Chapter 3: The gangs all here
Some time earlier…
As the sun rose over her cottage, Fluttershy was out feeding the animals that she would take care of on a usual basis, making sure that they weren’t hungry or complaining for food later in the day. Today, Discord was visiting the Princesses for Tea, so she was with Angel Bunny and the others this morning… and not expecting Pinkie Pie to burst through the door.
“Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy!” She said, bouncing up and down at rapid speed and trying to catch the Pegasus’ attention… Even if she was already aware of her presence in the room. “Guess what?”
“Uhh… H-hi Pinkie…” Fluttershy stuttered, trying to process what was happening. “W-what’s going on?”
“Twitchy tail!! Something’s gonna fall!!!” She said before zipping under the couch. For a moment, Fluttershy quickly hid under the dining room table… expecting for something to actually fall. Because any time that Pinkie Pie’s tail twitched, something actually did fall. For a few moments, nothing fell… causing the mare to think it was a false alarm.
That was, until she heard a loud THUD!! echo from outside, causing a flock of birds from the everfree forest to fly away. Which means that whatever fell… was in the Everfree Forest. This in turn caused the pegasus to worry. If something, like a tree, did fall, there was the possibility that an injured animal was out there. “Pinkie Pie, you can come out now… C-can you come with me into the Everfree Forest… i-if that’s okay with you, of course. You don’t have too if you’re busy-.”
“Sure I’ll come!! We might get the chance to meet some new friends!!” Pinkie said, causing her to zip out of the room. However, that was when Fluttershy remembered something. Back at Applejack’s farm, it was when Zap Apple season… but that meant only thing.
“Pinkie, wait-!” Just as she stepped outside, a loud BANG could be heard along with the howling of several Timberwolves. This made Fluttershy even more worried. She was really concerned that her friend was possibly in trouble. But that was followed by the same sound being repeated over and over again… along with what sounded like somepony… shouting.
“VÁMONOS, PUTAS!” Whatever it was sounded like it was something that a pony from Mexicolt would say as she continued to try and look for her friend through all the noise and the sounds of destruction. She galloped quickly… only to realize that one timberwolf… was right behind her. When she turned and cowered in fright, thinking the beast would hurt her… she soon heard the beast whimper before it fell to the ground… and somepony standing in front of her. For a moment, she thought it was Pinkie Pie… but what she heard was nothing like it.
“Are you injured?” She looked up, only to see what looked like a stallion in a full on body suit from head to toe… and a red question mark over it’s face. She shook her head, even though Fluttershy was still scared. She did not know this pony… or why it saved her. But she gathered enough courage in herself to ask him a question.
“W-who are you?” This though, caused the question mark over it’s face to change, now taking form in that of a number. The number zero. This confused her more than answered her question though as she tilted her head in confusion.
Hearing the synthetic voice once more… answered her question. “My name is Zer0/ Are you alright, young lady?/ Are you injured?”
“N-no… I-i’m fine.” She stuttered, before looking around. “Uhh… have you seen my friend, she’s-.”
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie!! What’s your name, you big brawny stallion that just kicked some major flank? Can I call you Sal-” She heard nearby, followed by hearing the voice that once shouted earlier replying.
“Por favor, senorita! Call me Salvador!!” She heard, before seeing both her friend… and a big stallion with something holstered over his shoulders and a lot of facial hair as she got up.
“Fluttershy, I found a new friend!!” Pinkie said, waving before looking at her and Zer0. “Ooooh!! Another one! Can you do something special?” She asked, before Zer0’s face changed to that of a smiley face. “EEEEEEE!!! Fluttershy, his face is an emoji!! Come on, we need to go show them to Twilight!!”
“B-but we just met them. Shouldn’t we-?” Before Fluttershy could even ask, the pink pony and the stallion that was with her ran off, leaving her and Zer0 behind.
“Would that be your friend?/ She is quite energetic/ Better follow her.” He spoke in Haiku as the stallion helped her out of the Everfree.
Thankfully, she did not even notice the massive pile of timberwolf bodies that were the aftermath of the Gunzerker’s carnage.
“So… you found these two in the Everfree Forest?” Twilight asked, trying to understand her friends. “Axton, Gaige, how do you know these two?”
“These two here are fellow Vault Hunters, we first met on a train that was going to take us to a person who would help us find a vault, but that turned out to be a trap-.”
“BOOOOOORING!!! JUST GET TO THE MAIN POINT ALREADY!!!” The group heard Mr. Torgue shout from Gaige’s ECHO device, which she set on the big map like table in the center of the castle.
