> Borderlands 2 DLC: Vault of the Consular
>  by NightStream
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1:Strange Surprises
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back for another story now, aren’t you? Well, I guess I have the time to spare… so sit down, shut up and listen. You may remember one of the stories that I have involving a group of vault hunters… and the journey they had to undertake in defeating the man known as Handsome Jack. Well in the months that passed, many things began to transpire for those six vault hunters. They searched for the Lost Treasure of the Sands, survived a Campaign of Carnage, went on a hunt for big game, and dove head first into a fantasy world as they lead an assault on dragon keep to take a break from the world around them. Aside from that though, some of the things that have taken place in the eight months since Handsome Jack’s downfall have been… interesting to say the least.

However, today’s story is rather… different. Sure, it still has the same Vault Hunters that you are familiar with; The Gunzerker, the Commando, the Siren, the Assassin, the Mechromancer and the Psycho. But what’s in store for them is anything but ordinary. Today’s story is about the Vault Hunters… and their journey through another world to uncover the secrets of one of the most rarest and ancient vaults yet… the Vault of the Consular.



“Vault Hunter, I need your help with something. Got a second?” The simple question that was posed over the echo communicator that was on the waist of the vault hunter named Gaige was muffled out by the sounds of bullets whizzing by her head, gunfire and the sounds of turrets causing even more of a ruckus. Originally, the commando named Axton and the mechromancer named Gaige had taken up a job to find a bandit leader that had been causing a bit of problems out in the dust. However, what they did not expect was several things.

One, this leader was a midget on the back on a goliath like a backpack. Two, that goliath was easily able to hold a pair of rocket launchers that could obliterate almost anything if aimed right. Three, they had to get passed all the psychotic clan members in order to reach him. “Okay, we’ve been through a LOT of crap, but how the hell are we supposed to get ourselves out of this?” Gaige’s question was an honest one. Normally, if Salvador were here, he would shoot the crap out of everything in a bullet fueled rampage. Either that or Krieg would go into a rampage with Buzz Axe in hand to knock some heads.

This time though, it was just the two of them. “Remind me to kill Claptrap for this job if we make it out of this alive.”

“Noted, now I have almost had enough of this. Want me to just pull out the Norfleet and end it?” 

“We could, but if that Goliath’s helmet comes off, he’ll be going for us next since it doesn’t have any of his psycho friends to murder instead.” She pointed out.

“Hmm…” Axton then crouches behind cover as he rubs his chin. “He will be slagged thanks to the effect of the Norfleet, and it launches out three rockets at once, but you do make a good point about the helmet issue.” He then snaps his fingers  “How about after I launch the rockets we focus fire on the Goliath?” 

“Possibly. But remember, the Slag from the shot would make them vulnerable to non-slag damage.” Gaige replied as she switched her weapon to her pistol, Unkempt Harold. “Mr. Torgue has a strange way of delivering Mercenary Day gifts, but I think this is one to be thankful for. I can use my pistol to mow down anyone still standing. That way I wouldn’t need to use Deathtrap. Thankfully, I have a shield that can help.”

“Well on your mark or mine?” Axton replies as he readies out the Norfleet, a powerful and legendary grade rocket launcher.

“Yours… Remember, my part is after you fire. Even with The Bee shield I have, the Slag can make my guns rounds hurt a LOT more than normal.” She insisted. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Axton then donned a big grin on his face as he looked back at the massive crowd of Psycho’s and maruderers that were looking for the two Vault Hunters. “Time for a fireworks show!” He then gets out of cover and takes aim at roughly where the center of the group is and fires away. The single shot immediately split into three and was covered in a dark purple glow as it hit it’s target and covered Slag on every one of the savages in a wide radius. Running to the left, Gaige took out her Pistol and began to open fire. The Unkempt Harold would normally have one shot split off into three and so on to cover enemies with explosive bullets in a wide radius, this one was different since it was able to fire two shots at once, allowing for her to cover twice as many enemies in a short amount of time and wind the health down of all of those she caught by surprise. 

Though it did a number on all the foes they were facing. They still had a job to do… and a bandit leading midget to kill that was riding piggyback on a goliath. The Mechromancer turned around, dodging an incoming rocket as she prepped a grenade to throw at the hulking mass of destruction. “Axton, back up! Throwing a grenade!” The Commando backed off from getting any closer as she threw it. It directly impacted the target… and then caused a few fireballs to rain death from above and torch their opponent to cinders.

“Well… that takes care of that…” She sighed, looking back at Axton. “Did these guys drop anything good or is it all a bunch of crap?”

Axton looks over all of the loot that was dropped by the bandits. It was a mix of money, ammo and some weapons that was worse than their current equipment. “All crap. But hey, free money if you want to sell them.” He shrugs as he says that. 

“Good point. Besides, things haven’t exactly been so exciting now that we killed that Handsome Jackass.” Gaige sighed before noticing something on her Echo device. “Hey Axton? We missed a call from Lilith. I think she needs help with something once we’re done with Claptrap.”

“Huh, I wonder what exactly it is. Well I hope it isn’t anything as bad as what we do for Claptrap.” The Commando replied as Gaige looked at the message that was sent.

“Well, for one thing, she contacted Maya and the others about it. Another is that she said that there’s someone shady at Moxxi’s that’s trying to talk up a storm with Hammerlock. Most of it looks to be trash but-.” That was when she came across something in the text that caught her attention. “Holy crap…”

“Oh, What’s up?” 

“Well… It seems like whoever this shady figure is… knows something about a vault.” Gaige said, reading off of her Echo device before putting it away. “There isn’t much on it, but I think if we spark up a chat with whoever this guy is, he’s bound to share more… Perhaps that’s why Lilith called all of us to check it out if it involves another vault.”

“Hmm… While normally, I would call bullsh*t, but if we are all needed this has to be something big. Let’s just hope the guy is in a talking mood.” Axton then pulled out his shotgun, The Swordsplosion, and cocked it “Because I will make sure he will be if he isn’t.”

“I highly doubt interrogation would help… Besides, this is like the fifth vault in the past few months. There was the vault of the warrior, the one from the campaign of carnage, the one on EDEN when we came back and met Athena, the Vault of the Traveler that Zer0 was helping with and now this?” She said, walking over to the fast travel station that wasn’t that far from the encampment. “What do you think we may find this time?”

Axton mumbled under his breath for a moment “Well if I don’t intergate, who knows what Salvador will do?” He then looks at Gaige “I hope it will be worth our time that’s for sure. I mean I hope it doesn’t turn out like Wam Bam Island again.”

“What? Not a fan of seafood or crab?” Gaige messed with him before interacting with the fast travel station. “I’m joking, geez. Anyways, I’m fast traveling us back to Sanctuary now.” The machine whirred to life as it soon transported both of them over to Sanctuary… one of few places that is actually safe on a planet filled with dangerous creatures and crazy cannibals.

However, only five seconds after they arrived in Sanctuary, they saw Claptrap zip past them on the way to Moxxi’s bar. “Hey Axton… Why do I have a feeling that Claptrap caught wind of the whole vault thing? He’s racing over to Moxxi’s right now.”

Axton groaned out loud “Oh for f*cks sake really?! Well, nothing we can do about it now, lets just turn in the job and see what the whole thing is about now.” 

“So basically kill two birds with one stone. That sounds about right.” Gaige sighed as she walked on over… only to hear a different voice speaking… and to her surprise, it sounded a LOT more annoying than Claptrap whenever he would say anything.

“Ah, about time you came Vault Hunters,” Gaige and Axton heard as they saw Sir Hammerlock; Hunter, Scholar, and Gentleman, moments after walking in through the side entrance of the bar. “Would you care to have a conversation with Mr. D over there please? He makes my brain cells commit suicide one by one more than Claptrap does.”

“And I respect your opinion!” The robot that he was talking about a few minutes ago declared as he pushed past Gaige at the door.

“Oh god, there’s two of them now.” The gentleman groaned. “Just… be careful with our… new guest. Even though a lot of the rubbish that he might say from time to time is strange, he does speak the truth whenever the conversation relates to the vault that he knows about.” With that, he excused himself as Axton and Gaige soon noticed the other vault hunters nearby. However… when they walked over to them, a snap of this person’s fingers had everyone leave the bar, have Moxxi move to the back of the bar… and immediately slammed the doors.

“Welcome… Now that we’re in a more… private setting… I take it that the six of you are the ones that are called… Vault hunters?”

Axton and the others all look at the stranger with a hint of fear, but he glared at him all the same. “Yeah we are, so what exactly do you want with all six of us?” 

“Well… I believe I have some information that might be of use to you… and a job if you are willing to undertake it…” The stranger replied, his eyes meeting Axtons. There were a lightish yellow and red and looked at them each menacingly.

“What exactly are we dealing with?” Maya said in a snarky tone, folding her arms. “Do you have proof?”

“Why yes…” He said, snapping a finger as a picture soon landed on the table. It showed a rocky stone wall that was inside of a canyon. But one thing stood out amongst everything else.

“Look, along the wall/ Doesn’t that right around there/ seem familiar?” Zer0 spoke in Haiku as Gaige had a look at it as well.

“Yeah, if anything, that looks like the gate that spawned the Warrior when Jack used the Vault Key.” Gaige spoke up. “Where is this?”

“STRIP THE FLESH!!” Krieg interjected, causing Maya to sigh as the abrupt statement almost startled the cloaked figure.

“Don’t mind Krieg… His actions speak louder than his words.”

“And I am one who likes to take action.” The figure replied. “Though, to get to this vault, it won’t be easy…”  

“I’m going to assume that it somehow needs a key?”

“Let’s not focus on the minor details. Those will come in time… Now, what I would like to know if  you are all interested in undertaking this task.” He asked, looking at each one of them and waiting for a response from them.

“Hell yes I am!” Salvador shouted.

“Count me in.” Maya replied.

“Would you consider it a challenge?” Zer0 then asked the stranger.

“Uh… yes?”

“This is intriguing/The vault, my masterpiece/Challenge accepted.” The assassin replied once more in Haiku.

“Hmm, Why not? Seems like it will be a fun ride.” Axton said as he held onto his shotgun and primed it. 

“I’m ready to kick some ass and take some names… and loot while I’m at it.” Gaige smirked, her confidence bursting through the roof. 

“I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED FOR THE RIBCAGE SLAUGHTER!!!” Krieg boasted while lifting his buzz-axe into the air and eager for action. That made the stranger smile wickedly under his hood, despite the fact that none of the other vault hunters could actually see it.

That was when Maya realized something that she decided to bring up as a question that needed to be asked. “Uhh… Not to be rude… But how exactly are we supposed to get to wherever the hell this vault is? There isn’t exactly a ship we could take now… is there?”

“Don’t you worry about it… I have it all figured out…” The strangers tone had changed from friendly and welcoming to something more mischievous and menacing as he snapped his fingers again as a blinding flash went off in the room. Causing each one of the vault hunters to disappear as the stranger soon got up from his seat and checked the time on a pocket watch. “Hunh… Looks like I still need to attend that get-together with Cae Cae this afternoon. Shame, I thought this would last alot longer… Oh well, happy trails vault hunters!”



Some time later…

When Gaige was beginning to wake up, she felt as if she was thrown into several brick walls before actually coming to her senses. Whatever that stranger did had now caused her to wake up in the middle of an unknown planet and right in the middle of a blazing desert. “W-what the hell w-was that all about?” She asked herself, trying to reach up to her goggles so the sand from the desert wouldn’t get in her eyes.

That was when she realized something… She didn’t exactly feel fingers on the side of her face and when she turned her head, her eyes laid directly on what was now a hoof… and a foreleg of a pony. Panicking a little, she turned to her other arm, relieved a little that it didn’t change… but shocked once she realized that the rest of her body changed too along with the fact that there was a horn on the front of her forehead. “Okay, what the actual hell happened!?”

Axton then stirred after hearing Gaige basically shout. “Err Gaige, quiet down, I feel like I have the mother of all…” Axton then looks over at what he assumes Gaige is “Um… What?” However, when Gaige saw the commando, she couldn’t help but begin to laugh her head off in response. “Oi shut up you little-” He tried to stand up only to fall flat on his face, which fuels Gaige to laugh even harder. “Okay, what is going on here?” Axton looked behind him… only to see instead of his normal body, an equine like body. He looked back at Gaige with a deadpanned expression on his face as he grit his teeth “Shut up.”

“Sorry, I can’t help myself…” She said, looking around her before redirecting her attention to her ECHO device as she tried to figure out some things with the device. “Well… this sucks… my ECHO is working fine, but it can’t recognize the planet that were on at all. It can’t even come up with a map for us to show where we need to go.”

Axton sighed as he tried to stand up on his, now four, legs. Only to end up sitting “Well this can only get worse then. I wonder if this happened to the others?”

“It’s possible, but right now I think it’s just us…” She said before noticing something far off in the distance. “Hey, do you have a sniper rifle on you. I think I see a town, but I can’t tell from this far away.”

Axton then raises his forelegs “I do, but why don’t you have one? Also how in the hell would I even hold one with these… Things?” As he waves around his newly discovered forelegs again. 

“For your first question, I don’t use snipers because of my anarchy stacks. The more kills I get or the more times I empty the gun of my magazine has me trade accuracy in exchange for more damage. So, if I tried sniping while I had anarchy stacks, it would be like trying to shoot something while drinking,” She said, wanting to forget what happened during the Wedding Day Massacre with Moxxi. “Second, maybe you should try wrapping your… hoof around it and see what happens I guess.” 

“I guess, one sec then.” Axton then opens his echo device and swapped out one of the weapons he had equipped for one that was in his inventory. Taking a moment to look down the sight at what Gaige was talking about, the Commando could now see clearly what it was. “Well, you’re right about the town, that’s for sure.”

“Really?” Gaige asked, feeling a little relieved that they were less likely to be stranded in the desert. “What does it look like?”

“Well… It’s like Lynchwood but… well less Lynchwood.”

“How can it be less Lynchwood?” The Mechromancer asked, remembering the old western town on Pandora that was run by the Sheriff… who turned out to be Handsome Jack’s girlfriend.

“Well, there isn’t any bodies hanging from any gallows so that’s a start at least,” Axton responded, putting his rifle back in his inventory and getting his shotgun out again. “I really hope that what happened to us will end soon, I like my old body better than being a horse.”

“I don’t know… It kind of feels interesting to be like this… Plus I figured out how to do this while you were looking at the town up ahead.” Gaige replied as the horn on her head lit up as she began to carry one of her weapons on her. “Whatever this is, it’s f**king awesome!!”

“Well at least we don’t have to worry about Tiny Tina seeing us like this.” Axton sighed as the two of them began to trot towards the town. Upon getting closer though, Gaige stopped him and nudged him in the elbow for a moment.

“Dude… this place looks to be a bit… peaceful. Maybe you should put the weapon away so you look less… intimidating.” She suggested. “I think it might work out better in the long run if we don’t look like we want to blow their heads off. I mean, look.” When Gaige pointed this out, Axton saw a bunch of different ponies, where there were young kids playing throughout the town or adults talking amongst themselves. “These guys don’t look like the bandits that wanted to kill us in Lynchwood.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Axton then puts his shotgun away and has no weapon out. “I just hope Krieg and Salvador aren’t left alone together…” Axton shudders at that thought. “I pity the person who crosses their path.”

“Right…” Gaige said as they trotted through the entrance of the town, which was named Appleloosa as both of them took a look around. “Hey, maybe there’s some kind of visitor’s office or someplace where you can find some information. I can check over here if you want to check right there.”

“Well, here's hoping they are friendly to outsiders.” Axton sighed as he trotted up to the door of the first building on the left as Gaige took the chance to look around a little. However, after a few moments, she soon began to notice that some of the ponies there were now stopping what they were doing to go into their homes. For a moment, the Mechromancer thought that somehow she scared them off… but then turned to see the real reason why.

There was a group of what appeared to be thugs racing towards the town. One of them that was running towards a filly that had tripped in the street trying to pick up a ball that belonged to her. Thinking on instinct, the Mechromancer put herself between the stallion racing forth and the filly… punching the desperado in the face to the point that his companions could hear his skull crack. That caused all the savages that were trying to race towards her to stop… but then they heard a voice that made them turn around.

“What the hell is with the hold up!? We’re suppose to be causing havoc and we can’t do that while you idiots are standing sti-.” Soon, the stallion that appeared to be their leader moved forward… and saw Gaige. “Seriously? You all stopped because a mare walked in front of you? She really doesn’t look like the attractive type on the outside-.”

“It’s not that, Blazerunner!! She punched Blitz and cracked his skull!! Her foreleg is made out of freaking steel!!” That was when the boss looked and noticed what the thug had just told him.

“So? You guys cower in fear because one mare had you guys fearstricken and you don’t pass up at the opportunity to eat cooked lizard.” The leader said while shaking his head, looking back at Gaige. “Look lady, I don’t know who the hell you are, but my boys and I are going to make sure that you pay for what you did.”

“Oh really now?” Gaige smirked as she stood her ground. “Then come at me, jokers. I got something to show you.”

“And what would that be?”

“Oh it’s just a little something I like to call…” Gaige chuckled as she raised her metal arm and the digistruct energy began to form around her and summon her most greatest creation… Deathtrap. “DEATH BY ROBOT!!!”

“OH DEAR GODDESS, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT-!?!” One of the stallions screamed before one of Deathtraps claws began to tear apart the small group to pieces. Gaige herself was able to draw out her Unkempt Harold as she began to open fire and provide support for her robot companion. The leader of the group watched, horrified as all the members of his gang were getting torn apart, one by one. Even with him trying to throw a knife at the mare, one shot from Gaige’s weapon of choice caused it to fall to the ground before even trying to reach it’s target.

“J-just what are you!?!”

“I AM A BADASS!!” The Mechromancer announced while Deathtrap clapped his metal hands together and caused the majority of the gang members to explode. But Blazerunner tried something different and instead tried throwing a knife towards the filly behind them to get Gaige to lower her guard down. That attempt though just lead to Deathtrap putting up a shield around the filly, protecting it from harm as the last thing Blazerunner saw was a pair of explosive bullets going towards his face.

“What… that was it?!” Gaige sighed, almost like she was expecting more. “And now I need to clean up this mess before-.”

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Axton exclaimed as he looks out at the scene before himself. “I THOUGHT YOU SAID NO NEED FOR WEAPONS?”

“Yeah… about that…” She was going to explain, before the filly went up to Gaige and hugged her. Catching her by surprise.

“Thanks from saving me from those baddies, miss… You were amazing out there!” The youngster replied. “I wanna grow up to be just like you one day!”

“O… kay, good luck kiddo.” Gaige replied, not expecting for her to turn out to be a role model for a young filly. That was when she noticed the stallion that was next to Axton look up as he looked at the devastation left behind.

“Holy hay… T-those guys have been wanted for the harassment of our town for weeks! J-just how did you-?”

“Ehh, it’s an occupational Hazard my friend and I face every day. Say, Axton. Do you know this guy?” Gaige sighed. Though, there was one detail that Axton heard that caught his attention.

“Oh, how much were they wanted for?” Axton says as he turned to the stallion next to him. “And to answer your question Gaige, this is Braeburn.” 

“Uh… I believe was for ten thousand bits… but that was if he was alive… so I believe it’s five thousand.” The stallion named Braeburn replied. “I’m kind of surprised by the fact that you were able to take them on so easily. Are you two bounty hunters or something?” He then asked as Deathtrap began to dematerialize into white pixels and Gaige put her weapon away after reloading it for the next time that someone… or somepony tried to catch her off guard.

“Bounty Hunters? Really?” Gaige asked as she trotted over to the other two stallions before adjusting her goggles. “Axton and I aren’t exactly that… You want to tell him Ax or should I?”

“Braeburn, we are… Vault Hunters. We’re like treasure hunters in a sense but different-.” Axton said at first before being interrupted by the other stallion.

“So like Daring Do then?”

Gaige just turned to Axton with a confused look on her face as she looked back at Braeburn. “Who the hell is this… Daring Do that you’re talking about?”

“She’s a character in a collection of books that hunts the most rarest treasures in Equestria.” He replied, causing Axton and Gaige to look at each other in confusion at one other detail.

“What is Equestria?” They both asked, almost simultaneously.

“You don’t know about Equestria?” Braeburn asked.

“It’s been a long day and earlier, we were getting shot at by a bunch of psychopaths that wanted to use our heads for merry-go-rounds. So yea, we’re not familiar with where we are at all.” Gaige quickly summarized for him as the Stallion tried to process everything that was said.

“Basically what she said. So excuse us if we don’t know where we are.”

“Hmm… I see… If that’s the case, I think I may know somepony that could possibly help you two.” Braeburn told them as he handed a small sack with the bits from the bounty on Blazerunner’s head. On top were what appeared to be a set of tickets… but that’s not what immediately came to Axton’s mind at first.

“Wait, hold up… Did you just say somepony? Don’t you mean someone?”

“Well, yeah. Most of the species across the planet are equine besides the Griffons, Buffalo, Yaks, Changelings, Dragons, Minotaurs, Centaurs, Draconequus and whatever else is across the other side of the ocean. So yeah, it’s a common phrase.” Braeburn responded to Axton’s question the best he could. In that moment, Gaige turned to Axton and whispered something to him.

“Whatever you do… don’t… tell… Tiny… Tina…”

“I won’t if you won’t.” Axton whispered back.

“Anyways, as a way of saying thanks for dealing with our bandit problem, I have a pair of train tickets for you two. I have some family back in a small town called Ponyville that know a friend that might help you be a little more… familiar with your current environment. Just look for somepony called Applejack, tell her that your friends with me, and say that you're looking for Twilight Sparkle. That mare is like a walking encyclopedia and she can probably answer your questions better than I can.”

“I hope she doesn’t remind me of Dr. Tannis. The last thing I wanted to hear from her is how she was able to build a seismograph out of rusty metal and mucus in order for us to find Terramorpheus.”

“If this Twilight does turn out like that,” Axton shakes his head “I don’t know what I would do.”

“Hopefully, everyone else is doing a lot better than us right now.”



Meanwhile…

The cold winds of the frozen tundra that they were in reminded Maya of when she had first awoken on the Southern Shelf after crash landing on Pandora. She woke up to find both herself and her fellow vault hunter Krieg to be cast out in the middle of nowhere. Earlier, during their travels, they had to fend off a group of pissed off yeti creatures that almost resembled Bullymongs from Pandora, but had one less set of arms. 

Now though, she could see the blizzard around them to lighten up as both her and the Psycho came across a giant castle made entirely of Crystals. Nothing was out of place on it, but it just seemed strange to find it in the middle of a frozen hell… then again, the two of them had no idea of where they were or where their comrades were and any attempts at trying to ECHO them have all but failed.

Then there was the fact that the two of them, somehow, were now pony versions of themselves. Of course, the mask was still able to cover Kriegs face, but a lot of the clothes and items that they had on them before were still there. Which was something she was thankful for… for the most part.

Right now, as she was looking through the sights of a Maliwan SMG that was named “HellFire”, the siren noticed that there were a few guards on top of the walls as she observed them… only to notice that these guards were very… shiny. It took her a few seconds to realize two things. One, they were made out of crystals.

Two, Krieg was missing. “Oh dear god, where did he run off too now?” She said to herself, only to hear something a few seconds later that would immediately answer her question.

“PRETTY LADY, LOOK!!! WE FOUND BUTT STALLION!!!!”

“What did you just call me, you overgrown ape?!” Someone yelled as Maya raced over to where Krieg was. The Psycho appeared to have found what looked like a waiting platform for a train… and who he was referring to almost made Maya think it was actually what he was talking about. But there was a couple of major differences.

For one thing, unlike Butt Stallion, this pony only had one horn. Second, she looked more… animated. Almost like it was from one of those ECHO shows that Lilith would refer to every once in awhile.

“Sorry ma’am, my friends… well… doesn’t necessarily think what he says before it comes out of his mouth.”

“Oh? And who would you be?” The mare replied.

“My name is Maya and this is Krieg… We’re kind of lost and-.”

“OH DEAR CELESTIA, WHAT IS THAT THING!?!” Somepony shouted as both of them turned around to see exactly what that pony was referring to… It was a freaking huge Varkid. Like one of the ones that Maya had to face when she helped Marcus save Mercenary day. But somehow, it had grown to the point that it was now the size of Vermivorous the Invincible… and this made Krieg extremely excited.

“TIME FOR A BLOODY RAMPAGE!!!!”

“Everyone run, we’ll take care of this!!” Maya shouted as most of the civilians began to run. However, the one mare that she was talking to questioned her motives.

“Are you crazy!? That hideous thing can kill you!!!”

“It can try.” Maya smirked, getting out the SMG that had previously put away only a few moments ago as she caught up to Krieg, her left foreleg glowing as she stared the monster down and all the little varkids that were below it before phaselocking them in place. Stunning almost anypony that watched what was happening “Fear me, Bitches!!!”




> Chapter 2: Unexpected encounters 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The grinding of the train’s gears along the tracks was a bit unsettling at first for Gaige and Axton as they were sitting down. Granted, most of the times that they were on a train would result in two likely scenarios. A: the train would likely be a trap in which someone wanted to kill them or blow them up, or B; that train would be taking them to someplace filled with bandits and creeps that would have also wanted to kill them or blow them up. Of course, both vault hunters also had the pleasure to be the ones blowing up trains instead of being blown up. One such case was that of pulling off a train robbery with the help of Tiny Tina… and with their new surroundings… they were thinking about her A LOT.

“Well, this is a definite change of pace than what we’re used too.” Gaige sighed as she tried to get comfortable in her seat. “Hell, we’re going to someplace that’s actually safe rather than some place filled with Nomads and Marauders.”

“It definitely is, and well I won’t call it safe until I see it for myself.” He then mumbles out “I wonder if it is odd that I prefer to get shot at?”

“Well you were a DAHL commando for ten years and your ex-wife was basically your superior officer so… I would think that all that time in the military is getting to you.” Gaige chuckled, messing with Axton like the last time when they met Athena a couple of months back.

Axton smirked at that statement, humoring her for a moment. “Heh, you may be true about it getting to me, but it breaks up the monotony of just waiting for the next big thing to happen.”

“Wasn’t that how you got dismissed in the first place?” The Mechromancer asked, before realizing what she said. “Sorry, was that too soon?”

Axton waved her off “Nah, I put that all behind me now. But you aren’t wrong about it. Besides, I wracked a lot more cash as a merc than being a solider anyway.”

“Don’t forget about when you were with us, I can’t exactly count the amount of times that your turrets got us out of a tight spot.” When the Mechromancer said that, she was referring to the two boxes that Axton always had on him just in case if they were to get outnumbered. As a Commando, Axton learned how to make a Sabre turret that could collapse into a portable size and also come out when he needed it. His time with Gaige and the rest of the vault hunters have helped him with adding new perks to those turrets, including having them be attached to walls or ceilings if there was something blocking his path.

All six of them had something called an action skill for when they needed an upper hand in combat. For Gaige, it was Deathtrap. For Axton, it was his Sabre Turrets. For Maya, she could phaselock any idiot that came too close to her and suspend them in midair. Making them susceptible to a shotgun round in the face. Zer0 can cloak himself when needed, Salvador can go into a rage and wield two firearms at once and lastly, Krieg would go into a rampage with his buzz axe like he was playing a game of golf with the skulls of the enemies he decapitated.

Back in the present though, Axton just nodded his head as he came up with a response to Gaige. “Yeah, but remember I said merc, not Vault Hunter. I don’t regret becoming a Vault Hunter anyway, It’s a hell of a lot more interesting than just waiting for the next bounty.”

“You’re right on that. Hell, the reason why I was on my way to Pandora in the first place was because of an… accident that lead to me being labeled a Criminal back on Eden-5. My home planet was nice and all, but I liked it better with you guys that’s for sure.” When Gaige said accident, she was referring to an incident where a bully at her school tried to rip off the designs of Deathtrap, win the science fair and then get in Gaige’s face about it. However, that lead to Deathtrap’s protections protocols activating and also blew up that same bully into a million pieces. Leading to her getting expelled from her school… and also arrested… Until her father helped her in her “escape” and gave her a one way ticket to Pandora.

Axton then looks back outside the train, “How long did Braeburn say this ride was going to be again, I mean the trains on Pandora are way faster than this one. Then again Pandora was more technologically advanced.”

“Who knows. My best guess is that since this train operates a lot like the ones in Lynchwood, I would think a couple hours. Hell, they still run on coal I believe.” Gaige responded to him and answered his question the best she could. “Hopefully we’ll be there soon. I would actually like to talk to somebody who can probably help us with our situation. Heck, they may know where Maya and the others are… hopefully.”

“Yeah, it would help if we did know where the others were.” Axton then lied down on the train seat, trying to stretch out a little and be comfortable. “Well all we can do now is wait and hope we can get answers we like or are helpful.”

The Mechromancer smirked after hearing that, thinking of something in her head. “At least Claptrap is not referring to us as his minions now… which makes me wonder… where do you think he is anyway? I mean, he was in the same room as us when we were talking to that stranger and-.” She stopped for a moment when she began to overhear some whispering nearby. Turning around, she saw three small curious fillies that were right next to her… and looking at her metal arm.

“Uh… Hi?” She said, causing all three of them to look at her like if a puppy was curious at to what you were doing.

“Uh… Ma’am… can we ask you something-?”

“Woah woah woah… Hold on… Did you just call me ma’am?” Gaige asked, causing all three of them to nod their heads. “How old do you even think I am?”

“Uh… just as old as my sister so… maybe twenty… three?” One of the fillies, a white unicorn that a strange colored mane that reminded Gaige of ice cream for some odd reason, responded. “Of course, she always uses those odd beauty products to make herself look younger…”

“ … Axton, can you help these three?” The Mechromancer asked, causing him to look at the three fillies on right next to Gaige before looking back at her. 

Axton then chuckled at this “Nope, all yours.” Gaige groaned a little as she looked at them before sighing to herself.

“Okay… for your information kids, I’m not twenty three. I’m actually fifteen.” She said, before one of the other ponies, who was an earth pony with a bow in her mane, spoke up.

“Then why do you have a metal foreleg? I always thought that ponies like my granny would need something like a walker to help them.” She said, causing Gaige to try and put every ounce of self control she had into controlling herself and not wanting to strangle the filly for referring to her as old.

“…Can I ask who you three are and why are you asking about my arm?” Gaige asked.

“Well, I’m Applebloom and these two are my friends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Together, we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!!” The last part of the sentence was said in unison, causing Gaige to look at Axton and begin regretting asking for their names in the first place. “Also, we were asking because we were just curious and since the ride home from our class field trip is super boring, we thought we would trot around a little.” 

“Yeah, we spent all day at the Manehattan science fair and I felt like I was going to fall asleep.” Scootaloo replied… But this gave Gaige… an idea… one that when Axton looked at her, he thought that she was planning something. 

“So… you want to know why I have a metal arm?” She asked, grinning a little as she looked back at them. “Well, I’m not sure if I should say this because it might be a bit… messy but… I can tell you… as long as you don’t freak out about it.”

“We won’t!” They all said in unison, causing Axton to look back at Gaige for a minute.

“You sure about this Gaige?” 

“What? It’s not like I’m going to give them nightmares. All I was gonna say was that I cut it off for a science project so I can make Deathtrap-.” When she said that, she soon turned towards the fillies and then sighed. “Well… cats out of the bag now.”

The response… from Scootaloo no less… caught Gaige by surprise. “That… sounds… AWESOME!!! Well, not as awesome as Rainbow Dash, but still… AWESOME!!”

“Well Gaige, how does it feel to be a role model now?” Axton smirked as he looks at Gaige. All that caused her to do was cause Gaige to growl a little. Just as one of the other crusaders spoke up.

“Wait a minute… you cut off your foreleg… for a science project?” Sweetie Belle asked, causing Gaige to nod her head as the filly raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Well, my kind of science involves building robots. Not those kind of robots used to clean carpets or be a full on made, but death machines.” Gaige replied as she looked back at the filly. “It’s a lot to explain, but sadly, I can’t bring out Deathtrap now since it’s too small of a space for him to move around, but don’t worry, he won’t harm you guys.”

Sweetie Belle now looked back at Scootaloo and her friend Applebloom as she said something to them. “Okay, I have to admit… That’s kind of cool. Still, who’s the stallion next to you? Is he your dad?”

Axton whipped his head in Sweetie Belle's direction and shot her a look. “No I am not her father.”

“We’re just… friends.” Gaige replied, trying to simplify it a little for them.

“Where are you two coming from?” Applebloom then asked, now taking a chance to speak up and ask a question this time.

“Well we were coming from Appleloosa after meeting someone named Braeburn-.”

“You met my cousin, Braeburn?” Applebloom asked, surprising both Vault Hunters in the process.

Axton then raises an eyebrow “Well that’s interesting to learn, anyway now we are heading toward Ponyville to meet up with Applejack.”

“Why do you need to meet my sister?” Applebloom then said again, surprising Axton and Gaige for the second time today.

“Well it is so she can help us meet with one called Twilight-.”

“Hold on Axton,” Gaige cut him off. “Applebloom, how do you know both Braeburn and Applejack.”

“Why they’re family of course! The Apple Family’s got family members all across Equestria, silly!” She replied as both Gaige and Axton looked at one another. “Where are you two from? Another Planet?”

“Well-.”

Attention Passengers, we are now approaching Ponyville Station. I repeat, we are now approaching Ponyville station. Thank you for riding the Friendship Express and have a wonderful day!

Shortly after the announcement came on, all three of the fillies soon realized that they almost forgot something. “Oh crabapples! We still need to get our saddlebags!! Nice talking to you Gaige! You too, Mister!” Scootaloo yelled as all three fillies raced back to one of the other cars as the train began to slow down to a complete stop.

“Seriously Axton? Were you actually going to tell them that we were from another planet? I don’t think our plan was to make everyone in this town think we’re crazy.” She told him as the Mechromancer stood back up and began to walk for the nearest train exit.

“At first I was, but then I was going to say we don’t know the Apple family. Now let's go and find Applejack.”

“Something tells me that if Applebloom was coming back from a field trap, then her sister may be waiting for her outside the station. Braeburn said she was wearing a hat right? Like an old western one?” She then asked as both of them trotted off of the train. 

“It would be right to think so.” Axton said, not watching where he was walking as he fell down and landed face first on the ground, causing Gaige to laugh. He was going to ask for help, until he looked up to see an light orange mare with a stetson hat.

“Need some help there, fella?” He heard the mare say to him as she offered him a hoof to help him up.

“Uh yeah… thanks.” Axton said as he accepted the help, letting the mare pull him up to his feet.

“Well… Never seen ya around here before. What’s your name, sugarcube?” She asked, only causing Gaige to try and contain her laughter because of the way she said the last statement… and the one person that Axton and Gaige knew, who called them “sugar” all the time back on Pandora.

“Well my name is Axton, and please don’t call me “sugarcube”.”

“What’s wrong with Sugarcube?” Applejack asked, tilting her head and noticing something. “Can you hang on for just a second? My sister and her friends just got off the train-.”

“Applejack!” Axton turned around, only to see the little filly he saw earlier hug the older mare as her friends came up beside her. “You are not going to believe who we met on the train-!” Before she can say anything else, the filly soon noticed Axton standing there. “Oh hey there, mister…”

“Applebloom, be nice.” Applejack told her younger sister. “This stallion’s name is Axton.”

“Hi there mister Saxton!”

Axton’s eye soon twitches at the butchering of his name. “It’s Axton.”

“Isn’t that what ah just said?” The filly asked.

Axton opened his mouth to say something then just sighed and shook his head. “Nevermind.” Soon though, her friends joined up with her just as Gaige trotted up next to Axton.

“Getting to know the locals Axton?” Gaige chuckled as Applejack turned to notice her… and her metal arm.

“What the hay?” Applejack questioned as she looked at who was next to the Commando. “Axton, do you know her?”

“Yeah, this is my… Friend Gaige.” He replied, looking back at her before looking back at Applejack.

“And how did your friend get that… metal foreleg of hers?” She then asked. Axton was going to respond… but Scootaloo beat him to it.

“She cut off her original foreleg for a science project involving big robots!!”

Axton then looked at Scootaloo, then back to Applejack. “Basically what she said.” But that did little to try and help Applejack understand as her eyes twitched a little. Leading to her response as she looked back at Axton.

“Are you sure that she’s your friend, Axton?” She then asked, a little bit concerned based on what both he and Scootaloo had told her already. Because to her, Gaige sounded a lot more like a safety risk than a friend.

“Yeah I’m sure. Besides, that is just putting it lightly, about her… foreleg I mean.” The Commando replied to her, having Applejack sigh a little bit before he continued to speak. “Anyway, can you take me and Gaige here to... Twilight Sparkle.” He says to Applejack before they have to spend the next few minutes talking about Gaige’s metal arm.

“You need to see Twilight? Now why would-?” Applejack was going to ask them why, but then Gaige decided to cut in and help explain everything to her.

“Well, we were originally lost in the middle of the freaking desert and a stallion in Appleloosa named Braeburn told us that you knew someone who can help us. It was sort of a way to thank us for dealing with those stupid bandits that had been bothering the town earlier so yeah…” the Mechromancer tried to summarize it for the farm pony, but she could tell that Applejack was still confused. “Trust me, we’ll explain it better once we go meet her. I promise.”

The earth pony sighed, tilting her hat a little as she looked at the two of them. “Well, from the looks of it, both of you are telling the truth… and since you did help mah cousin, the least ah can do is lead you over to the castle.” Both Axton and Gaige looked at each other once she said that… which lead to them saying the same thing… simultaneously.

“Castle?”

“Yeah, it’s not far. Follow me,” Applejack told them as the two of them followed the earth pony into the center of town with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Soon though, both Vault Hunters could see the ‘castle’ that Applejack was talking about… which surprised them at first.

“Um… are you sure that is a castle? It looks more like a giant freaking big tree to me.” Axton says about the “castle” in front of them. Which led to him getting elbowed by Gaige a few seconds later. Axton suppressed a yelp as he was hit by her metal arm. 

“I think both you and I know from experience Axton that looks can be deceiving… Do I need to remind you about the BNK-3R?” Gaige asked him while they were trotting towards the… tree.

“Oh yeah, that was a trip for sure.” He groaned, flashing back to when both of them were with the other Vault Hunters along with Brick, the Slab King, as they lead an assault on Control Core Angel. Which was a heavily guarded Hyperion facility overlooking the plateau of Thousand Cuts. They were originally looking for a place that was a bunker. But it turned out that this “bunker” wasn’t a place, but a giant flying ship with a huge ass laser gun and enough weapons to obliterate any threat that approaches it.

“What the hay are you two talking about?” Applejack asked, overhearing a small bit of their conversation.

“Something that you don’t need to know about.” Axton told her as they near the entrance of the tree. Surprising enough, when they saw Applejack knock on the door… they were surprised at who answered the door.

“Hey Applejack, how are you-?” Gaige and Axton now saw a small tiny dragon holding the door open as he looked at them. “Uh… who are these ponies?”

“Spike, these two are Axton and Gaige. They wanted to be able to speak with Twilight. Can we come in?”

“Sure, just give me a moment.” He replied, holding the door open as he looked back at the group… before seeing Gaige’s left arm. “Hey, why does she have a metal claw?”

Though Gaige liked having it be called a “claw” instead of a foreleg, she sighed and tried to answer his question quickly and simply. “You’ll find out soon.” She said, messing around with the young dragonling and leaving him in suspense. Soon, when they came to the center of the tree, the group saw two ponies. One that was a Unicorn with a light pink fur coat along with a purple mane and tail with a cyan stripe down the middle and the other one that turned out to have both a horn… and wings. Lavender fur, purple mane and tail with a stripe of pink along the middle.

“Hello Applejack,” The one with wings greeted her friend… before turning to see Axton and Gaige. “Uhh… who are your friends?”

“Names Axton, and this one here is Gaige. We were told that you could help us with a problem we are having.”

“Sup?” Gaige said, waving for a moment as Twilight noticed her metal arm.

“Well, my name is Twilight Sparkle. This here is Starlight Glimmer… and can I ask you a couple of questions?” She asked the two of them, looking at some of the pieces of gear that were around their waist and also seeing their ECHO devices. “First… what are some of the contraptions that you have right there? I haven’t seen anything like it before.”

“Well this is our equipment.” Axton starts off. “This,” pointing to his shield “Is a shield, it basically acts how you would think it would, however mine is a little different. Mine is called the Sham, which lets it absorb projectiles that are coming my way.”

“Really? I thought a shield would look… bigger,” Twilight replied back before saying something to add onto that. “Besides, if you are a member of the royal guard, where’s your armor? Your spear? Your proof of transfer orders from Princess Celestia herself-.”

“Twilight, you’re overthinking again.” Starlight sighed, having her friend stop rambling and refocus a little.

“Oh sorry about that. I didn’t mean to interrupt, Mister Axton.” The princess apologized.

Axton looked at Gaige with a raised eyebrow before continuing to explain. “Anyway, next is a class mod” He then points to the mod on his shoulder “It powers up some skills I have to make me more of a Badass than I already am.”

“Uh… O… kay.” Twilight replied back, pulling out a notepad as she began to write some things down.

“What is she doing?” Gaige asked as she looked at Starlight, who sighed deeply before looking back at the two Vault Hunters.

“Twilight processes information better if she takes notes on it,” The unicorn explained, looking back at Gaige. “While she’s writing that down, maybe you could help me with answering some questions that are on my mind now.”

“Sure, fire away.” Gaige replied, chuckling a little at the small joke she made.

“Well first… I believe this question is on everypony’s mind but what exactly happened to your left foreleg?” That had Applejack hold her breath a little as she and some of the others looked back at her. The cutie mark crusaders were going to say something, but this time the Mechromancer made sure to beat them too it.

“I cut off my arm for a science project with a plasma saw-.” That caused the lavender pony that was writing things down a few seconds ago to drop her stuff on the table in shock… before shouting at her.

“ARE YOU BUCKING CRAZY!?!!” That… had ruffled Gaige’s mane and almost everypony else in the room… but Gaige still had something to say.

“God… damn you’re loud… Besides, I wasn’t even done talking. There was a reason for me doing that and it was so that way I can make the final touches on my greatest creation.” She replied. “Who wants to see it?”

“Uh…”

“WE DO!!!” All of the Cutie Mark Crusaders shouted at the same time, leading to Applejack facehoofing herself in the process. That had Gaige smirk a little as she looked around. There was plenty of space to bring out Deathtrap now, but to make sure that he didn’t necessarily hurt anypony, she had to modify it a little so she can call out a version that wouldn’t obliterate anything into a million pieces with an explosive clap.

“Alright. Everybody, let me introduce you to my friend… Deathtrap.” She said as the robot began to digitize into the room, leaving everypony… except for Axton… in a state of shock, surprise… and in the Cutie Mark Crusaders case… awe.

“That is AWESOME!!!” Applebloom said, “Applejack, can ah have one for Heart’s Warming! It can help me with mah chores!!”

“Absolutely not!!” Applejack shouted while everypony else looked a bit… intimidated.

“Don’t be shy. I turned off his combat protocols so no one can get hurt by him.” Gaige assured them as she looked back at them. “Which may also lead into the reason why Axton and I need your help in the first place Twilight… Should I tell her or you?”

“Well, lets see here. You see, we aren’t really familiar with the entire land of… Equestria.”

“I can see that… what are you two then?” Twilight asked, before overhearing Scootaloo interject.

“Ooh! Ooh! Are they Aliens?”

“Now that’s just ridiculous…” Spike sighed, rolling his eyes… before then asking Gaige. “Are you?”

“Well she’s not wrong… however, there’s more to this story than you think,” The Mechromancer told them while letting Deathtrap deconstruct into white pixels. “Grab a comfy chair, this may take a while.” With that, she let Axton continue speaking right from where he left off.

“You see, we came from a planet called Pandora. The planet is… what you may consider as the worst piece of real estate in the universe. But there’s a lot more too it than that,” He assured the group as the Commando looked at them. “There are areas on the planet that are, well safe havens would be the right term that let you kick back and relax from what Pandora has to offer. Let me say some of what you have to go through: Bullymongs, four armed yeti like creatures that will ruin your day. Psychos who will attack you just for looking at them weird. Skags which are dog like creatures who will rip your face off-” He pauses as he looks at the others. “A little too much or not enough?” 

“You forgot to mention that the psycho’s say the weirdest of crap sometimes,” Gaige replied. “Other than that, you’re pretty spot on… Maybe you should mention what we are though on Pandora to be safe.”

“Yeah, yeah I was getting to that. Anyway, what Gaige and I are, are Vault Hunters. Kinda like treasure hunters, except we go after places that hold ancient treasure and loot. We are, well something akin to I guess heroes would the right word to some people. I prefer to be called a Badass myself. Anyway back to Pandora, there are thousands of enemies we fight which also include fighting Loaders, or giant robots, sometimes midget robots. There are also places to get weapons, which are simply called vendors, to help protect one’s self from the dangers of Pandora. One more thing to note is that Pandora is also more technologically advanced than here, hence why my shield is like it is.” 

“Well, that answers… some things…” Twilight replied as she looked at Gaige and Axton. “But how exactly did you get to Equestria in the first place?”

“That… we are unsure about.” Gaige answered honestly. “Axton and I were with our fellow Vault Hunters talking to some stranger who knew about the location of a vault. Next thing we knew, Axton and I woke up in the desert not far from Appleloosa. I checked my ECHO, but there isn’t any form of… what the?” The Mechromancer paused for a moment to look up at Axton.

“What up, Gaige, got a call from one of the others or is it something else?”

“No… it’s not that at all. There's an unidentified ECHO user that I can actually connect to.” She replied back. “Give me a second to figure this out.” She replied, confusing the ponies listening.

“What’s this… ECHO you’re talking about?” Twilight then asked Axton, trying to figure out what Gaige was talking about.

“An ECHO is a communication device that lets us speak with another who has an ECHO. It also acts as a map of the area we are in and can highlight specific areas we need to go to on the map as well. It can act as an inventory for any items we pick up, like shields and class mods along with upgrade and enhance some skills that we would use in combat.” Axton explained to Twilight, as Gaige was figuring out who the ECHO user was.

However, both vault hunters were only able to recognize who it was… after hearing who was on the other end of the line. “WHO THE F**K THINKS IT’S A GOOD IDEA TO TRY AND CALL ME WHILE I’M SUPLEXING A SHARK WEARING A BOLO TIE!?!!”

That… left the room silent. The only one who said anything after that though was Spike. “Uh… who was that?”

“That sounded similar to Iron Will… just not actually Iron Will,” Twilight said, looking at Axton. “He’s a Minotaur that’s a motivational coach from time to time.”

“I see, well the one whom you just heard is a… friend would be a decent term, Mr. Torgue is his name.” Axton told Twilight in amusement. 

“WAIT A MINUTE!!! I RECOGNIZE THAT CALLER ID!! IT’S THE VAULT HUNTERS THAT ARE THE NUMBER ONE BADASSES ON PANDORA!!! THIS CALLS FOR AN EPIC INTRODUCTION WITH… wait for it… EXPLOSIONS!!!!” They heard him speak over the other end of the line with explosions in the background. “NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY, HOW ARE MY FAVORITE BADASSES DOING!?!”

“Uh… Great. We’re doing just fine…” Gaige replied as she then heard Applebloom speak up from her right hand side.

“What’s a badass?” That… caused some different reactions. Including one from Mr. Torgue.

“WHO SAID THAT? HANG ON A SECOND, LET ME TURN ON THE CAMERA FEATURE ON THE ECHO SO WE CAN TALK FACE TO FACE!! FACETIME, MOTHERF**KERS!!!” Gaige looked at Axton, who was giving her the look of ‘End that call NOW!’ and wanted to hang up, until the camera device of her Echo turned on and she was looking at Mr. Torgue. “HOLY F**KING S**T ON A F**KING POGO STICK!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!?!”

“That… is a long story… it also happened to Axton too,” Gaige smirked as she turned the device around to where the camera was facing the commando. “Say hi, Axton!”

Axton just glares at Gaige “Hey there Torgue, how's it going?” he said through gritted teeth.

“I’M DOING JUST FINE! THANKS FOR ASKING!! YOUR KINDNESS IN ASKING HOW I AM DOING IS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!!” He roared back as while Gaige turned it back around to where it was facing her. “SO CAN YOU GIVE ME A SHORT RECAP ON WHAT IS GOING ON? THAT WAY I’M ON THE SAME PAGE AS YOU TWO!!!”

“Well, to keep it brief, someone in Sanctuary knew where a vault was, all of us were there and the next thing you know, Axton and I end up in the Desert on another planet and turned into… well this.”

“OH I SEE… SO THAT’S HOW IT HAPPENED-!!”

“Uh… why does he always shout?” One of the fillies then asked, causing Torgue to look around in confusion.

“WHO SAID THAT? THIS IS HOW I NORMALLY TALK, NOW WHO SAID THAT-!” To simplify things, Gaige turned the device around, having him see the Cutie Mark Crusaders in person. But his reaction. “OH MY GOD… THOSE THREE ARE SO F**KING ADORABLE!!! THEY’RE LIKE AN EXPLOSION OF ADORABLENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Around then, everypony had mixed reactions to Mr. Torgue’s loud outburst. Some thought it was a compliment while others thought it was a massive headache. Axton though, had a question for the founder of the Torgue Coporation. “Um hey Torgue, how exactly are we talking to you anyway?”

“HMM… EXCELLENT QUESTION!!! MAYBE IT HAS TO DEAL WITH THE TORGUE SATELLITE THAT’S ORBITING AROUND THE PLANET THAT YOU GUYS ARE ON! WE LAUNCHED ONE UP SEVERAL MONTH’S AGO BECAUSE IT WAS PROPELLED BY EXPLODING ROCKETS!!! SINCE THAT SENDS ECHO FREQUENCIES TO OUR TEAM HERE TO FIND NEW CUSTOMERS, MAYBE IT’S WHY IT’S PICKING UP YOU TWO AND THE TWO THAT ARE OUTSIDE THE DOOR OF WHEREVER THE F**K YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT NOW!!!” For a moment, Gaige thought that anything after hearing him mention the satellite was self explanatory… but then she realized something.

“Wait… two outside the door?”

“Hey Twilight! Fluttershy and I met two new mysterious and super duper awesome friends today!!” All of them turned to see the doors open and four ponies walk in. Two stallions, two mares… and all of them recognized each other.

“Hi there, girls-.”

“Zer0!! Salvador!!”

“PLOT TWIST!!!!!”



> Chapter 3: The gangs all here
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some time earlier… 

As the sun rose over her cottage, Fluttershy was out feeding the animals that she would take care of on a usual basis, making sure that they weren’t hungry or complaining for food later in the day. Today, Discord was visiting the Princesses for Tea, so she was with Angel Bunny and the others this morning… and not expecting Pinkie Pie to burst through the door.

“Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy!” She said, bouncing up and down at rapid speed and trying to catch the Pegasus’ attention… Even if she was already aware of her presence in the room. “Guess what?”

“Uhh… H-hi Pinkie…” Fluttershy stuttered, trying to process what was happening. “W-what’s going on?”

“Twitchy tail!! Something’s gonna fall!!!” She said before zipping under the couch. For a moment, Fluttershy quickly hid under the dining room table… expecting for something to actually fall. Because any time that Pinkie Pie’s tail twitched, something actually did fall. For a few moments, nothing fell… causing the mare to think it was a false alarm.

That was, until she heard a loud THUD!! echo from outside, causing a flock of birds from the everfree forest to fly away. Which means that whatever fell… was in the Everfree Forest. This in turn caused the pegasus to worry. If something, like a tree, did fall, there was the possibility that an injured animal was out there. “Pinkie Pie, you can come out now… C-can you come with me into the Everfree Forest… i-if that’s okay with you, of course. You don’t have too if you’re busy-.”

“Sure I’ll come!! We might get the chance to meet some new friends!!” Pinkie said, causing her to zip out of the room. However, that was when Fluttershy remembered something. Back at Applejack’s farm, it was when Zap Apple season… but that meant only thing.

“Pinkie, wait-!” Just as she stepped outside, a loud BANG could be heard along with the howling of several Timberwolves. This made Fluttershy even more worried. She was really concerned that her friend was possibly in trouble. But that was followed by the same sound being repeated over and over again… along with what sounded like somepony… shouting.

“VÁMONOS, PUTAS!” Whatever it was sounded like it was something that a pony from Mexicolt would say as she continued to try and look for her friend through all the noise and the sounds of destruction. She galloped quickly… only to realize that one timberwolf… was right behind her. When she turned and cowered in fright, thinking the beast would hurt her… she soon heard the beast whimper before it fell to the ground… and somepony standing in front of her. For a moment, she thought it was Pinkie Pie… but what she heard was nothing like it.

“Are you injured?” She looked up, only to see what looked like a stallion in a full on body suit from head to toe… and a red question mark over it’s face. She shook her head, even though Fluttershy was still scared. She did not know this pony… or why it saved her. But she gathered enough courage in herself to ask him a question.

“W-who are you?” This though, caused the question mark over it’s face to change, now taking form in that of a number. The number zero. This confused her more than answered her question though as she tilted her head in confusion.

Hearing the synthetic voice once more… answered her question. “My name is Zer0/ Are you alright, young lady?/ Are you injured?”

“N-no… I-i’m fine.” She stuttered, before looking around. “Uhh… have you seen my friend, she’s-.”

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie!! What’s your name, you big brawny stallion that just kicked some major flank? Can I call you Sal-” She heard nearby, followed by hearing the voice that once shouted earlier replying.

“Por favor, senorita! Call me Salvador!!” She heard, before seeing both her friend… and a big stallion with something holstered over his shoulders and a lot of facial hair as she got up.

“Fluttershy, I found a new friend!!” Pinkie said, waving before looking at her and Zer0. “Ooooh!! Another one! Can you do something special?” She asked, before Zer0’s face changed to that of a smiley face. “EEEEEEE!!! Fluttershy, his face is an emoji!! Come on, we need to go show them to Twilight!!”

“B-but we just met them. Shouldn’t we-?” Before Fluttershy could even ask, the pink pony and the stallion that was with her ran off, leaving her and Zer0 behind.

“Would that be your friend?/ She is quite energetic/ Better follow her.” He spoke in Haiku as the stallion helped her out of the Everfree.

Thankfully, she did not even notice the massive pile of timberwolf bodies that were the aftermath of the Gunzerker’s carnage.



“So… you found these two in the Everfree Forest?” Twilight asked, trying to understand her friends. “Axton, Gaige, how do you know these two?”

“These two here are fellow Vault Hunters, we first met on a train that was going to take us to a person who would help us find a vault, but that turned out to be a trap-.”

“BOOOOOORING!!! JUST GET TO THE MAIN POINT ALREADY!!!” The group heard Mr. Torgue shout from Gaige’s ECHO device, which she set on the big map like table in the center of the castle. 

Axton eyes start twitching at the interruption. “I WAS GETTING TO THAT TORGUE, OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL THEM?!” Axton then takes a few calming breaths before continuing. “Sorry about that, have a bit of stress right now. Anyway, trap went off and we kick the ass of any robot that was on board before the train blew up.”

“Woah… remind me not to piss you off.” Gaige said on the side as she looked back at Twilight. “Zer0 is… well, to put it lightly an assassin that’s on our side. There’s not that much that we know about him. Other than that, Salvador is a gunzerker-.”

“What’s a gun?” That caused the Vault hunters along with Twilight and her friends to look at Sweetie Belle, Spike and the other members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “What? It was just a question.”

“HOLY SKAGSUCK!! THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT A GUN IS? WELL, IT’S TIME WE TEACH THEM A THING OR TWO ABOUT BEING A BADASS!! ORIGINALLY THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS HAD AN IDEA FOR A ECHO.NET SERIES ON THAT, BUT I THOUGHT OTHERWISE BECAUSE A, THERE WAS A LACK OF EXPLOSIONS AND B, THEY TRY TO HAVE ME BE “PROFESSOR TORGUE”. NO ONE MESSES UP MY FIRST NAME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!!” Mr. Torgue’s outrageous yelling only caused Starlight to raise an eyebrow.

“Wait… are you saying that your actual first name is… Mr. Torgue?”

“EXACTLY!!!” Torgue shouted. “NEVERMIND THAT!! VAULT HUNTERS, GIVE THEM THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT A F**KING GUN IS AND THEN AFTERWARDS, GIVE THEM A PROPER DEMONSTRATION!!! BLOW UP SOME APPLES OR SOMETHING, I DON’T CARE!!!”

Applejack’s ears twitched at the last part as she grit her teeth a bit. “We are NOT blowing up any of the apples on my orchard!!” She snarled a little, causing Gaige to act a bit surprised.

“Easy Applejack… It doesn’t exactly have to be apples… Twilight, would you happen to have something that could work for Target Practice? Like a wooden dummy or something?” Gaige asked her, trying to not comment on how Applejack’s anger reminded her of Maya. Before she could speak though, Twilight was interrupted by Spike as he looked at the group.

“I think Applebloom and the Cutie Mark Crusaders have one from the time they tried getting a Cutie Mark in martial arts. If we can bring that outside of town, then maybe-.”

“Hang on… What the hell is a cutie mark?” The Mechromancer then asked, confused by what the dragon was saying.

“You don’t know what a cutie mark is?” Twilight asked, tilting her head. “That’s sort of surprising because you have one already… But still, let me explain. All ponies have something called a cutie mark, which is a symbol on their flank that shows them what their special talent is. Mine resolves around magic… However, I can’t seem to get a grasp on yours-.”

“TRAMP STAMPS!!! OH, SORRY! I HAVE A HABIT OF THINKING OUT LOUD UNINTENTIONALLY!!! PLEASE CONTINUE!!!” Torgue shouted.

“It’s fine, Sugarcube.” Applejack said, which almost caused Gaige to snicker once she heard that. “Okay, seriously, what’s wrong with Sugarcube?”

“It’s a looooong story.” Gaige sighed. “Sorry Twilight, you were saying something?”

“Yeah uh… What does your Cutie Mark stand for?” She asked, pointing out the symbol on her flank. All that caused her to do was smirk a little to herself… and for Axton to sound a bit concerned.

“I don’t know if I should be concerned, or not surprised at all? Speaking of which…” Axton then decides to look at his Cutie Mark for the hell of it. He grins widely at what it was. When he looked at it The background of it was the skull from his patch, which has a crack down the middle in a lightning bolt shape, and has a turret shooting out rockets in the foreground of his Cutie Mark. Turning to look at the others, he saw that Salvador’s was a pair of crossed guns and Zer0’s was simply… well 0. 

“Maybe we can get that wooden dummy and head outside. I have a feeling that your talents will be demonstrated once we set up that practice range-.” Spike was going to continue, until he heard the strangest… and weirdest outcry ever from outside.

“THANK YOU FOR RIDING THE PSYCHO EXPRESS, TOOT-TOOT!!! ALL ABOARD, I’LL BE COLLECTING YOUR TICKETS AND WE HAVE BEVERAGES IN THE DINING CAR!!! FOR I AM THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!!!”

All the ponies… and Spike… looked at each other and looked like they were severely frightened. “W-what… the hay… was that?”

“That… must be Krieg…” Gaige said before realizing something. “Oh right… We didn’t mention that one of our guys was a reformed Psycho, did we?” 

“Nope, we didn’t say a thing about Kreig at all, nor Maya either I believe.” Axton said, looking at the other two vault hunters as they shook their heads.

“Yeah, something tells me that we're going to have to in a minute-.”

