• Published 6th Oct 2016
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What Hurts More - FerociousCreation



Flash Sentry has been having the same dream every night; he dreams of Twilight Sparkle. And every day, he is reminded that the Twilight in his world is not the one he knows. But despite his dreams, he is not the only one having trouble with coping.

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What Hurts More

What Hurts More

Ch. 3

A rough sigh escapes Sunset Shimmer as I take a bite out of my frownie. I take a gander around her shoulder to see if Pinkie Pie was nearby to ensure the rule of the frownies has been implemented. But I didn’t see the pink-haired girl around.

“I could have guessed you were thinking about her,” Sunset speaks with disappointment in her voice. I know that is not true, but given that I said I was dreaming of the otherworldly girl, it still bothered Sunset Shimmer no less. After all, I did tell her I was over Twilight. Now I tell her I am dreaming about her. “So what made you relapse? Can’t move on?”

There is no reason for me to be angry with Sunset anymore. It is not because I am giving in to her constant pestering on trying to get me to open up. It’s because I didn’t have a chance to relapse; I never got over Twilight. And I lied to Sunset.

“I can explain why I have not.”

“Really now?” Her brow raised suspiciously as she examined me as I looked at my half-eaten sweet.

My back finds its way to a locker door so I can at least remove some strain from my legs; I have been standing for a while. But I hesitate to speak the truth, yet it must come out. “It’s because… Twilight is here. My dreams are because of her.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that Twilight, the one that goes here…” Pain grips my throat and my heart. I know how close Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer are. How could I tell Sunset that her friend is the cause of my pain?

Easily.

By telling her anyways.

“Everyday...” I start slowly, not wanting to resume. But I still press on, pushing aside my emotions and allowing my mind speak for once. “...I come here, I see Twilight Sparkle. But… she is not the one I know. She is not the first one I met before. I just miss Twilight; the Twilight from your world.” I take the final bite of my frownie, enjoying it with each and every chew.

A finger from Sunset is stabbed at my direction. “You think I don’t miss her?” Less anger was in her eyes and she seemed more calm from before. “Flash, Twilight Sparkle is the one who helped me be the way I am.” Sunset held her right hand on her chest to emphasize how much Twilight meant to her. “No longer am I the hurtful person from before. I admire her! I strive to be more like her.”

“Then why have you told me before to get over her?” I argue. “I like her for what she did to help you and more.”

“Because she has not gotten back to me in so long. Twilight Sparkle is a princess, and a princess obviously has duties to attend to. Even I cannot rely on her presence to make me happy and neither should you. Just be her supporting friend when Twilight does come around.”

That is very true; I wouldn’t doubt being a princess would have its perks and flaws. Perhaps I shouldn’t rely on Twilight being around to make me happy. I was also shocked to hear such advice from Sunset. Very wise and true.

But Sunset Shimmer’s statement made me curious. “What do you mean ‘gotten back to me?’”

A sudden change of body language shifted Sunset, making herself look uncomfortable. Her right arm was crossed over her belly and her left elbow rested on her right hand. “I mean she hasn’t come through the portal in a long time.”

She is hiding something and I do not like that. When Sunset and I used to date, she would always hide something from me despite her previous tough girl attitude. And now she is doing it again, which is making me now frustrated with her. “You’re not telling me something.”

Then, Sunset breaks eye contact with me and brings her left hand to her chin. A sure sign something is being held back. “Tell me about your dreams. What do your dreams consist of?”

I would rather pursue Sunset as she segwayed back to the subject of my dreams, but I didn’t think I can get anything out of her right now. But I will note that she is hiding something.

“Every night is the same dream. I see Twilight Sparkle standing before the portal mirror. She reaches out her hand in hopes that I take it, then falls back into the mirror. I then try to force my way into the portal and end up falling into a black pit.”

I was expecting some form of compassion from Sunset Shimmer, but instead got a gruff response. “Sounds to me that you need her. That’s not a good thing.” She shook her head with disapproval and even I feel pathetic now that I think about it. If Sunset was good at one thing when we were dating is how she made me feel like the bad guy, when it was the complete opposite.

“I can’t help it when I have this world’s Twilight Sparkle constantly reminding me of her. It hurts you know.” My hand reached into the bag of frownies on its own and picks one for me. I guess I really needed to talk about my sad thoughts.

“And if it hurts, then remove the problem! Don’t think about her. Move! On!” Sunset gestured her hands as she spoke her words in front of her, jabbing every finger toward my vicinity.