Axton eyes start twitching at the interruption. “I WAS GETTING TO THAT TORGUE, OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL THEM?!” Axton then takes a few calming breaths before continuing. “Sorry about that, have a bit of stress right now. Anyway, trap went off and we kick the ass of any robot that was on board before the train blew up.”
“Woah… remind me not to piss you off.” Gaige said on the side as she looked back at Twilight. “Zer0 is… well, to put it lightly an assassin that’s on our side. There’s not that much that we know about him. Other than that, Salvador is a gunzerker-.”
“What’s a gun?” That caused the Vault hunters along with Twilight and her friends to look at Sweetie Belle, Spike and the other members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “What? It was just a question.”
“HOLY SKAGSUCK!! THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT A GUN IS? WELL, IT’S TIME WE TEACH THEM A THING OR TWO ABOUT BEING A BADASS!! ORIGINALLY THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS HAD AN IDEA FOR A ECHO.NET SERIES ON THAT, BUT I THOUGHT OTHERWISE BECAUSE A, THERE WAS A LACK OF EXPLOSIONS AND B, THEY TRY TO HAVE ME BE “PROFESSOR TORGUE”. NO ONE MESSES UP MY FIRST NAME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!!” Mr. Torgue’s outrageous yelling only caused Starlight to raise an eyebrow.
“Wait… are you saying that your actual first name is… Mr. Torgue?”
“EXACTLY!!!” Torgue shouted. “NEVERMIND THAT!! VAULT HUNTERS, GIVE THEM THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT A F**KING GUN IS AND THEN AFTERWARDS, GIVE THEM A PROPER DEMONSTRATION!!! BLOW UP SOME APPLES OR SOMETHING, I DON’T CARE!!!”
Applejack’s ears twitched at the last part as she grit her teeth a bit. “We are NOT blowing up any of the apples on my orchard!!” She snarled a little, causing Gaige to act a bit surprised.
“Easy Applejack… It doesn’t exactly have to be apples… Twilight, would you happen to have something that could work for Target Practice? Like a wooden dummy or something?” Gaige asked her, trying to not comment on how Applejack’s anger reminded her of Maya. Before she could speak though, Twilight was interrupted by Spike as he looked at the group.
“I think Applebloom and the Cutie Mark Crusaders have one from the time they tried getting a Cutie Mark in martial arts. If we can bring that outside of town, then maybe-.”
“Hang on… What the hell is a cutie mark?” The Mechromancer then asked, confused by what the dragon was saying.
“You don’t know what a cutie mark is?” Twilight asked, tilting her head. “That’s sort of surprising because you have one already… But still, let me explain. All ponies have something called a cutie mark, which is a symbol on their flank that shows them what their special talent is. Mine resolves around magic… However, I can’t seem to get a grasp on yours-.”
“TRAMP STAMPS!!! OH, SORRY! I HAVE A HABIT OF THINKING OUT LOUD UNINTENTIONALLY!!! PLEASE CONTINUE!!!” Torgue shouted.
“It’s fine, Sugarcube.” Applejack said, which almost caused Gaige to snicker once she heard that. “Okay, seriously, what’s wrong with Sugarcube?”
“It’s a looooong story.” Gaige sighed. “Sorry Twilight, you were saying something?”
“Yeah uh… What does your Cutie Mark stand for?” She asked, pointing out the symbol on her flank. All that caused her to do was smirk a little to herself… and for Axton to sound a bit concerned.
“I don’t know if I should be concerned, or not surprised at all? Speaking of which…” Axton then decides to look at his Cutie Mark for the hell of it. He grins widely at what it was. When he looked at it The background of it was the skull from his patch, which has a crack down the middle in a lightning bolt shape, and has a turret shooting out rockets in the foreground of his Cutie Mark. Turning to look at the others, he saw that Salvador’s was a pair of crossed guns and Zer0’s was simply… well 0.
“Maybe we can get that wooden dummy and head outside. I have a feeling that your talents will be demonstrated once we set up that practice range-.” Spike was going to continue, until he heard the strangest… and weirdest outcry ever from outside.
“THANK YOU FOR RIDING THE PSYCHO EXPRESS, TOOT-TOOT!!! ALL ABOARD, I’LL BE COLLECTING YOUR TICKETS AND WE HAVE BEVERAGES IN THE DINING CAR!!! FOR I AM THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!!!”