“Twilight! Help!!” They all heard another voice run in as the two vault hunters heard their other comrades outside.

“Krieg, knock it off!”

“HONEY, I’M HOME!!!”

“And the gangs now all here… Great…” Gaige groaned, tempted to facepalm herself in the process because of all the crazy shenanigans that were happening right now. “Glad to see you are okay, Maya.”

“Same to you… You know, even with the crazy sh*t that happens on Pandora… along with me being a Siren… It’s still going to take a bit to adjust to this place.” Once she heard siren though, Twilight was concerned and alarms were going off in her head.

“A Siren? Like the Dazzlings?”

“Who?” The Siren asked. Tilting her head. “I don’t know them, but whoever they are, they got nothing on me.”

“Yeah… where we’re from… Sirens are rare and… different. I’ll just leave Maya to explain this.” Gaige told them as she went to take a seat next to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“Thank you… Now, let me explain something. Back in our world, magic is… non-existent. But there are a few rare people in the world, primarily women, that are Sirens. Only six of them can be born at any given time and you can tell that one of them is a siren because of the tattoos on their left arm… or as Rarity told me earlier… left foreleg.”

“Oh… Well, that’s a lot to take in…” Twilight said on the side. Meanwhile for Axton though, a certain unicorn seemed to have noticed the commando by himself and proceeded to trot right next to him.

“Why hello there… I couldn’t help but notice you were a bit lonely, darling… mind if I join you?”

“Uhh sure?” Axton said, not exactly aware of what the mare was doing as he just looked at her cluelessly. While this was happening, Applejack soon asked an important question.

“Hey, uh… not to sound rude or invasive, but how old are you guys? I mean, Gaige looks rather… young to be wielding a weapon and blowing stuff up-.”

“WHAT!!? YOU THINK THAT SHE CAN’T BLOW STUFF UP BECAUSE SHE’S ONLY FIFTEEN!!! DISCRIMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!” They all heard Torgue yell over Gaige’s ECHO device as they looked around the room. 

“Wait, you’re only fifteen!?” Starlight asked, shocked. “Twilight’s only two years older than you and you’re… well…”

“Well, at least that’s better than what the Cutie Mark Crusaders originally said. They thought I was a lot older for my age because of my arm.” Gaige sighed. Taking the chance to switch the conversation around, Starlight then turned to face one of the other vault hunters.

“O… kay. How old are you Axton?” She asked, but before the Commando could say anything, Gaige beat him to it.

“Old enough to have an ex-wife.”

Axton just deadpanned at Gaige. “Wow, just real nice there Gaige… To answer Starlight’s question though, I’m Twenty Six actually.” When he spoke, that was when the others noticed the ring that was next to the dog tag that was hanging around his neck. Starlight nodded her head, asking the same thing to the other vault hunters. Even though Zer0 declined to answer and Krieg something random in Psycho speak, she was able to find out the age of both Salvador and Maya. 

“Thirty Six.” Salvador replied first, shortly followed by Maya “Twenty five.”

“Anyways, maybe we should proceed to that weapons demonstra-.” Twilight spoke up, shortly before she heard Spike burp as a scroll formed in his claws.

“Twilight, Letter!!”

“Uh… What was that?” Maya asked.

“It’s a type of magic that I use to stay in touch with Princess Celestia. She’s the one who’s been keeping Equestria safe for over 1000 years.”

“And some ponies thought I was old…” Gaige groaned as she got up from her seat on the floor.

“So… what does the letter say?” Axton asked Twilight, who was scanning over the letter as quickly as she could.

“She… needs our help… there’s been a disturbance in Canterlot recently regarding a… moving trashcan that talks… and there is some child inside the castle that has a… strange choice of dialect as well…” Twilight said, reading it. “I’m not sure what this is about, but if this happened due to you guys showing up… then you might want to come with us.”

“BUT WE JUST GOT HERE!!!” Krieg shouted, causing some of the others to tense up… Axton though, had something to say shortly afterwards.

“I swear to god… if that F*CKING ROBOT DID SOMETHING I WILL PERSONALLY SEND HIM THROUGH A F*CKING SHREDDER AND WATCH AS THE SHREDDERS TEETH TEAR IT APART!!” Axton then breathes a little heavily and soon calms down… and then it dawns on him about the child part. He then looks at Gaige in horror. “Gaige… I believe I think we know who that child is-.”

Maya then realized it as well. “Don’t tell me… are you thinking it’s Tiny Tina?”

“Who?” Almost all of the ponies nearly asked in unison.

“Let’s just say it’s what happens when a thirteen year old girl with a twisted imagination is given high amounts of caffeine and sticks of dynamite.” That had Twilight’s eyes widen a bit before she looked at everyone.

“We better hurry…”




Five minutes earlier…

Out of all the things that were likely to be expected in meeting with Discord for tea, the most surprising thing of them all was when Celestia heard a soft explosion from her room, causing her, Luna and Discord to stop what they were doing and investigate. However, just as they were outside their room, then heard a rather… young… and odd voice echo from inside.

“Why yes, Sir Reginald, this is a rather lovely party you decided to throw today… and we are honored to have Princess Fluffybutt be our guest of honor this afternoon!” That caused Celestia to glare at Discord immediately.

“What… did… you do?”

“Don’t look at me, Cae Cae. I don’t know who exactly is in there either-.”

“Oh DAMN ladies, I never knew that there were so many damsels in here. Especially since I do miss Mushy Snugglebites and Felicia Sexopants…” They heard the voice say again before hearing it sing a song. “I’m a little teapot, bloody and cut… Here is my handle, here is my butt.”

“... And whoever is in there must have a different form of twisted imagination…” Discord replied, causing both princesses to sigh. “Still though, whoever is in there seems… young. Like a teenaged filly.” As he spoke, Discord had a set of straws in one of his paws as he looked at them. “So are we going to draw straws to see who goes in there or-?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Celestia replied, using her magic to open the door and walk on in. All around the room were her old dolls from when she was only just a young filly. Centered around the room as the alicorn was looking at a young… alicorn filly that was in the room. She turned towards the princess and pouted a little.

“Well that was rather rude… trotting in here without an invitation really looks bad upon your character, lady.” The filly told her, turning around. It was then that Celestia could see the mask on the side of her face as the filly was looking around and then straightened up. “Who are you to intrude upon this royal gala, shawty?”

“I am Princess Celestia-.” For a moment, the filly’s eyes widened, shortly before turning to look at the back end of the alicorn.

“Well, I must say… for a Princess, you got the best badonkadonk I’ve ever seen!!”

A blush on Celestia’s face soon began to form as she looked back at the filly. How she knew this kind of language was beyond her, but whatever she said was causing Discord outside the room to be rolling around on the floor in a fit of laughter. Before she could even ask for the child’s name, the princess soon realized that the youngling… was touching her flank.

“Yep! BEST ONE EVA!!! Now then… this tea party is missing something… OOH! I know, crumpets!! I’m gonna eat so many god damn crumpets that it’ll be a crumpocalypse!” She turned, looking back at one of the dolls in the room… that almost looked like Discord with a Top Hat as she shot an evil glance at her. “Sir Reginald! How dare you call her a piece of hot ass! That is rather rude! You are banished from this party! BANISHED!!” In that moment was when the horn on the filly lit up as it threw the doll over the balcony and into the courtyard below… which soon exploded several seconds later. “Well… I guess we now have one spot open for our party… Would you care to join us, Princess?”

Celestia gulped, swallowing down any nervousness she had as she used her magic to close the door. “Suuuuuure.” In her mind though, she was saying something else. “Luna, write a letter to Twilight RIGHT NOW!!!”




Canterlot Train Station

“Holy crap, does this place remind me of Sanctuary or what!?” Gaige said as soon as her, the rest of the vault hunters and Twilight and her friends soon teleported just outside of Canterlot Station. 

“Minus that Sanctuary is a floating city, I don’t think you are wrong. I mean this place looks pretty big though.” Axton said as he looked at the whole city before him. 

“Well, from the looks of it, this place is on a mountainside, so it is hanging…” Maya replied. “So, any idea what we should do now?”

“Look through the city/Claptrap is bound to show up/Sooner or later.” Zer0 spoke in Haiku again as he decided to look around while Fluttershy followed him. Salvador took another direction with Pinkie Pie and Rarity and Applejack went with Maya and Krieg. Leaving Starlight, Twilight and Spike with Gaige and Axton.

“So who exactly are we looking for anyway… You mentioned this Tiny Tina, but never said who the other guy was.” Spike mentioned, causing Gaige and Axton to look at each other for a moment.

“That… is a bit difficult…” Gaige sighed, looking at Axton. “Would you like me to explain or should I let you do the talking?”

Axton sighed as he recounted all about Claptrap. “Claptrap is a robot and he is an interesting one at that. He helped us out in Southern Shelf when we first arrived on Pandora. You would be able to tell where he is at any point because he has a very annoying voice. He means well sometimes, but he ruins a lot of moments. But there is one thing to note about him, he is the last of the Claptrap units on Pandora, I even think the last one period.”

“Wow… that sounds sad.” Spike replied, looking around. “Wait… what’s that?”

“MINIONS!!!!” They heard the metallic voice cheer out. “You came to save me from this technicolor hellhole!!! Claptrap, your metaphorical rescue ship has flown in!!!”

Axton didn’t even need to look to where the voice came from before his hoof met his face… hard. “Oh god no.”

“Who was that-?” Spike asked, before seeing the robot appear out of nowhere. “GAH!!”

“Haha!! Looks like I still have the element of surprise… Minions, what did they do to you? Did they transform you into one of them as a form of mental torture? OH THE HUMANITY!!! Well, at least I, your wise leader, will help you not get brainwashed by these technicolor jerkwads… including the one with the rainbow mane that can somehow fly.” The robot said out loud… just as Twilight looked back at Axton.

“Is this normal?”

“Unfortunately, yes it is.” Axton simply said as he lowers his hoof and looks at Claptrap. “Claptrap we aren’t brainwashed, we don’t even know why we look like this in the first place.” 

“A likely story!! It must have to do with that one filly that keeps throwing dolls off of the balcony and making them explode… Oddly enough, she sounds like Tiny Tina.” The robot said. “Now, if you don’t mind me, I’m going to go find a place to hide so I won’t get thrashed to death by the rainbow maned monster!” With that, Claptrap hurried out of the area as Axton and Gaige looked back at Starlight, Twilight and Spike.

“Rainbow maned monster…?”

“That must be Rainbow Dash… she’s a pegasus who is very loyal… and has a lot of ego.” Starlight commented.

“Oh so like a female Axton?” Gaige asked.

Axton then smacked Gaige upside the head with his hoof. “I know what you are trying to say, and I do not have that much ego.” 

“Didn’t you once originally say that glory in the military was why you got on Pandora in the first place?” Gaige soon questioned as the five of them soon came across the entrance to Celestia’s chambers after going through the door of the castle. That was when she sniffed the air… and smelled something familiar. “Hey, is it just me… or am I smelling fresh crumpets?”

Axton then sniffed the air as well. “You’re right about that, and that can only mean one thing.” That was when they heard one last thing that confirmed their suspicions.

“You are CORDIALLY INVITED, BITCH!!”

> Chapter 4: Chaos in Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just moments after stepping through the doorway to the hall of elements, the abrupt outburst from across the hall caused both Gaige and Axton to sigh to themselves, while startling everypony else that was either trotting through the hallway or standing guard. “W-who was that?” Twilight stuttered as she and Starlight looked back at the two vault hunters.

“That… would be Tiny Tina… Piece of advice… don’t do any sudden movements around her,” Gaige told them. “Just… trust me on this one… Right Axton?”

“Yeah, she can be a bit… uh odd around those she doesn’t know.”

“And those she does know?” Spike then asked, gulping a little to himself. Before either of the vault hunters could ask, they turned around at the sound of hooves and hearing an all too familiar voice once again.

“Oh my god… you guys are here too? BEST DAY EVAAAAA!!!” That was followed by the alicorn filly that Tiny Tina was tackling Axton to the ground. “I’m so glad you're here, huggabutt!!”

Axton sighed a little and chuckles at Tina’s action. “Good to see you as well Tina.” 

Before either of the ponies or the dragon could react to what was going on, Tina catapulted herself towards Gaige and did the same thing. “You’re here too, girl? Woohoo!!! This is awesome! Even more awesome than that sun pony with the best badonkadonk on the entire planet!!”

That… caused all the ponies in the room to look towards them in confusion. But it had Twilight realize something. “Wait… are you talking about… Princess Celestia?”

“She called herself that, but I was like PFFFT!! Now if only this place had somepony that looked like Butt Stallion…” Just in that present moment, Rarity soon walked into the hall of elements alongside Applejack, Maya, and Krieg. “FOUND HER!!!”

“GAAH!!” Rarity didn’t even have enough time to react as Tina tackled the unicorn to the ground. Causing Gaige to sigh before hearing Spike ask Axton something.

“Should I even ask who she means by… Butt Stallion?”

“Two words: Diamond Horse.”

“Oh like in the Crystal Empire with the Crystal Ponies?” Spike then asked, causing Axton and Gaige to both be surprised by that. 

“Such a thing exists?” Gaige asked… shortly before Salvador walked in with Pinkie and Fluttershy as Salvador saw Tina on the ground.

“Tina!”

“SALLY!!!”

“Did she just call Salvador… Sally?” Twilight questioned… shortly before turning around to see Princess Celestia, her sister Luna and Discord come towards them. “Oh goodness, I’m glad to see you princess.”

“I’m glad to see you too… Though, I’m surprised by a lot of the new ponies in the room…” She mentioned, motioning towards Gaige, Axton, the rest of the vault hunters… and the tiny robot that just rolled into the room. “Who-?”

“AHA!! I found you! You’re the one that turned my minions into what they are right now!!” Claptrap boasted. “What’s next? Start a conversion bureau and come to Pandora next-!!!”

“Shut UP CLAPTRAP!!!” Gaige snapped. “Don’t MAKE me let Deathtrap chase you around the entire city!”

“Oh god please don’t! That’s worse than the Rainbow maned monster that I called a midget-.” Claptrap spoke until he turned to the door. “AH! It’s her!!”

“Found you, you annoying trash can!!”

“And now Rainbow’s here… Fantastic.” Twilight groaned as she looked at everyone. “Can everyone just calm down-?” However, when the question was asking, nopony actually heard her. They were all too focused on what else was going on that what the Alicorn was trying to say went right over their heads… until…

“EVERYONE SHUT THE F**K UP!!!!!!!” The voice made everyone immediately become quiet as they all turned to Gaige… or more specifically, her ECHO. “DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S RUDE TO IGNORE SOMEONE LIKE THAT?!! SHOW HER SOME RESPECT!!!”

“Uh… Wow uh… Thanks Mr. Torgue… for that…”

“YOU ARE WELCOME!!!” Celestia herself was baffled by the loud and obnoxious voice while Luna believed that it was somepony that could be able to compare to that of the Royal Canterlot Voice. When Twilight turned around, she only had one thing to say.

“It’s a LOT to explain…”



One long ass explanation later…

“So let me get this straight… All of you are from another world called Pandora… where most of you are Vault Hunters and after talking to some… stranger about where one of these vaults would be… you ended up here.”

“You got it Shawty!” Tina replied. “Well, that’s how my homies came here, I’m not so sure what kind of buttcrap happened that had me end up here…”

“Right… Well, if that’s the case, then I believe it might be best to leave the Vault Hunters and Ms. Tina in your care for now, Twilight.” The Princess replied.

“Don’t forget about me! I’m right here minions!!”

“And Claptrot…”

“It’s CLAPTRAP!!! Respect the name RESPECT IT!!” Claptrap snapped before trying to break down into a beatbox session before Gaige mentioned something.

“Hey Axton, you know what I just realized… We still needed to show that weapons’ demonstration to Twilight.”

“Oh yeah thats right. Hey um Celestia right?” Axton spoke, catching the princesses attention.

“That is my name, yes. Is there something you would like to ask me, Mr. Axton?” The Alicorn replied, following up with a question of her own for the Commando to respond to.

“First off, please don’t call me Mister, makes me feel older than I really am. Also do you have some sort of firing range nearby that we can use?”

“There’s one by the guards quarters. Twilight knows the way since her brother was a member of the royal guard before he went with Princess Cadence to the crystal empire.” She answered her question. “You are free to use the facilities-.”

“WOOHOO!! TIME TO BLOW SOME SH*T UP!!!” Torgue yelled from Gaige’s ECHO.

“That guy just loves explosions doesn’t he?” the pegasus named Rainbow Dash asked as she trotted alongside Gaige.

“YOU KNOW IT!! MY FAVORITE COLOR IS EXPLOSIONS!!!” He yelled again, causing Gaige to roll her eyes as the group went over to the range. From there, the vault hunters prepared a demonstration for them by setting up a series of targets and some guns to go along with each target based on three factors. The gun type, the manufacturer of the weapon, and also elemental varieties as well. 

“Now before we begin this gun show for everyone, does anyone have any questions?” Axton asked. Which lead to a hoof being raised by Twilight in response.

“Uh… What exactly are you going to show us first? I know that you said that these weapons are similar to Pinkie’s party cannon, but different… but I’m beginning to think you have something planned out, right?”

“Something like that…” Gaige replied. “For this, we broke it down into three categories. Weapon types, weapon variations based on the brand and lastly, elemental weapons. And yes Torgue, before you even ask, it’ll include explosive weapons.”

“THANK YOU!!”

“Now… first up, we got pistols. I’ll let Salvador have a crack at this one first.” Gaige said as she trotted out of the way. The target on the range for Salvador to hit was a glass jar that was filled up with fruit punch. Salvador drew out one of the revolver pistols he had called “The Maggie” as he took aim and pulled the trigger, causing the container to shatter and for the fluids inside to spill out onto the range.

“These guys are small, but can pack a lethal punch if you know how to use it right. However, they can’t hit targets that are very far away. That’s where our next weapon does the trick, the sniper rifle.” With that said, Zer0 then went up to the range as Salvador stepped aside. The assassin composed himself as he took up the sniper rifle named “Lyuda” as he aimed farther down range… the target in particular being a pear at the other end of the range which was way farther away than Salvador’s target.

“Why did you put a pear there?” Twilight asked Gaige.

“Because Applejack said to not shoot at any apples.” Gaige told her. Zer0 ignored the side chatter as he remained calm and focused. Pulling the trigger as the shot zoomed down range and caused the pear to explode everywhere on the range.

“Holy hay…” Applejack said to herself. Speechless by the presentation of raw power from one shot.

“Most of the time though, we can’t exactly protect ourselves with just one shot. Instead, we would need more than one. We have two options for that. The first is a SMG, or sub machine gun, and the second is an assault rifle. Maya, I’ll have you take one and I’ll take the other.”

“Sure thing.” She replied, taking up the HellFire SMG while Gaige herself took up the assault rifle that was named “Veruc” that she acquired from surviving a truxican standoff between a bandit named Mobley. Maya went first, shooting a few shots that took the piece of paper that was the target and set it… and the stack of hay she had on fire while Gaige opened fired on another glass container that was set up farther down range.

“What the-?! How the hay can that weapon set things on fire!?” Rainbow Dash blurted out, looking at the two of them.

“Certain weapons have elemental variations. But you’ll need to be patient with that one… Lastly, we have two weapons left… Rocket launchers and shotguns… Axton, wanna demonstrate your Norfleet?” Gaige asked.

“With Pleasure.” Axton then got up and trotted over to the range and got out the Norfleet. In order to use he had to sit down to use it. He then aimed at three wooden dummies. Each one with a paper sign on the front. One said “Cheapskate”, another said “Dumbass” and the last one had the words “Loot Ninja” on the front of it.

“Fire away when ready.” Gaige smirked, having a feeling that Axton was going to try something different.

Axton simply rolled his eyes as he put the launcher on his back and calmly walks up to the dummies. He then sits down in front of them and aims at the ground, getting ready to fire. 

“Uh… What is he doing?” Rarity asked.

“I had a feeling he would do this… He was always one for glory anyways.” Maya sighed, looking back at the Commando. “He does have the Sham on, so he’ll be alright.”

Axton then fired away and he is soon covered in a huge purple cloud. A few seconds go by and Axton calmly walks out with a huge grin on his face. “Ah I needed that, been too long since I last blew something up. Just hate getting slagged though.” As he is walking back he has a faint purple glow to him as he sits down next to the others. 

“I hear ya. Tastes like piss and nachos… and not in a good way.” Gaige sighed. “Lastly, we have shotguns. Krieg, care to do the honors?”

All that Krieg did was laugh like a maniac as he picked up the weapon that was named “Sledge’s Shotgun” and began to open fire on targets down range. “I LOOKED INTO THE HEART OF DARKNESS AND ATE IT ALL!!!” By the time he was done… his target was covered in bullet holes and gunpowder. Leaving everypony startled… but making one pony pretty impressed.

“Where can I get one of those?” Rainbow asked.

“NOT FOR SALE!!!” Krieg blurted out, startling her.

“Okay… now that we got that covered… We got two more things left to go over. But does anypony have any other questions?” Nopony responded to Gaige afterwards. “Alright, you have seen all the weapon types in action, but there's one other catch to this… Different guns have different manufacturers. For example, Salvador’s pistol was made by Jakobs, which is a weapons corporation that specializes in traditional rapid fire weapons that would make you think of something from a western movie. Axton’s and Maya’s guns were demonstrating Maliwan based elemental weapons, Zer0’s rifle was made by Vladof, my assault rifle was made by the DAHL corporation… which were the same guys that Axton served until they wanted him dead…”

“They couldn’t handle my awesomeness.”

“More like disobeying orders to get personal glory.” Maya smirked in response to the Commando’s cocky statement.

“Eh, besides if it weren’t for Sarah giving me advice, I wouldn’t be here talking with all of you.”

“Fair point,” Gaige pointed out. “Moving on… Krieg was using a Bandit crafted gun…”

“Wait, a bandit gun? How does that make sense?” Twilight asked. “I was lead under the impression that these bandits would loot and scavenge almost anything.”

“Well, there are some cases where Bandits have crafted their own weapons,” Maya responded to Twilight’s question. “They got a high ammunition count, but a lot of their other features don’t really make up for it.”

“What Maya said… That means we got two more left. First, Tediore. They’re like most other weapons, but they have an active reload system… Let me demonstrate.” With that, the Mechromancer drew out her Plasma Caster SMG and began to open fire. When the clip was empty, she threw it down range, only for another gun to appear in her hands and for the one she threw to explode like a grenade.

“Woah nelly… what just happened?” Applejack asked.

“Tediore’s active reload system allows for you to instantly have your weapon reloaded without having to fumble with ammunition clips, senorita.” Salvador replied. “Now there’s only one more left-.”

“AND THAT’S TORGUE, MOTHERF**KERS!!! OH SORRY, I GET EXCITED TOO EASILY SOMETIMES!” Mr. Torgue shouted from Gaige’s ECHO device.

“Uh… Just out of curiosity… why do we hear the… well… beeping.” Fluttershy nervously asked while Tiny Tina sat next to her.

“OH SO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F**KING TIME!!”

“And here we go…” Axton simply said, rolling his eyes in response. 

“APPARENTLY, I HAVE A HABIT OF CURSING TOO MUCH! SO THE TORGUE CORPORATION SHAREHOLDERS PLACED A DIGITAL CENSOR IN MY VOICEBOX!! SO I CAN’T SAY THINGS LIKE S**T, C**K, OR P***Y F****** D**KBALLS!!! THAT’S OVER HALF MY VOCABULARY!! AND I’M JUST AS SUPER DUPER P**SED AT THAT AS I AM ABOUT F**KING LAZER GUNS!!!”

“What’s wrong about lazer guns?” Rainbow asked.

“THEY’RE MADE OF LIGHT!! WHICH DOESN’T EXPLODE!!!! AND I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SHOW IN ALL THOSE CHEESY GODDAMN SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES, LAZER GUNS F**KING SUCK!!! …… SO WHERE WERE WE BEFORE THAT?!”

“I believe that Axton was going to demonstrate one of your TORGUE weapons…” Gaige replied. “As with the name… and by what you guys already know about Mr. Torgue… TORGUE weapons fire explosive rounds. As Axton will now demonstrate.”

Axton then swapped out the Norfleet on his back for his personal shotgun, The Swordplosion. He cocks it as he pulls it out and simply asks “Ever seen a sword that explodes into smaller swords that explode?” He then fires and three swords come flying out from the barrel towards some dummies and explode on impact, and nine more swords come from the explosion and rain down on them, and explode once again.  

“Oh my!! That looked super duper amazing!! That… whatever it’s called…” Pinkie cheerfully replied.

“IT’S A SWORDSPLOSION!!!!”

“Perfect! That SWORDSPLOSION was amazing!!” Pinkie replied.

“I LIKE THIS BUBBLEGUM PONY!! SHE GETS ME!!!” Mr. Torgue shouted out loud. “TINA, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

“Hmm… that depends… does she like tea parties?” Tina asked, causing Pinkie to look at her with eager eyes.

“Did somepony say PARTY!!!!?!?!”

“Yup, she’s PERFECT!!”

“O…… kay.” Gaige commented as she looked at the last set of weapons to demonstrate. “Axton, Maya, wanna help me with this last setup for elemental weapons?”

“Sure.” Both of them replied as Maya took up a DAHL pistol that Gaige took out of her inventory named “Hornet” as the Mechromancer turned to the group.

“Now, earlier in the demonstration, you already saw two other elemental variations. Incendiary and Slag. Incendiary sets any of your targets on fire while Slag makes any other weapons that don’t apply slag on targets hurt a LOT more. The final two elements to demonstrate here are both Shock and Corrosive.” Thinking to herself for a second, Gaige set up two targets. One being a set of armor for Maya… and another one being an active shield booster. “Now, you might recall from our talk with the princesses that we use a special form of shields to protect ourselves. Well, some bandits do the same thing, so shock weapons can help take away that shield. Like so.”

That last statement was the perfect chance for Axton to demonstrate using the shock weapon that he had chosen for this. The commando nodded his head at Gaige as he pulls out the “Sand Hawk” SMG and fires at the target. When the bullets hits the target, as they fly in a bird shape and act like they are flapping their wings, and the target is soon getting electrified in a blue shock. 

“Now, for Corrosive, they can poison targets… but also shred through armor like cotton candy.” That served as a cue for Maya, who aimed down the sight of the gun as it fired off a few six shot bursts as the corrosive bullets tore through the armor set. “And with it, that’s the demonstration.”

“Well… that was very… eye opening.” Twilight replied, still trying to process everything she had already seen.

“Well, we only showed a very, very tiny amount of weapons that are out there, but this was just so we can get the point across with our weapons. And before you ask, there are over eighty seven bazillion guns. And Gaige there is one more weapons corporation, even though we hate them they do have some decent weapons, Hyperion.” The commando told Twilight.  Causing her eyes to twitch in response. 

“E-eighty S-s-seven… B-bazillion!?!” Twilight stuttered, before passing out because of what Axton said.

“Great job Axton… Now it’s your job to carry the princess back onto the train… And for the record, besides them having good weapons, Hyperion were a bunch of jackasses.” Gaige sighed, smirking a little at the last part.

“Hey, why is it my job to do that?”

“Because you were the one that made her faint.” Spike pointed out, along with Starlight nodding her head in agreement.

“And I’m sticking with the Jury on this one Axton,” The Mechromancer told him as she began to trot out with everyone else. “Let’s go back to Ponyville and see how we can get ourselves settled in.”

“Fine.” Axton then just grumbles as he puts Twilight on his back. Just as they were about to leave the range though, they heard a faint clapping sound from behind them as they turned to see someone that was with the princesses earlier that day.

“Bravo on your demonstration, I must say… bravo-.” Before the spirit of chaos couldn’t even finish his sentence, all the vault hunters had their weapons drawn and had enough firepower to send Discord to the moon. Just as Mr. Torgue said something that woke up the alicorn that was on Axton’s back.

“IS IT JUST ME, OR DID THIS GUY SOMEHOW ALREADY BETRAY THE F**K OUT OF YOU!?!!”

“You’re damn right he did!!!” Gaige snarled, aiming her Unkempt Harold at the Draconequus.

“W-what’s going on?” Twilight stuttered

“What the hay is all this for!?” Applejack demanded.

“This son of a bitch is the reason why we got sent here in the freaking first place!!” Maya snapped back.

“You better have a very good explanation of what you are doing here right now, Because I am just itching to to shoot something alive, and you just happen to be the perfect target for my turrets.”

“Oh sure, shoot a god of chaos… How’s that going to turn out for you?” Discord questioned, snapping a talon as their weapons were magnetized and immediately stuck to the ceiling. “Besides, I don’t do things without a reason… and I wasn’t lying when I told you about a vault.”

Gaige, upon hearing this, stepped forward in front of Axton and held a hoof out. “Continue…”

“Surely all of you remember this picture right?” Discord asked, conjuring the same photograph that he had shown previously as Twilight now trotted over to where her friends were after getting off Axton’s back. “Well, this is the entrance to the vault that’s located in a very harsh environment in Equestria that is called the Badlands… However, you can’t just go up to it, say “presto” and it’ll magically open. It doesn’t work like that… But I believe that you may know what it needs.” With that, only one pony responded with just two simple words… and that pony was Zer0.

“A key.”

“Exactly… to forge the key, there are six parts you’ll need to find. Only thing though is I don’t know where they are. My only guess is that they’re in six important locations throughout Equestria.” Discord replied. “So, I brought you here because I thought you six would be… experts when it comes to cracking open a vault and in exchange, anything you do find in there would be yours to keep.” Gaige took a moment to process everything, but then sighed.

“Hmm… it sounds legit… what do you think though Applejack?” All of the vault hunters along with Claptrap and Tiny Tina turned towards the farm pony as she was scratching her chin.

“Ah’m not one for fully trusting Discord… but he is telling the truth, that’s for dang certain.” She replied.

“If that’s the case, let’s head back to Twilight’s castle and figure out what to do from there…” Maya suggested. “Who knows how long we’ll be able to fight since we’re cut off from Marcus and the others-.”

“ACTUALLY…” Mr. Torgue interjected. “I MIGHT JUST HAVE A SOLUTION TO THAT!!! GET OVER BACK TO THAT ONE TOWN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT AND I’LL SEND YOU GUYS A PRESENT!!” That had everyone looking at one another for a moment before Rainbow Dash then asked something.

“Does it involve explosions?”

“ANYTHING I DO OR SEND ALWAYS INVOLVES EXPLOSIONS!!!! THAT AND SICK ASS GUITAR SOLO’S!!!”

“Then we better get over there before that present drops in the middle of Ponyville.” The pegasus suggested as she dashed off towards the train station with everypony else following her as they got onboard the next train to Ponyville.

Everyone… except Claptrap. “WAIT MINIONS!!! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!! I DON’T WANT TO DIE AT THE HANDS OF A PRINCESS OVERLORD!!!”

> Chapter 5: Collateral Damage
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the train ride from Canterlot, the vault hunters were planning on figuring out where to stay while they searched for the vault that Discord told them about. However, in this current moment in time, one vault hunter wasn’t so particularly interested in that conversation. In fact, right now, Gaige was with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and waiting for Mr. Torgue’s “present” to drop down at any moment. He said that he would take some time for it to get over to where they were, but a majority of the time was gobbled up with the train ride back as he tried to find a way to make the wait shorter.

While waiting though, Gaige was able to learn a bit about the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Like who their friends were, siblings, hobbies and also the whole idea behind the “Cutie Mark Crusaders” in the first place. Including going as far as sharing about when the griffon named Gabby wanted their help in getting a cutie mark for her. A task that seemed next to impossible to achieve. But just as they were about to describe how they helped her… “HEY VAULT HUNTER, I GOT A UPDATE FOR YOU!!”

“Mr. Torgue, you do realize that you’re not addressing all of us right now. You can call me by my name.” The Mechromancer pointed out.

“IT’S EASIER FOR ME TO REMEMBER THIS WAY!! ANYWAYS, I WAS ABLE TO FIND A CONVENIENT SHORTCUT TO CUT DOWN YOUR WAIT TIME. IT SHOULD BE ARRIVING SOON!” Mr. Torgue informed the mechromancer as he took a breath. “HOW’S THAT FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE-!?”

“Attention Trespasser,” A new voice that sounded all too familiar to the vault hunter announced as her ears perked up. “You are now trespassing through Hyperion Corporation Aerospace. Stop your ship now or we will send Loader Bots to seize your vessel and cargo.”

“OH F**K!!! NO ONE TOLD ME THAT THIS SHORTCUT WENT THROUGH THAT!!! THAT’S THE LAST F**KING TIME THAT I RELY ON THE ECHO.NET FOR DIRECTIONS!!!” Mr. Torgue shouted. “VAULT HUNTER, ONCE THIS SHIP LANDS, IT NEEDS TIME TO BE CALIBRATED TO THE ECHONET. DEFEND THAT VESSEL AT ALL COSTS!!!”

“Girls…” Gaige said as she looked at the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Run to Twilight’s castle and find Axton and the others…”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle asked, just as Gaige brought out a certain shotgun that she kept in her inventory for special occasions.

“Things are about to get hairy… and I can’t do this alone.” She told them, priming the weapon. “Now hurry!!” All the girls soon bolted from the scene as Torgue’s vessel crashed in an open clearing nearby. That was soon followed by several loader bots crashing down in the area as Gaige summoned deathtrap.

“It’s robot fightin time!!”




“Um, not that I don’t appreciate that… but why exactly did Rarity offer me to stay at her place when it would make more sense to stay here in the castle. I mean it is only you, Spike, and Starlight here anyway.” Axton asked. He was just told that the seamstress had offered the commando a place to stay with her and… was kind of puzzled as to why.

“Well, Maya had already asked if she could stay with me, Tina decided to stay with Pinkie and Salvador, Zer0 is with Fluttershy and Krieg… well… I’m not sure where he is, but I believe he is in good hooves. Not only that, but she personally told me to tell you…” Twilight replied, trying to explain to her. “Though, on the subject of staying, Spike did vouch for Gaige to stay here with us… plus he pointed out that it would be completely hard for you to stay in Cloudsdale without having a cloudwalking spell cast on you.”

“Alright, but then why didn’t she just ask me herself instead of making you ask me? I mean that makes more sense that way.”

“She wanted me to pass it on to you since she had to get to work on a couple of dresses some clients of hers commissioned-.” The princess replied, just as they all heard the sounds of three sets of hooves gallop into the room. “What the?”

Axton turned to see the girls he remembered from the first time he was on the train to Ponyville, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, galloping in like they were trying to run from something. All three of them were panting and gasping for air as they arrived in the middle of the room where they were. 

“So what has you three running like you are getting chased by a rabid skag?” 

“G-gaige…” Sweetie Belle panted, trying to catch her breath… “H-help…” For a moment, Axton looked back at Twilight with a raised eyebrow before hearing Scootaloo catch her breath and speak.

“Gaige t-told us to find you… She needs help…” Scootaloo spoke up. Axton wanted to hear some more from the filly. But it was what they heard next on his ECHO device that really caught his attention… that and the sound of shotgun fire.

“I spy a BADASS!!!”

“Oh sh*t, looks like something tagged along for the ride here.” Axton commented as he ran outside. Watching as several different loader bots crashed down… including a HUGE one with cannons where the arms would be. It was labeled as “Super Badass Loader” on Axton’s ECHO and the commotion soon caught some attention.

“Axton, what the hell is going on?” He heard Maya ask him as she raced out to where he was.

“Some Loaders decided to tag along for the ride with Torgue's present.” Axton told her.

“Well with Salvador distracted, Zer0 at Fluttershy’s and Krieg at… wherever the hell he is-.” Just in that moment, the two of them watched the psycho that they were just talking about race past them and towards the carnage… while also getting bigger in size.

“Get out, get out, GET OUT!!!!!”

“Aw crap…” Maya cursed.

“W-what’s happening with Krieg?” Starlight asked, worried about what was going on and looking at Axton and Maya.

“Three words… Release the Beast… and also another reason why we should get over there and you need to find shelter.” Maya said, pulling out her HellFire SMG and racing over to where Gaige was. “Come on Axton, you’ve been wanting to blow stuff up all day and now’s your chance!!”

“You’re damn right I’m coming with, I am not missing out on this!” He said as he pulls out the Swordplosion and ran after the psycho and the siren.



Right now in the present moment, Gaige was already having to deal with constant waves of loaders coming at her from all directions and right now, she had been wondering where the hell was her backup. She had Deathtrap, which was obvious, but the Mechromancer was worried if the Cutie Mark Crusaders were able to tell Axton what was happening. But just as a super badass loader dropped several meters away and she was going to aim at it with the Hyperion Shotgun she had called the “Conference Call”... something happened.

On your right. Behind you…

“What the-?” The Mechromancer thought to herself, until having to barrel out of the way as Krieg soon came barreling in in his Badass psycho form. Which was kind of ironic because it reminded her of the sacrifice table at Dragon Keep… and one of the sayings it said.

A badass to fight a badass!

“Gaige!!” The Mechromancer heard as she saw Maya began to open fire and Axton deploying his Sabre Turrets.

“About time you guys showed up. Thanks for warning me about Krieg.” She complimented, only causing Maya to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“What warning?” That confused Gaige in that moment, because she honestly thought that Maya was somehow using her Siren powers to communicate telepathically… but that wasn’t their highest priority.

“Alright, help me fight these guys off. Mr. Torgue says that this gift of his needs time in order to connect to the Echo.net and we need to defend it until it’s up.” She informed them. “Where are we at, Torgue?!”

“FORTY FIVE PERCENT COMPLETE!!!”

“Well isn’t this just grand, but we need to make sure that no Loaders decide to get trigger happy and aim for the town.” Axton said as he fires away at the Loaders, quickly killing one after another that aren’t in the way of Krieg. “YOU get a bullet, and YOU get a bullet, EVERYBODY GETS A BULLET HAHAHAHAHA!!” While that was happening, Maya and Gaige focused any of the stray loaders that weren’t killed by Krieg and Axton. The more they killed, the higher in percentage that the present was in connecting to the Echo.net. But just as things were clearing up… the four vault hunters heard something… else.

“Resistance still detected… Launching Saturn v2.0.”

“Oh you have got to be kidding me…” Gaige said, just as the giant loader landed… and stood tall amongst all four of them.

“HOLY S**T!! THAT IS ONE BIG ASS ROBOT!!!”

“You’re NOT HELPING, TORGUE!!!”

“I WANNA KNOW WHY THE F*CK THE LOADERS CAME HERE IN THE FIRST F*CKING PLACE!!” Axton yelled.

“BLAME THE ECHONET!! I ASKED IT FOR DIRECTIONS AND THE SHORTCUT IT GAVE ME LEAD TO THIS!!!” Mr. Torgue shouted. “HOLD OUT A LITTLE BIT LONGER! WHEN THIS IS DONE LOADING, IT’LL SEND OUT AN EMP BURST THAT SHOULD DISABLE IT!”

“Uhh… wouldn’t that also disable our equipment?!” Gaige questioned.

“NOPE!! IT ONLY WORKS ON HYPERION BASED TECH!! HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK WE WERE ABLE TO REPROGRAM ALL THE LOADER BOTS WE TOOK FROM HYPERION FOR THE CAMPAIGN OF CARNAGE!? SCIENCE, MOTHERF**KERS!!!” Mr. Torgue shouted, just as the loader bot locked onto their location.

“Oh sh-!!” Before anyone could be able to do anything, a barrage of missiles were fired on their location. Gaige closed her eyes, thinking that somehow she and the others will get thrown backwards in the blast… but when she opened them… she not only found her and her allies unharmed… but she found themselves inside of a dome shield.

“Okay, did Axton’s turret just protect us or something?” Gaige asked, confused by what was happening.

“Hey Gaige, it’s not my turret. It’s coming from you, because your horn is glowing right now.” Axton answered Gaige’s question. 

“It is?” She asked, looking up to see the magic glowing from it. “Holy… sh*t…” Shaking her head for a moment, she looked back at the others and then said something. “Nevermind that, let’s hold this guy off until we get word from Torgue on when this thing is synced with the Echo.net!”

“TURN IT INTO SCRAP METAL!!!”

“What Krieg said…” Gaige replied, using her arm to call on Deathtrap again as she dismissed the barrier. “Let’s have some fun!!”

“Time to start chewing them up!” Axton yelled out as he tosses out his turrets once again. The amount of gunfire and bullets towards the oversized loader bot did damage it. But the point of the fight was not to destroy the loader, but to stall it. Still though, it did allow for the vault hunters to use any tactics necessary to stall Saturn. Even if that meant destroying a few of the weapons that it would use to try and obliterate them.

“KEEP IT UP!! IT’S ALMOST DONE!! JUST NEED THIRTY MORE SECONDS!!!” Mr. Torgue updated them as Axton and Gaige shot off the turrets that were on it’s legs and loader arms. Maya laid down a suppressing barrage from her SMG while Krieg… well, he kept being unpredictable. This lasted for a while until they felt something flow past them and caused the loader bot a few moments to fall over… before exploding. “MEEEEEDLYMEEEEEDLYMOWW!! AND DONE!!! MY PRESENT FOR YOU GUYS SHOULD BE COMPLETELY OPERATIONAL AND THE LOADER BOTS SHOULD BE DEAD. BEST BONUS EVER!!!!”

“Uh… Not to sound ungrateful Mr. Torgue…” Gaige spoke up. “But what does this… contraption do?”

“SIMPLE!! IT’S A SUPPLY DROP POD. SINCE IT HAS ACCESS TO THE ECHONET, YOU CAN BE ABLE TO ACCESS SERVICES LIKE DR. ZED’S PORTABLE CLINIC, MARCUS’S MUNITIONS AND GUNS STORE AND ALSO THE QUICK CHANGE MACHINE. I EVEN MADE IT TO WHERE YOU CAN STORE ANY WEAPONS THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP, BUT NOT HAVE SPACE IN YOUR INVENTORY. ISN’T THAT F**KING AWESOME!?!”

“Gotta admit that, it is pretty handy Mr.Torgue. At least we know we won’t run out of ammo now.”

“YEP!! OH AND BY THE WAY, THAT LAST LOADER BOT DROPPED SOME GEAR!!” Mr. Torgue shouted as Gaige turned around to see what it was.

“Holy sh*t… Guys, that bot dropped an Invader!” The Mechromancer turned to the others as she pulled it out of the wreckage. “I might not be one for sniper rifles, but this may be handy for anyone that wants it.”

“Well does it have any elemental attunements or no?” Axton questioned shortly afterwards.

“Let me see the stats… Longitudinal Invader… 6% recoil reduction… 8.9x weapon zoom… Incendiary attunement. Perfect for anyone interested in burning the crap out of anything or just roasting barbecue.” Gaige chuckled as she handed it off to Axton to look for himself.

“Hmm, not bad but I already have the Volcano so I don’t need it for myself.” 

“What about Zer0? He may want to look into it if he wants to try something other than the Lyuda he carries.” The Mechromancer suggested. “And speaking of him… He’s coming here with Salvador and the girls-.”

“NEW TOYS!!!” They heard the Gunzerker shout as he raced over to them. Almost leaving every other pony in a cloud of dust as he looked at the scavenged loot and money that was littered along the plains like trash. All while Twilight placed a hoof to her face and sighed.

“Should I even ask what happened?” She asked, looking at the graveyard of dead robots and seeing Salvador and Krieg tear through them like maniacs to try and find any loot for them to pick up.

“This is perfectly normal actually, well for us anyway.” Axton replied to Twilight with a smirk. All while Zer0 went up and inspected the sniper rifle that Gaige was holding.

“Powerful indeed/A perfect weapon to add/to my arsenal.” He commented, adding it to his inventory. Other then than, mostly everything was quiet… until one of the ponies decided to speak up about Torgue’s… Supply drop.

“Okay, so is anypony actually going to ask what the heck is this thing?” Rainbow asked while she was sitting on top of it. Something that wasn’t exactly the best idea in that moment… especially when Mr. Torgue’s face caused her to fall forward onto Applejack in the process.

“OH COME ON!!! DO I SERIOUSLY NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW IT WORKS AGAIN!? I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME EXPLAINING IT THE LAST TIME!!!!”

“Calm down, I got this,” Gaige then spoke up, looking back at the others. “Normally on Pandora, we are able to acquire ammunition, guns and medicine through two methods. One is opening any possible box in sight, which is time wasting… the other is going to a series of vending machines that allow us to stock up on supplies for a small fee. Mr. Torgue sent us a supply drop pod that works like the vending machines back on Pandora so we don’t need to run out of bullets and ammo anytime soon.”

“THANK YOU!!!”

“You’re welcome.” Gaige replied. “Only problem was that the shortcut that Mr. Torgue was given attracted some loader bots to the cargo and we needed to defend it a little… which explains all the carnage around here.”

“I… see…” The alicorn explained. “That does seem very… useful. But how exactly aren’t we suppose to clean them up? You can’t just throw them away like paper-.”

“Or eat them like bodies!!!” That had everypony turn to Salvador as he was confused as to why they were looking at him with terrified looks on his face. “What? Was it something I said?”

“Maybe we should go back to the castle first… Hey, Mr. Torgue, can your supply drop be moved?”

“WHY OF COURSE!! JUST PRESS THE TORGUE LOGO AT THE SIDE OF IT TO HAVE IT COMPRESS TO IT’S “CARGO MODE”! PRESS IT AGAIN TO HAVE IT REACTIVATE!”

“Thanks for the help.” The Mechromancer commented.

“YOU ARE WELCOME, YOU BADASS MOTHERF**KERS!!!!”



Meanwhile in Sanctuary… 

The Siren named Lilith once again sighed to herself from her current position inside the command center of the Crimson Raiders. Frustrated yes… but also a bit concerned. Downstairs, her friend Brick was practicing his punching by beating the ever living crap out of a punching bag on the bottom floor of the command center while out on the balcony, Mordecai was tending to his new pet bird, Talon. After giving his pet a treat, the former vault hunter walked into the room, noticing Lilith as she scanned not only the digital map board that was in the center of the room, but paying attention to her ECHO device.

“You okay there, Lil?” He asked, concerned. “You look like something’s bothering you.” Now that someone had noticed, the Siren couldn’t just brush it off anymore like she normally would.

“Yeah, it’s more likely something’s… well, not normal.” Lilith responded.

“Since when is anything not normal on Pandora?” Mordecai pointed out to her. “Since the first vault was opened, barely anything on this planet is normal now.”

“Touche’.” The siren replied. “But what I mean is something different… I’ve been trying to get a hold of Tiny Tina and see how she’s doing and… every time I tried, I’ve had to leave a message.”

Now that the hunter knew what was on her mind, he could speak his peace now. “Yeah… that is definitely not normal… even for Tina. She’s rather quick to answer her ECHO anytime we needed her help for something… How long has this been going on?”

“Well, that’s the thing… She hasn’t contacted to us since Gaige, Axton and the others went looking for that vault that the mystery guy at Moxxi’s was talking about… Not to mention that we’ve been hearing less of Claptrap since then too…” Lilith answered Mordecai’s question as she looked back at him. “And that was only a couple of days ago.”

“You don’t think something happened to them now… do you?” Mordecai questioned as he tossed his knife in the air as a way to make sure that he still had his reflexes.

“It’s hard to say…” The siren simply answered, but before they could continue on with their conversation, they could hear someone else shouting from the bottom floor.

“EUREKA!!!”

“Well, looks like Tannis has been busy,” Lilith sighed. “And I thought that having her construct digistruct peak would have her be occupied for some time while we sort things out here.”

“Well, whatever she found out must be somehow important… if not, she wouldn’t even consider committing herself to a task unless it’s worth her time.” Mordecai told her. “Should we go see what’s going on or-?”

“CLEAR THE TABLE!!” The two of them heard the scientist from downstairs, prompting Lilith to remove anything that was on the holographic table as Tannis barged into the room. Even with the amount of times that they had seen her work, Lilith and Mordecai noticed that she looked like she had not slept in days due to… whatever she was working on. 

“Tannis, are you alright?” Lilith asked.

“Alright? Alright!? Well, to be fair, with the lack of sleep I’ve had and also my work… Wait, why are you asking me about my work when we have more pressing matters at hand related to what I just uncovered!?!”

“Wait… isn’t what you just uncovered technically your work?” Mordecai questioned. That only lead to Tannis staring him down with an evil glare as the hunter sighed. “Nevermind, forget that I asked… I’m going to get Brick. I have a feeling that he may want to see this too.”

Sighing a little, Lilith turned to Tannis as Mordecai went downstairs. “What was it that you found, Tannis?”

“Found would not exactly be the term you would use for finding a series of echo recordings and footage that may relate to your current personal dilemma involving the Vault Hunters and that little rascal that likes to refer to warheads as badonkadonks…” Tannis replied back as she set down her ECHO recorder very close to her and even went as far as inching it closer to her so Lilith wouldn’t want to touch it. “When I was monitoring the ECHO readings from Digistruct Peak, I had also… stumbled, if that is the appropriate term, upon some rather… unusual ECHO activity far away from Pandora…”

“O… kay, how far are we actually talking about?” Lilith wondered, posing the question to her.

“Much farther away than any of the planets we do know about such as Athenas, EDEN 5, and the usual. In fact… this is a planet that’s much… secluded from various other planets right now in the system.” The Scientist used the chance to bring up a map that they had uncovered shortly after Jack and the Warrior were killed and Pandora was freed from the Hyperion Jerkwads that invaded the planet originally. Using the holographic capabilities of the table, Dr. Tannis soon zoomed in on a particular point on the map that… indeed… was pretty far away from any other nearby planets. “Normally, there are never any form of ECHO readings from this planet, but over the past couple of days…”

“You found something?”

“Bravo! With that kind of insight, you may be smarter than the average slab that you would find around-.”

“I HEARD THAT!!”

“Oh, my apologies… I didn’t seem to notice you there…” Tannis replied as she crossed her arms while Brick and Mordecai re-entered the room. “As I was saying… this small planet has gotten more ECHO activity within a short timeframe so that got me to think… why would that be?”

“And what the hell are we talking about exactly?” Mordecai asked.

“Tannis… If I would take a guess at what you’re trying to tell us, I would assume that you found something abnormal or strange on that planet?” Lilith asked.

“A valid hypothesis… but not entirely correct.” Tannis replied. “A few moments ago, I heard you talk to Mordecai through the ceiling cracks that were above my workstation on how you were concerned about the missing vault hunters and Ms. Tina… Well… what would you say if I told you that I think I found them?”

That had Lilith looking back at Mordecai and Brick… surprised, but also partially confused. “What leads you to believe that they were somehow taken off of Pandora and stranded in god knows where?” She asked.

“So let me get this straight here. You know where they are, including Tina, and you are now just telling us?” 

“She just figured it out Brick, cut her some slack… and not literally.” Mordecai sighed.

“Ironically, that was the same question I thought originally… then I discovered that there was a satellite there from the TORGUE corporation that was orbiting the planet and with that, I pulled off several different ECHO recordings. Some with visual footage… Now be warned… what you’re about to see almost looks like it came out of an animated ECHONET show for youngsters, but first, I want you to listen to these audio only recordings.” Tannis told them as she began to play the first of several different sound bytes. 

“How long did Braeburn say this ride was going to be again, I mean the trains on Pandora are way faster than this one. Then again Pandora was more technologically advanced.” The first voice Lilith heard she could tell right away was Axton, and with the sounds of a honking horn on a train in the background, it sounded like they were onboard one.

“Who knows. My best guess is that since this train operates a lot like the ones in Lynchwood, I would think a couple hours. Hell, they still run on coal I believe.” Another voice was heard, which sounded a lot like Gaige as the four of them listened in. “Hopefully we’ll be there soon. I would actually like to talk to somebody who can probably help us with our situation. Heck, they may know where Maya and the others are… hopefully.” The short conversation that was held between the two of them was soon cut short once they heard three other voices… that lead to them calling the mechromancer ma’am. 

“Okay… for your information kids, I’m not twenty three. I’m actually fifteen.”

“Then why do you have a metal foreleg? I always thought that ponies like my granny would need something like a walker to help them.” That almost lead to Lilith choking a little on some water that she was trying to drink once she heard that.

“Okay… did I honestly hear that right?” She asked everyone else in the room.

“There’s more… listen to the ending of this sound byte.” Tannis advised them, just as the clip reached the end of the recording. “Attention Passengers, we are now approaching Ponyville Station. I repeat, we are now approaching Ponyville station. Thank you for riding the Friendship Express and have a wonderful day!”

“Okay, I feel like I want to have my head in a toilet after hearing that.” Mordecai groaned, gulping down whatever was caught in his throat.

“What. The. Actual hell did I just hear? Are they talking about literal ponies here or something? Because I know for a fact ponies can’t talk, I mean it would be strange if Butt Stallion just started talking all of a sudden.”

“Yes… I originally thought that, but that appears to be the case… The rest of these recordings have visual footage and trust me… they’re not joking… Oh and Lilith, you might want to turn down the volume on this. The only way that this footage was actually captured was through a conversation with our favorite overly buff and shirtless swearer.” Lilith sighed upon hearing that as she took the necessary precautions. When the clip started, it seemed simple enough… showing Mr. Torgue in his office as he started up a conversation with Gaige on the other line… the moment that he had the chat turn face to face was when things got… weird.

“WHO SAID THAT? HANG ON A SECOND, LET ME TURN ON THE CAMERA FEATURE ON THE ECHO SO WE CAN TALK FACE TO FACE!! FACETIME, MOTHERF**KERS!!!” The second it turned on, what appeared to be a pony version of Gaige was now on the other half of the screen… and the reactions from everyone else in the room were varied… but nothing like Torgue’s. “HOLY F**KING S**T ON A F**KING POGO STICK!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!?!”

“What the hell!? Is that… Gaige?!” Lilith asked, only leading to Tannis nodding her head in response.

“GOD DAMN, WHAT KINDA BULLSH*T CAUSED THIS?!”

“That… I’m not sure,” Tannis replied as the clip even showed Axton as a stallion along with some of the other figures that were in the room. “But listen to this part when Mr. Torgue asks for a recap on what exactly happened…”

“Well, to keep it brief, someone in Sanctuary knew where a vault was, all of us were there and the next thing you know, Axton and I end up in the Desert on another planet and turned into… well this.” Gaige replied, motioning to the rest of her body.

“OH I SEE… SO THAT’S HOW IT HAPPENED-!!”

“Uh… why does he always shout?” That small tidbit was what Lilith and the others remembered from the first ECHO recording as they heard Mr. Torgue asking who said that… and Gaige turned the camera on her ECHO device to focus on three fillies in the vicinity.

“OH MY GOD… THOSE THREE ARE SO F**KING ADORABLE!!! THEY’RE LIKE AN EXPLOSION OF ADORABLENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Well… He’s… not wrong there…” Lilith commented as she looked back at Tannis.

“They make me think of Dusty.” Brick commented, making Lilith think that he was actually going to get emotional. The clip continued to show the surprising arrival of both Salvador and Zero with two other ponies, one that happened to have a pair of wings and then later… Krieg’s dramatic entrance.

“HONEY, I’M HOME!!!”

“Dear god, Krieg just looks even weirder on that freaking planet.” Mordecai grimaced at the sight of the psycho. The clip ended though the second the group heard this particular sentence after one of the ponies got a letter involving a child with a strange choice of dialect.

“Gaige… I believe I think we know who that child is-.”

“Don’t tell me… are you thinking it’s Tiny Tina?” The group heard Maya ask before having to give the short explanation to the pony that they were talking to.

“... Do you think Tina is also a pony?”

Lilith wasn’t able to respond by the time Dr. Tannis played the third ECHO recording for them. This one showing Gaige, Axton, two ponies and what looked like a walking lizard with them. Right away, Brick’s question was answered. “Hey, is it just me… or am I smelling fresh crumpets?”

“You’re right about that, and that can only mean one thing.”

“You are CORDIALLY INVITED, BITCH!!” That… was definitely Tina’s voice. Brick knew that for sure. And that was soon followed by seeing Tina bolt into Axton with so much energy that it knocked both him and all the gear on his back to the ground. “Oh my god… you guys are here too? BEST DAY EVAAAAA!!!”

“Woah, why does she have a horn and wings?”

“You mean like the grape taffy pony next to them?” Tannis asked, pausing the clip. “Well, judging from the footage I did see, it seems that there are more than one species of equines in this world.” Taking a moment to bring up four different points in the ECHO recordings previously, the scientist pointed out different ponies with different characteristics. “From the information with these recordings, there seems to be four main species. The first one I’m dubbing Earth Ponies since I saw some clips where they were the ones doing all the hard work and labor in the fields and farms. The second one is… well, you can probably already tell because of the horn on it’s head.”

“Unicorns? That’s a thing here?” Lilith asked.

“Indeed. Not only that, but the third one are those with wings, so there are also pegasus here too… Which leads me to believe that what Tina is may be a combination of all three… and also a rare species that is only seen amongst nobles… Listen here.” She advised as the scientist took the recording off of pause.

“You’re here too, girl? Woohoo!!! This is awesome! Even more awesome than that sun pony with the best badonkadonk on the entire planet!!” They heard Tina yell as one of the other ponies raised an eyebrow.

“Wait… are you talking about… Princess Celestia?”

“She called herself that, but I was like PFFFT!! Now if only this place had somepony that looked like Butt Stallion…” She grinned, followed by having her eyes drift to a Unicorn that looked almost like the diamond horse that Jack had. “FOUND HER!!!”

“GAAH!!!”

“...... Oh my god, Tina just insulted the ruler of another planet, did she?” Lilith asked, leading to her sighing and also facepalming herself. “How can this get any worse?”

“Claptrap’s there too-.”

“Goddammit…” Mordecai cursed. “No wonder I had a bad feeling that he was somehow there too.”

Tannis ended the ECHO recording shortly afterwards, but not before the vault hunters noticed something that didn’t exactly… fit the scene. And that was the being that stood next to one of the “princesses” that was in the room.

“What the f*ck is that? It looks like something you might find in a stalker sh*t pile.”

“Or one of Dr. Zed’s experiments gone wrong,” Mordecai commented. “Hell, a LOT of them go wrong that it isn’t even funny.”

“Honestly, I do not know, but I did catch during the explanation to the princesses that the beings name was Discord,” Tannis replied, ending the clip and pulling up one final one. “This last one though… is where things get interesting.” The scene opened with a simple weapons demonstration that Tannis fast forwarded it through, but once this… Discord began to spoke, almost all of the Vault Hunter’s guns were aimed at it.

“IS IT JUST ME, OR DID THIS GUY SOMEHOW ALREADY BETRAY THE F**K OUT OF YOU!?!!”

“You’re damn right he did!!!” They heard Gaige snarl.

“W-what’s going on?”

“What the hay is all this for!?”

The next line from Maya though… made Brick snap. “This son of a bitch is the reason why we got sent here in the freaking first place!!”

“When I find this Discord I will personally RIP OUT HIS F*CKING TEETH AND FEED THEM TO HIM!!!”

“Brick, calm down-.” Lilith urged, but her comment was heard on deaf ears. However, when Discord spoke again after Axton told him something, they heard something that caught their attention.

“Oh sure, shoot a god of chaos… How’s that going to turn out for you?” They heard him say as with a snap, all of the weapons the vault hunters had at the ready stuck to the ceiling like magnets. “Besides, I don’t do things without a reason… and I wasn’t lying when I told you about a vault.”

“Did he just say… a god of chaos?” Mordecai asked. “Okay, either someone slipped some Rakk ale in one of my meals today or I am hearing things.”

