but I’m afraid that I must cut the party short. Royal duty calls, and Mayor Mare has requested an audience with me. Thank you, however, for a wonderful time. It’s been a joy getting to know all of you better.” As the gathered ponies expressed their disappointment and made a path for her to depart the shop, she turned to Fluttershy and asked, “Fluttershy, I’m uncertain of how long I’ll be with the Mayor. Would you be so kind as to look after Philomena for me until my business is concluded?”

The pegasus beamed at the offer and all but exclaimed, “Of course! I’d be happy to look after her!”

The princess gave a grateful smile, then turned to Philomena. “Don’t give her any trouble, young lady. Understood?” The bird coughed in reply as it nodded. “Alright then. I’ll see you soon.”

As Celestia went on her way, Twilight looked to her friend with an awestruck expression. “Fluttershy, this is amazing! To have Princess Celestia put this much trust into you…!”

The pegasus flashed a nervous smile. “Well, you did tell her how good I am with animals. She probably thinks that I’m the best pony to look after Philomena for her.”

Twilight, however, looked like she might go into a seizure she was so nervous. “But you don’t understand! If something goes wrong, it could be…!”

“Twilight, you remember what we’ve said before about not worrying unnecessarily?” At her friend’s slow nod, she then added, “And do you know anypony, save maybe Doctor Fauna or Zecora, who knows more about tending to exotic creatures than I do? All I need to do is keep Philomena comfortable, hydrated, and away from anything flammable, and I’ll be just fine.” She carefully closed up the drapes on the birdcage, then carried it and Philomena out of the shop and off to her cottage.

Twilight watched her go in astonishment as Spike joined her. She turned to her assistant and asked, “Did you see that?”

“Yeah, and Fluttershy’s right, Twilight. She knows what she’s doing.”

“Still, something could go wrong! And if the worst happens, then Fluttershy could be imprisoned, or banished! Or imprisoned wherever she’s been banished to!”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? Twilight, you know the princess. Even if the worst happens, which it won’t, she’s not gonna banish Fluttershy.” He shook his head. “But you’re gonna go and keep an eye on her just in case, right? Instead of trusting her to know what she’s doing?”

Twilight looked for a second like she was about to bolt out the door after Fluttershy, but relented. “Maybe I am worrying too much, but still, I know how attached Philomena is to Princess Celestia. For all we know, she might just try to get back to the princess.”

“Maybe, but Celestia did tell her not to give Fluttershy any trouble.” That did little to ease Twilight’s mood as Spike prompted, “Anyway, if all this goes okay, then maybe we’ve avoided a problem.”

It took everything Twilight had to avoid glaring at Spike as they looked upon the sight before them. Fluttershy was looking increasingly nervous as she watched the pile of ash before her that had previously been Philomena, waiting for it to go back to being a bird. She was more worried about Celestia’s reaction as the princess stepped forward into her friend’s cottage. “Princess Celestia, please, Fluttershy did all she…!” She turned silent as Celestia raised a wing.

Celestia, meanwhile, knelt down and smiled. “Come on now, Philomena, you’re scaring everypony.”

At her beckoning, the pile of ash pulled itself together and rose into the air. With a flash of light, the ash coalesced into a majestic bird, resplendent with red, orange and yellow plumage. Philomena fluttered down in front of a surprised Fluttershy, and gently rubbed the pony’s muzzle with her beak. The pegasus managed a sigh of relief. “Oh thank goodness. I was a little worried when she started pulling out her own feathers…”

“Phoenixes need as much oxygen in contact with their bare skin as they can get for their combustion. Hence, pulling out their feathers.”

Another sigh of relief. “Well, that aside, Philomena was on excellent behavior. Thank you for the chance to look after her.”

“And thank you for doing so, though something tells me you would have gone ahead and looked after her regardless.” The princess winked as she noted, “Thank goodness we saved ourselves a little embarrassment beforehoof, hmm?”

Fluttershy nodded as Philomena shook one wing as a loose feather drifted out. The phoenix snatched it out of the air with her beak, then presented it to her caretaker in thanks. “Oh, thank you!” She gently placed it into her mane, right behind one ear. “If you ever need me to look after her again, I’m more than happy to do so.”

“And you probably would have done so regardless.” Fluttershy turned embarrassed as the princess assured her, “Don’t worry, Fluttershy. I recognize that your heart was in the right place, though you should always remember where certain roads lead that are paved with good intentions. Thinking things through and asking first are always wise things to do, so let’s remember that for the future, hmm?”

“Of course.”

Celestia nodded as Twilight approached. “I’m sorry, to both of you. I should have trusted that Fluttershy knew what she was doing.” She bowed her head. “I’ve been a horrible friend.”

The princess wrapped a warm wing around her and smiled. “More like a very anxious one, Twilight. And there’s no shame in worrying over a friend, even when you know they can handle themselves. But let’s keep this friendship lesson in mind in the future as well, hmm?” Twilight smiled, but as she opened her mouth to speak, the princess added, “And no, you don’t need to send that to me as a letter.”

That prompted a nervous laugh from Twilight, that quickly turned into a pleased laugh from everyone present as Spike watched, satisfied at being right. He could stand that happening more often.

Vignette Five - The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well

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Sugar Cube Corner was rarely without a healthy amount of patronage, but today it was packed with a small troupe of ponies in rainbow caps and multicolored wigs, the odd journalist and an appropriately-dressed dragon among them. All of them were looking up in rapt attention at the prismatic pegasus before them as she strutted down the tabletop, filled with confidence as she recounted her story.

“And then I zoomed down the well, scooped up that little baby in my hooves, and carried her out to safety.” Rainbow Dash grinned with satisfaction and continued, “I knew it would be dark and dangerous, but I didn’t let that stop me, because danger is my middle name! Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash!” She held her head up high and concluded, “Thinking back on it, I acted pretty awesomely heroic that day.”

As Spike repeated her last few words and jotted them down in a notepad, a few ponies in the back looked on in dissatisfaction. “Awesomely heroic that day, an’ awesomely arrogant ever since.”

The ponies gathered with her nodded in agreement as Applejack found her surprised by the heroine of the hour dashing up to her and wrapping a foreleg about her neck. “Hey Applejack! How’d you like to be immortalized as my friend?”

The farmmare boggled as the gathered journalists, as well as a few of the young fans, immediately started with their cameras.

With some disapproval, Twilight Sparkle moved towards her young assistant. “Are you seriously taking notes?”

“Yup!” The dragon beamed as he explained, “I’ve been hoof-picked by Rainbow Dash herself to write her autobiography!”

The unicorn’s eyes tabled. “Autobiographies are supposed to be written by the pony they are about.”

Rainbow Dash laughed. “Maybe for your normal, run-of-the-mill ponies, but I’m way too busy saving lives to stop and write.” She gently patted Spike upon his fedora-clad head and added, “That’s why I hired Spike as my ghost writer.”

Pinkie Pie yelped. “Spike’s a ghost!”

Rarity took hold of the pink party pony with a frown. “That’s not what the term means, darling.”

An exhale of relief. “Good. I don’t wanna throw a wake.”

“…yeah. Anyway, Spike writes down everything I say, and that way, I can stay focused on performing all these awesome acts of bravery that nopony else has the guts to perform.”

Twilight Sparkle frowned as she stepped forward. “Rainbow, nopony here is saying that what you’ve done isn’t something to be happy about, but don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far?” At her friend’s surprised expression, she elaborated, “I mean yes, you’ve helped ponies out and saved them from getting hurt, but there are plenty of other ponies who do the same, and they don’t milk for all it’s worth.”

The prismatic pegasus laughed. “Yeah, fine, but where were they when those ponies needed help? I didn’t see anypony else come to their rescue! No cops, no Royal Guards, just me!” She grinned as she turned back to her audience and declared, “And stuff like that takes guts! Brains! And sometimes a big lunch and a nap! Being a hero isn’t for everypony, but me? I’m up to the challenge!”

As Rainbow Dash continued to take snapshots with her fans, Twilight scowled, with the rest of her friends soon following her.

A few hours later saw Rainbow Dash signing autographs for a number of her fans, with the enthusiastic filly at the front accepting her signed photo with a smile. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash! Someday, I wanna be just like you!”

The prismatic pegasus grinned. “Don’t be afraid to aim high, kid, but know your limits.”

A scream rang out, and heads turned as, high above Ponyville, a punctured hot air balloon was plummeting downwards, Cherry Berry inside the basket and crying out for help. Gasps of shock rang out among the crowd, and heads turned back to Rainbow Dash as she was back at her autographs, albeit at a faster pace than before.

Lone among the crowd, Snips worriedly asked, “Don’t you think you should go and help?”

“I’ve got a good ten seconds, don’t worry.” She finished the photograph, then took flight, going fast but perhaps not as fast as she could to intercept the falling pony.

The crowd was tense as the scene unfolded. Few noticed Twilight in the crowd, her horn glowing as she readied a spell to slow the balloon’s descent, but a growing number caught sight of a dark figure as it darted across Ponyville’s rooftops. As the basket got dangerously close to the ground, the newcomer scooped Cherry Berry from the basket and out of danger. Rainbow Dash made a sudden stop as the balloon crashed to the ground, then watched as the new rescuer skidded to a halt and deposited their charge nearby, much to the delight of the cheering crowd, then darted onto a rooftop with a dramatic flourish of their cape.

“Sweet Celestia, that pony came outta nowhere!” A stallion looked about the crowd and called, “Who was that mysterious mare?”

“A new hero for Ponyville!” Heads turned as Mayor Mare appeared from nowhere and declared, “A mysterious mare who has done well by our fair city! I hereby dub this new masked hero, ‘The Mysterious Mare Do Well’!”

Much of the crowd cheered, but Rainbow Dash hovered nearby and crossed her hooves in displeasure. “Mare Do Well, huh? Well, that mare would do well to stay outta my way! Ponyville’s only got room for one hero, and that’s me!”

Within the next few days, a whirlwind of excitement had built up around Mare Do Well, discussion around town rarely straying far from the subject with each escapade and spectacle that they’d taken part in.

“Did you see Mare Do Well stop that runaway carriage? That took some amazing strength!”

“I saw Mare Do Well save all those construction workers when that crane malfunctioned! So fast, so agile!”

“I saw her patch up the dam with magic after it burst, and then I saw her fly away from the scene! It was amazing!” Daisy gasped and wondered aloud, “Do you think Mare Do Well could be an alicorn?!”

Rainbow Dash grumbled as she walked past the flower ponies’ stand. She’d seen all of that too, and every time, Mare Do Well had shown her up, pulled off all those stunts and saved all those ponies! It was like she’d known all that stuff was going to happen in advance! How dare she?!

But no way was Mare Do Well an alicorn. Equestria only had three of them, and they were all too big and too long in the leg to fit into that costume. No, there was another explanation, and the more she stewed over it, the more steamed she became as she stomped her way towards Sugar Cube Corner, confident that she’d find the ones responsible there.

As she reached the door and was about to throw it open, however, she stopped, and a tiny thought nagged at the back of her mind. What if she was wrong? She was already angry over the idea in her head, and as lousy as she’d feel about being right, how much lousier would she feel if she was wrong? As much as she wanted to charge in, she had to take a different tact.

She pushed open the door, and all of her friends looked at her in surprise, with Applejack raising an eyebrow. “You alright, Dash? You’re lookin’ awful steamed ‘bout somethin’.”

“Just got a lot on my mind.” She slowly walked in, consciously making an effort to not stomp her hooves, and kept her voice at an even level as she asked, “Girls, I’m gonna say this once, so please, give me a yes or no answer and don’t lie to my face. Are you guys Mare Do Well?”

Her friends looked at one another in shock before Applejack answered, “No! We ain’t! What in tarnation…?!”

“Good.” Rainbow sat down in a slump. “That’s good.”

More confused than anything, Twilight stepped forward and asked, “Rainbow Dash, what in Equestria could make you think that we were all Mare Do Well?”

“Because there’s no way everything she’s done could be done by one mare! But all of you together?!” She rounded on Rarity as she reasoned, “You could’ve easily made the costumes! You’ve got our measurements thanks to the Grand Galloping Gala!” Then to Pinkie Pie. “And that jumping around from rooftop to rooftop, and that rescue on the construction site?! Pinkie Sense would’ve made that a snap!” Then to Applejack. “And how many ponies would have the strength needed to stop that runaway carriage?!” Then to Twilight. “And that magic to fix the dam?!”

A shocked look was on Fluttershy’s face as she stepped forward. “But we’d be terrible friends if we did something like that!”

“I know! And I feel terrible for accusing you! But I’m sick of getting shown up like this, and all of you were acting like you had a problem with me being the hero! It made sense! Too much sense, and…!” She finally slumped forward and buried her head in her hooves in a fruitless attempt to conceal her anger and shame.

Twilight frowned and gently laid a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Rainbow Dash, I won’t say that I disagree with your logic. None of us are happy about the way you’ve been acting, both right before Mare Do Well showed up and since, but that doesn’t mean we’d go and pull a stunt like that.”

Still a little shaken, Rainbow Dash looked up and tried her best not to sound bitter. “Well, don’t you guys want me to help out? Save ponies?”

“Helpin’ out an’ savin’ ponies ain’t the problem, Dash. The problem is that you got a big head over it, bigger’n normal, struttin’ yer stuff like some high an’ mighty peacock.” Applejack scowled. “Reminded me just a little too much a’ that Trixie from a while back.”

That got the prismatic pegasus’ dander back up. “Hey! You were…!”

“Both of you! We’re getting off topic!” Twilight frowned at both of them and quietly noted, “And we’ll be having a talk about everything with Trixie later.” She then turned her attention back to Rainbow Dash. “Anyway, you remember what I was saying about other ponies helping out and saving ponies and averting disasters? How many of them do you think act like they deserve adulation just because they’re doing what they’re supposed to do? What they’re trained to do? A Royal Guard doesn’t do what they do for the fame or cheers. It’s a dangerous, thankless job, and they do it because it’s the right thing to do. And they don’t get a big head over it.” She frowned and admitted, “And while I admit, we could all have chipped in and played the part of Mare Do Well as you’ve suggested, none of us did.”

“Indeed.” Rarity stepped forward with a displeased look on her face. “And while I’m glad that you didn’t outright accuse us of taking on that identity, the fact that you’re clearly ashamed of having done so says a great deal. Regardless, your behavior during all of this and your reaction to Mare Do Well has been rather appalling. You’ve been acting like some spoiled, immature foal desperate for attention.”

Rainbow almost protested that, but instead quietly turned to Fluttershy and asked, “Have I?”

The yellow pegasus somberly nodded. “Yes, you have.”

“Like we were sayin’, there ain’t nuthin’ wrong with bein’ proud’a yerself, or helpin’ folks. Ain’t nopony who’d fault ya for it, neither. But after a while, we were startin’ to worry about why you were doin’ it.”

Rainbow Dash turned shamefaced as she tried to sit up. “It wasn’t about attention. Not at first, anyway. But that attention felt really good, and…” She bowed her head for a moment, then raised it again. “But why didn’t you guys just come to be about this before now?”

Twilight turned sad as she asked, “Would you have listened, after being on an attention high like that?”

The prismatic pegasus huffed. “Good point.” She looked them over as she admitted, “I don’t know why Mare Do Well decided to show up here and now, but I don’t think that matters. You guys must be mad as Tartarus with me.”

Fluttershy frowned. “No, more disappointed than anything.”

“Yeah, can’t blame you.” Dash turned around and mumbled, “Sorry guys. I need to be alone for a little bit.”

As her friend exited the shop and flew off, Twilight frowned. “It’s a good thing we really aren’t Mare Do Well, otherwise we’d be in really deep trouble right now.”

“Does raise the question of who it is under that mask.” Applejack looked among her friends as she explained, “Dash was probably right, an’ it’s more’n one pony, but somethin’ tells me we won’t ever know who they are.”

“And a part of me fears that the townsponies will simply forget all of this once Mare Do Well disappears for a while.” At her friend’s glances, Rarity explained, “What? I can’t be the only one who notices that we occasionally have rather short memories regarding certain topics.”

“Maybe in this case it’s for the best, but hopefully, Rainbow Dash won’t let anything go to her head again.” She then frowned and turned to Rarity and Applejack. “Now, as far as Trixie goes…”

“‘Dear Princess Celestia, I wish I could say I learned this lesson in a better way, but I didn’t. These last few days, I’ve been riding high on being a hero, only for all of that to go away once somepony else came along, somepony in a mask and cape. I got so caught up in my envy over not being everypony’s hero anymore that I ended up accusing my friends of trying to upstage me, and it’s gonna be a long time before they forgive me for that. It’s great to be good at something, but not so much when you rub it in everyone’s faces, and there’s no shame in admitting when someone else is better than you. Your loyal and very ashamed subject, Rainbow Dash’.” The stone-faced unicorn stallion looked up from the letter at the four ponies standing in line before him. “It seems we’ve had another deviation from what we were told would happen. Five times so far FROWN has failed to follow what we were told would be the normal progression of events, but fortunately, we have salvaged the situation well enough. Harmony is restored.”

Rainbow Dash, as it turned out, had been right – more than one pony had played the role of Mare Do Well. Four mares stood before the stallion, all identical in their costumes. As one, they turned about and marched out of the room, heading single-file along a hallway into a changing room, where they each removed their outfits and set them aside. The costumes would be burned, and records of the incident would be set aside and locked away, likely never to be seen again. As for the ponies themselves, none outside of the agency’s highest levels would know their identities. They were invisible, unseen, as easily forgotten and dismissed as déjà vu, and as they filed out of the room, nopony who passed by paid them any mind.

None noticed their glazed-over expressions. It was a common sight, after all, and not worth any notice.

The four ponies made their way out of the nondescript building in Canterlot, and broke off. One in particular made her way to Restaurant Row, and her arctic blue eyes regained focus just as a pair of voices called out to her.

“Bonnie!”

“Auntie Bon-Bon!”

Sweetie Drops felt as though she was waking up from a dream, then smiled to greet the two ponies rushing towards her. “Hey you two! Glad you could make it!” She hugged the smallest of the two tight and smiled. “You ready for our big day in Canterlot, Twist?”

The frizzy-maned little filly beamed. “Uh-huh! And I can’t wait to tell you about everything that’th happened in Ponyville while you were away!”

Lyra laughed. “Yeah, it’s been a crazy week.”

The candy mare sighed. “I’m sorry that I missed it. All my time here in Canterlot feels like it’s gone by in a haze, but that’s all the more reason to have some fun with the two of you.” She grinned and offered, “So come on, let’s get started with a nice meal.”

The three ponies laughed and made their way through the city. The topic of Mare Do Well would turn up, but it would soon be forgotten, and Agent Sweetie Drops of SMILE would be none the wiser about her role in it.

Author's Notes:

The original episode, written by Merriweather Williams, is one of the most controversial in the show's run. So controversial, in fact, that the writers are hesitant to talk about it even years after it aired. The lesson itself isn't bad, that the safety of others is more important than one's own ego, but the way it was presented, coupled with the stupid actions taken by the characters, have hurt it. And yes, I'm understating things.

A lot went into this one, and there were other alternatives. One initial idea was that Twilight would try to calmly talk Rainbow Dash down, only for Dash to piss Twilight off by accident (likely by accidentally insulting Shining Armor) and lead to her spearheading the Mare-Do-Well campaign, but I decided that doing so would be out of character for Twilight, so that was put aside. Another version was closer to this, where Rainbow Dash's confrontation with the rest of the Mane Six would've been far more aggressive on her end, but I opted to tone it down. Another idea that only occurred to me after I'd finished this (and discussed it with Final Legend Zero) was for Mare-Do-Well to not even become a thing, and for Twilight to save Cherry Berry and lead to pretty much the same outcome. In many ways, I like that idea more, though this version at least gives me the chance to set things in motion on another plot thread to come.

Q&A, Part Two

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“Here we go again, everyone.” The chatter surrounding him died down as Quiver Quill prepped another set of flashcards and took in the gathered ponies and humans. “Time for another Q and A session…” He paused as his sight came upon a trio of outrageously-dressed teenage girls, each one with a ruby pendant about their necks, and his eyes narrowed dangerously. “What are you three doing here? Your story isn’t even finished, much less posted.”