All the ponies… and Spike… looked at each other and looked like they were severely frightened. “W-what… the hay… was that?”
“That… must be Krieg…” Gaige said before realizing something. “Oh right… We didn’t mention that one of our guys was a reformed Psycho, did we?”
“Nope, we didn’t say a thing about Kreig at all, nor Maya either I believe.” Axton said, looking at the other two vault hunters as they shook their heads.
“Yeah, something tells me that we're going to have to in a minute-.”
“Twilight! Help!!” They all heard another voice run in as the two vault hunters heard their other comrades outside.
“Krieg, knock it off!”
“HONEY, I’M HOME!!!”
“And the gangs now all here… Great…” Gaige groaned, tempted to facepalm herself in the process because of all the crazy shenanigans that were happening right now. “Glad to see you are okay, Maya.”
“Same to you… You know, even with the crazy sh*t that happens on Pandora… along with me being a Siren… It’s still going to take a bit to adjust to this place.” Once she heard siren though, Twilight was concerned and alarms were going off in her head.
“A Siren? Like the Dazzlings?”
“Who?” The Siren asked. Tilting her head. “I don’t know them, but whoever they are, they got nothing on me.”
“Yeah… where we’re from… Sirens are rare and… different. I’ll just leave Maya to explain this.” Gaige told them as she went to take a seat next to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
“Thank you… Now, let me explain something. Back in our world, magic is… non-existent. But there are a few rare people in the world, primarily women, that are Sirens. Only six of them can be born at any given time and you can tell that one of them is a siren because of the tattoos on their left arm… or as Rarity told me earlier… left foreleg.”
“Oh… Well, that’s a lot to take in…” Twilight said on the side. Meanwhile for Axton though, a certain unicorn seemed to have noticed the commando by himself and proceeded to trot right next to him.
“Why hello there… I couldn’t help but notice you were a bit lonely, darling… mind if I join you?”
“Uhh sure?” Axton said, not exactly aware of what the mare was doing as he just looked at her cluelessly. While this was happening, Applejack soon asked an important question.
“Hey, uh… not to sound rude or invasive, but how old are you guys? I mean, Gaige looks rather… young to be wielding a weapon and blowing stuff up-.”
“WHAT!!? YOU THINK THAT SHE CAN’T BLOW STUFF UP BECAUSE SHE’S ONLY FIFTEEN!!! DISCRIMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!” They all heard Torgue yell over Gaige’s ECHO device as they looked around the room.
“Wait, you’re only fifteen!?” Starlight asked, shocked. “Twilight’s only two years older than you and you’re… well…”
“Well, at least that’s better than what the Cutie Mark Crusaders originally said. They thought I was a lot older for my age because of my arm.” Gaige sighed. Taking the chance to switch the conversation around, Starlight then turned to face one of the other vault hunters.
“O… kay. How old are you Axton?” She asked, but before the Commando could say anything, Gaige beat him to it.
“Old enough to have an ex-wife.”
Axton just deadpanned at Gaige. “Wow, just real nice there Gaige… To answer Starlight’s question though, I’m Twenty Six actually.” When he spoke, that was when the others noticed the ring that was next to the dog tag that was hanging around his neck. Starlight nodded her head, asking the same thing to the other vault hunters. Even though Zer0 declined to answer and Krieg something random in Psycho speak, she was able to find out the age of both Salvador and Maya.
“Thirty Six.” Salvador replied first, shortly followed by Maya “Twenty five.”
“Anyways, maybe we should proceed to that weapons demonstra-.” Twilight spoke up, shortly before she heard Spike burp as a scroll formed in his claws.
“Twilight, Letter!!”
“Uh… What was that?” Maya asked.
“It’s a type of magic that I use to stay in touch with Princess Celestia. She’s the one who’s been keeping Equestria safe for over 1000 years.”
“And some ponies thought I was old…” Gaige groaned as she got up from her seat on the floor.
“So… what does the letter say?” Axton asked Twilight, who was scanning over the letter as quickly as she could.
“She… needs our help… there’s been a disturbance in Canterlot recently regarding a… moving trashcan that talks… and there is some child inside the castle that has a… strange choice of dialect as well…” Twilight said, reading it. “I’m not sure what this is about, but if this happened due to you guys showing up… then you might want to come with us.”
“BUT WE JUST GOT HERE!!!” Krieg shouted, causing some of the others to tense up… Axton though, had something to say shortly afterwards.