“I don’t smell any alcohol… and I heard that as well.” Lilith replied, “However, this guy seems a little… what’s the word… crazy?” They watched as the rest of the clip played out before Tannis closed the recording.

“More likely strange… There are a lot of things here that don’t make sense.” Mordecai spoke up, before feeling the hairs along his neck stand up. Something didn’t seem right… but when Lilith looked at him… her eyes instantly widened.

“Holy… sh*t…”

“What’s wrong, Lil-?”

“Well now, my friend… Tell me…” He heard a new voice, causing a chill to run down his spine as he turned around. That same god of chaos that they were originally listening too… was right behind them. “What fun is there in making sense?”




> Chapter 6: New Arrivals
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second that everyone heard that single response in the room, everyone had different reactions. Lilith was stunned by how easily this… creature was able to get in. Tannis questioned if it was scientifically possible for the draconequus to just emerge out of nowhere. Mordecai himself was a little too startled to think of anything at that moment in time.

And then of course, there was Brick. “GET OVER HERE!!!” 

The first thing that the berserker did was charge head first at Discord… which only caused the embodiment of chaos to teleport away, leaving Brick to accidently fall over the second floor balcony and for his face to hit the pavement. “Geez, I was just trying to have a friendly talk and the first thing he does was try to attack me. And I thought with a name like Sanctuary that you would be welcomed with open arms.”

“You got a lot of nerve showing up here,” Lilith growled as the tattoos on her arms began to glow brightly as she lift up her right arm. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t phase blast you right now.”

“Easy there, little Lily… Is it alright if I call you that?” The response he got was a little bit of anger from the siren as Discord sighed. “Guess not… Besides, all I came here to do is just talk.”

“And what exactly would you have to say that would convince us not to let Brick floss his teeth using your own spine?” Mordecai then asked.

“AND DON’T THINK I WOULDN’T DO THAT EITHER… speaking of which when was the last time I did that?” Brick asked as he walked back in.

“When you chased the rest of Hyperion off of the planet with Tiny Tina on your shoulders. You sent those jackasses running with their tails in between their legs.” Mordecai replied, noticing the fact that this Discord actually had a tail as he facepalmed himself. “No offense or anything.”

“Some taken, but who cares?” Discord shrugged, “Still though, there is a reason why I came here and that was just to talk to you… I believe that you may not be as up to speed on the situation with the Vault Hunters as you may think.”

That was when Lilith decided to calm down as her tattoos began to subside. “And what makes you say that?”

“Well, before I continue…” Discord said as he glared at Tannis. “I rather not have her try to backstab me with a syringe to take a dna sample.”

Oh why that is just rather absurd,” Tannis blew the comment off as she rolled her eyes. “If anything, Dr. Zed would do that after Brick tears you apart limb from limb with his own bare hands.”

“...... Wonderful.” Discord sighed, only to hear Brick’s knuckles crack, making his ears stand up on end as he looked back at him.

“Give me a very good reason not to right now.” 

“Well, I have a reason for everything… and mainly, this involving the vault I’m asking their help with,” He explained as with a snap of his talon, the photograph that he originally showed the vault hunters was brought up on the holoboard in crystal clear HD quality. “This one is just as ancient and mysterious as the first vault that was opened… I was going to ask for you three to help with it, but since you are basically… well… retired vault hunters, I thought it would be better to ask for the other six to help with this task.”

“That still doesn’t explain about Tina or Claptrap though.” Mordecai pointed out.

“Well, for that robot… he was in the same vicinity of the spell I used to transport the vault hunters… Plus, wasn’t it a little nicer here now that the daily annoyance is not bothering you every fifteen seconds?” Discord asked, causing everyone else to look at one another. “Yeah… that’s what I thought. As for Tina, there are two reasons. One, I thought that with her track record of her saving your guy’s lives as much as you save hers, she would be helpful to the others… that and she pulled me out of a tight and embarrassing situation with some bandits that wanted to use me for flesh pizza.”

“O… kay. So what exactly is this specific image you are showing us?” Lilith asked.

“Well, this is the entrance to the vault, which is in the side of a canyon in a place called the Badlands. As I previously told the Vault Hunters, there are six pieces to a key that needs to be used in order to open it and right now, they have no idea where any of those pieces could be. So, I thought that since you have a certain… genius here who is familiar with vaults,” Discord said, looking at Tannis before looking at the Vault Key that was used by Handsome Jack to open the Warrior. “I was wondering if there were some sort of way for them to be able to track down those pieces. Like a radar or scanner.”

“Seriously?” Mordecai asked. “I thought you would be here to play mind games with us.”

“Don’t be so quick to assume, Mordy.” Discord replied, narrowing his eyes for a moment. “I’ve been learning a bit of Kindness recently and I’m just doing what I can to help.” For a second, Brick was unsure whether or not to trust Discord along with Mordecai while Lilith wanted to hear more of an explanation first from him on what he was talking about.

“Hunh… That is a rather interesting possibility…” Tannis spoke out loud. “The Vault key is charged by eridium and with the power that comes from it, it may be possible to come up with a radar upgrade for the vault hunters echo device if this key they’re looking for is also made of Eridium as well… But how are we going to get them over to them if they’re on another planet.”

“Oh… right. I forgot to mention that their ECHO devices are back online because of a muscly man who calls himself Mr. Torgue… That also includes Tina as well… Don’t believe me? Try contacting her yourself.” He said, looking at Brick in the process.

“Alright, but if doesn’t work…” Brick then pulls out his ECHO and contacts Tina. A few seconds later and he gets an answer.

“WOOHOO!!! BEST DAY EVA!!!!! ‘Scuse me girls, I need to take this.”

“Aww, come on! We were almost done with figuring out how to attach those booster rockets you had to our carts for a propulsion system!” One other voice replied, which Lilith and the others recognized as one of the three ponies that Mr. Torgue referred to as the Explosion of Adorableness. “Thanks to you, we can be able to get a second chance at making our carts before the race!”

“Don’t worry about it, Huggabutt. This only take just a second… ‘Ello?” Tina asked.

“Tina, well I’ll be damned Discord was telling the truth, how you doing?”

“Everything is going… AWESOME!!! You are not going to believe some of the ponies I met today! The Vault Hunters are here and I was able to meet Princess Sunbutt, who’s the one pony with bazonga’s like you won’t beleeeeeeeeeive!!” She said, almost breaking out into song. “Ooh! That and Gaige and I are now beginning to learn Magic from that grape taffy looking pony… Oh hey Bricky, you know what would be even better!?”

“And that would be?”

“If you guys were here too!!!” She replied… that thought alone though caused Discord to scratch his chin and grin a little to himself.

“I believe that can be arranged.” The Draconequus said to them, causing Brick, Mordecai and Lilith to look back at him. “That and with your gladiator friend Athena coming here from time to time, I believe she and a few others can keep this place in ship shape… no pun intended.” Just as anyone actually realized what he was talking about, Brick watched as the fingers in his eagle talon were preparing to snap.

“Wait… what exactly are you going to do to us?”

“Just fulfill her request. It is rude to ignore a lady.” Discord replied before snapping his finger and causing Lilith, Mordecai and Brick to disappear from the room before turning to Patricia Tannis. “As for you… I’ll be in touch.” He said, before disappearing in a quick flash and surprising the scientist.

“...... Okay, I’m not one for using profane language, but what the actual fu-!?”




The first thing Brick notices when he arrives is that he still has his hands, after he notices how bright the world is. “Ok, so the others were turned into ponies so why aren’t we?” he asked Mordecai and Lilith.

“Have you noticed the… trinket on your wrists?” Discord pointed out to them as he pointed it out. “It was something that I was going to give to the other vault hunters, but I wanted to make sure it worked first… Oh and Tina’s behind you.”

“Wait, wha-?”

“Bricky!!” They heard Tina behind them as she landed on the berserker’s shoulders. “This is the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!! One that deserves a proper burial once the day is over but WHO CARES!?”

“Hello Tina…” Brick says as he is still trying to wrap his head around all that is happening right now. Shortly before noticing Tina reach for the bracelet and accidently knocking it off of his hand… causing him to turn into a bulky earth pony stallion.

“WOOHOO!!! RIDE THE PONY!!!!”

“Well, this is a new experience.” Brick mumbled as he looked at the others. 

“You know… that just makes me curious as to what we would look like without the bands,” Lilith said as she looked at Mordecai. “Wanna take yours off?”

“Nope. I believe I’ll spare myself from the craziness and keep this on.”

“Suit yourself.” She replied as she took off the band and let herself transform into a pony as she trotted up alongside Brick. Once that was done though, they heard another set of voices nearby as they turned to see Gaige and Axton walking over. They were coming to check on the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Tiny Tina… but when Axton saw Mordecai… Things did not go well.

“Oh you have GOT TO BE F*CKING KIDDING ME!! WHAT IN THE F*CKING SH*T IS THIS?!” Axton then goes on a rant for the next few minutes.

“Hey Lilith, do you think he has issues or something?” Brick asked the siren as soon as he picked up his bracelet and put it back on.

“More likely that he didn’t get the option to turn back into his original form in the first place.” Lilith replied as Tina now decided to be over where she was. After a few moments though, Axton madly trotted over to where Discord was, took one of the bracelets he had, put it on and then left. All while being extremely and downright pissed.

“Hey, where are you going?” Gaige asked.

“FOR A WALK!” Axton simply replied. While walking in the direction of the Everfree forest.

“In the forest? Why would-?” She tried following up before hearing something else from Axton again.

“AN ENTHUSIASTIC ONE!!”

Gaige raised an eyebrow before turning her gaze to Lilith, Tina, Brick and Mordecai as well as the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “......... Should I be worried?”

“FOR THE WILDLIFE!!!” Axton shouted back as he faintly heard her.

“Ohhohoho… he’s pissed.”

“I think that is putting it mildly, and that's coming from me.” Brick commented.

“HE’S EXTREMELY GOD DAMN MOTHER F**KING P***ED AS F**KING SH*T RIGHT NOW!!!” That got Brick, Mordecai and Lilith to turn to Gaige as the Mechromancer sighed.

“Yeah… Mr. Torgue’s on my echo.” Gaige sighed.

“WHAT’S UP B*TCHHHHHEEEEESSSS?!!!” He replied, before noticing what was going on. “OKAY, HOW THE ACTUAL F**K ARE THE FIRST FEW VAULT HUNTERS HERE!?!”

“Wait… first vault hunters?” Applebloom asked, confused. “What is Mr. Torgue talking about?”

“Well you see little slab, myself, Lilith, and the drunk over there,” Brick paused as he pointed at Mordecai, who gave him a one finger salute in the process “We were the first ones to go after the very first vault on Pandora. We would’ve continued our vault hunting days, if not for a certain someone by the name of Handsome Jack. He ended our days of vault hunting and we went our separate ways for a while. Then the current vault hunters got us all back together to help them along the way if they need it.”

“So… does that mean you are retired?” Scootaloo asked.

“And what’s a slab?” Sweetie Belle added on as Gaige watched Discord try to restrain himself from laughing.

“Oh great. This is just like back on the train… Fan-freaking-tastic.” The Mechromancer thought to herself.

“Alright to answer the first question, yes we are retired. The second one, well I call those who have earned the right to meet me slabs and you three have definitely earned that right.”

“So are you like some kind of king?” Applebloom then asked in response, which sounded pretty ironic since Gaige remembered back on Pandora what Brick’s nickname was… The Slab King.

“That is correct, I am the Slab King. Doesn’t help that the other slabs are all a bunch of idiots and attack anyone that comes into Thousand Cuts.”

“Where?”

“That’s a place back on Pandora, Scootaloo.” Gaige replied. “It’s a bit… complicated to explain… But I’m glad to see you guys here. You missed out on us blowing the crap out of some stray loader bots that landed here because of Torgue’s little… gift for us.”

“I SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!”

“You mean I missed a fun party?! Damn now I wish we got here a bit earlier then, pounding some Loaders sounds fun right now.”

“Yeah… Say Gaige, where are the rest of you guys?” Lilith asked, curious to find out the answer.

“Well Maya is with Twilight, Salvador is back at Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie Pie, Zer0 is at Fluttershy’s cottage, and I think Krieg is back out in the forest… that Axton is walking in.” She replied before adding on something. “Trust me, it’ll all make sense once we get back to town… Right now though, I think Tina and I need to help these three build some badass carts for a race they got coming up tomorrow.” Turning to the carts themselves, they looked a lot like one of the catch a ride runners you would find back on Pandora… with the weapons included.

“Are you sure that’s… well… safe?” Lilith asked.

“Are you kidding me, that is perfectly safe!” Brick exclaimed with a smile. 

“Yeah, we haven’t gotten around to removing the rocket launchers yet and Tina wants to use two of her… damsels… to provide an extra boost to the throttle.” Gaige told her. “That and we have yet to put the paint designs on it yet.”

“I want to call mine the flaming talon!! No no, Bloodwing! That sounds perfect for scaring the competition!” Scootaloo said to her friends. “What about you girls? What do you think?”

“Aww… I’m having trouble with naming mine… I originally thought Dusty, but that just sounded too adorable to name a rocket car.” Sweetie Belle replied. “Ooh! I got it. Scoots, how about you name yours “The Firehawk”. That sounds pretty good right?”

“Sweetie Belle, that is brilliant!!” The young pegasus said. Gaige chuckled at that, listening to them talk. Only to overhear something that Applebloom soon said afterwards.

“Hey girls, I’m a little unsure what to name mine… do you think Scorpio sounds a little too intimidating for the judges.”

“Uh oh…” Gaige thought. “How about we focus on the names later and work on the cart and the decorations first?”

“Sure, but I call dibs on naming mine The Firehawk.” Scootaloo boasted afterwards.

“Anyone else feel a little sick right now?” Brick asked as he had a thousand yard stare.

“Come on, Brick. They’re just kids… I’m not even sure if they knew half of the things they just said.” Lilith replied.

“... You do realize that they have been spending time with Tina, right?” Mordecai pointed out. “How likely do you think that she told them about… well… y’know.”

“I’m not too sure if Tina told them about him, that is a bit of a sensitive subject for her. I mean do you remember what happened near the end of her game we played?” Both Lilith and Mordecai nodded their heads to that. They knew exactly what Brick was talking about. A while ago, they all participated in a game of Bunkers and Badasses with Tina as the Bunker Master and even though she sounded calm at first, over time, she kept bringing up Roland, one of the original four vault hunters that Handsome Jack killed and pretended like nothing happened to him. As it turned out though, having Roland in the game was a way for her to cope with his death and the death of Mordecai’s bird, Bloodwing.

“Hey, maybe Gaige knows someone we can talk too to get ourselves acquainted with the locals.” Lilith mentioned, before Discord corrected her on the grammatical error.

“Somepony.”

“... Say what?”

“Somepony is how the locals say someone here. Just letting you know ahead of time,” Discord said before disappearing in a puff of pink smoke and leaving a few rings for the other vault hunters when they met them. “I gotta go take care of something back in Canterlot. See you around, Kiddos.”

“… I got a feeling that adjusting to our new environment is going to not be so easy as I originally thought.” Lilith said. Only for Brick to comment soon after that.

“Yeah I figured that much, but hey a new experience and a new vault as well.” Discord then reappeared a few seconds later and set something on Mordecai’s head.

“Oh whoops, almost forgot this. Don’t mind me.” He commented before disappearing. Turns out that something… was Mordecai’s new pet bird, Talon. Who soon landed on his shoulder a few seconds later.

“Well, at least I got something to keep me occupied while I’m here.” Mordecai sighed to himself as he petted Talon’s head. Only for it to hiss upon seeing someone else approach them.

“Hey girls, Twilight wanted me to check you guys and-.” All three vault hunters turned to see Spike approach Gaige, Tina, Applebloom and the others before setting his gaze on them. “Holy scales, who are these guys!?!”

“We are the original vault hunters here, so who are you?”

“Original? I thought Gaige was one.” He said before looking at the Mechromancer.

“It’s a long story, Spike. To put it simply, Discord brought them from our world in order to help us.” Gaige replied.

“But they look nothing like the rest of you guys.” Spike pointed out as he was talking about the difference in appearance between her and Brick.

“Vault hunters can be any size and shape, it just depends if you are bold enough to tackle the challenge of the vault.”

“Brick, I think this little guy is talking about the fact that Gaige is a pony and you’re on two legs.” Lilith pointed out to him. “Besides, we still need to give these bracelets to the other vault hunters.”

“You mean like friendship bracelets?” They overheard from one of the cutie mark crusaders. “What? I was just curious.” That just caused Lilith to facepalm herself in the process.

“Brick… take yours off for a second. I think it’ll be better to show them how they work rather than tell them.” The siren explained to him.

“Alright.” Brick said as he took the bracelet off and became a pony once again. A few seconds later, he put it back on and became himself once more.

“Oh… so that’s how it works.” Spike responded.

“Yeah, those bracelets let us shift between the forms that we are normally familiar with back on Pandora and being a pony here from the looks of it.” Gaige said before feeling one strike her in the head. “Hey! That hurt!!”

“What? All I did was throw it to you.” Brick then said shortly afterward “Though maybe a little too hard.”

“You think?” Lilith then spoke up. “I did suggest to toss it… not throw it like a grenade.”

Mordecai himself was still trying to process something in his head while this was going on. “So is anybody else still a little surprised by the fact that we’re talking to a lizard?”

“I’m not a lizard! I’m a baby dragon!” Spike corrected, shortly before Tina lunged at him. “Oh COME on!!”

“What? Dragons are AWESOME!!” Tina replied. “OOH! Next time we’re back at your place, I shall introduce you to Bunkers and Badasses shawty!! We had a LOT of fun when free Lily, Brick and Mordy played with yours truly last time!!”

“Well, I do have to admit it was fun.” Brick said, though he left the part about what happened before the end of the game out.

“Alright. Well, I’ll be keeping this on me, but not putting it on just yet.” Gaige told them. “Besides, I still need to take you to Twilight after I help the Cutie Mark Crusaders here… Say Tina, who else did you say was going to help with this?”

“Salvador.” That… had Gaige concerned for a bit.

“He does realize that these are suppose to be carts without guns right?”

“Ehh, he’s extra muscle.” Tina replied, before turning around. “Ooh! Here he comes! And Pinkie Pie’s with him!!”

“Wait, Pinkie Pie? Who’s that?” Brick asked. Only for the Pink earth pony to show up right behind him.

“Right here, silly!” Pinkie said to her as Brick realized that the Pony was right behind him.

“Woah!” Brick then took a double take of where Pinkie was and where she is now. “How, what… know what, I’m not going to ask.” He then chuckles a little “Kinda reminds me of Tina in a way.”

“Oooh!? Who are these guys? New friends? Companions? Playable characters in the first game?” Pinkie asked before rushing over to Tina. “Ooh! I got an idea!! Let’s equip one of these with a party cannon! It’ll be the party-mobile!!!”

“Uh… Pinkie?” Sweetie Belle asked. “These are our carts for the race tomorrow?”

“Race!? You mean like in Mareo Kart?!”

“…… Not exactly.” Scootaloo replied. “For one thing, the rules state that we can’t have any weapons on there or anything that could cause harm to somepony like explosives-.”

“THAT’S BULLSH*T!!!”

“Thank you for your input, Mr. Torgue… … So basically, we’re just trying to make sure it looks good and wins the race-.”

“Oooh! Ooh! I got a TON of unused decorations that we can use!!” Pinkie Spoke, before dashing off like a hummingbird and returning with a huge pile of decorations and other important parts.

“…… Is it just me or am I thinking that Pinkie and Tina are a lot similar than you think?” Mordecai then asked as he was trying to watch what was happening… without being totally confused in the process.

“You’re not the only one.” Brick said to him.

“Thanks for the help now, big sis!” Tina replied, hugging Pinkie in the process as the earth pony giggled.

“Oh hush you… anything for my super duper best party partner EVER!!!” The earth pony replied. “Oh! I almost forgot!! I still need to set up a party for your friends!!!” She replied before dashing off in a hurry.

“Oh boy… That’s going to be awkward.” Spike sighed, catching Gaige’s attention.

“Why’s that?” she asked.

“Pinkie throws a party for every new pony that comes to Ponyville. And given the fact that there’s… now ten of you…” He counted using his claws. “I’m going to guess that you’re going to be caught off guard the second you head back to Twilight’s Castle.”

“And it’s not even MY BIRTHDAY!!” Tina added on, causing Gaige to sigh as Salvador soon went to one of the carts and tore off the machine gun that was on there before tearing it apart with his bare hands.

“Wanna join in on the fun, Amigo!?” Salvador asked Brick as he motioned his head to the other mounted guns that needed to be torn off and broken into pieces.

“You know it!” Brick then joined Salvador in ripping off the turrets as they broke it down into pieces as they watched the Berserker and the Gunzerker get to work on dismantling everything. The sounds of the noise caught some attention though as they heard somepony else trotting towards them.

“Gaige, why is it that I hear Axton swearing up a storm in the Everfree-?” That somepony turned out to be Maya… with Twilight alongside her as she laid eyes on Lilith and the others. “Okay, just what the actual fu-!?”

“Let me guess…… Discord?”

“What was your first clue?” Gaige replied, all while Discord tried to prove his innocence by have a makeshift halo appear over his head.

“Wait, Maya? Is that you?” Brick asked as he looked upon the siren. 

“Yeah, who else did you expect?” Maya replied, before lifting up her foreleg that had her tattoos on it and sighed. “My tattoo’s obviously give it away.”

“She makes a point, Brick.” Lilith added on as both Sirens looked back at him.

“I just thought she would look a little different, that's all.” Maya rolled her eyes and facehooved herself in the process. Yet the only pony that was still confused right now was Twilight.

“Hold on a second… Maya, Gaige, you know these… people?”

“Yeah we do,” Gaige explained. “It’s a lot to explain, but they were some of the original vault hunters that opened the first vault on Pandora five years ago. Normally, they would be turned into ponies, but it seems like Discord found a work around so we can use our actual bodies.” Before Maya could ask, she caught the ring that Lilith tossed in her direction and then placed it on as she turned back into her normal bipedal form.

“Alright… Phew, I was wondering when I would be able to walk on two legs again.” She sighed as she looked back at Gaige, who still had not put her band on yet. “Why haven’t you put yours on Gaige?”

“Well, I wanted to go back to Twilight’s castle first before I try it on. Even though most of my body is turned into a equestrian like form, my metal arm is still the same. Besides, who else is going to tell Zer0 and Krieg?”

“That… is a very valid point.” Maya replied. “Hey, should one of us go check on Axton and see if he’s okay?”

“Ehh, he’ll come back eventually. I think right now he just needs to blow off some steam.” The Mechromancer replied as he looked back at Salvador and Brick… who were on top of a pile of broken down parts and scrap metal. “Besides… we got some cleaning up to do first.”




Axton was currently walking through the forest, just heading off in a random direction as he reloads his shotgun. “Ahh, now that is what I call a fun time.” he then looks behind himself and sees all the carnage that he himself had caused, along with his turrets. The multiple bodies of not only Timberwolves, but Manticores as well. “Time to see-” suddenly the ground starts shaking and he looks around, trying to find out where it is coming from.

Then to the left, he saw three head pop out, and they are all connected to one body.

He then smirked. “Well the bigger the are, the harder they fall.” He then swapped out his shotgun for a rocket launcher, The Mongol, and fired away. He fired all three rockets and a cloud of smoke covers the Hydra… only for it to appear with minor scratches on itself and for the heads that he did blast off to have two more grow back in it’s place. It was looking directly at Axton… and it was pissed.

“... F*ck this Sh*t, I’M OUT!!!” Axton then turned around and ran as fast as he can away from the beast. After a few minutes of running he found himself heading towards a castle and ducked behind some rocks. He heard the Hydra hiss in anger and the sound of its feet getting distant. He hesitantly looked out from cover and sees it moving away from him.

“Phew, that would’ve been more trouble than it was worth. Now though, where is this place?” He then looked at the castle and the surrounding area, only to notice a slight glow coming from a cave down below in a cave. 

“Hmmm, what’s this about?” He then goes over and sees steps leading down towards said cave, and follows them down. After he makes his way down to the cave he sees a  purple crystal tree and the glow from it has gotten  a little brighter. 

He then whistles in appreciation “Woah, I wonder where this came from?” Then he looks beyond the tree as he notices something else in there. 

“Hello, what have we here?” 

> Chapter 7: Keep moving on...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been almost a couple of hours since Lilith and the others originally arrived in Equestria and met up with Gaige and Tiny Tina, but it had only been about half an hour since they just originally entered Twilight’s Castle. Of course though, since she was called to visit the Crystal Empire with Starlight and Spike, nobody was exactly home at the time. Good thing as well since Mordecai thought that the castle in itself was a huge seizure warning waiting to happen with how bright it was on the outside.

However, for Gaige, she had a different question in mind to ask. “So… should one of us at least go find Axton? The longer he’s left alone out there, the more likely he’s going to cause unnecessary havoc.”

“Oh come on, it’s just a forest. How bad can it be?” Lilith asked.

“Well there’s Timberwolves, Manticores, the possibility of a cockatrice every once in awhile, Hydra’s that if you try cutting off their heads, two more grow back…” Scootaloo responded before getting a glare from her friends. “What? She asked.”

“Hmm… save for the Hydra, I think he can handle himself. I mean that sounds like a normal day on Pandora.” Brick responded.

“Don’t forget the mean dragon on smoky mountain,” Scootaloo remembered, before another glare from her friends. “Oh come on, we don’t get enough action around these parts anyways! The only real time we had trouble was when that Centaur broke out of Tartarus, stole everyone’s magic and blew up Twilight’s old home. Other then the Bumblebear that came during that one week, everythings been… peaceful.”

“Bumblebear? Seriously?” Gaige asked. “Why does it sound like one of those Skrakk Abominations Dr. Zed would make?”

“Shrakk?” Lilith asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Body of a Skag, wings of a Rakk and the insanity of both. Trust me on the last one. Dealing with them drove Axton batsh*t crazy…” The Mechromancer explained. “No pun intended of course.”

“Well said.” Lilith sighed, rolling her eyes. “You know, maybe we should keep the bands off for right now. It might be a while before this Twilight gets back and it may give us some time to adjust to our… new forms.”

“Seriously?” Mordecai questioned. “I don’t even think I would want to know what would happen if I take this off, Lil.” However, before he could actually continue with what he was saying, he felt Brick lightly held one his arm and pulled it off himself. A bright flash went off and shortly afterwards, everyone saw Mordecai again…

This time, as a pegasus.

“Um… ok what? This was not what I was expecting to see.” Brick commented as he saw Mordecai’s pony form.

“Please tell me that I’m somehow drunk and seeing things. It’s the only reason that could explain something like this.” Mordecai grumbled.

“Want me to make sure you aren’t drunk?” Brick commented with a smirk as he held up a fist.

“Brick, I don’t think punching Mordecai would help here… He just needs a bit of time to adjust-.” Gaige said, but Brick ignored her and still punched Mordecai anyways.

“Oww! What the fu-!?” Mordecai said, before looking at himself and seeing that he was still a pegasus. “Okay, still a pony. Definitely not drunk.”

“And I still think the punch was unnecessary…” Gaige sighed.

“And I think it was totally necessary!” He shot back before taking off his own bracelet to turn into a pony. The Mechromancer sighed, taking hers off a few minutes later while both sirens and Salvador also removed their bands. Ironically, their timing was perfect because not long after did they take off their bands did Rainbow Dash soon come in through one of the open windows.

“Hello? Anypony home-?” She asked, before seeing Gaige and the others along with Scootaloo and her friends. To her though, she was surprised at seeing Brick, Mordecai and Lilith. “Oh hey Gaige… Where’s Axton?”

“He’s… blowing off some steam,” The Mechromancer replied with a sigh. “Why, what’s up?”

“Well, I was sort of expecting him to come back with you guys since everypony else is with the rest of the girls while Twilight, Starlight and Spike are in the crystal empire,” She replied. “Other then that, who are the new guys?”

“Names Brick. These two are Lilith and Mordecai.” He said while pointing to the two. “Who are you?”

“Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria!” She boasted proudly. “So… should it be safe to say that you three know Gaige, Maya and the others?”

“What makes you say that?” Lilith asked her, surprised that the Pegasus figured out that detail rather quickly.

“You have tattoos on your left foreleg like Maya would.” The Pegasus pointed out.

“Yeah that is pretty obvious, so what now then?” Brick just commented.

“Well, one of us should go look for Axton. He’s bound to cause trouble if we leave him out there on his own-.” Gaige’s comment was cut off the second they heard an explosion go off in the background. “And that was his Norfleet… Okay, what the hell did he get himself involved in now!?”  

“Let’s hurry before we found out the hard way!” Rainbow yelled. “Gaige, Big guy! Follow me!!” She said before dashing off and leaving behind a trail of color for both Gaige and Brick to follow. 

“Uh… Rainbow, he has a name-.”

“Who cares!! Hurry up!” She shouted back.

“I TOLD YOU MY NAME IS BRICK, RAINBOW PRIDE!! AND I HOPE HE LEFT SOME FOR US TO PLAY WITH!” He yelled as the two of them took off after her. Following her into the forest as they noticed some fallen beasts of the everfree and soon noticed a broken down castle.

“Woah… what the hell happened here-?” Gaige asked, only for the pegasus they were following to see Axton stretch out an arm towards the crystalline tree that was glowing. And before he could even touch it, she tackled him into the ground and sent him skidding into the wall.

“Don’t… even… THINK ABOUT IT!!!”

“Ok first: F*ck you. Second: Look at the symbol on the tree and tell me that isn’t a little suspicious.” He said, pointing at what he was looking at. First, they saw Twilight’s cutie mark as well as her friends… but soon saw them merged into something that caught them off guard.

A vault symbol.

“Woah, did I just see a vault symbol?” Gaige questioned, asking Brick and Axton to see if they saw the same thing.

“Woah.” Was all Brick was able to say.

“Yeah I know, I found this here after a three headed lizard tried to have me for lunch. I found it odd that a vault symbol was on this tree, the I looked behind the tree and noticed something else as well. A door that doesn’t open for anything, I mean Hell I even tried using the Norfleet to open it and all it did was F*ck all.” Pointing to the wall with a purple scorch mark on it. Gaige turned around to look at it, only for her to see what he was talking about. But that was not the weirdest thing.

The weirdest part was when Gaige’s body slowly began to feel warm as she saw a white glow come off of her and had a bit of a headache go through her mind. “Rrgh. W-what the hell-?”

“Uh, Gaige, are you okay-?” Rainbow Dash asked, extending her hoof, only to have a pulse of white energy launch her back into Brick. “Oww! What the buck-!?!”

“Huh, that actually tickled.” Brick commented before looking at Gaige. “You feeling alright there, Gaige?”

“D-do I LOOK alright!?”

“That looks a little familiar though.” Axton soon said as he rubbed his chin. “But from where?” It was then that what Axton described began to glow too for a few minutes before what was inscribed on it turned to mist and flew to Gaige, becoming part of the energy around the Mechromancer before the light died down and Gaige’s head was clearing up.

“Ugh… I… don’t know what just happened… but I think it’s a clue for us finding that vault…” Gaige said as she tried to rub her eyes. 

“So, what exactly was with the light show anyway, any idea?” Brick just asked, clueless as to what went on. However the door opened up that Axton was talking about and it showed something very familiar to the vault hunters. But to Gaige, it meant something more.

It was a piece of a vault key. “Six pieces… Six elements……” Gaige said to herself, catching Rainbow’s attention.

“Care to repeat that?” She asked.

“I… heard something before the door opened… Six pieces… Six elements,” Gaige repeated, looking back at Axton. “Did we hear something about elements before? Like from Twilight or somepony?”

“Not that I remember, or do mean like some sort of Elemental damage type?” That was when someone else figured it out. Not Brick… but the pegasus that was with them.

“Oh horseapples… She means the elements of harmony!”

“Elements of what now?” Gaige asked, looking back at her with a bit of confusion on her face.

“Well, it’s a lot to explain, but the simple version is that they’re a collection of powerful artifacts used by my friends and I to kick some serious bad guy flank. There’s six of them in total and they all represent different virtues.” The pegasus told them in response to the Mechromancer’s question.

“One question, Can you punch them to death with it?” Brick simply asked.

“They’re magic based artifacts… but I’m the one who normally does the punching.” She retorted.

“I repeat… To. The. Death?”

“Brick, enough about that. So what are these ‘Virtues’ anyway?” Axton soon asked.

“Honesty, which Applejack represents. Laughter, which Pinkie represents. Kindness, which represents Fluttershy. Generosity, which Rarity represents. Magic, which is basically Twilight in a nutshell and Loyalty, represented by yours truly.” Rainbow said, while pulling off a dramatic pose to boost her already present ego.

“Are you sure it isn’t ego you represent.” Brick joked with a smirk on his face.

“Hey, I’m loyal to my friends! I wouldn’t turn my back on them for any reason at all!” Rainbow retorted. “Still though, if what Gaige said was true, then we should tell the others. It could be a clue to solving the ‘finding a vault’ puzzle Discord brought you guys here for.”

“Yeah sounds like a good idea.” 

“I’m one for that… and some rest.” Gaige spoke up, looking back at the others. “Still, how long would it be until Twilight comes back?”

“If the practically detailed itenerary schedule she had been drafting for the past two days means anything, then she’s probably going to come back tomorrow morning at 9am,” That had everyone looking in Rainbow’s direction as the mare looked back at all three of them. “What? She had been droaning about it to Spike during the whole time that you guys were blowing up those Loader… thingy’s yesterday and I was bored. How else was I suppose to kill time?”

“Maybe try punching one of them? Always works for me.” Brick said casually.

“That… was a rhetorical question.” Rainbow deadpanned, pointing it out to him.

“And I gave you a rhetorical answer.” 

Rainbow just looked at Brick with a bewildered look on her face as she looked back at him. “Dear Celestia, I traded Bulk Biceps for this…”



Back at the Castle… 

“Wait… let me see if I get this right…” Lilith spoke up once the group came back to the castle. “You went into a broken down castle… in the middle of a forest…”

“Yes…” the Mechromancer replied.

“Where there was a crystalline tree?”

“Hai.” Gaige replied again.

“And on this tree was a freaking vault symbol…”

“Yes, like we haven’t  tried explaining it to you three times already!” The teen groaned as she looked back at the siren. “Axton, Brick and Rainbow were there too when it happened. They saw what I did… but that was not all that we found.”

“What do you mean by that?” Lilith then asked as a few of Rainbow’s friends trotted into the room.

“Axton, why don’t you show Lilith what we uncovered. You’re still holding onto the piece?” Gaige asked him as Rainbow trotted over to where both Applejack and Rarity were on the other side of the room.

“Yep, got it right here.” Axton said as he pulled it out. What he had surprised both Lilith… and Maya at the same time.

“Holy shit… is that-?”

“A piece of a vault key? Yeah, that’s it all right,” Gaige replied back. “Discord told us there were six pieces… and a clue we found at the castle might help us out a bit more.” It was then she noticed Rainbow talking to Applejack and the others, even though Twilight wasn’t present, and was pointing at what Axton was holding. “According to Rainbow, her and her friends bestow artifacts called The Elements of Harmony and there’s six of them in total.”

“So wait…” Maya then interjected. “There’s supposedly a link between those… elements and the six pieces we need to form the key?”

“It’s a possibility, but right now, it’s all we got at this rate.” The mechromancer replied. “We’re going to have to keep this safe though. Any suggestions guys?”

“Hmm, maybe try asking Celestia. I don’t exactly trust this Discord with something like this anyway.”

“Well, if you plan on talking to her, we’ll need to wait til Twilight gets back in the morning. She can easily send a letter to the princess in a split second. Hell, despite me learning magic, I have no idea how to do that.” Gaige sighed. “It is getting a bit late after all. Plus, some of us might need some rest… and Mordecai’s already doing it.” With a hoof, she pointed towards the pegasus as he was sleeping on the floor with Talon perched on top of his head like it was a lookout.

“Heh… I… kind of expected that…” Lilith replied, only to watch Tiny Tina soon fall asleep next to him and use him like a pillow. “But definitely not that…”

“When it comes to Tina, you can’t really expect anything.” 

“I second that motion…” Gaige agreed. Just then, she took a glance at her ECHO device, raising an eyebrow for a moment before looking back at the others. “Hey, could you excuse me for a moment? I need to check something real fast.”

“Something important I guess?” Axton asked.

“I’m… not sure.” She said, taking the chance to step outside before anyone else could ask her. But it was then that Rainbow and the others notice Gaige walk outside on them and the pegasus got confused.

“What… was that about?” Rainbow soon asked everyone else, unsure about why the mechromancer just ran out of the room.

“Not sure yet, but I hope we will find out when she gets back.”  Axton just told her.

Meanwhile for Gaige, her reasons for walking out was… rather strange. In the moment that she agreed with what Maya said, she had received a very strange message on her ECHO device. One that had brought back memories from when she was on Pandora a long time ago. For primarily two reasons… the first was because she couldn’t make out any names at all on the ECHO device.

The second though… was because of the message itself. Hello, friend.

To her… Gaige saw this as rather creepy. Almost as if someone was trying to stalk her and the others. In response, she composed a reply message to the unknown ECHO user. Who is this? And why are you able to reach my ECHO device?

Within seconds, a reply came back… A reply that triggered a memory. I’ll explain everything soon. But know this… I am here to help you.

“Hey Gaige, everything alright?” Axton asked as he walked out to check on Gaige. The Mechromancer took the moment to dismiss the message and put her ECHO device away before he could see it.

“Yeah, I think some other ECHO user got me as a wrong number. Nothing to worry about.” She said to him, hoping that he would believe it.

Axton just raised an eyebrow at that “Really? You sounded a little unsure of yourself when you left. So I kinda doubt it would be some random number.”

“Yeah, I originally thought it was my dad, but it turned out to be some dick who mistook my number for Moxxi’s.” Gaige then said, hoping that would cause the conversation to slam to a halt.

Axton just looked at her a little longer before shaking his head. “Whatever, this isn’t our biggest concern right now anyway. I just hope we aren’t sent on some goose chase for the rest of these parts.” 

“Well, maybe we should ask Twilight about it tomorrow morning. Something tells me that she might see something that we could’ve overlooked.” The teen replied back, looking back at the Commando as they walked back inside.

“Given what we were told about and from what i have seen from her, I wouldn’t be surprised if she did find something.” Axton shrugged. Yet, for Gaige… despite the smile on her face… the message from before still bothered her.

Who exactly was trying to help them… and why?

> Chapter 8: Catching Up
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t until morning that the vault hunters that were staying at Twilight’s castle were able to see the alicorn once again and when she had arrived home from the Crystal Empire, she did not expect to see additional houseguests on top of the fact that Maya and Gaige were actually deciding to live with her, Spike and Starlight. Though, more importantly, she was surprised to find Gaige and some of the other vault hunters standing on two legs.

“H-how… You were… now you’re-.” She said, still trying to process how it this whole thing was possible.

“Twilight, let me give you a demonstration,” Gaige sighed, taking the band that Discord had given her and holding onto it. “This body is the normal one that we are used too back on Pandora. That goes for the same for everyone else, including Lilith, Brick, Mordecai and also Tiny Tina. Discord gave us these bands and also told us that when we have these on, we’re in our normal bodies.”

It was then that she had decided to take off the band, allowing for herself to change back into her unicorn form. “However, if we take these off, we’re turned back into our equine forms… Does that make sense?”

“It…… strangely does.” Twilight said, finally processing everything. “Though, to be fair, Discord isn’t… well… Normally when it comes to him, he’s not one for always making sense out of things, so it’s kind of strange.”

“And trying to familiarize yourself with a world of talking equines when you’re used to living on a planet where psycho’s and murderers are trying to kill you isn’t strange?” Maya countered what Twilight originally said, causing the Alicorn to think a little bit.

“Touche.” Twilight replied, redirecting her attention to some of the new… houseguests in the room. “So… I’m going to assume that these three are friends of yours?”

“Yeah actually,” Maya replied. “That’s Lilith, fellow Siren, Mordecai, and Brick. They’re friends of ours and also were considered as the first vault hunters.” That had Twilight a bit curious as she summoned some parchment, ink and a quill to write using her magic. Though, who asked the next question… was Spike.

“Wait… what do you mean by ‘first’ vault hunters?” He asked, which in turn lead to one of them speaking. Specifically, Lilith.

“Well, there was originally four of us and we opened the first known vault to exist on Pandora. Vaults were said to have ancient alien tech and such, but when we opened the first one, we just a ugly alien freak called ‘The Destroyer’. That was around five years and in that timeframe, a LOT has changed.”

“Could you explain what you mean?” Starlight asked.

“It’s a very long story if you actually want to hear it.” Mordecai then spoke up. “Gaige and the others are what you may consider as the second generation of vault hunters. But why are we talking about the past? Shouldn’t we be talking about what happened yesterday?” That had both Twilight and Starlight confused for a moment as they looked back at one another before turning towards Mordecai.

“Yesterday? What do you mean by that?”

“Axton discovered something yesterday and… wait, where is he anyways?” Gaige asked, looking around a little before speaking the first thought that came in her mind. “I swear to god, if he’s snoozing off at this hour, I’m gonna-!”

“Don’t worry Gaige. I will give him the personal wake up call.” Brik says as he walks away while cracking his knuckles… before walking back in and asking “Um… where is he staying again?”

“Rarity’s place. It’s a boutique that looks like one of the spinning carousels. Hence the name being Carousel Boutique.” Maya then added, shortly before Brick went out. It was only a bit later that they heard the sound of shouting and Axton slinging out curse words that they saw Brick dragging the Commando by his hands.

“You know I can perfectly walk by myself right?”

“True, but this makes more fun for me Slab.” Brick said with a smug smile on his face.

“You have to be kidding me, I was having a nice dream too. We got done with looting the vault and all the ponies were chanting my name… ah it was so majestic to hear.” 

“Hmmm it seems to me he is still dreaming, I think I might need to add another dose of wake up punches.”

“I’m fine, no need to do so.” Axton quickly said, not wanting to have a repeat of earlier.

“Honestly… I did not expect for that to happen when Brick volunteered to bring him in,” Maya replied honestly before looking back at Gaige.

“Yeah, but this is Brick after all…” The Mechromancer replied, offering a hand to the commando to help him up. “Still, we’re glad you’re here. Twilight just came back a little while ago and we were just about to mention our… discovery yesterday.”

“Yeah, found this yesterday at the ruins of a castle in the forest.” Axton says as he brings out a piece of the vault key. “It was behind a door by a crystal tree, didn’t open for anything until Gaige got there.”

“So this is what a vault key piece looks like…” Twilight said as she tried to have a closer look. “To be honest, I thought it would look more like a piece of an actual key.” She extended a hoof out in order to try and touch it, but the piece did the strangest thing… and moved away from her and closer to Axton. “What the? Axton, why can’t I touch the piece-?”

“I don’t know, i’m not trying to move it away from you or anything.” The Commando insisted. It even got a little more stranger when Maya tried to touch it, but the same thing happened.

“That… is beyond me,” Lilith then said after seeing that. “The piece is acting like it’s… bound to you or something. Like only you can hold onto it for the time being. I haven’t seen anything like that with the Vault Key we were familiar with back on Pandora.”

“Seriously, this is now a thing? Maybe…” Axton then grabs ahold of the Vault key piece and holds it out towards Brick to take. “See if you can take it.”

“Alright then.” Brick then grabs the piece and it comes out of Axton's hand and is in Bricks… until it teleports out and back to Axton. 

“Seriously?” The Commando says deadpanning.

“Well, that’s what it looks like. Would you like Brick to try and grab it-?” Lilith offered, only for Axton to shake his head from side to side.

“I think I get the picture now with this thing here. My guess is that whoever grabs ahold of it first is the only one who can hold it. I so I think I can safely say I am NOT grabbing the other pieces… I’m fine with only one being close at hand.” 

“Okay, then.” Gaige said, looking at Twilight. “There was also something else that we found out that Rainbow Dash explained to us. It appears that each of these pieces are suppose to represent one of the… Elements of Harmony I think she called it.”

“These pieces represent the elements?” Twilight said, writing it down on the scroll, “Fascinating… Hmm… And this was found by the Crystalline tree in the old ruins right?” Her question was said out in the open, but it sounded like it was directed towards Axton since he was the one that found the piece.

“Well, yeah.”

“Hunh… If that’s the case, then my only guess would be that piece is related to my element, the Element of Magic. It’s a long story, but it was in those same ruins a few years ago that I originally awakened the Element of Magic. So, I would that given that you found it in the exact same place.” Twilight hypothesized, before setting down her quill. “Well, in theory of course, but it’s the closest possibility we have at the moment.”

“So what should we do in the meantime?” Gaige then asked.

“Well, unless anything else turns up on the vault key pieces, we don’t have a lot to do at the moment… Well, of course, I wanted to hear more about the story Lilith was mentioning earlier, but-.”

“Actually, I think we have the time for that if you want to listen.” Lilith then pointed out, looking at Brick and the others. “If it’s alright with you guys.”

“Fine with me.” Axton said.

“Ah, time for a trip down memory lane.” Brick takes a deep breath and exhales “Ahhhh the carnage we had in those days.”

Twilight raised one of her eyebrows for a bit before looking at Spike and Starlight. “Should I even ask?”

“Meh, you’ll find out soon enough.” Gaige replied before looking towards Brick and the others. “Brick, Lilith and Mordecai have the first part of the story while we have the second, so I’ll let them do the talking right now.”

“Well, it all started five years ago,” Mordecai began. “Back then, a lot of the well known corporations that produce weapons, grenades, shields and a lot of the equipment we have were fighting over Pandora because that’s where the first vault was. And in that vault was suppose to be things like advanced alien technology, powerful weapons and also riches beyond your wildest dreams… though getting to that point was not easy…” He then stopped and looked over to Brick, who happened to pick up where Mordecai left of at.

“You see at first Pandora was peaceful and all that, but the corporations turned it into a wasteland because of them fighting over who would be the first one to open the vault. The main ones were: Atlas, Hyperion, Torgue, and Dahl.”

“Wait… You never mentioned Atlas during the weapons demonstration though.” Twilight interjected. “What happened to them-?”

“Geez, no need to jump the gun so fast, amigo.” Mordecai replied. “Now… as you were saying Brick.”
“Right. So yeah because of them Pandora became a wasteland. Sand was all you could see, and rocks and small communities here and there from when the corps abandoned the people who were left behind. So the average person turned into a bloodthirsty psycho… Except for Tannis, the one who helped us find where the Vault was that Axton, Krieg, Gaige, Maya, Salvador, and Zer0 found. She was one of those that were left behind but never, really turned into a psycho, just antisocial from what I was told really.”

“Sounds like Twilight while she was a filly.” Spike commented.

“Spike!”

“What? It’s true.” He said before looking back at them and waiting for them to continue.

“Anyways, Tannis helped us fight again a mercenary group that was contracted by the Atlas Corporation called the Crimson Lance. Originally, there was four of us in our group and… well, the fourth member was a traitor to the group. His name was Roland and he was able to help us get out of some tough situations. There was also Marcus; a merchant who despises refund policies, Zed; a doctor who helped us out a lot, even when he mentioned to us that he wasn’t actually a doctor, an AI that referred to herself as ‘Angel’ and Claptrap.”

“Yeah, they’re familiar with him. We found him in Canterlot and he believed the Princess was the one for changing us… He also called Rainbow Dash a rainbow haired midget… and she did not take that well.” Gaige added.

“Well, to sum it up, the vault key we needed to find was split into three parts, each part either being held by bandits leaders or the crimson lance itself. Though, when the vault was opened… We didn’t exactly find treasure and loot. Instead, the vault let loose an ancient alien called ‘The Destroyer’ that killed the leader of the Crimson Lance and caused a lot of problems for us.” Lilith mentioned before looking back at Mordecai and Brick. “Yet, even with the Destroyer dead… what happened afterwards for the next five years changed Pandora.”

“How?” Spike asked.

“Heh, well we had to deal with a zombie Island for one. An underground fighting arena, Stop General Knoxx, the last remaining Crimson Lance commander, from blowing up Pandora and finally stopping a robot revolution. Man those were some wild rides I even remember some of things we had to fight, you guys remember Crawmerax?”

“Just like it was yesterday,” Mordecai smirked. “Though, because of what happened with the Vault, some of the corporations like DAHL and Torgue backed off while Atlas was ruined because of what happened with the Lance. But Hyperion was able to take what happened with the vault and turn that into more than just profit for them. You see, Hyperion made a giant crapload of money from a new alien ore that spawned from the ground called Eridium… But that was the least of our problems.”

Starlight and Twilight both looked startled a bit, but when Starlight cleared her throat, she then spoke up. “The… least of your problems? Dare I ask what was the main problem.”

“Two words…” Mordecai said, holding up two fingers. “Handsome… Jack.”

Brick then let out a heavy sigh. “Because of him, our days of Vault hunting ended. With what he was able to do, we stood no chance of competing against. We tried to fight him but it ended in failure. From there we created the Crimson Raiders, basically any who were apart of the Crimson Lance joined up with Roland and us, and made the town of Sanctuary. It was a safe haven, for the most part, and we dealt with Jack very slowly. During that time Roland and I split off because of a disagreement, but we were still friends.”

“Wait, who is Handsome Jack even?” Twilight then asked.

“He was an Employee at the Hyperion corporation that used the Angel to trick us into opening the first vault, then claimed that he opened it and took over as the President of the company. He then went on an all out crusade across all of Pandora to kill all ‘bandits’ and have total control over the planet. A complete jackass and also responsible for the massacre that happened at the town we were in called New Haven before having to relocate to Sanctuary, a former DAHL mining ship colony that was abandoned.” Lilith’s explanation put the Alicorn at a loss for words, her face stunned because of what she heard. “From then… we sort of went our separate ways. Roland found any remaining survivors of the Lance and anyone who can fight to form the Crimson Raiders, a resistance group against Hyperion, Mordecai was a spy and a scout that would help provide information to Roland, I focused on dealing with all the bandits in the areas surrounding Sanctuary so Roland could focus on Jack while Brick… well… like what Brick said, both he and Roland originally had a disagreement and he went to be in a peninsula on Pandora called Thousand Cuts. Everything was like that… Until a few months ago at least.”

“What happened then?” Starlight asked.

“That’s where we come in.” Maya spoke up now as she looked at them. “All of us, Including Salvador, Krieg, Zero and the three of us had our own reasons for going to Pandora, but Handsome Jack sabotaged the train that we were on and left us to die.”

“Well as you can see now, that didn’t work out exactly how Jack planned out.” Axton then picked up. “You see, after we were left for dead in the snowy terrain of the Southern Shelf, Claptrap soon found us along with the Angel AI from before and helped us out. They got us to the town of Liar’s Berg, where we soon met a man named Sir Hammerlock.” Axton took a moment to catch his breath before looking at Gaige, who picked up from where he left off.

“Hammerlock was a Hunter, Scholar and Gentleman by trade and helped us with getting ourselves on our feet as we made our way towards Sanctuary. When we made it over there, we met with some of the other people Lilith mentioned earlier along with Scooter, a mechanic who specialized in vehicles to help us get around Pandora and Moxxi; Scooter’s mother, bartender, former owner of the Underdrome until Jack tore up the place and the one lady that says the most amount of innuendo’s you can hear in one conversation. Later, we met Lilith in Frostburn Canyon, saved Roland from a bunch of bandits called the Bloodshots along with Hyperion forces since they put a bounty on his head along with every other vault hunter, and met Mordecai and Tiny Tina in efforts of hijacking a Hyperion Cargo train that was supposed to have the vault key on it… but as it turns out, we were wrong.”

That was when Maya took the reins and continued the conversation. “By the time we got back, it was then that we found out that Angel was actually working for Handsome Jack and when Lilith and Company had to relocate the entire city by phasing it out of the range of Hyperion Moonshots.”

“Hang on… Phasing?” Twilight asked. “Is that like something in particular with Sirens?”

“My powers, unlike Maya’s, is called Phasewalking. Normally, I can be able to go invisible and use my powers to take care of any creep who gets too close, but with Eridium, my powers are enhanced to include teleportation. Sanctuary got out of the way of the moonshots because I had enough Eridium to teleport Gaige and them away from the city and teleport the city out of a jam.”

“Pretty much… Though, even though the city was okay, what we found out on the way back over surprised all of us.” Maya replied, looking back at Gaige.

“We found out more about Angel on our way to try to group back up with the others in Sanctuary. But when we did group up, Angel told us a few things. One, the Vault Key was with her. Two, she was located on a peninsula overlooking Thousand Cuts called Control Core Angel and that we needed to get through three impossible security hurdles in order to reach her… and finally, when we did reach her, we found out that Angel… was a siren… and Jack’s daughter.”

That left all three of them equally shocked. No words could describe their reaction, even Twilight’s ink bottle dropped to the floor when that happened, but the Alicorn did not react to that. And now, it was Axton’s turn to speak.

“Yeah it was a surprise to see that as well. But before anything else could happen, Jack intervened and tried to prevent us from stopping him from using her powers as a siren to charge the Vault Key, all the while he was telling us off for attacking his ‘Innocent Daughter’. While we were taking care of the defenses in the control area, Roland came up and was able to open the coolants vents so we could destroy them. When we destroyed the second one, Jack ended up getting rid of the bridges to the vents, that is until Lilith decided to come and crash the party.” Axton then sighed and looked down. “Thanks to her we were able to get rid of the third and final vent. Angels last words were calling her father an asshole, which he deserved. At that moment then Jack was to be our next target… however it didn’t play out like that at all.”

“Then… how did it play out?” Twilight asked cautiously. That was when Lilith began to speak and take over for Axton.

“Just as we were about to leave, Jack came in from behind Roland and killed him right in front of us. I tried to harm him, but that was when Jack forced a collar on me and kidnapped me. While everyone else was scrambling to find out where I was, Jack was using my siren powers to charge the vault key and awaken a powerful alien in the vault he wanted to crack open called ‘The Warrior’. He wanted to open it himself because it was said that whoever opens the vault takes control of the warrior itself and this alien had enough power to cause a planet wide cataclysm.” Lilith paused for a moment before looking at Axton and the others. “However, by the time the key was charged, Axton, Gaige and everyone else showed up to fight Jack.”

“And how did that turn out?” Starlight asked, the unicorn hesitant upon asking that question.

“Heh, simple. We killed the f*ck out of that thing!!” Gaige boasted proudly, only for her comments to get some remarks from Axton.

“Hey, watch you damn language, young lady!” The Commando snapped, a little irritated by that as he looked at her.

“Don’t blame me. After possibly killing it with the amount of times we shot it in the chest, Lilith wanted us to use the Moonshot console to make sure it was dead and when that happened, parts of that monster were everywhere. Of course, we let Lilith kill Jack herself so she could avenge Roland, but you know what I mean.” The Mechromancer sighed, thinking that they were done explaining everything.

“Yet, even with Jack dead, there was something we found out afterwards that threw all of us off guard,” Maya then reminded them. “When Lilith tried to get rid of the key that caused this mess to happen… it turns out that the vault that Jack opened caused other vaults to surface, not just on Pandora but also on other planets too.”

“And as in the old saying goes, no rest for the wicked.” Lilith finished up. “So yeah, that’s basically everything… for the most part. Did I miss anything?”

“Well how about when they took on Terramorphus, or when they went to loot the Lost Treasure of the sands, or open another vault on Pandora, man that guy was an ASSHOLE!! Then they went on a wildlife exposition with Hammerlock. Even went on a little adventure by Tina’s imagination.” Brick decided to then name a few more things that they did.

“Well, we were in Tina’s imagination while you were playing Bunkers and Badasses with her.” Gaige reminded Brick.

“Wait, there was another vault on Pandora?” Twilight asked. “That’s like… three that you’ve mentioned already.”

“Yeah, but this one did not require a key exactly. The third vault was actually in the center of a large crater. One where Mr. Torgue happened to set up a tournament there.” Maya clarified. “The vault there could’ve only been opened if ‘the champion of Pandora feeds it the blood of the ultimate coward’. So, Mr. Torgue and the Torgue Corporation sponsored a tournament to find the ‘number one badass’ on Pandora. Even going as far as naming the place the badass crater of badassitude.”

“AH GOOD TIMES… OH, SORRY! I WAS JUST LISTENING IN ON YOUR CONVERSATION AND REFLECTING BACK ON THOSE MEMORIES.” They all heard Mr. Torgue from Gaige’s echo device, surprising Lilith, Brick and Mordecai a bit by the fact that he was listening to their entire conversation from the sounds of it. “ALSO, DID SOMEONE CALL ME AN ASS**** WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER?”

“Wasn’t talking about you Torgue, was talking about Piston.” Brick soon clarified for Mr. Torgue.

“OH RIGHT… HE WAS AN ASS****!”

Spike was now the one that decided to speak up and ask a question this time. “Uhh… Who’s Piston?”

“A fighter in the tournament who was an all out cheater and a total coward. He played every dirty trick in the book to keep his number one ranking in the tournament from sabotaging fights to trying to make us look like cowards. Thankfully, when we killed him, that was what caused the vault to open-.”

“AND FOR A GLORIOUS LOOOOOOOOOOOOTSPLOSION TO HAPPEN!!!!” They all heard Torgue yell while performing air guitar again.

“So yeah… that.” Gaige then summarized. “Any questions?” The ponies all shook their heads along with Spike before the Mechromancer looked back at them. “Now, in the meantime, what should we do?”

“WHY DON’T YOU DROP BY THE SUPPLY DROP I SENT YA? THERE’S A LINK WITH YOUR GUYS’ STORAGE UNITS SO YOU CAN GET ANY EQUIPMENT YOU STORED BACK AT SANCTUARY. I WOULD THINK THAT WITH LILITH AND THE OTHER VAULT HUNTERS HERE, THEY WOULD NEED THEIR EQUIPMENT, WOULDN’T THEY?!” Mr. Torgue spoke up.

“He makes a valid point. I did have a couple of my rifles stashed in storage at Sanctuary,” Mordecai spoke up. “Though, I’m not sure about Lilith and Brick since Lilith has her powers and Brick prefers the… hands on approach.”

“Hey I will still use guns from time to time, though nothing is more satisfying than beating the ever loving sh*t out of someone with your fists.”  Brick said with a happy smile on his face.

“Yeah, I’ll take up on Torgue’s idea. I think there’s another shotgun I had stashed in storage that I did not get the chance to grab before we… well… ended up here.” Gaige commented, placing her Conference Call on her back for a moment. “Anything you might need, Axton?”

“Hmmm, not that I know of. I have most, if not all, the weapons I normally use on me right now.”

“Alright, I’ll go trade out my Conference Call for my Interfacer and be right back.” She replied, stepping out of the castle with Mordecai right behind her. Before going though, she chuckled and said one last thing. “Oh and FYI Axton… You might want to let Salvador and the others know about… well… your new best friend.”

Axton then rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah laugh it up. Can’t wait to see what the others have to say about this, especially Krieg.” He then turned around and walked outside. Just as he noticed Krieg standing outside the door. “God f*cking dammit” he mumbled out.

“SHINY ROCK, GIMME!!!”

“This won’t end well, I can already tell.” Axton mumbled again, as Krieg grabbed the piece of the vault key, only for it to return to Axton. 

“SHINY ROCK, HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME!! HOW DARE YOU!!!” Krieg roared, only for Salvador to come up and be puzzled as to what was happening… And Krieg chasing Axton while he was holding onto the vault key piece.