Adagio Dazzle smirked from her seat as she treated the folding chair no differently from a throne. “Loopholes, stallion. The story might not be up yet, but there’s previews out for it.” She gave him a seductive glance and added, “Anything else you’d like to say about that?”

A steel blade found itself a hair’s breadth away from her nose, and the siren turned to see Sunrunner glaring at her. “Watch yourself, Twiggy. It’s not too late for you to get retconned out of existence.”

A terrified gasp went up from one of the other sirens. “Oh no! I don’t wanna get retconned! I’m too adorable to get retconned!”

Aria Blaze raised an eyebrow at her blue-haired associate’s protest. “Do you even know what the word ‘retcon’ means?”

“No,” Sonata Dusk whimpered, “but I probably won’t like it!”

Quiver cleared his throat. “Anyway, moving on. Our first set of questions comes from the reader ‘Comickook’, and are directed to Princess Celestia.” He turned to the Princess of the Sun and asked, “First, ‘considering your experience with other universes, have you ever been curious as to the possibility of a universe where you actually managed to successfully get through to Sunset before she left Equestria and you were able to train both her and Twilight side-by-side?’”

The alicorn took on a sad expression as her gaze went to her two most recent personal students. “I’ll admit, the thought has crossed my mind on more than one occasion. And I do like to think there was at least one world where no mistakes were made, where everything went right, and Sunset not only remained in Equestria but could well have become another surrogate older sister to Twilight, much as Cadance did. Unfortunately, due to many mistakes on my part, that didn’t happen in our version of events.” She bowed her head and added, “More’s the pity.”

The stallion nodded. “Second, ‘considering Twilight had five ponies in her study group, do you think it would have been possible for you to gently encourage Twilight to gradually develop real friendships with them that, if developed properly, would allow them to activate the Elements of Harmony years before Nightmare Moon returned? I mean, yes, they’re all unicorns and there might be some sort of unknown rule that the Element Bearers have to have fair representation from all three tribes. But if there is such a rule, I sure as heck don’t know about it.’” He looked up and asked, “Is there such a rule?”

Luna rolled her eyes. “In all truth, we have no more control over who gets chosen to bear a particular Element than we do over…well, the few natural forces that are beyond ponies’ control. ‘Tis a miracle that I and my sister were able to wield them against Discord.”

The draconequus in question rolled his eyes as he juggled tacos, much to Sonata’s rapt attention. “From your perspective, anyway.”

“We’re veering off-topic.” Celestia sat up and explained, “There’s every chance that Twilight’s classmates at the School for Gifted Unicorns could have become bearers of the Elements of Harmony, had the circumstances been right. With that being said, however, friendships are something that occur naturally, on their own, and Twilight could have just as easily ignored my gentle encouragement to focus upon her studies.” The lavender alicorn took on an ashamed expression at that admission as her mentor continued, “A potentially infinite number of factors led to Twilight and her friends being in the right place at the right time, and I’ve no way of knowing how things could have gone otherwise.”

Quiver nodded and read off the final question. “And three, ‘Why didn’t you send Cadance to Ponyville instead of Twilight? Mind you, Twilight does a pretty good job (most of the time)…’”

“Most?” Twilight whimpered.

“Their words, not mine.” Quiver then continued the question. “‘…But it seems to me that the Alicorn of Love would be a pretty good candidate for bearer of the Element of Magic. After all, the Element of Magic is also the Element of Friendship and what is love but merely friendship intensified? Again, this is not meant as a complaint concerning Twilight’s performance (which is quite good the considerable majority of the time), but merely asked out of pure curiosity.”

Celestia nodded. “Well, for starters, ‘Magic’ and ‘Friendship’ are not interchangeable, and nor are they meant to be. A true friendship, built from the virtues represented by the Elements, creates a powerful magic all its own, but one does not need friendship to levitate a ball, nor magic to form a bond with another pony.”

“Second, love isn’t an intensified form of friendship.” Cadance sat up and explained, “Love binds ponies together, yes, and the two things are very close, but they are not the same thing. Finally, I wasn’t sent to Ponyville because I wasn’t the right pony for that job. Twilight was.”

“Indeed. Nightmare Moon would have been a greater danger had Cadance been present instead of Twilight.” Luna frowned as she admitted, “The perception of rejection is one thing, but the perception of outright replacement is another entirely. Twilight’s odds of success were far greater than Cadance’s were, if only because Nightmare Moon was more likely to underestimate her, and less likely to kill her on the spot or banish her to the Moon.”

Pinkie raised a hoof. “And that would be bad either way.”

General murmurs of agreement went up before Quiver noted, “Okay then, moving on. This question comes from Mugen Kagemaru, who asks Pinkie Pie…” The stallion went pale as he asked, “‘What’s in the cellar, and has Rainbow Dash ever been down there?’”

“Oh she’s been…!” The realization struck the party pony as she took on a quiet, sober tone. “Is…is that a ‘Cupcakes’ question?” Her mane deflated as she turned sad. “What kind of sad, ill person comes up with a story like that? I don’t kill things and turn them into cupcakes! I’m crazy about making people happy, not about making them dead!”

Her human counterpart took her into a comforting hug. “We know that, Pinkie. Anyone who’s into torture porn really needs therapy. And maybe medication.”

“Yeah, definitely meds.” Rainbow Dash got comfortable as she added, “And hopefully that’s the last of questions like that. We don’t need anyone asking Fluttershy about her shed…”

“I don’t have one!” the yellow pegasus protested.

“Or me about…” The prismatic pegasus noticed the frown on Quiver’s face and whimpered, “Oh no…”

“First question from FinalLegendZero for Rainbow Dash. ‘What are rainbows made of in the Quiververse?’”

The athlete facehoofed and grumbled, “Not dead ponies, that’s for sure.” She sighed and admitted, “Look, a lot of stuff goes into making rainbows, but mostly water and magic. The exact stuff is kind of a secret, but it definitely doesn’t involve anypony getting killed.”

“Thank the Maker for that.” The stallion turned back to the elder alicorn and continued, “The remaining questions from him are for you, Princess Celestia, and come from honest curiosity. These aren’t trick questions or veiled accusations.”

The princess sighed in relief. “Very well. Ask away.”

Quiver cleared his throat. “‘First, when was it that you started to transition Equestria’s government from Rule of Alicorn to Rule of Law, and what was it that convinced you to do so?”

A nod. “The transition began shortly after Luna was taken by the Nightmare and transformed into Nightmare Moon. Further details shall be elaborated upon later, but for now, I’ll say that I feared that absolute power would corrupt me absolutely, and leave it at that.”

“Alright. ‘Second, I know that you’re one of the few Celestias across the multiverse honest enough to not style yourself as a goddess, but are there any groups that worship you and/or the other alicorns in your version of Equestria despite this?’”

Celestia bowed her head. “Regrettably, yes. For a brief time during my period ruling Equestria alone, there were several cults that came to worship me as a goddess. I had to resort to very drastic steps to demonstrate how incorrect they were in their beliefs, but I was nonetheless successful. One reason I’m glad that there are four of us now, with potentially more on the way, is that you’re far less likely to view something as divine if you see it walking down the street every day.”

“And that’s assuming you aren’t blind to their faults and failings.”

The princess nodded at Sunrunner’s summation before Quiver continued, “Next come questions from diablo4000. They ask, ‘what the heck Applejack was thinking when she said the lesson she learned after beating Flim and Flam was that she was right all along.’” At the farmpony’s sharp expression of protest, he continued, “And he goes on to say, ‘Maybe in truth it’s stop being stubborn, don’t let pride trick you in a bet that involves land that was given to your family by a goddess and let others help you. Did she get in big trouble for that and did her family as well?’”

Celestia raised a hoof before the Apples could chime in. “First of all, as previously stated, not a goddess.”

“Second a’ all, Ah wuz the one who took that bet with those swindlers, not Applejack.” Granny Smith narrowed her eyes. “Blame where blame’s due.”

“An’ finally, the lesson was that quality speaks for itself, an’ that you shouldn’t be afraid to call on your friends an’ family when ya need help.” Applejack took on a smug look as she noted, “An’ hard work is always better’n takin’ shortcuts with some fancy gadget.” She noticed the glare on Quiver’s face. “What?”

“You and I are going to have a talk about that, but it’s not going to be here and now.” The stallion cleared his throat and continued on. “The next question is for Twilight. ‘What the heck were you thinking trying to perform a reformation spell on Discord, given the hypocrisy involved? Discord was considered evil for turning ponies into the opposite of themselves against their wills, yet it’s okay for you do to the same to him?’ And he goes on to elaborate on the potential consequences of such an act backfiring given Discord’s powers and abilities.”

“Oh my, what a pertinent question.” Discord gave the lavender alicorn a toothy grin. “And I must say, that was horribly hypocritical of you. Then again, you do have a tendency towards mental manipulation, so I can’t really say…”

Fluttershy quietly cleared her throat. “Discord, you’re being mean.”

Twilight had a foul expression on her face as she answered. “Yes, that was horribly hypocritical of me. But I was frightened and desperate, and as much as I trusted Fluttershy, and still do, I had little confidence in her ability to reform Discord through her own devices. Discord was unrepentant for his previous actions.”

“And still is.” Applejack noted with a glare towards the draconequus.

“And yes, that doesn’t justify the use of mind-altering magic on my part. But like I said, frightened and desperate.” Twilight took a deep breath. “I’d elaborate further, but something tells me that would fall into spoiler territory for future stories.”

“That it would.” Quiver moved on to the next question. “Finally, he poses the HHHNNNGGHH Challenge to everyone and everypony present, to see if they can withstand high levels of cuteness and feels. His words, not mine.” He shrugged. “I don’t think anyone has a problem with that, do you?”

General murmurs of agreement sounded as Sweetie Belle chirped, “If you believe a certain hippogriff, I might have given them some resistance to that sort of thing, though.”

“Probably not all of us,” whimpered the human version of Rarity.

Sonata raised a hand. “Question! Will it include pictures of penguins?” Heads turned to her as she asked, “What? Penguins are adorable!” She then gave a toothy grin and added, “Like me!”

Quiver grinned. “You do have a point.” He continued on as Sonata clapped gleefully. “Finally, some questions from one Scholarly-Cimmerian. First, for Princess Twilight – ‘One thing I’ve often been curious about is how you got into the Daring Do series of books. Some stories I read have your mother as an editor for A. K. Yearling, and that’s where the introduction to the series began. Does that hold true in this universe as well, or was it simply because you just liked books in general that much?’”

“Oh!” Twilight giggled. “Well, I can confirm that my mom is the editor for the Daring Do series in this storyline, yes. I thought that had been mentioned already, in fact. As for my actual introduction, well, during her editing, my mother would read the polished drafts of the first book to me before bedtime. Testing the waters with a young reader never hurt, after all.”

Quiver laughed and continued, “Their next question is also for Twilight. ‘What are your current thoughts on Trixie Lulamoon? Do you consider the hatchet buried, so to speak?’”

“Truthfully, that might be a better question for Trixie.” Twilight smiled and admitted, “For my part, however, the only issues I had with Trixie were the actions she committed while in possession of the Alicorn Amulet. Between her apology and the actions she’s taken since, I’m content to forgive her.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Speak for yerself, Twi. Ah’m still a touch sore over all that.”

“Well I’ve forgiven her at least. She certainly didn’t have to return to Ponyville in order to aid us when I was possessed by the Nightmare.” Rarity held a hoof to her mouth. “Oh dear. Does that count as a spoiler?”

“Only if they haven’t seen the timeline.” The stallion then continued on. “The next question is for Spike. ‘What got you into comic books? I ask because I’m a big fan of superhero stories myself.’”

“Awesome!” At Quiver’s raised eyebrow, Spike chuckled. “Sorry. More to the question, I guess.”

“Yep. ‘Was it on your own, or did you discover comics thanks to someone else, like Shining Armor? Apologies to Twilight, but I can’t ever see her as interested in such a thing as comics.’”

Twilight’s ears drooped as she whimpered, “Well in my defense, there’s so much literature available that doesn’t count as a comic book to go through.”

Spike rolled his eyes with a grin. “Yeah, you can pretty much thank Shining Armor for getting me into comics, and comics for getting me into reading in general. And don’t be too hard on Twilight – the Power Ponies series is relatively new, at least in Equestria.”

“Relatively new in the human world too, FYI,” the human Rainbow Dash chimed in. “And pretty much an affectionate parody of other hero teams like the Justice League and the Avengers, though something tells me they won’t get a movie anytime soon.”

“If they do, I hope it’s more like the latter than the former.” Quiver cleared his throat and continued on. “Next question’s for the pony CMC. ‘I apologize for the heavy question, but in light of recent events, I do want to ask – where exactly do you stand on Diamond Tiara?’”

The three fillies looked between themselves before Apple Bloom spoke up. “Well, findin’ out how bad her mom was did make us a little more sympathetic. But that don’t really excuse her callin’ us blank flanks for so long.”

“Or calling me a cripple.” Scootaloo sourly noted.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Or everything with Gabby Gums or any other trouble she’s caused us.”

Their unofficial leader nodded. “Basically, we’ve accepted her apology, but we’re mostly takin’ things day by day fer now.”

Quiver nodded. “And one last question for Sunset Shimmer and the Rainbooms. ‘This is me being facetious, and I do apologize for joking about the matter, but I just have to know – exactly how sick are you of hearing about the Anon-A-Miss debacle?’”

The six teenagers groaned almost in unison as the human Applejack explained, “Probably ‘bout as sick as the author is a’ seein’ crazy Anon-A-Miss stories an’ scenarios.”

“Yeah, no one enjoys being reminded of how much they screwed up, especially when it was no one’s fault but their own and no one lets them forget about it.” The human Rainbow Dash frowned as she noted, “Needless to say, we’re gonna be a little more sensitive about the Fall Formal from here on.”

“And I appreciate that.” Sunset sighed. “Still, I’m glad that some have allowed us to move on, even if others haven’t.”

Quiver frowned. “Too many of the latter for my liking.” He put aside the questions and concluded, “That’s it for now. We look forward to further questions come the next session, though there’s no guarantee that’ll come next year.”

“Yeah, we might wanna wait until we pass the twenty-story mark before we do another’a these things.” Applejack grinned. “More material fer the readers to work with an’ all.”

Quiver nodded. “Couldn’t have said it better.”

Vignette Six - Owl's Well That Ends Well

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“Mom, stop.”

“I’m sorry, Twilight, really, but…” Twilight Velvet did her best to restrain her giggles as her daughter led her into her new home, but it was a losing battle. “You got your wish!”

Twilight Sparkle let out an aggravated and embarrassed sigh. “You never let that go.”

“Well dearie, when your children make cute wishes about living in a library, you’ll tease them about it too.” Her giggle-fit having subsided, Velvet took a look about the place with approval. “And this is a very nice library. I wish your father had been able to come visit, but…”

“But he’s awfully busy for an astronomer, I know.” Twilight managed a sad sigh as she busied herself with making tea. “And truthfully, I’m glad that you were the only one who came. I don’t think I can deal with talking about this with both of you.”

What mirth faded from her face as Velvet found a place around a table and waited for her daughter to finish making their tea. As cups and kettle were brought over and the drink was poured, she took up her cup in her hooves, breathed in the aroma, and finally got down to business. “Alright, what’s wrong?”

Twilight frowned. “I think I’m being a horrible caregiver to Spike. Again.” What followed was a short story involving an owl, a runaway baby dragon, an escape during the night from an enraged, full-grown dragon, and perhaps a very insensitive pony. “Mom, Spike ran away because I was giving more time and attention to a new pet. And worse, I didn’t even realize it right away. He’s more than a friend to me, he’s practically a baby brother, and…” She let out a regretful groan. “I feel just like I did those first few days at Celestia’s school. I thought looking after him now would be easier, and then this happened.”

Velvet gave her daughter a sympathetic smile. “Twilight, let me tell you a few things right now. First, looking after a child, being anything even remotely resembling a parent, isn’t easy, and it doesn’t get easier no matter how many children you have. The best thing that you can do is try to learn from it, and be a little more receptive to what Spike needs.”

The daughter gave her mother a worried expression as she raised her head and asked, “And second?”

“And second, as much as I know this won’t help, you’re not the only one who’s failed Spike at some point.” She turned regretful as she admitted, “You’re likely fourth on the list at this point.”

Twilight blinked. “Fourth.”

“Spike’s original parents who either lost or abandoned his egg, Princess Celestia, me, and then you.” At her daughter’s dumbfounded look, she explained, “Twilight, there are only so many ways that the egg Spike hatched from could have ended up as part of that test. I doubt a pony went into the Dragon Lands and stole his egg before it could hatch.”

“And Celestia?”

“Twilight, what did she do with Spike after he hatched? She passed on the responsibility of raising him to you, a filly who’d just barely earned her cutie mark and was just starting as her personal student. Sure, she said that she’d help you raise him, but from the sounds of things, she failed to do exactly that. I don’t care if she was trying to get you to grow as a pony or however she wanted to see it, that was far too much to put on you too quickly, and I told her so myself.”

A shocked gasp escaped her daughter’s lips. “Mom! You questioned Princess Celestia?!”

“No, I called her out for making a terrible mistake and absolutely failing you as a mentor and teacher, and when she tried to cover her plot and say that she was trying to teach you a lesson, I told her where to shove it.” She raised her hooves and held them a hair’s breadth apart. “Came this close to slapping her across the muzzle and pulling you out of that school.”

Twilight stared at her mother in wide-eyed disbelief, words puttering on her lips and failing to form until she pieced together, “But… you… she…”

“Twilight, Princess Celestia is many things. She’s your mentor. She’s our sovereign. She’s the pony who raises and lowers the sun. But there’s one thing that she isn’t – your mother. And your mother is going to do what she needs to in order to look after her babies when they need her help. And when I saw you at that High Tea and realized how much trouble you were having, well, I had to do something.” A half-smile formed as she asked, “That’s why Spike started living with us. Why I took over raising him, until I thought you were better equipped to look after him.” She sighed and admitted, “And I’m not gonna say I did a perfect job either.”

“Mom, no, don’t say that! You and Dad were amazing parents!” Twilight turned nervous as she admitted, “I mean, I’ve always worried about failing Celestia or my friends, but you? Dad? Shiny? I’ve never worried about that. I know that you all love me, and that you’re proud of me.”

“And we are, Twily. Don’t you forget that.” Velvet sighed as she admitted, “But there’s still times where it feels like we failed Spike. Not formally adopting him despite all our efforts to try, for one thing.” She grumbled something about red tape before moving on. “And the Sibling Supreme for another.”

“He took part.”

“He kept score, Twilight. That’s what your father and I should have done, for all three of you. We raised him, home-schooled him, helped him to become the wonderful young drake he is now, but we never officially called him son, and I’m always going to feel terrible about that.” She bowed her head and noted, “Maker only knows how he feels.”

An uncomfortable silence formed before Twilight finally ventured to end it. “Why didn’t you pull me out of the School for Gifted Unicorns? After all that? Was taking Spike in…?”

“Twilight, I’d have taken Spike in regardless of what happened with you at that school. You stayed there because Celestia had the good sense to admit that she’d made a mistake, and because she made a very passionate plea for you to stay.” She frowned and admitted, “And also because something told me that if we’d pulled you out, it would’ve destroyed you. Can you blame me for not wanting to see that?”

Twilight sighed. “No. And as much as I hate to think it, you probably did the right thing calling Celestia out like that.”

“Damn right I did.”

Twilight could barely roll her eyes at her mother before the library door opened. “Hey Twilight! Sofas and Quills finally restocked! I think I’ve got enough to last you a little…” The two turned to find a familiar little dragon standing at the door in surprise before he called out, “Velvet!”

“Spike!” His cargo was put aside as the mare rushed towards him and took him into a tight embrace. “Oh it is so good to see you! What were you doing, running off like that?!” She loosened her hold and gently ran a hoof across his coxcomb. “And what’s wrong with calling me ‘Mom’?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” He gave an embarrassed look. “Sorry.”

That just prompted another hug. “Don’t be, dear.”

Twilight approached and joined in on the hug, suddenly awash with sadness for both Spike and her mother. Both accepted the embrace, though it only eased her mood by a small amount. Spike deserved better from her, and she was going to do all that she could to ensure that he got it.