Is Sunset’s advice worth following? She isn’t wrong. Just the thoughts of Twilight are poison; but I like the poison. As I looked at my frownie, looking at the cracked chocolate caked on one side. A figurative meaning to my fragile emotions perhaps. Despite that, I thought about the times I had with Twilight Sparkle; thinking about the small amount of association we had, yet the connection I felt with her. And every time she and I bumped into each other, Twilight always fell over and… nervously stuttered over her words.

“Sunset, if you want me to move on, then why is Twilight always so happy to see me?”

“Be-cause she misses you. I am sure you would do the same for your friends if you hadn’t seen them for a long time.” She stuttered at the beginning of her sentence. It was small and it may be me overthinking this entire situation, but Sunset seems very defencive about me thinking about Twilight.

“Do you think she likes me?”

Sunset could no longer keep herself still, discomforted by something; our conversation. She keeps slowing rocking her body back and forth as if she was trying to keep herself awake. But Sunset Shimmer was not bored with our talk. In fact, she is well aware of what is being discussed.

“You said you wanted to go check up on Twilight earlier right?” Sunset spoke low. “Why don’t you go do that.”

Now she is beginning to frustrate me as she evaded my question. First I accuse her of hiding something from me and she changes the subject back to me. Then, I ask Sunset if she thinks Twilight Sparkle likes me and she tries to shoo me off like an annoying insect. And that is something I am not going to let by.

“Why are you trying to brush me away? All I asked was a yes or no question.”

“And I am done with this discussion!” Now I know me liking Twilight Sparkle is a negative thing to Sunset Shimmer. If I were to guess, she might be jealous. “Now why don’t you go check up on this world’s Twilight Sparkle and see if she is alright. I am done talking with you.” She then turns around and walked to the end of the hall, facing the white wall that ended the hallway. The light above us flickered rapidly before one of the bulbs went dead.

Before I have a chance to remark to the sudden change in attitude from Sunset, a voice speaks from down the hall. “You don’t have to check up on me.” I look at the end of the hallway to see Twilight Sparkle holding a book tight in her grasp. Slowly, she light-violet girl started to come our way.

“How long have you been listening?” Sunset ordered, her voice sounding… sad.

“I heard enough,” Twilight admitted.

My heart skipped a beat as Twilight spoke her words and I worried she heard what I had to say about her. “So, did you hear what I had to say about you.”

As soon as Twilight was right in front of me, she adjusted her glasses with her thumb, still holding onto her book. She smiled and said, “I did but you don’t have to feel bad for upsetting me. I completely understand why. I am not her. I am someone else.” Twilight’s eyes looked at the back of Sunset Shimmer, wanting to bring her into the conversation. “But Twilight and I are alike and are willing to help her friends, correct?”

“Yeah, you are,” Sunset answered for herself and I. But she refused to turn around to allow Twilight to get a good look at her.

“Yes,” I comment as well, though it may not have been necessary.

“Then I will be the middleman in all this- or rather, middlewoman. Are you two okay with that?”

“Sure…” Sunset mutters. Twilight looks to me and I nod slightly, okay with her intervention.

“So why did you brush off Flash’s question about Twilight Sparkle liking him?” Twilight asked carefully, obviously asking Sunset Shimmer. Finally, she turns around with her arms folded, probably still trying to hold something back. “Why avoid the question and try having Flash just walk off to check up on me? That’s not fair for him to tell you his emotions and you not contributing to his statements.”

“Because I am jealous…” Sunset speaks clearly but low. “I am sick of him coming around asking me, his ex-girlfriend, if Twilight has been around.” She points a sharp finger at me as if she was accusing me of some horrible act. Twilight and I watch as Sunset brings her left index finger to her now quivering lip. Then her hand covers her shameful eyes as she sniffs hard from her nose. My eyes glance at Twilight as she probably has the same frown as I.

“Do you know what hurts more than Flash coming to me asking for Twilight Sparkle?” The girl I used to call girlfriend began to shed rare tears. Because of her hand covering her face, I saw very little of the stream of salt, but enough to know Sunset was crying.

Only once did my eyes even witness Sunset Shimmer having water in her eyes, and that was when she begged for forgiveness in a pit after she tried to control me and the other teens for an otherworldly domination.

“Do you?” Sunset Shimmer asked again as she whimpered. Twilight nor I dared to answer the question because we don’t know “what hurts more.”

“What hurts more than Flash coming to me and asking about Twilight is…” No longer hiding her face, Sunset removes her hand and looks at me with bitterly depressed eyes. “...is how much I blew it…”

Helpless, I watched Sunset clench her eyes tightly as she pressed the salty droplets out of her eyes. My eyes glanced at Twilight for a moment to see her wear a face of worry. I could only imagine how she felt about Sunset Shimmer.

“What do you mean?” Twilight Sparkle asked, taking a few steps forward to the lamenting girl.