“SALVADOR, GET HIM TO STOP CHASING ME NOW!!!!” Axton shouted to Salvador as some of the others were laughing.

“What are you pendejos even doing?” He asked in return, all while Zer0 stared at them with a question mark on his mask. When Gaige came back though was when things got a bit out of hand.

“Okay, I leave you guys for five minutes and now you’re causing sh*t!! What the hell is going on?!” The Mechromancer shouted.

“KRIEG WANTS THE VAULT KEY PIECE!!!” Axton shouted at her as Krieg soon got his buzzaxe out and was shooting fireballs at him. “STOP HIM ALREADY!!!” Gaige sighed, taking out a spare relic that she had put in her inventory for if she needed it and decided to hold it out for him. It was then that the psycho’s attention was redirected as he went over to Gaige and took the relic to keep for himself. 

“MINE! MINE! MINE! MY PECS HAVE PECS!!!”

“Phew, thanks for that Gaige.” Axton said as he caught his breath.

“Your welcome… You owe me a blood of the ancients now.” She deadpanned, looking back at everyone else. “Still, you may need to bring Salvador and Zer0 up to speed on everything. Zer0’s got a question mark on his helmet again.”

“Don’t worry about the relic, i’ve got spares. And yeah, you’re right about getting them up to speed.” Axton replied, looking back at the others.

“And talk about it inside the castle. You idiots already attracted too much attention to yourselves as it is.” Mordecai pointed out as Axton and them noticed all the civilians in ponyville that looked scared or afraid of them. Including some of the young children. Causing Gaige to facepalm as some of them had the same thought on their minds.

“Ah crap…”

“Hey it wasn’t my intention for that to happen.” Axton said.

“Yet it did and now things just got more complicated-.” Gaige replied, shortly before hearing someone else speak.

“WOOHOO!!! BURN ALL THE BABIES!!!!” Again, Gaige facepalmed herself as they watched Tina and the Cutie Mark Crusaders race into town on their custom made carts, courtesy of her and the help of Salvador and Brick.

“That comment did not make things any better.” Axton deadpanned and facepalmed. This was going to be the start of a long day… A long and… rather difficult day. Especially with having to bring everyone up to speed on everything they had just talked about.

While waiting for everypony else though, Gaige was using her ECHO device to look at her skill tree and see if there were any adjustments that needed to be made. This though, happened to catch somepony’s attention. Mostly because all that she was seeing was a lit up screen and several boxes instead of the icons that the Mechromancer was familiar with. So when Starlight got a bit closer to Gaige and noticed what she was looking at, she was… well, rather surprised to say the least. “What are you doing, Gaige?”

“Oh this?” She asked, pointing to her skill tree as she used a finger to point at it. “I’m just going through my skill tree and seeing if I need to adjust anything.”

Starlight herself raised an eyebrow at that, looking a bit confused by what the Mechromancer was talking about. “Skill… tree? What the hay is a skill tree?”

“Well, each one of us Vault Hunter have some sort of special ability that we call an Action Skill. Think of it like if you had one particular spell you would use frequently then anything else for example.” Gaige suggested to her, causing Starlight to scratch her chin.

“You mean like if Twilight used her teleportation spell?” The Unicorn asked upon thinking it through.

“That’s a good example. For us though, each one of us varies with a different skill. For me, I bring out Deathtrap; For Axton, he brings out his turrets; For Maya, it’s her Siren powers and so on. Each of us have a skill tree on our ECHO device that allows for us to modify our action skill so it could take on other traits. For Deathtrap, my skills give him some useful combat abilities while for Axton, it gives his turrets more modifications and firepower.” The Mechromancer explained, trying to not overdo it with the amount of words she was saying. The Unicorn herself began to understand… to a certain extent before noticing something else as she pointed to a hoof at a couple of the squares on the skill tree.

“Why do those ones have a glowing box around them?” She then asked, causing Gaige to smirk a little.

“Those particular choices are perks that are enhanced by my class mod,” She said, tapping the lunchbox at her waist that had four playing cards on it. “My Legendary Roboteer mod enhances the amount of damage Deathtraps attacks can deal, increases Deathtraps speed, how much health we have, how much damage we can resist and lastly, my personal favorite, reducing the cooldown time on bringing out DT in the first place.” Around this point was when Rainbow Dash and some of the girls were entering the castle. But Gaige was too busy paying attention to her skill tree to notice… and the same could be said about Starlight.

“Interesting… What are some of the names of these skills you’re mentioning?” Starlight asked, interested in learning more about it.

“Well, some of the ones that help me a lot include some abilities for Deathtrap, including ‘The Stare’ since that allows DT to scorch enemies with laser beams,” Unnoticed by either of them, Fluttershy was now shivering a little as she hid behind Zer0. “‘Evil Enchantress’ right here helps me when using elemental weapons and ‘20% Cooler’ reduces how long I have to-.”

“Hey, that’s my catchphrase!” Both Mechromancer and Unicorn looked up, surprised to see the rest of Twilight’s friends within the same room that they were in.

“Girls? When did you get here?” Starlight asked, rather shocked and startled by seeing all of them in the same place.

“Just now, silly! Twilight called all of us by to share some news, only to find both of you messing with that ECHO thingamajig that has that one ponies voice on it!” Pinkie Pie chuckled, having Gaige mentally roll her eyes a bit as she closed what was on her ECHO device. It didn’t help any that the pony she was talking about soon responded afterwards.

“I LIKE THIS ONE! CAN WE BE FRIENDS?” All of them heard Mr. Torgue shout in respond, followed by Pinkie’s simple ‘yes’ reply and Mr. Torgue declaring something about being ‘friendzoned’ or something else that Gaige could not understand.

“All this aside, why did you happen to talk about my catchphrase like that! It belongs to me!” Rainbow Dash declared.

“Do you have ownership of it?” Gaige then smirked a little, causing Rainbow Dash to think a little bit. “Because something tells me that Equestria has some sort of law dealing with free speech?”

“ … Okay, how do you know that?” The baffled pegasus asked, rather puzzled by how Gaige was able to get one up on her like that.

“I was bored last night, so I decided to snoop on Maya while she was reading a book about Equestrian laws and what not.” The Mechromancer sighed. “Now, can we please get moving? Everyone else is by that weird map… table… thing.” On that note, the whole table they were going to meet at reminded Gaige of the small map table in Sanctuary that Roland would use to coordinate attacks with the Crimson Raiders.

“Hunh… I guess there are some similarities here after all.” She sighed, following the others as they decided to join them. Though, that was when she remembered that it was the first time that the rest of Twilight and Rainbow’s friends actually got to meet Brick, Lilith and Mordecai.

She only remembered that the moment that Pinkie decided to have herself hop onto Brick’s back like she was Tiny Tina.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Brick asked.

“Oh, I’m just doing what Tina told me, silly Bricky!” Pinkie chuckled. “She said it was fun whenever she was on top of your shoulders and I wanted to see it for myself!” That not only got Gaige to facepalm herself, but also got a much similar and collective response from her friends too. Including Twilight.

“Come on down there, girl! Brick needs his ‘personal space’…” Tiny Tina then spoke up. “Otherwise, anyone who startles him basically gives Brick permission to clobber them to a bloody pulp…”

“As Tina said, I would get off my back, now.” Brick said in a stern tone. “And yes, I would beat you down if you startled me, which would include pranks.”

“Aww… Okay!” She said, bouncing off Brick like a trampoline and landing gracefully near Tina. That just caused a bit of an awkward silence amongst the group for a few moments as they were all getting situated so they could share the news.

Nevertheless, when they told them about the events of last night and how they found a vault key piece, everypony had their own different reactions. Rarity thought that the vault key piece attached to him was rather… in her own words… grim since it drawed too much attention. And when she meant attention, she meant attention away from Axton. Applejack and Fluttershy seemed rather calm and surprised about everything along with Salvador and Zer0. But when Pinkie and Tina heard about it, she thought that inside this vault… there was everything she needed for the ultimate party. Something that wanted to make Gaige slam her head against a wall.

“Alright, ya told us about the key and everything,” Applejack told them before redirecting her attention elsewhere. “But what ya haven’t done is explain who the hay are these three?”

“Well to simply put it, Myself, Mordecai, and Lilith here,” Brick started pointing at the other two. “We were the ones who went after the very first vault on Pandora.”

A lot of the other ponies in the room looked a bit confused at that before Gaige spoke up. “Before there were any other vaults showing up all over the place, there was one main one on Pandora. Brick here, along with his companions were responsible for opening the first one.”

“So that first vault somehow lead to another one sometime later?” Applejack then asked.

“Yes, but the other one was five years after the first one opened. After the second one opened… let’s just say more vaults began showing up all over the place, along with on other planets.” Gaige replied, trying to simplify things. “Does that sound right Brick?”

“Basically. Just we ran into issues when we tried to continue Vault Hunting.”

Now that had Applejack and the other ponies look at each other a bit confused. “Issues?”

Gaige sighed before looking at Brick and Axton for a moment. “Do you want the short version of the explanation or the long version? Because the same stuff we're talking about now, we told Twilight, Spike and Starlight like fifteen minutes ago.”

“Just give them the short version, I get tired of explaining the long version too much.” Axton sighed out.

“Okay, to put it in short… You got bandit groups going after you for greed or their own reasons, corrupt corporations that try to suck Pandora dry of resources and make this planet theirs and numerous other horrors that just happen to show up after opening a vault. The only time that I remember a Vault not having any monsters inside was during the Campaign of Carnage-.” Gaige was going to continue with her explanation, but was soon cut off before being able to continue.

“THAT WAS AN AWESOME LOOTSPLOSION THOUGH, AM I RIGHT!?!” Mr. Torgue shouted before mimicking the sounds of a guitar as he performed another air guitar solo. “COMPLETELY BADASS IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF!!”

“It was pretty epic to witness after we thrashed Piston.” Axton said in response. 

“Who?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Think the worst kind of cheater you could picture in your head and add on the fact that he calls you a coward, even though he is one.” Maya then spoke up, waiting for the right time to speak. “Not to mention that he thinks that rules don’t apply to him.”

“He was part of the tournament Axton, Maya and the rest of us were a part of and was supposedly the “number one badass” on the leaderboards. However, he got that ranking through setting up fights, breaking rules and playing every other dirty trick in the book in order to try to open the third vault himself-.”

“WHEN HE WAS THE COWARD ALL ALONG!!!” Torgue interrupted. “OH, MY BAD! SORRY ABOUT THAT!!!”

Gaige sighed to herself for a moment upon hearing that, taking a deep breath as ashe was going to continue explaining. But one of the other ponies beat her to it. “Okay, ah gotta ask… What the hay does this whole ‘coward’ thing involve a tournament and opening up a vault?” Applejack then asked. That was when one of the others in the room decided to speak this time. Specifically, Lilith.

“Well, from what I was informed by a friend of ours named Tannis, the vault was found in a large crater that was said to only open “if the champion of Pandora feeds it the blood of the ultimate coward”. So, Mr. Torgue used that to open up a huge tournament to find this champion… or as he called it…”

“THE NUMBER ONE BADASS!!!” Torgue shouted out, like it was on cue.

“So, when Axton and the others defeated Piston, the conditions regarding the opening of that vault were satisfied.” Lilith finished, before looking back at everypony else. “So… any other questions?”

“Well, if I may…” Rarity then spoke up. “On the subject relating to the key, how will it be possible to find these pieces? Unless we have something to assist us, finding them will be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.”

“Hmm, maybe we could use the key here,” Axton said as he brought it to his face while rubbing his chin in thought. “And somehow find a way to track its energy signature so we have a way of finding the other pieces.” 

“So… like a radar?” Gaige asked.

“Yeah, but maybe we could also use magic to help with the radar. Might give us a better way of pinpointing the exact locations, rather than going off of a general location.” Axton then said. 

“Pfft, that sounds like a pet project that Twilight would want to do.” Rainbow Dash snickered.

“I like the concept, I must admit,” The Alicorn in question replied. “But this isn’t something I can take on by myself… I would need to work on it with another person. Preferably one with prior knowledge to the energy and components of a vault key. As the old saying goes, two heads are better than one.” That though… just left Gaige a bit baffled.

“Is it just me… or is she asking to work with Tannis?” The Mechromancer questioned.

“I really have no idea how she will react to this prospect when we tell her.” The Commando replied. That just left many of the ponies there rather… confused.

“Who’s Tannis?” Rainbow then asked. Causing Gaige and the other Vault Hunters to sigh a little bit.

“Let me say this…” Gaige replied. “She’s both insanely smart… and also a bit insane on the side.”

> Chapter 9: Awkward conversations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the town of Sanctuary, the scientist named Patricia Tannis was pacing around the room in circles. Trying to think on something as she tried to walk around in a perfectly round circle around the table in the upper room of the command post and not cut corners. To her, things had to be precise. Things had to make sense… yet, what she had witnessed earlier with Mordecai, Lilith and Brick shortly before they disappeared lacked any precision and did not make any sense no matter how many times she thought it over. Not to mention that this was the first time that she saw another creature, other than those aliens that showed up to stop the execution of Athena after she told them how Jack rose to power, that seemed… intelligent. A little crazy, but intelligent nonetheless. After all, he had to have some brainpower in order to not just sneak into Sanctuary unnoticed but also-.

“-Tannis? Tannis! …… TANNIS!!” The last shout coming off of her ECHO communicator that she set on a nearby table had caused Tannis to slip and fall onto the floor, breaking her out of her concentration. To her surprise, the person who was trying to contact her… was actually Lilith. “What the hell? We’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes.”

“Well EXCUSE ME! Good to know that you are all still alive. I’ve been trying to make sense of that Discord fellow for the last six hours and I have not figured him out yet. I’ve done everything, even asking Clork for help, but all that he’s done is prattle around on the ceiling like he does every other day of the week-.” She paused for a moment, looking back at her in confusion. “Uhh… How exactly are you able to ECHO me? I’m not picking you up anywhere on Pandora or in this system.”

“BECAUSE… REASONS!!!” That sudden interruption made Tannis furious. It was that same buffon that interrupted the last ECHO frequency that she had with the rest of the Crimson Raiders.

“Why are you INTERFERING WITH MY ECHO FREQUENCY!?! I told you to-.”

“Calm down, Tannis…” she soon heard another vault hunter that she remembered, a Mechromancer named Gaige, speak up. “Mr. Torgue has been helping us in more ways than one. Besides, you might want to sit down… we got a lot of explaining to do and-.” Around now was when Tannis happened to notice that the creature that was next to her… was a technicolor equine figure. Just like the ones that she had discovered earlier shortly before that Discord had rudely interrupted her explanation.

“Oh come on now. Unlike most of you mouth breathers, I have a doctorate in my field of study… How hard can it be?”



Equestria

“Well… It’s quite a story really… but first things first, what do you exactly know?” Gaige asked her as Twilight sat down next to the mechromancer.

“Pretty much everything that Discord happened to share to us before whisking away Lilith, Mordecai and Brick like they were puppies that got taken away by a swarm of rakk.” Tannis’ reply caused some shiver to go down Twilight’s spine as Gaige noticed bits of her fur standing on end.

“Well… there may be some things to update you on then,” The Mechromancer replied. “We found one of the pieces of the key… but…” She stopped for a moment, looking at Axton at the other end of the room before looking back at Tannis. “You might want to see this for yourself.”

Turning her ECHO device so the camera was at a different angle, the scientist now had a look at what Gaige was talking about as she now had a clear view of the vault key piece that was bound to the commando. “Axton, say hi to Tannis.”

“Hey Tannis, I have a new ‘buddy’ on hand.” The Commando said as he waved the Vault piece around before setting it on the table and for it to come back to his hand seconds later. 

“Hmm… this is rather intriguing… I mean about the artifact, not your witty childish attempts at subtle humor,” Tannis spoke, while also insulting Axton at the same time. “And how long has this going on for?”

“Well, we found it yesterday and since Axton decided to hold onto it, it’s been with him ever since.” Gaige explained. “That’s one piece we found while there are still five more to find. Not to matter that it also relates to a series of artifacts that have saved this planet multiple times over.” The Mechromancer went on to explain a little more on what they found out about the elements of harmony as well. But just as Spike was coming in with some eggs and hay-bacon for Twilight and Gaige, they heard Tannis say her next statement.

“At least where you’re at, it doesn’t have the awful stench of Bacon,” She complained. “No matter how many times I’ve insisted, I could not convince Roland or the other Crimson Raiders that bacon is for sycophants and products of incest!” Hearing that almost made Twilight choke on the hay bacon she was trying to eat… before pushing the rest of the bacon that was on the table way far away from her.

“Some bad food there Twilight?” Axton asked as he saw what Twilight did.

“More like Tannis upsetting her appetite,” Gaige sighed, looking back at the Commando. “She went on her rant about Bacon again.” It was common amongst the vault hunters to hear Tannis say a few lines that were out of the ordinary… yet it was not exactly something that would fit well with Twilight’s stomach.

Axton merely rolled his eyes at that. “I don’t know why she keeps that up when no one will listen to her about it.”

“Probably see’s it as her way of a public service announcement.” Gaige then said, shortly before being interrupted.

“Both of you do realized that I can hear you two mouth off about me, right?” Tannis then asked.

“I’m not apologizing.” Axton quickly said. Only causing Gaige to roll her eyes for a moment as she looked back at Tannis.

“Back to the discussion at hand… The artifacts that I previously mentioned seemed to based off of certain… characteristics and virtues. Stuff like Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness and magic. We think the one Axton got is on the latter of those that I just listed, but we still need to figure out where the others are.”

“And just when I thought that listening to Athena’s story on her journey on Elpis was long and tedious.” Tannis mumbled.

“Elpis?” Twilight asked.

“Pandora’s moon-.” Gaige told her… only to get interrupted by Twilight again.

“Wait… so were they banished or did they go there by choice?”

Gaige looked with a raised eyebrow at Twilight, before looking back at Axton.

“They went there by choice, it was before Jack was all evil and crap. Claptrap went with on the journey actually… and what do you mean by banished.” Axton asked Twilight. 

“Well, for some of Equestria’s foes and other who commit very heinous crimes, they either get banished to the moon… or banished to the sun.”

“We just kill ours. But wouldn’t being banished to the sun just kill them?”

“Yes… But there are those that have survived on the moon… Luna’s one example,” Twilight told them in response.

“There were others who survived?”

“Some… I think. But it’s another story.” The princess sighed for a moment. “Still, I think we’re getting ourselves sidetracked again.”

“Yeah, your probably right.” Gaige then replied, looking back at Twilight before saying something else. “Though, now that you think of it… these pieces of a key remind me of something from a while back. We had originally found a lockbox that required a series of keys that my friends and I acquired from demonstrating the traits that we possessed… I don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud.”

“That happens to me all the time… Last time I was thinking out loud, I was thinking more as to how idiotic it would be to have a hook for a hand when remembering about the time the vault hunters had to tangle with a few sand pirates,” Tannis bluntly stated. “Surely, such a thing mades one unable to… relieve necessary tension-.”

“TMI Tannis…… TMI.” Gaige facepalmed herself. “I already have heard some things I rather not remember from Sir Hammerlock when we went on his big game hunt.”

“That we can agree on.” Axton said with a sigh. “That and his bad puns.” The mechromancer would agree with that. Even going as far as to thinking that Pinkie Pie would be unimpressed with his brand of humor if she had heard of it.

“So, back to the main topic… my only guess would be to look out for whenever you see a particular vault symbol. I would suggest that there locations may be based on the wielders of those… elements you suggested, but there’s no evidence supporting that.” Tannis replied back before deeply sighing. “Is there anything else you want to suggest before I end this… mediocre conversation? I would prefer trying to rest my brain and have it be used for other purposes rather than coming to grips with reality and finding out that talking ponies exist.”

“There is a reason Gaige called you, and that was to see if you could help us make a Tracker for the Vault pieces here.”

“The only way I would see that as being possible would be if there was some kind of sample I could work with. Unlike the vault and what we know about Sirens, the magic they speak of here is unfamiliar to me. Unless there’s some kind of energy sample of that, then I can’t make a tracker for you without proper information and resources.”

That had Twilight think for a small bit before looking back at Tannis. “What about if there was a way to send you information. I have articles and books here that go into detail on magic if you need to study it further.” The alicorn suggested.

“That… can be a start.” Tannis replied. “However, the documents need to be transmitted VIA Echo Device.”

“And how does that work?” Twilight asked… only leading for Tannis to sigh for a moment.

“Well… to put it in a more… simplified term, the ECHO device would literally need to scan everything. Even the pages of the report need to be scanned one at a time so nothing is overlooked.” The scientist explained. “Unless you can-.”

That was when they got some help from the most… unexpected of sources. “Allow me.” A certain draconequus replied, snapping his talon. A few moments later, Tannis was seen getting squashed by an entire mountain of papers… and one book on top of that. “Transmitting is overrated.”

“Discord… seriously?” Twilight sighed, looking back at the draconequus… all before hearing a comment farther down the hall from her student Starlight.

“Hey Twilight… your whole research section in your library regarding magic just vanished. What just happened?”

“…… DISCORD!!!!!” All the draconequus did was bow simply and then said ‘you're welcome’ before leaving the castle and leaving no trace behind.

“That… could provide more than enough information for Tannis now,” Gaige sighed with a smile on her face, before adding something witty to that statement. “If she can find a way to get herself out of the pile first.”

“Heh, true that. Now what should the next item on the list while we wait for Tannis?” 

That was when Twilight, now all focused again, decided to get up from the table. “Perhaps there’s something we can do around town first to pass the time while we wait.” She said before looking back at Axton and Gaige.

“Yeah… This whole talk on Vaults, Vault keys and such is making me tired. I think I’m just gonna take a nap for a bit.” Before either Twilight or Axton could say anything on the subject, the Mechromancer leaned back against a wall and drifted off to sleep.

“Heh, while a nap does sound nice, I’m going to go for a walk. Maybe head into that forest and see what else I can find in there.” Axton said as he got up and walked towards the door. When he reached the door however, he met a familiar face.

“Oh my… I didn’t expect you to be the door greeter this afternoon Axton,” Rarity said in a charming manner. Even with Axton wanting to walk out the door, the unicorn still had a few things to say. “Where are you going in a hurry, darling?”

“Well not anywhere in particular, just take a walk around the town. Maybe help if someone needs anything or just go back into the forest to see what else it has to offer.”  The Commando simply replied. 

“I see… before you do, darling. I wanted to ask you about something,” The unicorn then spoke up, proceeding to ask him a question that was on her mind at that particular moment. “Has Twilight told you about the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot coming up in a few days?”

“The what?” Axton asked, completely dumbfounded. All before a particular Alicorn soon remembered something.

“Oh right… I almost forgot,” She then spoke up, facing both the commando and her friend. “The Grand Galloping Gala is an event where all of the nobles and many well known ponies across Equestria and the Crystal Empire come and celebrate-.”

“Ugh… Unnecessary social interactions!!” They all heard Tannis groan as all three of them turned to Gaige’s Echo, which she left on the table as they could see the holographic image of Tannis herself. “This is the same reason why I nailed a dead skag on the front of my door when I first moved to Sanctuary!”

“Uhh… may I ask who exactly was that?” Rarity then asked, confused a little.

Axton then rubbed his neck as he sighed. “That would be Tannis, the one who is going to help us find the other pieces… once she gets all the data that was dropped on her sorted out.” Twilight herself sighed for a moment before clearing her throat.

“Anyways… there was one thing I wanted to mention to you before Gaige decided to go for a nap and you decided to go for a walk… which in turn may work with what Rarity was trying to say.” The Alicorn said, which confused Axton for a moment.

“What do you mean?”

Once again, Twilight sighed. The next part was not only hard for her to say… but what she was about to say… she knew for sure will come back to bite her. “Princess Celestia has invited all the vault hunters, new and old, to the Gala this year.”

“Mordecai, this is the EXACT REASON why I needed my dressy clothes!!” All of them heard Brick shout from the opposite end of the castle.





When Gaige had went to go lay down for a nap, she did not honestly expect for herself to wake up in what honestly looked like the world of a holo-sim game that would be played on her ECHO device. However, this place was… just rather strange. Almost vibrant like in Bunkers and Badasses, but more… trippy. “Okay, what kind of drug induced allusion did I wind up in?” All around her was the trees of multiple different dark colored shades before hearing something trotting towards her. Reaching for a weapon, but only for nothing to materialize. “Oh come on! Seriously?!”

“Easy there… We mean no harm.” She heard a voice call from behind her, only to turn around and notice a familiar face. It was another alicorn, and from what she remembered, this one happened to be Celestia’s sister.

Only problem though was that she couldn’t remember her name at first. “Oh… uh.. Hi there… You’re… Woona right? No, I mean… Lunafreya maybe? God, I suck at remembering names.”

“Just Luna is fine.” The Alicorn helped her, causing the Mechromancer to sigh in relief for a moment so she didn’t mess up her name.

“Ah thanks… So, uh… not to be rude princess… but where the hell are we?” She then asked, folding her arms and raising an eyebrow.

“We are in your dreams…”

“... Come again?”

“Your dreams,” Luna repeated herself. “This is your subconscious. It is the reason why you could not be able to bring out one of your weapons in order to defend yourself when you needed to a few moments ago.”

“Well that answers one of my questions at least,” The Mechromancer then replied, before speaking up. “So… Can you explain why you’re here? Or for that matter… why I’m here?”

“It seems that you have something in here that… well, to put it lightly, there is something here that seems to want to return to you. From experience, I’ve seen bad memories for some ponies turn into Nightmares… and I’m concerned that some of your memories would end up the same way.”

That just made Gaige a little more curious on one part. “How can you tell if a memory is bad or not?”

“Because it can bring back flashbacks of things in the past you had to do…” She then noticed something to her left as she turned to see a small orb, floating towards them. “And what do you know… this is a memory right here.”

“A memory?” Gaige was curious at that, reaching out her hand to touch the orb despite Luna saying otherwise. The orb glowed in reaction to her extended hand, having them hear a series of sounds that reminded Gaige of when she first came to Pandora… and what resulted on that train ride.

“It’s cute that y’all think that you’re the heroes of this little adventure… but you’re not…” The sound of that made Luna shudder a small bit before looking back at Gaige. Before she should ask though, there was one more statement in that particular memory that was said. “Welcome to Pandora, Kiddos!”

“W-who or what in Equestria was that?”

“Remember when we told you yesterday about our fight against Handsome Jack?” Gaige then asked. “What you just heard was him. This memory must be from when he tried to sabotage our train and left us for dead.” Shortly though, another orb was right next to it, prompting the Mechromancer to touch that one as she heard a different voice. One that was friendlier and had Luna be at ease.

“I’ll explain everything soon, but know this… you are alive for a reason, and I am here to help you.”

“And who would that be?”

“That would be when we first met Angel. With her assistance and also Claptrap helping us, we got out of the southern shelf and began to start our adventure on Pandora.” Gaige told her, not noticing any other orbs show up. “Why do you think these two though would be here? Unless they were trying to tell us something, then I don’t understand why they’re exactly here.”

“Perhaps it’ll be explained in due time. In that case, i’ll leave you be to rest.” Luna said, disappearing a few moments later. Yet… Gaige still had a few unanswered questions in the back of her head.

Like why was it that what Angel told her back then… had something to do with what was going on now? 

> Chapter 10: Clothes and Crashing a Gala
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been some time since Twilight had originally told Axton and Gaige about the Gala, but since then, the rest of the vault hunters (both new and old) were brought up to speed on the situation in a more detailed and informative letter from Princess Celestia herself. 

However, there was one… slight complication with preparing for the gala… and that was something Rarity had to handle personally. “Like I have said for a few times now, Brick. A tuxedo t-shirt does not qualify as dress clothes! If I am going to make you an outfit for the gala, I am not making just a tacky shirt for you.”

“NO, for the LAST time I am going in my DRESSY CLOTHES! AND IT IS NOT TACKY!!”

That was the first thing that, when the door opened, Gaige was greeted with as the sheer volume of Brick yelling almost caught her and Lilith by surprise. “What’s going on?” The Siren asked as Gaige was trying to clear out her ears and make sure that she wasn’t deaf.

“I’ve been trying to convince your friend here that a tuxedo t-shirt is not actually a tuxedo, but it seems like whatever I say goes through one ear and out the other.”

“Or into his ECHO spam folder.” Gaige sarcastically commented. “Still, I don’t see the reason why we need to wear clothes in our pony forms. You guys don’t normally wear clothes anywhere else around town.”

“It’s a formal party. Which would mean that you would have to wear formal clothes as well and not the ones you have now.” Rarity said… which did not sit well with Gaige.

“Oh no… I’m fine with a lot of things, but I draw a line when it comes to dresses. I haven’t even been to an event like this before.” The Mechromancer replied.

“You haven’t?” Lilith questioned. “I would’ve thought that since you lived up on Eden-5 and what not.”

“Yeah… sadly enough, the Marcie Holloway incident up there had me expelled from school and a wanted felon for just an accident.” Gaige paused, before saying the second half of her sentence. “If you call her being blown up into tiny pieces just by getting struck by Deathtrap an accident…”

“HELL YEAH, THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!”

“You did what?” Rarity now questioned, hearing this statement from Gaige.

“It’s a long story…” Gaige insisted, trying to not talk about it so much… only for her to take a deep sigh and actually speak on the matter moments later. “Back home, I had a rival classmate that copied my designs on Deathtrap and bribed the judges at the science fair I was trying to win. But her shoving me after the competition lead to Deathtrap identifying her as a threat and…… you might have a feeling where this is going.”

“The whole… blowing up thing?” Rarity then asked.

“Yeah… fortunately, my dad was able to buy me a distraction for me to make my escape using a golf kart and a lot of gasoline and got me a ticket to Pandora… Ironically, it was the same train that Axton and the rest of the vault hunters were on when it was sabotaged by Jack a few months ago.” The Mechromancer summed up her story.

“Wow… Honestly, I didn’t expect that the story of you having to escape a planet would lead to how you met up with Axton and them.” Lilith then spoke up. “Besides, there’s not a lot to say about Brick and I for that matter.”

“Speaking of Axton…” Gaige then replied, shortly before the Commando himself walked through the room and was looking around all over the place.

“Ok, what the hell is Brick yelling about this time?” The Commando asked as he walked in.

“Rarity told him that his Tuxedo shirt was tacky and not actually formal clothes.” Lilith said to bring him up to speed.

“And she expected him to comply with that?” The answer to his question was seen when the unicorn was now holding Brick by her levitation spell in the air.

“If you would just be compliant, I can make you some actual clothes… same goes for Axton.” She added while trotting to the back while Brick was still floating in the air.

“Can you at least let me down?” Brick asked, while looking very uncomfortable.

“Rarity, I appreciate you for asking but no thanks I’m good.” Axton said.

“Oh no, I insist… I do this for my friends all the time. I can just add a few more for each of you on the side.” She said, bringing Brick down to one of her rooms in the back as they could hear her hard at work. “Now just hold still or-.”

“OW!! WHAT THE HELL?!” They all hear Brick shout from said room. 

“I told you to hold still darling. The needles I’m using to sew your clothes together are very sharp-.” Rarity tried to calm him down… unsuccessfully.

“I TOLD YOU I DON’T NEED NEW CLOTHES! MINE ARE PERFECTLY FINE THE WAY THEY ARE!! AND THOSE NEEDLES F*CKING HURT!!!” That just had Gaige look at Lilith and Axton as she then posed a question.

]“Should I be amused that Rarity is trying to man handle Brick… or be worried that we might be next?” The Mechromancer asked.

“I think the latter would be the right one… However what are the odds we see Brick go rage mode?” The Commando responded.

“Unless there’s something cute and cuddly to calm him down, then…” Lilith said, just as she noticed a white cat happen to slip through the door that Rarity had taken Brick. “Wait… did anyone else see that cat?”

“Oh sorry, Opal. I didn’t notice you were in here.” They heard Rarity say… followed by something else a few moments later. “Well now… I think she likes you Brick.”

That even had Lilith surprised as she sighed for a moment. “Hunh… Never thought that Brick was into cats since he spent most of his time with Dusty until the Sheriff of Lynchwood did a number on him. Poor puppy.”

“Alright, as long as I can hold the cat, I will stand still. Sound good?” Brick soon said. In which Rarity agreed with as she got to work.

“Wow… That is… surprising… Rarity can now be added to the small list of people that found a way to calm Brick.” Gaige then commented. “Again… small list.”

“Very small… and that will soon mean we will be next.” Axton then sighed heavily. “Great that means I will be in a monkey suit, Grand.”

“More like a formal suit a stallion would wear,” Lilith corrected him. “The letter Twilight read to us did say that Princess Celestia wanted us to be in our pony forms so we don’t draw attention to ourselves… course, that doesn’t stop Brick or Mordecai sometimes, but you get the point.”

“That also means you’re getting a dress too. Along with Maya and I.” Gaige reminded her… which upon realizing that, did not suit well with the Siren.

“…… Well sh*t.”

“Yeah… Us and… oh sh*t… I forgot Tina as well.” The Mechromancer realized.

“I think Tina won’t mind that much, and for the record I am still calling it a monkey suit.” 

“Yeah, just wait until she tries to get Krieg into a suit… If Brick was hard mode, then Krieg is like beyond that.” Gaige then replied to Axton’s comment.

“If she can manage that, I would honestly be impressed. And I mean with him keeping the shirt on.” The Commando then said.

“You mean getting it on him? Because Krieg doesn’t-.”

“PECS ON PECS!!!” All three of them heard from outside as they saw him with Tiny Tina and the Cutie Mark Crusaders riding piggyback.

“Well, time to find out if she can handle it.”

“Yeah… you go do that… I gotta trade some things out in my inventory really fast so… yeah.” Before Axton or Lilith could ask, Gaige was out of there rather quickly. Leaving both of them rather startled… and confused.

“Any reason why she would be in such a hurry?” Lilith asked the commando.

“Do you really need to ask that? I mean it should be somewhat obvious.” Axton replied in a flat tone. “And as much as I hate to say it, it would be easier to get this out of the way instead of pushing on the embarrassment even further.”

“Heh… I’m with you on that one… Though, I’m not sure if Mordecai would exactly be open to this. Matter of fact, Salvador.” She added on to what she was originally saying.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Brick just dragged Mordecai here. But you are right about Salvador, who knows what he will do.” Axton then sighed. “How much longer until she’s done, I mean I haven’t been this anxious in a while.”

“Just a trim of this hair… one last stitch and WALA! Done!” They heard Rarity in the back say as it sounded like she was finishing up with Brick. “Now, I made it loose enough to where you can easily move around in it, but don’t be trying to yank it off or else you’ll tear the threads… Now, Brick… can you do me a favor and tell me about your friend Lilith. I’m trying to think of some ideas for her dress and need some… inspiration.”

“Hmm, well before she joined up with the other Vault Hunters after Jack attacked New Haven, she was known as the Firehawk. Do you think that could work?” Brick soon commented.

“That… really does! I’ve always been wanting to do a dress based off of a phoenix!! This is just MARVELOUS!!” Hearing Rarity though surprised both of the vault hunters in the waiting room because of one thing she said.

“Uh… how do you know about a phoenix?” Brick asked.

“Why Celestia has one named Philomena. Why do you ask, dear?” Now Lilith herself was a bit curious on her part as well.

“She has one as a pet? Seriously?!” 

“Yep, everypony has some kind of pet. Twilight has an owl, Applejack has her dog Winowa, Pinkie Pie has her alligator Gummy, Rainbow Dash has her tortoise named Tank…” The Unicorn began to tell her as Axton and Lilith were walking over to where they were right now so Rarity could be ready for them. “I have Opal, which you are petting, and Fluttershy has her bunny named Angel.”

Brick then stopped petting Opal and set her down, before sighing deeply. “Why does that name have to be brought up now?” He said as he rubbed his chin.

“Oh… I’m sorry, did I somehow trouble you?” Rarity asked, trying to sound apologetic like she had done something wrong.

“It has nothing to do with you, just the name “Angel”, it brings up some bad memories is all.” Brick just said, before shaking his head. “Anyway, while I don’t normally like to admit it, you did a nice job on the suit.” before muttering under his breath “Even though I would much rather use my dressy clothes.” 

“I heard that, Brick.” Lilith then commented, which had both of them looking back at Lilith and Axton as she spoke up. “Sorry, am I interrupting something? I kind of heard you guys talking about me and I was wondering what’s up.”

“Rarity here just needed inspiration for your dress, and I told her you were once known as the Firehawk.”

“Right… is she asking for a demonstration or is it just something to help spark some creativity?” She then asked. “Because we know that Zer0 gets creative by forming haiku’s with his regular speech.” It was then she noticed the Unicorn using her magic to go through multiple rolls of fabric, all of them in which demonstrated particular qualities similar to that of burning flames as the siren then realized what she meant. “Oh… Nevermind then.”

“Well I think it is safe to say who is next, so I will be outside waiting then.” Axton said as he walked away, awaiting his turn. Shortly before Gaige came back through the door a few moments later with another pony alongside her.

“Oh hey… I was coming back from the storage unit Mr. Torgue had set up a few days ago and Starlight was going to the boutique as well, so now we’re here.” Gaige said as the mare next to her said a brief ‘hello’ for a short moment. “I was wanting to add some things to my inventory that I picked up from when we went through Tannis’ training gauntlet sometime back.”

“And those were?” 

“Something that would probably make Salvador jealous.” Gaige chuckled.

“Alright, well Brick just got done, so now it is Lilith's turn with Rarity.” Axton then informed her.

“So we have Lilith and you… followed by Starlight, since she still needed to get her dress done, and then me… I really wish that mine doesn’t turn out really… well… girly.” Gaige groaned for a moment as she looked around in order to keep her mind off things.

“I just hope this goes over fast, I mean the last time I was in a suit was when I got married, even if it was somewhat more military formal, I still hate the suits. I much rather prefer my current attire.” The Commando said. Which seemed to get the attention of Gaige and Starlight for a few moments.

Because it wasn’t going to be much longer until it was their turn to have Rarity prepare a dress for them… and from the way she handled Brick… Gaige was not sure whether to be relieved… or concerned for when it was her turn.



It had been some time since Rarity had begun designing the clothes for the vault hunters as well as Tiny Tina. It may have been… well… difficult at first given that she had to allow room for the pair of wings that both Tina and Mordecai had on hand as well as trying to get Krieg to cooperate, but nevertheless, she endeavoured and was… actually quite successful to say the least.

As in terms with suits, the seamstress was able to make them for Salvador, Zer0, Krieg and Axton along with Mordecai too. Each one with a different collared shirt on the inside to tell them apart from one another. Salvador and Mordecai had an orange collared shirt, Axton was green, Zer0 was gray and Krieg was bright red. She would’ve wanted to add some ties or bowties to top it all off, but the idea would just make the rest of the process a bit harder since she was unsure if she would have enough time… or fabric in order to make them.

As for Dresses, all she needed to do was make them for Lilith, Maya, Gaige, Tina and also Starlight since this was her first Galloping Gala. For Lilith, hers were based on what Brick had told the Seamstress about when she was once known by the bandits on Pandora as the Firehawk. Maya’s was different since unlike Lilith, used more than one element when it came to her powers. So Rarity was able to come up with a dress that reflected each of the specific elements that Maya would use not just in combat, but also with the weapons she would use. Starlight’s was easy since she did the color of her dress based on both her magic and also her cutie mark as well to match things up quite well.

Gaige and Tina were the trickier ones though. For the Mechromancer, Rarity had to come to a tough decision revolving around if she were to do her dress based on either her robot, Deathtrap… or her cutie mark. It was a tough decision, but Gaige decided to help move things along by having the colors for the dress itself be based on her school uniform so she wouldn’t have to take things overboard with the design and make things simple.

Yet, for Tina… well… that was what was currently being rather… difficult for her. Mostly because she couldn’t decide what colors she would want for her dress. Originally, she thought the same color of her clothes like Gaige, but then thought that a dress that resembled gunpowder and sticks of dynamite would be more badass than just a regular dress… that or she would have to do the dress for Princess Fluffy butt.

Not to mention that her other ideas were a dress based on either chocolate chip cookies or crumpets. “I want to have the dress make me look like a WALKING CRUMPOCALYPSE!!”

“Tina, you just can’t expect Rarity to-.”

“You were able to get your dress based off of a firebird, free lily, so I want it to be as BADASS as possible!” The 13 years old demolitionist snapped. Which in turn made the siren sigh a bit.

“Maybe you can do yours based off of your normal clothes like mine and then add to it?” Gaige then suggested.

“I… girl, you make a valid point.” This, came as a surprise to almost everyone. Tina had been rather indecisive for almost an hour and just with one small idea from Gaige, she now had solved something that could’ve been fixed way earlier. Meaning that Rarity would’ve had an extra hour in order to prepare it for her. “I’ll go with what she said.”

“Did it… really take you an hour just to decide what colors you wanted?” Lilith then questioned as she looked back at Tina with a raised eyebrow. Only for it to be utterly ignored as Tina was prancing around in place happily.

“You do you realize this is Tina we’re talking about, right?” Axton asked her.

“I get that, it’s just… normally when it comes to decisions, she either takes her time or makes her choice rather quickly. Never has she taken almost an hour in order to decide something before.” The Siren told the commando while she was still getting adjusted to both her pony form and the newly crafted dress.

“While true, I am just not surprised with something like this.” The Commando said as he then stared down at his suit in annoyance. “I just hope this will be the only time I wear this.”

“Come on now, wearing a suit isn’t that bad now… is it?” She then said, looking back around the room and also outside. “Oh hey look, Spike’s wearing a tuxedo jacket.”

“Uh… Why is he wearing a tux? I thought he wouldn’t want to dress up for something like this.”

“Perhaps he’s helping out with the festivities,” Gaige replied, looking to see him walking towards the boutique. “Matter of fact, why don’t you ask him yourself?”

“I guess.” Axton then walks out and meets up with Spike. “So Spike, what's up with the tux?”

“Ah!” He shouted for a moment, before shaking his head. “Sorry Axton. Didn’t quite recognize you with the suit on.”

“... I got nothing to say to that that doesn’t end with me punching something.” Axton mutters. “I got this suit from Rarity for the Gala, but why do you have one?” 

“Oh, did Twilight not tell you? I’m coming along with you guys. Discord too… for some reason.” The Dragon shrugged before looking back at him.

“Alright, well after an hour, Tina finally has a design that Rarity will work with.”

“It took her an hour? That’s less than the amount of time it took for Rarity to come up with the designs for Twilight and them during their first time at the Gala.” Spike pointed out.

“Well the thing is, normally Tina would have made a decision a while ago, but she said she wanted a dress that was badass. And it wasn’t till Gaige pointed something out that she finally figured out what she wanted.” Axton clarified for him as the dragon began to understand what he was talking about.

“I see… Well, trust me on this, the gala sometimes seems to attract the weirdest shenanigans sometimes. Last time, Discord thought that a friend of Fluttershy’s was trying to take her away from him and… it’s a long and pretty weird story.” Spike replied. “One involving a Smooze, puppet dimensions and other random things only a chaos spirit would have knowledge about.”

“Well, that does sound weird, but considering I dealt with a lot of weird on Pandora. Though that is still weird.”

“Not as weird as when Athena told us about how she and a few others went inside Claptrap’s brain.” Lilith pointed out.

“Oh yeah, I remember!” Tina then spoke up. “The de-origin story!”

Spike just raised an eyebrow at that, but decided to keep it to himself when Gaige told him that it would be better for him not to ask in the first place. “Right… Well, just to let you guys know, the train for Canterlot will be leaving close to sundown so Twilight advises you that if you need to make any sort of preparations, to do so beforehand.”

“Thanks buddy, but I’m good to go right now.” Gaige informed him. “What about you, Axton?”

“Same here, all set to go.” 

“Yeah, a lot of us are already ready ahead of schedule. Zer0 himself is even trying to meditate.” The Mechromancer pointed out as she pointed a hoof at where Zer0 was sitting as he was in a pony style lotus position. “Doing pretty well too from the looks of things.”

“Not surprised since it is him, I just wonder how long it took him to do so.” Axton commented on Zer0 and his meditation. All they could see from his forehead was the letters ‘thx’ while he continued to remain in that position.

“So I guess this means we’re almost ready then… any idea what you think the party is going to be like?” Gaige asked Axton for a moment.

“Since we have to dress up like this… Boring as f*ck is my guess.”

“Honestly, it depends on if they got a full bar or not,” Lilith then stated. “I know Mordecai’s not drinking anymore, but I know that Moxxi would think that at any party, someone’s bound to get thirsty… and no, I don’t mean it in that way if that was what you were going to ask.”

“What way?” Spike posed the question, causing Gaige to sigh a little.

“We’ll tell you when you’re older.”



It took a few hours to get everyone dressed up and ready to go to Canterlot as they were soon approaching the train station for the city. The ladies had their dresses, including Tiny Tina, and the guys all had their suits too. Yet… none of them were actually expecting who was going to be greeting them that evening.

“Greetings fair travelers-... Holy *bleep*! Minions!! Who knew that you were invited to this weird ass, but awesome party!” Yes… it was Claptrap… and judging from his appearance, it looked like the panels of the robot now resembled a tuxedo as he greeted everyone.

“And just when I thought we were going to have a calm evening…” Maya sighed, while Gaige agreed with the siren on what she said.

“Welp, if I am going to survive this evening with him, I need alcohol.” Axton commented, shortly before another one of the vault hunters soon agreed with him… in their own way of course.

“MOTHER’S MILK!”

“Uhh… What was that about?” Twilight asked, followed by Lilith asking the same thing as everyone got off of the train and began to walk towards Celestia’s castle.

“Around a few months ago, a friend of ours in Sanctuary named Moxxi was trying to get two lovers from rival families that really hated each other to get married so the war between them could end. However, when there was trouble in paradise, she wanted us to get the ingredients for a love potion by getting something new, something old, something borrowed and something gold. The old part happened to be old whiskey… and Krieg himself was doing the taste testing.” Maya then explained. Which, of course, had surprised the original three vault hunters since they didn’t quite exactly hear about this at all.

“That’s new… Moxxi never told us about it.”

“For good reason,” Salvador then spoke up. “Wedding day turned to wedding day massacre!”

“Salvador!!” Gaige snapped, shortly before the Gunzerker then spoke up as everypony else’s faces were either stunned beyond belief… or horrified.

“What? It’s true!”

“I want to hear all that happened, sounds like I missed a hell of a wedding!” Brick said shortly afterward.

“All that talk about a love potion reminds me of one that mah sis and her friends tried to use to get my brother to fall in love with their teacher… fortunately, they were able to reverse it.” Applejack said, before posing a question that really caught Axton and Gaige off guard. “What happened to the couple?”

“Uhhh… it was called a massacre for a reason.” Axton hesitantly said.

That single statement caused the color from Fluttershy’s face to disappear in a heartbeat. “Oh… my…”

“Really Axton?” Gaige then asked. “Maybe this is the reason why you don’t do so well with the ladies, Axton. You either scare them or your ego gets ahead of ya.”

“What, did you want me to just say we killed them after they drank that potion that caused them to go into a bloodthirsty rage?”

“That could’ve helped…” Twilight mentioned, having all eyes on her now. “What? I mean, with that, Axton says that they did it in self defense.”

“Well, I still missed out on something fun. Now, I think we should go “introduce” ourselves to these ponies.” Brick called out to the rest as he started to walk off. 

“And I think we should stay with him just to make sure that his way of introductions… doesn’t involve punching them.” Mordecai then said as he and Lilith soon followed Brick inside while some of the other ponies soon went around the castle while Axton and Gaige mostly stayed with Starlight and Spike as they walked throughout the courtyard outside of Celestia’s castle.

“So Spike, what can expect from the other ponies here?” Axton asked to start a conversation.

“Well it depends… some of the nobles, like Fleur de Lis and Fancy Pants are fine. But others like Prince Blueblood… are stuck up jerks.”

“Seems like the ones I hate, and I would not be surprised if the ones like this Blueblood meet Brick. That would be a riot.” Axton finished with a smile.

“Yeah, he better be careful though. Despite his personality, he’s actually Celestia’s nephew.” Spike informed him. “One time though, Rarity really chewed him out for when he used her as a shield to protect himself when food was being thrown around everywhere… at least, that was what I was told.”

“Well him being related to Celestia won’t matter to him, though he is the type I really just want to give them a good kick in the balls, see if they can speak a few tones higher.” 

“I would want to punch him with my metal arm and then see him trying to walk out of here afterwards.” Gaige chuckled in response

“Now that I would pay for, just to see him walk and his reaction.” Axton smiled wide at that thought.

“I… would have to agree. That does seem interesting… but I have never seen or heard of this Blueblood guy before-.” Starlight said… just as they saw a golden mane stallion race out of the room to dump his head in a fountain.

“ …… I betcha ten bucks if that was Blueblood and Maya or Lilith got to him first before we did.” Gaige then replied. “Is that him, Spike?”

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“Well, should we push him in or…” Axton said leaving the question open for suggestions.

“I don’t know… I kinda wanna watch and see what happens. Who knows if this is just a warning or not.” Gaige mentioned, which Starlight and Spike agreed on as they saw the prince have pieces of a burned mane and his clothes partially burned.

“I think that answers some questions, Lilith is not in a good mood right now.” Axton commented with a flat look on his face.

“Right… and everything seems a little boring right now, so I’ll excuse myself for a moment,” Gaige said as she trotted over to where the bar was on the other side of the room and then stated something. “Barkeep, do you happen to have any whiskey?”

The stallion in charge there looked back at Gaige, a little puzzled for a moment before he asked her something. “Aren’t you too young to be drinking, lady?”

Gaige’s answer… was an Unkempt Harold pointed at the barkeep’s face… followed by one of her own questions as she held the weapon with her magic. “Aren’t you too old to be asking stupid questions?”

Axton then walked over to the bar, while the barkeep was going cross-eyed and shaking in fear. “Better make that two, i'm having a somewhat boring time and need something to drink.”

“O-okay, what would you like?” He then asked, before Gaige then spoke up as she decided what she wanted.

“Just something light for me… for my friend here, give him something with a kick.” The barkeep nodded and trotted off, while Gaige put her weapon away as Axton looked back at her.

“Works for me, and cool it with the weapons a little. He didn’t deserve that… maybe.” 

“Hey, I hate it when people try to use my age as an excuse to deny me something. I may be 16, but I act a hell of a lot older around you guys.” Gaige replied back to her, while Starlight was sitting to her left and asked for some water. Spike himself went to go check on the others while the three of them were taking a break and getting a drink.

Once the barkeep got back and served the drinks, Gaige and Axton used the chance to try to unwind a little while also starting up a conversation with Starlight. The three of them soon took the conversation outside, but over the course of it, have been noticing that many ponies have been moving indoors instead of staying out. 

“I guess they don’t like the outdoors so much. Oh well more room for us.” the Commando said. Starlight originally laughed at that… but after a few moments, she noticed something that made her lose the grip on her drink and stare behind both vault hunters as her pupils began to shrink and her eyes widened.

“You okay, Glim?” Gaige asked, finishing her drink for a moment. However, Starlight was paralyzed with fear and only when the Mechromancer turned around could she see why.

“Oh son of a taint…” She said, looking at what was behind her. “Axton… We got trouble.”

“What kind of trouble… Sh*t.” Axton said as he turned around.

What was behind them was what looked the Guardians that Athena had described on her visit to Elpis. But there was a difference to them, for one their mask like face were more of a pony like design to them. Their bodies looked they had some fur to them, but the rest of the upper body were shaped similar to that of the guardians from Elpis… and then looked rather angry.

"W-what are those-?” Starlight asked, before Gaige turned to her.

“Starlight, get help-.” Those were the only words she said before the guardians went at both of them.

“Leave the pony alone, these two have what the master needs.” One of the Guardians said in a low, raspy voice.

“Woah woah woah! What the hell is their problem with me-!?” Gaige snapped, before one of the guardians lunged at her and knocked her backwards.

“Damn it all, try and fight back!” Axton snapped back as he tried to shoot the guardians coming after him with the Sandhawk.

“It would be easier if you didn’t fight back.” Another guardian chuckled, confident that they would take them away. Gaige thought of that line for a moment, and then got an idea as she did not fire off her weapons immediately like Axton was doing. Instead, she waited to draw hers out once the guardians thought that they got her.

Then, she brought our her little… surprise. “Eat lead, suckas!!” Digistructing from her hands was a red colored shotgun with a torgue manufactured barrel, but upon squeezing the trigger, it fired off multiple shotgun rounds continuously and at rates that would honestly make someone think she was using an assault rifle. Not before long was her focus on the guardian that was going after Axton instead of her. “Axton, you alright?!”

“Heh, here's your answer, Time to start Chewing them up!” Axton yelled out as he pulled out his two turrets… while as they fired at the guardian, one of them moved a hand up and slowed the bullets down and making them stop… before having them turn back around and aimed at Axton as they began to pick up speed.

“Oh come the F*CK ON!!” the Commando yelled, while being thankful he had the Sham on right now. However, the more shots that were fired from his turrets meant the more that were redirected back at him… which ultimately depleted his shield and left him vulnerable.

“I call hacks!!” Gaige shouted.

“God damn it all.” Axton coughed a little blood up as well. That was when Gaige noticed something and raced on over. Doing something that the commando did not expect and actually reclaiming his turrets as they reverted back to their case.

“Um, what did you do to my turrets?”

“I reverted them back to when you carried them,” She said, looking back at him. “If you haven’t noticed by now, the reason why your shield went down was because they were redirecting your turrets fire back at you. If you just put them away, then it’s no longer a problem since there would be nothing for the guardian to send back at you.”

“True, but that won’t stop them from attacking us directly.” Just as they said that, Axton felt himself get grabbed as he was taken away. However, as the guardian was leaving… and before Gaige could get a shot off… something else happened.

“None of that now. The master has something special planned for you.” A guardian said as it grabbed Gaige and carried her off.

“H-hey, lay off already-!!” She snapped, struggling to get some room as the guardians grip around her tightened and made it harder for her to switch weapons.

Soon enough a gunshot was heard and the Guardian that was holding Gaige fell over. 

“Don’t worry now Vault Hunter, I got you covered.” An all too familiar voice said to her. The mechromancer was still trying to process what exactly happened… or what exactly was going on. But it was only when she got her head back in the game and remembered about Axton that she heard him say something. Something that… not only caught her off guard, but also made her wonder how such a thing was possible.

Axton heard the gunshot from behind him but was too far away to see who it was.

“Would you let go of me dammit!” Axton continued to struggle before another gunshot was heard and he dropped to the ground. Shaking his head he got up and noticed he was surrounded by guardians. He quickly got out his shotgun before something else happened. A turret formed around him with a healing field and shield. One that he has seen before.

“Keep fighting Vault Hunter.” A voice calls out next to him.

Axton simply smirked when he saw who it is. “Wasn’t planning on stopping, Roland.”

> Chapter 11: Unexpected Reunion
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once Gaige heard the voice of someone that she thought for a fact was dead, multiple possibilities went through her head as to why Roland of all people would be here. Several of them involved it being an illusion or some kind of trick, but others made her think of the ECHOnet films with someone yelling 'It's a trap!' in the background just when you think that they were going to get a happy ending. Yet, she couldn't exactly think straight given the current situation. She was more focused on these guardians and the likelihood that they wanted to kidnap both her and Axton. Something that she wasn't going to allow. Not by a longshot.

Luckily enough, she remember to add a few of the weapons that just so happened to fall into her hands when Tannis had them go through Digistruct Peak. One such weapon... was the Butcher. A Hyperion Shotgun with a insanely fast fire rate and the potential possibility of regenerating ammo as fast as the amount of ammo she would use. Which was useful in the sense that the fire rate was quick enough to blast off the face of the guardian that was trying to kidnap her. Once on her feet, the Mechromancer called upon Deathtrap to make sure that she had someone to watch her back. "Klaatu Barada Nikto!"

"Gaige, what the hell is going on? We're getting commotion over here about crazy aliens and what not." She heard Maya over her ECHO device.

"Yeah, remember when we were all told about those eridian guardians by Athena? Well, several of them showed up to try and kidnap Axton and I." Gaige told her as she fired another round at an approaching Eridian guardian. "Just keep everyone and don't-"

"BIENVENIDOS A LA FIESTA, AMIGOS!!!"

"-tell Salvador." She sighed, before hearing the sound of twin Unkempt Harolds firing at rapid speeds. "You know what, screw what I said before. Have the princesses calm everypony else down and get the hell over here now!!"

"Anything else you want to add to that?" The sirens question had the Mechromancer thinking for a moment before Gaige decided to speak.

"Yeah, don't flip out once you see who else is over here. I don't even know what the hell is going on at this rate." Gaige said before putting her ECHO away. She knew that everyone in one form or another were going to lose their minds once they find out that Roland was somehow here. But her main focus right now is trying to defend herself...

And have fun while doing it as a bullet ricocheted off one of the statue's in Celestia's garden and resulted in a headshot to a guardian Axton was fighting. "DOINK!!"

"I got some for EVERBODY!!!" Axton yelled out as he swapped to his shredifier and started unloading the magazine into any guardian he saw.

"Be careful not to get too enthusiastic there Vault Hunter." Roland casually called out while standing at his back taking pot shots at Guardians in his line of sight.

"Yeah, yeah." Doing his best not to whip around and ask Roland a very glaring question at the front of his mind.

"Come at me, jokers! The fun's just getting started!" Gaige shouted at the incoming guardians while switching weapons to her Unkempt Harold. Even though she did not see one stray guardian that tried to catch her off guard... another vault hunter did.

"Fear me, bitches!!"

"Nice timing, Maya!!"

One of the Guardians that stayed back and watched could growl out in frustration.

"Retreat, this is a lost cause for now. "All the Guardians in Canterlot stop and start teleporting out. "This is only the first wave, Hunters. " Then the Guardian teleported out.

"Yeah keep running you little Bitches!" Axton shouted, which, caused the Mechromancer and the rest of the Commando's teammates to catch up with him after everything that had just happened.

Yet, before she could say anything to him, Roland or anyone else... Gaige began to feel a little bit exhausted and also sleepy. Which, in turn, lead to her saying one last thing before passing out. "You guys go ahead... I need to take five... uhh."

"Gaige, are you alright-?" Maya asked, before her fellow vault hunter passed out on the ground.

"I guess that took a lot out of her, somehow." Axton commented.

"While that may be true, can either of you explain where I am?" Roland asked for Maya or Axton to explain.

"That... May be a lot to explain... and you might not believe most of it." Maya replied, personally wanting to add on and say how she didn't believe that Roland was not dead, but decided to restrain herself.

"Well, that may be easier than you may think considering the last thing I remember is getting shot in back and now I am here without a bullet wound in my chest." Roland said while cautiously rubbing the area where he got shot. "But care to give a brief explanation before getting into a more detailed version."

"Well, to put it simply for now, we are on a new planet where we got summoned to because a vault appeared here and the locals are all ponies." Axton simply told him.

"That... I don't really know how I'm supposed to react to that." Roland said in disbelief.

"Trust me... Lilith and the others thought the same thing... But Tina's taking it well... oddly enough." Maya added on.

"Wait, Tina's here?" Roland said in shock.

"AW MAN!! I MISSED ALL THE FUN!!!" They all heard Tina shout... seconds before seeing Roland and tackling him to the ground in utter joy. "ROLY POLY!!!"

"Wait... Her nickname for you is... Roly Poly?" Maya asked, sounding rather surprised to hear that.