Vignette Seven - Luna Eclipsed

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The first sign of anything amiss that the citizens of Ponyville noticed was the crowd of children screaming in terror, with Pinkie Pie leading their charge through the streets. This was swiftly followed by clouds rolling in, blocking out the moon and stars as a darkened chariot flew into the night’s sky drawn by a pair of thestrals. Twilight Sparkle and Spike arrived on the scene just as the chariot’s passenger made a soft landfall. Their head whipped back to reveal their identity as a horned pony mare, her coat dark blue and her eyes cyan, her mane a rippling sea of varying shades of blue and the odd sparkle like starlight.

“Citizens of Ponyville!” the mare called out with pride as her cloak broke apart and fluttered away like a swarm of bats to reveal her wings. “Your Princess of the Night has returned!”

A dramatic flash of lightning gave the gathered ponies a brief fright, but before the alicorn could question this, the crowd let out cheers of delight, many stamping their hooves in applause.

“Princess Luna!” Mayor Mare dashed to the princess as best she could in her floppy clown shoes. “What a surprise this is! To what do we owe the honor?”

“We thought it only fitting that we make our public debut here, Madame Mayor, as Ponyville is the hamlet nearest our restoration and return not half a year previous.” Luna smiled. “We are relieved that our entrance was so well-received, and anticipate taking part in the evening’s festivities.”

“And we are more than happy to have you, your Highness.”

The resultant cheers among the populace seemed to brighten the princess’s expression further, and she gestured upwards to the two thestrals pulling her chariot. They nodded and parked the craft nearby, then freed themselves from their harness and joined their princess. “Lieutenant Nocturne, Sergeant Echo, feel free to take part in the festivities, but remain mindful of yourselves. Dismissed.”

As Luna resumed pleasantries with the mayor, Spike looked at Twilight in surprise. “That’s Luna? Really?”

“Really, Spike.” Twilight smiled at the sight. She’d wondered how the princess was doing since the Summer Sun Celebration, how she’d been adjusting to how things had changed over the last thousand years, and clearly, she had adjusted reasonably well. Granted, she looked somewhat different from how she did previously, but that was hardly…

“Twilight Sparkle!” Luna had noticed the young unicorn and, having finished her pleasantries with the mayor, was now approaching. “We hoped that we would see you during this night’s revels! I must commend thee upon thine costume as well! A very good recreation of Star Swirl the Bearded!”

Awe filled the mare’s eyes. “Really?”

“Verily. The bells in particular are quite accurate.” She looked upon the young drake with some confusion. “Thine costume is also fair, young Spike.”

That prompted him to beam, “Thanks! I’m a dragon!”

Luna was briefly at a loss for words. “Indeed.” She then turned to Twilight and asked, “What of the other bearers of the Elements? Are they not also partaking of the festivities?”

Twilight turned nervous. “Pinkie Pie is leading some of the local colts and fillies in getting candy. You might’ve seen her from your carriage.”

A raised eyebrow. “The overly-large poultry?”

“Yes, that was her. Fluttershy’s staying in tonight, but everypony else is either already taking part or will be before the night’s end. Applejack’s already working on setting up some of the games for tonight.”

“Ah, games! Most excellent!” Luna gained an eager look. “Will you be taking part? May we join you?”

Twilight nodded. “Of course!”

“Excellent! Then we bid thee, kindly lead us there so that we may try them for ourselves!”

A fuzzy plush spider soon found itself sticking to a false web as Luna smiled with satisfaction. “’Tis a most enjoyable game, Applejack. Thou are to be commended for the sturdy construction of the netting in particular.”

The farmpony waved a dismissive hoof even as Twilight beamed at her in excitement. “Ain’t no issue, yer Highness. Puttin’ these together is simpler than makin’ applesauce.”

“Perhaps, but we shall not retract our statement.” She moved aside to allow another pony a turn and approached. “And please, such formalities are unnecessary. Thee and thine friends saved us, and by extension all of Equestria. Simply call us ‘Luna’.”

Applejack seemed a little nervous at this, but quickly relented. “Alright then, yer…Luna. Gotta say, yer takin’ to all’a this right nicely.”

“It helps that we heeded the advice of those close to us. Our sister in particular was clear in helping us with our approach, lest we end up taking things to far and frightening the citizenry. Had it not been for that, we would have made extensive use of the Royal Canterlot Voice.”

“Beg your pardon?” Spike asked between bites of candy corn.

“A method of maintaining attention used by myself and my sister in days of old, long out of disuse.” Luna looked about at the festivities, ponies laughing and enjoying themselves, and managed a sad smile. “In truth, we were concerned that regardless of our actions, we would frighten the citizens. ‘Tis pleasing that such was not the case. Our sister’s efforts on our behalf have clearly borne fruit.”

“Ah’m honestly a little surprised by how you look now.” At Twilight’s shocked expression, Applejack retorted, “What? Ah can’t be the only one wonderin’ over that!”

“Do not be outraged on our part, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack’s curiosity is valid.” Luna gestured to herself and explained, “How we appeared when last you saw us was a weakened state, a result of our long imprisonment and the influence of the dark powers we held. In the months since the Summer Sun Celebration, however, we have been regaining our strength and reclaiming our duties as Princess of the Night. Our current form is our true, proper one, which we had before we allowed ourselves to fall from grace and take on the mantle of Nightmare Moon. More intimidating, perhaps, but one hopes that with time, it will be less so in the eyes of the common pony, especially considering we are not quite at full growth.” The princess allowed herself a small grin as she admitted, “And perhaps we can adjust to modern forms of speech as well. We are still becoming accustomed to how language has evolved since our fall from grace.”

Applejack laughed. “Ah’d say yer off to a mighty fine start, Luna.”

“We are most grateful for thine words.” She then turned to Twilight and asked, “But now that thine curiosity has been sated, perhaps thou wouldst be so kind as to return the favor, as the modern parlance goes? Did our sister help thee with thine costume, Twilight Sparkle?”

“No, I actually designed this myself and had Rarity make it based off illustrations of Star Swirl.”

“Really? I am further impressed then with your insight, though I am certain Celestia would have been able to provide more details, given that he instructed us.”

Twilight gasped. “You knew Star Swirl?! He was your teacher?! And Celestia’s?!”

“Indeed, and he was an advisor to us long after we ceased to be under his direct tutelage.” The alicorn frowned. “We are surprised that Celestia never told you this, though given our sister neglected to mention the facts involving us…”

Before that train of thought could go any further, a startled cry sounded from the direction of the tubs of apples waiting to be bobbed for. The apples were now joined by a tiny piebald colt dressed as a pirate, who worked to keep his head above water.

Luna immediately sprang to action and rushed to aid the colt even as Pinkie Pie and her accompanying group of foals arrived. “Anypony seen Pip? We lost him somewhere between here and Fluttershy’s…” She then squawked and cried out, “Nightmare Moon is gobbling Pipsqueak! Everypony run!”

The foals with her screamed, and Pipsqueak, now freed from his watery predicament, struggled in Luna’s grip as she held him by the scruff of his neck. “Help! My backside has been gobbled!”

The princess dropped him in shock, then stepped back as the colt fled to rejoin Pinkie and her charges. “Wait, please children! There was no gobbling of…!” Her face fell. “…backsides.”

“Oh dear.” Twilight and Applejack turned to find that Rarity had joined them at last, adorned in a close-fitted Eastern-style outfit colored in varying shades of blue and false ears over her own and her mane restyled to stick out behind her. “I get the feeling I missed a great deal whilst fretting over my costume.”

“All that was missed, fair Rarity, was wasted effort on our part.” Luna rose and quietly made her way from the crowd, pausing only to note, “A commendable effort at Mistmane, by the way,” before she continued on.

Applejack groaned as the princess went out of earshot. “An’ things were goin’ so well! What was Pinkie thinkin’?”

Twilight’s gaze narrowed as she went after Pinkie and her herd of foals. “Good question.”

Pinkie and the foals continued to flee through the streets, making their way into an alleyway. Eventually, however, they discovered that they weren’t making much traction through the alley…or really any at all as they were floating in mid-air, their legs flailing below them.

Pinkie’s screaming halted, and she immediately started giggling. “This is fun!”

“Enjoy it while it lasts.” Twilight came marching up beneath them, her horn glowing brightly as she maintained her levitation spell. “Pinkie Pie, why are you acting like that?!”

“Well I thought that getting away from Nightmare Moon…”

“Pinkie, that wasn’t Nightmare Moon! That was Princess Luna! Nightmare Moon is gone! Destroyed! Vanquished!”

Pinkie stared at Twilight for a moment. “Well duh. I know that, Twilight. I was there, remember?”

“The way you’ve been acting tonight, I should be asking you that question.” She released Pinkie from her magic and let her drop to the ground with a thud. “Seriously Pinkie, what were you thinking?”

The party pony grinned. “I was thinking that I was having fun, and so were all the little foals!” The foals nodded in agreement.

“Well Princess Luna wasn’t.” Twilight groaned. “Pinkie, Luna spent a thousand years trapped within herself, a prisoner of Nightmare Moon. For a thousand years, legends grew around her moment of weakness that turned her into a monster that would take away the sun or gobble up children or…all sorts of other horrible things! Do you think she likes being reminded of all that? Would you like being reminded of all of that?!”

“Well no, of course…!” Pinkie paused, and the implications clicked into place. “Oh.” Her tail fell limp.

“Honestly Pinkie, Luna was having a good evening, enjoying herself, having fun, and then you came along and ruined it. It’s just a miracle that things weren’t any worse, or she might end up cancelling Nightmare Night.”

“Cancel Nightmare Night?” whimpered Pipsqueak.

Twilight suddenly realized that she’d gone a little too far, and gently lowered the foals to the ground. “Okay, she probably wouldn’t go nearly that far, but still, her feelings have been hurt, and she hasn’t done anything to deserve it.” The unicorn turned to her friend and frowned. “Now what do we do?”

“Find Luna and say we’re really sorry.”

Twilight nodded at Pinkie’s somber statement. “At minimum.”

It took very little time for Twilight to lead the humbled and remorseful group to Luna, despite the fact that she had retreated from the festivities to the Nightmare Moon statue. She sat before it with her head bowed, symbolically in the statue’s shadow.

“Princess Luna?” Pinkie Pie approached the alicorn with her head hung low, and softly laid her treat bag at the ground. “I’m really sorry about tonight.”

“We all are, your Highness.” Pipsqueak laid his bag beside Pinkie’s as the rest of the foals did likewise. “Please don’t cancel Nightmare Night because of what we did.”

“Cancel Nightmare Night?” Luna turned to face them, but her expression was not one of anger, or even disappointment. There was hurt there, yes, but surprise was dominant. “Nay children, that shall not happen.” She took up the foals’ bags and returned them to their owners. “Our place is not to grant unjust punishments, especially to those whose only sins are being caught up in their own enthusiasm, as well as that of others. Besides, you have already made thine offerings, and it would be wrong to claim more than has already been given.” Her attention turned to Pinkie Pie as her tone became more negative. “As for thee, Pinkie Pie, we are disappointed with thine actions. Wouldst thou like to explain thyself?”

“It was a joke,” the party pony meekly answered. “I thought you were playing along with it.”

“Well thine suppositions were inaccurate.” Luna gestured to the statue behind her and sadly noted, “We take no pleasure in being reminded of our mistakes, or in the damage wrought by them. We admit that we sought to create spectacle in keeping with the spirit of this holiday, but our intention was never to harm or frighten others. We have done enough of that.”

“But I thought Nightmare Moon was the bad one, not you,” Pipsqueak interjected.

Luna sighed. “It is…complicated.” Luna sat down again and explained, “A thousand years ago, I allowed myself to become resentful of my sister and the adoration she received from our subjects. That resentment festered in me, and allowed me to become vulnerable to the manipulations of a force of dark magic more terrible than any other. It consumed me, and the result…” She gestured towards the statue behind her. “Some would argue that I am in no way responsible for the actions of Nightmare Moon, but I disagree. I allowed that dark force to join with me in a moment of weakness, and left all of Equestria and its citizens victimized. That I was its first victim does not mitigate it.” She turned back to the group and explained, “And to make matters worse, this night is the anniversary of that terrible day one thousand years past. The holiday would come soon thereafter as a memorial of my loss, its traditions crafted over time and many influences, and now it was hoped that it would be a celebration of my return and the nightmare’s end. To imply even in jest that I would seek to encourage further terror is harmful.” She turned her attention on Pinkie Pie and added, “Though it appears you have realized this by now.”

Pinkie nodded.

“And we shall accept your apology, but recompense shall still be required.” The last treat bag was returned, and Pinkie looked up at the princess as she continued, “In a fortnight’s time, we shall be hosting a fete for the members of the Lunar Guard, in thanks for their devotion to our memory. It was our intent to place an order with thine employers to cater the event. This has not changed, but we shall make it conditional that thee shall complete the order thineself, without assistance from the Cakes or any of thine friends. Is this understood?”

Another nod. “Yes ma’am, but what’s a fortnight?”

“Two weeks,” Twilight helpfully translated.

“Oh.” Pinkie put on a hopeful smile as her mane and tail regained some of their curls. “I guess I can manage that.”

“We shall hold thee to thine word.” Luna took the mare into a gentle hug and added, “But we are confident that thou shall be successful.” The embrace ended and she rose to her hooves. “Now come, all of you! We’ve still festivities yet to enjoy!”

That seemed enough to bolster Pinkie’s spirits, and she led the foals back to town. Twilight and Luna followed behind as the unicorn admitted, “You handled that very well, Luna.”

“We were taught long ago that a gentle touch is often more effective than a harsh one, young Twilight, especially with those who are repentant. T’was true then, and remains so now, as I was reminded not six months ago.” The princess smiled and continued, “I and my sister will long be in your debt for what you have done for us personally and for Equestria as a whole, and that shall not change anytime soon.”

Twilight managed a nervous laugh. “Well, I don’t expect anything for what I’ve done, but if I could ask you something.” At her princess’s curious expression, she prodded, “What was Star Swirl like? In pony, I mean?”

Luna laughed. “He tended to be a harsh taskmaster, and there were often times where it felt as though he favored my sister over I. Still, he was a gifted mage, and I do have fond memories of him.” She turned wistful as she noted, “That he vanished shortly after I was consumed and banished does not sit well with me. I have not even found time to look into the mystery, I have been so busy attempting to acclimate to the modern era.”

An encouraging smile crossed the mare’s face. “Well, I’m sure that you’ll find the time somewhere down the road.”

“Or perhaps another will solve the mystery. Time will tell, as it always does.”

Vignette Eight - Too Many Pinkie Pies

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Twilight Sparkle had hoped for a quiet, peaceful day of practicing new spells. What she hadn’t anticipated was a growing crowd of ponies around Golden Oak Library, all of them coming to her with complaints about the same thing. “Okay everypony, please, let’s calm down and…!”

“Calm down?!” Rarity shouted in indignation. “I just had a Pinkie hurricane raging through my shop! It’s going to take forever to clean everything!”

“And they trashed our critter picnic,” Fluttershy remarked bitterly.

“And my chillaxing at the lake!” Rainbow Dash complained.

“And the barn raisin’!” Applejack shouted.

More angry shouts of complaint echoed through the crowd, which did little to help Twilight’s nerves. “Everypony please, hang on while I try to figure something out!” She dashed back into the library and closed the door behind her to find Spike and Owlowiscious already at work trying to find a solution. “Spike, we need to…!”

“Track down something related to that legend Pinkie Pie mentioned and hopefully find a way to deal with all these Clonie Pies! Already on it!” As he finished pulling books from one shelf, the young drake noticed an odd compartment in the back. “Huh. Never noticed this before.” He pressed a horseshoe-shaped button, and a panel slid upwards to reveal a book inside. He pulled it out and read the cover, then called, “Twilight! I think I have something!” She took it up with her magic as he wondered aloud, “No idea why it’d be in that compartment, though. I mean, wouldn’t you want to warn somepony about something like this?”

“Aha!” Twilight either didn’t hear his question or willfully ignored it in light of the greater problem as she called out in triumph. “‘The Legend of the Mirror Pond’! ‘Also known as the Mirror Pool, the magic of this spring allows any pony to create a duplicate of themselves when they recite a specific verse. Care must be taken, however, lest the duplicates end up creating duplicates of themselves.’”

“Hoo-hoo.” She looked up to find her Number Two Assistant giving her a raised brow and waving a wing as if encouraging her to move along.

“Right, sorry.” Twilight skimmed the entry in the book. “Okay, good news. All of those clones of Pinkie Pie aren’t true living beings. They’re semi-sapient magical constructs, capable of rudimentary learning but little more than an exaggerated approximation of the original’s core traits and personality. And the more copies are made, the greater those traits are exaggerated.”

“So, can we get rid of them?” Spike prodded anxiously.

“They’ll break down with time, but not soon enough to satisfy that mob outside or prevent any further chaos in Ponyville. Thankfully, there’s a spell here that will let me disperse their magic and send it back where it came from.” Her eyes widened in alarm. “Oh dear.” Before Spike could ask, she looked up and explained, “The dispersal spell could seriously injure any real pony that it’s used on. If I use it on the real Pinkie by mistake…”

“Okay, let’s stop right there, that’s all the information I need.” The less horror they dwelt upon, the better, as Spike made his way to the door and called, “Let’s go find the real Pinkie, make sure she’s separated from all the clones, and then make with the dispersing.”

They opened the door back onto the crowd, which thankfully hadn’t grown any since they’d retreated into the library, and Twilight called, “Does anypony here have a way that we can tell the real Pinkie Pie apart from all of the duplicates?”

The crowd looked amongst themselves and debated that question until a Pinkie Pie rushed to the head of the crowd. “Twilight! I gotta talk to you! I need your help!”

“Excuse me, whoever you are…” Another Pinkie Pie took up position at Twilight’s right and mirrored her gestures as she continued, “But I’m not talking to any of you Pinkies unless you’re the real Pinkie.”

“Well will you listen instead? Please?” The first Pinkie dropped to her knees, eyes wet with tears as she begged, “I’m really sorry about all of this! I didn’t want to miss out on any fun with my friends, but instead, making all of these extra Pinkies has just ruined all their fun!”

“Hey! Did somepony say ‘fun’?!” As if summoned by some unearthly force, the crowd of Pinkies joined the already alarmed crowd, each one chanting the word ‘Fun!’ repeatedly in excitement and seemingly popping out of thin air.

“Noooooo!” The first Pinkie screamed as she cried out in anguish. “Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!”

Twilight looked about at the spectacle before her, unsure what to do or where to start, until her eyes went back to the first Pinkie, teary-eyed and curled up in a fetal position with her mane going limp. Inspiration struck, and her horn glowed as she readied a spell. With a confident grin on her face, Twilight shot a burst of magic at the crying, screaming Pinkie, who promptly vanished.

That caused all of the other Pinkies to pause, and one tilted her head curiously. “Where did she go?”

“Did she go somewhere fun?” Another asked.

“She’s playing a game!” Twilight declared. “We all are! It’s called ‘Hide and Seek!’, and the goal is for all the Pinkies to hide in places all over Ponyville and try not to be found by me and my friends! The last Pinkie to be found gets a special prize!”

That prompted a gasp from all of the Pinkies before one declared, “Ooh! I like prizes!”

“I do too! Prizes are fun!”

“Betcha can’t find me!”

All of the Pinkies then rapidly scattered in every direction, leaving the townsfolk to turn to a grinning Twilight in frustration as one mare scowled. “How does that solve the problem?”

Twilight stepped aside and opened the door to Golden Oak Library as a Pinkie Pie stepped out with a bewildered look on her face. “It let me find the real Pinkie Pie. As much as she likes having fun, she hates having fun at the expense of somepony else’s enjoyment.”

“Omigosh Twilight, you’re right!” The lone Pinkie gave Twilight a warm hug and declared, “You saw how miserable I was about this, and how not-miserable all the other Pinkies were, and you figured it out!”

“Exactly.” Twilight conjured up a necklace and put it around her friend’s neck. “Now that we’ve determined that you’re the genuine article, we can round up all the duplicates and send them back where they came from.”

“Yay!” Pinkie stopped, then frowned. “Oh no, now I feel bad for all those poor Clonie Pies. I mean yeah, they caused trouble, but it’s not like they were doing it to be mean. They just don’t know any better.”

