What happens when a veteran MMORPG player is reunited with the very first MMO he ever played but, it was picked up and remade by a very unknown company? Not only that, but one of the players he meets is a little...too familiar. We shall see.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is...bad, but in a forgettable kind of way. The cliches are all here, but it just doesn't stand out.
Well maybe Z can think like this a new game plus for him. Ya know like a new slate right? Probs be for the best that Luna stay low and away from him on a account of our main man might beat the blue out of her fur ya?
7655220 It is not easy when every kind of scene has been played out in multiple fics with similar situations. Keep that in mind.
this is a great story so far, but I must insist you reread what you write/written and fix your errors, if I didn't know what you meant with them then I would be confused.
story idea and concept: 9 out of 10
grammer errors, spelling errors, and words being doubled errors: 3 out of 10
the 3 is for how little errors I saw, but don't detract from your overall idea and vision.
just trying to help fix the 'glitches'. still a great story.
7655691 I take it that you're new here?
7655451 Not just "every scene". You're using the same formula that's been done here before.
Unlikable human arbitrarily gets sent to Fictionland with magic/powers/species transformation to show how powerful/heroic/awesome/sad/attractive they are. The market's saturated with this...material.
No offense.
7655783 Now how about this. likable human who already possesses exceptional abilities already and is instantly overpowering even the diarchy and everyone else. Doesn't that fall into the same line? And if you try to meet in the middle. You will still get complaints. No story is perfect. I know my work isn't for everyone. That is why I simply always say. "if you do not like my work, you don't have to read it.". Not trying to start up anything ehre, and I am not saying you are a troll. Just trying to maintain peace in the comments is all.
7655783 no, I put that on the wrong person and I apologize/apologise for that, and I will also blame my system for the mistake also. again I am sorry and hope you accept my apology, and yes I have problems with remembering how to spell some words at times sorry again.
a bit fast paced.....
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Luna, what does that stupid pony princess thinks she is doing kidnapping people against their will.
Apology? Why the hell would you apologize?