Roland just lets out a small sigh and chuckles. "Yeah, that's her nickname for me." As he then gets up and puts her on his shoulders.

"Well, whatever works for her I guess." Axton comments. That soon lead to Maya noticing the other vault hunters coming over... and then Twilight and her friends as well. And when Roland saw Lilith... the first thing that the siren did...

Was slap him in the face. "You have a LOT of explaining to do..."

"Lilith, calm down just a moment..."

"Calm down? First I hear that Guardians were coming out of nowhere and trying to kidnap you two and now I find out that my thought to be dead boyfriend is still somehow alive!" The siren snapped as Maya looked back at both of them.

"Look, even he doesn't know how he ended up here, so just calm down a moment..."

"Yeah, Lily!! With Roly Poly and everyone else here, we got the ENTIRE FAMILY!!" Tina declared as her wings extended forth and a shower of sparkles were released from her horn. Just causing Maya to facepalm herself in response.

"Right..." The siren replied for a moment. Yet, as she motioned her left arm to where Gaige's metal arm would be, that was when she noticed that her tattoo's were beginning to glow. "O... kay, that's never happened before. My arm's never reacted to her like that, not even on Pandora."

"Seriously? That's just... weird." Lilith then said. "Whatever the case, you three are going to need to explain to the princess' why you had a series of guardian corpses drop all over her outdoor garden faster than when shooting at Rakk."

That was when Axton, Maya and Roland looked to see Princess Celestia... who was standing next to Salvador of all people... staring at the carnage that stood before her with extremely wide eyes, one that was twitching as well, as she was trying to show some form of non existent restraint. "Explanation... NOW!!!!!"

"Aw shi-"




For the Mechromancer, she personally can't think straight right now with the inside of her head pounding like crazy. However, when she woke up, it wasn't in the Princess' gardens... but in a densely populated forest. Something in which looked very disturbing and had the makeup of a low budget ECHO horror film. "Ugh... Why can't I just have an aspirin and go on with life like a normal person?" she groaned, trying to make sense of where she was while her head continued to hurt.

Farther ahead though, she saw what looked to be a soft light. Something in which helped her see what was in the darkness... and something that Gaige began to follow. "Over here... This way..."

"O... kay, why am I getting Bunkers and Badasses flashback's now?" She asked herself, but decided to follow anyways since she had no other options at this point. As she followed the light though, she found herself appearing in the same place that Axton had found the first piece of the vault key here. But things were awfully quiet. No strange noises or anything.

"Thank you for believing me... However, this isn't the end of your journey just yet."

"Wait... Are you-?" Before Gaige could even speak though, a bright flash of light went off, blinding her instantly as she tried to make sense of what was happening in that moment.




It was after this that Gaige woke up with a startled gasp as she tried to make sense of what she had just seen… as well as make sense of where exactly she was right now. Everything seemed... unfamiliar. Especially with the amount of books that were in the room that she woke up in. "Okay... did someone forget to take me to an infirmary and took me to their library instead?"

"You're actually in my old room." The Mechromancer turned around to see Twilight at the door as she looked back at her. "I'm glad to see your okay... Lilith and Maya were a bit worried for you after you passed out."

"Seriously? Why would they be worried? I think they both know I could handle myself." The Mechromancer replied back.

"Honestly, I don't know... Everyone's still a bit surprised about what happened, including your friend Axton," She replied, before sighing for a moment. "At least everything's over for now."

That... had Gaige raise an eyebrow in response. "Wait... For now? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Axton said that the guardians that retreated mentioned something about this being only a first wave. Something that is still mind boggling in itself." That... only caused Gaige to groan even more at the sound of that, confusing Twilight. "What?"

"Twilight, that just only means that there"s going to be more of those freaks showing up later. A wave of guardians is another way of saying a pack of timberwolves." She told the alicorn. "Where the hell is Axton?"

"I can go get him for you if you like..." That soon lead to Twilight leaving for a moment... before Gaige soon heard the Commando sounding like he was getting dragged through a hallway.

"YOU KNOW I CAN DO THIS MYSELF JUST FINE!!!" Axton yelled out. "I DON'T NEED THIS SH*T FROM YOU AS WELL!!"

"Good to see that you are awake as ever." Gaige replied with a chuckle.

Axton then looked toward Gaige. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway how are you feeling, you were out for a few hours."

"Fine... Wait, hold up. A few hours!?!" Gaige snapped. "How the buck was I out for that long?!"

"Well right after the Guardians left you just became exhausted and passed out." Axton said calmly. "Then we brought you here to rest up, Got Roland caught up with all that happened since his death and apparent rebirth, and got bitched out by Celestia. Man I can still feel some ringing in my ears." He then started to rub his ears.

"Well, you're not going to like what I have to say then..." The Mechromancer sighed. "That attack that happened last night... it's only the first."

"Yeah I figured that already." Axton then brought out his piece of the key. "I think it would be safe to say they were after me because of this and we can expect them either coming after us or guarding the rest of the pieces." Axton then looks at Gaige. "However that doesn't explain why they were after you."

"Honestly, I'm not sure why either..." She sighed, before thinking to herself. "But I might know one possible reason... one in which he wouldn't really believe at all."

"Well we might be able to find that out in the future. But for now, you good to walk?" Axton asked as he got up and waited by the door.

"Yeah, I think so." She replied back, getting up from the bed. "How"s everyone taking the whole... well... Roland situation?"

"In their own way. Tina's overjoyed and Lilith, well she is taking somewhat well." Axton sighed heavily, before letting out a smile. "But overall they are happy he is back."

"Well, we'll need all the help we could get if we're going to find the rest of those vault key pieces..." The Mechromancer sighed. "And when I meant everyone, I also meant Tannis."

Axton just lets a big smile at that. "As much as this might bite me in the ass later, I can't wait to see how she will react when she gets here."

"If she gets here..." Gaige reminded him. "Right now, the situation's not too extreme to the point that we need her to be right here with us... also, her social etiquette would not work well in Ponyville since she doesn't do well with conversations."

"Good point, and now there is only one other person who still needs to meet Roland, Gaige you still have Mr. Torgue on the ECHO?" Axton asked her as they were walking.

"Yeah, I probably do. He self added himself on my contacts and he's in my call history on my ECHO."

Mentally preparing himself Axton simply said. "Call him." Gaige nodded, doing so for a moment before they heard another voice shout on the line.

"SWEETIE! IT'S YOUR ECHO DEVICE!!"

"HOLD ON, GRANDMA! I'M ALMOST THERE!!!"

"Uuuh, I know I shouldn't question that, but yet why does his Grandma have his ECHO?" Axton simply said.

"Maybe he's visiting his Grandma's house?" Gaige asked, shrugging for a moment.

"OH HEY GUYS!! I WAS WANTING TO SEE HOW YOU WERE DOING, BUT MY GRANDMA NEEDED SOME HELP WITH HER BRIDGE GROUP AT HER RETIREMENT HOME!! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE F**K BRIDGE IS!!!" They heard Mr. Torgue shout as his voice echoed throughout the hallway. "ANYWAYS, HOW ARE YOU DOING?!!"

"We're doing good Mr. Torgue, just we have some news for you, and it would best if you are sitting down when we tell you."

"Yeah, what we need to say may surprise you." Gaige added.

"OH COME ON NOW! BARELY ANYTHING IS SURPRISING TO ME!!!"




Meanwhile...

"So the old team is back together... just like old times." Mordecai spoke up as he looked back at Brick and Roland. "I would question how this is happening... but then again, there's a lot of things we aren't understanding right now."

Roland then goes over to Mordecai. "Hey Mordecai, I have to ask this why don't you smell like Rakk Ale as much?"

That had the hunter chuckling a bit before he answered his friends question. "Well... after we took down that Handsome son of a bitch, I happened to find an egg that was of the same species of bird as Bloodwing. I named him Talon and since I'm raising him like he's my own kid, I thought I would give up on drinking so I could be a good role model for him."

"Heh, well I have to say good for you."

"Yeah true, but then how long until you start drinking again?" Brick chuckles.

"Well right now, I'm trying to be sober and stay that way Brick. Even Moxxi's in support of the change." Mordecai replied back. "Though, she didn't want me bringing Talon into her bar after he started trying to tear out her customer's hair."

"I hope you can stay sober then Mordecai. Still though, it feels a little weird being back and all, mainly on this planet I mean, not of course seeing you guys." Roland awkwardly says.

"Well, it's good to have you back," Lilith replied with a smile. "At least no one else is going overboard on this-"

Of course... that was followed by hearing a familiar voice boom all the way across the hall. "WHAT THE F**K DO YOU MEAN THAT YOUR FRIEND IS ALIVE!!? HE GOT SHOT BY THAT F**KING, NO GOOD, C**K S***** HYPERION D**KWAFFLE!!!!"

Which... only left Lilith with saying something else to finish her sentence. "God dammit, Torgue..."
> Chapter 12: Midgets take Manehattan part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“God Dammit Torgue…” Lilith groaned as the loud outburst from the macho man who founded the Torgue Corporation still continued to echo throughout the hallway. The last thing that she wanted to do was remind Roland, who she somehow found out was actually alive, of when Jack killed him. Now though, the siren thought that the statement would open up old wounds.

Instead though… it just seemed to confuse the soldier more than anything else. 

“Um, mind filling me in on who Torgue is?” Roland responded

“He’s… well…” Lilith took a deep breath before looking back at him. “You remember the Torgue Corporation? They deal with explosive weapons like… well, the only example I could remember was the Undertaker, Friendly Fire, Bastard, and that one weapon that Jaynis Kobb had called the Meat Grinder.”

“Don’t forget about the Cobra.” Mordecai spoke up.

“Yeah, that too…” Lilith replied back. “Well, Mr. Torgue… and yes, ‘Mr. Torgue’ is actually his first name, was the owner of the Torgue Corporation. However, he did not make himself known until Tannis found another vault on Pandora.”

“Wait… there was a third vault on Pandora?” Roland then had to put a hand to his head to understand this. “Don’t tell there are somehow more on Pandora, we went through enough sh*t already with the first vault.”

“Yeah… about that…” Mordecai said, before explaining something to him. “Turns out, there’s a whole load of other vaults on a variety of different planets… We only found that out when Lilith tried to use her powers to get rid of the key… but instead, it showed us where a lot more of them were.”

“As for the third vault…” Lilith soon interjected to take the conversation back. “It did not have any monsters or anything and had loot, but according to Tannis, the vault could only be opened if the strongest warrior on Pandora feeds it the blood of the ultimate coward… And that was where Torgue came in… because he actually set up a huge deathmatch tournament to try and determine who’s the number one badass… and of course, Gaige and the others came out on top in that. So you don’t need to worry about it.”

“Well, I guess that takes a load off my mind about that. For some reason it doesn’t surprise me that there are more vaults out there, it just didn’t seem as if there was only one out there.” Roland just shook his head with a smile. “Damn, you all had a lot of adventures without me huh?” 

“Well, it’s mostly the new guys…” Mordecai added. “But, in all seriousness Roland, it’s not all fun and games here… I mean… with what’s happened tonight, the least we could do is make sure that everyone’s on the same page. Because if we’re going to be seeing any more of those Guardians again, we should all at least know what is going on.”

Lilith nodded at that. “I agree… What do you think, Brick?”

“I think I need to go and find me one of those things and use it as a punching bag.” Brick says while cracking his knuckles. “I missed out on some fun, but that’s for later. Right now we need to see if more vault key pieces are around.”

That had the siren realize something as she looked back at Roland. “And yes… there’s a vault here. And instead of three pieces for the key, there’s six. One is attached to Axton’s forearm.”

“Seriously? Its stuck on him?” is all Roland can say to that, then just shrugged. “I guess that's how it works here.”

“True…” Lilith replied back. “Though, since those Guardians went after Axton, my only thought would be that they would want to take it from him… The only question I have though is why they went after Gaige-?”

“Someone called my name?” They all heard the Mechromancer, who was in her unicorn form now, speak up. “Oh… um… I’m not interrupting anything now, am I?”

“Um… why are you-”

“It’s how it works here, don’t ask anymore than that.” Axton said with a flat tone while taking off his band then putting it back on.

“Alright then.” Roland simply said.

“Anyways… Twilight was going to ask if we were ready to go back to Ponyville,” She said, before looking to Roland. “Plus, it would probably give Roland here the chance to gear up now that Torgue sent that supply drop pod a few days ago.” When Roland tilted his head a little, seeming confused, that was when Gaige began to explain to her. “It’s a contraption that allows for us to access Zed’s Clinic, Marcus’ Munitions and Guns, plus being able to access the vault back in Sanctuary without having to wait for it to arrive like most packages you buy on the EchoNET.”

“That’s… awfully convenient. Wait, this planet-”

“Roland, let me tell you personally... “ Axton began and heaved a giant sigh “Don’t try and add logic to this place, it’s way easier on the mind if you don’t, trust me on that.”  

Roland tried to continue what he was saying, but Axton just kept shaking his head no, trying to have him drop his train of thought.

“Yeah Roland, we ended up here through magical bullsh*t not how the way Mr. Torgue sent his supply drop.”

“I keep hearing more and more things that shouldn’t be possible, yet I keep getting proven wrong.” Roland simply said as he rubbed his forehead. 

“Give it some time, you might get used to it…” Gaige chuckled, before looking to Axton.

Axton rolled his eyes and mumbles. “Yeah sure, it’s all sunshine and rainbows and all that sh*t”

Brick caught that comment and chuckles as he slaps Axton on the shoulder, hard.

“Come on Axton, it’s not that bad.”

“I’m not saying it’s bad, just saying I don’t want to get used to it.” Axton replied to Brick’s own comment.

“Anyways… Twilight told us that the train will be leaving for Ponyville soon,” Gaige said, before looking back at Roland. “And yes, that’s the town’s name. Don’t ask… So we’ll all be having to go soon. Don’t mind Tina though, she’s just sitting on top of ClapTrap and making him go nuts.”

“HELP!! SOMEONE GET THIS DIABOLICAL PONY DEMON OFF OF MY CHASSIS!!!!” They all heard the robot scream while Tina was on top of it’s head and acting like she was on an amusement park ride.

“Heh, at least she is having fun.” Roland said as he heard that.

“Try telling that to ClapTrap… he thinks that the ponies turned us into this and that we serve a evil princess overlord,” The mechromancer sighed, before galloping to the door. Leaving Axton with the original Vault Hunters as she went to go chase Tina and ClapTrap. “But enough about that. We gotta catch up with Maya and the others at the Station. See you later!”

“Come on Slabs, let’s get going.” Brick said as he left to head towards the Train station.

“Well, I guess this is one hell of a journey I’ve come back too.” Roland said with a smile on his face. Soon enough Axton was left on his own, wondering what he was going to do now.

“Anyway, hey Ro-” Axton then finally noticed no else is around. “OH COME THE F*CK ON, REALLY?!?” Which… only left him with some awkward stares from the ponies that were just coming back in the room.





The Following Day

When it comes to Pandora, Vault Hunters don’t normally have the luxury of being able to sleep a full on eight hours like how most people would. Normally, that’s because of the fact that bandits could attack at any moment, day or night… but there were two exceptions to that. One, ClapTrap could probably wake someone up with him reciting the newest dubstep song that he wrote. Or Two, Tannis just happened to make a major discovery that she needed to inform everyone about at their inconvenience.

And unfortunately, this morning was no exception… because just as the sun began to rise, the vault hunters didn’t have the luxury of a rooster waking them up. They instead had a partially crazy scientist who sounded like if Twilight had a Ph.D, was insanely smart and did not care about other people. Gaige herself had tried to ignore it… but when she did finally wake up, that was when she found Lilith, Axton and a couple others with Twilight as they looked to her. “Ugh… Morning… D-did I miss anything…?”

“Other than Tannis waking us all up in order to try and tell us something important,” Lilith said. “But upon hearing about Roland she’s… well, she’s been saying the word ‘Impossible’ now for the last two minutes…” Turning the volume up on her ECHO device, she let the Mechromancer begin to listen in.

“Impossible! Impossible… Impossible? No, no, that’s just downright impossible! Why would something so impossible like this happen in such an impossible place?”

“It was not something I appreciated hearing this morning, but knowing Tannis, she doesn’t care.” Axton said as he rubbed his head.

“What… exactly was she supposed to be talking to us about?” Gaige then asked.

“Turns out, she was trying to figure out some kind of plan in order to help us track down the other key pieces. But when Brick said that he was going to get Roland… I think you may know the rest.” Lilith explained.

“And here we I thought he would’ve been subtle about that, but nope.”  Axton then said.

“Technically, us being in our normal bodies already makes us stand out like a sore thumb.” Gaige added.

“Besides the fact we look like our normal selves, You think he wouldn’t have said anything about Roland around others from Pandora.” 

“HEY!! I didn’t think Tannis would be listening in that well.” Brick chimed in.

“This is Tannis you’re talking about, she always listens that well…” Gaige added.

“Umm… Shouldn’t we actually listen to what she has to tell us?” Twilight spoke up as she looked at the other vault hunters.

“That depends… Is Tannis back to being herself?” The Mechromancer asked, shortly before hearing the voice of the scientist on the other end of the ECHO.

“Hello…? Are any of you still listening? I’ve been hearing you all mindlessly ramble on for the last five minutes and it’s making me want to vomit more than when I am being forced to participate in social interactions with other people.”

“Yeah, that sounds like her…” Lilith replied back.

“Well then, Tannis what did you want to tell us?” Axton then said.

“About time!” They hear her say, before clearing her throat. “I hate it when I have to wait on others in order to tell them about my intellectual discoveries… Anywho, I’ve been trying to come up with a tracking system in order to help you find the rest of the remaining pieces of the vault key you are looking for.”

Gaige looked to Axton for a moment, before looking back at her ECHO device as she then spoke up. “A tracking system? What kind?”

“I think that’s a bit of a redundant question given the circumstances.”

“Well, what have you got so far then?” Axton said. “Also, how many books did you have to go through anyway?”

“After looking through numerous ECHO libraries, records and… ugh, research blogs… I’ve created a tracking system that informs you if the presence of a vault key piece is nearby. This was created using the energy from not just the key itself, but also the energy found in eridium. I’m sending the application to the ECHO devices of Maya, Gaige, Salvador, Krieg and Zer0.”

“Why not Axton?” Gaige then asked.

“Because of the fact that he already has one, energy from another vault key piece and the one he already had would conflict with each other. Especially since I believe how this works is one part per vault hunter.” Tannis clarified.

“Well at least that makes it easier on me.” Axton then turned toward Twilight. “Well at least you can get your books back.”

“Yeah… That’s a good thing at least.” Twilight nodded her head.

“Despite how complicated it was to believe that such a different species would actually be able to help me on this, I find the research you present quite… informative.” Tannis then added.

“I… think that was a compliment?”

“Coming from Tannis, that was a compliment. Trust me on this, she rarely, if ever, gives them out.” Axton said to Twilight.

“I heard that.” They heard the scientist groan.

“So, did you find anything?” Gaige then asked.

“Well, so far I have been matching only a few signals and the only thing I’m getting is something to the northeast of your present location. In a huge urban area…” The scientist then added.

“Hey Twilight, what’s to the northeast of here?” Axton asked.

“Only thing I can think of is Manehattan.” The Alicorn replied back, scratching her chin with a hoof. “It’s a big civilian area with a lot of shops and destinations for tourists.”

“Great, the next place we need to go to is a god damn city. Sounds like a game of who can find it first.” Axton commented.

“Hey it can’t be that bad.” Brick then said.

“Yeah, knowing our luck it could be in a f*cking museum on display and then we would have to wonder how the hell to get it out of there.” Axton grumbled. 

“Hopefully this place would not be like Opportunity.” Gaige grumbled.

“Same… Even though it was fun to make those home videos.” Lilith chuckled.

“Those were a blast to make, but I really don’t want to be another Opportunity. That’s one of the things I don’t want to happen again.” Axton said. It was around that time that Gaige soon happened to notice Twilight talking with one of her friends outside. The fashionista named Rarity. And there was one detail that she overheard that really caught her attention.

“You’re going to Manehattan?”

“I was invited to come see Coco Pommel and some of the work that she has been doing, but I’m unsure if I should go because of all the craziness recently. I mean, with the attack from those things the night before and that mechanical monster as well, it’s almost as if barely anywhere could be seen as safe nowadays.”

That… had a bit of a lightbulb emerge in Gaige’s head as she walked over to where Rarity and Twilight were. “If it’s protection you need, I can help.”

“R-really?” Rarity said, shocked to see Gaige out of the blue before looking around. “Are you sure that you don’t have anything else that you need to be doing today?”

“Well, one of our friends back where we are from-”

“I’m not a friend.” Tannis interjected.

“-said that something we’re looking for is in Manehattan,” Gaige finished, ignoring the offshoot comment by the wacky scientist. “So, some of us can come along… as long as we aren’t used as models for dress up. We don’t want another incident regarding the ‘tux’ shirt that Brick had.” The last part she said with a bit of caution in her voice, just so she did not happen to mess things up on accident.

“I… see that as reasonable,” Rarity replied. “As long as you don’t do anything embarrassing, I’m fine with it.”

“You say that now, but don’t be surprised if it comes back to bite you.” Axton comments as he gets ready. “I know for a fact that I will NOT be grabbing this piece of the key.”

“You don’t have to come along if you don’t want to.” Gaige added.

“Oh, just because I’m not going to grab the piece doesn’t mean I won’t come with.” Axton then rolled his shoulder. “Besides, there might be more of those guardians there as well so we would need more.”

“And just when I thought he would be appreciative of taking a break from the craziness…” Gaige thought to herself. “Come on now… After how we kicked their ass last time? Highly doubt it.”

Axton then stopped for a couple seconds comprehending what she said.

“Well, can’t blame you there. But hey just in case.”

“Sure…” Gaige replied back, rolling her eyes before looking back to Rarity. “So, when do we leave?”

“Do you want to leave now or wait and get some stuff ready?” Axton asked.

“Oh, I’m ready whenever you are, darling.” Rarity replied back, even going as far as winking at Axton.

“Uh… alright then I’m ready right now so we can leave now.” Axton hesitantly said.

“Anyone else want to come along? Maybe Brick or Lilith?” Gaige asked.

Before Axton got a word out, Brick answered for him.

“You know, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I wanna come with, see the sights and all that.” 

“If you don’t smack someone first.” Axton muttered.

“Oh you wanna be a volunteer for that?” Brick said with a smile on his face. “Heh, but only if they deserve it or piss me off.”

“Well, it would be better than just sitting around and doing nothing.” Lilith then added.

“So yeah, I think it is safe to say we are all ready to go then.” Axton said after that.

“Splendid! I’ll go get the tickets.” Rarity said, trotting out of Twilight’s castle with the four vault hunters behind her as her… entourage, so to speak.





Manehattan

“Wow… this definitely does not look like Opportunity at all.” The Mechromancer said upon first stepping out of the train and having a look at Manehattan.

“Yeah no kidding, this just seems… I don’t know kinda normalish in a way.” Axton commented afterward.

“That’s because this is normal, darling,” Rarity soon spoke up as she approached the two of them from behind. Saddlebag on her back as Brick and Lilith were following them. “I’m not sure what this Opportunity that you speak of is, but Manehattan is nothing like that.

“She’s got a point… At least we don’t need to make any home videos with one of Moxxi’s camera’s here.” Lilith snickered, before adding onto it. “Or blow stuff up.”

“Yeah well, even though this place is normal, just looking at it gives me vibes of when I was back home on Eden-5 and the last time I was there, I had to evade arrest when Deathtrap accidentally blew up my former rival at school and I got a one way ticket to Pandora in order to get out of there.” The mechromancer told them, just as the five of them were beginning to walk away from the train station and begin to follow Rarity. Who just happened to have a few questions for Gaige regarding what she just said.

“Uh dear… what do you mean by ‘accidentally’ blowing something up?”

“Yeah, blowing someone up does not sound like something that would happen on accident.” The siren added as they took a left and began to walk down the street. Passing through some shops on the way over.

“Well, originally, I was there for the science fair that was going on and I was showing DT as my entry for it. However, some snub named Marcie just happened to bribe the judges and have me go in third place. What made things worse was that she was the one who tried to rip off my designs,” The Mechromancer explained, groaning a bit as she recalled what happened. “After the fair though… that was when Marcie did the last mistake she could ever make.”

That had Lilith raise an eyebrow as she looked back at Brick and Axton. “What would that be?”

“Pushing me… and in doing that, Deathtrap identified her as a hostile,” She replied back. “I thought I had it’s claws set to stun in order to pacify targets, but instead, a miscalibration lead to Marcie exploding all over the place… including onto her parents. I tried telling them that it was an accident, but it lead to me getting expelled and then arrested for doing that. Luckily, my dad made a distraction involving a golf cart and a lot of gasoline and I was able to hitch a shuttle to Pandora… and ironically, it was the same one where I met Axton, Maya, Zero and all the other Vault Hunters.”

“So that’s how you ended up being with them.” Lilith spoke up, now understanding what Gaige was saying. “I was quite curious as to how the six of you all ended up together in the first place.”

“Well, we didn’t really ask each other why we were on the transport then… and the only thing I know is that Krieg looked to have been going on a joyride,” Gaige shrugged. “But perhaps we can talk more about that later. Where was it that your friend lived at, Rarity?”

“Not far over. Just a couple more blocks.” The unicorn told the vault hunters that were with her as they reached what looked like a rather luxurious apartment complex as they trotted on inside… Even though Brick was originally stuck in the door and the only way that it was possible to pull him through was for Gaige to use her magic.

“Thanks for that, now I have to say this is kinda more fancy to my liking.” Brick commented when they got inside.

“Yeah because where you lived before you moved back into Sanctuary was basically a canyon.”

“At least this place was not like the Helio’s station, that’s for sure.” Lilith said to herself as they walked towards what looked like a set of elevators. Ones that were actually big enough to fit all five of them without getting too crammed in there. Upon entering, Rarity herself hit the button for the fifth floor as the elevator soon went up.

Upon reaching the floor of their destination, the doors parted open and everypony was able to step out. “Alright… let’s see,” Rarity said to herself, looking at what looked some kind of small notebook that she was holding with her magic before closing it. “Fifth floor… room 48. Should be over here.” Upon hearing that was when Rarity went to the right, followed by Axton, Brick and Lilith. Gaige however… still found herself looking around and after a bit, realized that everypony else disappeared.

“Oh come on, seriously?” The Mechromancer groaned, hearing hoofsteps from the other end of the hall and galloping down the hallway to catch up.

“Hmm, Gaige, did you seriously get lost in here?” Axton said as he cracked a smile.

“What? I always like to look at my surroundings. We do it all the time when we look around and open crates for ammo and such,” The mechromancer snapped. “Not to mention that sometimes we get the occasional loot midgets.”

That herself had Rarity stop for a moment, before looking at Gaige with a raised eyebrow. “I’m sorry, but what was that I heard about midgets?”

“Well… back on Pandora, they’re smaller versions of the typical bandits and psychos that we normally come across, but are just as crazy,” Lilith tried to clarify for the unicorn. “The one that Gaige was referring to are the kinds of midgets that sneak into crates, chests, lockers, dumpsters, cardboard boxes. You name it, they can hide in it.”

“Oh… that just sounds rather disturbing… I mean, having yourself hide in there for who knows how long until some unfortunate soul opens it up. That must drive them crazy.”

“Technically, they were already crazy to begin with.” Gaige corrected her, before noticing something at the end of the hallway. Which caused her to speak up as she pointed out one of the door in the hallway that had the number 48 boldly emblazoned on the plaque that was there. “Would this happen to be your friends place?”

The unicorn soon turned to notice the door that she was pointing out to her, before nodding as her expression changed almost instantaneously. “Why yes it is! Hang on just a minute…” Rarity chimed, knocking on the door with a hoof as she waited for the mare inside to come to the door and open it.

As the door opened, Gaige soon saw the pony that she believed was this ‘Coco Pommel’ that Rarity had mentioned earlier. A cream colored earth pony who’s mane and tail were two different shades of light blue and her cutie mark looked like that of a lavender hat. Her eyes also matched that of her hair as she was wearing what looked like some kind of lavender sailor collar with a crimson tie and a tri shaped mane clip on the back of her head. “Oh hello Rarity,” The mare replied calmly, before noticing Gaige… and her metal arm. “Um… who-?”

“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Rarity replied back, before motioning a hoof to Gaige and a few other of the Vault Hunters. “These are some new… friends of ours that have been staying in Ponyville recently. Everypony, this is Coco Pommel. Coco, this is Gaige.”

“Yo.” Gaige introduced herself, and caused Lilith to roll her eyes.

“Lilith.”

“Sup?” The siren was next to introduce herself to Coco, just before Rarity turned to Axton and Brick.

“And these two are Axton and Brick.”

“Hi there.” Axton said while Brick just nods his head.

“H-hello,” Coco mumbled, almost caught off guard by how huge Brick was compared to everypony else. “W-would you like to come inside?”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Brick said as he tried to go inside, only to roll his eyes and take off his band to turn back into a pony. After he did so, which he barely was able to get in, Axton followed right behind. Gaige and Lilith still maintained their pony forms as they were able to easily trot on through the door without any problems.

“F-feel free to make yourselves at home.” Coco offered, looking at her guests as there were still a few more boxes and other things scattered around. “I still haven’t had the chance to unpack after moving here…” It was then that they also heard the sound of what was supposedly a tea kettle whistling on top of the stove as the earth pony rushed over to turn it off. “Would you like some tea? Maybe something to eat?”

“Just some tea for me.” Axton said, only to receive a questioning look from Brick. “What, I drink tea as well sometimes.” 

“Never thought of you to be the gentlemanly type. I would only think Hammerlock would be the kind of person who would drink tea.” Gaige chuckled, while also noticing Lilith roll her eyes. “What? You have to admit, for being a huntsman and an archeologist with a metal arm, he does act like a gentleman.”

“You mean gentlecolt?” Rarity asked.

“Tomato, tomato, they both mean the same thing.” Gaige shrugged as she looked at Axton. The mechromancer used this opportunity as a chance to look around the small apartment to see if there seemed to be anything… out of the ordinary to her.

“Looking for anything in particular there Gaige?” Brick asked as he tried to find a place to sit.

“No, I’m just looking around… Coco did say to make ourselves at home.” She told the slab in response.

“That I did…” Coco then spoke up, finishing with pouring the tea into cups as she brought them over to Axton. Rarity herself also helped, given how holding things using magic was far much easier than trying to carry it by hoof and mouth. “Here you go, sir.”

“Thanks.” Axton then took a drink of the tea as Brick still shook his head as he finally found a place to sit… not to mention the fact that it did not break under him when he sat down (like most of the feeble chairs in sanctuary). Gaige herself… just thought that they were having tea without it being a party and without Tiny Tina.

“So Rarity, why were you visiting Coco anyway?” Axton asked when he wasn’t drinking his tea.

“Well, the two of were going to talk about a few things regarding the boutique and some other things, but I was a little bit surprised to hear about the new apartment.” Rarity added.

“T-thanks… Though, there were a lot of boxes that the last owner had in here, some that I haven’t had the chance to move out.” Coco replied back to her.

While they were talking though, Gaige was personally looking around as she was trying to have a look around. Yet… as she came across one particular room, the tracking system on her ECHO device began to pick up something. “Wait… Here of all places? How in the world could it be here?” She thought, taking a moment to look around as she found more and more boxes spread out everywhere she looked.

In the back of the room though, that was when she saw something… odd. It looked like a chest, one that seemed to have been locked with a key. And as Gaige stepped forward, her hoof came into contact with a possible key. The closer she got to the chest, the stronger the signal on her ECHO was. And by the time that she was unlocking the lock, it was going off like crazy. “This… feels almost WAY too easy… Why do I get the feeling like this is some sort of-”

The top of the chest immediately sprung open, knocking Gaige back as she fell onto the floor. “... trap.” Shaking her head, she soon had a look at what the hell just sprung out of the chest and she was surprised by what it was. A loot midget… and on the back of it’s pack, it was a piece of the key. “Oh hell…”

“Hey Gaige wha- WHAT THE SH*T!?” Axton yelled as the Midget ran out of the room, somehow in pony form, yelling in pyshco speak and laughing manically.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL STANDING AROUND FOR, GET THE F*CKER!!!” Brick said as he ran out of the room after the midget, also laughing with glee.
> Chapter 13: Midgets take Manehattan part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Brick bolted out of Coco’s apartment and down the hall with Axton following him shortly afterwards, the only ones who looked a bit baffled by what was happening in that moment were that of Rarity, Coco and Lilith. The latter of whom helped Gaige off the floor as the mechromancer was scratching the back of her head. “So, care to explain what that was all about?” The siren asked her. “One moment, you were looking around and we were minding our own business. The next thing I know, Brick starts racing down the hall and Axton takes off after him.”

“Loot midget came out of nowhere…” Gaige coughed for a moment. “My ECHO was picking something up in the room and then a ponified loot midget stormed out of here.”

“Okay… well, I don’t see why-”

“-It has a piece of the key.”

After hearing that, the siren just looked back at the mechromancer for a brief moment, before cursing to herself. “Aw sh-”

“W-what’s going on?” Coco asked, now sounding nervous about what exactly just unfolded in the middle of her living room.

“No time to talk. Got a midget to catch.” The siren said, before her tattoos glowed and she disappeared from the room. Leaving Gaige as the last one to leave as she looked back at the others.

“It’s a lot to explain, so… see ya!!” The mechromancer took off, leaving the unicorn and the earth pony by themselves… just as the door that Brick slammed earlier fell off its hinges.

“And just when I thought Rainbow was bad when it comes to slamming doors.” The element of generosity grumbled to herself. Given everything so far, something told her that this was going to be a long afternoon.





“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SH*T, HAHAHAHA!!!” Brick screamed in joy as he laughed and chased the midget, though he had to go back into pony form to even fit through the doorway… barely, that was also getting further and further away from him in the building.

“Dammit, only if we weren’t indoors I could get a clear shot and not have to worry about others in the way.” Axton said mostly to himself as he was right behind Brick with the Bitch SMG at the ready.

“Have to say though, Brick, that is one quick midget. Guess it doesn’t help it’s also a pony.”

“HAHA, that’s where the fun is an-” Right then the midget then jumped out a nearby window and crashed right through to the ground below. Axton and Brick were standing there for a few seconds while looking back and forth between themselves and the broken window.

“Uh… did that-”

“Yep.”

“Do you think-”

“Nope.” 

Axton took a few seconds to himself before answering.

“Why the hell do psychos have to be so f*cken stupid.”

“Hey, at least he made a way for us to get down.” Brick said, only to shortly go through the window as well, only to then impact the ground a few seconds later followed by him yelling out.

“F***************CK, THAT HURT!!” 

Axton just went to look out the window to see Brick slowly get up from the crater, all the while cursing and grumbling. After shaking himself off and putting the armband back on did he look for the midget.

“HEY AXTON, YOU SEE HIM?” Brick asked.

“ONE SEC!” Axton then pulled out his sniper, the Volcano, to look for their target. After sweeping the area for a few seconds he found it. “HEADING EAST, BE DOWN SHORTLY!” Axton took a quick second to collect himself before jumping out the window. He braced himself for impact and landed easily, while only wobbling slightly. He and Brick shared a quick nod before chasing after where the midget was last seen going. After a few minutes and turns down main streets and avoiding hitting any ponies while they were chasing the midget, they lost it in a massive crowd in a park. 

“Dammit, now it will be difficult to find that damn midget.” 

Brick then taps Axton on the shoulder and points to a nearby tree that can overlook the park.

“How about up there?” Brick asked as they made their way to the tree.

“Hmm…” Axton looks over the tree before coming to a decision. “Well, I would need to climb a little higher, but this will work. Boost me up.” As Axton got ready to hop up, Brick just grabbed him by the shirt and launched him up the tree. 

“Thanks for that.” Axton grumbled down to Brick, only to receive a smirk and a thumbs up in response. After shaking his and positioning himself on the branch he got his sniper out once again he started sweeping the area. Five minutes go by and he finds nothing, much to his annoyance.

“Find anything yet?!” Brick called up to Axton.

“Nothing yet.” He responded before grumbling to himself. “Of course it had have been a damn loot midget that got their little han- huh?” He then saw a bit of a disturbance a little ways off to the west. 

“Go to the west about twenty meters from here, something's going on over there.” Axton said to Brick, to which he got a nod. 

As Brick was jogging over there, Axton saw a group of ponies surrounding something with looks of concern. Before he could even begin to form a question he heard a shotgun blast ring out in the park and the ring of ponies all back away. He could see that one of the ponies is on the ground bleeding from a shotgun blast. He could see that it wasn’t deep, as if the pellets only grazed the pony. 

‘Sh*t, Brick get there soon.’ Axton said to himself as he saw the midget cock the shotgun again and pointed it at the head of the pony that was hit. 

‘Well I'm gonna get shit for this, but f*ck it that mare needs help now.’ Axton then steadied his aim and fired his sniper at the shotgun. While the shotgun was fired, instead of gore going flying it was only dirt this time. The midget then looked to where the shot came from and shouted something, before once again running off, with Brick hot on his heels. 

“GET BACK HERE!!” Brick shouted as he was gaining on the midget, to which all he got in response was more psycho speak. While Axton was getting out of the tree, Brick was making sure not to lose the midget as it suddenly went down various alleyways. Eventually he was able to corner it in a dead end.

“HEHEHE, nowhere to run now.” Brick said as he was cracking his knuckles. “So be a good little boy and take your beating.” However the Loot midget just laughed and readied his shotgun again. Brick just rolled his eyes as he advanced, only to stop as he then heard multiple weapons at the ready. He looked up and found fifteen other midgets there, one of them being a midget goliath of all things. 

“Oh Shi-” Brick started to say as he turned back to go around a corner. Shortly after he rounded the corner did all sixteen midgets open fire.  

‘The one time I need a goddamn gun i don’t have one on me, great.’ He said to himself as the hail of bullets continued on his location. Brick never even got a chance to look around the corner as he heard them advance on him.

“Hey, stand in front of this!” Axton shouted from nearby as he deployed his two turrets, which their shields activated as soon as they were deployed. “Heard you might need some help, so how's it look against one little midget.”

“Well smartass, there is now sixteen of them with a f*cking goliath.”

Axton just stood there, remembering what happens when their helmet is gone. He then readys his Norfleet and steps over to his turrets, only to find out that the midgets scatter as soon as he rounds the corner. 

“Dammit, just when i wanted to blow some stuff up.” Axton then sighs as he puts his rocket away. “Well at least we can track which on- what?!” 

As he is looking at his ECHO to track the location of where the midget was going, sixteen trackers go off as they leave the ring surrounding Axton’s piece of the key. “FOR F*CKS SAKE SERIOUSLY?!?!” 





As Gaige scrambled in order to try and get a grasp on the situation, she saw a few things that looked to be consistent with one another. First, there was a trail of destruction that was left behind from the mad dash of Axton and Brick going after the midget. And second, the sound of gunfire echoed shortly afterwards along with several ponies running and applying medical attention to whoever got wounded. Looking at her ECHO device didn’t seem to help any because one moment, the commando and berserker were hot on the tail of the midget, yet they were stalled by something shortly afterwards.

Thinking quickly, the mechromancer activated the comline on her ECHO device and reached out to the siren. “Lilith, things aren’t looking good. Civilians are getting caught in the crossfire down on the street.”

“I know. And things aren’t looking good up here either,” The siren commented back. “I was listening in on the ECHO feed from Axton and brick. Turns out the midget’s not alone. There’s fifteen others and a goliath with them.”

“That… doesn’t sound entirely bad-”

“The helmet just got knocked off.”

“Okay, I take that back, that’s bad.” Gaige widened her eyes upon hearing that piece of news from Lilith. “Do we got some kind of plan here? I know that I have Deathtrap, but it would be a wild goose chase to go after every single one.”

There was a moment of silence… just before Lilith responded. Though, Gaige was not entirely thrilled by the choice of words. “Okay… I have an idea. A really bad idea. Get up to the roof and stay in your pony form.”

“Please, lets not have this be a repeat of when she warped Sanctuary,” The mechromancer thought to herself, noticing the exit to a stairwell at the end of the hall. She wasn’t entirely thrilled of random teleportations. Especially the ones that Lilith did to ensure that they survived. Whether it was ten feet or several kilometers away, Gaige only felt that teleportation would be necessary if she knew where she would end up instead of landing in some random ass place.

Approaching the stairs, she punched the door handle with her mechanical arm as she raced towards the top. Unfortunately, the door at the top of the stairs couldn’t exactly be opened in the same fashion. So instead, she cast her magic to pull out her conference call shotgun to blast the door lock to pieces before busting the door down. Lilith was on the other side, in her normal form with one free hand monitoring the situation on her ECHO device.

“Oh good, you made it.” The siren told her.

“So what’s this really bad idea of yours exactly?” Gaige now asked as she approached the siren.

“Well, judging from the recent motions on the tracker, it seems like these guys are trying to somehow… what’s the term…”

“Misdirect?”

“Yeah,” Lilith told her. “They’re messing with ECHO frequencies in order to trick us, but I think that if you amplify the tracker a bit, you can get a visual as to where it might be. Of course, I tried with my Siren powers to no effect.”

“So… you think magic might be the key?”

“Exactly,” Lilith told her. “Besides, it would be more effective than just hunting down each of them individually to go straight for the source.” If she were entirely honest, Gaige was unsure whether or not this was the ‘bad’ part of her idea or not. If anything, everything seemed good so far.

“Alright. So, I channel my magic, find the source and then chase them?”

“No, not chase.” She replied to her. “I’m going to warp you as you jump off the building. If applied right, then they won’t know what hit them.”

And there it was.






As Axton and Brick were chasing some of the nearby midgets, they both heard something they didn’t want to hear. 

“Mistake! BIG GODDAMN MISTAKE!” Followed by the helmet of a goliath slowly rolling on the ground. 

“Oh sh*t! Brick, see if you can go after some of the midgets I’m gonna stay and deal with-” Axton quickly ducked out of the way as a trash can came flying towards him. “JUST GO!”

“ON IT!” Brick shouted as he left, following in the direction of where the closest midget went. 

“Alright midget, time fo- OH GOOD GOD WHAT THE F*CK?!?!” As the midget goliath rounded the corner it, like how the others were, was in pony form. Upon seeing it raging as a pony was not something he would ever want to see again.  

“GET ON YOUR GODDAMN KNEES!” It screamed as it came barreling after Axton.

“I think i’m gonna throw up.” Axton could only respond as he ran away towards a less populated area of the city. 

“STOP RUNNING!” 

“DON’T PLAN ON IT!” 

“RAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” The goliath screamed as it chased Axton.

‘Brick I hope you found some of them!!!” 

Meanwhile, Brick found out that two of them were right next to each other. As he slowly came up behind them he got ready to grab them both. However he decided to wait until one of them went forward a little before grabbing the one closer to him. Before the midget could even begin to wonder what happened, Brick snapped its neck.

‘One down, one to go for now.’ As he snuck up on the one that was left he punched it in the back of the head and put a boot on it’s back. The midget was struggling before realising it couldn’t get out. It then felt its right foreleg being pulled.

“Please don’t break my arm!” It pleaded at Brick.

“Hmm…. Okay.”

The midget let out a sigh of relief, which was the last thing it ever did as Brick decided to crush its skull instead. 

“Hmm, I wonder how Axton’s doing right now.” Brick decided to call Axton on his ECHO. After a few seconds it went through. “Hey, how’s the Goliath doing?”

“Don’t run… I’m just gonna EAT YOU ALIVE!!!” Brick faintly overheard the Goliath.

“HOW THE F*CK DO YOU THINK?!?!”

“How did it level up?”

“Ran into a two other midgets along the way, it dealt with them far too quickly. Then again it is a pony right now, so who knows what kind of magical BS is going on right now.” 

“Sounds like you have it covered, I’ll check in with the others.” Brick then cut the transmission before Axton could even respond. “Hey Lilith, what's going on on your end?”

Just as he said that, just as the siren herself landed on the ground. Fire like wings coming off behind her. “Sup? You called for me?”

“Convenient. Yeah, just wanted to check and see how you and Gaige are doing.” Brick said as looked over to Her. “Also, Axton is dealing with a midget GOD-liath right now that is a pony.”

“Ouch,” Lilith said. “Hopefully Gaige is doing better… We kind of went along with another bad idea I had…”

Brick let out a long sigh at that. “What kind of bad idea, and why wasn’t I invited to it?”

“It was bad… quick question by the way,” Lilith asked him. “How fast do you think a moonshot projectile is?”





Elsewhere…

As Gaige felt herself being thrown back down towards the ground, a part of her wanted to strangle Lilith for coming up with this insane idea in the first place. Her idea for trying to reach the other side of Manehattan was to have her be the equivalent of a flying moonshot, the equivalent of a blast from orbit by Hyperion’s Helios space station. The only good thing that she could really say about it was that her magic was acting as a buffer to protect her from anything that she came into contact with.

Of course though, that anything turned out to be the side of a brick building. And there was no way to slow down her approach. “Aw sh-!”

However, instead of smashing through the wall like she thought would happen, she bounced off and fell straight down. Crashing down to the ground face first, much to the mechromancer’s dismay. “Next time Lilith tells you that its a bad idea, perhaps don’t do it-”

As she rose up and told herself this, she happened to notice something. Not that far from where she was at, there were several dots all gathered up in one place. Around eleven or so if she were to take a wild guess. And upon fully standing up, she now found what she was looking for. Eleven loot midgets, all of which were now staring back at her as she grit her teeth for a moment.

“Heh… Just my luck…” Before the midget could ready their weapons, the mechromancer grabbed hold of the grenade she had attached to her waist and threw it. Luckily, this was the ‘Magic Missile’ hand grenade that she got from when the vault hunters were playing their game with Tiny Tina sometime back. As the grenade exploded, several slag projectiles hit the midgets. Providing an opportunity for the mechromancer to capitalize on.

“To hell with the first law!”

Moments after summoning Deathtrap, Gaige jumped over a set of crates that were on one side of the alleyway, getting behind the midgets as she readied her Conference Call. With Deathtrap on one side and her on the other, the midgets had nowhere to run as rounds of shotgun ammo ricocheted off the walls and had each one of the midgets drop like flies. The one that took a bit longer to kill was the one with the piece of the key, but after one of deathtrap’s claws knocked the key piece out of its bag, it soon fell like the others.

Of course, it would not be a loot midget without the one thing that they would have on hand. Loot. And one of the things that happened to be scattered amongst the dead midgets was something that Gaige knew Axton would’ve wanted. “Holy sh*t, one of these guys had a Butcher?”

Yes, the same shotgun that she used to free herself from the guardians that arrived at the Gala was now laying on the ground in front of her. Only differences being that it was a corrosive variant of the weapon and that it had what looked like a Jakobs sight strapped to the top of it. The commando had been jealous of her ever since getting one from Digistruct Peak, so he probably might like the fact that he can have one this time around.

However, a pearlescent weapon was not the first thing that was on Gaige’s mind. Instead, it was the piece of the key. As she picked it up, the piece immediately became attached to her left arm. And with it, she began to feel rather dizzy. Possibly as a side effect from Lilith’s bad idea.

But it was fine. Surely Axton could be able to handle himself, right?






“SH*T, SH*T, SH*T!!!!” Axton yelled out as he finally got to an area where there were no others except himself and the midget GOD-liath. He was not having a good time at all, considering that the GOD-liath had some sort of healing to it considering whenever he shot at it its wounds would slowly heal. 

‘Alright if I want this to work, I need to find a hallway or at least an alleyway.’ He was not having a good time considering the GOD-liath is basically breathing down his neck.  

‘Come on, come o- there perfect!’ Axton shortly found what he was looking for and turned a hard left. He did a quick glance behind himself only to see the GOD-liath run into some trash cans before coming down the alleyway. ‘Alright, time to light it up.’ 

Axton then quickly launched both of his Turrets up on the wall out of reach so GOD-liath couldn’t get to them easily.

“That won’t help, scroll sucker!” After it said that the turrets started unloading rockets, bullets, and slag ammo into it. Axton then pulled out his trusty shotgun, the casual SWORDSPLOSION, and kept firing until he knew the GOD-liath was down. The only way he knew it was still alive was because of the fact his turrets kept firing until they deconstructed and he had to wait until before he could use them again.

“I can take it. I’LL TAKE IT ALL!” The GOD-liath screamed at Axton. 

‘Time to finish it, it’s on its last legs anyway.’ Axton said to himself as he readied his grenade. As the GOD-liath was slowly healing and staggering towards him, Axton got into a pitching position. ‘At least he is still slagged.’

“Batter up!” Axton shouted as he ricocheted the Fastball grenade against the wall. It bounced a few times before hitting the GOD-liath square in the head, and thus exploding it. “And you’re OUT!!!” He then shouted as it finally went down, without a head. Then he went over to check out any loot that might have dropped from it. 

“Lets see what we got…. Hmm well, I don’t have this one yet, so might as well keep it.” He said to himself as he picked a MadHous! Assault Rifle. He looked it over before stashing it in his inventory, and swapping out the Bitch SMG for the Florentine, his preferred SMG. “Right, time to check the others.”

Axton then decided to call up Brick. After a few seconds He picked up.

“Hey Slab, so how’s the GOD-liath doing?” Brick did not sound happy at all.

“Uhh, currently headless. Is something wrong?”

“Oh nothing much EXCEPT FOR THE FACT I DIDN’T DO SOMETHING FUN!!” Brick shouted towards someone, only to hear Lilith.

“Hey, if you wanted to end up as a bloodstain on the ground be my guest.” It sounded like this has been going on for a while, considering Lilith sounded worn out by this.    

“... Anyway, how’s the hunt for the other midgets going?”

Brick let out a grunt before answering. “Gaige dealt with them a few minutes ago, so she has the vault key piece by now. However, we can’t reach her ECHO so we are going to her location to check up on her.”

“Got it, meet you there.” Axton then headed to where the location of the other piece is.

As he was making his way over there though, both of them heard another voice speak. “Hey guys, I found Gaige,” Lilith spoke over the ECHO device. “She's out cold for the moment. But still has the key piece.”

“Alright, should we take her back to, uh... what was the name of Rarity’s friend again?” Axton asked as he honestly forgot. Lilith just let out a groan. “What, I actually forgot ok. I mean we only meet her for what, two minutes at most before sh*t hit the fan.” 

“I believe it was Coco Pommel or something-” She said, before another caller came on the line. The caller ID said that it was from Maya, but upon hearing the voice of the caller, it was anything but her.

“Um… is this thing on-?” They heard, recognizing that the voice was Twilights and that Maya was talking to her in the background. “Oh okay. Guys, can you hear me?”

“Twilight? I… honestly would ask how you are calling, but after hearing Maya, I think that question answered itself.”

“Right. Here’s a question though,” The princess then asked them. “Why is the royal guard getting reports of civilian casualties and a monster attack in Manehattan. Something about a pony with it’s head being… loose?”

There was a brief pause, but that was soon followed by Lilith asking the commando a question over the ECHO. “Would you like to tell her or should I?”

“Well, we found out that one of the key pieces was here. It turned out that a loot midget, somehow, ended up in on of Coco’s boxes and that lead to a whole lot of stuff happening, but hey we dealt with it at least.” Axton stopped to let out a quick sigh. “Ah, this takes me back to when I was in the DAHL military. Also there weren’t too many injuries on the civilians… I think.” When he heard the tone that Twilight used, he couldn’t help but reminisce because it reminded him of his Ex which he quickly caught onto before changing the subject. 

“Yeah, that’s all nice and all but what about Gaige?” Brick sounded as he cut into the conversation. “I mean, are we gonna leave her there or what?” 

“Hell no, Brick. I’m picking her up right now,” Lilith told them. “Though, I believe there’s a pearlescent weapon here with Axton’s name on it if he hurries his ass up.”

“Wait, seriously?” Maya now cut in. “What is it?”

“Says here that it’s a Critical Butcher.”

“...I’ll be right there.” Axton said as he then rushed over there as fast as he could. 

“Hehehe, yeah that will get him running.” Brick said.

“HEY SHUT IT, I’ve been hoping to get that weapon for a while now!” Axton shouted at Brick in annoyance. 

“Is he always like this?” They heard Twilight ask Maya.

“Only in this particular instance. Last time he saw that weapon, Gaige claimed first dibs and snatched it before Axton could do anything about it.”

“AND SHE KNEW I WANTED THAT WEAPON! SHE JUST HAD TO SHOVE IT IN MY FACE FOR IT!”

“Yeah, but didn’t you ask for a fight against her for it and she then proceeded to kick your ass?” Brick said, and Axton could tell he had a smirk on his face.

“She caught me off guard.” Axton said in a weak rebuttal. 

“Anyways,” Lilith now interjected. “Let’s regroup and go find Rarity and Coco before heading back. Let’s just hope that the damage from Brick jumping out a building is minor-”

“YOU JUMPED OUT A BUILDING!? ARE YOU BUCKING CRAZY!?!!” Was Twilight’s only response to that comment from the siren. And it was loud enough to give Axton an earache.

“In my defense, the loot midget broke the window first.” 

“Mind toning down the volume there, Twilight?” Axton said as he was rubbing her ears. Finally he was able to meet up with Lilith and claim his weapon. “FINALLY GOT ONE, HELL YEAH!!” 

“Mind toning down the volume there, tough guy?” Lilith asked, pointing her head in the direction of Gaige, who was lying on the siren’s back as she carried her.

“Right, sorry.” Axton cleared his throat as he put the weapon in his inventory, making sure it stays there. “Well, hopefully she won’t be out long like last time.” 

“Yeah, hopefully.” Lilith replied back. “Though, I’m not sure if my idea helped any.”

“Oh boy… what happened this time?” Maya asked.

“Well, let’s just say that I combined my siren powers with the magic she had been learning to have her accelerate to the other side of the city like a shot from a moonshot cannon.”

“...... To take a page from Twilight here, are you f*cking crazy!?”

“Seriously, that was your idea…? No wonder Brick wanted to do it.” Axton said as his hand met his face, hard. 

“Well, you two were already chasing after the midget so I had to improvise. Besides, I wouldn’t even think about trying that with Brick even if he asked.” The siren told him in response, right before feeling something behind her as she then asked a new question. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

“Yes he is, and you better believe we are doing that sometime in the future. I hope you know that.” Brick said as he then was right beside her. 

“At least make sure you can have a somewhat safe landing then.” Axton said with a flat look. 

“Tell you what… If we make it out of this in one piece and Gaige still can use magic, I’ll let you do that as you jump off the edge of Sanctuary.” Lilith told him. “Deal?”

“Hmmm…” Brick contemplated for a few seconds. “Deal.” 

Around now, the commando really wished that there was something that could help him avoid this conversation altogether. Luckily though, that came in the form of the white unicorn that they came here with and her earth pony friend. “There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you! What the hay happened?”

At that moment, all Lilith could do was just let out a deep sigh. “It’s a long story.”

“So for now, let’s get back to your place Coco and we can begin there. Also because Gaige in currently unconscious as well.” Axton said with relief at having not to deal with Brick wanting to be launched like out of a moonshot cannon.
> Chapter 14: Rest and Recollection
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time that they had made it back to Ponyville, Gaige had woken up from being knocked out cold and was caught up to speed by Axton and the others about everything from the key piece to the GOD-liath and even Brick wanting to do the same thing that Lilith did with her, despite her best intentions of telling him that it was a really bad idea. Yet, it wasn’t until only a few moments after they had just got back home that another headache happened to start.

Which, of course, was telling Princess Celestia and everypony else everything that happened. And as she stood next to Twilight, both princesses stared at them with shocked expressions. Most specifically at Brick and Axton. “Let me see if I can get this straight,” The diarch of the sun responded. “You went to Manehattan to find a piece of the key for this vault you’re looking for…”

“Yes…” Axton then replied.

“Encountered a group of armed ‘midgets’ that were shooting and attacking unarmed civilians…” Twilight then added on. Which was followed up by a one word response from Brick.

“Dead.”

“And you had to kill a… big-”

“Big hulking GOD-liath. Yes! Like we didn’t just get through explaining this to you already!” The irritated commando retorted back at Celestia as both princesses looked back at each other. Shortly before the princess of friendship looked at Axton and blunty told him what some would refer to as a ‘suggestion’, but came off more like an order.

“You need to stop going on walks.”

“Yeah, knowing him, that’s not going to happen,” Maya then spoke up, getting up from leaning off of a crystalline pillar as she looked back at the princesses. “Telling Brick and Axton not to do something reckless is like trying to tell you to not read books. They’re still going to do it anyway no matter what you do.”

Twilight just stared blankly at that, not even knowing how to exactly respond before just shaking her head out of bewilderment. That was until Gaige herself then spoke up, “Yeah, it’s not like that’s the strangest job we’ve done. Heck, one time we had Krieg jump into lava because Handsome Jack actually wanted to pay us if we killed ourselves. Thank god for New-U stations.”

Now everypony just stared at Gaige, including Lilith and the others as they tried to make sense at what she said. Which lead to Mordecai asking a question. “I’m sorry, did I hear that right? Handsome Jack… paid you… to have one of you jump into lava? How much?”

“Twelve Eridium.”

“Damn, seriously?!” Mordecai asked, almost sounding rather surprised by that statement. “I feel like I’ve been missing out on some of the things you guys have been doing since you killed Jack. Well, that and the whole thing with the Son of Crawmerax.”

“Should ah… even want to know what kind of ‘jobs’ ya do back where yer from?” Applejack now asked, sitting in her chair at the Cutie Map with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. “Cause ah think a few of us were lead ta believe that ya just looked for these Vaults. Ya know, since yer called ‘Vault Hunters’.”

“That’s not all we do, amiga.” Salvador now chimed in.

“We help out anyone on Pandora who needs it. Sometimes though, what that person wants can get rather weird. Trust me,” Gaige insisted as she looked back at the other ponies on this one.

“Oh really?” The voice of Rainbow Dash could be heard as she was idly flying by where Rarity, Starlight and Spike were. They were at the Cutie map as well, but not seated at the table and had themselves faced towards the vault hunters. “How about you name one that comes to your head and we’ll be the judge of that.”

“Well-”

“FACE MCSHOOTY!!” The outburst from Krieg shook the room, before he decided to slam his buzzaxe into an apple that rolled towards his feet.

“Ah beg your pardon?” Applejack now asked.

“Oh right,” The mechromancer now remembered, before pulling out her ECHO device. “Back in Thousand Cuts, just before we met Brick and became part of the Slabs, Krieg and I met a psycho named Face McShooty. Unlike every other psycho that we met up to this point, who wanted to kill us, this guy… wanted for us to shoot him in the face. I think I still have the audio transcript from it if you don’t believe me.”

“Um, that’s not really necessary-” Of course, Twilight’s reply was on deaf ears as Gaige began to play the audio from her ECHO device. It boomed all around the room as the whole group began to listen.

“SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! IN THE FAAAAAAAACE! DO IT! SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! FACE FACE FACE FACE FACE! NOW! BULLETS IN THE FACE! WANT EM! NEED EM! GIMME GIMME GIMME! AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL IT WILL BE FACESHOOTING O'CLOCK! BONGGGGG!”

“That… doesn’t sound too bad-” Rainbow then tried to make a comment. But like with Twilight, it fell on deaf ears as the rant of Face McShooty continued.

“KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! END OF JOKE! I'M GONNA SING A SONG! SHOOT ME AT THE END OF IT! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA! BONG!! … I NOTICE YOU HAVEN'T SHOT ME IN THE FACE YET! CURIOUS AS TO WHY! Maybe you're weighing the moral pros and cons but let me assure you that OH MY GOD SHOOT ME IN THE GODDAMNED FACE!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?!” That clip was followed by the sound of a Jakobs revolver being fired as the final words echoed through the ECHO. “THANK YOU!!”

By the time that was over, everypony in the room, including Roland, Mordecai and Lilith were caught off guard. Brick though, just seemed unphased. “Well, at least he got what he wanted… right?” Rainbow said, trying to sound positive despite the mood of everything going on in the room.

“Yeah, I guess,” Gaige shrugged, before turning to the other vault hunters nearby. “So, out of curiosity, out of all the things that we had done over the last few months, what did you guys like the most?”

“Hmm,” Maya thought to herself, scratching her chin. “I think I liked it when we dealt with that cult that Lilith accidentally started.”

Now that got Roland’s attention as he looked towards the other siren in the room. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Oh right… well, while I was waging a one-woman-war against the bloodshots so you could focus on taking down Jack, some of the other inhabitants in Frostburn Canyon started a cult. And no, not the ‘ask-you-for-autographs’ kind,” Lilith began to explain, scratching the back of her head. “We were trying to see if they were doing anything shady and at first, we thought they were just lighting themselves and their fellow murderers on fire for kicks. Though, when we realized that they were kidnapping civilians from Sanctuary and were planning to use them as human sacrifices, that’s when we had to shut the whole thing down.”

“Wow… and just when I thought Scootaloo wanting to do a fanclub on me was one thing.” Rainbow blinked, trying really hard in order to get the image of ‘human sacrifices’ out of her head to no avail. “Anything else?”

Now though, that was when a new voice spoke up. Appearing from under the shadow of an overhang in the castle as Zer0 took his turn to speak. “Washburn Refinery/C3n50r807 assignments/Obtained Pimpernel.”

“Um… what?” Applejack asked. “Does anypony know what he’s talking about?”

“He means a loader bot that we met in the Washburne Refinery while we were looking for the Lost Treasure of the Sands. It was once used as a eridium refinery by Hyperion before it was overrun by Sand Pirates,” Maya explained. “As for Censorbot, he was… an odd one.”

“How odd are we talking about here? Because many things that happen in Equestria could count as that.” At the moment that Rarity mentioned that, Pinkie Pie just simply shook her head as confetti and wrapped up peppermint candies began to drop out of her mane.

“Oh, that’s where I put those! Silly Pinkie!!”

“Well… let me put it to you this way,” Maya let out a sigh. “Censorbot was a hyperion loader bot who was obsessed with the concept of censorship. He wanted our help for stopping disgusting and illegal activities like pornography distribution, software piracy and inappropriate language. However, his choice to resolve such actions was primarily through murdering the individuals responsible for it, which can also be seen as an illegal activity that’s against the law in some parts of the galaxy.”

“And just when I thought Hunter Hellquist was bad.” Mordecai grumbled.

“Trust us, it was weird just even going through it. But there was a mission I decided to do while I was out in the Eridium Blight. I met up with a loader out there, however like Censorbot he wasn’t hostile towards me. When I went up to it I found out he calls himself Mal and wanted to become… Human.” Axton just sighed as he remembered what he had to do for the particular mission he was recalling.

“Doesn’t sound so-”

“He asked me to go around killing Bandits and taking their body parts and clothing so he could a become human. After I did all that, while listening to him talking… god it was almost as bad as Claptrap, he decided the next best thing to do was attack me. Some minutes went by and after dealing a fair bit of damage to him he realised that by feeling pain he is human. What I got out of it though was a decent weapon, but going through it was something I thought was just not right.”

“Especially when he said things like ‘I can’t wait to get a mortgage!’ and crap like that.” Gaige added on, before looking back at Axton. “What? I heard it over my ECHO when I was trying to check in on you.” 

“Then you know why I never want to meet him again.” 

“In any case,” Spike took a moment to interject in the conversation. “We’ve heard about some of the ‘odd jobs’ that most of you have done, but we haven’t heard from Sal… Sal… Salamander?”

“Salvador.” The gunzerker corrected him.

“Right,” The dragon acknowledged him, before asking his question now. “What kind of jobs did you like back where you’re from?”

The gunzerker took a moment to scratch his chin, thinking to himself of what could be the best possible answer for that question. Then, after a moment, it came to him! “Ah yes, la fiesta de cine a Opportunity!”

For a moment, it looked like some of the ponies in the room didn’t understand what he was talking about. Not to mention that one pony in particular thought of it as something different. “No silly, a party is an opportunity! Not at Opportunity!!” Pinkie Pie chuckled.

“Actually… It was at a place called Opportunity, because I know what he’s talking about,” Maya replied back, before looking to Lilith. “Remember when we borrowed Moxxi’s camera?”

The firehawk looked back, smiling in response to Maya’s question. “Most definitely… Good times.”

“Can somepony please provide some context as to what you mean? I’m getting kind of lost here.” Starlight now decided to speak up, the expression on her face being one that accurately represented her confusion.

“Opportunity was a city that Hyperion was constructing and planning to be their ‘utopia’ if their plans for taking over Pandora had succeeded,” The siren named Maya now explained in response to the unicorn’s question. “At the time that Salvador and I were there, we learned that Hyperion was putting up propaganda videos in order to try to get people to come visit and stay there. So, what we did was that we borrowed a spare camera from Moxxi and recorded some more honest footage of what happened if you were to stay. Engineers getting killed, moonshots crashing into cardboard cutouts of Handsome Jack and also caused a construction crane to come tumbling down. Once we did that, we altered the footage of the propaganda videos and replaced with our own.”

“And with that, no one will be going there anytime soon, amiga.” Salvador chuckled.

That just had Starlight and a few other ponies in the room stare blankly at both Salvador and Maya. Roland didn’t look that much surprised, Lilith seemed to enjoy recalling the memories while Mordecai and Brick looked like they had missed out on something that could’ve been rather fun. Though, it was about that time that one of the other vault hunters actually asked a new question now.

“So, how about instead of reflecting back on the past, we try to figure out what to do next?” Gaige replied back. “I mean, we already have two out of the six pieces that we need for this key and with the fact that midgets just happened to show up in Manehattan, that’s got me thinking about something else.”

“And that is?” Twilight asked.

“The very likely possibility that the very things that tried to kill us before on Pandora are somehow showing up here too,” The mechromancer told them, counting off the “I mean, think of it… we had the midgets in Manehattan, Maya said that she and Krieg encountered a huge Varkid in the north that they had to kill, we had the eridian guardians that crashed the gala where we found Roland and there was the loaders-”

“THAT WAS ACCIDENTAL!! AND IT’S THE ONLY REASON WHY I DO NOT TRUST ECHO.NET DIRECTIONS ANYMORE!!!” They heard Mr. Torgue shout out loud from Gaige’s ECHO device. “OH SH*T! I JUST GOT BACK FROM A VISIT TO MY GRANDMOTHERS AND I HEARD ABOUT THE LOADERS. SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING!!!”

Gaige just rolled her eyes at that, but then continued to speak. “My point remains. Even if you don’t count the loaders, you can’t just ignore the other three. There’s something else going on here. And whatever it is, we should be careful.”

“I think that’s a given with what have dealt with.” Axton spoke up. “I mean we at least have two of the key pieces, so what do you say we take a look at the map and hope we get something telling us where the next piece could be or call up Tannis to see what she says.” 

“As long as no one else is with Tannis if we call her, I don’t see a problem with it.” Roland said.

“I think the latter would be the most optimal solution,” Twilight now spoke up. “Even though its a map of Equestria, the Cutie Map tells us where we need to go if there’s a friendship problem. Not if there’s something we’re looking for, before turning to Celestia “Oh and fair warning, the woman they’re referring to… she’s… well.”

“Complex?” Celestia then asked.

“More like insane and insanely smart all in one package,” Maya told her. “She monologues to herself, thinks in scientific proportions and made Twilight lose her taste buds when it comes to bacon.”

“She also see’s companionship in a ceiling chair that she met at a bar fight.” Gaige added. “Even has a name for it.”

“That… doesn’t sound too bad compared to the kinds of ponies I have to handle in day court.” The princess added on.

“Do not be so sure/Words alone don’t compare to actions/She’s much more complex.” Zer0 now spoke, not missing a beat with his traditional haiku narrative.

“Let me just say that she knows what shes talking about and will also insult you all at the same time. I mean, if you give her enough time and just some random scrap lying around, she could probably build a shield around this whole place.” Axton spoke up as well.

All the diarch of the sun did was just nod her head in response, yet some would notice the pupils of her eyes slowly shrinking once she began to realize the kind of person that they were describing. “Noted.”

With that though, Gaige began to look back towards her ECHO and proceed to call Tannis. Yet, as she put it on speaker and the call began to connect, the scientist was not the one who picked up on the other end. Instead, it was someone rather different. “Hey sugar~. You left a little toy of yours buzzing back at my place. Would you care to come get it back~?”

“Oh no…” Maya groaned, facepalming herself. “Why now of all times?”

“Is this… Tannis?” Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow in response to the siren’s dismay.

“No no, that’s the exact opposite of Tannis,” Gaige replied. “That’s Moxxi. Otherwise known as Mad Moxxi. The kind of person that answer the question ‘what if sexual innuendos were a living person’?”

“She is known to make things, well to put it lightly, uncomfortable. She is a good person, but you would have to deal with her personality as well.” Axton somewhat hesitantly put in. 

“Oh do I hear the military man speaking on the other end now~? Don’t you know that three’s a crowd, dear Axy~?” Moxxi then said in a seductive manner.

“Oh what in the-!? Give me back my ECHO, Moxxi! I appreciate you returning it, but I’m in the middle of some important business and I can’t have myself be distracted by hearing you say that you came up with a new ‘piledriver’ kind of innuendo every two minutes!!” They now heard the sound of Tannis on the other end of the line.

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Tannis.” Gaige spoke once more.

“Tannis, do you have any new leads on the key pieces.” Axton said, wanting to move along the reason they called her. 

“Do I want to ask why Tannis left her ECHO at Moxxi’s?” Roland whispered to Brick, to which Brick just shrugged.

“Oh good, I was waiting for you to reach me. I needed to clear my head after all the insane reading I’ve been doing with all the books I finished. Especially with some that contain the most ludicrous of claims. Do you know that these Equines actually believe that a princess raises the sun and another raises the moon? Does planetary orbit mean anything over there?!”

Gaige just stared wide eyed at that, shortly before looking at Celestia. Something told her that the diarch of the sun was not too happy to hear something like that. Especially from someone that was trying to help them. Which, did not go so well as Celestia now chimed in too. “And what part of my duty to you is ludicrous?”

“Oh great. And just when I thought Tina was the tip of the iceberg in the category of insulting princesses.” Maya grumbled.

“And que the popcorn, this may take a while.” Axton sighed. “It's the match of the century: Science vs Magical BS, taking bets now.” 

“Well, everything. But considering that I’ve already had seen way too much of this magical BS that Axton calls happen before my eyes, I think it would be safer to give you my three hundred page thesis on the matter,” Tannis said as they all heard a loud ‘THUD!’ echo in the background as if a stack of papers landed on a table. “Besides, I would think that you had called me for a much more important reason than childish squabbling for a commando’s entertainment.”

“Ha! She got you there, amigo!” Salvador laughed.

Axton just shot his arms in air while shouting incoherently. Roland however decided to speak up then.

“So as Axton previously said, what do you got Tannis?” 

“Well, from what I am seeing, I am getting a few faint hints, but nothing really consistent to pinpoint accurately,” Tannis explained. “The only logical conclusion I can make though is that they are all outside the current landmass that you are on now and across the ocean. I still need to make a few calculations to be sure, but that is all that I have because much of my time has been put into the final conclusion of the thesis that I met earlier. That and somehow, the slot machines in Moxxi’s tavern now reek of the product of incest that is bacon.”

Now Celestia’s eyes widened and her pupils shrank in response to that. The same way that Twilight reacted the same way she first heard that response from the scientist.

“Tannis, that last bit was unnecessary to this conversation but thank you for your input… I guess.” Roland sighed. “But which ping is the closest to our current location?”

“Well, if I am reading the map of this correctly, which I’m sure that I am,” The scientist retorted. “The closest ping seems to be in a settlement that’s off to the north. Followed by two weaker pings to the east and southeast and one that’s faintly to the west.”

“The north?” Rarity now asked, scratching her hoof with a chin. “That can’t be just a coincidence now.”

“Is that where I think it is?” Maya now asked.

“Yeah, it’s the exact same place where I found both you and Krieg when you first came here,” The element of generosity responded. “The Crystal Empire.”

“Alright, but what exactly is the Crystal Empire?” Roland asked as he raised an eyebrow.

“It’s my niece’s kingdom to the north,” The diarch of the sun now answered, while using her magic to bring up a holographic projection of the empire itself. “As with its appearance, many of the inhabitants in the Crystal Empire are Crystal Ponies. Aside from Princess Cadence, her husband Shining Armor and their newborn, Flurry Heart. For parts of the year though, it’s known to be vastly covered in snow from time to time given how close it is to the Crystal Mountains.”

“Hunh… and just when I thought that the Crystal Empire was just a fancy name.” Gaige looked at the projection with a rather surprised look on her face.

“Hmm, so its a snow covered region and there is a city there, correct?” Roland asked wanting to confirm something. 

“Why doesn’t that sound familiar?” Mordecai then grumbled.

“Unless there is more to this place than what I’m seeing here, I don’t see how this can be an empire. But something just doesn’t sit right with me about this place.” Roland said.

“Well why not go and see for yourself then, go out and see the sites and all that.” Brick commented. “Maybe you might find more than just a key piece, maybe even a place for you and-”

“I’m going to stop you right there.” Roland sighed and shook his head. 

“Plus, you, Axton and Gaige have already had your fun considering what we heard in Manehatten.” Maya commented. “Perhaps it would be best for you to take a break. Besides, you did jump out of a building after all.”

That had Celestia, a few other ponies, and surprisingly Tannis, say the exact same thing at the same time “YOU DID WHAT!?!”

“What, the midget broke the window first I just followed after it. I mean Axton jumped out the same window.”

“Yeah, but at least I didn’t body check the ground when I landed.” Axton spoke up finally.

“I think they mean why did you do something stupid.” Roland commented, to which Brick just shrugged and smiled at that. 

“Hmm… before we head off anywhere though, I think there’s something we should use to help us out since we are encountering inhabitants and creatures from Pandora,” Maya said, recalling the varkid that she and Krieg encountered upon arriving. “Hey Tannis, have you heard about whether or not Hammerlock finished his almanac?”

“Aside from the fact that he was trying to come up with a better name for the word Bullymongs and his publishers repeatedly getting on his case for suggesting the word ‘bonerfart’ as a replacement, I believe it's mostly done. It even includes pictures for those who can’t seem to understand advanced grammar. Something of which I did consider to add in my thesis, but my ECHO printer ran out of toner earlier this week.”

“If you can, try to send us an early copy when Discord returns all of the books in Twilight’s research section. It might be helpful for our newfound friends here to know what exactly we deal with on a daily basis by letting them read about it instead of learning by staring death in the face.”

“BUT THAT WAY IS THE MOST FUN, PRETTY LADY!!!” Krieg protested.

“Well, we at least know where it is we need to go to. I guess I should get out then, also we should figure out where the other places are while we are heading to the empire then.” Roland spoke up. 

“Let’s have the same setup as we did in Manehattan then,” Twilight now spoke up. “Two of the original vault hunters and two of the new ones.”

“Dibs.” Maya immediately called out.

“Well, I guess it’s going to be then… according to Brick.” Roland said while also giving Brick a flat look. 

Of course, the next one to speak was actually that of Zer0, who was seen honing the edge of his blade before putting it away. “I will come as well/The people would be scared of/Krieg after last time.”

That had Lilith raise an eyebrow in response. “Last time?”

“He called Rarity ‘Butt Stallion’ before going on a bloody rampage against a group of Varkids where we landed.” Maya added, before looking to the psycho for a quick moment. “Plus the last thing I thing we need to do right now is scare anypony-”

“WHERE IS MY SHINY MEAT BICYCLE!?!”

“Yeah… I see your point. So then, Mordecai, wanna come with?” Roland asked the hunter. 

“Sure, I guess. Though, I’m not sure if it would be a good idea to have Talon flying around a city of crystal. Reflections can easily distract him.”

“Then is it possible to leave him here with one of the others if you don’t want him wandering around aimlessly?” 

“Maybe… though, the last time I left him with someone, he was going as far as to bite Lilith.”

“Which, by the way, I’m still not a fan of,” The other siren grumbled.

“Then maybe one of the ponies?” He hesitantly asked, worried it might end up being worse. It remained silent for a few moments… all before they heard a small whisper like voice speak up.

“U-um… i-if it’s o-okay with you, I-i can look after him, M-mister Mordecai…” Fluttershy said, and just from the look alone, Gaige was beginning to remember that this was the same look that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had when Mr. Torgue called them an ‘Explosion of adorableness’.

“Oh? You think you can look after Talon?” He asked, getting down on his knees and looking closer at the pegasus. “What experience do you have with animals.”

“I-i have a rabbit named Angel, a bear named Harry, a hummingbird named Hummingway, an oriole named Constance, a p-pair of otters, a chicken named E-elizabeak, Mr. Mousey, the spider f-fuzzy legs, and the fruit bat I-i have named T-toby?” She replied nervously. Which caught all the vault hunters attention rather quickly. “I-is that good?”

“Holy-” Maya said, before shaking her head. “H-how do you even have that many animals?”

“It’s her talent,” Her friend, Rainbow Dash soon spoke up while pointing at her cutie mark with an outstretched wing. “Fluttershy can be able to talk to animals and get along with them rather well. It’s the reason why her cottage is along the edge of the forest nearby.”

“Y-yeah… Though, some of the other critters have been there recently after hearing loud explosions that destroyed some of their homes a couple days ago…” The pegasus said. Which immediately had Gaige look towards Axton as her eyes narrowed.

“And you said your walk was for the wildlife…”

“Hey, I ONLY killed Manticores and those wooden wolves.” Axton said as he grumbled out his answer. “Collateral damage” He then mumbled to himself. Which just had Lilith facepalm herself as she let out a sigh.

“In any case, I think Talon can be in good hooves if Fluttershy looks after him,” Lilith replied back. “In the meantime, some of us need to rest while a few others should get ready for the trip up to the north.”

“In all honesty, some down time sounds real good right now. Dealing with GOD-liath took a lot out of me mentally.” Axton shuddered as he remembered that moment. “NEVER do I want to repeat that.”

“Right, so rest up while you can and we can see about getting the next piece and maybe have some warmer clothing just in case.” Roland commented. 

“Alright. Guess I’ll just crash here then.” Gaige grumbled, shortly before dragging herself up to the room that Twilight let her borrow and plopping face first onto the bed.





When the mechromancer began to wake up again… she felt hazy. Her vision was blurred, but she felt as if something seemed… off. Gaige did not find herself in the same dreamy forest that she was in before. In fact, she did not know where she entirely was to be completely honest. Everything around her felt foreign and cold, like she was stuck in Three Horns again. But there was no snow at her feet, no sound of bullymongs in the distance or anything that would immediately make her think that she was in Three Horns. There wasn’t even any form of lights at all. Just endless shadows all around her.

That was… until she saw something out of the ordinary. In the distance in front of her, a pale looking filly just sat with its back facing her. But when Gaige tried to get closer, she could hear what sounded like a voice echo in her head. “Helplessness… that is the feeling that I hate the most… yet, it feels that it was once all that I was. Free will was something I never had… all because of how I was born.”

When hearing that, Gaige stopped. The words sent a chill down her spine as she tried to slowly approach the pony in front of her. And the more that she got closer, the more that she continued to hear the voice. “Those who were close to me only used me for their own ambitions. They say it was to ‘ensure my future’, but how can you have a future when you are trapped inside a castle of glass that you can never leave? When you are told what to say, how to act and what to do… where they say that they love you while they feed you the poison that makes you fade away? And when I was free… it was only momentary. Before fate took its turn.”

When Gaige approached the pony, she began to notice something. The pale filly had a gray mane and tail, alongside the faded outline of what looked like a pair of wings. But it was as she attempted to reach out that the filly turned around and a white claw grabbed hold of the mechromancer and squeezer to her. Yet, despite the hostile action, the filly’s face looked sad. “W-what are you-?” The mechromancer croaked, struggling to break out, even though she was not getting anywhere.

“Do not trust those you have lost before. Their actions aren’t of their own will.”

And immediately, the filly began to brightly glow as everything around her went to white.





Almost instantly, Gaige woke up with a sudden gasp. She could feel sweat rolling down her back as she tried to catch her breath after everything that she had witnessed. Even though it was just a dream, part of her felt that was too real to be seen as ‘just a dream’. And the filly… something made her think that she had seen her before.

Which only left one question in the Mechromancer’s mind as she looked outside at the star filled sky. “Just who was she?”
> Chapter 15: Buzz Off
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time that the morning sun began to rise,  Maya, Zer0, Roland and Mordecai were already waiting at the train station alongside that of Twilight, Spike and Starlight. The three of them were needed to help with some business in the empire as well, so it seemed practical for all of them to go together as one group. Though, the seating on the train was the part that was the most difficult. Since the cabins had enough space for four ponies each, it meant that they had to do some adjusting in order to accomodate everypony.

Yet, things were awkward for Roland and Mordecai when Maya decided to sit with Twilight, Starlight and Spike. Meaning that they were left with the one task that might’ve been harder for either of them to bear with than listening to Tannis go on for hours on another one of her wild theories. 

Either going through a two hour train ride without saying anything… or trying to make small talk with Zer0. A task that was the conversational equivalent of trying to hold down Tina and have her openly eat something other than crumpets, cookies or… as Roland was informed of recently, a salad.

“Uh, so Zer0, um what… uh exactly… um…” Roland then clears his throat to clear to try and clear the awkward air coming from him. He then looks to Mordecai to try and start the conversation by motioning with his eyes for him to say something. Only for the hunter to just raise an eyebrow and shrug his shoulders. The Soldier then just lets out a breath to try with a small glare towards Mordecai and begins. 

“What did you… um what did you do before all this?” Hesitantly Roland asks about Zer0’s past.

“Is this important/I believe who I am now/is more important,” Zer0 spoke in haiku. A cryptic answer for both Roland and Mordecai to try and decipher.

“Ok… then, so how about after or I guess in between Vault Hunting?” Again Roland hesitantly trying to keep this from getting more awkward than it already is.

“I seek a challenge…” The simple sentence really confused them again. “To test and maintain my skills/Seek new challenges.”

“Not really sure if this is an easy nut to crack, Roland.” Mordecai then told him

“Well I mean, you can’t blame me for wanting to try… even if it failed.” Roland mumbled that last bit to himself before he sighed and just looked out the window of the train. Slowly watching the landscape roll by.

‘Still can’t shake this feeling like something big is coming though.’ He then thought to himself. 

“I heard that Roland/Please do us all a favor/And do not jinx us.”

“Anyway, how has Sanctuary been doing though? It has been some time, so I’m a little curious about that place.” Roland said to change the subject, turning back to face Mordecai and Zer0. 

“Things have been alright to say the least,” Mordecai told him. “Things have been… busy since Maya and the other new vault hunters killed Jack and the Warrior.”

“Don’t forget your friend/One who told you of Elpis/Athena was it?” Zer0 then stated, a small question mark forming over his mask as he looked back towards Mordecai.

“Hmm, Athena you say? Haven’t heard of her since that whole thing with General Knoxx.” Roland said as he is now curious about this. “What’s this about going to Elpis?”

“Well, you see, it all started while we were focusing on getting Hyperion off the planet. We got a tip from a woman named Valerie about Athena and how she was helping some ‘con-man’ and a former Hyperion Stooge. When Lilith caught wind of this, she asked both of us to take her in,” Mordecai explained. “From there, Lilith had Athena tell us about all the ‘events’ on Elpis from the Lost Legion, Colonel Zarpedon, and how the man named Jack rose to power… otherwise known as your lunar vacation.”

“Oh yeah, that was a trip alright. But, then Athena is in Sanctuary right now then?” Roland asked. 

“More or less. She comes by every so often, but she lives with some ‘Janey Springs’ person. Hell, she went on a crazy job from Jack that involved going into Claptrap’s mind so she could pay their rent. While subsequently leading to the demise of all Claptraps and leading to the one that we know being the only one left.”

“Claptrap Genocide/A story of betrayal/Such pain and sadness.”

“Now that I know that, I kinda feel bad for him. But I guess she is alright then if this is the case, and here I thought one of you would’ve killed her.” Roland said, impressed at what Athena did and some slight sadness over what happened to Claptrap. 

“Yeah… about that… Lilith almost did.” Mordecai told him.

“... I…” Roland just lets out a heavy sigh at that. “And here I was mostly joking about that, but to actually almost do so…” 

“Ever had that feeling that if someone didn’t do something, then someone they lost would still be alive?” Mordecai asked. “Lilith was kind of going through that the more that she heard Athena tell her the entire story. The part on Elpis, not Claptrap’s mind.”

“Ok, that makes sense right there. I mean how would she have known that when she took that job all this had happened.” Roland then just puts his head in his hands. “Man, a lot of things happened, just don’t know how to process it all right away.”

“Give it time. That’s what we all have to do at some point,” As Mordecai said that, he added on something else too. “Also, Athena said that once they started approaching the vault and it got to the point that Jack wanted to fix the eye of the destroyer and was saying that there should be no survivors when they were bombarded by DAHL before reaching the vault, she had a feeling he was losing it and going off the deep end.”

“At least she figured things were getting suspicious with Jack.” Roland then rubs his forehead. “I hope that nothing worse happens that already has. However given our past experiences, that isn’t going to happen.” He then lets out a chuckle. 

“Guys, we’re finally approaching the empire now.” They both heard Maya say to them.

“Well, time to get ready for this.” Roland gets up and stretches and lets out a few satisfying pops. “Man I forgot how stiff your body can become just by sitting.”

“I still remember it.” Mordecai told him as they got up from their seats and all of them began to walk towards where the exit was on the cabin doors and turn into his pony form before looking back at Roland. “You might want to change forms so… you know… don’t give the locals a scare?”

“That is rather wise/We have not met the locals/who live in this place,” Zer0 spoke once more. “Attention is not/something we would want right now/Best to stay hidden.”

“Oh, yeah that might be for the best.” Roland then takes a second to prepare himself for what he is about to do. He then takes off his bracelet and he then sees himself become a earth pony. “I don’t think I can get used to this.” He then slowly walks forward on unsteady legs to get used to his new body. “Yep, won’t be able to get used to this.”   

As they got off the train, they watched as Spike took off the trench coat that he was wearing, was greeted by a bunch of mares who knew him for his ‘heroics’ for the crystal empire, and no more than a minute later did all of them run away in fear. Much to the surprise of Twilight and Starlight because neither of them had any idea as to what exactly was going on. Even the four vault hunters were confused as they approached the front of the castle and the guards were not letting any of them through until one pony, a pink colored alicorn, decided to do some kind of weird hoofshake… dance… thing and that's how all the guards were able to actually let them through.

Of course, that was also when the alicorn and the two unicorns next to her looked back and noticed the four vault hunters with them. “Twilight dear. I don’t believe you had the chance to introduce us to your friends here.”

“Oh, my apologies Cadence,” Twilight chuckled before turning around. “These are some friends of mine that are looking for something in the Empire. I think Celestia sent a letter to you about it recently.”

“She did,” The orange colored unicorn told him. “But she didn’t say who they were exactly.”

“Well let’s clear that up,” The princess of friendship then spoke up. “This is Maya, Roland, Mordecai and Zer0. They were wondering if you had noticed anything out of the ordinary recently.”

“The only thing out of the ordinary has been what’s been scaring mostly everypony recently, Twily,” The white unicorn with the blue mane and shield like cutie mark stated.

“I’m sorry, Twily?” Mordecai now asked. “Do you two know each other?”

“Shining Armor here is my older brother,” Twilight clarified as they continued talking. However, after a little while, Maya just felt as if standing around was not quite going to help them when it came to finding this piece and decided to step outside while they talked about some ‘changeling’ creature that somehow got in the Empire.

Taking a moment, she pulled out her ECHO and activated the tracker that Tannis had sent to their device to try and see if she could find the origin of the signal that was picked up. However, the only thing was getting to be a bit of a problem was that she realized that what she was looking for was in the tundra that was outside of the city.  Which, all things considered, only seemed similar to that of three horns or the southern shelf.

The other thing she soon began to realize was that even though she was right at the point where she needed to be in order to find what she was looking for, she could barely make out anything that was around her. In fact, the only thing that she could make out was that there looked to be a chasm nearby that lead underground.

“... Thank god that we don’t hurt ourselves from falls like this.” She said, before changing into her siren form and sliding on inside, feet first. Of course, it was only as she was landing that she heard something from outside that kind of… caught her off guard.

“How do I know you’re really a rock? Hmm. Not talkin', huh-?”

“Wait… was that Spike-?” That was followed by her looking up to see a hole in the ceiling, hearing something slip as she heard Spike scream and fall inside. “Oh sh-!”

Only thing was, before the siren could actually do anything, something caught him. It was not her… and it did not look like a pony either. It looked more like a bug kind of creature. Though, Maya could tell that it was not a varkid for sure. It looked too equine like to be one. “If he’s safe up there, then I’ll just continue looking.”

“Oi… Maya, come in!” She now heard the rough sound of her ECHO device as she picked it up.

“Mordecai?” She asked.

“Who else did you think it was? One moment you were taking a breath of fresh air, the next moment you go missing. The guards that were with Spike are looking for you right now while Roland and I are staying here-”

“Mordecai, just calm down please,” Maya told him. “The tracker from Tannis lead me to looking for the key piece. It’s seems to be in a cavern under the tundra. I’m looking into it now.”

“Alright, then do you want us to meet up with you or can you handle it alone?” Roland then chimed in as well.

“Pfft, to be honest, I think I got this. Though, I’ll ECHO you if something goes wrong.” Maya replied, before getting out a incendiary Maliwan Pistol from her inventory. Keeping it on hand just in case something were to pop out of nowhere.

“We will be on standby then, though it hasn’t been very difficult with everyone here on edge.”

“Yeah, but not everything might quite be what it seems. Someone you might see as a threat might turn out to be an ally if you give them the chance,” Maya told them back. “Hell, look at Krieg for crying out loud. I thought he was just a psycho wanting to kill us and make hammocks out of my skin, but he actually saved me from a pack of rats instead.”

“True enough, and though it doesn’t need to be said, be careful.”

Maya just let out a sigh before putting her ECHO away. Holding onto the pistol that she was carrying as she cautiously began to move deeper into the caverns. As she moved further in, a familiar sound could be heard echoing along the walls as she carefully proceeded forward.

Of course, when she got down there and found where the key was at, what she saw immediately had her switch weapons from her pistol to her Hellfire SMG. “Oh brilliant… The Empire has an infestation problem.”

“Maya, what exactly do you mean by, “Infestation” in the Empire?” Roland asked with a little but of worry.

“I mean a problem from Pandora,” The siren clarified, as she heard several loud screeches in the distance. “And great… I just kicked up a Varkid’s nest.”

“Wait, it’s just Varkids seriously? You don’t see anything else down there with you in terms of enemies?” Roland then asked in more confusion than anything.

“Yeah, seeing is kind of hard down here because it’s mostly dark… let me see if I can light the place up a bit,” With that, Maya threw out a firestorm grenade, flames raining down from the ceiling as she got a better look at what it was. “Oh sh*t… Chubby and Badass Varkids… not one, but several. There’s a whole swarm down here!”

“Ok then, we will be on standby in case any decide to come up from where you are.” 

“Got it. Just… mute your echos unless you want to hear a lot of Varkid screaming.”

“No need to tell me twice.” Roland then cut the call. Which prompted Maya to throw two more firestorm grenades, while also making sure that she had her corrosive Sand Hawk SMG ready so she could be able to tear through the thick and hardened shells that would protect a badass varkid from most kinds of gunfire. The screams of the varkids echoing around the cavern while she shot them down.

As one tried to blindside her though, the siren noticed this coming and began to channel her phaselock ability through her arm. Holding one of the badasses in place. “Shut UP!” She snapped, before firing off a couple more rounds into the badass and reloading the weapon shortly afterwards. Once the badass was killed, the orb of phase energy transferred over to one of the chubby’s. A trait that was known to Maya as ‘sub-sequence’ as it allowed for her to swiftly make quick work of some of the chubby’s in the room so she could focus on the remaining badasses.

Of course, as she was cleaning things up, two things happened. The first being that one of the chubby’s spit out the vault key piece upon getting torched to death by the firestorm she threw out earlier. But it was as she went to pick up the piece that she noticed something in the far back corner of the room. Something that made her realize just how much trouble she was really in. “Oh come on-!”

It was a Varkid metamorphosis pod. And it was inflated to the point that it looked like a huge balloon as it burst open. And Maya was not exactly happy by what it was… as well as the fact that it barreled through the small opening above her with enough force to replicate an earthquake.

“Roland, we got a MAJOR problem now. God, please pick up!!” Maya said, scrambling to get topside and trying to avoid the falling ice. “ROLAND!! MORDECAI!! ZER0!! GODDAMNIT, PICK UP!!”

“Ma- ho- Finally got through, what the hell happened down there?!” 

“All three of you get outside the empire, now! I got the key piece, but an ultimate badass varkid just broke through the ice and is heading straight for you guys!!”

“Got it. MORDECAI, ZER0 WE GOT INCOMING FROM UNDERGROUND!!”

“Down From Deep Below/Here comes a new challenger/Ready for combat” Zer0 responded.

“I hear ya, Ro- Hijo de puta, that things HUGE!!”

“Not helping here!!” Maya yelled, changing her grenade to the magic missile before chucking one. However, the projectiles detonated before it could even reach the target. “Try to clip its wings. My grenades can’t reach it from that far away!”

“I can’t get an accurate enough shot, but maybe my turret can do so.” Then he deployed his turret and while he is waiting for the turret to acquire the varkid Roland kept trying to take potshots at its wings. Eventually the turret was able to get a lock on the varkid and began shooting at it, within a minute its shots were able to tear through one of the wings, but it wasn’t until they heard two rounds of sniper ammo being fired that the varkid came crashing down.

“Gotcha, pendejo!”

“No I got it first/Your shot hit after my first/Why do you use Sloth?” Zer0 then stated.

“What? Like hell! I hit it first!”

“Could the two of you for the love of god just SHUT UP! You both got it down, congratulations! Now let me really finish it this time!” With that, Maya came racing over, shortly before grabbing onto the varkid and firing off a phaseblast. Which caused pieces of the Varkid’s head to splatter everywhere. Including on the walls of the castle, the tundra…

… And on Roland.

“While I appreciate that it is dead, I REALLY don’t like being covered in Varkid brain matter.” Roland said, completely unamused.

“Fatality.”

“Hey, you weren’t the one who had to deal with all these annoying bastards for the last fifteen minutes or-” Maya then paused, looking back towards where the gates of the Empire were as her tune immediately changed. “Aw crap-”

“What’s the matter, amigo?” Mordecai asked. The only response that Maya could give was her pointing a finger towards the castle gate. Where Princess Twilight stood there with Starlight, Spike… and a bug like creature standing next to him.

“Is that… how you usually deal with problems outside the empire. Because I really hope it isn’t.” The bug pony then spoke.

“This is just a special case, I think would be the right term to use.” Roland said, still unamused as he was still getting rid of the Varkid brain matter off him. 

“Oh good… I was getting worried that somebuggy like me will end up the same way.”

Maya herself just raised an eyebrow at that. “Some… buggy? Did I hear that right.”

“Maya, Roland… I would like you to meet Thorax,” Spike then spoke up. “He was the changeling that we were looking for… but it turns out, he’s a defector from his old hive. He came here wanting to learn about friendship and kind of saved my life a couple of times. Thorax, this is Maya, Roland and their two friends Mordecai and Zer0. Vault Hunters and all around… I think the word is badasses?”

“Spike, Language-”

“No no, he’s actually right.” Maya interjected. “We are badasses. Hell, we took down a Varkid that was the size of two train cars. I think that counts right?”

“As far as i’m concerned, it does. But that thing is way smaller from what you and the others have taken down before, correct?” Roland having commented as he finally got rid of the Varkid mess on him. 

“Don’t get me started on Vermivorous…” Maya grumbled. “It’s the only reason why Axton got his Norfleet and the only reason why he got it was because he was able to trick Krieg into giving it to him.”

“I feel like if I ask, it won’t lead to anything I would want to know or what happened when he asked for it.” Roland was a bit concerned about what Axton asked of Krieg to get him to hand over that Rocket Launcher, but he would rather not want to listen to the story.

“Well…”





“YOU SAY THAT I CAN GET MORE PECS IF I GIVE YOU ROCKET GUN, COMMAND MAN?!!”

“Uhh… Yes?”

“SOLD!!!”





“Let’s just say that Axton has a way with words when it comes to negotiating for something he wants.”

In response, Mordecai just shrugged and Zer0 had a symbol of a face with a raised eyebrow as the hunter spoke. “Fair enough I guess.”

“I don’t know what to say, but alright then.” Roland just stood there thinking it over before turning to Twilight and the others. “So mind filling us in on who the new, er bug is?” 

“I thought we did.” Spike told them

“Let’s just say he’s a defector… like how you defected from the crimson lance, he defected from his… hive, right?” Mordecai asked, which lead to the changeling nodding his head.

“Well, that answers that then. So what should be done now, save for cleaning up the mess.” 

“Well… maybe explain to Cadance and the others about your… appearance. Rather not cause a new scare since she saw you guys transform back to this while you were rushing for the wall.”

As Twilight said that, all the vault hunters fell silent. Well, except for one as the symbol on Zer0’s mask changed. “Whoops.”

“Yeah, that would make sense.” Roland then just shrugged. “As long as she is understanding, I think it will go by easily.”

“Roland, we’re a bunch of vault hunters on a world that mostly alien to us,” Mordecai deadpanned. “If I can take a note from Zer0 earlier, please don’t jinx us.”

“Yeah, we should be fine… as long as the dead Varkid smell doesn’t stick to Roland’s clothes.” Maya told him.

The soldier then takes a whiff of himself only to recoil and gag slightly. “I need a shower if anything, and fast.” Then he looks over to Mordecai “Also I meant her understanding this is what we normally look like.”

“That’s what I mean. Please don’t jinx us in general.”
> Chapter 16:Note to-self, Don't Piss Off Maya
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Don’t say a single word, Mordecai.” Roland told the hunter as he, Mordecai, and Zer0 were held at spearpoint from guards. They appeared shortly after the pink alicorn, named Cadence, with what looked to be the Captain of the guard with them and were told to not resist. 

“We were the ones telling you not to jinx it-” The hunter spoke, just before noticing a spearhead getting closer to his throat.

“Cadance, this is completely unnecessary,” Twilight spoke to the princess of love and tried to get her to call off the guards. “They’re not a threat-”

“How would you know if they are a threat or not?” Cadance then asked. “The last time that somepony had seen a creature like them, the locals heard some hooligan screaming about wanting to surf on an ocean of blood and entrails.”

That just lead to the one who wasn’t having a weapon pointed at their throat to speak as she stood next to Twilight. “Dammit… of course Krieg gives them the wrong impression…”

“And who are you exactly?” Cadance then asked.

“You really don’t know?” Maya then asked. “Because if I recall correctly, my companions and I were just talking with both you and your husband in your castle no less than an hour ago before you had a Varkid problem that we needed to take care of,” Then, the siren got an idea. She still had the bangle on her wrist as she took it off. Letting the energy from it turn her back into a pony as she looked back at the Princess. “Does this ring any bells?”

“W-what? B-but you’re… h-how-?”

“How about this… You have your soldiers stop pointing their weapons at my companions like they want to slit their throats and then in exchange, we can explain everything. Besides, your aunt already knows about us and if you give us three minutes in order to explain everything, then we won’t have to have things escalate,” That was followed by Maya glaring towards Cadance right now as she looked back at her. “And fair warning, you do not want to piss me off.”

“W-what makes you think that you can-?” Before she could finish though, that was when Maya pointed to the dead Varkid that was outside of the castle walls.

“Maybe it’s the fact that I killed that with my bare hands… Or perhaps you need a demonstration,” With her arm glowing blue, Maya began to phaselock what remained of the corpse of the varkid and crushed it with utter force like if somepony were to crumble up a piece of paper. “Well?”

At first, she was shocked by all of this. But that was before Cadance gave off a nod. A sign for all the guards to slowly back off from the other hunters. As for Maya though, she looked back to Twilight and sighed. “Well, that definitely played out a lot differently in my head.”

“You think?” Twilight then asked. “You do realize some ponies would consider that as you threatening her, right?”

“I call it… encouraging her not to do anything stupid.”

“That’s exactly what a threat would be!!” Twilight retorted. Though, as she was talking, all Maya did was turn to Spike as she asked him something.

“Spike… Could you please write a letter to Celestia? I feel that things would go a lot smoother if we have her helping us with explanations.”

The young dragon did not need to be told twice as he got ink, quill and a piece of parchment and began to write.





“Well, I think you maybe went a little overboard with the explanation there.” Roland said as he walked forward. “But at least this situation is a bit better.”

“Personally, I just thought that the best way to get them to listen was to not try and provoke us,” The siren told the soldier as they were now returning to Cadance’s castle. The vault hunters were with Cadance, Thorax and Twilight as the guards from earlier were re-assigned elsewhere. Spike and Shining Armor also happened to be with them too. “If Lilith were here, she would approve of what I did.”

“Knowing Lilith, I can agree with her on that.” Mordecai then added on.

“Can’t exactly argue with you there.” Roland added as well. “I mean that is the fastest way to diffuse a situation… for a siren anyway.” 

“Yeah, Twilight told me a bit about the ‘sirens’ that they know of…” Maya replied back, folding both of her arms as they were walking. “And after hearing about them, honestly, those bitches got nothing on me.”





“Why do I feel that someone just insulted us?”





“Well, considering there are only six ever sirens, I think that speaks volumes of how little they are.” Roland then shook his head. “Just don’t do anything too harsh if you ever meet them.” 

“If we meet them… they’ll wish they haven’t.” The siren emphasized, just as she noticed the other ponies stop walking and they were in the center of the crystallized throne room.

“Fair enough, though for their sake they better stay away.” Roland then took a look around before asking a question. “So, what do you all want to talk about now?”

“Honestly,” They now heard Twilight speak up as she trotted to the four of them, with Cadance and Thorax behind her as well as her brother. “I think the one thing that’s needed is an explanation. I know that you had Spike send a letter to Celestia, but-”

“But?” Maya then asked.

“But we want to hear it from you first,” Shining then asked. “If it is true that Princess Celestia knows about you, then she can verify whatever you tell us right now. That and I believe my wife and I have a few questions for you.”

That in turn, had each one of the vault hunters that was there looking at each other for a couple of moments. That was, until one of the vault hunters that had been mostly silent up to this point, spoke. “A valid reason/What questions do you want to/have answered captain?” A question mark began to light up on Zer0’s face shortly afterwards. But all that did was just have Shining look back at Cadance with a puzzled look on his face. Just before Twilight said something.

“Don’t worry… that’s how he normally speaks.”

The face on the guard captain flinched a bit, before shaking his head. Taking Twilight’s word for it, he then decided to ask his first question. “So, let’s start with the simplest one. What exactly are you supposed to be? I believe you already told us your names, but that doesn’t explain your appearance.”

“Well, that’s one way to ask about it,” Mordecai mumbled to himself.

“You are going to/have to be a little more/specific captain.” Zer0 added on.

“Shiny, I think the question you asked might have come off a bit vague,” Cadance interjected, before looking back at them. “Here, let me try… What kind of creature are you? The only ones that ponykind have seen that are bipedal are either minotaurs or dragons. Yet, I don’t think your either of those.”

“And of course that’s how it starts,” Maya now took a turn to mumble, before actually answering the question. “We’re human… well, mostly,” At the last part, she turned to Zer0, who just had the number 0 on his face mask now. “We kind of don’t know what Zer0 is, but it’s not really that important.”

“Okay, and what exactly are you… occupation wise I mean.” Cadance clarified herself.

“We’re Vault Hunters,” She said, before turning to Roland and Mordecai. “Do either of you guys want to help explain? I feel like I’ve been doing most of the talking here.”

“I can take over for a little bit.” Roland stated before taking a moment to begin. “Maya and Zer0 here are the second generation of Vault Hunters, while myself and Mordecai here are the first generation. Now Vault Hunters are those who seek the challenge of the vault. The vault is a place that holds many treasures, and is also guarded by a very dangerous creature. The one myself, Mordecai, Brick, and Lilith faced off against was called the Destroyer. When we aren’t looting the vault of it’s treasures and weapons, we go around and do odd jobs for the people of Pandora so we can make a living there somewhat easier. However after we defeated the Destroyer, things decided to take a turn for the worse… in the form of a man called Handsome Jack.” 

That just got Thorax, Shining and Cadance to all stare at him with wide eyes as their pupils shrunk down to the size of raisins. All while Twilight facehooved herself and Mordecai let out a sigh. “You forgot to mention that all of this happened on Pandora, our planet… not this one.”

“Yeah, that might’ve helped,” Twilight herself added on, before looking back at Roland. “Perhaps you should start back from the beginning. If I recall correctly from what Brick said, it all started five years ago…”

That just had Mordecai smile a bit in response as he looked back at the princess of friendship. “Heh… clever girl.”

The ensuing conversation lasted roughly about an hour or so. Roland recalled as much as he could from everything regarding the first vault being opened and the destroyer while Maya and Mordecai both took turns in order to explain the events of everything afterwards. 

Of course, finding out that Roland had been ‘killed’ by Handsome Jack was a bit of a stir for Shining Armor… And part of him was resisting the urge to use a ‘life scan’ spell to see if his heart was still beating. Though, that just made Twilight think that her brother had seen one too many zombie movies, and unknowingly reminded both Roland and Mordecai of the ‘zombie island’ that was once owned by Dr. Ned.

After explaining the context behind what had happened on Pandora, they soon began to explain their reasons for being in Equestria. “So… let me see if I understand this correctly,” Thorax now spoke up. “This… Discord, brought you all here to search for one of these vaults your kind hunt… and to unlock it, you need six pieces of a key?”

“That’s right,” Maya told them, now pointing to the piece on her arm. “Two of my fellow Vault Hunters back in Ponyville already have a piece and that makes this one number three.”

“And what is it exactly that you hope to find in there?” Cadance’s question was one that Maya could not exactly reply too immediately. Mostly because of the fact that it was rather unknown as to what exactly was inside this particular vault.

“Well, that we are a bit unsure about right now… though, if anything, it won’t hurt just to try and find out.” Mordecai then added on, before looking around the room as a new question began to appear in his mind. “By the way, didn’t Princess Celestia say she was coming-” He was momentarily cut off when a bright flash of light filled the room as the alicorn he was referring too soon made her presence known. “-here?”

“Indeed I did,” Celestia said in response. “I apologize for the delay. I had to prematurely finish Day Court for the day in order to come here as quickly as I could. Now, what seems to be-”

Yet, in the moment that she was looking around the room, her eyes soon locked onto Spike and the changeling that stood next to him. Which, made Thorax quiver a bit in fear as he hid behind Spike. But before Princess Celestia could say or do anything, that was when her former student spoke up.

“Princess, let me be the first to say that Thorax here is not harmful. He’s a defector from Chrysalis’ Hive.”

“A defector?” Celestia then asked.

“Y-yes,” Thorax told her in response. “I-i wanted to learn what it was like to not have to steal emotion and joy from anypony else. That there was a better way in order to survive than what Chrysalis was doing now… I-i’m nothing like her.”

“He means it,” Spike added on. “He saved my life and in turn, I was able to help him be accepted into the Crystal Empire. Hopefully, you… could potentially give him a chance like we have.”

Celestia looked around the room for a moment, before looking back at her student, niece and the captain of the guard as she let out a sigh. “Alright… I guess. Though, if I recall correctly, I don’t think that this was what Spike’s letter was talking about when he said my presence was needed.”

“Oh right… That might have to do with us,” Maya added. “We kind of had to explain everything because when some of the hostile species from our planet tried to head for the crystal empire, we needed to change forms… though, after we did, Cadance kind of got hostile and I had to ‘convince’ her to not try anything and let us explain.”

“You mean intimidate?” Spike asked.

“More like threaten.”

“Twilight-”

Twilight’s subtle correction and Mordecai’s attempt in order to cut her off came as a shock to one unicorn in the room. Who, up until now, was rather suspicious of her. But on the revelation of that, Shining Armor was not just angry, but he was absolutely livid. “You threatened Cadance!?!!”

“Shining, no-!!”

Twilight and Cadance’s plea, along with Spike trying to hold him down did not stop the unicorn from trying to rush at Maya. However, all the other Vault Hunters did was just back up and give her some space. The siren herself, just smirked. She didn’t need any weapons for this. After all, she had other ways in order to try and knock some sense into him.

Of course, Shining himself had tried to rush directly at her, only for Maya to just dodge effortlessly as she looked back at her opponent. Their back facing the door as he tried to rush again. Then, the tattoos on her arm began to glow and shimmer, looking back at her opponent with what sounded like a bored tone as she said two words.

“Please stop.”

Shortly after saying that, the unicorn felt himself being suspended in midair in the middle of the hall. But with a motion to Maya’s arm, he was sent flying out through the main doors of the palace. The unicorn cursing as he fell down the steps. 

Everybody in the room, including the vault hunters that were with her, just stared in shock. Maya though, just seemed genuinely surprised. “Hunh… well that never happened before,” She said to herself, before looking back at everypony else. “So where were we?”

Roland just facepalmed “Explaining to Celestia how we weren’t hostile towards the ponies here.” He then lets out a sigh as he drags his hand down his face. “But then again, he did try to attack you.” He then looks towards Celestia. “It’s been a, shall we say, wild ride since we got here.” 

“I can tell,” Celestia replied. “My apologies on behalf of the Captain. Shining’s known to be very… defensive towards those that he cares for.”

“Well… why don’t we just explain to you what happened since we arrived here in the crystal empire then-?” Mordecai offered to the princess. However, it was as he was speaking that the armband that Discord gave him seemed to… fizzle a bit. Smoke was coming out as all eyes were on him. In a panic, he tried to take it off. But before he could, a flash of light went off. Blinding everyone in the room.

However, when the light began to simmer down, Mordecai wasn’t exactly human anymore. Somehow… for some reason, the band turned him into the last thing anyone expected. The hooves that he would have in his Equestrian form were now claws and talons. His muzzle was replaced with a beak as he looked back towards everyone.

“Uh… W-what just hit me?”

“Mordecai… I don’t want you to panic…” Spike now said, looking back at the hunter as the dragon tried to calm him down. “But you turned into a griffon.”

“I’m a what-?” Before he could say anymore, Mordecai looked down, only to see his reflection in the crystalline floor. And a few moments after seeing it, he did the only thing that would see logical.

He fainted.





Meanwhile…

“Lilith, I know that you wanted to just take a break and have a walk outside,” Gaige spoke to the siren as both her and Lilith were coming back inside from a stroll they had around Ponyville. “But was that really necessary?”

“What? I was just trying to show that I wasn’t interested in that guy.”

“You pushed him away and in turn, it set his mane on fire.” The Mechromancer deadpanned as they soon saw Axton in the middle of the castle of friendship.

“That was an accident.”

“He was lucky not to be liquified-” She said, just before the three of them had an unexpected visitor as Discord just popped in out of nowhere. “Hunh… Why hello, Discord. Any reason why you’re dropping by this afternoon?”

“Well, actually yes… I’m going to need you to give me the bands I gave you.” That statement alone had all three vault hunters looking at one another. Puzzled by his statement.

“Um… may I ask ‘why’?” Lilith asked.

“Well, I just got a letter from Twilight that some kind of complication involving the band your friend Mordecai was wearing turned him into that of a griffon,” Discord told them, before showing a projection of what appeared to be Mordecai’s transformation and him fainting a few seconds later. “Therefore, as a precaution, I’m taking the bands back temporarily so that the same thing doesn’t exactly happen to you. I rather not have one of you turn into a dragon, Yak or something else. And dear chaos, I rather not think about if this instance happened to your psycho friend, Krieg.”

Gaige herself willingly agreed to give hers up. Lilith shortly did the same as well. Yet, the commando in the room was not thrilled with the current predicament and was downright refusing to cooperate. Yet, Discord was not exactly one for wanting to ‘convince’ Axton to listen and with a snap of his talon, the commando’s band was back in his hand as he was forced back into his equine form.

“OH YOU MOTHERF*CKER!! GIVE ME THAT BAND BACK IMMEDIATELY!!”  

“Nope. Sorry. Not until I put in the proper patches for it,” Discord said. At that point, Gaige was already trying to have Deathtrap told Axton down in order to prevent him from pouncing onto the draconequus. But it was as they were trying to restrain him that something else happened. Axton’s body began to glow and change. The fur on his body becoming scales and his quadruped form now becoming something more bipedal.

And when the light simmered down, Lilith herself was even surprised by it. “Uh… Axton? How exactly did you turn into a dragon?”

“H-Hold on a sec-” He started only to burp and breath a bluish fire in response. For a few seconds he stood there wide-eyed, until slowly a wide grin was forming on his face. “F*CK YEAH, I CAN BREATH FIRE BITCHES!!” Then, he turned towards the Siren. “Also I have no idea.”

Lilith could only let out a sigh as she looked back to Discord. Who only was there for two seconds before disappearing out of the room as she let out a sigh. “Well brilliant… what’s going to happen next?”

“Oh MY GOD, DID DISCORD LEAVE ME A NEW PRESENT!?!!” The voice of Tiny Tina shouted out as she proceeded to leap onto Axton. “BEST ASSISTANT EVER!!!”

That… just had Gaige begin to laugh her ass off as she looked back at Axton. “Oh god yes, she thinks your her version of Spike!!”

Before he could even think of a response, he felt a weird sensation on his back that wasn’t Tina. As looked back he noticed that he also has wings. “Before that, how do I use these?” Pointing to said wings. 

“I have no idea bucko, but learning’s going to completely BUCKING AWESOME!!”

“F*CK YEAH IT IS!!”

All Lilith did now was just let out a groan. With all these recent events, she was beginning to realize that this was going to be a huge migraine just waiting to happen.

“I know what to do… Where do we find Rainbow Dash?” The Commando asked to those around.

“Somepony called my name?”

“Oh god no…”
> Chapter 16.5: Memo to the Guard
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the crack of dawn, the pegasus known as Flash Sentry was beginning to just wake up as he let out a yawn and used his wings to rub his eyes. He was just barely beginning to wake up from the longest sleep that he felt like he had in weeks, and for good reason. Ever since a few new faces showed up in Equestria, members of the royal guard have been working tirelessly around the clock whether it was trying to keep up with what was going on or having to clean up the collateral damage that was left behind. Especially after what happened in the Crystal Empire last week.

Of course though, as he was getting himself ready and preparing to head to the mess hall, the first thing that he noticed was that most of the ponies on duty today were standing by the bulletin board that was in the back of the room. As he looked at the wall, that was when he noticed one of the guards that was sitting at the tables and he spoke up. “Hey, Spearhead… any idea what’s going on over there?”

The earth pony, Spearhead, looked up from his bowl of oats as he looked back at Flash. “What, that? Apparently, it's a new message from the captain regarding the new ‘visitors’ that we have been having. They added some information to the bulletin board in regards to conduct and such… though, it might be better if you go take a look for yourself.”

Raising an eyebrow, all he did was just look back towards the bulletin board. Waiting for some of the ponies that were standing over there to sit back down before trotting over to take a look at what was there.

To his surprise, it was a written statement… alongside what looked to be a series of images and also a rather long list. And judging from what was on it, it seemed to be rather important.

Or so he thought.





To all Royal Guard personnel, I would like to address to you something that has been developing over the last couple of weeks. You might have noticed one or several of the figures that are on the pictures that are included with this document. Where they are from, they are known as vault hunters and they are currently here looking for something important. As strange as they appear, they are to be treated as guests here. 

Though, since it has come to my attention that if you are deployed at certain outposts where they are present, certain situations might happen that might be seen as unusual or outside of what normally happens on a day to day basis. Therefore, we’ve included several guidelines for you to follow so that you would know what to do if you find yourself in that scenario.

Best regards,

Captain Shining Armor


Things that the Royal Guard are not allowed to do around the Vault Hunters



1.	Each appearance for these visitors have two standard forms. Their bipedal appearances are their normal forms that they are used too while their equestrian appearances are what they’re still trying to understand. Please keep this in mind if you see them having trouble with things that we see as common nature.
a.	Under no circumstances are you to refer to them as ‘apes’. To them, that’s just flat out insulting and degrading.
b.	Also, keep in mind that they have weaponry that’s much more advanced than ours, so if you don’t want to be blown apart to pieces or burn to a crisp, pick your words carefully.

2.	Each Vault Hunter has special abilities that are far different from what we’re familiar with. Provoke at your own risk.
a.	This goes further more with the two vault hunter Sirens that are named Lilith and Maya.
i.	No, they are not the Sirens that equestrian culture is familiar with. For them, Sirens are female warriors that are defined by the blue tattoos that are on their left foreleg (or what they call an ‘arm’). There can be only six at any given time and none of them have powers in order to brainwash ponies to ‘do their bidding’ as far as they know. Please stop trying to tell the new recruits otherwise. 
ii.	Furthermore, if you so happen to be deployed at a location where a siren is present, do not try anything that would make them feel uncomfortable or annoyed, especially Lilith. She is known as the ‘Firehawk’ where she’s from for a reason and Colonel Smores is still in Ponyville Hospital undergoing burn treatment with the fur on his face and his mane all but gone after he tried ‘wooing’ her over.
iii.	The same rule applies to Maya, but I must stress that nopony should ever try to engage her in any form of physical combat training.
vi.	Even if you think that you can beat her.
v.	Especially if you think you can beat her.
vi.	Alright, let me spell it out for you idiots. You have no hope of winning in a fight against Maya. Her powers allow her to be able to ‘lock’ somepony in midair and then subsequently throw them as fast as a speeding wonderbolt. Let my encounter with her be a lesson for the rest of you.
b.	While it is true that the vault hunters named Roland and Axton both have backgrounds and experience when it comes to military tactics, this does not mean that they are seen as high ranking members of the Royal Guard.
i.	This rule applies further to Axton. Telling him that he’s ‘in charge’ of his own division of the Royal Guard would be just as bad as telling Prince Blueblood the concept of diplomatic immunity.
ii.	He is also not to be referred to by some of the titles that he gives himself, such as ‘overall badass’.
iii.	Nor is he allowed to tell others that he is ‘the great commandy one’. Mostly because there is no such thing and we are trying to be a military unit that serves the royal crown, not a crazed cult.
iv.	Yes I am!! You can't silence me!  
v.	No and furthermore Axton himself, along with the rest of the vault hunters, are NOT allowed to critique or change anything that’s on this list. He and the other vault hunters however can suggest things to be added, but they must be approved by myself and the princesses first.
c.	When it comes to Zer0, ‘his haiku style’ speech pattern is normal to him as well as everypony he considers as his companions. No, that doesn’t mean that you should challenge him to a poetry contest. Because such a thing is pretty much pointless.
d.	The vault hunter known as Brick is known for always going with the ‘hooves on’ approach for solving problems. So if his first instinct to solve something is punching it, you might want to back up first.
i.	Also, don’t call his dress shirt ‘tacky’ under any circumstances. It’s for your own good.
ii.	In addition, please don’t joke around and say that he is ‘dumb as a brick’. At that point, you’re just asking for trouble.
e.	For Mordecai, if his bird Talon is staring at you… you might want to run. He’s not fully trained yet and if it draws blood, then we’re going to be having problems.
i.	Nor should you try to befriend it. It only see’s Mordecai and Fluttershy as friendly. Anypony else is seen to him as just food.
f.	Yes, the one known as Gaige has a mechanical limb. Yes, she did it intentionally for a ‘science project’ that she was working on. No, you are not allowed to make jokes about it or call her arm a ‘horrific disfigurement’. She can still punch you with it and send you to the hospital.
i.	Nor should you go up to her robot Deathtrap and ask Gaige if it can give you a hoof-bump. It’s claws are meant for combat and can cause anything it comes into contact with to explode. Including you.
ii.	Deathtrap is a living robotic death machine, not a middle school science project. Don’t antagonize it.
iii.	Asking if Deathtrap is ‘combat ready’ and expecting for it to give you a response is just plain pointless.
iv.	Even though Gaige has said that you can ‘fix most things with duct tape and a lot of glue’, please don’t apply that same logic to any broken equipment.
g.	Under no circumstances should you make Salvador angry for any reason. Even if you want to see him ‘go bezerk’ in real time.
i.	Because more than likely, he might be doing that towards you.
h.	The vault Hunter known as Krieg is a rather special case that all royal guard personnel must approach with extreme caution. According to Maya, he’s considered to be a ‘reformed’ psycho that unleashes its anger and rage on those who try to harm those who can’t defend themselves. Given though that he is the most provokable of the group, do not try to do anything that could startle him.
i.	Please quit trying to find a way to translate what he’s saying. His form of speech isn’t Horse Code.
ii.	Also, stop trying to talk in ‘psycho-speak’ to try and get a better understanding of him. In all likelihood, that’ll just make things worse.
iii.	If anypony happens to hear some kind of ‘inner voice’ while interacting with Krieg, please report to the medical wing for a complete psychological evaluation.

