Season One, Part One
“So a few years ago, I find myself willed into existence. It’s kinda interesting, y’know? One second, I don’t exist, the next, I do. Not that I’m complaining, of course, existing is a lot better than not existing, but anyway, someone wanted to tell a story, and I was created as part of that story.” Quiver Quill rolled his eyes as he lifted a cup of juice. “At first, it was just going to be the one, but let me tell you, even the worst writers never have just one idea. And after I came along, more ideas came and one thing led to another.” He smiled and added, “Again, not complaining.”
-
“…Time went on, and… and this just goes on forever, doesn’t it? Where’s the dialogue? Where’s the action? This is all ‘mope, mope, woe is me, whiny emo’ crap and…”
“Cut!”
-
“And he could see it now, hear it now, the other ponies there laughing at him for his tears and his sorrow, his supervisors shaking their heads, and someone finally coming to him and telling him that he wouldn’t be an embarrassment to Amazing Booksellers anymore and…”
“Sir, are you alright?”
“Oh finally, almost fifteen hundred words in before we get some actual dialogue…”
As Twilight looked up with mild annoyance, the director’s voice yelled, “Cut!”
-
“It would take time, but Quiver Quill found himself back at work, both at Amazing Booksellers and on his prose, spurred on by their encouragement and hoping that someday, he’d meet them again. After all, they’d shown him kindness, and if there was one thing he’d wanted most, it was friends.” A pause, and the narrator remarked, “And if there’s one thing that I want, it’s to never do this again.”
As the narrator stomped out in a very loud and clear manner, Quiver looked to the production crew and remarked, “Yeah, I don’t think he’s coming back.”
-
“I’ve had nothing but surprises being a part of this series.” Sunset Shimmer leaned back in her chair as she amended, “Don’t get me wrong, these are nice surprises. I mean, I’m getting the chance to stretch my legs a little and do things that won’t happen in the animation, but still, surprises. I went into that first story with me thinking it’d be a one-shot and that would be that, but then we found out that my story and the first one the writer did would be part of the same storyline, and that I’d have more stories…” She laughed and added, “And don’t even get me started on how the comics ended up lending credence to our plot device.” A sigh as she laid her hands together in her lap. “Now if only I could get a little more of what I got in this in the official stuff.”
-
“…and action!”
“MAGIC POR–oof!” Pinkie Pie stumbled and fell forward as she burst through the portal into the bridge realm, and landed hard on her face. “Owww, my boobs!”
“Cut!”
-
“You’re not gonna find a single one of us who doesn’t think doing this series has been a lot of fun.”
“I’ll second that!” The pink-haired human took on an embarrassed smile as she admitted, “Even if I flubbed it a little here and there.”
“Aww.” Pinkie Pie patted her human counterpart upon the shoulder. “It’s okay, Pinkie. I flub sometimes too. But at least we can laugh about it, right?”
A smile broke out upon the girl’s face. “Yeah, we can.”
-
“MAGIC POR-ohohwhoa!” Pinkie Pie stumbled again, this time slipping backwards and falling onto her rear end. “Owww, right in the padding!”
“Cut!”
-
“MAGIC PORTAL!” Pinkie Pie made a perfect landing and beamed gleefully, before she blinked and remarked, “Shoot, I forgot my line.”
“Cut!”
-
“I was as surprised as anypony that my solo story got moved up in the production schedule.” Sunrunner leaned back in her chair as she shook her head. “Just as surprised that we ended up going back for reshoots. They weren’t a bad thing, though. The story got a lot better, and the way the second version ended up actually opened a lot more story possibilities for me.” She sighed as she studied the drink in her hoof. “Now if only I could get another solo story out.”
-
“But with all due respect, ma’am, we don’t have anything more to talk about.” Sunrunner then took hold of the forms in her teeth and attempted to rip them to shreds, only to find the paper refusing to budge.
Spitfire smirked and asked, “You sure you want to quit?”
The flame-maned mare spat out the forms and asked, “What kind of paper is this, the sort that they use for phone books?”
-
“It’s been an absolutely fabulous time during production, and a complete treat as well.” Rarity looked to the elegant unicorn at her side and remarked, “After all, I rarely get the chance to work with so brilliant a mare as this.”
A well-manicured hoof was dismissively waved towards her. “Oh hush, dear, you’re no slouch in terms of fabulousness yourself.” She then turned back to the interviewer and noted, “I will admit, however, to being a little frustrated at the odd reshoot, particularly with ‘Six Nights’. We went through all the trouble of learning our lines for that final part, and lo and behold, the whole thing gets redone. I just hope that we can salvage it somewhere.”
“Well, something of that sort did happen, dear.” Rarity turned thoughtful and noted, “At least, I hope so.”
