• Published 6th Oct 2016
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What Hurts More - FerociousCreation



Flash Sentry has been having the same dream every night; he dreams of Twilight Sparkle. And every day, he is reminded that the Twilight in his world is not the one he knows. But despite his dreams, he is not the only one having trouble with coping.

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Relentless Dreams

What Hurts More

Ch. 1

I couldn’t believe my eyes. After months of her absence, Twilight Sparkle came through the mirror. She’s finally back!

Flash.” Her voice echoed through the air as she spoke. Why did she sound so far away? Twilight was right in front of me, right in front of the portal between her world and mine. She lifts her light-purple arm and her fingers she so awkwardly uses unravel in hopes that I take her hand. But before I get the chance to react, Twilight falls backwards into the mirror. Not taking the chance of losing her again, I reach out to grab her. But I miss.

My hands touch the now sealed portal, unable to reach the one I care about. I pound hard on the glass, practically begging for it to open. In a fit of anger, my shoulder rams hard against the surface. It shatters. And I fall into a black abyss.

A yell escapes my throat before I notice myself sitting upright in my bed.

Another dream.

Another nightmare.

The dim light from the moon lights my small room. A quick glance at the clock tells me the time: 2:47am. Geeze, can’t it be at least 5? Naturally, I begin cracking my knuckles. A habit I do whenever I wake up. I don’t know why I do it but it’s done anyways.

Thinking a late-night snack will do me some good, my legs move from my bed and to the door. The moment I open the door to the hallway, a figure stood at my door. I would be surprised if I didn’t expect it, but this isn’t the first time my mother checked up on me when I woke up screaming from a nightmare. I mean, at least this night I just woke up with a shout.

“Flash,” my mother mumbled, still half asleep, “is everything was okay? I heard you yell.”

“I am fine,” I speak with a smile she can’t see. I wish she would not do this every time I was upset over something. But I guess a mother’s job doesn’t stop, even when I could stand on my own.

“Was it another dream about the girl?”

My mother’s words made me turn my head so I could hide my frown. But the moon’s light was out to get me and shined on my upset face. And when my mom knew something was wrong, she made sure everything was okay before leaving me.

I know she cares. I just hate sharing my feelings sometimes. Sometimes I wish to keep my hurt to myself, like a dog left to lick his wounds.

“Come downstairs with me Flash.” Her words were comforting. She also spoke with a tone that you should not go against. I hesitated, but I still followed my mother downstairs and into the kitchen.

The kitchen switch clicked before the light shooed the darkness away. The brightness stabbed at my eyes for a minute before I could open them comfortably. Once I could see clearly, a plate is presented to me. “I made you your favorite sandwich: peanut butter and banana.”

Mother knows best. Heavy on the stomach and a sweet flavor to compliment. How she made it so quickly I have no idea. But at least I didn’t have to make it this time. Still feeling a slight bit of drowsy in my eyes, I sit down at the round table we have and take a big bite out of my snack.

“So was your dream about that Twilight girl again?”

If there is one thing that is annoys me is when I take a bite of food and then someone asks me a question, expecting an immediate reply. Once I do swallow, I answer a simple, “yes.”

A disappointing sigh escapes my mother. I am not surprised. Every time Twilight is mentioned in my mom’s presence, I expect the same response. “You need to move on from her Flash.” And there it is. And it is not the first time someone said that. Sunset Shimmer at the summer camp we went to a few months back told me to stop asking about Twilight Sparkle. I did tell Sunset that I did move on, but it was an easy lie.

“It’s not that easy Mom,” I mutter before taking another bite.

“You think I don’t know that? I went through many crushes and breakups before I met your father.” Again, something I have heard so many times over. “You will find the right one when the time comes.”

Frustrated, I run my hands through my hair. “Mom, do you know what it is like to have a girl who wears the same face as Twilight, not be the real one you really care about?” I get no response from mom. I know in her lifetime of relationships she didn’t have to deal with two of the same individual. “The Twilight Sparkle I know is in another dimension. The Twilight Sparkle in this world is not the one I… really like…”

I hate to argue with my mother. Usually it involves Dad, and I would not like to have him angry at this hour. “Mom, just… understand that it will take some time to get over her. Please let me sort it out on my own.”

“Alright sweetie.” I am glad Mom is not cutting into the subject too deep. A small kiss meets my cheek before she walks out of the kitchen. “Turn off the lights when you are done. Good night Flash.”

“Goodnight Mom.”

Finally some time alone to myself. But the moment my mother leaves, I realize that I am alone.