“Nopony said they were bad, Pinkie, but Ponyville can’t afford to have all of ‘em running around.” Applejack emerged from the crowd alongside the rest of her friends. “One Pinkie Pie is special, but more than that is just too much of a good thing.”

“Especially when the one Pinkie Pie knows how to have fun the right way.” Rainbow Dash added with a grin.

“Awww.” She then stopped and reasoned, “But where am I gonna hide until all the Clonie Pies are caught?”

Twilight grinned. “I think I know a place.”

“…And that’s why Twilight sent me here, and since I’m here, I think I’d better give you the Friendship Lesson that I learned in pony.”

Princess Celestia giggled, glad for the company as she enjoyed her afternoon tea in the palace. “A wise decision. Go ahead, Pinkie Pie.”

After dramatically clearing her throat, Pinkie declared, “I’ve learned that it’s great to have fun, but it’s even greater to have great friends. And having lots of friends means that that sometimes, you have to make choices about who you’ll spend your time with. But that’s okay, because good friends will always give you lots of chances to have fun, so even if you miss out on one thing, it’s never for very long. And I’ve also learned that trying to do too much, even if it’s having fun, can sometimes lead to more trouble than it’s worth.”

“Two worthy lessons if I’ve ever heard them.” She took up a teacup and idly wondered, “It’s been almost a half-hour since you arrived, however. I’m a little surprised that Twilight and the others haven’t finished collecting all of your duplicates by now.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Well, in their defense, I’m really good at Hide and Seek. I’d say give it another half-hour, and if Twilight hasn’t sent you a message, then go to Ponyville and bring the biggest piñata you can find.” She then produced a business card and said, “There’s a candymaker in Ponyville who’d certainly love the business.”

Celestia laughed as she accepted the card, though something told her it wouldn’t be needed. Her student and her friends were nothing if not capable, and this seemed well within their ability to handle.

And if not, well, she was always up for an excuse to get out of the palace.

Vignette Nine - Spike At Your Service

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“You… saved… my life…”

Applejack put on a casual smile for the young drake. “Aw, don’t mention it, Spike. Now c’mon, let’s get back into town before those timber wolves pull themselves back together.” The hot air balloon secured about her midsection, she led the young drake out of the Everfree and back into town. “So how’d you end up out here? See the balloon flyin’ out this way and tried to wrangle it?”

Spike laughed. “Yeah!” At Applejack’s raised eyebrow, he amended, “Okay, it’s my fault it’s out here. Twilight’s got this big study session going on and she didn’t need me for anything, so I thought I’d take a ride, but the rope got loose and I tried to stop it…”

“An’ you got dragged out all the way out here.” At her friend’s regretful nod, she gave him a comforting smile. “Don’t worry. This thing probably got beat up worse when me an’ the girls were tryin’ to chase down Rainbow Dash. Cherry Berry’s probably gonna be mad fer a while, but that’ll blow over.” She flashed a teasing grin. “Ah’m surprised you didn’t go see what Rarity was up to.”

Spike blushed and laughed nervously. “Actually, I didn’t even think about that.” He hastily moved to change the subject. “Anyway, I’m really grateful for what you did.”

“Don’t think anythin’ of it.”

“No, I’m serious! You saved my life, Applejack! I owe you a life debt!” He produced a small card with a crudely-drawn depiction of himself in crayon and explained, “And according to my Noble Spike the Dragon Code, that means I must serve you as you see fit!”

Applejack studied the card for all of one second before she deadpanned, “You made that up yerself, dinnit ya’?”

“No!” Spike recoiled and pulled the card away in protest, then nervously shifted his eyes from side to side. “Maybe.” He sighed. “Did Twilight ever tell you about what happened to me during the dragon migration?” At Applejack’s nod, he explained, “Well, between that and me running away, I haven’t exactly met a lot of ‘nice’ dragons. I can only really think of one. Me. And I don’t want to be like them, or have other ponies think that all dragons are big jerks. If I have a code to live up to…”

“One that puts ya’ in debt to somepony else fer the rest of your life? Servin’ ‘em, waitin’ on ‘em claw an’ foot durin’ all hours of the day like a servant? Or a slave?”

Spike went pale. “I wouldn’t go that far, but…” He sighed, then turned alarmed and asked, “A slave?”

“Ah might’ve exaggerated a little bit, sorry.” As they continued, Applejack elaborated, “Still, Ah can understand wantin’ to show appreciation, an’ livin’ up to a moral code, but yer makin’ it sound like it’s only a big deal because of those other dragons you met. So you can prove you ain’t like them.” She then smiled and assured him. “But you don’t have to do that. You ain’t like them, not one bit, and anypony with sense knows that. Ah mean, you weren’t the one tryin’ to smash phoenix eggs, were ya?”

“Well, no. But how do I know not all dragons are like that?”

Applejack laughed. “Us not gettin’ roasted to cinders by that one dragon might be a clue.” The mirth faded from her voice as she continued, “Seriously though, it takes a special kind’a cruel to smash up a defenseless egg. Ah can’t rightly figure why anyone would want to do that, or why they’d think it was fun.”

“Still, dragons don’t really have a good reputation.”

“And if’n the only ponies you ever met were like some high-an-mighty Canterlot noblepony like those suckups Rarity had to deal with a while back, ponies in general wouldn’t have a good reputation either.” She gave him a gentle nudge. “You don’t have to prove a thing to anyone, an’ you don’t owe me a dang thing. Yer mah friend, Spike, an’ Ah’ll always have yer back.”

Spike smiled. “Thanks, Applejack.”

“No problem. Now let’s get this balloon back to Cherry Berry, an’ after that…” Applejack considered things. “Well, maybe you could still go and lend Rarity some help.”

Spike waived a dismissive claw. “Nah, I’d probably just get in her way.” He looked up at her hopefully and asked, “But maybe I can still help out at Sweet Apple Acres? I mean, not to pay a debt or anything, but friends help each other out when they need help, and a busy farm means lots to do, so…”

Applejack laughed. “Alright, no need to twist mah ears over it.”

“Oh, this is terrible!” The anxiety was clear in Twilight Sparkle’s voice as she trotted towards Sweet Apple Acres with Rarity in tow. “Spike could be anywhere! He could be in danger, or…!”

“Twilight, darling!” Despite being in reasonable shape, Rarity had to make an effort to keep pace with her friend. “I’m certain that Spike is fine! Just because he didn’t come to me doesn’t mean he’s in danger! Now let’s check with Applejack, like I suggested. Absolute worst case scenario, we can ask her to help with the search.”

“You’re right. Still, I…” A strong, familiar scent caught Twilight’s attention, and she followed it off to the farmhouse to find several apple pies cooling in the windowsill, and a familiar dragon inside the kitchen. “Spike!”

“Hey Twilight!” The young drake looked very pleased with himself as he finished putting away a mop and bucket. Every surface within the kitchen had a shiny gleam to it, which Granny Smith regarded with approval as she entered with Applejack in tow. “Everything okay?”

The young mare sighed in relief as Applejack opened the kitchen door to allow the two of them entry. “Yes, I just took a study break and got worried when you didn’t answer me.” She noticed several other pies cooling to one side. “Wow!”

“Eh, this all ain’t nuthin’.” Granny approached and ruffled Spike’s coxcomb as she remarked. “Spike came by earlier an’ offered to help out. Went above an’ beyond, too. Earned himself a nice reward.”

Spike turned nervous. “Wait, I don’t…”

“Spike, this ain’t like yer last birthday. Earnin’ somethin’ ain’t the same as just gettin’ it handed to ya, ‘specially if’n ya helped make it in the first place.” She gestured to one of the pies, likely ready to eat at this point, and asked, “Just make sure ya bring back the tin.”

Spike accepted with a nod, then carefully scooped up his pie. He then turned to Twilight and asked, “You were really worried about me?”

“Of course, Spike.” Twilight nuzzled him in assurance. “How could I not worry about someone I love? I’m just glad you can take care of yourself.”

The young drake grinned nervously. “With a little help from my friends, anyway.”

Vignette Ten - A Canterlot Wedding

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An optimistic smile was on Applejack’s muzzle as she watched the mare before her thoughtfully chew the pastry in her mouth. It brightened as the mare took hold of a second one with her magic and swiftly ate it as well with gusto. “Twilight’s letters weren’t kidding, Applejack! These are delicious!”

The farmmare managed a nervous laugh. “Right kind a’ya to say, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

“Only because it’s the truth.” The princess smiled back gently. “And please, just ‘Cadance’ is fine.”

“Alright, Cadance.” Applejack turned to Twilight as the unicorn made another mark on her checklist. “Ah know Ah’ve said it already Twi, but Ah’m sorry for not listenin’ to ya earlier. Somethin’ tells me you’ll be hearin’ that a lot for a while.”

“Well, don’t be too hard on yourselves.” Twilight bowed her head in slight shame as she admitted, “Even I was fooled.” She turned to Cadance as she admitted, “You being kidnapped and replaced never even occurred to me. It’s going to be a while before I can get past thinking that you’d changed for the worst.”

Cadance came over and took her former charge into a warm hug. “Don’t beat yourself up too much, Twilight. Based on the information you had, me getting replaced by the queen of the changelings was probably one of the less likely possibilities. Still, we all made mistakes while all of this was going down, including me. I’m the one who got captured and replaced, remember?” That eased the mare’s mood before she continued, “In any case, it’s thanks to you that we’re all safe, and I can finally do what I’ve wanted to do for years.” At Twilight’s worried expression, she explained with a smile, “Call you family. And have it be official.”

Twilight broke out into a big smile and took her sister-in-law-to-be into a tight hug, while also thanking the heavens above that nopony was present who’d make some sick joke. “Me too! I mean, you and Shining are so perfect for one another! And after so many years of helping to spread love, it’s about time you had a little for yourself!”

Cadance giggled softly as she hugged the young mare in return. “Twilight, I’ve never been lacking for love in my life. I’ve had it ever since I can remember, even if I didn’t have as close a family as most ponies did.” She smiled sadly as she admitted, “But it will be nice to finally have a mother and father in my life, in-laws or not.”

Applejack shared the alicorn’s sad smile before it turned into a frown. “That reminds me’a somethin’. You spreadin’ love with your magic, Cadance. You wanna elaborate on that? Ah mean, you ain’t manipulatin’ emotions and forcin’ folks to fall in love with one another, are ya?”

“No, definitely not.” The princess’s tone became one of disgust as she explained, “My magic can’t create feelings of love in anypony, or anything, and it certainly can’t coerce anyone. The most I can do is encourage what’s already there, and even that is skirting a dangerous line.” She turned shameful as she admitted, “One that, sadly, I crossed from time to time when I was younger. I still remember the scolding Aunt Celie gave me for doing that once while looking after Twilight.”

“And given everything that’s happened, I think you might be able to see why I did that.” Heads turned to the door to find Princess Celestia standing outside the kitchen. “I’m sorry for interrupting, and for sounding so cross over that. That’s the last thing you need right now. Cadance, may I borrow your wedding planner for a moment?”

“Of course, Auntie.” Cadance beckoned Twilight onwards with a smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere this time.”

Twilight smiled, then stepped outside and followed her mentor as she made her way to a secluded section of the halls.

Applejack’s expression turned sheepish as Cadance turned her attention back to her. “Now, if’n you don’t mind my askin’, how close of an aunt is Princess Celestia to you? Ah mean, she and Princess Luna ain’t currently married, and Equestria would know if’n they had siblings.”

A sad smile crossed Cadance’s face. “It’s a long story.”

“I fear that you’re going to be hearing this quite often from me and many others in the near-future, Twilight, but it needs to be said. I’m sorry for not listening to you.” Celestia bowed her head as she turned to face her student. “As much as I was fully aware of the threat to Canterlot, it never occurred to me that the enemy might already be in the gates. And it should have. It’s just the sort of trick Chrysalis would perform.”

Twilight tilted her head in confusion. “Chrysalis?”

“The Queen of the Changeling Hive. I have the great misfortune to say that she and I have history. I thought she and her kind were dealt with the last time I faced them, but clearly, I was wrong.” She looked out a window to the city below and noted, “Canterlot will recover, but it might be some time yet.” She turned back to Twilight and amended, “For now, I can just hope that you’ll accept my apology, and my praise.”

Twilight offered a smile. “Of course. Nothing that happened to Cadance was your fault, and with the wedding, well, I can understand you thinking that she was just under pressure.”

“Perhaps, but her somehow convincing Shining Armor to hold off on telling you about the engagement should have been a dead giveaway. But once you saw her, you knew that something was off. Today’s victory was as much yours as it was theirs, and I think we both learned a valuable lesson today. That we should trust our instincts when they tell us something is wrong…” She extended a wing and wrapped it around Twilight in a hug. “…And that I should listen more to my faithful student, otherwise I could be in even worse trouble.” Twilight gently hugged her back before Celestia beckoned her. “Now go on. You still have a wedding to finish planning.”

Twilight did as she was told and moved back to Cadance’s side as a Guardspony approached the princess to offer a salute. “Your Highness.”

“General Tomahawk. What have you to report?”

“So far as we’ve been able to ascertain, the changelings have been driven from Canterlot. Whatever Colonel Shining Armor and Princess Cadenza did, it’s sent them flying clear to the Badlands. Perhaps even further.”

Celestia nodded. “I almost hope for their sake that they don’t get as far as Abyssinia. They aren’t particularly welcome there after what Chrysalis did during Queen Katrina’s reign. And casualties?”

“Light, thankfully. A few minor injuries, but nothing worse than a broken bone here and there.”

The alicorn’s expression soured. “I mean for both sides, Colonel.”

The soldier nodded. “Apologies, ma’am. We’ve recovered the corpses of many of the changelings that were part of the invasion. We’re still counting, but the last talley I had was past four hundred. I expect that will climb as time goes on. Regardless, I’d recommend that we have somepony make absolutely certain there aren’t more acting within Equestria’s borders, and that something like this doesn’t repeat.” He scowled slightly. “As I understand it, there already should have been somepony doing exactly that.”

Celestia’s scowl matched his own. “Indeed. I’m going to have a number of talks with Minister Blacklight regarding today’s events. This is exactly the sort of thing that the organization he oversees was meant to prevent.” And not the last time that SMILE had fumbled in recent memory, the princess considered to herself bitterly. “For the time being, have our sentries and border patrols be placed on high alert in case anything happens. Also, I’d like the names of those Guardsponies who alerted us to the threat, as well as those who lasted the longest. The wedding will go some way towards easing the population’s concerns, but an award ceremony won’t hurt either.”

“I’ll have their names to you within the hour, ma’am.”

“Very well. Dismissed.” As the general departed, Celestia found herself quietly hoping that the next major threat to Equestria would take its time. Given how much had happened since her sister’s return however, that seemed a faint hope at best. Perhaps it was time she took some steps to ensure greater security for her subjects. One high-risk idea came to mind, but preparations needed to be made first, and even then, there was no guarantee that it would work.

Still, desperate times often called for desperate measures.

Author's Notes:

I'd hoped to get this one out in February (or at least a February) but circumstances are against me, so here we are.

A Canterlot Wedding is fondly remembered by the fandom for being the introduction to one of the more entertaining villains of the series (and one who's actually stayed a villain rather than reforming). That being said, there were minor issues with it - the hints of Cadance's casual attitude towards mind-altering magic being one, and the lack of a proper apology from Celestia towards Twilight being another...not to mention Shining Armor neglecting to tell Twilight that he was getting married to her old foalsitter and surrogate big sister. This was meant to address all of them, as well as hint at things to come in my works and help to provide an explanation behind why another evil was let out of its can.

Q&A, Part Two-Point-Five

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“Ain’t it a tiny bit early to be back on one a’ these things?”

Many of those gathered shared Applejack’s sentiments even as Quiver Quill clapped his hooves to bring things to order. “I know it hasn’t been long since our last installment, but we had some unfinished business with the last one. Items that needed clarifying, plus that challenge issued the last time. After this, however, I think we’ll be a long way away from seeing one of these again.”

That seemed to satisfy the crowd as Aria Blaze slouched in her seat. “Well, let’s get this over with.”

Quiver went through his cards. “First, I have a statement here from FinalLegendZero which I shall read out in full.

“‘I feel that I owe all of you an apology. I didn’t mean to cause any of you pain with any of my questions. While there are some things that a few of you have done that part of me wants to call you out on here, that wasn’t my intent for anything I’ve asked thus far, or will ask in the future. At worst, my questions were meant to give you a chance to clear up ambiguous scenarios that had potentially unsettling explanations. I especially want to apologize to those living in or originating from Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash most of all. I already knew that dead foal wasn’t an ingredient in making rainbows in this universe. I know that none of you would do that. But I also know how sick this fandom at large can be, and while I wouldn't expect it of any of your world’s current audience, there's a very real possibility that someone else would make that accusation someday. My question was an attempt to preempt that – to put on record ahead of time that you don’t kill foals to make rainbows. But clearly, I didn't word my question properly. So to you, and to everyone else I’ve hurt with my questions these past two sessions, I truly am sorry.’”

The gathered ponies nodded as they considered that statement, before Rainbow Dash grinned. “It’s all good, guy, no big.”

“Indeed,” Rarity amended primly. “Your questions have tended to be very insightful, and we certainly appreciate them. And so far as any criticisms you may have, well…” The fashionista turned anxious as she amended, “I like to think that we are civilized enough to handle such things, provided they are delivered in a reasonable and constructive manner.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” Quiver went to another card and continued, “Mugen Kagemaru has expressed similar sentiments, though he has asked for clarification concerning the cellar from Pinkie Pie.”

“Okay!” The party pony sat up and beamed as she answered, “In order. The cellar at Sugar Cube Corner is mostly for storing supplies that we don’t need year-round. Extra blankets in the summer, jams and jellies in the winter, stuff like that. We make sure to clean it before we swap one thing out and another thing in, though. And yes, Rainbow Dash has been down there.”

“Helped Applejack and Pinkie put away some deliveries of zap apple jam,” the prismatic pegasus explained.

“And for our part, we’d like to point out that we value and appreciate all of the questions asked of us,” Twilight interjected. “The fact that our audience is asking us about such things shows that they care enough to wonder about our story, and I for one am glad for that.”

There were general murmurs of agreement as Quiver smiled and went to the next card. “Okay then, now we’ve got some questions from Comickook. First, for Princess Celestia. ‘This is purely a hypothetical, but if you were ever planning to retire, do you think it would be wiser to give your intended successor two or three years notice to make sure they had plenty of time to prepare (and so Equestria in general would have more time to adjust)?’”

Celestia nodded. “Of course it would be wiser for me to give them notice and preparation time. Under normal circumstances, I fail to see any sense in rushing a transition, if only because it would be terribly unfair for those succeeding me.”

The stallion nodded. “Next, for Princess Luna. ‘Relating to the first question; if Celestia DID plan to retire, would YOU stay on for a while to make sure your sister's successor's adjustment period went as smoothly as possible?’”

The younger of the two royals idly considered that question. “That is admittedly a difficult question. I would be lying were I to say that I would not relish being free of my responsibilities, but were Celestia to retire, I imagine that I would stay on for a short time, if only to ease the transition.” She then sat up and added, “With that in mind, however, I think Celestia has been quite clear that she is in no rush to force such responsibilities upon the only logical candidate to replace her or myself at this time.”

Celestia’s nod of confirmation led to a sigh of relief from Twilight as Quiver continued, “Next for Shining Armor.”

The unicorn stallion grinned. “Wondered if anyone would have a question for me. Go ahead.”

Quiver cleared his throat and continued, “‘If there were an alternate universe where Cadance met and fell in love with somebody else before she even knew you (like, say, a surprisingly nice changeling broke away from Chrysalis’s hive, met Cadance almost immediately after she ascended, developed a friendship with her that gradually grew much stronger over a period of years, gradually developed a backbone without losing the niceness, etc.), do you think that universe’s you would be able to bounce back?’”

That caught Shining Armor at a loss as he considered the question. “Well, yes, but it might’ve taken me a while. And know knows how things would’ve gone if I didn’t have Cadance keeping my head on straight.”

The pink alicorn at his side grinned. “I’m sure somepony would’ve kept you from doing anything too foolish.”