When Sunset opened her sad eyes, they pointed hard at me. “You are not the only one with a daily reminder; a reminder that only hurts.”

“Is it me?” I ask.

“Yes,” she nodded slowly. “Everyday I see you, I feel happy. I basically have a schoolgirl crush on you...” I slightly flinch as her words slam into the drums of my ears. “But when you asked for Twilight before, I was always reminded of how much I blew it. I realized too late how lucky I was to have you as a boyfriend. And every! Time! You ask about her is a stabs me in the heart; I tell myself how big of an idiot I was to lose you. That is why I wanted you to get over Twilight Sparkle. Not to try and take you for myself, but to stop my hurt.”

“Are you sure you told him that just to stop your heartache?” Twilight asked, not allowing her to make us feel sorry for her. Too bad I couldn’t help but pity her. “You just contradicted yourself.”

Sunset Shimmer looked at me shyly and twiddled her thumbs with guilt in her eyes. “Like I said, I still have a bit of a crush on you still.” I felt both flustered at frustrated with her. Perhaps a small flame in my heart rekindled a feeling I haven't felt in a long time: love. But at the same time, this hypocrite before me dared to tell me to get over Twilight Sparkle when she couldn’t move on from me.

My hand gripped hard on the plastic bag filled with frownies as sweat enveloped in my palm. Remembering their purpose, I walk toward Sunset Shimmer and reach into the bag. I swirl of emotions crash over me as I approach her. I do feel some amount of pity for her. To want someone for yourself and have yourself belong to that someone. But I was angry with her as well. Her hypocritical attitude made me not trust her as much as I used to. Which side of my heart should I go to? What should I say to her? Does she even deserve a frownie?

With the bag in my fist, I hold out the bag of chocolate sweets to Sunset Shimmer. Despite my anger with her, I still sympathise with her more. Perhaps I am a fool to not be outraged. “Take one,” I say comfortably. “They are frownies.”

A silly grin grew on Sunset’s face as she wiped her tears with an arm. Taking them from my hand, she reaches into the plastic bag and takes out one. “Did you make these?”

“Pinkie Pie made them,” Twilight answered. My head turned to see her smiling at my kindness. “I am surprised you are not furious with Sunset.”

I look back at Sunset to see her eating a frownie that has nearly been finished. “I’ll admit, it is a little frustrating to hear you say one thing and do exactly what you told me not to do.” My words come out low and deep to emphasize my attitude, not condoning Sunset’s action. “But I do understand what it is like to have a daily reminder cause you pain.” Looking at Twilight Sparkle, I see her still clenching her book tightly. “Don’t we, Twilight?”

“What do you mean?” Sunset Shimmer asked, as she stepped forward.

“I think Twilight should tell you.” The light-purple girl squeezed hard onto her book, trying to shield herself from us. But that only emphasized that something was wrong. “I told your friends that you and I were talking about nightmares this morning before I wanted to come and check on you. Of course, Sunset and I got in a bit of an argument before I had the chance.”

“Are they worried?” Twilight asked shyly.

“Of course we are.” Sunset Shimmer walked forward to Twilight Sparkle. “What are your nightmares about?”

***

“I thought you were no longer afraid of Midnight Sparkle,” Sunset Shimmer spoke.

“Remember the theme to all of our problems: daily reminders,” Twilight Sparkle replied.

Sunset, Twilight and I sat on the ground on the wall, discussing Twilight’s constant nightmares. We occasionally brought up my dreams and Sunset’s hypocritical attitude to try and pinpoint our problem. The bag of frownies have been completely consumed to my disappointment. But they served their purpose and no one was angry with anyone.

With no more sadness to be shed, the three of us were now frustrated. We now knew our problems, but had no solution.

“Any ideas as to how to solve our dilemma?” Twilight asked Sunset and I. But we both shook our heads.

“I wonder if Twilight would know what to do,” I say. But I quickly correct myself and look at Sunset Shimmer. “Not to get you upset, I just-”

“Don’t worry,” Sunset interrupted. “I wonder that as well.”

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

The sound of the bell startled us. It ripped through the quiet air as the girls and I sat alone in the hallway. “Guess that is our time to go,” I say, standing up. I turn around and reach out both of my hands to help Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer onto their feet.

“Such a gentleman,” Twilight giggled. If this world’s Twilight was not in a relationship, I might have blushed.

“Why do you think I dated him?” Sunset smirked.

I thought about what had just been said and I looked at her. “So Sunset, you have no way to contact Twilight Sparkle? She may have an answer to our reminders.”

“Sorry I don’t…,” she answered. Her answer led to Sunset frowning and Twilight looking at her suspiciously.

