Sunset is collasping under the stress, she can't handle the chaos that Anon-a-miss had brought upon her, so she tries to end it all, but happened instead will change her forever, for the better or worst..
While the leader of the Expel Sunset Campaign was 'Anonymous', the strikes the put on outside the school had been shown on the local news, affectively destroying all chance of Sunset having a nice life or career, making it so that no matter where she goes, the shame of a crime she didn't do followed her.
Affectively: caused by, or expressing emotion or feeling; emotional.
Effectively: in a way that produces a desired result.
"What happened to us?" Pinkie sniffed, tears still streaming. "How did we swoop so low that we'd applaud these attacks instead of condoning them?"
To condone means to allow, so Pinkie's basically asking how they could've stooped so low that they'd applaud the attacks instead of allowing them, which doesn't make sense.
Also, Pinkie has chloroform in her hair, and no one's gonna question it? That's kinda creepy. Like, what's she doing with chloroform?
As for the chapter overall, I wasn't too impressed. The emotions were too rushed to actually feel, the confessions didn't really get me because it's something we should've been shown rather than told about, the conflict was resolved by Pinkie ex machina, and Sergeant Badge really needs to stop putting her hands on other people's mouths.
I also suggest using a term other than "Humane Six". It's just such a meta term that it hurts immersion.
7947840 you're so damn right, those humane 5 are traitors to everything friendship and harmony stands for! they don't deserve a second chance because they thought Sunset was abusing that chance so she can be the demon that they all love to hate! if anything Sunset should go back to her world because the pony world value life more than the humans, who were never nor will they ever be, like the ponies!
"Well, Ms. Badge, a dew days ago, a cyber bully named Anon-a-miss had revealed herself, or rather themselves." Rarity said, tears starting to emerge in her eyes as she remembered the screaming Sweetie had thrown at her by her parents. "and the reason that is important is because they had initially framed Sunset here for all of it."
The word above should be "few."
Well, just read through all of this and it has an intriguing premise I am willing to see out. Some things like how literally everyone are doing illegal things to Sunset thinking she is Anon-a-miss without anyone coming in to stop it, as the police or someone should have heard about all of that if they heard about Anon-a-miss seems a bit far-fetched, but if lessened it would make a very believable way for Sunset to become a she-demon once more and the CMC minus Sweetie seemed a little too blatantly cartoony evil at the start, but the idea of them trying to ruin Sunset's life is intriguing, if a little OOC. It also seems like the cops were a little too accepting of Sunset being a demon, but not too distracting. Writing could use a bit of polishing up, but otherwise, not bad. Definitely kept me reading on through to the current point.
Poor Sunset, she's really had it hard in this AU. I hope she somehow manages to overcome the demon inside her and somehow manages to get a fresh start. Twilight might have to help her find a way to be welcomed back in Equestria, as after her demon came out it may be hard for her to stay in the human world, even if she somehow gets off due to insanity clause and that she had been driven there via framed for a crime she didn't commit. And dang, after how everyone has treated her, doing so many illegal things, it seems like the school could actually be shut down.
8016041 I'm working on it, but personal issues have come up and I don't feel like talking about them, just know that the chapter is coming and that I have not given up on the story.
is anyone going to mention the fact the pinkie carries around colraform. i mean she even did the sh shshshhshs go to sleep thing like she did it before. why does she need that and where did she get that.
I am thinking next chapter Twilight would want to avenged Poor old Sunset.
Affectively: caused by, or expressing emotion or feeling; emotional.
Effectively: in a way that produces a desired result.
PS: Can hardly wait for the next chapter....
cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1340085129635_3237407.png
7908696 Sorry, I try to catch those, but every now and then one slips by.
Maybe it's a bit early in the story for this, but meh
I can't wait to see how Big Mac reacts, he'll be destroyed by what he done, if Sunset doesn't break free to go after him and the others again.
To condone means to allow, so Pinkie's basically asking how they could've stooped so low that they'd applaud the attacks instead of allowing them, which doesn't make sense.
Also, Pinkie has chloroform in her hair, and no one's gonna question it? That's kinda creepy. Like, what's she doing with chloroform?
As for the chapter overall, I wasn't too impressed. The emotions were too rushed to actually feel, the confessions didn't really get me because it's something we should've been shown rather than told about, the conflict was resolved by Pinkie ex machina, and Sergeant Badge really needs to stop putting her hands on other people's mouths.
I also suggest using a term other than "Humane Six". It's just such a meta term that it hurts immersion.
too late shes dead and the demon has possed her body
also Chloroform!? are we just going to glaze over that!? XD
7910696 Shh.
7910696 It seemed more like she went demon because she went berserk. Like a demonic hulk kinda thing
7912402
but she did kill herself so its the only thing that makes sense on why shes still walking lol.
7911003
also small thing on my end.
the things the girls said and done to her. it might be better to actually show it instead of telling us lol
7913325 Or she's become a wraith from a combantion of her grief and rage post mortem
"...but real and realistic tears..."
That was creepypasta levels of painful.
Eh, this started out okay, but I feel like this story kinda lost its head.
The dialogue needs work, repetition and the way some of the characters talk just doesnt fit in.
Treat a girl like a monster and she'll be a monster. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.
Please make the next chapter. I can't wait.
7947840 you're so damn right, those humane 5 are traitors to everything friendship and harmony stands for! they don't deserve a second chance because they thought Sunset was abusing that chance so she can be the demon that they all love to hate! if anything Sunset should go back to her world because the pony world value life more than the humans, who were never nor will they ever be, like the ponies!
The word above should be "few."
Well, just read through all of this and it has an intriguing premise I am willing to see out. Some things like how literally everyone are doing illegal things to Sunset thinking she is Anon-a-miss without anyone coming in to stop it, as the police or someone should have heard about all of that if they heard about Anon-a-miss seems a bit far-fetched, but if lessened it would make a very believable way for Sunset to become a she-demon once more and the CMC minus Sweetie seemed a little too blatantly cartoony evil at the start, but the idea of them trying to ruin Sunset's life is intriguing, if a little OOC. It also seems like the cops were a little too accepting of Sunset being a demon, but not too distracting. Writing could use a bit of polishing up, but otherwise, not bad. Definitely kept me reading on through to the current point.
Poor Sunset, she's really had it hard in this AU. I hope she somehow manages to overcome the demon inside her and somehow manages to get a fresh start. Twilight might have to help her find a way to be welcomed back in Equestria, as after her demon came out it may be hard for her to stay in the human world, even if she somehow gets off due to insanity clause and that she had been driven there via framed for a crime she didn't commit. And dang, after how everyone has treated her, doing so many illegal things, it seems like the school could actually be shut down.
Hope the next chapter is posted soon.
7971377 Don't you know, this fanfic is sponsored by Mountain Dew.
7971826 LOL
when's the next chapter?!
also i hope Sunset decides to go back to Pony Equestria.
poor sunset I really hate apple bloom for all of this can't wait for the next chapter.
7989492 don't forget Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo
hey when's next chapter?!
8016041 I'm working on it, but personal issues have come up and I don't feel like talking about them, just know that the chapter is coming and that I have not given up on the story.
8016116 ...
...
...
oh okay.
is anyone going to mention the fact the pinkie carries around colraform. i mean she even did the sh shshshhshs go to sleep thing like she did it before. why does she need that and where did she get that.
8385117
I did not think anyone of the this fan base would need to be explained this, but here we go: Pinkie is being Pinkie.
8385168
ahhhh, these people who don't take chloroforme when they go out... it sadden me =(
humane6
what a quality writing!