“Though had a changeling broken away from the hive, they would have sorely regretted it!” Heads turned as Chrysalis seethed in her seat, only to be calmed by the fluffy pink pony at her side. “Yes, yes, I haven’t officially appeared yet, but still, I have an image to maintain.”

“Pftthpbt.”

“Okay, and maybe I’m a little impatient to appear. I am, after all, the best villain in the franchise.” A cackle sounded, and the changeling queen shouted, “Hush you! The fans agree with me!”

Adagio Dazzle smirked as she inspected her nails. “Just the ones who don’t recognize me as being canon.”

Aria Blaze joined in. “Or don’t like Tirek.”

Sonata Dusk thoughtfully tapped her chin. “Are we counting villains in general, or just the ones that stayed bad after they got beat down?”

“For the record, the Great and Powerful Trixie was at worst an antagonist!”

“Okay, let’s move on before someone loses their heads.” Quiver went to another card and continued, “Next question for Twilight. ‘If you ever decided to take on a student of your own (once you gained enough experience to be more confident in doing so), what do you think he/she would be like?’”

The young alicorn considered that. “Well, I’d hope that they would be eager to learn, but not impatient. I mean, I’d be new to teaching, so I’d be bound to make a mistake here and there. Beyond that, as long as they show themselves willing to learn from their mistakes and mine, I’d welcome whoever wanted to be under my tutelage.”

Quiver nodded and moved on to another card. “And the next one is for Pinkie Pie. ‘If you ever met a male party pony who was just as good as you, do you see a rivalry or a friendship that could gradually develop into something more? Or a combination of the two?’”

The party pony giggled. “Aw silly! The closest I came to anything like that was with Cheese Sandwich, and he and I are great now and…!” She paused, and then blushed. “Oh my goodness, him and me? Together?” She then grinned and added, “Our foals would know nothing but love.”

Quiver grinned. “Well, nice to know Rarity and I aren’t the only ones with shipping goggles.” He went to the next card and continued, “Ooh, we’ve got more for Celestia. First, ‘Do you think there could exist a universe where the day-to-day runnings of Equestria are handled by a democratically elected council comprised of equal parts unicorns, Pegasi and Earth ponies while you and Luna basically just raise and lower the sun and moon and occasionally deal with the villains and monsters too dangerous for the normal police and military?’”

Celestia sighed. “I would welcome living in a universe like that, to be honest, though I fear the arrangement we have now is the closest we’re going to get for the time being.”

“Sadly true.” Quiver then went on to the next question. “Second, ‘Considering the incident with Starswirl’s “unfinished masterpiece spell”, has there been anybody that has accused you of excessively rewarding Twilight for cleaning up her own mess? Mind you, I'm not one of them. I'm just curious if anybody WAS short-sighted enough to make those accusations.’”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “There are some with positions of power who would no doubt feel that way, were they aware of all of the pertinent details. As of yet, however, nopony has raised such claims with me, which I admit is troubling in its own way.”

“And third, ‘Are all alicorns immortal or is it just you and Luna that are?’”

“So far as my sister and I are aware, we are the only alicorns who can be considered immortal.” Celestia briefly considered Twilight and Cadance before she continued, “Natural born alicorns were not immortal, merely long-lived in comparison to the other pony tribes, and we still don’t know whether the same is true for ascended alicorns.”

“And in our case, our immortality is only due to our magical bond with the sun and moon, and the reasons for that continue to elude us both,” Luna amended. “Also, that immortality is conditional, and may likely end should we be seriously injured or fall gravely ill. Naturally, this is not something that we have seen fit to advertise.”

Chrysalis and Adagio both chuckled to themselves.

Quiver gave them weary glances as he brought up the next card. “And one last question for Spike. ‘Considering how long dragons can live if healthy (i.e. they literally have a long enough life span to consider 100 years a short nap), do you feel bad about the fact that the only ponies with a comparable life span are your foster mother and aunt? That, pretty much any potential love interest outside your own species would probably die centuries before you did, even if things went mostly ideal?’”

The young drake nervously rubbed his hands together. “It’s not something I’ve really thought about. I mean, I don’t like the idea of outliving everyone I know and love, and I’m not looking forward to it, but…”

Twilight wrapped a wing around him in comfort. “But it’s not something he’s going to have to worry about for a long time to come.”

“Indeed.” The stallion moved to one last card. “Anyway, that leaves us with the challenge from diablo4000. And for that, I present this image.”

A large screen projected the image in question, which inspired a large number of coos, squees and ‘awwws’ from the gathered audience. Such was the reaction that Chrysalis went rigid as a board, overcome with the love surrounding her and drooling as if comatose. Her fluffy pink companion poked and prodded her for a moment, before pouting and whimpering like a puppy.

Adagio was less than impressed. “Seriously? That’s cheap bait. You’d have to be a horrible bleeding heart to…”

“HNNNGGG!” Sonata grasped at her chest as if in pain. “So…cute! Can’t…handle…!”

Derpy then fluttered over and grinned, a familiar little grey unicorn in her front hooves. “She’s even cuter in real life.”

Sonata turned to find Dinky looking at her with a smile. “Hello Miss Sonata.” She then held up a small baked good and asked, “Want a muffin?”

That was the final straw for the blue siren as she fell out of her seat, much to the chagrin of her associates. “Too late! Going dark! What a world, what a world…!”

“Pftthpbt?”

Sonata looked up to find Fluffle Puff standing before her, a taco presented in one hoof. “Taco!” She seized it and began to munch it down. “Thank you, big ball of cuddles and love!”

The cuddle pony let out a childlike squeal of joy as Adagio groaned. Aria merely smirked while everyone else laughed. Quiver wiped away a few tears as he offered, “See you next time!”

Vignette Eleven - Hearts and Hooves Day

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“What were you three thinking?!”

It had not been a good day for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Their well-intentioned efforts at playing matchmaker for their teacher had led to Cheerilee and Big McIntosh falling under the influence of what they had thought was a love potion, only to discover was actually a love poison. They’d managed to break the spell and undo the damage they had done before it could escalate further, but that still left them with plenty of consequences.

Consequences that, unfortunately, included explaining things to their immediate relatives and the one from whom they had learned about the potion.

“Twilight, darling, calm down!” Rarity at least appeared to be in their corner as she attempted to soothe her friend’s frustrations. “I’ll admit, what they did was more than a bit ill-conceived, but given the fact that they cleaned up their own mess, I don’t think yelling at them is warranted!”

“I’m not…!” Twilight took a second to calm herself. “I’m not yelling. At least, not on purpose.” She turned back to the Crusaders and said, “And as glad as I am that the three of you fixed your mistake, it’s one that you shouldn’t have made in the first place. That potion was a mind-altering substance, and potions and spells like that are morally dubious at best.”

“Says the mare who hyponized most of the town into fightin’ over her foalhood toy.” Applejack quirked an eyebrow and noted, “And whose sister-in-law can do the same thing they did without a potion.”

Twilight winced at her friend’s summation. “And those are precisely the reasons why I’m so disappointed about all of this.” She turned back to the Crusaders and remarked, “I’m just glad the three of you aren’t trying to explain this away with good intentions.”

Sweetie Belle gave a nervous smile. “Well, we did have those. I mean, nopony should be alone on Hearts and Hooves Day, right?”

Rarity tutted at her sister’s defense. “As much as I agree with that, sometimes we simply have no choice. As much as I wish it were otherwise, romance is far more complicated than it seems, and even if it wasn’t, a love potion is hardly the best foundation to build upon.”

“Rarity’s right, y’all.” Applejack gently frowned as she explained, “There’s plenty of ponies out there who don’t end up with special someponies, fer a lotta reasons. That’s just how life works.” She then smirked and added, “Besides, Cheerilee an’ Big Mac already gave it a go. Didn’t really work out fer either of ‘em.”

Apple Bloom turned surprised at that. “Really? They dated?”

“Back when you were a tiny little thing, before we lost Mom and Dad.” Applejack shrugged as she admitted, “He’s still a little embarrassed about how it all ended, but that’s his story to tell, not mine.”

“Okay, fine, but why have the recipe for the potion in the book in the first place?”

“That’s actually a very good question.” Gilded Lily turned to Twilight with a raised brow as she echoed her niece’s statement. “Care to elaborate?”

Twilight sighed. “I don’t know why the exact recipe was included in the book. I assume it was for the sake of being thorough, especially given the cure was included. But if the three of you had read a little further, you would’ve realized that it wasn’t the prince and princess’s relationship this holiday was meant to celebrate. The prince who crafted the potion did so with the help of a loyal potion maker under his service, a mare who aided him because she loved him and ultimately broke the curse for the same reasons.”

“Did they end up together?” Sweetie Belle prompted, a little bit of hope in her voice.

“No, but the whole experience did teach the prince a valuable lesson in the true value of love, one that he hoped to remind ponies of when this holiday was founded.” Twilight frowned as she added, “Especially considering the potion maker rejected his advances after she freed him.”

“Yet another reason why these sorts of things aren’t worth the trouble.” Rarity turned to the three and noted, “In any case, I am glad that the three of you realized your mistake and worked to fix it before it could go too far. And so far as I’m concerned, the punishment Cheerilee and Big McIntosh have given you is enough.”

Applejack nodded in agreement, while Gilded Lily scowled before she relented. “Fine, but Scootaloo’s parents are going to hear about this.”

“And I’m just going to remind you that it’s important to read the whole book and consider the potential consequences of your actions before you do something like this again.” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Alright?”

The three Crusaders nodded, and Apple Bloom noted, “Ah just hope Big Mac an’ Miss Cheerilee don’t rib us too much over this.”

Unfortunately for Apple Bloom, her hopes were dashed later that day.

“Since you three are doing all of his chores, Big Mac and I thought we'd have a picnic at the gazebo.” Cheerilee turned to Big Mac with a smile and asked, “Ready, sugar bear?”

The stallion returned the smile. “Eeyup, pumpkin pie.”

The pair heard the Crusaders’ anguished cries as they made their way off the farm, and Cheerilee laughed. “That was terrible of us.”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac’s mirth faded as they got out of the Crusaders’ earshot. “All this though, it’s brought back some memories. Right awkward memories.”

Cheerilee sighed. “We both made mistakes, Big Mac. What happened with us wasn’t your fault.”

“Still feels that way sometimes, though. There’s more’n one reason why I ain’t the chatty sort anymore.” He snorted. “Says somethin’ the only reason we tried this again was because of a love potion, though.”

“I don’t think the involvement of a love potion counts as ‘trying it again’.” At Big Mac’s awkward grimace, she admitted, “Still, at least we’re talking to each other again.”

The stallion let out a brief chuckle. “Yep, there’s that.” He turned sober as he admitted, “Don’t change the fact that Ah hurt ya, though. Ah was young an’ stupid, an’ messed up.”

“Yes, but sometimes you have to mess up before you can get things right.” The mare gave him an encouraging look as she continued, “You’re a good stallion, Big Mac. You work hard, you look after those you care about, you’re strong and talented, and none of that is something to be ignored. When you find the right mare, she’ll be the luckiest pony this side of the Emerald Isle.”

“Ah think Ah’ll let her decide that, but thanks.” He then gave a hopeful smile. “Fer what it’s worth, Cheerilee, when you do find yer special somepony, they’ll be a lucky one.”

The mare laughed. “Something tells me you’ll find yours before I find mine.”

That prompted a laugh as they continued onwards. Big McIntosh considered himself an optimist, but where was he going to find the right mare for him?

“Achoo!”

“Bless you, Sugar Belle!”

The unicorn gently wiped her nose with the offered tissue as her friend departed her shop. “Thank you, Starlight Glimmer!”

Vignette Twelve - The Day Shift

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Princess Luna found herself…perturbed.

Things had started off well enough. She had just finished her duties for the evening, which thanks to the guidelines set in place by the treaty with the Nyx had recently been streamlined in regards to her dreamwalking. Thus, the evening had been spent on patrols with the Night Guard warding off dangerous creatures in one corner of Equestria or another, and she hardly found herself exhausted come the morning.

How much of that was due to the coffee she’d consumed remained a question for another time.

Still, when she had reunited with Celestia to transition from the Court of the Night to that of the Day, her elder sibling had started going on about bureaucracy and meetings and delegates. Such challenges were, of course, trivial compared to fending off owlbears and bugbears and lumber bears and assorted other ursine derivatives, and Luna had declared she would handle them. She was, after all, her sister’s equal, and some months had passed since her return, so if ever there was a time for her to prove she could carry her sister’s duties, it was now. If Celestia could handle the duties of day and night for a thousand years, then she could carry the burden for twenty-four hours.

She hadn’t quite reckoned with Kibitz, however. Competent as he was, the stallion was an insufferable killjoy, rushing her from one place to another. Still, compared to that…

“And then, we’re going to polish our armor to a gleaming shine!” The pegasus guardstallion before her had an eager smile on his face alongside a fuzzy mustache that looked more like a caterpillar than anything else. “And after that, we have an appearance at a bake sale…!” He then noticed the befuddled expression on his sovereign’s face. “Ma’am?”

“Polishing armor? Bake sales?” Luna turned to Kibitz with disbelief. “This is how the Royal Guard is attending to its duties?”

“We are going through a peaceful spell, your Highness.”

“We were attacked by a horde of changelings but a mere fortnight ago! Patrols should be heightened, our security measures re-evaluated! Whilst I am in agreement that we should be attempting to reassure the population that we have returned to normalcy, we should not be letting our guard down!”

“Well ma’am, we do plan on patrolling the Everfree Forest!” the cheerful stallion reported.

“Ah! Proactive thinking if ever I have heard it!”

“Thank you, ma’am!” The stallion fought back a snicker as he reported, “The last time a patrol went, we thought…”

Another guardstallion approached, this one more familiar with orange-yellow fur and blue eyes. “Captain Hot Fuzz, I don’t think we need to bore the princess…”

“Nonsense!” The first pony continued, “The lieutenant here thought that he saw a monster, but it was really an opossum!”

Luna raised an eyebrow at the second stallion. “Lieutenant Flash Sentry?”

The stallion was clearly embarrassed as he explained, “In my defense, ma’am, the marsupial in question was in shadow and had very sharp teeth.”

Her newfound companion yawned, and thus displayed his own impressive dental work, which prompted a nod from Luna. “Tiberius raises a fair point. Dismissed, all of you.” She watched them return to their rounds, then turned to Kibitz. “Has my sister not done anything regarding our national security since this most recent incident?”

“Princess Celestia has brought up what happened with Minister Blacklight, ma’am, and steps are being taken to prevent another invasion.”

Luna frowned, and found herself wishing that she’d been awake for the invasion now more than ever. “What’s next, then?”

“Paperwork. Award ceremonies. Disputes that are better left for the courts to resolve. Appearances at school openings. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. All with a smile.” Luna gave the mustachioed unicorn a most regal frown as she amended, “And all that he allowed me to eat were bran biscuits. Bran. Biscuits.”

“One must look after one’s colon, your Highness.”

“Our colon can look after itself! I needed sugar! Protein! Proper sustenance! At least a cup of decaffeinated coffee!”

As Luna whumped forward in exhaustion, Celestia sighed. “Kibitz, has everything for the day been resolved?”

“Of course, your Highness.”

“Excellent. You’re dismissed.” As her aide went on his way, Celestia approached her sister. “Not quite as easy as you thought it would be, was it?”

“No,” her sibling answered with a groan. “And I shall be having nightmares about those children noticing my forced smile.” Luna raised her head and asked, “Why must there be multiple meetings with the same delegation? Can you not have one meeting, and resolve all of their business at once? And maintaining a smile the entire day! How do you do it?”

“Not easily.” Celestia wrapped a wing around her younger sibling and explained, “That’s another reason why I’m so glad that you’re back. I have someone that I can let my defenses down with, and not have to present a constant queenly mask.” The younger sibling glared, and the elder rolled her eyes at her gaffe. “You know what I meant.”

“Still, one does not enjoy being reminded of how you looked after this nation for a thousand years whilst I was… unavailable.”

“Not alone. And if it helps, Luna, I doubt I could do anything that you do nearly as well.” Her sister turned to her in surprise as Celestia elaborated, “You monitor the dream realm for threats and dangers. You help to keep all those things that go bump in the night at bay, which is much more difficult than dealing with the daylight terrors. And I think after everything you’ve dealt with today that you’ve earned a night off.”

Luna sighed. “Perhaps the exhaustion will prevent those feared nightmares from coming.” She stood up and asked, “But why address the disputes? As I said, the courts can easily deal with such things.”

“And they do, at least the vast majority. But there are some cases that I find the need to look into personally, otherwise we risk someone getting lost in the system and forgotten.” Celestia smiled. “And it helps me to feel like I’m doing something for the citizenry directly. I can’t enter a dream and soothe their spirits, after all.”

The younger of the two allowed herself a grin. “No, but even I can’t do that whenever I please.” She then made her way to her chambers with an opossum riding upon her back and waving goodbye and promised, “I shall check in at breakfast. Good evening, Celie.”

“Good evening, Luna. Rest well.” Celestia watched her sister go with a sigh. She’d gotten a day off, and now it was Luna’s turn to do the same. Experience taught her that it was always wise to get rest while you could, before things got exciting again.

Which reminded her, she needed to check with the northern patrols. For all she knew, some brave yak had crossed the frontier seeking to renew ties with Equestria.

Author's Notes:

My first Vignette based on one of the comics! Yay! Said comic, Issue #12 of the Micro Series, was written by Katie Cook, with Andy Price on art duties.

Admittedly, I glossed over many events from the actual comic, but the segment with Flash Sentry seemed most prevalent for me to address. Plus Celestia easing things up for her sibling a bit, as in the comic, she just retired for the evening and let Luna handle her nightly duties after dealing with all the troubles of the Day Shift. There were other changes, however - no court disputes involving Flim and Flam as the defendants (as chronologically, the Rarity Micro Comic's events haven't occurred yet, among other reasons), no chess involving ponies as the playing pieces (though I imagine Luna did have a pleasant conversation with Fancy Pants), and some small nods to the events depicted in A Royal Problem. Don't expect that episode to be directly incorporated into the Quiververse, however.

Vignette Thirteen - Winter Wrap-Up

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Twilight smiled with contentment as she tucked Spike into bed. The young drake needed his rest, if only to help fight off that brief cold he’d found himself dealing with. Between staying up through the night to help with Winter Wrap-Up and falling asleep on a chunk of ice, it was no surprise he was under the weather.

She also tried her best not to think about how she was inevitably going to be blamed for Spike falling asleep where he did as she went back down to the library proper. Something told her the only reason Spike wasn’t blaming her, at least not out loud, was because of the inevitable comeback that she’d make regarding his flip-flopping on using her magic.

A knock sounded on the door, and Twilight quickly moved to answer. “Applejack?”

“Howdy, Twilight. Got a minute?” The unicorn stepped outside the library and closed the door behind her as her friend collected herself. “Came by to see how you were doin’. An’ apologize fer that outburst yesterday.”

Twilight gave a reassuring smile. “Applejack, you don’t have to apologize for that. You were under a lot of stress trying to get everything done.”

“Ain’t no excuse, though. You were tryin’ to help, an’ a certain someone went an’ pushed ya in a way that made things worse.” At her friend’s surprised expression, the farmpony explained, “Ah encouraged Spike to give me the full story after you ran off. Ah’d’ve called him a weasel, but somethin’ tells me Fluttershy would’ve protested on behalf of the weasels.”

Twilight nodded in agreement. This conversation, however, was leading her towards very uncomfortable territory. “Applejack, as much as I can forgive what you did, I have to ask something. Is there…” She turned uneasy, as if she were unsure of how to proceed.

“Do Ah have an issue with unicorns an’ magic?”

The unicorn sighed. “Yes. Sorry, I didn’t want to accuse you of something you aren’t.”

“Ah know, an’ Ah appreciate the gesture, but Ah’m a big mare an’ Ah can handle havin’ mah feelin’s hurt, ‘specially when it’s unintentional.” Applejack sat down on her rear to get comfortable. “Ah don’t have issue with unicorns in general, or magic in general. That reaction of mine came from a lotta diff’rent places, an’ not just the fact that it’d been ages since we got the job done anywhere near on time an’ Ah had that hangin’ over me.” She took off her hat and asked, “Ya remember the Hearth’s Warmin’ story?”