I guess we won’t know if she does have the answer we three are looking for. “Then why don’t we hang out after school. Like old times. We should talk more about what goes through our heads.” Despite everything that had just happened, I still want to be sure Sunset is feeling well after today.

“Oh- sure.” Sunset Shimmer looked around nervously. “You remember I still have that crush on you.”

I shrug, “Who’s there to stop you? Perhaps you are right. Maybe I should get over Twilight and move on.” I begin to hate myself as the words leave my mouth and felt weak. Allowing myself to fallback on Sunset Shimmer after she told me she has crush on me. How pathetic have I become? Perhaps I am desperate for a relationship.

“N-no no, you don’t have to for my sake.”

“How come?”

In one quick motion, Sunset Shimmer grabbed Twilight Sparkle’s wrist and pulled her away from me. “Let’s go Twilight.” The light-violet girl yelped as Sunset yanked her down the hall. Twilight began swearing complex words I have no understanding of nor knew of their existence as she was dragged.

What in the world happened?

***

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

A sigh of relief escaped me, glad my language arts class is finished. If there is one thing that confused me about that class is how many years I have to take of it. If I already know how to right, then why must we know punctuation and other nonsense. Ironic how high school graduation requirements make students take one year of Spanish, but four years are needed on how to use the English language properly.

Whoever decides to take a liking to writing is insane.

After I reach my locker and open it, I toss in the heavy books I have been lugging around into it. All I needed was guitar. A few days ago I left my lovely instrument in the locker for music class and it is the only homework that I want to get done tonight; everything is due Monday, so no need to take my books home.

“OOF!” A body bumps into my back and my forehead bumps into a screwhead. The pain shoots through my brain and I now have a headache. But I know who bumped into me.

“Interesting to see you here,” I say as I remove my head from the locker. Sure enough, I saw Twilight Sparkle standing behind me.

She gasped in shock at the sight of me. “Your forehead! It’s bleeding! I’m so sorry!” My hand naturally gravitated to my forehead and I wiped at it. Sure enough, there was some blood, but barely any. “Here, let me get you an antibacterial wipe!”

But before Twilight Sparkle could reach into her bag, I shook my head with a smile. “It is just a scratch.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Convinced, Twilight Sparkle nodded. “So how are you feeling?”

“Good.” I turn my attention back to my locker. “Just grabbing my guitar.”

“Then you are going to be feeling better because I have a surprise for you.”

Just before my hand reaches my instrument, it freezes at Twilight’s words. “Is that so?” I didn’t feel that the surprise was going to be that surprising, so my reaction was not so… surprised. “You bring more frownies from Pinkie Pi-”

Someone bumps into my back and my face hits that same blasted screw head, cutting me a second time. And I know Twilight was the perpetrator. “Twilight, I have heard of first time’s a charm. But as for a second time, you should be able to be more careful.”

“S-sorry, you know how clumsy I can be, hehe…” She is acting strange all of a sudden. “You know me- The silly princess. Always bumping into you. Here.” Any pain I felt in my head before left me in an instant. I didn’t want to look back because I was afraid I was dreaming. That I fell asleep in language arts because of the boring Shakespeare discussion. But I remember the entire lecture. Slowly, I turn my head and see Twilight Sparkle, her bun nicely wrapped behind her head and glasses firmly placed on her face. But to her left, another girl exactly like her stood shyly, twirling a finger in her long hair.

There was no doubt about it. This is her. This is the Twilight Sparkle I bumped into one year ago.

I couldn’t believe it, nor could I contain my emotions. “Twilight!” My arms open up to her, hoping she would come in for a hug. But I didn’t expect her to jump at the sight of my affection. Her body lunged forward, arms wide ready to embrace me. She wrapped her arms tightly around my body and I held her not as hard.

“I missed you,” I whisper. Twilight head rested nicely against my chest and I wondered if she could hear my pounding heart.

“Me too.” A hand rubbed my back, a sure sign she felt the same way. My eyes see the other Twilight smiling brightly at Twilight and I, perhaps glad to see the reunion. “Sunset Shimmer told me you missed me a lot.”

Interesting you would mention her. “What do you mean?” Feeling our reunion has been well celebrated enough, I break contact with Twilight.

“Well, Sunset Shimmer just contacted me and told me she, you and Twilight had some friendship issue. So, here I am!” Despite her enthusiasm to help, I was more shocked to hear what the princess had to say.

“Exactly how did she contact you?” While the princess still had her happy attitude, my world’s Twilight Sparkle looked a bit uneasy.

“Well,” the otherworldly girl began, “Sunset Shimmer has this journal she can write into and it delivers a message directly to another one that I possess.

“Is that so…”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Twilight frowned at me.

“Yes…”