3.	Outside of the vault hunters, there is one other individual with them that needs to be discussed since she is considered as a ‘special case’. The young alicorn that you see alongside the vault hunters in the picture provided is known as Tiny Tina. She may look cute, but don’t let her appearance fool you.
a.	I’m being serious here. Based on the accounts from the vault hunters, Tina can be best summarized as an alicorn version of the Element of Laughter with a crazy sense of imagination to the point where her saying randomly obscene things is considered normal amongst them. Why that is, I will never know.
b.	Despite her claims and her appearance of being an alicorn, Tina is NOT any of the following:
i.	Daughter of ‘Butt Stallion’ (What she calls the Element of Generosity, Rarity)
ii.	Princess of Explosions
iii.	Princess of Badassery
iv.	Princess of Blowupyourfaceheim (Not even a country)
v.	Lady of Blowupyourfaceheim
vi.	Royal Ambassador of Blowupyourfaceheim
vii.	The vault hunters personal trainer 
viii.	Professor Boom (Whatever that’s supposed to mean)
ix.	The goddamn Bunker Master!! (Again… what does that even mean!?)
x.	An bombmaker and explosive expert of the Crimson Raiders
1.	Sorry everypony. Turns out she IS an explosives expert. Word of advice from Roland… don’t make any sudden movements around her.
c.	The motion that Tiny Tina could ignore any rules that are in place (whether they be laws of Equestria or Lilith telling her something) because of her reason being ‘I’M ROYALTY, BITCHES!!’ is unanimously rejected. Please prevent her from doing anything that would cause a scene while still maintaining protocol.
d.	At no point should you leave Tiny Tina to do a task unsupervised, even if it's for a good reason. She will end up getting distracted.
e.	Do not say anything or eat anything that contains raisins in her presence. She sees their existence as a war crime.
i.	Trying to trick her into eating raisins by telling her that they are just ‘dehydrated grapes’ is not allowed under any circumstance.
f.	While it is encouraged to socialize with the vault hunters and Tina while they aren’t busy with anything, please leave that for when you are off duty. Especially after we found several of the new recruits with Gaige and Maya playing the game called Bunkers and Badasses and Fleur De Lis fainted after hearing your best Ork impression.
i.	 DA PONIES AND HUMIES DON’T TELL ME AND MY BOYZ WHAT TO DOO!! OUR WARBAND WILL RIDE INTO BATTLE WIFF OUR CHOPPAS AND SHOOTAS REDY!!! FER WE ARR REDY FER WAAAAGH!!!
ii.	Recruit Steadfast, while your vocal work and acting skills are impressive, I would like to have a word with you in my office.
g.	Lastly, the notion from Tina that the vault hunter named Krieg can be sated by warm cookies, milk, tickling his pecs and a bedtime story is right out.

4.	If there seems to be anything suspicious, out of the ordinary or look like something that isn’t from Equestria, please consult with one of the vault hunters first.
a.	If they don’t know what it is and it turns out that it’s something hostile… run.

5.	Their ECHO device is a tool that a vault hunter uses to manage their equipment, skills and keep in contact with some of their companions from their home world. It is not to be treated as a toy.
a.	Nor is it to be used to get dating advice from the one called ‘Mad Moxxi’. Gaige specifically asked that we stop having guards ask to use her ECHO for that purpose. (Trust me, even after hearing her once, I can tell the reason why you would want to ask her in the first place. You know who you are.)

6.	To all of those who are in the medic corps division of the guard, I want to stress that under no circumstances are you to take medical advice at face value from the one that the vault hunters know from their world as Dr. Zed. His methods at this point are seen as questionable and has been known to constantly mention the fact that he lost his own medical license.
a.	Anypony who uses any form of unproven treatments or methods that Dr. Zed tells you will lead to disciplinary action and having your own medical licenses revoked. We’re supposed to be trained professionals after all. Please act like it.

7.	Despite the numerous requests that we’ve obtained, any motion for the Royal Guard to equip you with ‘guns that shoot swords’ has been ultimately denied over concerns of safety.
a.	Sure, the idea of ‘shooting swords that explode into more swords, which also explode’ may sound cool, but in practice, it can potentially do more harm than good.
b.	You are NOT allowed to try to get one from Axton. Even if he says that he’ll get you a good deal. He’s a vault hunter, not an arms dealer.

8.	Speaking of arms dealers, all Royal Guard personnel are not allowed to buy anything from the arms dealer the vault hunters know named Marcus Kincaid or his machines. They wouldn’t even accept equestrian currency.
a.	Not only is his merchandise not specialized for Equestrian use, but his methods of reaching out to customers can be seen as morally nonexistent.
b.	Seriously, don’t even think about it. His ‘refund’ policy will just lead to you getting shot in the knee. 

9.	We’ve been getting reports of a metal robot still wandering around Canterlot like he’s a lost puppy who cries out in defeat at seeing staircases. If you find it, please report it to us so we can have the vault hunters take it off our hooves.

10.	Yes, we know that some of the vault hunters have weapons that are thrown once they run out of ammunition. No, that does not mean that they’re throwing it out of anger, using it as a boomerang or just want to get rid of it. If you try to retrieve it, whatever is thrown might just disappear or blow up.
a.	To be more specific, the weapons in question are the ones that have the name ‘Tediore’ on the side of it. The reason why they throw it is because the technology in the weapon allows for another to take form in their hands.
b.	No, we cannot apply the same mechanic to our weapons, including our crossbows. I know that it would be useful to our archers, but innovations and technology like this don’t grow on trees, dammit!

11.	If the vault hunters are talking to someone and the voice on the other end is so loud that it echoes through an entire building, it's not because the one they’re talking too is angry at them. More than likely, they’re talking to Mr. Torgue High-Five Flexington.
a.	Yes, you heard that right, that’s his actual name. And yes, ‘Mr. Torgue’ is his full first name.
i.	Look, I know it might seem strange and unorthodox to most of you, but bear in mind that one of the most important historical figures in Equestria is named Private Pansy. Given that, I don’t think we’re in any position to judge.
b.	When hearing Mr. Torgue speak, don’t think that any beeping noises are the results of technical malfunctions. It’s more than likely that he’s cursing.
i.	AND IF YOU ASK WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F**KING TIME, IT’S BECAUSE THE SHAREHOLDERS INSTALLED A DIGITAL CENSER IN IT. IT BLOCKS HALF MY GODDAMN VOCABULARY AND I’M STILL DOWNRIGHT F**KING PISSED ABOUT IT!!
ii.	In addition to the vault hunters, Mr. Torgue himself is not allowed to critique or change anything to this list either.
1.Nor can he add anything at the direction of the vault hunters. Including you, Axton.
c.	Don’t ask Mr. Torgue for any advice in regards to handling a situation that might be out of control. It’s more than likely that his only solution involves explosions.
i.	Or bigger explosions.
ii.	Or even MORE explosions.
iii.	Seriously, he has said that his favorite color is explosions. I think we can get the picture that his solutions would lead to the creation of another badlands.

12.	Unlike some of the other individuals that were mentioned earlier in this list, Dr. Patricia Tannis is one who is helping out the vault hunters with their search while in Equestria since she is the leading expert on the vaults (And unlike Dr. Zed, she actually has a doctorate). However, there are a few things that you must keep in mind if you find yourself in a situation involving her.
a.	According to Lilith, Tannis herself has what she calls a ‘weak sense of rationality’ as well as an extreme fear of common social interactions when it comes to face-to-face interactions. Additionally, specific requests that she had made in the past have shown that she has a bizarre sense of morality.
i.	Her social discomfort, along with suffering from multiple traumas and prolonged isolation, contribute to the hyperfixation of her research and special interests regarding the vaults. Please stop asking if there’s anything that she can do to have her ‘chill out’.
1.And whoever did ask her to ‘chill out’ the first time around, please report to my office at once. Apparently, Tannis doesn’t always understand sarcasm and it lead to her asking Moxxi if she could ‘rent her freezer for an hour to relax’.
b.No matter what Tannis says on the subject, hay bacon is NOT ‘incestous food porn’.
i.	Stop telling the new recruits that hay bacon is ‘incestous food porn’. Two of our new recruits are now too traumatized to eat the hay bacon that we have on the days we serve pancakes and waffles for breakfast at the mess hall.
c.	If Tannis ends up insulting your level of intelligence, then that is not intentional. It’s just how she functions (As I am told).
d.	Do not get into debates with her over how Princess Celestia raises the sun. Our scholars are still trying to dissect the three hundred page report that she somehow was able to deliver to us trying to disprove it to us.
i.	Side note, the Starswirl Research Wing will be temporarily closed until further notice.
e.	Do not question her intelligence under any circumstances.
i.	Doing so would be its own punishment… just trust me on this
f.	She has very strong opinions on particular subject matters outside of her research. Choose your words carefully.
g.	Under no circumstances are any of you to take her up on her ‘standing offer’. Just… don’t. We’re supposed to be professional here. How many times am I going to have to tell you guys while on duty?
i.	To whoever said ‘that’s rich coming from you’ while I was looking at the rough draft of this document over with the Princesses last Friday, please head to the royal chambers to be disciplined for your conduct.

13.	Under no circumstances is anypony to refer to Tartarus as the ‘friendship gulag’. Back from where they’re from, that name means something completely different.
a.	To further explain, Tartarus is where we hold some of the most dangerous creatures that have ever attempted to harm Equestria. The friendship gulag was run by a corporation called Hyperion that was bent on making the planet the vault hunters are from their paradise and proceeded to imprison and murder anypony that was seen as ‘bandit scum’. Does that seem so funny now?

14.	The phrase ‘anything the vault hunters can do, I can do better’ is not a valid excuse for violating protocol for any reason. Any attempts to prove otherwise will be punished accordingly.
a.	The phrase ‘Axton inspired me to do it’ does not count either.
b.	Nor does ‘Tannis requested data for an experiment’ count, considering the implications.

15.	Please don’t interact with alien artifacts on the pretense that you will gain superpowers from them if you did. Especially the alien mineral native to Pandora (the world of the vault hunters) called Eridium.
a.	Trying to disprove the statement above by using logic from the power ponies, ANY comic book franchise is not proof of anything. They’re fictional for a reason and you using them in that sense reflects poorly on the rest of the guard.
b.	Plus, Dr. Zed has mentioned that he had gotten a lot of patients that have tried consuming Eridium to gain ‘slag’ powers. Considering the fact that all of them are no longer breathing, that’s saying something.
i.	And the fact that the moral high ground in this statement is coming from a doctor that has no medical license shows that your reasoning is morally subterranean.

16.	The Royal Guard does not have protocols for any of the following scenarios that either have or have yet to happen:
a.	Loot Midget Mayhem
b.	Varkid Infestation
i.	Spiderant Infestation also qualifies here.
c.	Skag Heat Season (Just… what the buck!?!)
d.	ClapTrap ‘self produced’ dubstep songs.
e.	Goliath Cage Fight
f.	Psycho head ball tournament
i.	Additional note, keep Krieg away from anypony who’s playing volleyball or beach volleyball AT ALL COSTS!!
g.	Good Changelings
i.	Following the events of what happened in the Crystal Empire last week, we have one changeling that fits the above circumstance. Since he doesn’t plan on returning to the hive soon and wants to actually learn about friendship, we’re treating this as a special case until further notice.
ii.	His stay is further justified by the fact that Maya, Roland, Mordecai and Zer0 also trust him. And Maya said herself that if you had a problem with Thorax, take it up with her personally.
1.	Please refer to Rule 2a in its entirely.
h.	Skrakks (“Don’t even get me started.” -Gaige)
I.	Badass Saddlebags (Not a thing)
j.	Justifiable Timberwolf Homicide
k.	Tiny Tina, the Cutie Mark Crusader
i.	After several eyewitnesses in Ponyville seen Tiny Tina go on recent adventures with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, any activity where the four of them are part of something is to be treated as a Code Orange.
1.	Matter of fact, considering Tina’s unpredictable nature, always air on the side of caution when it comes to her. And if she comes by your door, have some chocolate chip cookies on hand just in case. Anything else might cause a Code Orange to become a Code Red.

17.	Dr. Tannis has requested that I inform everypony in the royal guard of the following statement, if you end up in a situation where you are tasked with helping her. (Unlike Rule 14b)
a.	If it involves something wrong, it isn’t right.
b.	If it involves something right, you did it wrong.

18.	If you find yourself in a situation where you’re a guest at one of Tiny Tina’s tea parties, just try to handle it the best you can.
a.	Princess Celestia herself had to sit it in one of them once. You can also do the same.
b.	The notion that you are to drag other recruits into one of Tiny Tina’s tea parties just because Tina tells them ‘You are cordially invited, BITCH!!’ has been rejected for the foreseeable future.

19.	To the recruits that are stationed wherever Zer0 is present, please stop trying to add sound effects whenever he’s practicing his swordsmanship. He finds the act disturbing and wishes for you to cease immediately.
a.	Nor should you do sound effects whenever Salvador is dual wielding his weapons. That’s only encourages him.

20.	Don’t use any ‘figures of speech’ around Brick. He’ll just end up taking what you say literally.
a.	No, not even if you have a justifiable reason for doing so. That only encourages him. (Please refer to rule 2d)

21.	The term ‘badass’ is a word that’s used by the vault hunters and their companions that describes them as tough, intimidating and uncompromising. Not as a way to greet each other in the morning. We are getting complaints from Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns after a student said ‘How are you badass?’ to the principal.
a.	Nor are we putting in a badass ranking system. The idea alone makes no sense.

22.	Being able to survive an encounter with Tiny Tina is not a rite of passage for new recruits. Stop treating it as such.

23.	None of you are to stand by as judges of any ‘killing contests’ between any of the vault hunters.
a.	Especially Axton and Brick. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in Manehattan
b.	Even more so for competitions between Lilith and Maya since those are even worse. Please don’t let that happen.
c.	Furthermore, all royal guard members are NOT allowed to bet on said killing contests. If caught, all your winnings will be confiscated go back into the royal treasury

24.	Never say anything in regards to somepony not being able to do anything in their presence. It’s more than likely that they will take that as a challenge.

25.	Finally, Tiny Tina is to not be allowed anywhere near a hospital’s maternity ward or a daycare center. She sent the ponyville hospital into a panic after shouting ‘BURN ALL THE BABIES!!’ in the royal canterlot voice on accident.


More to be added to the list over time, should the need arise.





As he finished reading, Flash just stared at the list. Dumbfounded by what he was seeing. In his mind, the only question that he was trying to process right now was how could this many people cause this much trouble in just a short amount of time?

Yet, it was the sound of another voice that soon had him turn away from the list that was on the board and towards somepony he did not expect to see today. “Ah, there’s the pony I was looking for.”

Right behind the pegasus was none other than Shining Armor himself. Something that startled Flash as he turned around. “You’re Flash Sentry right?”

“Y-yes,” The orange pegasus stuttered, before looking back as he asked the captain the first thing that came to his mind. “I-is something wrong?”

“No, nothings wrong. I was looking for you because you’ve been reassigned to another post,” Shining told him. “Get your bags ready and have them by the chariot. I’ll give you your proof of transfer papers once you’re-”

“C-captain,” Flash now interjected so that he could be able to ask the captain of the guard a question. “If I may ask, where exactly am I going?”

The pegasus watched as the unicorn’s eyes shifted. Looking towards what was on the board behind him before returning as he said only one thing. “Take a good guess.”
> Chapter 17: Not so secret anymore
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a few days since they had initially left for the Crystal Empire and for the vault hunters that were on the friendship express right now, they were glad to finally be back. Originally, they thought that they could be able to just easily go to the empire and come back. But there were a few delays in between that made such a possibility non-existent. The first was the transformation that Mordecai had gone through, turning him into a griffon instead of the original pegasus body that he had. There wasn’t a reason for them to try and be racing back if the hunter was going to trip every few moments while trying to adjust to the fact that he had claws and paws instead of hooves now.

The second was that the day after Mordecai transformed, a powerful blizzard raged through the empire. Freezing the train tracks over and making it impossible for the train to go anywhere unless the tracks had de-thawed first. In order for that to happen, the ice on the tracks needed to melt naturally. Magic or elemental guns couldn’t be used because there was concern that the overwhelming amount of heat could melt the tracks in its entirety. And the last thing that they would’ve wanted was a derailed train filled with passengers inside.

Eventually though, the ice on the tracks did melt off and they were able to head back. By that time though, they had already been in the empire for a few days and coming back to Ponyville was supposed to be a welcoming sight after being away for so long.

Unfortunately, the first thing that they saw upon coming back was Tina flying in the air… with Rainbow Dash and a dragon that strangely looked a lot like Axton as the train pulled into the station. Followed by hearing Tina shout as they stepped out. “Woohoo!! Badass of the skies, bitches!!!”

That just lead to everypony, including Twilight, Starlight and Spike, to just stare at what was going on in the sky for a full minute or so… before somepony actually decided to speak. That pony being Roland. “... What the hell did we miss?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure… and I’m not sure if I want to know,” Twilight then responded, before noticing somepony else not that far as they left the station. “Oh hey, there’s Gaige.”

At that, the unicorn Mechromancer that was Gaige turned around at the sound of Twilight’s voice, letting out a sigh of relief. “There you guys are. Bucking finally… Lilith was getting worried about you guys. What took you so long to get back?”

“Bad blizzard that froze over the tracks.” Spike simply explained.

“... Couldn’t you just-”

“We already asked, however, we couldn’t. There were concerns that we might melt the tracks if we used a fire weapon or magic to melt the ice, so we just had to wait it out.” Twilight then added on, just as Mordecai and Zer0 joined up with them. “So… could you help explain… well…” She then looked up to the sky, pointing at where Tina and Rainbow were right now. “This?”

“Well, believe it or not, the dragon up there is actually Axton,” The mechromancer first pointed out to them. “Discord came by and told us of the glitches that happened with Mordecai, so he took all the bands back. When he took Axton’s forcefully,” She paused, just before letting out a sigh. “He turned into a dragon.”

“Hunh…” Maya then thought to herself. “I guess that doesn’t sound too bad-”

“Tina sees him as her version of Spike.” That statement alone had the pupils on both the princess of friendship and the dragon immediately shrink.

Seeing this point in the conversation, that was when Roland himself tried to change the subject a bit. “I hope Lilith is taking this well, I really hope she is.”

That… didn’t quite get the kind of reaction that he wanted to see from the Mechromancer though as she looked off to the side and grit her teeth. “Could you define what you mean by ‘well’?”

“…… Oh no…”

“Come on now, it’s Lilith… it can’t exactly be that bad, right?” Mordecai now spoke up, just as the group began to walk back towards Twilight’s castle. The hunter was trying to think a bit optimistically, considering the fact that Lilith had done a lot of things that some people would see as ‘bad’ for a good reason. Such as being the firehawk in Frostburn Canyon.

Yet, what the Mechromancer had to tell them came nowhere close to what he was thinking about. “Oh I don’t know. Would you call ‘liquifying’ the fur and mane off of somepony’s head bad? One stallion is now in the hospital after they tried to hit on her earlier in the week. The same hospital where Tina accidentally used the royal canterlot voice and scared the crap out of everypony inside by screaming ‘burn all the babies’. And the worst part about it was that this happened nearby the hospital’s maternity ward.”

Nopony said anything. They just stared at Gaige with the same shocked expression. The expression you would have on your face if you witnessed someone kick a puppy in front of a little girl. All before Roland let out a breath and finally decided to speak. “I think it's time to stop this from getting worse.”

“Yeah, we might’ve needed that sometime ago.” Gaige then sighed, just as they all finally reached the door to the castle and trotted inside. As everypony was coming through the door, that was when the mechromancer made an announcement. “Hey Lilith! Guess who just got back?”

Not a few seconds later did Lilith teleport directly into the center of the castle as she looked back at all four of the vault hunters that just came back as well as Twilight, Starlight and Spike. Mostly though, her focus was on Vault Hunters. “What the hell took you guys so long? If it weren’t for the note that Spike burned yesterday saying that you guys were okay, I would think that you were dead.”

“Blizzard kept us locked in, froze the tracks, couldn’t really use our guns or magic because there was concerns where the tracks would melt and cause the train to derail faster than the one Jack sabotaged when first arriving in Pandora,” Maya now spoke up as the fellow siren noticed the vault key piece that was stuck to her now. “Mordecai’s a griffon, I threw a guard captain through a door, what else is there to talk about-?”

“Woah woah woah, you threw the captain of the guard through a door?” Gaige then spoke up. “Isn’t he like Twilight’s brother or something?”

“Yes…” Twilight herself now deadpanned. “Though, how did you know? You haven’t even met him-”

“We kind of wanted to know a bit more about Cadance and Rainbow told us about how she’s married to the captain of the guard. One thing led to another and now she’s trying to teach Tina how to fly without diving straight forward like a rocket.” The mechromancer shrugged. It was at that moment that Zer0 excused himself, saying that he had to ‘clear his mind’ for a moment as he went out the back of the castle.

“Well… we were going to ask ‘how was everypony’ while we were gone,” Starlight now let out a breath as she walked over to the cutie map and took a seat on the chair with Rarity’s cutie mark. “But I think Gaige already informed us about that.”

Lilith turned to the mechromancer, narrowing her eyes for a moment. “What did you tell them?”

“Just a basic rundown. Tina’s antics, you liquifying the fur and mane on a dude’s head, Axton turning into a dragon, Tina seeing Axton as her version of Spike and flying lessons for the two of them,” The mechromancer explained fully. “Why, did I miss anything?” That only caused the siren to shake her head from side to side, before looking past Twilight as everypony else began to get themselves settled in.

“Um, Twilight… I think somepony is here to see you,” she said, nodding her head in the direction of the castle entrance. While Maya, Roland and a few of the others began to finally get some rest after their long trip back from the north, Twilight herself turned around to see an oddly familiar pony at the door. It was a male pegasus with an orange fur coat with a dark blue mane and tail as well as a cutie mark with a shield that had a lightning bolt on the front. Behind him, he looked to be carrying a couple of bags with him as the alicorn trotted to the door and setting one of them down had the sound of metal plates hitting each other.

All of which, made somepony… or in this case, somebirdy a bit curious. “Hey Spike. Any idea who the new guy is?”

Spike, who had just started eating a ruby and was in the process of chewing it, swallowed what he had in his mouth before looking back at Mordecai, who was sitting with Maya and Roland at the Cutie Map with Starlight. “Him? I… think we’ve met before once. Can’t quite remember his name though.”

“Maybe he’s part of the royal guard?” The siren sitting at the table guessed. “It did sound like he had armor in one of his bags. What do you think Roland?”

Roland thought for a second before answering. “I think we saw him in the Crystal Empire while we were there, maybe as one of the guards or something like that.” He then put a hoof to his chin, while being weirded out for a second at the feeling of it. “Though we never did get his name.”  He then decided to go over and introduce himself.

“Hey there, might seem a little weird to ask this but did we meet in the Crystal Empire by any chance?”

“Uh… N-no,” The stallion shook his head. “I was in Canterlot up until today when the c-captain transferred me… I’m sorry, but who are you?”

“Ah my bad then, thought I saw you before.” Roland then cleared his throat. “Anyway my name is Roland, and you?” 

“F-flash Sentry,” The pegasus nervously replied back, before pulling out some papers and giving them to Princess Twilight. “These are my proof of transfer papers, Princess. I have my equipment here in case-”

Before he could finish, that was when they heard what sounded like a loud shout… and turned to realized that Tina was flying straight at them. “WOOHOO!!! INCOMING TACKLE!!” 

Twilight just stared with wide eyes, before using her magic to teleport most of the things that were at the front door further inside. Unfortunately though, Flash was not included in this given that just as she cast it, Tina’s downward tackle made impact with his chest and knocked him into the ground. Kicking up some of the documents that he was holding onto. “That was so BADASS!! I wanna do it again!!!”

“ROLAND, MOVE!!” Axton shouted as he came in for a landing, to which the soldier quickly got out of the way. However Axton’s momentum caused him to go skidding along the floor and ending up in the pile with Flash and Tina. He then got up with Tina sitting on his shoulder and both of them had their arms up in the air.

“THAT WAS AWESOME!!!”

“And this is why doing rapid descents is a bad idea,” Everypony now heard Rainbow Dash as she slowly touched down on the ground. “Oh hi, Twilight. When did you guys get back here?”

“Just now…” She let out a deep sigh. “We were catching up on what’s happening and trying to get things back to normal before Tina and Axton crashed through here. Lilith told us you were trying to teach them how to fly?”

“Yeah, that’s right. However, they seem to be more interested in how fast they can go rather than controlling that speed and learning when to slow down,” The pegasus told them, just as Flash was getting up from being steamrolled by the deadly combination of Tina and Axton. “So… new guy?”

“Yeah, that’s Flash,” Twilight then replied, nodding her head as Flash soon looked back at the two of them. “Just got transferred here from Canterlot by the Royal Guard. Flash, this is my friend Rainbow.”

“H-hello there.” Flash himself now replied, scratching the back of his head with a wing. “Sorry… things have been strange for me ever since I got here.”

“Give it time. You’ll try to get used to it,” Rainbow shrugged, before looking around as Twilight was picking up some of the papers and giving them back to him. “So, what’s with all the papers?”

“Oh, well, you know… transfer papers, list of equipment I brought with me, you know…”

“Important stuff?”

“Pretty much,” Yet, as Flash soon opened up the folder, he realized that there was one thing that was missing. Something that made his eyes widen upon realization. “Um… did any of you see a packet of papers that had a binding clip on the top-?”

Of course, as he said that, that’s when they heard Gaige start laughing… as well as Flash’s worst fears began to take form right in front of him. “Haha! Oh my god, guys! You’re not going to believe this!!”

“Gonna say this now, sorry for crashing into you.” Axton said as he walked past Flash, still with Tina on his shoulder. “So Gaige, what's got you laughing so much?” As he said that, Gaige showed him the front page of what she was reading?

“‘Things the Royal Guard are not allowed to do around the Vault Hunters’... I gotta see this now.” Axton said with a grin on his face.

“Wait, something like this exists? Since when?” Spike now asked.

“Since it was written by… Oh god, Twilight,” Gaige said, before looking to the alicorn. “Your brother wrote this! That’s just GOLD!!” All that did was make Flash wish that he was in any other place right now and not have to go through what was happening in this very moment.

“Oh this is gonna be good.” Axton said as he let out a small chuckle just thinking about what’s on it. “So let’s see where this begins.”

“Well, for one thing… a lot of these ones refer to you,” That comment had the chuckle that was on his face immediately disappear as Twilight and a few others began to back up and away from the commando. “Listen to this one… ‘While it is true that the vault hunters named Roland and Axton both have backgrounds and experience when it comes to military tactics, this does not mean that they are seen as high ranking members of the Royal Guard. This rule applies further to Axton. Telling him that he’s ‘in charge’ of his own division of the Royal Guard would be just as bad as telling Prince Blueblood the concept of diplomatic immunity’.”

“....Really, even I know that would be a bad idea having me lead, I mean sure I know what to do in tactics but I mostly just do my own thing.” Axton commented with a raised eyebrow.

Just from that alone, Twilight felt like she was going to be sick just from the sounds of that. For Rainbow though, “Yeah, I can see that. Blueblood’s a complete and arrogant jerk.”

“And this is only a subsection,” Gaige added. “The entire second rule on the list is that we all have our own abilities along with the caption ‘provoke at your own risk’.”

“Heh… I think Shining learned that the hard way,” Maya snickered.

“Well, at least we’re all still trying to give good impressions, right?” Mordecai then asked, just before she noticed Gaige point out something to Twilight.

“You want me to read one of them…? Okay then,” The princess let out a deep breath, before flipping through a couple of pages and then finding a section of the document that she wanted to read. “Here goes, number 14 ‘The phrase ‘anything the vault hunters can do, I can do better’ is not a valid excuse for violating protocol for any reason. Any attempts to prove otherwise will be punished accordingly’,” Her eyes moved further down the page and then after that, she found two more pieces. “‘The phrase ‘Axton inspired me to do it’ does not count either. Nor does ‘Tannis requested data for an experiment’ count, considering the implications’.”

“Yeah, I can probably see why they would put that in there.” Maya added. “Though, in all fairness, are they just doing comparisons to Axton throughout the whole thing?”

“Actually, no.”

“Well, that’s good-”

“There looks to be a couple on you and Lilith though,” Twilight’s follow up response led to both sirens exchanging glances with each other, before asking a new question.

“Should I even ask what they say?”

“Well…” The alicorn flipped back to the front of the document, before looking back to both of them. “There’s a section for both of you under the rule of ‘provoke at your own risk’. For Maya, it says that you should not get in a fight with her under any circumstances and for Lilith…” As Twilight read it, her pupils began to shrink. Almost as if she couldn’t not believe what she was reading.

“Uh… Twilight?”

“Give me that,” Rainbow now spoke, swiping the document away from Twilight as she began to read. “‘Furthermore, if you so happen to be deployed at a location where a siren is present, do not try anything that would make them feel uncomfortable or annoyed, especially Lilith. She is known as the ‘Firehawk’ where she’s from for a reason and Colonel Smores is still in Ponyville Hospital undergoing burn treatment with the fur on his face and his mane all but gone after he tried ‘wooing’ her over‘.”

Now it was Lilith’s pupils that began to shrink, mostly because she was realizing that the stallion she sent to the hospital was not just some random stallion, but a soldier in the royal guard. “Oh sh*t, he was in the guard!?”

“I mean… he did kinda deserve it.” Axton said. “I mean you were giving clear signs to him to back off.”

“I thought he was some guy who couldn’t take a hint, not an off duty guard officer! I mean, isn’t that considered assault?”

“Lilith, if I’m to be honest, we done far worse compared to that. I highly doubt this is gonna be a problem.”

“So yeah, all things considered, you will be fine.” Axton said to try and calm her down. “Anyway, what else is there about me?”

“Well, one says that Royal Guard personnel are not going to be equipped with ‘guns that shoot swords’ and that they are not allowed to come to you to get one.” Rainbow then told him. “It also mentions that your title is not ‘overall badass’ or ‘the great commandy one’. Not to mention a reminder saying that the royal guard is an army in service to the crown, not a crazed cult… and you were not exactly thrilled by that.”

“Should I-?”

“It looks like Axton had written something in protest, but that was crossed out and a note was written. Saying that none of the Vault Hunters are allowed to make any changes to this document or critique it,” Rainbow added, pointing out the section she was talking about to the vault hunters in question. Including Axton, who did not entirely look too fond of that.

“Ok first, for the gun I would only say that as a joke because that would only do more harm than good.”  Axton then let out a huff, while accidentally breathing a short burst of fire. “Also why the hell would I ever want to be called the ‘Great Commandy One’, I am nowhere near that self-centered.”  He was also ignoring some looks thrown his way. “And also why aren’t we allowed to make some changes or at least suggestions when they are making this list, well rules?”

At that Roland let out a sigh. “Axton, this is the Equestrians we are talking about. I don’t think we should give them suggestions in case if this gets way out of hand.” the Commando was about to respond, until Roland just gave him a look. 

“To be fair, the stuff on here for Tina is just as bad,” Gaige commented. “It even says here that the other guards are to stop telling the new recruits that surviving an encounter with Tina is not a rite of passage.”

“How is that even a rite of passage to begin with?”

“You mean you don’t see her overall nature as unpredictable?” Rainbow asked. “This is the same pony who decided that the best way to go into sugarcube corner is to crash through the roof.”

“Wait, that happened?” All that did was have Rainbow nod her head as Gaige looked back at the document. “Hunh… in that case, some of these other ones seem justified.”

“Like?” Lilith now asked.

“Number 3, section c. ‘The motion that Tiny Tina could ignore any rules that are in place (whether they be laws of Equestria or Lilith telling her something) because of her reason being ‘I’M ROYALTY, BITCHES!!’ is unanimously rejected. Please prevent her from doing anything that would cause a scene while still maintaining protocol’.”

“Oh COME ON!! Why am I the only one out!?” Tina herself now complained. “Sparklebutt, Sunbutt, Moonbutt and Lovabutt are just like me!! How am I different!?!”

Now all Gaige did was just stare at Tina, the same way that Roland stared at Axton earlier. “…… Do you really want for me to answer that?”

“Are there any others?” Maya now asked.

“Something here about a list of things that she isn’t, despite her claims… don’t leave her unsupervised… please leave socializing for off duty after something here regarding Fleur De Lis fainting after hearing a recruits best Ork impression?” Rainbow said, the last part coming off more like a question than anything else before turning her attention back to the list. “And lastly, the notion from Tina saying that Krieg can be sated with warm cookies, milk, tickling his pecs and a bedtime story is right out… Why would someone even think that would work in the first place?”

“You do realize this is Tina we’re talking about, right?”

“… Fair point.”

“Gotta say, they at least have some idea of what the guards shouldn’t do around us.” Axton said with a little laugh. “I mean, what next some of them want to judge a killing contest between us.”

That just had Gaige look back at Rainbow, before the two of them chuckled. “Actually, that’s number 23.”

That now had Mordecai speak up now as he noticed Brick come in from another side of the room. “You’re kidding right?”

“Nope,” The pegasus said, before handing it off for Gaige to read now. “Number 23, ‘None of you are to stand by as judges of any ‘killing contests’ between any of the vault hunters.’ Section A, ‘Especially Axton and Brick. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in Manehattan’. Section B, ‘Even more so for competitions between Lilith and Maya since those are even worse. Please don’t let that happen.’ And the last one, Section C, ‘Furthermore, all royal guard members are NOT allowed to bet on said killing contests. If caught, all your winnings will be confiscated go back into the royal treasury’.”

“WAIT, MANEHATTAN WAS A CONTEST?!?!?! WHO WON?” Brick announced shortly after hearing that.

“IT WAS?!!?” Axton also commented

All that did was have most ponies look at one another in confusion, with Flash just looking back at Twilight. “With all due respect, I think that last one was how they classified it. It probably might come off better than massacre or mass murder.”

“I think you might be right, all things considered.” The alicorn soon mentioned afterwards. “Anything else that stands out in that?”

“Well, there is a full two pages dedicated to Tannis,” Gaige commented. “I think that speaks for itself.”

“Yeah… they even had a note saying to not take up Tannis on her ‘standing offer’ since they’re trying to be professional.” Maya added.

“I really hope no one takes her up on it, I don’t think they would be able to handle themselves mentally afterward.” Axton said with a shudder at the implications of it. 

“Ok, I get that maybe that is better than calling it a massacre, but next time I need to know ahead of time if there is a contest going on.” Brick said as well.

“Mind if I read a couple?” Lilith now asked, just as Gaige used her magic to hand the document over to the siren so she could have a look. “Hmm… There’s a section here on Mr. Torgue… ‘Don’t ask Mr. Torgue for any advice in regards to handling a situation that might be out of control. It’s more than likely that his only solution involves explosions… or bigger explosions… or even MORE explosions. Seriously, he has said that his favorite color is explosions. I think we can get the picture that his solutions would lead to the creation of another badlands.”

“Yeah, that probably might not be good.” Rainbow said in agreement.

“The only other one that stands out is this one… ‘Under no circumstances is anypony to refer to Tartarus as the ‘friendship gulag’. Back from where they’re from, that name means something completely different’.”

That had the Mechromancer let out a deep sigh, before looking back at Lilith. “Oh yeah, I can definitely see a reason for that one.”

“I hope they are careful with that saying then, otherwise there might be a few ‘mishaps’ with them.” Axton said in a flat tone.

“Should I… even ask?” Starlight now spoke up as she leaned forward from her position at the cutie map.

“The Friendship Gulag was an actual place back on Pandora. A prison built by Hyperion to store and execute bandits and so called criminals. It’s a place where they can lock you up and murder you under the legitimate reason that you’re ‘bandit scum’.” Everyone turned around in the room to look directly at Mordecai, mostly because they did not expect to hear that from him of all people. “What? I had to help the vault hunters one time when they actually had to break into the damn place.”

“Damn, I didn’t think you would be the one to say that Mordecai. Which is what everyone is most likely thinking honestly.” Roland told the hunter.

“Hey, who better to say it than someone who knows a thing or two about it?” Mordecai said, before looking back at Lilith. “Mind if I take a crack at it?” With a nod, the siren handed over the papers to the hunter, who began to take a look at it before noticing a couple of things that stood out to him. “Hey, they mentioned a couple of things about Brick in here.”

“Really? What do they say about me? I hope it is something good about me.” Brick remarked, with a smile to himself.

“Let’s see… ‘Brick is known for always going with the ‘hooves on’ approach for solving problems. So if his first instinct to solve something is punching it, you might want to back up first’... ‘don’t call his dress shirt ‘tacky’ under any circumstances. It’s for your own good’... ‘In addition, please don’t joke around and say that he is ‘dumb as a brick’. At that point, you’re just asking for trouble’... and finally, ‘Don’t use any ‘figures of speech’ around Brick. He’ll just end up taking what you say literally’.”

“Ok, some very good points and some I agree with… but seriously, did they have to go for the dumb as a brick?” Brick commented, with a frown.

“My best guess is that they’re trying to warn them so that they can keep their men in one piece and not toasted like that Smores guy.” Mordecai chuckled, which lead to Lilith rolling her eyes.

“Fair enough, wouldn’t want any accidents with them around me would we?” Brick said with a chuckle as well.

“Ooh! Ooh!! Are there any more about me!? Are there, Mordy!?” Tina now asked as she had herself appear on Brick’s shoulders out of nowhere.

“Well, there is some… but it’s mostly to try and get the guard to not try anything… listen here,” Mordecai now began to read. “‘The notion that you are to drag other recruits into one of Tiny Tina’s tea parties just because Tina tells them ‘You are cordially invited, BITCH!!’ has been rejected for the foreseeable future’... Another section had ‘Tiny Tina, the Cutie Mark crusader’ crossed out on a list of codes that the guard don’t have for certain situations, followed by another explanation.”

“Which is?” Spike now asked out of curiosity.

“‘After several eyewitnesses in Ponyville seen Tiny Tina go on recent adventures with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, any activity where the four of them are part of something is to be treated as a Code Orange,’” The hunter now explained, shortly before reading the follow up piece. “‘Matter of fact, considering Tina’s unpredictable nature, always air on the side of caution when it comes to her. And if she comes by your door, have some chocolate chip cookies on hand just in case. Anything else might cause a Code Orange to become a Code Red.’”

“That… doesn’t sound so bad?” Spike said, trying to not sound like he didn’t know what he was talking about. That was… until Gaige said something else.

“It mentioned earlier how Tina saw the existence of raisins as a war crime-”

“RAISINS!?! WHERE!!? THOSE BLOODY ABOMINATIONS DO NOT DESERVE TO EXIST HERE!!! NOT IN THIS MAGICAL KINGDOM!!!”

That alone had the entire room go quiet… shortly before the purple dragon now decided to finish what he was saying. “I think that answered pretty much every other question I had.”

“Yeah, don’t even try to coax or trick her into eating them… it will not end well for you at all.” Roland said in assurance. “Especially cookies, just don’t.”  

“It also mentions not to trick her into eating them by saying they’re dehydrated grapes.”

“THEY ARE?!”

“Aw damn, I just made things worse…” Gaige groaned.

“Nice going there.” Axton just said while shaking his head.

“Screw you too.”

“Okay, so before this goes any further south than it already has, what else is on that list?”

Mordecai scanned through it one last time, before just simply shrugging. “Not really a lot that would come to mind, but perhaps we should redirect our attention to something else,” He said, pointing at Maya’s vault key piece with a talon. “We got three pieces of the key so far. Have any of you guys found out where the others could possibly be?”

“Well we know the locations of two of them at least.” Axton began as he then leaned against the wall. “One of them is in the Griffon Kingdom to the north and the other is in the Dragon Lands. So I think it will be obvious I will be going to the Dragon lands given my current appearance, while you will be going to the Griffin Kingdom.”  He then let out a sigh. “Also, considering the relations between ponies and Dragons are relatively new things are going to be a little weird at first. It just all depends who is going to come with me when we leave.” 

“Okay, but since you already have a piece, who are you taking that doesn’t have one?” Lilith then asked.

“Maybe-”

“MY TURN TO THE SLAUGHTER!!!” Every creature in the room froze at the sound of that voice as he entered the castle. Especially since would be considered as the first time that Flash met this particular vault hunter face to face.

“Well… I guess Krieg wants a turn then,” Maya let out a sigh. “I feel like I can’t exactly catch a break now.”

“W-what do you mean by that?” Starlight now asked as the psycho pony was getting in her personal space. Her fur standing up on end at the sound of Krieg’s deep breathing so close to her ears.

“It seems that whenever I’m around, he always seems to have a tendency to listen to me more than anybody else,” The siren soon explained. “Anytime he’s with another vault hunter aside from me, it always ends up with Krieg charging in and causing a bloody rampage with his buzz axe in hand. That and… well, he kind of saved my life once-”

“KILLING TIME IS FUN TIME, PRETTY LADY!!!” Krieg shouted, which in turn startled Starlight to the point that she fell off her seat and landed on the floor.

Flash himself, was bewildered by everything. But there was one thing that he couldn’t exactly make sense of inside his head. “Wait… this pony here… saved you once?”

“It kind of happened when we first ran into each other,” Maya let out a breath as she began to recall everything. “I was waiting for the train that would inevitably get sabotaged by Jack and while I was waiting, I encountered Krieg. At first, I thought he was just another hostile psycho considering that the first thing he was screaming was a bunch of nonsense… Of course, that was when I realized he was trying to tell me about a group of rats that tried to get the jump on me.”

“Rats?” Spike then asked. “Like the rodents?”

“No, these are different,” Gaige now interjected. “Of course, even though their behaviors similar, the rats we’re familiar with are different. They’re a specific kind of cannibalistic bandit that once lived in toxic mines and tunnels.”

“And unlike the usual bandits that inhabit the wastes, Rats usually lurk about in urban areas. Like the tunnels around a train station,” Maya picked the conversation back up after the Mechromancer. “Back to my first encounter with Krieg, a group of rats attempted to get the jump on me, but it wasn’t until Krieg threw his buzzaxe at one that I realized he was trying to warn me about them. Long story short, he helped me, I helped him. He hitched a ride on the same train I was on and I think most of you might understand everything after that.” 

“Okay, that makes sense,” Mordecai commented, shortly before bringing up something new. “But would it really be wise to have Krieg go. I mean… don’t get me wrong, we need the key piece, but wouldn’t Krieg just try to pick a fight with any-?”

“HERE THERE BE DRAGONS!!!” Krieg declared in a triumphant pose and holding Spike in one of his forelegs. Even though he was in his equine form, the stance that he took almost perfectly replicated that of an adventurer in bunkers and badasses.

Which, only lead to Twilight letting out a deep breath. “Okay, even I can’t quite seem to understand where that part came from.”

“You get used to it, Sparklebutt.” Tina proclaimed, jumping onto her back and hugging Twilight while she was still standing.

“That doesn’t make it any better!”

“Well I for one am not against it all things considered, he could use the time outside.” Axton smirked as he then turned to look at Maya. “So then Maya, want to come with me and Krieg or do you trust me to be alone with him and whoever else is coming?”

“I’ll come, but only so that I can be able to make sure you two don’t do anything stupid,” She told him. “Somepony else should come too though. Probably somepony who knows the leader of the dragons.”

“Um… I know her.” They all turned to see Spike trying his best to free himself from Krieg’s grip

“Really? How did you meet her?” Axton asked as he was trying to figure out how to help Spike without Krieg just simply throwing the dragon on the ground.

“Long while back, the last dragon lord named Torch called for all the dragons in Equestria to participate in an event called the gauntlet of fire after he decided to step down. After a bunch of numerous obstacles, I helped his daughter, Ember, become his successor,” Spike explained. “Since then, we’ve been trying to work out relations between dragon and ponykind, but the last time I saw her was a few months ago.”

“Well I guess it’s time to say hello again. See how she’s been and also find out where the key piece is.” 

Twilight let out a sigh as she looked back at the commando. “If only things were that simple.”

“Care to explain a bit on that now, Twilight?” Gaige asked.

“Well, the last two times you were out, there was a midget ‘killing contest’ and a god-liath on the loose and those varkid things… If you include what we saw at the gala when we first met Roland, I say that’s a recurring trend.”

“Well I mean…. Sh*t happens?” Axton said with a shrug and a weak smile. 

“That’s not an excuse.” Starlight now spoke up. 

“Fair enough, but I don’t know how to explain all of the things coming here to Equestria from Pandora. All we can do is just go with the ride and try not to die.” 

“We don’t know all the things that happened in Equestria and yet, we try to explain it,” Rainbow replied back. “Heck, before becoming Twilight’s student, Starlight was a supposed cult leader who almost tried breaking the timeline.”

That comment alone just had Starlight sink down in her chair. “Dash, I thought I told you that I wanted to move on from that. Why are you bringing it up now.”

“Well… to take a page from Axton, sh*t happens… right?” Dash shrugged her shoulders, just as Twilight face hooved herself and the mechromancer in the room looked back at the commando.

“Well, so much for being a role model.”

“Hey, I can’t help it if someone looks up to me, or says something I say.” Axton replied with a shrug. “I mean, I say some good stuff from time to time.”

“You refer to your turrets as your girlfriends.” Maya deadpanned.

“.... That has nothing to do with what’s happening right now.”  Axton quickly responded.

“And it makes your previous comment irrelevant.”

“Axton, just stop before you dig your grave even further alright?” Roland spoke in the Commando’s defense, to which he just let out a huff and nodded. Gaige himself just whispered something to Rainbow Dash, which got the pegasus giggling to herself for a moment. Yet, before he could say anything, that was when Maya decided to interject.

“So right now, we got Krieg, Axton, Spike and myself going to the Dragon Lands. You think we need anybody else?”

“I think that would be a good eno-”

“I HAVE A GREAT IDEA!!” Brick exclaimed, interrupting Roland. “How about its us four orginal Vault Hunters and Salvador go to this Griffin Kingdom whatever its called.” Brick then got a huge smile on his face. “You know, be like old times again… well with one extra of course. What do you guys think?”

Roland thought about it for a minute, before nodding his head.

“Honestly, that doesn’t sound so bad. Mordecai, Lilith what about you two?” He then asked the Hunter and Siren.

“I’m down for that. Just gotta get Talon from Fluttershy and I’ll be good.”

“I’m game for that.” Lilith added on.

“Sounds like a plan then, now we just need to let Salvador know and then we can get ready for whenever we leave.” 

“ROAD TRIP!!!” Krieg declared, throwing his forelegs into the air in a triumphant manner once again.

“Well I will take Spike here and tell Salvador, See ya.” Axton said as he flew by Krieg and quickly grabbed Spike and got out of the castle.

Once Axton was out of the Castle, Roland just looked at Gaige. “Ok what did you say about Axton, I’m kinda curious?”

“Oh I told Rainbow that it was more likely that his ex was digging his own grave instead of him right now.” The mechromancer snickered.

“I-I see.” Roland was trying his hardest not to let out a laugh, though it was clear he was failing. 

As the Vault Hunters walked out, preparing to get themselves ready for where they were off to next, Flash Sentry just stared. All he could honestly think of was one thing as he looked back to Twilight. “Um, princess…?”

“Yes, Flash?”

“How exactly am I support to report everything that just happened?”

All Twilight could really do was give the pegasus an honest shrug. “I’m not entirely sure. If anything, I’m trying to think of a letter to write to Princess Ember and the leader of the griffons to let them know that they’ll be having some guests coming… Celestia help them.”
> Chapter 18: MINE!!!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Twilight sat at her chair at the Cutie Map, only a few things were going through her head. Not all of those things being good. For one thing, just mere moments after coming back from the Crystal Empire, several of the Vault Hunters took it upon themselves to go to both Griffonstone and the Dragon Lands to get two more pieces of the Vault Key. Given what had happened in both Manehattan and the Crystal Empire, the princess was concerned that the same thing could possibly happen there. Especially since the Dragons have only recently become allies with Equestria and nothing was set in stone in regards to if Griffons and Ponykind were gonna become allies.

So when the Psycho named Krieg personally declared that he was ‘volunteering’ to go to the dragon lands and the Gunzerker named Salvador was gonna travel with Brick and the rest of the original vault hunters, all Twilight could picture in her mind was two political powderkegs that would be enough to rip apart any chance at a partnership between Ponykind and neighboring nations working.

Of course, not all of the vault hunters were out causing unknown mayhem. Two of them decided to stay behind. Zer0 was currently meditating outside of Fluttershy’s cottage and Gaige was right now sitting by the cutie map. Trying to look at her ECHO as she seemed to be getting the hand of a levitation spell. Aside from them though, Tina was also at the table as she helped herself to some tea.

As Twilight joined the two of them, the alicorn let out a sigh. Something the mechromancer picked up on as she looked towards the princess. “Something on your mind, Twilight?”

At first, she was tempted to say no. But the thought of Tina potentially trying to probe at her to spill out information made her think twice as she looked back at the mechromancer. “Well… I’m just a bit worried.”

“Worried about what, Sparklebutt?” Tina now asked, tilting her head to the side.

Part of Twilight really wanted to correct Tina just now, but instead, she just got straight to answering her question. “About the others… It’s a bit complex to explain.”

“So try to explain it then,” Gaige encouraged her. “Does it have to do with that Dragon Lord figure that Spike talked about?”

“That’s… part of it,” the alicorn acknowledged, “The relationship that Ponykind has with both the dragons and the griffons has been rather rocky. After the Gauntlet of Fire, things have begun to actually improve between dragons and ponies…”

“And you’re worried that with Krieg, Maya and Axton over there, they might accidentally screw that up and have you back at square one?” Gaige then interjected.

At first, Twilight tried to think of a better and more discreet way in order to respond, but failed to come up with anything as she let out a sigh. “To put it mildly, yes.”

“Pfft, I honestly think you’re worrying over nothing, girl,” Tina then chimed in, “If anything, Maya’s my girl that’ll keep things in check! She’s the Krieg Whisperer after all!”

The princess of friendship blinked, shaking her head for a moment as she looked back at the alicorn that was sitting across the table. “I’m sorry but… Krieg Whisperer?”

“It’s a nickname that Tina came up with a while back,” the mechromancer now decided to speak up, “It’s because Krieg is a lot calmer and more… tame when he’s around Maya then when he’s around anyone else and I can vouch for that. There are times that even he scares the sh*t out of me.”

Twilight didn’t even have any more questions in regards to Krieg after Gaige mentioned that, but there was still one other thing that was troubling for her. “Okay, but even then, Griffonstone is more concerning. They’re not always known for warm hospitality, any form of trade is inflated-”

“Sounds like Hyperion.”

“-and unlike with the dragons, it's unknown whether or not the griffons will become allies with us. Especially if things go wrong-”

“Twily, twily, twily, listen girl,” Tina interjected what Twilight was saying as she got up on the table and stared directly at her face. Shortly before she began to go into what sounded like a personal speech, “Lily and her crew have been through much more problematic situations than what you’re describing girl. If they try to pick a fight, they can just lift up a hoof and BAM!” At that moment, Tina slammed her teacup on the table as it shattered everywhere. Pieces of it flying towards Gaige and Twilight as the alicorn continued her proclamation. “They’ll show them why they’re known as badasses! They’ll get so soaked to the point that they’ll be begging to have a better relationship with Sunbutt.”

Gaige herself just let out a sigh at the sound of the alicorn’s attempt at a ‘seductive’ voice, shortly before asking Tina a question. “Have you been talking to Moxxi again?”

“Oh? Whatever do you mean, fair lady?” Tina asked in a tone that Mad Moxxi would call her ‘dressy voice’, before noticing the broken teacup she destroyed. “Why, I’ll be… Whoever caused this mess must clean this up immediately.”

Twilight and Gaige had only one response for that. “Uh… you did that?”

“Well, that just sounds absurd… I’ll go see if Flashy McSen-Frizzle is available for cleaning duty,” With that, Tina got up, jumping off the table and prancing off as she began to look around the castle. Leaving Twilight and Gaige just shocked before they looked back at one another.

“I think they’ll be in good hands,” Gaige replied back, before asking a new question. “So… on a much different subject… can you teach me teleportation? I’ve been trying to read up on it, but it seems difficult. So, could you give me the bluff notes?”





Out of all possible things, it seemed like Maya could not be able to catch herself a break. First, it was going to the Crystal Empire to find her piece of the key… only to be stranded up there for a few days, then she found herself having to come along because Krieg of all people ‘volunteered’ to go to the Dragon Lands to get the next piece. At first, it seemed like a reasonable idea. After all, it seemed like a simple ‘go in, grab what you need, get out’ kind of scenario like the plan was for the last two times the vault hunters went somewhere to get a key. Yet, there was no such thing as simple to a vault hunter.

To make matters worse, Spike’s explanation on dragon culture did not do anything to really help boost her confidence. A lot of it was based on the values of power, pride and greed. Which not only was stupid, but sickening… and when Spike helped Ember become the new Dragon Lord, one particular dragon named Garble wanted to become Dragon Lord just to subjegate ponykind. Let them be in fear or else face the wrath of a dragon.

“God dammit,” She thought to herself as they approached the cliff that overlooked the dragon lands. Thinking about Garble only lead to her thinking about when she was raised on Athenas… and how the only good memory she had of that place was putting a bullet in the skull of that lying dickhead, Brother Sophis for using her as a way to get whatever he wanted and subjugate the people of Athenas. 

Of course, even though she personally did not want to revisit that subject, that motion was thrown out the window a few seconds after arriving. “Hey Maya, you alright?”

The siren blinked, realizing that Spike was trying to get her attention as she turned to the dragon. “Y-yeah, I’m alright. Why did you ask?”

“You kind of seemed like you were spacing out after I told you about Garble,” the dragon told her in response, “Is something wrong?”

“No, no. I just… remembered something that I would prefer to forget,” Maya retorted as she looked around. Feeling the heat under hooves as she took a good look around. The mountains in the distance and the rising heat in the dragon lands made her think about a few places on Pandora upon arrival. The first was the Eridium Blight, considering that upon arriving from The Dust, there was a giant volcano that kept spewing ash and sulfur everywhere. The second was the Torgue Forge that was not far from the Badass Crater of Badassitude, since it was used as a scrapyard and metalworking facility.

Mainly though, it made her think of Heroes Pass and the Vault of the Warrior. Though, the one obvious difference was that there was no Hyperion assholes occupying the place and there was no ancient eridian warrior that planned to wipe every living being off the face of the planet. So, that seemed like a plus to her. Of course though, there was also some of the locations Tina had them visit in Bunkers and Badasses… but that couldn’t quite count. Because, well, they’re in Bunkers and Badasses.

After a couple of moments to get herself adjusted, Maya looked around a bit and then looked towards Spike. “All right, where do we go from here-?”

Of course, there was one rather major problem… one that, upon noticing, had her immediately turn to the commando that was nearby. “Where’s Krieg?”

“I thought you were watching him?” Axton said shortly afterward. “Oh, sh*t.” he followed with upon realizing the implications of what he was asked.

“Well, crap. We only just got here and now Krieg is possibly wandering off on his own!” The frustrated siren groaned, “Just great… now where could he possibly be?”

It was at that point that Maya felt a claw poke at her side for a moment as she turned around to see that Spike was trying to get her attention. “I might not exactly know as much about your friend like you two do… but I got one theory.”

“Wha-?”

“BATTER UP!! LET’S PLAY SOME PAIN BALL!!!”

Immediately, all three of them stopped what they were doing and turned in the direction of where they heard Krieg’s voice come from. Maya had Spike get on her back as she and Axton took off in that direction, fearing that he was getting in a confrontation with the dragons who called the dragon lands their home.

Instead though, they three of them found Krieg staring down a group of quadruped reptiles with long sharp tails that were throwing rocks at him. All the while the Psycho was swinging his buzzaxe to try and hit them like it was a sporting event. Which… seemed baffling.

“Okay, out of all the things I thought were going to happen, this was not one of them,” the siren admitted, “What are those things anyways?”

“I think Twilight called them Slingtails,” Spike replied back, “I remembered seeing some during the gauntlet of fire. They place boulders on their backs and hurl them at any who pass by with their tails. Firing them like a catapult.”

“Well, at least they aren’t like the Stalkers back on Pandora. I mean he is entertaining himself in a way that doesn’t result in him outright killing something immediately.”  Axton commented. “Besides, how many do you think he can hit before too many get tossed his way?”

That just had Maya look back at Axton with a raised eyebrow. “Is that really the most important question that comes to mind right now?” All Axton did was give off a shrug as Krieg continued to swing his axe at the incoming projectiles. Missing a few of the boulders that he swung at, but striking a few of them and sending them back towards the slingtails. One of the boulders even went as far as breaking a piece of a cliffside as it fell down in the distance.

“INSURANCE FRAUD!!”

“Um… how long do you think he’ll keep doing this for?” Spike now nervously asked as the three of them continued to watch.

“Probably until he gets distracted by something else,” the siren admitted.

Almost as if Maya had predicted it, Krieg soon turned his head up towards the sky as he began to holler again. “TO THE SKY!! IT’S A RAKK! IT’S A BUZZARD!! IT’S-” Before he could finish, one of the boulders from the slingtails blindsided him as it threw him backwards. Of course, Maya and Spike were more focused on what Krieg was pointing out to them as they turned around. Just in time to find a blue dragoness holding a crystalline scepter with a blood red stone land only feet away from where they were standing at.