-
“So aside from the jacket and backpack, you’ve been without any connection to your home for the last thirty months.” Rarity wrapped an arm around the girl. “I’m sorry, darling.”
Sunset smiled and picked up her backpack. “Well, I didn’t lose everything. I brought a lot of crap with me.” She opened it and revealed a number of items. “I brought these…” She fished out a number of sparkling gemstones and dropped them into the other girl’s lap. “…And these…” She pulled out several books and put them at her side. “And…” She pulled out something large, fluffy, pink and warm, and jaw-dropped in surprise. “How’d you get in there?”
Fluffle Puff simply blinked her big blue pony eyes and remarked, “Pftthpbt.”
-
“Honestly, I don’t see the appeal of this series in the slightest.” As Fluffle Puff lapped at a cup of milk beside her, Queen Chrysalis glowered and continued, “It doesn’t even have me in it. Not yet, anyway. I get the feeling the only reason the two of us are here is just to assuage my ego.”
“Pftthpbt?”
The changeling queen gave her fluffy friend a pat upon her head. “I’m sure the author likes you, Fluffles. It’s me he has issues with.” She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, doesn’t he know talent when he sees it?” She then sighed and noted, “Anyway, I know that he’ll get to me eventually, but something tells me he won’t do me justice.” A fanged grin appeared upon her face. “His problem, not mine.”
-
The instant she’d stepped into the small house’s kitchen, hoping to make herself a quiet cup of tea, she froze, her eyes locked on Pinkie’s older sister. Maud noticed her and turned, a blank expression on her face and a very large, very sharp knife in one hand.
“Someone break in?” Sunset casually asked.
“No, I just like holding up knives like this,” Maud droned in response.
Pinkie’s head immediately emerged from a cabinet as she sang, “ER-LIE IN THA’ MOR-NING!”
-
“Tell ya’ll the truth, Ah was glad ta know this storyline was continuin’, even if it meant Ah’d still pretty much be stuck in the background.” The orange pony gestured towards the human beside her and noted, “Kinda feels like this one gets more attention than Ah do, if’n you know what Ah mean.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Very funny comin’ from a gal who was childhood friends with a pop star.” The two shared a teasing grin before the human farmgirl continued, “Still, we seem to be able to do stuff that the animation ain’t, for one reason or another. Fer the life a’ me, Ah still can’t picture what Sunset’s place looks like in the series proper.”
“They’ll get to it when they need to, darlin’.” The pony smirked and noted, “Jes’ ask mah kinfolk.”
-
The two were greeted to the sight of Sunset kneeling down on the ground, laughing heartily as a large black dog gleefully licked at her face. She turned away and laughed, “Hi girls! Give me a second, I’ve got an oversized puppy here who isn’t quite…whoa!” As Fluttershy and Applejack did their best to stifle their laughter, Sunset lost her balance and sprawled out on her back as the dog continued to lick at her unhindered. Despite this, she couldn’t help but laugh. “Someone get a changeling, they’re missing the buffet!”
“Cut!”
-
“It’s actually kinda nice to be able to take a step back and let others have the spotlight a little.” Spike at her side, Twilight had a relaxed look on her face as she admitted, “Not every story has to be about me, thankfully.”
“At least the stories about you are actually pretty good.” The dragon took a second to grouse, “And you don’t turn into a dog for some of them.”
The alicorn smirked. “You just miss the belly rubs.”
“No!” The protest subsided slightly as he added, “Maybe, a little…”
She hugged him and added, “Regardless, I’ve got a hard time seeing a story where Spike isn’t with me. It’s less fun that way, and besides, someone has to show him how things are done.”
-
“Okay, explain it to me again.”
Twilight Sparkle laughed as she gestured upwards with a hoof, her wings drawn tight against her sides. “Tonight’s lunar phase is called a ‘waxing crescent’. Sometime next week, it’ll be a half-moon, and then it’ll phase into a ‘waxing gibbon’, and then…” She then realized her mistake and laughed. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Let me try it again!”
The little dragon snorted and cackled, “Now that’s an image for you!”
-
“I’m actually glad for the role I’ve gotten in this storyline.” Seventh Moon actually looked comfortable as he sipped from a bottle of water, slight hints of a smile upon his grey muzzle. “In the comics themselves I’m little more than a cameo, an Easter egg for the fans that Mr. Price likes to sneak in when he can. I only got dialogue because a script came up short. I didn’t even get a proper name. But the wonderful thing about fanfiction is that a writer can take something small and build upon it.” The smile grew bigger as he added, “And if I show up once, statistically, I stand a good chance of showing up again.”
An elegant mare strode past behind him, her curly mane bouncing with each step as she teasingly remarked, “Spoilers.”