“I’m going to assume that’s a rhetorical question.”

The farmpony nodded. “Ah got this relative, an old great-uncle Maker knows how many places removed. Tends to say a lotta stuff that most ponies would dismiss as tribist, ‘specially concernin’ that time’a year. Talk about how unicorns an’ pegasi had unfair advantages over us earth ponies. Asked Granny once why she didn’t stop him from sayin’ that stuff, an’ ya’ know what she said?”

“That he wasn’t wrong?” At Applejack’s surprised expression, Twilight explained, “There’s more than a few unicorns who’ve discussed the Hearth’s Warming story, and brought up how contemporary attitudes among the unicorn nobles contributed to unjust conditions for the earth pony tribes. Those attitudes didn’t really fade after everything happened with the Windigoes, but they were dealt pretty hard blows.”

“No kiddin’.” Applejack shook her head and continued her story. “Granny continued on with her life experiences, how she had to work hard an’ survive dealin’ with all sorts’a dangers both before an’ after settlin’ down an’ foundin’ Sweet Apple Acres. An’ how a lot’ve ‘em involved magic in some way. Taught her that magic was somethin’ to be wary of at best, an’ if’n a pony can avoid usin’ it, then they should.” She shrugged and admitted, “Colored mah viewpoint a bit. All the stuff Ah do ‘round the farm, plus everythin’ for Winter Wrap-Up an' the Runnin’ of the Leaves an’ other stuff, Ah do it with my own four hooves. No wings, no horn, jus’ old-fashioned pony-power. Point of pride for me, too.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Ain’t sayin’ there is, an’ Ah’m glad you agree.” She lifted a hoof and explained, “Ah ain’t stupid, Twilight. Ah know earth ponies have magic too. That what we do ain’t nearly as flashy or impressive as movin’ stuff without touchin’ it or makin’ lightnin’ bolts or whatever, but what we do is plenty important. A farm run by an earth pony is gonna out-perform a farm run by a unicorn or a pegasus, everythin’ else bein’ equal, simply because our magic works better ‘fer farmin’. An’ seein’ that get put down…”

“It hurts.”

“An’ like Ah said, Ah know you weren’t tryin’ to do that. Ah lashed out on instinct, an’ that was wrong.”

“Especially considering there are ponies out there who would put you down just because you’re an earth pony, Hearth’s Warming or no Hearth’s Warming.” Applejack nodded, and Twilight smiled. “I’m glad that you know I’m not one of them.”

The farmpony grinned. “Sugarcube, you got yer flaws, but arrogance ain’t one of ‘em. Buck, even Rainbow Dash ain’t got a head that big.” The two shared a short giggle before she continued, “Anyway, you got us organized. No magic, jus’ you usin’ yer head and playin’ to yer strengths. That ain’t somethin’ to sneeze at.”

“Thanks.” Twilight relaxed, glad to have that weight lifted. “Anyway, now that’s out of the way, there’s something I’d like to talk with you about concerning Winter Wrap-Up. I might have some ideas for streamlining things next year. No magic, just working smarter rather than harder.”

That got Applejack’s attention. “Streamlinin’, huh? Tell me more.”

Author's Notes:

Winter Wrap Up, as originally written by Cindy Morrow, was not a bad episode in the slightest, and this was written up less because of my issues with it and more because of reaction to the works of other authors.

Firstly, there was a story - can't remember if I found it here or on DeviantArt - where Twilight got chewed out for leaving Spike floating on a chunk of ice and leading to him inevitably getting sick. I agree, she shouldn't have left him there or joked about it.

Second, this owes a lot to the works of Reality Check, and his comments defending Granny Smith and her portrayal in some of the works by Pen Stroke regarding Nyx. Maybe it's just a little hero worship, but the man does present a logical viewpoint, and it's one that I was happy to expand upon here. As for Twilight's idea to streamline Winter Wrap-Up, that's more nodding to Reality Check.

Third, I once saw a fanfic recommendation on TVTropes discussing the reasons for why Winter Wrap-Up was done the way it was done. Didn't read the story, as the description discouraged me. I figured tradition was a simpler reason.

Finally, I had my own little things that I wanted to bring up. We all know that prejudices exist, and that they can be subtle, but people can also be aware of those prejudices and work to overcome them. Having them doesn't make you a bad person, especially if you acknowledge them and work to overcome them.

Anyway, enough soapboxing. Hope everyone enjoyed this installment.

Vignette Fourteen - How Rarity Got Her Groovy Back

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Rarity was not in the best of moods, to put it politely. The last week or so hadn’t been at all pleasant, as several messes had all hit one after another, from one great and powerful pony turning Ponyville into their personal fiefdom whilst driven mad by an arcane artifact to Rarity herself being turned into the newest host of the force that had corrupted Princess Luna. And on top of all that, she had a fashion show in Canterlot to prepare for!

Applejack pointing her towards that health spa had sounded like the ideal means to unwind and ready herself for the coming show. Unfortunately, even that had lost its luster. While the staff was pleasant enough, Flax and Wheat’s New Age All-Natural Wellness Center was less a spa and more of a working farm. Instead of mud baths, hooficures and relaxation, she’d found her hooves caked in mud, manure and mush, been swarmed by bees and ended up laboring rather than relaxing. And that was ignoring the accommodations – Applejack’s barn was more comfortable to sleep in.

The nightly gifts of complimentary beauty products were fantastic, but not enough to entice her into staying any further. A lady had her limits, after all, and Rarity had reached hers.

“Flax Seed! Wheat Grass!” Rarity swept aside the beaded curtain that served as the front door to the pairs’ office/living quarters/whatever and entered. “Not that these last few days haven’t been… charming, but I simply cannot continue under these conditions! I am leaving, and would very much like a refund!”

The former of the pair, a lanky stallion with a small mustache and short beard, looked at her with a half-glazed but nonetheless worried expression. “A…a refund?”

The latter, a pretty mare with tiny glasses and a long, flowing mane, looked far more worried than her partner. “As in, you want your bits back?”

“Obviously, though I only expect half of them back. I did, after all, pay for a week at these facilities, and it’s only been three days.” At their worried expressions, she frowned. “I suspect those expressions don’t bode well for me, do they?”

Flax Seed held up a tray with what looked like an attempt at all-natural foods with a nervous grin. “Carrot-carrob-and-bean crunchy clusters?”

Wheat Grass gently pushed the tray away and approached. “Rarity, I’m so very sorry, but we’ve already sent your money off to our bank to help cover our debts.” She bowed her head shamefully and admitted, “We’ve made some…bad decisions with money, and the bank is close to foreclosing and taking our land from us.”

“Amazing Booksellers is already eyeing things up for another one of their warehouses, and we’re gonna get the boot.” The stallion bowed his head sadly. “Gonna have to go back on the road, instead of living our dream and having an all-natural life.”

“Bad decisions…” Rarity considered her surroundings and reasoned that yes, that could explain a great deal, but only so much. “But the complimentary beauty products are some of the best I’ve seen! Surely those have been helping with your income?”

“They aren’t beauty products, they’re spiritual enhancers.” Rarity eyed the stallion, who amended himself, “Y’know, for, like, enhancing the spirit. And stuff.”

“And we can only make so much of our goops. You’ve actually been helping to make them. We thought opening up the wellness center would help with the bills, but…”

“Yes, I understand. But how have you been selling them?”

“The stand on the side of the road.” Wheat Grass slumped slightly as she admitted, “We don’t really have heads for all this business stuff.”

Rarity considered that, then smiled. “Fortunately, however, I do. Gather your staff! Celestia as my witness, we’re going to save your business, clear your debts, and make certain you never have monetary issues again!”

“Whoa!” Flax Seed was in awe as he gazed about at the Canterlot skyline. “It’s all so, like, big and busy and stuff.”

“And so are we, dear, so are we!” Wheat Grass chided her partner as they and their staff worked to fulfill purchases. Their shipping boxes were rapidly emptying out, and odds were good that they’d have quite a few mail-orders to fill once they got back home.

Rarity stood back and watched with satisfaction as her new associates reaped the benefits of her instruction. They’d taken the lessons to heart, and certainly seemed pleased that they didn’t have to toss aside their own adherence to all-natural methods to do it. That her own show had been a smashing success certainly hadn’t hurt things.

“Somepony looks like they’ve had a very good night.” Twilight and Spike joined her, clearly pleased themselves. “I guess visiting that wellness center did work out for you.”

“Not quite in the way that I’d thought it would, but yes, it did.” Rarity sighed and admitted, “I admit, I was discomforted by the conditions at first, but seeing through them to help with their problem was the most important thing, and I’m glad that I did so. I helped them, and helped myself for good measure.” She shrugged. “Not the ideal friendship lesson, of course, but regardless, things are better for them now than they were before.”

“And I certainly look forward to trying a few of their products for myself.” The three looked up in surprise as Celestia grinned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you three. And no, Twilight, I won’t be needing this recorded in a letter, but feel free to make a record of this anyway.”

Spike sighed. “That saves me a little trouble.” He eyed his claws and asked, “You think that hoof scrub of theirs will work for claws too?”

Vignette Fifteen - Bats!

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The situation at Sweet Apple Acres over the last few days had gone from bad to worse since Applejack’s realization that the farm was once more host to a colony of vampire fruit bats. The last time this had happened had been in the early days of the farm, when Granny Smith was younger than Applejack was now, and had left the family in dire straits.

Fear of those dire straits repeating once more had led Applejack to take drastic measures, especially once it had become clear that Fluttershy wouldn’t be able to get them to leave. The bats either didn’t understand her, or simply weren’t interested in listening to her. Fluttershy’s own suggestion to dedicate part of the orchard to the bats was, to Applejack, unfeasible, as the bats were themselves rather gluttonous. Finally, Twilight had suggested a solution of her own – a spell that would manipulate the bats into not wanting to suck the juice from the apples. Unfortunately, it required Fluttershy’s assistance.

And that had led to another problem.

Much to the shock of her friends, Fluttershy was now hanging from a branch on an apple tree by her tail. As they watched her shadowed form, she shot her tongue from her mouth, snared an apple, and caught it in her teeth, now augmented by sharpened fangs where there hadn’t been any before. She sucked the juice dry in seconds, then spat the drained apple out and away.

“Fluttershy?” Pinkie Pie had joined her friend, and was similarly suspended by her tail with a flashlight held tight in her mane. “Yoo-hoo! Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy hissed and extended her now bat-like wings. Pinkie Pie dropped to the ground in shock as Rarity realized, “That’s not Fluttershy! That’s Flutter-bat!”

The newly-rechristened Flutterbat hissed, dropped from the branch and swooped down upon her friends, and thus forced them to take cover.

“I don’t understand!” Rarity hugged a tree for dear life as she kept her eyes locked on the aggressive vampire bat-pony in their midst. “How did this happen?!”

“I think this was my fault!” As the group ran out of the orchard, Twilight explained, “That spell I used earlier on the vampire fruit bats must’ve interacted somehow with Fluttershy’s Stare and backfired!”

“And that led to her turning into a bat-pony?!” Rainbow Dash skidded to a halt as she came in for a landing. “Wait a sec, bat-pony! Fluttershy’s got thestrals in her family tree, and there’s folktales and stories about rare thestrals having hypnotic stares! That might be why the spell’s affecting her this way, thestral heritage!” At her friends’ shocked expressions, she asked, “Well do any of you have a better explanation?!”

“Well I’d certainly like one that’s a bit less tribist, darling.” Rarity turned back towards the orchard, Flutterbat’s silhouette lost in the trees. “Still, I fear that’s the best explanation we have for this. And at the rate Fluttershy’s consuming apples, there may not be any left in the orchard by morning.”

Applejack’s heart sank at that thought. “Great. First Ah bully one’a mah friends into doin’ somethin’ against her will, then she gets turned into a monster that’ll wipe out mah family’s livelihood.” She bowed her head mournfully. “This is all mah fault.”

Twilight approached and laid a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “No Applejack, I’ve got a share of the blame too.” She turned back to the orchard and declared, “But we can fix this. We just have to find Fluttershy and keep her held in place while I try to reverse the spell.”

“But that doesn’t solve the initial problem of the vampire fruit bats, Twilight!” Rarity gestured to the orchard. “As soon as their desire to feed is restored, they’ll be back to consuming all of Applejack’s apple harvest!”

“I know, but one thing at a time.” Twilight considered what they would need. “Alright, we need full-length mirrors and lots of sturdy rope.”

“An’ bait.” Applejack took on a determined look. “An’ Ah got just the thing.”

Only two thoughts were on Flutterbat’s mind as she swooped through the orchard. The first was to feed. Her hunger needed to be sated, and once this place could no longer sustain her, she would move on elsewhere. The second was to drive away threats to her food. The second wasn’t an issue, as the competition was gone, but the first remained. She must feed. She would feed.

A scent caught her nostrils, that of succulent juice. Her head whipped around to the source to see one of the threats standing beside an apple as large as itself. The gigantic apple dripped with juice, and she could smell juice on the long metal thing the threat was holding. What the threat was doing with the apple she didn’t know, but the apple was hers, and the threat would not have it.

She swooped and hissed at the threat, but as she closed the distance, something popped into existence before her, and she barely stopped herself in time to see…herself? She turned away, only for something else to block her path and for her to see herself again, and again, and again, more reflections blocking her path until she could not escape.

“Keep her confined! We can’t have any gaps in the mirrors!”

Suddenly, the spaces between her reflections flashed with bright lights. She was confused, disoriented, hissing in fear as her eyes darted from one reflection to another. She finally settled on one and locked eyes with it before letting out the most terrible hiss that she could.

And something deep within that had been buried under terrible, overwhelming instinct woke up. The hisses of Flutterbat faded, and a gasp led to a scream of terror.

“Fluttershy?!” A gap formed in the mirrors and the lights dimmed as someone entered the cage. “Fluttershy!”

Gone was the terrible predator driven by an insatiable hunger. There in her place was a quivering, frightened form, curled up and whimpering like a frightened child. She looked up, her mind swimming upstream against the current of blind instinct with memory powering her along. “Applejack?” At the mare’s nod, Fluttershy jumped and embraced her friend, tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t… I couldn’t…!”

“Hush now, darlin’, it’s alright.” The mirrors slowly went away, and Applejack gently held her friend in her forelegs, comforting her with all the love she could muster. “Everythin’s gonna be alright now.”

As the rest of the group approached, Rainbow Dash looked Fluttershy over. “I don’t think the spell worked, Twilight. Fluttershy’s still all…batty.”

“I haven’t cast the spell, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight approached warily and explained, “When Fluttershy saw herself in the mirrors, it must’ve triggered something, and got her back to her senses.”

“Yeah, but for how long?” Glares turned to Spike as he asked, “What? I can’t be the only one wondering that.”

“No, Spike’s right to worry.” Fluttershy regained her footing as she explained, “The vampire fruit bats’ feeding instinct is…it’s overwhelming! They’re migratory! They’ve traveled across the land for generations, drawn from one food source to another to feed until they’ve reached their fill, and then they move on to the next!”

“Well that explains why we ain’t seen ‘em since Granny Smith was a young’un, but we still gotta get you back to normal.” Applejack looked to the orchard, where she knew more vampire fruit bats were still resting and waiting to eat. “And we still gotta do somethin’ ‘bout all the vampire fruit bats. Ah can’t just cordon off a huge chunk a’ orchard for ‘em, even if they’ll only be usin’ it every couple hundred years or so.”

“Perhaps there’s some way to shift their migration route?” Rarity approached and explained, “Sweet Apple Acres wasn’t here prior to their last visit to the area, after all. They had to be going after something else.”

“Ah suppose, but…” Realization struck as Applejack turned her attention past the orchard to what lay beyond her family’s land. “The Everfree Forest. They must’ve been feedin’ on zap apples before the farm was established. An’ when Granny Smith started growin’ zap apples a’ her own, then that must’ve attracted them here.”

“And what do you bet me their growth cycle in the Everfree is different from their growth cycle outside of it?” Twilight brushed aside idle thoughts of a thaumabotanical study as she reasoned, “In any case, these apples were more plentiful, and easier to get to, so they came back. And they’ll keep on coming back unless we find a way to repel them and set them back on their original migration route.”

“Hopefully in a way that don’t repel the fruit bats we already have on the farm, too.” Heads turned to Applejack as she explained, “They’re harmless to the crops an’ keep the local bug population in check.”

“Umm, well…” Fluttershy’s demure demeanor was welcome, if incongruent with her current appearance. “I might have an idea.”

As the morning sun rose over Sweet Apple Acres, the last of the vampire fruit bats fled the property for the Everfree Forest. Quite a bit of damage had still been done, but nothing the farm couldn’t recover from given how briefly they had been present.

“Can’t say Ah like the smell’a that repellent you came up with, Fluttershy, but it sure works.” Applejack turned back to her restored friend. “Strange mix, though.”

“Well, most creatures don’t like the scent of peppermint and cinnamon anyway, and mixed with urine from a predatory creature like a manticore, well…” Fluttershy shrugged. “Even back to normal, I’d still want to avoid a mix like that.”

“Too right.” The farmpony sighed and added, “Anyway, Ah guess we got us quite the entry for the Friendship Journal. Bein’ careful about short-term solutions that are too short-sighted…”

“And not letting anypony pressure you into doing anything that you don’t think is right.”

“Or you could get turned into a rampaging fruit-sucking bat-pony!” Pinkie popped up between the pair with a tray of glasses with straws. “Speaking of, apple juice? I had to do something with the giant apple beyond make a lotta pies.”

Applejack and Fluttershy accepted the offered drinks as they made their way back to the farmhouse. “Speakin’ of, you gonna do anythin’ ‘bout those fangs?”

Fluttershy grinned. “Actually, I think I’ll keep them. At least, for now. They aren’t hurting anything, and I don’t want to be a bother for a dentist unless I need to be.”

Applejack sighed. “Fair enough. Still, kind of a shame you don’t go out fer Nightmare Night. Those things would save you time puttin’ together a costume.”

The shy pegasus chuckled nervously at that. She’d already scared her friends enough, and she didn’t want to do it again.

Vignette Sixteen - Three's A Crowd

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“I’m sorry that things aren’t quite going the way you’d hoped, Twilight.”

Twilight couldn’t help but think that things weren’t going exactly the way that she’d hoped, but she did her best to put as positive a spin on it as she could. “Well, one thing that I’ve had to accept is that things don’t always go according to plan.” She smiled and continued, “Besides, you were still able to come, and that’s the important thing.”

Cadance gave her sister-in-law a proud smile as they continued on their way through town. A small part of her was glad that the citizens of Ponyville were giving the two their space, as the last thing she wanted right now was to be mobbed by an adoring public. A part of her supposed that it was due to their familiarity with Twilight, as the mare had been a fixture in Ponyville for over a year now. Though another part of her suspected another reason might be involved. “Still, no offense to Shining Armor, but I think he might be getting just a touch overprotective.”

Following them at a respectful distance were two familiar Guardsponies, kitted out in full armor. It was a testament to both their discipline and their good humor that neither reacted to Cadance’s statement, though it helped that neither took it personally.

“Don’t get me wrong, I can understand his concern and appreciate the escort, but I was hoping for this to be just the two of us as much as you were.” The elder of the two mares managed an encouraging smile as she decided, “But we’ll make the most of it.”

“Definitely.” Twilight then turned nervous as she moved the subject elsewhere. “Speaking of concerns, has there been any news regarding my research project?”

Cadance shook her head. “I’m afraid not. If there’s anything in the wilds surrounding the Crystal Empire related to the Chest, then we haven’t been able to find it so far. The only thing that we have found that suggests any sort of link with the Chest or the Tree is the Crystal Heart, but that’s to be expected.”

“Empathic gemstone and all that.” Twilight frowned and quietly hoped that her other leads would produce better results. “Well, please keep in touch with me about it.”

“Of course.” Cadance then grinned and turned back to the subject at hoof. “For now, though, we get to enjoy a little quality time to ourselves.”

The pair reached the Ponyville Fairgrounds to find themselves surrounded by curious visitors occupied by booths and exhibits all around them. The Star Swirl the Bearded Traveling Museum had arrived in town, and Twilight was herself appropriately dressed for the occasion in her costume from the previous Nightmare Night. And much like a foal on Nightmare Night or any geek engaging in cosplay, she had no embarrassment about her state of dress. Though the rare pony present not being similarly-dressed would discourage such things. “A whole day to celebrate Star Swirl the Bearded and his accomplishments. What could be better?”