“I swear to god… if that F*CKING ROBOT DID SOMETHING I WILL PERSONALLY SEND HIM THROUGH A F*CKING SHREDDER AND WATCH AS THE SHREDDERS TEETH TEAR IT APART!!” Axton then breathes a little heavily and soon calms down… and then it dawns on him about the child part. He then looks at Gaige in horror. “Gaige… I believe I think we know who that child is-.”
Maya then realized it as well. “Don’t tell me… are you thinking it’s Tiny Tina?”
“Who?” Almost all of the ponies nearly asked in unison.
“Let’s just say it’s what happens when a thirteen year old girl with a twisted imagination is given high amounts of caffeine and sticks of dynamite.” That had Twilight’s eyes widen a bit before she looked at everyone.
“We better hurry…”
Five minutes earlier…
Out of all the things that were likely to be expected in meeting with Discord for tea, the most surprising thing of them all was when Celestia heard a soft explosion from her room, causing her, Luna and Discord to stop what they were doing and investigate. However, just as they were outside their room, then heard a rather… young… and odd voice echo from inside.
“Why yes, Sir Reginald, this is a rather lovely party you decided to throw today… and we are honored to have Princess Fluffybutt be our guest of honor this afternoon!” That caused Celestia to glare at Discord immediately.
“What… did… you do?”
“Don’t look at me, Cae Cae. I don’t know who exactly is in there either-.”
“Oh DAMN ladies, I never knew that there were so many damsels in here. Especially since I do miss Mushy Snugglebites and Felicia Sexopants…” They heard the voice say again before hearing it sing a song. “I’m a little teapot, bloody and cut… Here is my handle, here is my butt.”
“... And whoever is in there must have a different form of twisted imagination…” Discord replied, causing both princesses to sigh. “Still though, whoever is in there seems… young. Like a teenaged filly.” As he spoke, Discord had a set of straws in one of his paws as he looked at them. “So are we going to draw straws to see who goes in there or-?”
“I’ll take care of it,” Celestia replied, using her magic to open the door and walk on in. All around the room were her old dolls from when she was only just a young filly. Centered around the room as the alicorn was looking at a young… alicorn filly that was in the room. She turned towards the princess and pouted a little.
“Well that was rather rude… trotting in here without an invitation really looks bad upon your character, lady.” The filly told her, turning around. It was then that Celestia could see the mask on the side of her face as the filly was looking around and then straightened up. “Who are you to intrude upon this royal gala, shawty?”
“I am Princess Celestia-.” For a moment, the filly’s eyes widened, shortly before turning to look at the back end of the alicorn.
“Well, I must say… for a Princess, you got the best badonkadonk I’ve ever seen!!”
A blush on Celestia’s face soon began to form as she looked back at the filly. How she knew this kind of language was beyond her, but whatever she said was causing Discord outside the room to be rolling around on the floor in a fit of laughter. Before she could even ask for the child’s name, the princess soon realized that the youngling… was touching her flank.
“Yep! BEST ONE EVA!!! Now then… this tea party is missing something… OOH! I know, crumpets!! I’m gonna eat so many god damn crumpets that it’ll be a crumpocalypse!” She turned, looking back at one of the dolls in the room… that almost looked like Discord with a Top Hat as she shot an evil glance at her. “Sir Reginald! How dare you call her a piece of hot ass! That is rather rude! You are banished from this party! BANISHED!!” In that moment was when the horn on the filly lit up as it threw the doll over the balcony and into the courtyard below… which soon exploded several seconds later. “Well… I guess we now have one spot open for our party… Would you care to join us, Princess?”
Celestia gulped, swallowing down any nervousness she had as she used her magic to close the door. “Suuuuuure.” In her mind though, she was saying something else. “Luna, write a letter to Twilight RIGHT NOW!!!”
Canterlot Train Station
“Holy crap, does this place remind me of Sanctuary or what!?” Gaige said as soon as her, the rest of the vault hunters and Twilight and her friends soon teleported just outside of Canterlot Station.
“Minus that Sanctuary is a floating city, I don’t think you are wrong. I mean this place looks pretty big though.” Axton said as he looked at the whole city before him.
“Well, from the looks of it, this place is on a mountainside, so it is hanging…” Maya replied. “So, any idea what we should do now?”
“Look through the city/Claptrap is bound to show up/Sooner or later.” Zer0 spoke in Haiku again as he decided to look around while Fluttershy followed him. Salvador took another direction with Pinkie Pie and Rarity and Applejack went with Maya and Krieg. Leaving Starlight, Twilight and Spike with Gaige and Axton.