-
Her friends’ murmurs of agreement ended as the stallion spoke. “I have been watching you and your friends’ exploits for some time, Twilight Sparkle.” The stallion removed his hat and bowed politely. “My name is Seventh Moon. I am a reference to another franchise dealing with alternate universes.” He replaced his hat and then pulled out a notepad and pen from his suit. “I’m also a fan. Can I have an autograph?”
-
“In some ways, I think this storyline has been very good for us.”
The alicorn princess looked to her human counterpart and raised an eyebrow. “Some? It’s been very good for us. I’ve actually had some time on-screen to show proper relationships with Luna, Twilight and Sunset, I’ve had development, my flaws are actually addressed, and I get to do more than get beaten down to show how powerful the new threat is.” She smiled and added, “And you haven’t fared too badly either.”
“Aside from being a prime example of Adults Are Useless, you mean,” Celestia sardonically replied.
The alicorn paused at that. “Ah. True. You’re probably going to see some trouble for that.”
-
At least, initially, as a knock sounded from her door. It creaked open as she went to answer it, and she smiled with relief as she looked upon her visitor. “Hello Principal Celestia.”
“You don’t need to call me by my title off school grounds, Sunset.” Celestia smiled warmly in turn, then looked a bit disappointed. “I suppose it was a little too much to hope that you’d…” She stopped as she felt something bump into the top of her head.
She looked up to find a boom mike being hurriedly moved back up as a voice called, “Sorry, my bad!”
She cracked a smirk in response and asked, “Are you sure it isn’t my fault for being so damn tall?”
Sunset visibly fought to keep from laughing as the director yelled “Cut!”
-
“Well, it was only natural that I ended up finding myself involved in this storyline, given the events we’ve adapted and that we’re going to adapt.” Discord paused. “Oh, I’m sorry, was that a spoiler? I thought it was fairly obvious what we were going to do, given everything with the Tree. Different path, of course, but roughly the same destination. And who knows? I might get up to a little fun along the way.”
-
“Girls, look!” Terror clear in her green eyes, Roseluck pointed skywards with a hoof and declared what was already clear as day, “The sun and moon are out at the same time! It’s day and night!”
“Worse!” Lily Valley directed their attention to another problem in the sky. “There are nasty-looking black clouds in the sky!” A flight of pegasi attempted to beat the clouds off, only to be pelted with lightning bolts or find themselves caught on the clouds’ thorn-like spikes. “And the Weather Team can’t get rid of them!”
“Even worse!” Flower Wishes, or Daisy as she was more commonly known, turned their attention earthward as thorny black vines sprouted up from the ground all around them. “We’re giving this horribly clumsy exposition, and I forgot my line! The horror! THE HORROR!”
-
“I like the fact that we’ve gotten some sweet moments so far in the storyline.” Fluttershy paused from cuddling with her pegasus counterpart and noted, “At least, I think that I’ve gotten some sweet moments.”
“Oh, we’ve definitely gotten some sweet moments. And thankfully, there were plenty of others to go around.” The pegasus smiled happily and added, “And more to come.”
-
It didn’t take long for her to find the source of the cries. A mess of books and party supplies and even the odd pet toy strewn on the floor before him was a stallion, closer in age to her brother Shining Armor than her, with a light tan coat and a slightly messy brown mane. He’d collapsed to the ground, a cart between him and the shelving unit suggesting some accident, but that wasn’t what caught Twilight’s attention the most about the scene. It was the fact that the stallion, while showing no sign of physical injury, was in the midst of tears, a sight that prompted further concern. She wasn’t sure what she could do to help as she approached the stallion, but she’d do her best. “Sir, are you alright?”
The stallion stopped, and looked up at her with deep brown eyes, surprise clear in them but quickly overtaken by sorrow as he sobbed an answer. “No! I’m not alright! I’m a failure! A screw up! I can’t do a single…!”
Quiver was interrupted as a familiar fluffy pink pony popped out of the bin behind him, took one look at him, gasped, and then pulled him into a warm hug. He then grinned like an idiot and hugged her back.
“So warm and snuggly…”
A warm grin formed on Twilight’s face as she cooed at the sight. “Awww…”
-
“This series has been an absolute joy for both of us!” The Princess of the Night gleefully hugged her human counterpart as she elaborated, “Not only am I seeing logical development based upon the animation, but thanks to this, we can retcon away the worst implications of my counterpart’s portrayal.”
Luna sighed. “I would have had to have been a massive idiot to not see Sunset’s ploy for what it was in the first film. Thanks to the events of this series, I come across as a bit less useless. As I should be.” She turned glum and added, “Celestia, unfortunately…”
The alicorn gently shook her head. “No story is perfect, alas.”
-
“About anything in particular?” The pale blue girl strode forward with a smirk. “Certain MyStable posts, perhaps?”