“Absolutely nothing.” Cadance then noticed one stallion in particular, and she idly wondered aloud, “Is that who I think it is?”

Twilight’s eyes lit up as she called out and waved. “Quiver!”

The stallion in question turned to them in surprise and approached with a delighted smile. “Twilight! Great costume!” He chuckled and admitted, “I’m afraid I didn’t have appropriate dress for anything like this.”

“Well no one’s going to think less of you for not coming in costume.” Twilight then made some quick introductions. “Quiver, this is my sister-in-law, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

“Just ‘Cadance’ is fine. And you must be Quiver Quill. Twilight’s mentioned you in her letters.”

The stallion chuckled nervously. “I’m flattered. Didn’t think I’d be worth mentioning.”

“All of my friends are worth a mention. At minimum.” Twilight then gestured with a hoof. “Speaking of, our escorts for the day. Lieutenant Flash Sentry and Sergeant Topaz of the Crystal Guard.” Both stallions nodded politely, and Quiver responded in turn before the mare continued, “Enjoying the exhibition?”

“Yeah. I’m just lucky it was here on one of my days off.” Quiver laughed. “It’s funny. Up until last year, the only ponies who knew anything about Star Swirl were historians, archaeologists, hobbyists and conspiracy nuts. Now, he’s practically everywhere.”

“Well, a certain young mare managing to complete one of his unfinished spells and then locating one of his lost archives does raise a certain amount of public awareness.” Twilight blushed at Cadance’s comment before her in-law continued, “Anyway, you enjoy yourself.”

“Of course. You do the same.”

Quiver then parted ways from the two princesses, and Cadance noted, “I like him. He reminds me of your brother.”

Twilight grinned. “Oh, something tells me that he and Shining Armor would get on like a house on fire.”

“Something for another day, I guess.” The two then reached one of the exhibits, and discussion turned elsewhere. “Is that the candlestick Star Swirl used to light the way when he was exploring the caverns of Maretania?”

Twilight, Cadance and their escort would get precious little time to enjoy themselves before a certain draconequus came along to disrupt their plans, while many ponies present at the exhibition would find themselves dealing with some headaches from same. Quiver in particular wouldn’t be forgetting it anytime soon.

Vignette Seventeen - Filli Vanilli

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Vignette #17 – Filli Vanilli

Fluttershy suddenly felt like a mouse caught in one of those horrible traps. One moment, she had been singing to her little animal friends in the apparent comfort and security of her yard, only to discover in the next that she’d had a larger audience than she had at first believed. “Oh… you… um… you didn’t hear me… um…”

“Singing in the most beautiful voice ever?!” Pinkie Pie squealed.

Rainbow Dash rushed forward to confirm, “Uh, yeah we did!”

Fluttershy promptly whimpered and tried desperately to make herself as small as possible, and the newest one among her friends approached. “Fluttershy, easy! There’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

“Quiver’s right!” Applejack’s tone was both soothing and awestruck. “That was like a little slice a’ heaven.”

“With ice cream on top!” Pinkie reiterated.

“And I for one cannot believe that your spectacular voice isn’t part of the Pony Tones quartet!” Even as her friend attempted to protest, Rarity produced a flier and continued, “Especially since you’re having us perform for your Ponyville Pet Center fundraiser tomorrow night! This simply must be rectified! You must share that stunning voice at the event!”

“Yeah! It’ll be so amazing!” Seemingly unaware or uncaring as her friend’s face became a portrait of anxiety and terror, Pinkie continued, “You’ll be there on stage, basking in the hooflights! The center of attention! A shining star! Everypony staring at you, judging you, jealously noting how they could be way better than you! Why wasn’t it them? Why wasn’t it them? And then, when you choke, they’ll turn on you, becoming a seething, angry mob, and you’ll be horribly humiliated, never able to show your face in Ponyville again!”

“Pinkie Pie!” Even as Rarity had rolled up the flier in frustration of her own, Quiver had snatched it out of the air and soundly thwacked the party pony on the nose for her outburst. “What in the Maker’s name are you doing?!”

Pinkie Pie rubbed her nose and retorted, “I’m just encouraging her to have some fun!”

Quiver tossed aside the flier, took hold of the mare’s head, and forced her attention on the quivering, weeping pegasus before her. “Does that look like she’s having fun to you?”

“Well no, silly, it looks like she’s terrified!” As she processed her own words, all sense of mirth vanished from her face, and Pinkie’s mane drooped. “Oh.” Quiver released her from his grip, and she bowed her head. “I’m sorry Fluttershy. Your singing is really good, though.”

“Thank you, Pinkie, and… I do appreciate everypony’s praise.” Fluttershy then turned to Rarity and continued, “And I do love the Pony Tones. You, Big Mac, Toe-Tapper and Torch Song are absolutely wonderful, and I’m thankful that you agreed to help with the fundraiser, but I… I can’t perform with you.”

“Why not?” Twilight stepped up. “If it’s something administrative, I can help with that.”

Fluttershy shook her head no.

“It’s stage fright, isn’t it?” At Fluttershy’s nod, Quiver offered, “Fluttershy, that’s perfectly normal. And understandable.”

Rarity sighed. “Indeed it is. As much as I think you not performing alongside us is a terrible waste, I understand your reasons for not taking part.”

“Thank you. And thank you all for coming and helping out with all the work that still needs to be done.” She felt a nudge at her side as a familiar bunny urged her forward. “I know, Angel. We’re getting to work.”

Quiver sighed as he joined his friends in getting to work. “Sorry about that, Pinkie. I don’t like getting quite that aggressive.”

The party mare waved a hoof. “It’s okay. Sometimes I need somepony to rein me in.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Careful who you say that around, Pinkie, or someone’ll think you and Quiver are getting up to something.”

The stallion gave an unimpressed snort. “Har har.”

Preparations for the fundraiser went off with little difficulty, but come the next day and final preparations for the Pony Tones’ performance, a problem presented itself.

“A…a turkey call?” Rarity stood aghast at Big McIntosh, her magical grip on his necktie tightening in frustration. “You lost your voice doing a… a turkey call?!”

“Lost his voice and the title!” Pinkie Pie soon found the fashionista glaring daggers at her, and took on a nervous grin. “Ooops.”

Rarity settled for thwacking Pinkie on the nose with a newspaper before she turned her attention back to the problem at hoof. “Now we can’t perform tonight! The Pony Tones are a quartet, and we can’t rearrange the music for a trio in so short a time, or find somepony else who can perform in Big Mac’s place!” She sighed and turned to her friend. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy, but I fear there’s no remedy for this.”

Fluttershy, however, appeared more optimistic. “Actually, I think I might know a remedy!”

Fluttershy had hoped that Zecora would know a way to accelerate Big Mac’s healing process, but visiting the zebra’s hut had led to a different solution. Fluttershy would purposefully infect herself with poison joke, deepening her voice once more, and Big Mac would lip synch while she sung. The good news was that the scheme worked.

The bad news is, it went horribly right. The Pony Tones soon found themselves booked for event after event, with Fluttershy increasingly enjoying every performance. So enthusiastic was she that the mare was hesitant to stop once Big Mac’s voice had healed, and there had been a mutual agreement between the two of them and Rarity that their performance at Sugar Cube Corner would be their last. Unfortunately, Fluttershy’s enthusiasm had gotten the better of her, and their ploy had been exposed. The crowds might’ve been forgiving, but Fluttershy had retreated in terror to her home.

The cottage door opened, and Twilight led the group inside. “Fluttershy? Are you in here?”

“Yes.” Her voice restored to normal, Fluttershy emerged from her bathroom with a towel wrapped around her mane. “I’m here.”

“Fluttershy, you were amazing!” Even with her enthusiastic tone of voice, Pinkie Pie was clearly restraining herself as she cheered, “They loved you! We loved you!”

“Maybe so, and I’m glad you all enjoyed it, but…” The shy mare whimpered. “But… I’m never doing it again. I can’t.”

“Whyever not?” Rarity quietly ascended the staircase with a soothing tone to her voice. “You were living your dream, darling!”

“And when that curtain came down, it was my worst nightmare.” Fluttershy bowed her head in fear. “All those eyes on me, all that attention…”

“And how bad was it?” Quiver gave her an encouraging smile. “Really? How bad? Pinkie’s right, Fluttershy. They loved you. How could they not?”

Fluttershy considered that. The reaction had been enthusiastic, and ponies had indeed loved her. She raised her head and smiled. “Well, it was fun.” She turned to Rarity. “I don’t know if I can do it all the time, but maybe, every once in a while, the Pony Tones can be a quintet?”

The fashionista cooed. “I think that can be arranged, darling!”

Vignette Eighteen - Scars of the Quill

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Rainbow Dash was not looking forward to this. Facing down dragons and monsters and Discord and whatever else came her way? Fine. Death-defying stunts that only the most awesome of awesome pegasi could pull off? No problem. But this? This was in a whole other league of trouble.

She groaned as she rapped against the door before her with her hoof. Nothing to do but get it over with.

The door opened, and a pegasus mare who didn’t quite look her age barely laid eyes upon her guest before she broke out in the most ecstatic grin a pony could have and not be Pinkie Pie. “Dashie!”

“Hi Mom. I…YIPE!”

Windy Whistles hardly waited for her daughter to finish her statement before embracing her and pulling her into the house. Rainbow Dash briefly spun about before righting herself as her mother closed the door and called out, “Bow! Honey! Company!”

“I’m coming, m’love, I’m…” The stallion of the household came into view, and whooped and hollered in joy as he laid eyes on his daughter. “Dashie!”

“Hey Dad, I…Oooh!” Rainbow Dash had the wind knocked out of her as her father took her into a tight embrace, and barely recovered it enough to wheeze, “Good to see you!”

“Great to see you too!” Bow Hothoof released his daughter. “What brings you by? And why didn’t you tell us you were coming? We could’ve had lunch ready for you!”

“Oh that’s no big deal, Bow, we can go out for…”

“Mom, Dad, please!” Dash’s sudden shouting caught both her parents’ attention as she explained, “I’ve got something really important that I need to talk with you about! Both of you!”

Both of her parents suddenly sobered up at their daughters’ words, and quickly found seats. “Of course, Dashie.” Bow himself seemed worried as he asked, “What’s the matter?”

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath as she sat down in front of her parents. “Okay, first off, before either of you start getting worried. I haven’t suddenly caught some incurable disease or suddenly found out that I only have a few days left to live or something.” Her parents turned visibly relieved at that. “Also, I’m not pregnant, I’m not getting married, and I haven’t suddenly decided that I’m a lesbian or something.”

Her father slumped with relief. “Well, I’m glad to hear all of that.” He raised a hoof to amend, “Of course, you being a lesbian wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.”

Windy shook her head. “Oh, certainly not, though I think we would’ve figured that out already.”

“I dunno, honey, sometimes it’s hard to tell.” At the expression on his daughter’s face, Bow decided against pursuing that argument before he stuck his hoof in his mouth any further. “So why are you here, Dashie?”

“I…actually came to say that I was sorry. To both of you.” At her parents’ stunned expressions, Rainbow Dash explained, “For…not appreciating you, as much as I should.”

Bow gave his daughter an incredulous look and asked, “Dashie, are you sure you haven’t caught a bug or something?”

Windy wrapped a wing around her husband and chided, “Bow, let her explain herself.”

“Thanks Mom.” Dash collected herself, then continued, “Growing up, you two were behind me all the way. Every competition, every sporting event, every little thing, you cheered me on. And that’s awesome, but there’s times were it felt like you went over the top with it. I mean, it felt a little awkward having you guys cheer for me like I’d come in first place when all I got was a participation trophy, and you cranked it up past eleven after I actually started winning real awards.” She bowed her head as she admitted, “It started getting a little embarrassing after a while.”

Now feeling a little worried, Windy chimed in, “We were only trying to be supportive, dear.”

“Yeah, and I don’t mind that. You being supportive is awesome, and I wouldn’t be the pony I am today without you two.” She shrugged and grinned. “Heck, I wouldn’t exist without the two of you, obviously.” That got a laugh out of her parents. “It just felt like too much after a bit is all. But something happened lately, and it got me thinking about things and, well, I felt like I had to come here and get that off my back.” She slumped again. “So yeah. Sorry. For not being as good a daughter as I could be.”

Rainbow Dash knew her parents pretty well, or at least felt that she did. Guessing their reactions wasn’t difficult, and so she knew they wouldn’t be angry with her. Maybe she’d get a tight bearhug or something, but definitely not yelling and rage.

The actual reaction was more sedate than she expected, however, as both her parents approached and took her into a warm embrace. “You’re an amazing daughter, Dashie. Don’t you ever think otherwise.” The hug loosened as Bow admitted, “And tell you the truth, maybe we did go overboard with the support.”

“Not that we could help it. You were our miracle, after all.”

That caught Rainbow Dash by surprise. “Miracle?”

Bow blushed. “Well Dashie, your old stallion tends to shoot blanks.”

Windy had a similar expression. “And your mother needed a little extra help when she was carrying you.” She sighed sadly and admitted, “It’s a big reason why you never had a little brother or sister.”

“Or a cousin, for that matter.” Her father turned sheepish as he admitted, “We had a lot of help where you were concerned, Dashie, and we’re glad for every bit of it. Something you might want to keep in mind if you ever want a family of your own.” He then tried to turn the conversation to something a little less personal. “So what brought this on exactly? Can’t be one of those crazy adventures you’ve had saving Equestria, or you’d have been here sooner.”

“It’s not.” Now Dash turned sheepish as she admitted, “I made this friend recently, and a little bit ago, he told me about his family situation. Short version, his dad isn’t exactly Father of the Year material. My friend’s doing better, but when I can tell he’s got deep scars, well, there’s a problem.”

“Well good thing for him that he’s got friends like you and Fluttershy and those mares you save the world with, huh?”

Dash grinned at her father’s enthusiasm. “Yeah.” She made a preemptive groan and added, “And before either of you ask, he’s already got a marefriend. And that kinda brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk with you guys about.” At her parents’ curious expressions, she asked, “You remember me wanting to be a Wonderbolt when I was little?”

Bow and Windy gasped so deep, it almost felt like all the air had been drained from the house. An impressive feat, considering they lived in Cloudsdale. “You’re in the Wonderbolts?!”

“No! Not yet!” Dash grinned. “But I’m gonna be. Been studying up for the exam to get into the reserves.”

Her dad gave her the biggest hug that he could as tears formed in his eyes. “Dang right you will.”

Rainbow Dash sighed as her mother joined in on the hug. Some things, she was just going to have to live with.

Author's Notes:

Let me make things clear - I don't dislike the episode Parental Glidance. Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles clearly love Rainbow Dash, and it's pretty dang obvious that they're proud of her. The conflict of the episode, however, is something that could have been avoided if Rainbow Dash had just sat down and talked things over with her parents...at least, in theory. Dashie herself can be a little dense sometimes, and I imagine she inherited it from her parents. Lord knows I've inherited some unpleasant traits from my folks.

In any case, hearing Quiver's story might've gotten Dash to think about the situation with her own folks, and encouraged her to try and clear the air. Plus this lets me plug a gap or two, and help build up to the Quiververse equivalent events to Testing, Testing 1-2-3.

Vignette Twenty - Apple-Con

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Granny Smith was not in a chipper mood. She felt that she’d earned that right, given how long she’d lived, but the situation that she was about to find herself in did little to discourage her as she and most of her immediate family found themselves cresting the final hill to Apple Con.

She and the Apple Family had been attending the convention since the early days, which were ones she remembered fondly. Much like her family, the convention had started with humble roots as a means to gather with other apple farmers and merchants, discuss new trends, drum up additional business for the farm and pad the rainy-day fund. As time had passed, however, the convention had expanded to include other fruit-growers. Granny had begrudgingly come to tolerate the orange, pineapple and peach merchants, as some of them were kin, and the berry growers, but certain individuals still stuck in her craw. Certain individuals from the Pear family, to be specific.

Regardless, by her reckoning, the convention was now far too crowded and miserable and ridiculous for her liking. Making things worse was that Applejack had been unable to come with them to assist with the convention’s business. Fortunately, however, the Apple family had branches all across Equestria, with plenty of help available when needed.

“Granny Smith!” Waiting for them at their booth with an enthusiastic smile was Caramel Apple. “How was the trip out?”

Granny restrained herself from grumbling. “Harder’n Ah’d like, darlin’, but Ah got plenty energy left in me fer the show.” She cast her eyes over the booth and smiled. “Looks like you got all the prep work started. Good goin’.”

That prompted a smile from the green-eyed mare as she rushed to assist her cousins in getting their wares in place.

“Think Ah can go an’ get one of them fancy manual apple peelers once we’re all set up?” Apple Bloom eagerly asked.

Granny Smith glanced in the direction of the booth and frowned. “You can try, darlin’. That there’s a mighty long line.”

Big McIntosh winced at the sight. “Yep.”

The little filly grimaced. “Well, nothin’ ventured an’ all that, Ah guess. What about you, Granny?”

The elderly mare waved a dismissive hoof. “Ah’m too old to be standin’ in line. Ah’m gonna roam the convention, see what fibs the competition’s gettin’ up to. Big Mac ‘n Caramel Apple can hold down the fort easy enough without me.”

Granny suddenly wished that she’d stayed at the booth given the slogans put out by the competition. “Never find worms in an orange mah right hind leg,” she scowled and grumbled as she continued along, “Gonna have’ta give somepony a talkin’ to. Dang Pears probably have worse…”

“Get your handy, dandy, super-speedy, no-mess Apple Peelcore 8000 here!”

That stopped Granny dead in her tracks. While the voice was familiar, it lacked the enthusiasm that she’d heard from it before. Nonetheless, she recognized the shyster that it had belonged to. “You!”

“Oh. Hello, Granny Smith.” Flim immediately ceased his sales pitch and bowed his head to speak with her from atop his stand. “What brings you out here?”

“You know full well what’s brought me out here! Ah should be askin’ you that question, along with that no-good brother a’ yours!” Granny looked about for Flim’s mustachioed sibling. “Where in the sam hill is he, anyway?”

“Flam?” That seemed to put the skinny stallion into even more of a dour mood. “You won’t be seeing him around this booth.”

Granny snorted. “Tryin’ to con folks from two different locations, huh?”

The stallion briefly looked as though he wanted to protest, but seemed to lose the nerve as he held up the product he was trying to sell. “I assure you, Granny, this is a perfectly legitimate product.”

Granny examined the device, and couldn’t find anything wrong with it at first blush. Nonetheless, she snorted – first blushes could be wrong, after all. “So yah say.”

The old mare fumed to herself as she moved away from Flim’s booth. A stubborn streak was part of the Apple Family DNA, and only got stronger with age. The chances of her forgetting the last time that she’d crossed paths with the Flim Flam Brothers, when they’d attempted to swindle her family farm out from under her, were far closer to ‘none’ than they were to ‘slim’. Even if that fancy contraption of theirs had actually made decent cider, it didn’t change what they had done. And she wasn’t about to hear any arguments about how her family had cheated in that contest either – those two swindlers hadn’t complained when it happened, so they didn’t have the right to complain now.

“Do I have any takers for the handy, dandy, super-speedy, no mess Apple Peelcore 8000?!”

“Ah knew it!” No way those two weren’t traveling together. Granny approached a near-identical booth to the first to find Flam hawking the exact same product as his sibling. “Ah knew Ah’d find you ‘round here somewhere!”

The mustachioed stallion locked eyes with her in surprise. “Granny Smith? Oh, what a surprise.”

“Wish Ah could say the same! Now what’s up with you an’ yer brother at separate booths?!”

Flam looked further surprised, and a little saddened. “Flim’s here? I wasn’t aware – we haven’t seen one another in weeks.”

Granny snorted. “Likely story.” She turned away and gestured with one hoof. “Ah got my eye on you! The both ‘a you!”

“Okay, Granny, I know I wasn’t there when everything went down with them, but… were they really running a scam that day?”

Caramel Apple soon found herself regretting her words as her grandmother rounded on her. “A’course they wuz runnin’ a scam! Those two varmints done nearly cut out the heart a’ the Apple Family with that no-good doohickey a’ theirs an’ took Sweet Apple Acres away from us!”