“So who exactly are we looking for anyway… You mentioned this Tiny Tina, but never said who the other guy was.” Spike mentioned, causing Gaige and Axton to look at each other for a moment.
“That… is a bit difficult…” Gaige sighed, looking at Axton. “Would you like me to explain or should I let you do the talking?”
Axton sighed as he recounted all about Claptrap. “Claptrap is a robot and he is an interesting one at that. He helped us out in Southern Shelf when we first arrived on Pandora. You would be able to tell where he is at any point because he has a very annoying voice. He means well sometimes, but he ruins a lot of moments. But there is one thing to note about him, he is the last of the Claptrap units on Pandora, I even think the last one period.”
“Wow… that sounds sad.” Spike replied, looking around. “Wait… what’s that?”
“MINIONS!!!!” They heard the metallic voice cheer out. “You came to save me from this technicolor hellhole!!! Claptrap, your metaphorical rescue ship has flown in!!!”
Axton didn’t even need to look to where the voice came from before his hoof met his face… hard. “Oh god no.”
“Who was that-?” Spike asked, before seeing the robot appear out of nowhere. “GAH!!”
“Haha!! Looks like I still have the element of surprise… Minions, what did they do to you? Did they transform you into one of them as a form of mental torture? OH THE HUMANITY!!! Well, at least I, your wise leader, will help you not get brainwashed by these technicolor jerkwads… including the one with the rainbow mane that can somehow fly.” The robot said out loud… just as Twilight looked back at Axton.
“Is this normal?”
“Unfortunately, yes it is.” Axton simply said as he lowers his hoof and looks at Claptrap. “Claptrap we aren’t brainwashed, we don’t even know why we look like this in the first place.”
“A likely story!! It must have to do with that one filly that keeps throwing dolls off of the balcony and making them explode… Oddly enough, she sounds like Tiny Tina.” The robot said. “Now, if you don’t mind me, I’m going to go find a place to hide so I won’t get thrashed to death by the rainbow maned monster!” With that, Claptrap hurried out of the area as Axton and Gaige looked back at Starlight, Twilight and Spike.
“Rainbow maned monster…?”
“That must be Rainbow Dash… she’s a pegasus who is very loyal… and has a lot of ego.” Starlight commented.
“Oh so like a female Axton?” Gaige asked.
Axton then smacked Gaige upside the head with his hoof. “I know what you are trying to say, and I do not have that much ego.”
“Didn’t you once originally say that glory in the military was why you got on Pandora in the first place?” Gaige soon questioned as the five of them soon came across the entrance to Celestia’s chambers after going through the door of the castle. That was when she sniffed the air… and smelled something familiar. “Hey, is it just me… or am I smelling fresh crumpets?”
Axton then sniffed the air as well. “You’re right about that, and that can only mean one thing.” That was when they heard one last thing that confirmed their suspicions.
“You are CORDIALLY INVITED, BITCH!!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.021 seconds
Total duration
598 users online
1,032,389 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Fuck sake all the good characters are here. Only people we are missing are the original Vault hunters. That would be interesting to see there reactions to being ponies. And when Lilith see's roland alive and also a pony. Oh and i almost fucking Forgot Brick. YES!!!!
I cannot wait to see how the mane 6 react when the Vault Hunters start fighting.
7579088
Mad Moxie has yet to show up.
Tiny Tina is here... Let the Chaos begin!
OMG, it´s the first fanfic of borderlands 2 and mlp
fuck**g awesome, i really got greats laughs, hahaah stupid claptrap
and tina was really funny but nothing in comparation to mr torgue and his legendary guitar solos
i wanna read more chapters pliiizzzzz i really like it
and i wanna see a lot of shots, deaths, explosions, explosions and explosions yeahhhhh
see~yaa
7579353 there's been plenty other bl2 crossovers
Dis gonna be good
7579227
Yep....we hosed.
The only problem so far is that it’s hard trying to figure out what each of the vault hunters are. Gaige is a unicorn and Tina’s an alicorn, but that’s it. Some more description of what each of the VH’s are would help.
Oh God I was right, this is terrifying..... ly awesome!! Tina as an alicorn, and the first pony she meets is Sunbutt herself, then she fuckin complements her ass lmao OK, it's official, i love this story, hands down.
7579088
Imagine Brick and Bulk Biceps meeting lmao That just screams hilarious to me