“I had nothing…”
“Oh spare me!” Trixie dramatically pointed a finger into Sunset’s direction, only to sharply connect with the other girl’s nose. As Sunset pulled back in surprise, the blue girl gasped. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t scratch you, did I?”
“Cut!”
-
“Okay, honest truth, but I don’t think any of us was really happy with how things went with that holiday story.”
“You kidding?” The pegasus at her side was animated as she elaborated, “That thing was a small train wreck! We might’ve screwed up in the series, yeah, but at least the screw ups weren’t as forced!”
Rainbow Dash moved back into a comfortable position as she continued, “Anyway, I’m just glad a few extra scenes were added in to help tone things down. Plus the next story helped to patch things over.”
“You guys taking Sunset out to eat after you did that bit where you all turned on her was a good thing too.”
“Yeah, but something tells me that won’t be the end of it.”
-
“Alright then, first question! Name me one of Newton’s Three Laws of Motion!” A hand shot up from each student, and he called out, “Mister Snipsy-Snap again!”
“An object in motion will stay in motion unless it’s acted upon by an outside force!”
“Correctamundo! One down, nineteen to go! And another, Mister…Snailsquirm!” He made an expression that made obvious his disbelief at Snails’ name and asked, “Who comes up with these names, lawyers?”
-
“One good thing about appearing in this series is that I actually get to be a character, y’know?”
“Dude, compared to me, you already were a character.” The orange pegasus groaned. “I get a couple cameos in the series, but you at least show up in each of the movies. Plus you got toys.”
Flash Sentry sighed. “That’s what I get for being a male character in a show geared towards little girls.” He straightened up and added, “Still, even compared to the animation, I get more to do. I actually feel like a part of the story, instead of just someone the story happens to.”
“Kinda wish we hadn’t gotten a crappy backstory though.”
“Hey, it got better! And it fits with our characterization thus far, so it’s not like it’s right out of left field, right?” Flash looked to the interviewer and asked, “Right?”
-
Fluttershy then squeaked in surprise as she felt a warm embrace about her. She looked to find that Doctor Hope had given her the hug. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…”
“BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!”
The director’s voice was clearly furious as he shouted, “Pinkie Pie!”
-
“I’ll be the first to admit, I wasn’t happy about getting left out of the movie.” Shining Armor sat beside his wife as he continued, “I mean, yeah, I understand that it was Twilight’s movie, but I could have at least put in a token appearance.”
“Really, Shiny?” Cadance put on a teasing grin. “You just wish that you’d been there to glare at Flash.”
“I wouldn’t have glared at him.” The red in the stallion’s face suggested otherwise, though he quickly cooled down. “Anyway, me showing up in-story lampshading things did help, and I’m looking forward to popping up in the future.” He rolled his eyes and noted, “Even if all I’m going to do is get Worfed.”
The alicorn gently punched her husband. “I go through that too, remember?”
“Yeah, but you still get to be amazing anyway.”
A grin formed on Cadance’s face as she nuzzled her husband. “Charmer.”
-
Fluttershy looked up in terror and whispered, “What did we do? What can we–?”
“SUNSET!” Attention turned to Pinkie Pie as she screamed, “SUNSET! YOU WERE THE GREATEST MARE I EVER KNEW! YOU WILL BE AVENGED! I WILL ASSEMBLE THE AVENGERS, AND THEN YOU WILL BE AVENGED!”
“Pinkie, she’s not dead!” A beat, and Rainbow Dash added, “And that’s not how the quote goes!”
“Well it’s how it should’ve gone! It would’ve been funnier that way!”
-
“Really, I’m just glad us background ponies are getting equal billing to the regulars in this. It’s always nice to know that you’re loved.” Derpy grinned and waved to the camera as she finished, “So thanks everyone! See you again soon!”
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This got quite a few chuckles out of me. If everyone celebrated April 1st like this instead of what we usually get, I'd probably have a positive opinion of the day. Have an upvote.
EDIT: That said, though, the story could have done better without all the self-depreciation. A tiny bit can work for humor, but too much and it just brings down the mood. And if these self-depreciating moments are your actual thoughts (as I'm suspecting they are), then stop that. Even with your past missteps, you're a good writer. If you see your own shortcomings, don't self-flagellate over them; learn from them, and improve yourself.
8066113 Thanks, for both the enjoyment and the encouragement.
Heh can readers send questionw to the characters?
8224242 ...I hadn't thought of that, but hey, why not?
8224317
Cool! Hehehe. when can we send questions?
8224350 Go ahead and start now. If I get ten questions, I'll go ahead and put together another chapter. But they won't answer any questions that lead to spoilers.
8224350 Oh, and please either post them in my most recent blog post, or send them via a note.