Alone…

With no one…

I look at my nearly consumed sandwich with a frown, knowing why I am awake at this time. Why must two Twilights exist?

***

My pestering sister kept bothering me all morning, knowing I was dreaming about Twilight Sparkle. I think my mother told her.

“Haha, Flash can’t get over the magical girl,” she bit at my heels as I made my way to the door with my backpack in hand.

I would argue with Leap Year, but she doesn’t know what heartache is like. Nor would I like her to know what it feels like either. “I am off to school!” I call out into the house. Leap Year covers her ears over my booming voice. Perhaps the most innocent way to get back at my annoying sibling. I look down to her with a smile despite her morning shenanigans. “Have fun today kiddo.” Feeling a little mean, my hand reached for Leap Year’s already made hair and mess it up a little.

“Hey!” she rebels. But it was too late for her to strike back. I was already running.

***

It is a good three miles until I finally arrive to school. Most of the time I get a ride from Mom, but I have been doing this more recently. Mostly to get away from Leap Year and her pestering questions about Twilight Sparkle. But just the thought about the other worldly girl makes me want to be on my own. I like to think about her alone. Even if it poisons my heart.

Such a nice person she is. I miss her. And I do hope she does miss me too.

After an hour of walking, the school was in the clearing. Sun shining brightly in my face, but I don’t mind. It’s giving me something to focus on. I don’t always think about Twilight-

“OOF!”

“AGH!”

Though I should watch where I walk. The blinding light didn’t help me see who was in front of me and I knocked a girl down.

“Sorry, I couldn’t see because of the sun,” I say apologetically, reaching down to help her up.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t stop in front of people.”

I know that voice. But I know it is not the one that I am fond of. Shading my face from the sun, I see who I knocked down. It was Twilight Sparkle. Her hand gently slides onto mine. With a pull of my arm, Twilight now stands on her own. I watch her brush herself off of anything that may have clung to her clothing. Her neatly done bun seems unharmed in her fall but she adjusts it anyways. “Oh, hey Flash Sentry,” she smiles as she pushes her glasses up with a finger. “Our usual bumping into each other routine has been fulfilled as usual.” Sometimes I think fate has a way of toying with my mind. The other Twilight Sparkle seems to always bump into me when she is around. And now this one does the same thing.

But again, this was not the one I know.

Twilight Sparkle looked around to see if anything she was carrying fell to the ground, but didn’t think so after a few moments. “How are you doing this morning?” I ask.

“Very well,” she replies with a smile. “Though it can be a bit difficult when your glasses cause the sun’s light to glare into your eyes.” Her glasses. A defining feature about this world’s Twilight. Helps remind me not to overreact and think it is other Twilight. “Yourself? You seem a bit tired?”

“Oh, just having a hard time sleeping.”

“What do you do before you go to sleep?” Without asking each other, Twilight and I begin to walk toward the school entrance.

“Well, normally I go to bed right after I eat.”

“And what do you eat?”

“Normally my Mom makes a delicious dinner that is normally fried or spicy.”

“If you are eating greasy or spicy foods before bed, it can not only cause indigestion, but summon up bad thoughts. Even nightmares.”

I guess that is one step to stopping my constant dreaming about Twilight. “Hmm, never knew that.” I shrug with a smile.

“Think of spicy and fatty foods as a metaphor.” Twilight lifts up her finger, now in lecture mode. “Fatty foods can clog up arteries, as they may also clog up your happy thoughts. And the spicy foods, that may cause heartburn in the process, may cause some discomfort as you rest.”

Sometimes, I’ll admit I can be a bit harsh toward my world Twilight. Perhaps my frustration is directed more at fate and not this one. Both Twilight’s are charming in their own way. Probably a lot more than I would like. I laugh a little, adoring Twilight’s insight on foods leading to nightmares. “Thanks for the tip. I’m feeling smarter already. Maybe you should be teaching this school.”

“But before I do that,” Twilight countered, “I need to work on my social skills by learning about friendship. Funny how someone as smart as I am knows nothing about interacting much with people.”

“As far as I can see, you socializing with me with your knowledge of nightmare causing foods is good enough for me.” I wiggled my fingers in front of me, as if what she was saying before was just some ridiculous brain talk.

The light-violet girl let out a giggle, letting me know I have some funny in me. “Thanks. You sure are humorous.”

Just before I reached out an arm to pull her in, my body tenses up. It happens every time we talk. We greet, we discuss, she smiles. She smiles just like her. But this Twilight’s grin is more of a sneer, reminding me again and again who is before me.