To her credit, however, the mare tried to hold her ground. “But scams don’t really work that way. Con artists don’t provide an actual product – they tend to trick others to get something using something that they don’t actually have. And they did have an actual machine, that actually did make cider.”

Granny glared at her granddaughter. “What’d’you know about scams an’ con artists?!”

The younger mare shrugged. “I watch a lot of movies.”

That prompted a snort. “Movies ain’t nearly as accurate as them film-folks say they are. An’ besides, the cider they made weren’t half as good as what we make!”

“I’m not saying that it was! I can’t judge it’s quality! I didn’t drink any of it!”

“Well Ah did, an…!” Granny Smith scowled as she realized, “It weren’t half bad. Not that first batch, anywho.” She then shook her head and regained the initiative. “But that don’t change the fact that they done nearly took the farm away from us with that contest! They wuz all set to tear down the farmhouse!”

“Where in the contest did it say that they’d take Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Well maybe not right that second, but…!” Granny fumed at her grandchild’s logic. Yes, the farm had suffered a few financial issues in recent years – funeral costs for Bright Mac and Buttercup hadn’t helped them, and her own medical expenses had taken a toll – but it would have taken some time for their fortunes to be impacted, and they could have found a way to pull together. Plus, as much as they’d been goaded into the contest, the Apples could’ve still refused it…or at least considered a more equitable agreement.

The old mare grunted. None of that changed the fact that those two were shysters and sidewinders with no respect for others’ property. And when they’d won the contest, the pair had laughed at them, confident that they would have a claim to the farm.

But did being jerks justify her actions? And none of that bravado was on display.

Granny rubbed her chin. “The two of ‘em do seem kinda down. Awful hard to run a trick on someone if’n yer not all bright ‘n friendly-like.” She then spied Flim slowly making his way off convention grounds. “Still, no takin’ chances.”

Caramel Apple slumped and let her go. The mare then bowed her head. “She’s mad at me.”

Big Mac gently laid a hoof on her shoulder. “She ain’t mad at ya, cousin. Don’t put too much stock in all this.”

The mare sighed with uncertainty as Granny made her way off the convention grounds and followed Flim all the way to a lone apple tree in the distance. “I’d try to dissuade you from further accusations, Granny Smith, but I suspect they’d be of no use. And as for my brother, Flam and I haven’t seen one another, much less spoken, for three weeks now.”

“An’ you expect me to believe you?”

“Regardless of whether you do or not, it’s the truth.”

Granny Smith wasn’t her granddaughter, but she’d been around the bush enough times to know a lie when she heard one. Everything seemed consistent, and if Flim was indeed trying to pull one over on her, he was putting a lot of effort into it. And despite her better judgment, she sat down beside him. “Alright then. Somethin’ had to happen to tear you an’ him apart.”

“Not something, Granny. Somemare.” A sad sigh escaped his lips as Flim recounted. “My brother and I arrived in Dodge Junction for a new venture, and it seemed to be business as usual for the two of us until she crossed our path. Beautiful, innocent, and no fool. We were both smitten with her, and worse, the feeling was mutual.”

Granny suddenly became a lot more sympathetic. “An’ the two a’ y’all started fightin’ over her.”

“To put it politely, yes. Ill words exchanged, some light blows traded, until Marian finally made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with either of us.” He bowed his head as he admitted, “A part of me can’t help but wonder if she ever cared for either of us, or if she’d planned it from the start. Regardless, what’s done is done. Flam and I have parted ways, and I vowed not to speak with him again. If he’s here, then it’s likely coincidence.”

“Maybe so, but that’s a mighty strong vow to make. He’s yer brother, yer flesh ‘n blood.”

“Even the strongest of ties can be broken, Granny Smith. Take comfort in the fact that your family’s never fractured so badly.”

The Apple Family hadn’t fractured in such a way, but Granny knew of other families that had. And if all of this is true…

“I’m afraid what my brother said is the truth, Granny Smith.” Flam was no less morose than his twin as he explained, “And after what transpired between us, I suspect there are only two words left to be spoken regarding us – Never Again.”

Granny frowned. She’d been around long enough to know better about words like that, and besides, this was far too familiar.

“Attention! Attention! Will Flim please report to the Pear Pavilion immediately!”

“Attention! Attention! Will Flam please report to the Pear Pavilion immediately!”

The Pear Pavilion rivaled the Orange Pavilion for grandeur, and served as sufficient distraction for both Flim and Flam to avoid noticing one another until very nearly the last minute. Their dour moods were forgotten as both glared upon one another.

Flam snorted and ran a hoof along the floor. “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here, brother of mine!”

Flim responded in kind. “You’re a fine one to talk!”

“Both a’ y’all, break it up!” Granny pushed the two apart, much to their surprise. “Ah ain’t here to see the two a’ y’all squabble!”

Her presence took the two of them by surprise, and their feud was momentarily forgotten. “But why?”

“Indeed, Flim raised a good point. I’d think you’d rather us squabbling among ourselves, given the ill feelings you have for the pair of us.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, Ah ain’t forgotten ‘bout that time you came to Ponyville. But Ah ain’t so petty that Ah wanna see two brothers fightin’ one another. Sides, Ah’ve seen this mess before. Ah’ve caused this mess before.” At their surprised expressions, she grinned. “Believe it or not, fellas, Ah turned quite a few heads when Ah was a young’un. Two belonged to the Jonagold Brothers, a couple stallions who were sweeter’n apple pie. Trouble is, Ah couldn’t choose between the two of ‘em, an’ they started fightin’ and fussin’ fer my affections, an’…well, y’all can probably figure out what happened.” Granny frowned. “Ain’t seen either of ‘em since then. Got married and went on with mah life. Fer all Ah know, those two’re still at each others’ throats because a’ me. Assumin’ they ain’t dead.” She looked between the two of them in turn. “You two’re brothers. Thieves wish that they’re as close as the two’a y’all. You really wanna throw that away over a pretty filly?”

The two stallions considered her point in silence before Flim admitted, “She does raise a fair point, brother of mine.”

“Oh, you’ll get no argument from me on that point. And forever is a rather long time to be holding onto a grudge, particularly with blood.” Flam snorted. “And perhaps it was too much to ask for the fair Marian to choose between so perfect a pair of stallions as us.”

“Oh, too much indeed!” The two siblings embraced one another. “And I won’t deny, my heart was heavy with regret over my actions!”

“As heavy as mine over my own, I hope!” The pair laughed with glee at having buried the hatchet, then turned to Granny Smith. “You have our gratitude, Granny Smith!”

“Indeed, but still, why help us? This isn’t simply because of some desire to avoid history repeating itself.”

Granny smiled. “Well, that ain’t the only reason. Ah’d’ve done it because it was the right thing to do regardless.” She then smirked and admitted, “And if’n it hadn’t worked, at least you’d’ve smashed up some Pear stuff instead’a some Apple stuff.” The smirk faded as she added, “Plus, Ah don’t like seein’ talent go to waste. As bitter as Ah am over what happened when you came to Ponyville, that contraption’a yours made some pretty good cider up until you took the safeties off. If’n you hadn’t been so greedy, an’ Ah hadn’t been so stubborn, we could’a worked out a deal that worked for all’a us. An’ somethin’ tells me that sooner or later, if’n you two keep up yer antics, you might just bite off more’n you can chew.”

Flim rolled his eyes. “Well, give us some credit.”

“Fella, Ah nearly saw one a’ the richest mares in Ponyville get killed after she pushed one stallion’s buttons a few too many times, and Ah doubt it would’ve even reached trial. Trust me, luck always runs out.” She turned and made her way out. “So keep what Ah said in mind, y’hear?”

The siblings nodded and waved as she departed, but Flam waited until she was out of earshot before he admitted, “A terrible shame that we had to abandon the SSCS6K after it broke down, isn’t it brother?”

“Indeed it was. Operating something of that sort is easy, brother of mine, but maintaining it is another matter entirely.” Flim turned to his sibling and noted, “Regardless, she does raise a fair point. Faults were made on both sides with our visit to Ponyville, and perhaps we did start off with too high a negotiating price.”

“Oh indeed, dear brother, indeed. I can’t help but wonder what we were thinking.”

“Well, lessons learned and all of that.”

“Indeed, brother of mine, indeed! Now, whose booth will we shut down? I’m perfectly fine with shutting down mine, as yours is more optimally placed…”

The brothers laughed as they exited the pavilion, their debate set to carry on for quite a while. Still, once it was done, stock would be moved and the pair would be back to business as usual. Neither noticed another pony emerge from another corner of the pavilion, a pair of sunglasses concealing her eyes as she held up a small radio with one wing. “This is Agent Tango. Agents Flim and Flam located at Apple Con. We are go for FF-9, but reporting deviations. Be advised, surveillance will be necessary. Initiate backup plan for S4E21. Deviations unavoidable. I repeat, deviations unavoidable.”

The radio was tucked away, and Tango slipped back into the shadows. Deviations were unavoidable in this case, but they could at least be mitigated. Harmony would be maintained.

Caramel Apple sighed as she prepped further stock at the family booth. Sticking her nose into things had been a bad idea, and now Granny was mad at her and…

“Ah’m sorry, darlin’.” Much to her surprise, she turned to find an apologetic Granny Smith approaching the booth. “Shouldn’t’ve yelled at ya like that. Ya raised a lotta good points, an’ Ah wuz bein’ a stubborn old goat. Can ya forgive?”

The mare sighed with relief. “Of course. But next time, maybe yell at me over something that I actually deserve?”

Granny laughed. “Somethin’ tells me that’ll be a long time in comin’, darlin’. You’re a part’a the Apple family bushel, and we don’t go rotten easy.” Another member of the clan approached the booth with a dour expression. “Finally got outta that line, Apple Bloom?”

“Got all the way to the front an’ they ran outta’ them peelers.” The filly fumed as she looked her grandmother in the eye. “You were right, Granny. This place is the pits.”

The old mare laughed. “Yer soundin’ like Rainbow Dash durin’ cider season.”

“Ah guess.” She held up her consolation prize and explained, “Still, they gave me this as an apology. One of them gizmos the Flim Flam Brothers’re sellin’. I thought about tossin’ it, but Ah kinda wanna see if it works first.”

“Eh, do what ya want with it, darlin’. In mah experience, apple peelers an’ apple corers work best as separate devices. Puttin’ ‘em together’s more trouble’n its worth.”

Apple Bloom shrugged as she sat down and removed the device from its box. “Well, all technology breaks down eventually, especially if’n its complicated stuff.” She fished out the instructions and quickly glanced over them. “If’n its made smart, though, you can take it apart easy, take out the bad part an’ put a good part in its place. Like puttin’ a new brush on an old broom.” She then took an apple, one not part of the stock but one she’d brought as a snack, and tested out her new acquisition.

The device itself looked simple to operate – you put an apple at the end of a long piece of metal and turn a crank. Turning said crank would send the apple inwards, where it would have its skin peeled off while simultaneously cutting out the core. And, indeed, the device worked as promised.

“Look at that! It works!” Apple Bloom grinned. “Gonna havta clean it before Ah use it again, but accordin’ to the instructions, that’s easy!”

Granny Smith laughed. “Assumin’ ya don’t forget about it, anyway.”

Maybe between this and their actions, there actually was hope for those two brothers.

Q&A, Part Three

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Q&A #3

Assorted discussion sounded among those gathered as Quiver Quill clapped his hooves to bring everyone to attention. “Okay everyone, here we go again!”

Rarity sighed contentedly. “It feels as though it has been forever since we’ve had one of these sessions.”

“Probably gonna be a while before the next one, too.” Applejack shook her head. “Shame, that.”

“Well, hopefully we’ll have plenty of questions come the next round.” Quiver shuffled some cards in his hooves, then began. “Okay, first we have a series of questions from one Snowy Helmet. First, to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, as well as Princess Cadance and Princess Twilight if they also want to chip in. ‘If I may ask, are you currently making any plans to expand Equestria’s history programme? Don’t get me wrong, I understand you may have had bigger concerns when the nation was just starting, and that Princess Celestia ruled alone for the better part of a millennium and actually had to do most of the work herself… but if I may say so, now that there are more princesses and other organs of government, I think expanding the history curriculum might be a good idea’.” He looked up from the cards and added, “Gotta agree.”

“Indeed, and recent events have shown that education reform should be a priority.” Celestia frowned. “Sadly, even with Chancellor Neighsay in agreement regarding the need for such reforms and exactly how those reforms should take place, implementing them will take more time than I would like.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Between the casual arrogance of the academic world and the bloated state of bureaucracy at the federal level, this is not a surprise.”

Cadance offered a reassuring smile. “Well, I can’t speak for the whole of Equestria’s government, but the Crystal Empire’s local educational system has already been seeing some reforms. Hopefully, the new curriculum will be a model for the rest of the country to follow.”

“One can hope.” Quiver moved to the next card. “Next, to the Princesses and…” He laughed and turned to a flame-maned pegasus. “Hey Runnie, this one’s addressed to us!” He then turned back to his card and continued, “‘Do the prisoners in Tartarus stop aging because of some magic inherent to the place, or are the older prisoners like Tirek simply still alive because they have very long lifespans? Mind you, in either case, I trust all of you not to send any prisoner to Tartarus without a very good reason, for lack of a better term… but I confess I couldn’t help but wonder’.”

Sunrunner smiled. “Well, it’s nice to be thought of, but I’m not the one to ask about how Tartarus works.”

“Fortunately, I can answer that question.” Celestia smiled and explained, “Those incarcerated in Tartarus do age, but those imprisoned there are the recipients of rejuvenating magic meant to help sustain them. That said, very few sapient beings are locked away within Tartarus, with Tirek being the most prominent example.”

“And in Tirek’s case, centaurs are naturally immortal. How merciful being locked away for all eternity would be is something we could debate endlessly.” Quiver moved to the next card and continued, “In any case, that’s a topic for elsewhere. Finally, a question to Sir Quill and Commander Sunrunner.”

“Well!” Heads turned to the two doppelgangers, the stallion distinguished from his counterpart by his formal attire and the mare by her armor. “And here I thought that we’d been forgotten about.”

Aria Blaze rolled her eyes. “Given how long it’s taking to get to our stuff, you might as well have been.”

“At least your story has gotten previews released!” Chrysalis snarled in the Sirens’ direction, which prompted Sonata Dusk to stick her tongue out at her before she turned to the two doppelgangers. “And the less said about your world and its pathetic version of me, the better!”

Quiver cleared his throat, and continued. “As I was saying, ‘If I may ask, how well do you get along with your families? I know your, shall we say, main counterparts in the Quiververse have had some bad luck in that field, particularly Quiver. I hope this is different for the better regarding the two of you. Though if it’s not, you have my sympathies, like your main counterparts do.”

Commander Sunrunner nodded. “Well, we can put Snowy Helmet’s concerns to rest. Suffice it to say, I had a much better relationship with my world’s Sunset Shimmer than my counterpart in the so-called main course of events did. For want of a nail, I guess.”

Sir Quill gave a half-smile. “As for me, well, I’m afraid my familial situation is only slightly different from that of my counterpart.” The smile faded as he admitted to Quiver, “My world’s version of Regal isn’t dead, for one thing, though I’m afraid he’s about as functional as yours was. Therapy and assistance from higher up has helped, however, though not by much. Regal’s all sorts of stubborn. My father’s much less angry than yours is, but he’s still less than happy with his lot in life.”

Quiver managed a half-smile of his own. “In spite of a nail, I suppose.” He went on to another card. “Next we have questions for Final Legend Zero. First, a question for the alicorns. ‘Consider the following hypothetical situation: you discover some means of making any pony an alicorn, immortal, or both. IT doesn’t involve anything morally objectionable, has no significant costs or negative side effects, and can be used an infinite number of times. Do you make use of it? If yes, do you give it to a select few or make it publicly available? If the former, how do you determine who to provide it to? If the latter, do you look for a way to adapt it to work for other non-pony sapient races? Would your answer differ based on whether it provides ascension, immortality, or both?’”

“I would think the answer to that question is obvious.” Luna sat up and declared, “Were we to discover a method that allows for ascension to alicorn status, immortality, or a combination of the two, which does not violate morality or ethics, brings no suffering upon anypony and can be used indefinitely, we would most certainly use it. There would no doubt be consequences for society at large, but the positives would exceed the negatives. And I would greatly question the sanity of anyone who would deny such a procedure.”

“And we most certainly would find the means to adapt it for other non-pony sapient races, though I would hope that doing so would be easier for some races than others.” Celestia smiled as she reasoned, “If such a method worked for ponies, it would likely also work with races that are close enough relatives to ponies to allow for interbreeding.”

“No objection here, though I suspect that there are those who would impede that for a number of reasons.” Quiver went on to the next card as he scowled, “Such is the world we live in. Someone always has to have power over someone else, even if imaginary.”

Adagio Dazzle smirked. “Well, you know what they say about there being two kinds of people in the world.”

“Yeah, but change is the only constant.” The stallion cleared his throat again and continued, “Anyway, a question specifically for Celestia. ‘Are you responsible for Nightmare Moon escaping from her prison?’”

“No.” The elder alicorn’s tone was very firm as she elaborated, “The bonds which imprisoned Nightmare Moon were not permanent in the first place, and beyond my ability to strengthen once imposed.”

Luna nodded. “Indeed, Nightmare Moon broke free from her own shackles once they were weakened enough to allow it.”

Quiver nodded. “There’s a postscript here. ‘If, in the likely event that Quiververse Celestia didn’t hold the keys to Nightmare Moon’s prison, then I have a message for her after her answer: “I suspected that was the case. However, at least one version of you was responsible in their respective timeline, so I had to make sure.”’”

The Royal Sisters stared agape, with the elder barely managing to respond. “What.”

Chrysalis cackled. “Oh dear, a version of perfect Princess Celestia who would willingly unleash utter devastation upon their population! How absolutely wicked!” She grinned. “I wonder what the reason was?”

“Whatever the reason was, it was stupid and dumb and outside of the context of this discussion.” Quiver went to his last card. “Finally, one more question for Celestia. ‘Why did you leave the Elements behind in the Everfree Forest after your battle with Nightmare Moon instead of bringing them to Canterlot?’”

Celestia recovered herself enough to form a coherent answer. “There are several reasons why the Elements were left behind in mine and Luna’s castle. The first is that we had already been keeping them in the castle since we’d retrieved them from the Tree of Harmony, and they had been safe enough there when active. And I would think that a set of six stone spheres would be a much less appealing target for potential thieves than a set of six gemstones. The second was that the very act of using the Elements and banishing Luna had drained me of much of my strength, as well as rendered them inert. It was easier to move them back to their respective pedestals than it was to carry them all the way to Canterlot. Third, the Everfree Forest is hostile territory in its own right, and between that and other measures I took following those events, I felt that they were adequately protected until such time as new, more worthy bearers could come.” She sighed. “I suspect that most versions of me would have similar explanations. In my case, I was also firmly encouraged to take that course of action by Star Swirl.”

Quiver raised an eyebrow. “Well doesn’t that have implications.” He set the cards aside. “Anyway, that’s it for now. Thank you, devoted followers. Hope to see you all again soon.”

Quiververse Bonus Reel

by EchoWing

Season One, Part One

Q&A, Part One

Vignette One - Friendship Is Magic

Vignette Two - One Bad Apple

Vignette Three - Sweet and Elite

Vignette Four - A Bird in the Hoof

Vignette Five - The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well

Q&A, Part Two

Vignette Six - Owl's Well That Ends Well

Vignette Seven - Luna Eclipsed

Vignette Eight - Too Many Pinkie Pies

Vignette Nine - Spike At Your Service

Vignette Ten - A Canterlot Wedding

Q&A, Part Two-Point-Five

Vignette Eleven - Hearts and Hooves Day

Vignette Twelve - The Day Shift

Vignette Thirteen - Winter Wrap-Up

Vignette Fourteen - How Rarity Got Her Groovy Back

Vignette Fifteen - Bats!

Vignette Sixteen - Three's A Crowd

Vignette Seventeen - Filli Vanilli

Vignette Eighteen - Scars of the Quill

Vignette Twenty - Apple-Con

Q&A, Part Three