The two of us reach the rectangular pillar where the Wonder Colt statue used to be. Now the school just calls it Colt Pillar. This was the place Twilight Sparkle waits for her friends before the bell rings.

Twilight leans against a mirror not facing the sun to hide from it and faces me. “So are you having nightmares after you eat your mother’s food?”

“Sometimes.” Rather not tell her that it is an every night thing.

“And what are your dreams about?”

“Personal matters,” I spit out. I’d rather not start my day by talking about a girl with another girl who happens to be the same girl, but is not really that same girl. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Oh, sorry… I didn’t mean to-”

“No no,” I waved a reassuring hand. “You’re just being a good friend is all.” Despite the fact we don’t hang out often. But I don’t think she would argue that we are not. “Remember, you are working on your social skills and friendship abilities.”

Another laugh escaped from Twilight. Even if it is not Twilight, it’s still… Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle let out a depressed sigh. “You are not the only one having a hard time sleeping.”

“Hmm?” Didn’t expect that. “How so? Not eating anything greasy before bed right?”

“No,” she laughed before losing her smile. Taking a gander upwards, Twilight jabbed her finger into the air to where the statue used to be. “My nightmares consist of that.”

“When you destroyed the Wonder Colt statue?”

Invisible weights pull Twilight down and she slumped to the ground. She brought her knees close to her body and wrapped her arms around her legs. I watched with a frown as the girl rested her back against what is now Colt Pillar.

Wanting to help, I take a knee beside her and ask, “Twilight, what’s the matter?” Somehow, helping her now reminds me of the time I prevented other Twilight from being unable to be a candidate for the Fall Formal Princess. Now that I think about it, I do think about her an awful lot… However, she is not important right now. The Twilight before you is in need of some company.

“It’s just… Everytime I come to the school, I wait for my friends here by Colt Pillar here...” Twilight jabbed her thumb at her back support. “...I am reminded of what I have done. How I destroyed the Wonder Colt statue.” I nodded to comply that I was listening. “Everyday is a constant reminder of my wrong doing. And almost every night I sleep, I see… her.”

My brows creased by the vagueness of Twilight’s statement. “Who is ‘her?’” I ask. I know it’s not about other Twilight.

She looked a bit unsure, as if she didn’t want to resume her venting. But I saw determination flare up in her eyes so she can get whatever is on her mind off her chest. “Midnight Sparkle. My dark persona.”

“So it’s evil Twilight Sparkle that worries you, yes?”

“Correct.”

Great, now there are three Twilight Sparkles to think about… “Why does Midnight Sparkle worry you so much?” I ask calmly. “She isn’t real. All she is is a nasty thought.”

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes turned angry at me suddenly. “Oh, she is very real. An evil spirit resonates within me, and I fear she may take over.” Her fingers fiddle with her necklace wrapped around her neck. A small medallion rested at the base of her neck that had a star embedded in it. I remember where she got it. Back at summer camp, one of our camp proctors became consumed by dangerous magic. Thankfully, Twilight and her friends were able to stop her by using their medallions. How they got it, I have no clue.

“I have conquered my fear in using magic,” Twilight resumed. “But my biggest worry is her. The evil Twilight Sparkle. I am worried that she may consume me suddenly and take over.”

Twilight squeezes her legs within her arms grasp, frustrated with her ordeal. And here I thought I had it bad with my nightmares. Apparently I don’t know the meaning of word nightmare. One seems to live inside Twilight.

I try to make an input, but the girl in distress raises a hand to stop any sound that may come from my mouth. She isn’t done talking. Not yet. “Which brings me back to Colt Pillar.” I feel my voice build in my chest, but my lips are shut tight. Only my ears are wide open ready to listen. “Every day! I see the absence of this school’s cherished statue. And I know why. It was me. Every day is a reminder of my act of wrath, power, and the birth of my nightmare.” A massive weight pulled at Twilight’s neck as she looked down to the ground. “You don’t know what it is like to have something you see everyday remind you of your past wrongdoings... What it is like to be reminded of an evil that resonates within you...”

There is a pause in the conversation. Perhaps now I can give my two cents. “You are right. I don’t know what it is like to have a negative past haunt me. But…” I hesitate by going too deep into my own personal problems. I don’t think Twilight would appreciate me telling her that every time I see her, I am filled with some amount of pain because I’m reminded of other Twilight. However, she was down to earth and personal with me. Perhaps I can tell her my nightmares and daily struggles.

“I can relate to you however.” My heart speaks on its own. Maybe now is the time to uproot my problem by talking to the actual root.

“What do you mean?” Twilight’s sadness was quickly replaced with curiosity.

“Hey Twilight! Hey Flash!” A cheery voice interrupted our talk and we both looked up to see Pinkie Pie gazing down at us. “Why the long faces?” Most people would have been bothered by being rudely interrupted by someone. But Pinkie Pie has some type of aura that makes me smile for some reason.

“Oh, just talking about things.” Twilight answered for us both and quickly gathered herself, taking a stand. I do the same. “Sad things- but we are fine now! Hehe.”

“Yeah,” is all I could do to reply. “We wouldn’t want to upset you with our… sad conversation… that is no longer sad now that you are here.”

Pinkie Pie smiled at my compliment, but didn’t shake off the idea that everything was all fine and dandy. “I still think something may be bothering you too,” she spoke suspiciously. “But lucky for you two I have made frownies! Just in case somebody needs one or two.” Reaching into her backpack, Pinkie Pie held a large plastic bag filled with brownies and dangled them before us. “But if you want one,” she sang, “you have to tell me what is wrong. That is the rule of frownies.” Pinkie Pie held up one finger as she spoke this rule. Twilight and I glanced at each other with a strange smile but amused by the fluffy-haired girl.

“So… who want’s some frownies?” Somehow I wasn’t so sure talking about my nightmares with a bystander nearby. I’d rather it be alone with Twilight.

“I’ll have some another time,” I speak up. “I would like to talk to Twilight alone about… our personal matters.” Twilight nodded, still looking interested as to why my troubles relate to her own.

“Alright,” Pinkie Pie sang again, tossing the sweet treat into her bag. “I will be nearby if you want one. But your troubles better not be related to Twilight and you wanting to ask her out.” Pinkie Pie looked at me suspiciously with a smirk, as if to mock me. She did not just say that.

“Pinkie!” Twilight flushed with a glare. “We weren’t talking about that! Remember, we were talking about sad things.”

“But your ‘sad things’ can be related to how Flash Sentry here can likes other Twilight and Sunset Shimmer always tells me that he always asks about other Twilight and she has a hunch that he really really likes her and even though you are this world’s Twilight Sparkle, he can’t like you because you are already in a relationship with-”

I had heard enough. “Hey! Stop while you are ahead Pinkie Pie!” My head lurched forward to the pink rambler and I could feel my fists quiver with frustration as I leer at her. I was probably red in the face in both anger and embarrassment. Suddenly, I realize everyone who heard me was staring with stabbing eyes. Both Twilight and Pinkie Pie looked at me with shock, as if they couldn’t believe that I shouted.

To my horror, I could feel my eyes begin to water. I needed to leave. Quickly. Without another word I walk to the school doors. I heard a voice call for me. It was probably Twilight. But I didn’t care. I needed to hide my face. The doors easily move as I force my way in. I could still feel others looking at my back, wondering what had just happened. Thankfully, there was a crowd of students I can lose myself in. And if nobody cares to follow me, my locker- no! The bathroom! That is a safe place to be.

Weaving through the body of classmates, I manage to get into the nearest bathroom. I nearly slip on the tile floors as I briskly walk through the smelly room. I grab the handle of the nearest stall and I quickly pull. The entire stall shakes and does not grant me access. It’s locked.

“Hey man,” a voice from behind the door. “If ya gotta go, go in the stall next to me man.”

I didn't skip a beat. I moved over to the next stall and the door swung open as I pulled it open. Vacant, my feet pull me inside. I lock the stall before I sit on the toilet seat. Thankfully my pants are not greeted with any liquid residue that may be resting on the surface of my hiding place.

Safe from wandering eyes I let out what I can't hold in. I never knew I could cry in frustration as well as being sad in unison. And with my frustration getting the better of me, my fist swings hard at the stall wall and makes a terrible thud. The stall door rattles as the lock attempts to keep it closed. It does its job well.

“Hey man,” the voice in the other stall speaks again, “havin’ a rough one in there?”

Might as well not leave him hanging. “Yeah,” I choke, straining my emotions so it does not sound like I am crying.

Pinkie Pie, you had to bring that up!

To think she would mention me asking her out! It was an insult. Not to say this Twilight was bad or unattractive. If I could, I might. At the moment, however, Twilight is taken. She now dates that summer camp proctor guy. What was his name..? Why do I care?!

Pinkie Pie and her other friends know I am fond of other Twilight. And she practically mocked me by telling me not to ask Twilight, this world’s Twilight, out. It's as if she is saying other Twilight is out of my reach.

RIIIIIIIIING!

The school bell chimes loudly, indicating school has begun. However, I have not finished my sobbing. Guess I am going to be late for class today...