“Ember!”

“I was wondering what all the commotion was about,” the dragoness spoke up, before looking back towards the group. “When I received a letter from your princess of friendship, saying that a few odd travelers would be coming here, I honestly did not expect this.”

“So you’re the dragon lord?” Maya now asked, a bit surprised as she looked back at Ember.

“That I am,” the dragoness responded. “Though, aside from Spike, who are you?”

“I’m Maya. This is Axton and over there is-”

Before she could finish, they heard the sound of rocks breaking apart as Krieg began to pound his buzz-axe, before charging at the cliff basin that the slingtails were at. “I WELCOME YOU TO THE ORGANIC SLAUGHTER MARKET!! FILLED WITH FRESHLY MURDERED CORPSES THAT I PLANTED IN THE DIRT!! TODAY, WE HAVE A SPECIAL DISCOUNT ON ROCKS AND SALT!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!”

That just had Maya let out a deep groan as she let out a sigh. “... And that’s Krieg,” she finished her original statement. “He means well, yet… he has a hard way of saying what he means.”

“Should I even-”

“NIPPLE SALAD ON SALE NOW!!”

“-I think I’ll just take your word for it,” the dragoness explained, before looking towards Axton. Seeing that he had been silent for sometime as he looked back at her. “What? Got something to say?”

“Nothing much, just admiring the view.” To which Maya promptly smacked him upside the head… and across his jaw. He then just glared at her while she just gave him a flat look and raised her hoof again, literally asking him to speak up. After rolling his eyes he then looked back towards Ember. “Anyway, we were just waiting for you or until Krieg got done with his… uh, entertainment I guess.” 

“Could you tell me more of what it is that you seek?” Ember then asked, “Your Princesses letter said you were looking for something, but did not specify as to what that something was.”

“Well to put it simply we are looking for something that looks like this.” Axton then showed her his piece of the vault key. “It’s a piece that belongs to a key, and one of those pieces are here in the dragon lands. Though we have something that helps us find it, having someone along who knows these lands well would make this go by a lot faster.” 

“Hmm… Would this piece also happen to cause any out of the ordinary?” Ember then asked. “Because a couple of dragons that I had out on patrol spotted something unusual when the were trying to harvest gems from the nearby caves.”

“What kind of unusual thing?”

“Well… to put it simply, some of them reported gemstones being attached to three legged rock creatures. Some the like of which we have not seen before.”

“Well that is unusual, and that would mean what we are looking for is nearby that area then. And those creatures are more than likely guarding it or something.” Axton then lets a sigh. “Those creatures are also called crystalisks, they use their crystals for ranged attacks like sending a lot of little crystals out or sending out a large one that embeds in the ground then explodes. However if you get close they can either use one of their legs to create a shockwave or creates a rapid series of shockwaves. I mean if you want to try, you can punch the crystals on their legs and that will take them down real quick.” 

“In other words, that sounds like something we gotta do,” Maya simplified. “Could you show us where you found them?”

“Yeah, it would help a lot and we can deal with your problem as well.”  Axton said as he then pulled out his tomahawk. 

Ember herself nodded, before turning around as she began to walk away. “Very well. Follow me.”

“Well… that’s definitely progress,” Maya thought to herself as the group followed the dragon lord with Krieg joining up with them a few moments later. “I wonder how Lilith and the others are doing in Griffonstone right now. Surely, it can’t be too hard, right?”





Of all the things Roland was expecting to do in Griffinstone, this has got to be the last thing he expected. Roland just sat at the bar looking at his drink as he hears fighting going on behind him. He takes a glance back to see Brick having the time of his life as he tosses two griffins off him and then goes back to pummel them again. He then quickly looks back at his drink and lifts it up as a brown and red colored griffin comes sliding across the counter and shortly afterward hearing Salvador laughing. He then looks to his left and sees Lilith bang her head softly onto the counter, trying to forget about what is going on right now. Mordecai however, is just watching this all with an amused look on his face by the entrance to the bar, staying outside as he watched. 

“Seems like this is nothing new to a pony like yourself.” The bartender says with a knowing look. 

“You have no idea.” Roland then tries to take his drink, only for it to get snatched out from under him. He just sighs. “One more, stronger this time please.” Placing a few bits on the counter. 

“Coming right up.”  The bartender says while chuckling to himself. 

“SWALLOW THIS, PENDEJOS!!” They heard Salvador shout as he punched a griffon so hard that he broke their jaw… and their beak.

Meanwhile, Lilith herself raised her head up from the table as she looked back to the soldier. “Remind me again how this happened, exactly?”

“Do you want it from when they insulted Salvador…” Roland paused as his drink was placed in front of him, to which he quickly downed it. “Or when Brick decided to add fuel to the fire?” Right after he said that he heard a massive crack, and when he turned around he saw it was Brick banging the heads of two griffins together.

“WHOS NEXT?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!” Brick shouted out in glee as he dropped the griffins he was holding.

Roland just looked back at Lilith. “So yeah, take your pick because the end result will be the same either way.” He then just lets out a heavy sigh.

“I would think Salvador first, then Brick,” the siren replied back, “Brick sometimes only jumps into the fray when he’s encouraged to do so.”

“BIENVENIDOS A LA FIESTA, AMIGOS!”

“WOOHOO!! THIS BRINGS BACK SO MANY BADASS MEMORIES!!!” Lilith now heard Mr. Torgue himself shout through her ECHO device. “GRAB A BEER AND KICK SOME REAR!!! BECAUSE IT’S A BEATDOWN BAR BRAWL!!”

“Of course, hearing that doesn’t quite help at all,” Lilith herself admitted as she went back to lying her head against the table.

“THIS FIGHT’S REMINDING ME OF MY DAD AGAIN!! ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!!!”





“Yeah, they’ll be just fine.”

“Just so we know ahead of time, do you know exactly how many of those things were in this cave?” Axton then asked Ember, just so he has an idea of how much of a pain this will be.

“Unfortunately, we were not able to get a number as to how many of those beasts are in there.”

“Once we are done there, you won’t have to worry about those things anymore.” 

“That would be fortunate-”

“WE’RE SMASHING ROCK CANDY NOW!?!” They all heard Krieg scream from out of nowhere, before running past the group like a bloodthirsty hooligan.

“Krieg, calm down… That’s not the right way.” Maya said, which made the Psycho stop before turning back around.

“LEAD THE WAY, PRETTY LADY.”

“Hunh…” Spike then spoke up, “Looks like Tina is right. You are the Krieg whisperer.”

“Who is this Tina you speak of?”

“Someone we know of back over in Ponyville,” Maya simply explained, as she switched out the pistol that she was using originally to the Jakobs Revolver known as ‘the Maggie’. “Now let's go. Those Crystalisks aren’t just going to get rid of themselves.”

“It’s gonna be a blast for sure.” Axton said as he pulled out his Swordsplosion and cocked it.

Ember just raised an eyebrow, while looking back towards Spike as she asked him a question. “Should I be concerned about how they’ll handle this?”

“Not really… though once we get there, we might want to back up first,” he advised the dragon lord, “It would be better to watch them from a distance.”

“That would be best, wouldn’t want you to be in the ‘splash zone’ one would say.” Axton’s comment did not exactly help Ember feel any better on the matter, especially with what exactly something like that would imply. “And the fact Krieg might accidently hit you with his buzzaxe.” 

“‘Might’ being the optimal word in that sentence,” Maya added.

“I’M GONNA SMASH THEM ALL INTO ROCK CANDY!!!”

“Well, enough time wasting and time to get hunting.”

Even though Axton’s words were rather optimistic, Maya felt a bit concerned. Not because of what they were up against, but because of the likelihood that a group of Crystalisks being left unchecked was not a good thing. Especially when they might just look like a crystal before rising up from the ground and then smashing you with a stomp of one of its legs.

Back on Pandora, it turned out that these creatures were… supposed to be peaceful. Yet, when a DAHL executive named Ms. Harcheck fatally shot the security officer that befriended one of them and was vouching for them to not mine the crystalisks, they became violent and the executive was murdered by the same crystalisk that was befriended.

Of course, that was on Pandora. In Equestria, the circumstances can be much different.

“Hey Maya, hurry up or you’re gonna get left behind!”Axton said as he started flying ahead and noticed Maya slow down.

“And of course I forget that Axton has wings now.” She said, before running to catch up with him. Part of her was tempted to phaselock Axton in place just to teach him a lesson, but perhaps that would be best saved for later. Because just as soon as they made it to the entryway, two crystalisk’s emerged from the ground as Maya readied her pistol. All the while Krieg charged in like a maniac.

“HERE COMES THE BAD TIMES!!”

The first move that Maya did before firing was Phaselock the first crystalisk, holding it in the air as it had all the crystals that were on its legs form together in one place. Making it easier to hit their weak points and take them down as Krieg smashed at it with his Buzz Axe. After the first crystalisk was down for the count, the phaselock itself moved in sub-sequence and seeked out its next target as it held another crystalisk up in the air. One that Axton was able to shoot at from his position in midair. 

As the bullets from his weapon shredded through the second crystalisk, both of them exploded shortly after, leaving behind nothing more than the crystals that were on its body as the entrance to the cave they were guarding was now clear. “Alright… let’s see how big of a mess we’re dealing with.”

“Well considering where we are and what we’re dealing with, I’m expecting a lot of them.” the Commando said as he reloaded his shotgun.

“You think?” Maya asked sarcastically. 

“No I was expecting only a few of them and then b-” Axton began, only to get smacked again. “You are just waiting for any excuse to hit me, aren’t you?” He said with a flat look.

“Sometimes, you just bring this on yourself,” the siren told him in response, “At least be thankful it’s me smacking you and not Gaige. Getting hit with her metal arm would hurt like a bitch.”

Axton just rolled his eyes. “Fair enough, and I unfortunately know what that feels like. I pissed her off once on accident, couldn’t feel my arm for about a week after she hit me.” 

At one moment, Maya smiled. But then she placed a hoof in front of Axton. Blocking him from proceeding. At first, he wondered why she would do that. But the answer came to him as he looked farther ahead. More of the crystal stubs in the ground rising up as Crystalisks. With a giant crimson one in the back that reminded her of the crystalisk named Blue.

“Okay… this is far worse than I was expecting,” the siren admitted, biting her bottom lip. A few crystalisks were something that she could easily handle… but this many? This was the equivalent of a bad varkid infestation, in the varkid were replaced with giant walking rock monsters instead. “So, what’s-”

“HAHAHAHAA!!! SMASH THEM ALL!! MORE SALT TO THE WOUND!! I WILL USE YOUR STONES AS CHALK TO WRITE MY ALIMONY CHECK!!! LET’S DO THIS! KRRRRRRRIIIIIEEEEEGGGG!!!!!!!”

“Oh god dammit, he just went in,” Maya cursed, seeing Krieg going on a rampage as his body began to morph and change. “After him!”

“I mean it’s Krieg, do you expect ANYTHING ELSE when enemies are around?!” Axton said as he got up into the air for better coverage… which was not as high as would’ve liked since the first thing that happened was hit his head against the cave ceiling. “Damn it, well i can’t exactly give some cover fire from the air, however…” He then noticed the ceiling was big enough for something else. “Hey, stand in front of this!” Which he deployed his two turrets on the cave ceiling with distance between so they wouldn’t overlap their shots.

“Good call. I’ll see if I can phaselock some for you!” Maya called out, lifting up her left foreleg at the first Crystalisk she saw. Providing targets for Axton’s turrets as they locked on to each crystalisk that was lifted into the air while the commando himself focused his fire on some of the crystalisks on the ground. Krieg though was taking a different approach, switching between smashing things with his buzz axe, throwing his buzz axe at the crystals on the crystalisks legs and when he morphed back to his normal self, began to fire off explosive rounds from a gun that Krieg kept on hand. The pearlescent Torgue shotgun known as ‘Carnage’.

They were making progress towards where the big one one in the back was, but something didn’t seem right.

“Uh, I don’t know if you feel this but I have a feeling that big one is a lot different than wha-” Axton then had to quickly duck as a beam suddenly came shooting from the crystals of the big one, which was named Garnet. “THE F*CK?!!? IT SHOOTS LASERS NOW?! THATS BULL-” once again he ducked and had to move around from the multiple beams that came his way. 

“Okay, just what the hell?!” Maya yelled.

“HACKS!!!”

The three of them quickly dove for cover in the area around the big one.

“Ok despite this being high grade BS, how can we distract it when all of its crystals ARE F*CKING LASER BEAMS?!!?” Axton called out to the others, hoping for a solution.

“Don’t look at me. The only kind of lasers we had to deal with were the ones on the constructor bots-!” Maya told him. “If the crystals are what’s projecting the lasers, then we need to try and-”

“RIP AND TEAR!! BREAK THEM ALL!!”

“... Yeah, what he said.” Maya summarized, getting an idea as she switched weapons. Putting the Maggie away and trading it out for something that had a bit more firepower. The Torgue pistol that was referred to as the ‘Pocket Rocket’. “Hope you got some heavy firepower. We’re going to need it.”

“Well I have one thats good for big targets at least, but I don’t really use it often.” Axton commented as he shifted through his inventory for a new shotgun, the Flakker. “But as it says, Flak the world.”

Maya smirked at that, before throwing a grenade as it warped over to where the crystalisk was and began to explode into a multitude of child grenades. Normally, she would keep on one of the grenade mods that she got from Bunkers and Badasses like Fire Storm or Magic Missile, but right now, the Bonus Package seemed like the best option since they needed to focus on making the crystals explode. Once the grenades went off, she began to fire off rounds from her Pocket Rocket.

In the distance, Ember and Spike could only sit and watch as the explosive mayhem that was in the cave. To the dragon lord, it was one thing to face an enemy head on against overwhelming odds… but this was much different. Not only were these three facing the beasts that were in here, they looked like they were enjoying it to a rather frightening degree. “Is… this normally how they face danger, Spike?”

“Ember, with everything that has been going on in Equestria right now, ‘normal’ would be putting it lightly,” the young dragon replied back, “Trust me, you haven’t seen the rest of their group yet.”

That had the dragon lord blink, “There’s more of them?”

“Yeah, three… well, more like seven if you count the original four, but that’s not important at the moment,” He began to clarify before explaining a bit “The other companions include a stallion that sees weapons as toys, a unicorn mare who willingly cut off her own foreleg for a science project-”

“She willingly dismembered herself?!” Ember’s eyes widened in horror.

“Yeah, but there’s a lot to unpack there with that one,” Spike sighed, “Besides, she has a metal foreleg to replace it.”

Part of the dragon lord seemed horrified, but another part of her was interested to learn more. Yet, now was not the right time or place to discuss those matters. “And what about the third one?”

“Well… he’s a stallion, but we kind of have no idea what he is. He wears a helmet to cover his face and he speaks in poetry-”

“That doesn’t sound like that of a warrior-”

“-and he also has a sword that, from what we’ve seen, can pretty much cut through anything. That and he can go invisible.”

“… Hunh. I only thought that creatures with magic could accomplish something like that.” Ember commented.

“If you happen to meet them one day when in Equestria, I’ll make sure to properly introduce them to you.”

Back with the vault hunters, all three of them focused their fire on the crystals that were on Garnet’s legs while trying to outmaneuver the incoming lasers.

“Hmm, well i’m going to do something stupid.” Axton said as he decided to fly around Garnet to throw off its aim and to try and destroy some of its crystals. 

“God, I really hope he knows what he’s doing. He’s only been practicing like that for a couple of days and now he acts like he’s a master at it,” the siren thought to herself, before throwing two more Bonus Package grenades at the crystalisk to try and shatter the crystals on one of its legs. Of course, when looking back at Krieg…

“Oh my god, Krieg, what the hell are you doing!?”

“I AM MELEEING ITS LEGS!!!”

“Is he insane?! That’s only just going to piss it off even more-” Yet, Maya did not have the time to actually say anything else because with one more strike, the crystals on one of its legs shattered. Leaving only two more remaining as the Crystalisk staggered for a brief moment, “Okay, nevermind, looks like we’re actually getting somewhere. Axton, target the legs!”

“Hey whatever works, I’ll take it!” He then followed the siren’s directions and blasted away at the legs, while also dodging some lasers. Maya took it upon herself to focus on the leg that Axton was not occupied with, still using her Pocket Rocket to try and break the giant crystal down to size.

As time worn on the three of them were able to whittle down its crystals enough that it’s remaining ones finally broke and Garnet finally went down.

“Finally that thing went down-” However the moment Axton said that is when the body starting cracking and split into two more crystalisk spawned from its body, though smaller than the one they just finished fighting but still bigger than a normal one. One of them had red crystals while the other had blue crystals. “God Dammit.” 

“You just had to say that, did you?”

“How was I supposed to know the thing did that anyway? Ok I think the red one has fire, cause it reminds me of the magma crystalisk, but the other one I don’t know what it could…” right before he could continue, the Commando got hit by the blue one and fell to the ground hard. “SH*T, THATS F*CKING COLD!!” 

“ICY HOT!!”

“N-N-NO SH*T!” Axton commented as he was slow to get up and get in cover as more cryo lasers was shot towards him and drained his shields. 

“Oh what the hell…” Maya just groaned, before switching to the Hellfire. First, shooting Axton (for him to stop being a wuss and to thaw any part of him that felt cold), before focusing her fire on the one her ECHO labeled as Sapphire. As for the other, which was named Ruby, she channeled her phase lock to suspend it in the air so she could focus on killing Sapphire first.

“Thanks for that.” Axton just shrugged off the pain and got back into the fight, swapping back to the Swordsplosion and helping Maya take down Sapphire. Krieg himself joined in, firing more rounds from his Carnage shotgun and even throwing the Buzzaxe at the Crystalisk for added measure.

“WHY. DO. THEY. HAVE. TO. BE. SO. BULKY!?” Axton shouted in between each shotgun round that was fired. Once he saw that the crystals were about to be destroyed on Sapphire, he quickly swapped over to see Ruby just drop out of the phaselock and started shooting at that one in turn. The shots causing the crystals to chip away and wear down. “I’ll focus on this one, you guys finish up on-” He then heard the crystals shatter and the death sound of a crystalisk. “Nevermind, we focus on this one anyway.” 

It wasn’t until a few moments after he said those words that the last crystalisk finally exploded. Leaving nothing behind but a collection of crystals and rocks. Though, it was within the pile that something was glowing. And Krieg wasted no time diving in to grab what was there.

“DIBS!!”

“Well, four down I guess,” Maya said when she realized that what Krieg was holding onto was the vault key piece that they needed.

“Heh, no kidding.” Axton said as he landed next to Maya. “Here’s hoping The others have a bit of an easier… now that I think about I hope Roland and Lilith are going to be ok when they get back considering some of the shenanigans Brick and Salvador might get into.” 

“You and me both.” The siren replied back as they went back to where Ember and Spike were waiting for them.
> Chapter 19: Slab Gardening 101
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Earlier that day…

“Finally, it looks like we made it.” Lilith let out a sigh of relief as they arrived at the town of Griffonstone. After sitting around for what felt like hours, the siren arrived with Roland, Mordecai, and Brick as they began to take in the sights. Salvador was also with them too as he began to take in the sights of everything around them… or lack thereof for a better term.

If a picture were to paint a thousand words, then the best way to summarize what Griffonstone looked like to them was ‘if Overlook was in Equestria’. The whole town looked like it was a complete dump and many of the griffons that were walking the streets weren’t entirely so warm and welcoming like you would expect from the townsfolk in Ponyville.

“Well, this place looks downright upsetting,” Lilith sighed, “Who was it that we were looking for again?”

“I think Rainbow told me that it was a griffon named Gilda or something like that,” Mordecai replied, “Though, I highly doubt we’re going to be expecting some kind of welcoming committee that can help us.”

“Well, maybe there’s some place that we could ask around,” the siren suggested, before noticing something out of the corner of her eye. “I think there’s a bar over there. Maybe we can see if some of the patrons can give us some information-”

Of course, much to their surprise, Salvador was already making his way over there. Over the course of the train ride, he didn’t have the chance to get anything to drink and his throat felt like sandpaper. If he wanted to stay focused, then he needed something to quench his thirst right now. Either that or end up like one of the townsfolk in Oasis.

“Well, I guess Salvador has the same idea… I think?” Roland asked as he started to follow behind Salvador. As they were walking towards the bar some of the griffons nearby were eyeing them, seeing what they were doing.

“I guess they don’t very many visitors.” Roland commented as he saw the looks they were getting. 

“Hey as long as they don’t start anything, it’s all fine to me.” Brick commented with a cocky smirk.

“I’ll just stay outside,” Mordecai said, before he left out the door. It looked like Salvador himself was doing just fine. But, he could still hear what the other griffons were saying within earshot.

Needless to say, he was not too happy about it. “The beak is up with that guy? I mean, is he even supposed to be a pony?”

“He looks like if an ape slept with his mother. Maybe his grandmother even-”

As Salvador finished his drink, he also subsequently shattered the glass that he was drinking as he glared at both the griffons that were talking. “WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT MI ABUELA, PENDEJO!?!”

“What the-!?” The griffon did not have enough time to react as Salvador’s hooves smacked the griffon in the face. Breaking his jaw and sending him flying through a window.

“You’re going to pay for that, freak!!” His accomplice snapped, swiping at Salvador with claws. Much to his surprise, Salvador blocked it with a hoof. Before headbutting the griffon and throwing him outside too.

“WHO’S NEXT, PENDEJOS!?!”

“Get that guy!!”

“Well, guess that did not last long-” Lilith was going to continue talking as the rest of the bar turned into a complete free for all, but stopped when she saw of the griffons grab a chair and smashed it across Brick’s head. “Oh no.”

Brick just straightened out after the hit and rolled his shoulders. “You know, a friend of mine told me I should get a hobby. Told me of something that might help me pass the time,” Brick then turned around and grabbed the griffon that hit him by the shoulders. “And you happen to the perfect example. So guess what? IMMA PLANT ME A DUMBASS TREE!!!” He then lifted the griffon up and planted him head first into the ground until only the griffons paws and tail was visible from the floor. “WHO’S NEXT?!?!” 

“I am just gonna go over here.” Roland simply said as he walked over to the counter, not even trying to stop Brick as he pummeled his way into the fray. “Gimme a strong one.” Placing a few bits on the countertop.

“Coming right up.” the bartender said with a little hesitance.

Meanwhile, as he watched the chaos that unfolded from outside, Mordecai was honestly glad that he decided to not be in there. The hunter knew that it was definitely a bad idea to have a pissed off gunzerker and an equally pissed off Berserker in the same place. Especially in a bar full of drunks and with a guy shouting through their ECHO device like he was giving play by play commentary. He was hoping that literally anything could distract him from what was going on right now.

Luckily, he soon got what he asked for. “Hey you,” He looked up, only to turn and see a griffon who had white feathers around her head while the fur and feathers on the rest of her body were brown, “Would you happen to be with the knuckleheads that happened to start that mess?”

That had Mordecai tense up a bit, narrowing his gaze at the griffon as Talon did the same, keeping a pistol at the ready and hidden from view. “Who’s asking?”

“Woah, easy there. No need to be hostile,” the griffon went up on her back legs, holding her claws up in the air, “A friend of mine told me that a group of you would be here in Griffonstone that needed some help. Mostly ponies and one griffon-”

“VAMOS, IDIOTAS!!!”

That was followed by what sounded like an explosion, followed by Mordecai smacking his forehead with his claw. “Aye yae yae…”






Back inside, the bartender could only look in both amusement and confusion as he witnessed his bar get destroyed because of two ponies utterly defeating any griffons who attempted to even attack them.

“So, I take it stuff like this happens somewhat often?” directing the question towards the Soldier, while also passing him his third drink.

“Somewhat, but the one whos bigger only does that if someone instigates it.” Roland said as he takes a sip. “I apologize for what my friends have done.”

The bartender just shrugs. “Not the first time my bar has been through something like this… just not to this degree anyway.”

“At least Brick didn’t bri-” Roland began only to suddenly turn towards the front of the building as he sees a griffon go flying by and shattering the glass that is by Mordecai.

“AND HE’S OUTTA HERE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Brick said as he puts his fist hammer over his shoulder. 

Roland just lets a very heavy sigh at that. “Of course he has it on him.” After he said that Mordecai peeks his head in to see what just happened.

“Alright, just what the hell happened that started all of this?”

“Well one of the griffons insulted Salvador’s grandmother,” Roland began as he turned around to face Mordecai. “and after that one decided it was a good idea to smack Brick with a chair and, well…” He trailed off as he pointed to the griffon stuck in the ground. “That happened. Then it all just spiraled out of control from there.”

Mordecai took a moment to look around the room, before looking to the griffon that was planted in the ground. “Heh. Dumbass.”

As he said that, Lilith herself got up from her seat and turned to the bartender. “Put my drink on his tab,” She said, pointing to Roland with a hoof before noticing the griffon behind Mordecai. “So, you made a new friend?”

“In a sense,” Mordecai told her, before stepping out of the way so Gilda could see her, “Let’s just say that what was going on in the bar attracted her attention. Lilith, this is Gilda. Gilda, this is Lilith.”

“So you’re Rainbow’s friend hunh? Nice to meet you,” Lilith replied back.

“Same… Though, for the record, I’ve only been patching things up with Rainbow most recently,” The griffon clarified, “So, I was informed that your group was looking for something?”

“Yeah, it’s a piece of something though.” Roland said as he came back from paying for the drinks, and some of the damages that were done to the bar. “We need to find it, and according to previous experiences some weird stuff will happen near it.” Roland then sighs before looking back into the bar. “So should we give them a few more minutes or try and stop them now?”

“We could leave Mordy here and let them catch up afterwards,” Lilith suggested.

“Works for me, Mordecai you ok with that?” Roland said to the Hunter.

“Sure, I guess. Someone’s going to have to make sure they don’t do anything stupid… aside from what they already did.”

“Take it easy, and not get injured either.” Roland said to Mordecai before turning to Gilda. “So you are Gilda then, what strange thing has been happening around here then?”

“Define strange,” She told them, “Nothing aside from the locals being complete self obsessed jerks is really considered as ‘normal’ around here.”

“Huh, the last few times we needed to go somewhere, some enemies from were we are from showed up here.” Roland started. “Prime example being Varkids, and from what I heard loader bots as well.”

“I… don’t have any clue on what you’re talking about, but there is one place that could be something to look into,” The griffon told them, “One of the mining sites that the griffons was used to process minerals that we trade with Equestria and other countries was shut down recently when some of the workers got hurt. I didn’t hear much, but when Grandpa Gruff was talking with one of the workers that was there, he said that they were attacked by some… invisible monster or something.”

That had Lilith stop for a moment. There was only one thing that she could think of that met that description… and when she realized what it entailed, she was not entirely enthusiastic about it. “Oh great. Please don’t tell me that you’re referring to what I think you’re referring too.”

“You know something about them?” Gilda asked, sounding a bit surprised.

“It’s highly likely,” The siren replied, “Back where we are from, we call them Stalkers. They’re reptilian like creatures that can cloak themselves and be invisible before they attack prey,” With that, she then turned to Roland and asked one question. “You got a shock weapon? We’re going to need it.”

“I think I have one on hand, but this is going to be not fun at all,” Roland muttered as he looked through his inventory before finding one. “For now at least it’s just stalkers, but I dread if there are more over there.”

“Let’s see what we’re dealing with first before we make any predictions like that.” Lilith told him in response. “If it’s really bad, then we’ll need Mordecai and the others for backup.”

“It’s just that from our experiences is that i can’t help but prepare for the worst when we go on missions like this is all. Besides I know Mordecai and them will help anyway… I mean hell if it came down to it I think just Brick and Salvador could handle it themselves.” Roland followed up with.

“You mean if they weren’t already busy?”

“You have a point there.” Roland admitted, as they hear the sound of another glass window breaking.

“If anything, they can just pinpoint our location with their ECHO device and catch up with us that way,” Lilith told him, before going on ahead, “Now let’s go see how bad the stalker problem is.”

“Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it is on Pandora.” He said following Lilith.

“Are you trying to jinx us?” She asked him.

“If it was as bad as Pandora, we would be seeing a lot less Griffons.” Roland sighed. “Sorry, just still getting used to, you know, being back and all that. Also doesn’t help with this new body.”

“Yeah, don’t mind him,” the siren told Gilda, “We’ll help solve your problem. Now, could you show us where it is?”

“It’s in the quarry not that far from here,” the griffon replied, going ahead and taking the lead to show them where its at. All while the Soldier and the Siren began to get ready for a fight.





“Come on, are you two done in there already?” Mordecai now asked Brick and Salvador as both of them looked to have finally been finishing up with their business in the bar, “This place looks less like a bar and more like a dumbass forest with the amount of ‘trees’ you’ve been planting.”

“Not yet.” Brick said as he picked up another griffin and started making them hit themselves. “They started this and I am making sure I end it, right Slab?” He said directing the question to Salvador.

“Toda la razón!” Salvador shouted, which Mordecai knew as ‘Damn right!’ and gave him even more of a reason to sigh.

“Well we better hurry up. Lilith and Roland found who we were looking for and went off on their own. I’m listening to their ECHO and it appears we got a stalker problem out in the nearby quarry.”

“Huh, can they handle it a little long-”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I think you should listen to your friend.” The barkeep said as he walked forward with a flat look on his face. “While I normally don’t interfere in fights that go on in my bar, I don’t take very well to it being… as your friend stated… ‘a dumbass forest’. Now one of the ponies who left earlier paid for some of the damages that the two of you caused and unless you want to pay for any MORE damage, I think this is a point to stop.” The barkeep sighs heavily. “Besides the ones that are planted will be paying for the rest of the damages since they did initiate this little brawl.” He then goes to the counter and grabs a bottle and hands it to Salvador. “It may not be the strongest I have here but take it, it’s on the house.” 

“Gracias, amigo!”

The barkeep then goes back behind the counter and waits for the other patrons to wake up. “Don’t worry about cleaning up, I will make them clean up their mess.” Motioning over to the ‘Forest’.

“Heh, thanks for that. Well I guess we shouldn’t keep Roland waiting then.” Brick said to Mordecai.

“Oh before you go any further.” The barkeep spoke up before they left. “From what I heard from the rest of these idiots before you came in was there some strange flying creatures as well near the quarry. Said they looked like some sort of huge bat like creature, you might want to be careful of them and whatever those stalkers are.”

“So a Rakk and Stalker problem. Got it.”

“Thanks for the tip, but that’s nothing new for us from where we are from.” Brick said as he exited the bar. “I think Roland and Lilith can handle themselves till we get there right Mordecai?”

“Hopefully,” he replied, “If this were just a Rakk problem, then that would be easy. But since we’re dealing with Stalkers and you can’t really see the bastards unless you shock them first, then it’s going to be a lot more difficult. Either way, we should hurry.”

“I think they can at least hold off until we get there. I mean, it’s Lilith and Roland. They know how to hold down an area.” Brick commented.

“You do realize that there’s someone else with them, right amigo?” Salvador asked, turning to Mordecai as he just nodded his head. “Ah well, guess there’s only one way to solve this.”

“Well that changes things then. Let’s get a move on and hopefully they left some fun for us.” Brick said as he chuckled.

“Knowing what we might be up against, we’re going to have plenty of fun once we catch up,” Mordecai told him.





“Here we are,” Gilda told both the soldier and the siren as they approached the abandoned quarry. Mining tools and equipment were just left on the ground and all over the place and stains of blood were already dried up on the soil. Giant holes were seen along the walls, but nothing else was noticeable or out of the ordinary, aside from the ‘KEEP OUT’ sign that was planted not far from the entrance. “This was where the attacks happened.”

“Definitely seems like a place that a stalker attack would happen at,” Lilith commented as she looked around the area.

“That’s for sure, and honestly I expected at least some drag marks or burn marks if there were the badass variants.” Roland said as well, surveying the area. Before he could go further he heard a voice coming from Lilith’s ECHO.

“Hey Lilith, you there? Got some news for you,” They heard Brick speak to them through Lilith’s ECHO device. “Just a heads up, but it seems there is some Rakks as well at the quarry. So be on the lookout until we get there.”

“Well sh-” Roland began as he then heard the all too familiar sound of a Rakk.

“Better hurry then, Brick. Show’s about to start,” Lilith said, before pulling out a Maliwan shock SMG, “When those Rakks start coming at us, the Stalkers are bound to show up soon after.”

“No kidding, lets at least thin the herd before this really kicks off then.” Roland said as he pulled out a DAHL shock assault rifle. 

Lilith smirked, before turning to Gilda, “You might want to find some cover. It would be better if you didn’t get caught in the crossfire.”

“Also don’t mind the noise, because it’s going to get real loud.” Roland chuckled as he deployed his turret, which started firing upon the rakks shortly after deploying. All Gilda did in that moment was just nod, before flying over to where she was hiding behind a boulder near the opening of the quarry. Turning her head as Lilith herself was paying attention to the ground in front of them. Making sure that nothing got the jump on Roland or his Scorpio turret as he was shooting at the Rakk in the sky. 

“How’s it looking like by you, Lilith? Any Stalkers yet?” Roland asked as he had his focus entirely on the sky, occasionally dodging Rakks or their bodies as they come flying by. As some Rakks fell down, Lilith noticed some shifting movement in the ground as she grit her teeth.

“Yeah, we definitely got company. Gimme a second,” she said, before disappearing right in front of Gilda. Startling the griffon in the process.

“H-How did-?” She said, just before Lilith re-emerged and set off a phase strike that stripped a stalker of its shield.

“Long story, lots of internal bleeding, we’ll explain later,” Lilith interjected, before firing her smg and killing the stalker, “Any word from the others yet, Roland?”

“Hey Brick, how is it coming along with you?” Roland said as he was able to get some time in between killing the Rakks to check in with Brick.

“We can hear the gunfire now, we are getting closer to you.” Brick commented.

“They are on their way now,” Roland told Lilith as he then got back to shooting Rakks.

“Perfect. It’ll be much safer knowing we got someone watching our backs,” the siren replied, taking a second to reload her weapon and look back around the area as she was on the lookout for more stalkers. “Still not seeing any signs of the key fragment though.”

“Yeah, who knows where it could be.” Roland said as the Rakks were now ignoring them for now. “Well we have some respite for now, but not for long I imagine.” 

“Hey everyone, we late to the party? I don’t hear any gunfire anymore.” Brick said as he walked over with Salvador and Mordecai. As Lilith turned around, a stalker began to make its approach towards her, but was quickly shot down by Mordecai.

“If anything, I think this party’s just getting started,” Mordecai smirked, priming his rifle again as Salvador armed himself with two unkempt harolds.

“Let’s go, amigos!”

“AW HELL YEAH!!” Brick shouted as began pummeling Stalkers left and right.

“Well I understand the Stalkers, but where the hell did the Rakks come…” Roland began only to trail off midway. “I have a feeling we will find out later, being honest.” Roland said with a flat tone. Just as he heard the sound of rapid explosive rounds being fired from Salvador’s hand cannons.

“EAT LEAD, PENDEJOS!!”

“Well, time for round two!” Roland laughed as he saw a bigger wave of Rakks coming their way. 

“Not sure what’s drawing all of them into a frenzy, but this isn’t normal. Even for this planet’s standards,” Mordecai said, followed by shooting at a pair of Stalkers that were behind the ones that Salvador and Brick were engaging head first.

“I can think of one thing, it is possible that a rakk hive is nearby and the key fragment is somehow lodged into its body.” Roland said as he redeployed his turret. “Another thing it could be is a really big and badass Stalker thats controlling them via the key fragment. Either way, the fragment has to be a part of this somehow.” 

“And whatever it is, we need to kill it.” Lilith added, “Hopefully, we don’t have to deal with any of Dr. Zedd’s ‘mistakes’, but considering our track record, who knows.”

“Don’t remind me, amiga,” Salvador grumbled, trying not to remember what she was referring to.

“For the love of everything, do not go there at a-” Roland began, only for them all to hear an all too familiar sound. “This may sound rich coming from me, but why did you have to say anything at all.” Roland said flatly as a few Skrakks came out of the mine. 

“Apparently we forget that Karma is a thing.”

“LESS TALKING MORE KILLING!!” Brick shouted out as he ran to the nearest Skrakk and punched it hard in the jaw.

“Agreed Amigo!! HAHAHAHA!!!”

“Well something we definitely all agree on.” 

Gilda could only watch as the five of them began to fight off and kill almost every monster that was in that valley. When she heard about them from Rainbow, she was led to believe that they were just mere treasure hunters. She did not think that they were savage warriors at all, especially ones that showed no mercy against any opponent that they found themselves up against.

“Well I think this confirms it that what we are looking for is in the mine,” Roland said in between shots. “Just the question is how far do we have to go or will one of these things be dumb enough to bring it to us.” 

“I don’t care as long as we can take care of these things here and now.” 

“Why don’t we force it out in the open?” Mordecai then suggested as he flew back for a moment to let his allies fight, before Gilda watched as he brought out some kind of metal contraption that was on his waist, “Hey Tina? I got a quick hypothetical for you.”

“What is it, Smorgy Mordy? Gaige and I were gonna teach Spikey here how to play Bunkers and Badasses!!”

Mordecai just blinked, before letting out a sigh, “We’re trying to force some creatures out of a mine, but they’re… let’s just say… being a bit too bitchy to listen. How much ‘encouragement’ would we need to use in order to draw them out?”

 “Well, if that’s what your asking, I say enough in order to make them panic like wussies. If you’re at a mine, then there should be some enough boom sticks lying around to do the job! Make that creep wuss out like a biiiiitch!!”

As he heard that, Mordecai sighed, before looking to his allies. “Alright, I just got off my ECHO with Tina. I might have an idea for forcing whatever’s inside the cave out here, but it’s going to require a few things.”

“Should I even ask what ‘things’ she’s referring too?” Lilith then asked.

“She said that if we had enough ‘boom sticks’, we can draw them out. Which leads me to think that she’s referring to dynamite,” the hunter explained, “Try to see if you can find any dynamite lying around. If we try dropping the mine on their heads, it’ll probably force whatever has that key piece to come out so they don’t get crushed.”

“Sounds like a plan. Brick, Salvador, you go with Gilda and try and find that dynamite.” Roland took a second to aim at a Skrakk and took it down. “We will stay here and make these things don’t go any further.”

“Got it Roland.” Brick then turned to Salvador as he tossed aside a stalker that got shredded by Roland’s turret. “Lets go Slab!” He then said to the Gunzerker. Who’s response was just letting out a triumphant laugh while Gilda slowly followed the two of them. A bit hesitant that she would want to get herself involved with the current situation and all the madness that came with it.

“So Gilda, any idea where the miners stored their equipment nearby? That would be the best spot to start looking.” 

“I wouldn’t be entirely sure since I stay clear of it,” the griffon honestly told them, “But I would think that there’s some kind of shed or someplace nearby where they keep their tools. Try checking there.”

“So, like a tool shed then?”

“Exactly,” She said, sticking to the skies to get a better view for the others down below. “There looks to be one to the right of the mine entrance. Try going over there.”

“Alright, you take it easy and make sure you let us know if anything comes from behind.” Brick then nods to Salvador as the gunzerker went to go check the shed. The door was locked, so he had to resort to kicking the door down as he stepped inside. Finding a crate of dynamite, an empty barrel and what looked to be gunpowder.

“Find anything?” Mordecai asked.

“Found la dinamita, along with un barril and pólvora.”

“What is he saying? I’m having trouble understanding?” Gilda then asked.

“He said that he found the dynamite, but also found a barrel and gunpowder. Something tells me that whoever was here first was trying to collapse the place before the tunnel before the stalkers got them. Pobres bastardos,” the hunter replied back, “That might be part of what we’re looking for. Grab everything you can and bring it back.”

As Salvador began to start pulling things out and Brick began to grab some of the items, that was when Lilith had a new question. “Part of what we’re looking for? What, do we need another piece?”

“Personally, I would think that it would be a bit more preferable if we had something to put the bomb inside the mine rather than put it in ourselves,” Mordecai explained, before looking up for a moment and grinning. “Lilith, Talon’s hovering over a place where he might’ve found a mine cart of sorts. Go see if you can bring it over.”

Lilith could only nod, before activating Phasewalk as she disappeared from sight. Startling Gilda again, but not before the berserker and gunzerker brought the supplies back. “Okay, with Tina not being here, we’re going to have to try and come up with this ourselves. Shouldn’t be that hard to do considering that most of the materials are already here,” Mordecai said, putting away his sniper and walking over to the supplies. “When Lilith gets back, we’ll have Brick shove this as far as we can into the tunnel once on the cart. From there, it should make a big enough explosion to draw whatever creature is holding the key out here. In the meantime, cover me.”

“Righty-o, amigo!” the gunzerker proclaimed, before turning back to the beasts that were coming after them and began unleashing a torrent of ammo at them.

“I hate to be on the receiving end of this when it goes off, but whatever it is will deserve it for sure.” Roland said as he reloaded his gun as the Rakks, Stalkers, and Skrakks all decide to hang back a bit before converging in on them. “TIME TO LIGHT EM UP!” 

“Got the cart right here!” Lilith stated, before arriving a few moments later, “Brick, you’re up!”

“On it!” Brick called back as he started pushing the cart. After a couple seconds he gave it a hard kick and sent it flying into the mine. “Carts down the hole!”

“Okay everyone, stand back!” Mordecai declared, aiming into the mineshaft and pulling the trigger, setting off a massive explosion in the mine while they took down the last few remaining beasts.

Of course, the explosion caused the ground to shake… and with it, had a new problem emerge from the ground. A giant sized thresher. One that was the size of another giant thresher that Salvador fought before called Terramorpheaus. And each one of the Vault Hunters had their own reaction to this. “Hijo de puta!”

“Oh shit.” Lilith cursed

“Holy-!”

“Oh my god-”

“Ha ha ha! Finally, a worthy opponent!!” the vault hunters heard Brick proclaim as he cracked his knuckles. “Our battle will be legendary!!” He then shouted as he ran forward towards the thresher.

“Heh, same ole Brick.” Roland said as he reloaded his gun. “Best not to let him have all the fun.” 

“Y-you’re not serious, are you-” Yet, before Gilda could finish her question, all the vault hunters ran into the fray to take on the beast, much to her own shock as the sound of gunfire rang through the air, “I really need to ask Rainbow about the kind of friends she’s making-”

“SWALLOW THIS, PENDEJOS!!”

“TURRETS UP AND RUNNING!!”

Lilith herself was even trying her best to hit the Thresher as well as throw some grenades at it. However, she soon began to realize a problem. “Guys, nothing’s working! Our shots are barely making a dent in its hide.” 

“Yeah I can see that, then how-” Roland started, only to be interrupted.

“Well if we can’t hurt from the outside, then we damage it FROM THE INSIDE!!” Brick shouted as he ran forward with a yell towards the Thresher. As Brick got closer the Thresher opened its mouth to roar, only for Brick to jump inside it.

“I mean… that is one way of doing it.” Roland said as he scratched his head.

“Do you really think that’s really going to get him anywhere?” Mordecai asked.

Roland opened his mouth to respond, only for the Thresher to start thrashing around in pain. Faint sounds of impacts and Brick yelling could be heard from the Thresher itself. 

“Sounds like it is working.” Roland simply stated.

“You think one of us should back him up?” Lilith asked.

“I don’t know. Do you want to be inside of a thresher, Lil?” Mordecai asked.

“…… Fair point.”

All the others could do was watch as the Thresher was continuing to thrash around in pain. Sometimes the Thresher would try and attack them, but then Brick would simply continue his assault on the inside of it. Until finally after minutes of internal damage the Thresher went down. Then before Roland could even speak, near the neck area of it began to move and Brick punched his way out of the Thresher.

“HAHAHAHAHA, NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL A FIGHT!!” Brick shouted out in pride as he grinned triumphantly.

“Uh, yeah sure it was. But I think you should clean yourself off before we go any further.” Roland deadpanned at Brick. 

“What about a key piece? Any signs of it?” Lilith then asked.

“Hmm, hold on I think I found it near its heart… or whatever passes for a heart anyway. I’ll be right back.” Brick said as he started walking back into the corpse.

“Brick don- and he already went in… goddammit.” Roland said as he face palmed.

“Oi amigo’s,” they heard Salvador now as the saw the key piece that he was looking for. “Look what I found.”

“Oh good. Now we don’t need to have Brick-”

“Hang on… I want to see where this goes,” Lilith smirked, watching in amusement as Brick continued to tear through the insides of the thresher. 

Roland could only heave a big sigh. “I give him five minutes before he comes back out.” All the while Brick could faintly be heard humming to himself or wondering where the fragment could be.

“Only five? That seems rather generous.” The siren teased. Which only had Mordecai roll his eyes and let out a sigh.

The only question in his mind now being how the hell were they going to explain all of this once they got back?
> Chapter 20: Rest for the Weary
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ok, so you seriously think I could eat this… and not bust my teeth, right?” Axton asked Spike. He got a nod in return from the small dragon. He then turned to look at his other two companions to get their input. However, Maya was just resting in her seat on the train ride back to Ponyville, while Krieg was just somewhere in their car in a corner saying something about the ‘precious’. 

“Alright but you owe me if this goes south.” Axton hesitantly looked at the gem in his claw, only to shrug and bite down on it. “Huh, tastes like candy.”

“Rock candy if you get what I mean,” Maya chuckled.

“True, though I don’t eat sweets that often.” He said in between bites on the gem. “So how do you think the others did on their fragment hunt? I’m guessing they got it with some problems from Brick and Salvador.”

“Some problems would only be putting it mildly,” the siren added, “Besides, it doesn’t take much to make either of them angry.”

The commando raised a single claw and was about to say something, but then shut his mouth and thought about it for a second. “On second thought, you’re not exactly wrong there.”

“You’ve been fighting alongside them as allies for how long? And you’re only remembering this now?” Maya then asked, followed by a small chuckle. “Are you sure that your new form somehow didn’t affect your memory?”

“First, I don’t pay much attention when Salvador is gunzerking or doing whatever else he does.” Axton said as he then sat up. “Second, f*ck you.” 

“Now that’s the Axton I remember,” the siren messed with the commando again, letting out a deep breath, “I’m just glad that this has been happening so quickly. Part of me wants to kind of take a small break. Not like a break where it’s interrupted five minutes later like at that vacation resort, but an actual break. You would go for that too, right?”

“Now that sounds like a dream right there,” Axton agreed as he leaned back in his own seat, “Honestly, just not having to worry about what is going to try and kill us next would be the best thing right now.”

“It definitely would,” Maya added, “I mean, given the assumption that Salvador and the others got their piece, we already have five out of the six that’s needed in order to finish the key. Not to mention that we aren’t in a race against time like when Jack was trying to wake up the Warrior.”

“Heh, true that. And adding to the fact that we have a general idea of where the last fragment is makes it all the more better.”

“Yup. I wonder if Gaige thinks the same way.” 

“Maybe, when she's not learning about magic that is. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if she is running Twilight ragged with what she wants to learn and how she applies it.”

That just had Spike look up, before deciding to add his thoughts to the conversation, “You know, that could be applied in reverse if Twilight wanted to know more about Gaige’s arm and what not.”

“I… I can actually see that happening.” Axton said after a second of thought. “Well hopefully, we don’t meet up with them when they are like that.”

“I second that,” Maya added on, before looking out the window and watching everything pass by.

“Want me to get in contact with the others, check in with them to make sure nothing went to sh*t too far?” Axton asked Maya after a minute.

“Only if you want to avoid them having to tell you face to face,” she shrugged, not really minding too much, all things considered. "As long as Roland and Lilith were able to keep their worst impulses in check, things should’ve gone smoothly.”

“Yeah sounds about right.” Axton said as he stretched. “I mean we can at least all tell each other about the crazy sh*t that we all went through.” 

“That’s a plus.” Maya chuckled, “What do you think, Krieg?”

“SALT THE WOUND!!”

“Yeah, I think he’s on board.” the siren replied as she began to mess around with her ECHO in order to pass the time. The entire train ride consisted of the vault hunters trying to do whatever they can to make the ride back less boring than it actually was along with trying to keep Krieg’s worst impulses in check. Which was kind of difficult because even a Psycho like him would get antsy after having to sit around for so long. Not even looking at his ‘precious’ was enough for him to fully stay distracted.

At least sleeping on board the express was much easier that Maya and the others thought it would be. Yet, her wake up call the following morning was the sound of wind coming in from an open window…

… And Krieg ‘train surfing’ outside. “Oh, what the hell…”





“Alright, now, let me see if I understand this correctly,” the voice of Twilight Sparkle could be heard throughout the kitchen as she took a sip of her coffee, “An ‘ECHO device’ is used for more than one particular function?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Gaige told her, “It’s like the equivalent of one of those Atlas Army Knife’s. One thing, but with multiple functions. It’s used for navigation, communication, helps me manage what I can be able to do in combat and also manage my inventory.” After finishing her sentence, the mechromancer demonstrated its capabilities by digistructing the Unkempt Harold that was in her inventory, holding onto it before letting the alicorn hold it with her magic to see that it was the real thing and not just a copy.

“Wouldn’t all of this involve digitally deconstructing and reconstructing everything that you have? That sounds like a lot of work for one small thing.”

“Hey. This small thing has helped all of us when we needed it most. Of course, a lot of its other features require access to the ECHOnet, but I don’t quite see it as a problem,” Gaige added, “Personally, I prefer being off the grid for a bit. Allows me to catch a breather and not have to worry about anyone trying to kill me out of nowhere.”

Twilight blinked for a moment, before raising an eyebrow, “Um… not to sound like I’m trying to barge in on anything personal, but why would you think someone would do that. Given everything that you and your… friends have accomplished, I wouldn’t think that anyone would try to ‘kill you out of nowhere’.”

“There are still some that try,” Gaige let out a sigh, “Remember when I explained about Marcie and the whole thing with DeathTrap blowing her up?” Twilight could only nod her head, recalling the conversation that they had before about the subject, “Well, saying that it was an accident is not exactly what her father wanted to here. He thought that his daughter’s blood was on my hands and that I was a stone-cold killer. Hell, his brother even went to a vacation resort on Pandora to try and kill me, only for his transport to malfunction and for him to die before even getting the chance to do so.”

“Wow… that is… rather detailed,” Twilight blinked, trying to process everything.

“I know… I just really hate the Holloways,” Gaige let out a deep breath to gather her thoughts, before hearing the door open as both of them turned to see Rainbow Dash fly in.

“Hey there, Twilight… mind if I ask you something?” she asked, before looking outside, “Is it normal for somepony to go ‘train surfing’ on top of the friendship express?”

“ ……… What?”

“MY PECS HAVE PECS!!!”

That just had Gaige facehoof herself as she let out a deep sigh. “Twilight, do you have any medicine for migraines? Given that Krieg’s back, I might need one-”

“HONEY, I’M HOME!!!!” they heard the Psycho burst into the castle, followed by Maya, Axton and Spike following not that far behind him.

“Well, at least Krieg was entertained… even if he was on top of the train.” Axton said as he walked into the castle while rubbing his head. “Well we are back everyone, and we also have the fragment. Which Krieg has now dubbed his precious.”

“I was going to ask you about how it went, but I think Krieg beat me to it.” Gaige smirked, “It wasn’t anything too difficult out there now, was it?”

“Nah, nothing we couldn’t handle. Just Krieg having some fun with those, uh slingtails I think they were called. Then just had to deal with a crystalisk infestation in their mines, and a giant crystalisk that had the fragment stuck in it.” Axton said as he walked over to them.

“That… sounds simple enough,” Twilight blinked, trying to process everything.

“He also tried ‘sweet-talking’ Ember while he was there. Didn’t go so well for him,” Maya added, which was enough to have Gaige fall back on the floor and start laughing her flank off.

“OK so ‘maybe’ I did try it a little, but I didn’t see anything wrong… other than the fact she almost torched my face off at one point.” Axton mumbled to himself.

“I think that would be a reason not to do so in the first place.” Gaige told him.

“This was after we got the fragment, but I dropped it after that point. So what did you get up to in the meantime Gaige?” Axton asked to move on.

“Well, Twilight’s been helping me understand how magic works and in turn, I was trying to teach her a bit about how some of our stuff works. Like the ECHO devices,” the mechromancer clarified for him, “Of course, explaining all of this and such lead to me having to explain when we encountered that ‘Victims of Vault Hunters’ group.”

At that Axton rolled his eyes. “Ugh, that group. It was all supposed to be a ‘relaxing’ vacation, except for all the locals and varkids trying to kill us and those dumbasses as well.”

“Was it because of those Holloway jackholes again?” Maya asked.

“You guessed it,” the mechromancer told them, “I had to explain that even with killing Handsome Jack and saving Pandora several times over that there are still people that want to murder me. They’re just exhibit A.”

“Do I even want to know what the others might be?” Spike then asked as he got up on one of the stools in the kitchen.

“Probably not.”

“Well, at least that takes care of that,” Maya said, before looking around for a moment and wondering something. “You know, it still feels kind of quiet here. Didn’t a few others choose to stay behind too?”

“Well, Fluttershy offered Zer0 a place to stay at her cottage and Tina claimed that Pinkie was letting her stay over for a sleepover,” the mechromancer explained, “Only for the claim to be debunked when the Cakes asked for us to watch her out of safety concerns for their twins-” Before she could go any further, they heard a noise that was equivalent to that of a speeding outrunner as Tiny Tina steamrolled herself into Axton, tackling him to the ground as Gaige had to let out a sigh. “And speak of the devil…”

“Hey Tina, how you doing?” Axton said as he groaned at being tackled by the equivalent to a speeding rocket.

“I’m quite well, thank you very much~” the teenaged alicorn proclaimed, using her ‘dressy’ voice before snuggling her face into Axton’s chest. “We had an AWESOME Bunkers and Badasses game last night! You should’ve been there!!!”

“That’s good to hear.” Axton followed with as he then patted her on the head. “Maybe another time I could join.”

“Pfft, like hell you’ll find us catching a break,” Gaige said jokingly… only to look back at Maya and Axton after hearing silence over the course of the last few minutes, “Oh god, you’re serious.”

“I mean, we finally are in a place where we don’t have to constantly have to have a gun at the ready.” Axton said as he got up and put Tina on his back. “So maybe some time to ourselves would be a good idea.”

“He does make a point.” Twilight added.

“See, so if you don’t mind I’m going to spend some time with Tina.” Axton said, before taking off with Tina holding onto his back. Maya herself was giggling as she watched the two of them trot off.

“Well, let’s at least hope that it's not like what happened last time he decided to take a walk,” Gaige commented.

“I HEARD THAT!!” Axton shouted from outside the castle, shortly followed by Tina’s laughter.

“Heh… I knew he would,” the mechromancer chuckled.

“Sounds like you’re having fun.” Roland said as he walked in with Brick, Salvador, Mordecai, and Lilith following right behind him. “Also, is Axton going to be hanging out with Tina?”

“All things considered, more than likely,” Twilight nodded her head as she looked back at the second group that came in, “Welcome back. How was your trip to Griffonstone?”

“Could be better, all things considered,” Lilith then sighed, “We got the key piece, but only after we had to blow up an abandoned mine. That and Brick & Salvador got into a bar fight.”

“WHA-!?

“Was it because someone insulted Salvador?” Maya asked, cutting off Twilight before she could finish.

“Worse,” Mordecai added, “They insulted his grandmother.”

“Okay, that’s definitely a line they shouldn’t have crossed,” Gaige commented now, before looking at Brick, “How did Brick get involved though?”

“Some dumbass decided to smash a chair over his head,” the firehawk now said as she folded her arms.

“Wow… they definitely sound like a dumbass if they think they can beat Brick.”

“Heh, and it was a blast, even got to practice on that new hobby.” Brick boasted.

“Yeah, and don’t forget you two also completely wasted the bar as well.” Roland said as he facehooved.

“And planted a ‘dumbass forest’,” Mordecai reminded them.

“Brick, just make sure you don’t kill anyone.”

“But I made sure not to this time.” Brick said with a look of confusion, only for Roland to facehoof even harder. 

“In any case…” Maya interjected, noticing the shocked and nearly horrified expression on both Princess Twilight and Spike right now, “Axton and I were thinking that since we’re in a really good position right now and we aren’t exactly in a hurry at all that we should take a break. Get the chance to catch our breath a bit and not worry about someone that would come to kill us.”

“That… actually sounds like a very good idea. Especially after what happened at that resort a long while back,” Lilith said, before looking back at Roland, “Remind me to tell you more about it later. Some of that trip brought back memories.”

“What memories?” Roland asked.

“The ledge,” Mordecai snickered.

“Wh- oh hahaha man I remember now. Now that was some good times there. Man Crawmerax couldn’t even see us.” Roland could only laugh as he remembered.

Twilight just looked puzzled as she stared at the hunter and the soldier, before turning her head to Gaige. “Should I-?”

“Nah… It’s only something we would understand if we were there.” the mechromancer replied back.

“Yeah you had to be there, that ledge was some of the best times we had.” Brick spoke up at the memory.

“Case in point.”

“So anyway, what's the plan now?” Roland asked. “We just taking a break for now?”

“Yeah from the sounds of it,” Twilight now spoke up before Gaige or Maya could respond, “Based on what Axton and Maya said already, we’re in a comfortable place right now since you already have five of the six fragments for your key. So there would be no harm in taking a break.”

“Hmm, not sure what i'm gonna be doing on my down time.”  Brick spoke up.

“Why not practice more of your new hobby?” That suggestion only had Mordecai facepalm himself, honestly not believing that someone actually suggested that to Brick. Given him, this was definitely not going to end well at all.

“Oh? And who would I need to go and meet to ‘practice’ on?”

“Uh, thats-”

“OH I KNOW.” Brick then said as he rushed out of the castle.

“Someone else deal with that before I somehow make it worse-.” Roland sighed.

“NOT IT!!” Everyone except Krieg immediately declared, before Lilith, Maya and Gaige left the room with Twilight. Spike himself went back upstairs after saying that, which led to Mordecai groaning a bit.

“Guess I’ll go do it then,” the hunter said, before looking back at Roland, “You owe me for this one, alright?”

“Yeah, I know. Good Luck.” Roland said as he left for a different room in the castle. Mordecai just rolled his eyes as he let out a groan. He had a bad feeling about what Brick was going to do thanks to Roland’s ‘suggestion’... and one way or another, he was not going to like it either.






“So Tina, What do you want to do first?” Axton asked the alicorn he had on his back.

“Hmm, I dunno… Ooh! Oooh! Scratch that!! Why don’t we go say hi to Pinkie!?”

“Uh… sure I guess.” Axton hesitated for a couple seconds before giving in. “Off to the bakery we go, now hang on.” He then spread his wings and flew the way to Sugar Cube Corner.

“WHEEE!!!”

After a couple seconds of flying Axton suddenly heard Brick come storming out of the castle with a look of mad glee. ‘Not gonna question that.’ he said to himself as he saw Sugar Cube Corner. However shortly after landing in front of the door, did it come flying open just barely missing his face.

“WOHSH*T!!” 

“HIYA!!” Pinkie shouted to the perplexed dragon and waving alicorn.

“HI PINKIE!” Tina responded, which came off as the equivalent of someone screaming in Axton’s ear, before she began to speak in what Moxxi would call her ‘flattery voice’, “How are you today, my dear?”

“I’m great today! Thanks for asking,” Pinkie smiled, “Would you guys like to come in? I can get you some of your favorite crumpets.”

“Ohmygod, YES PLEASE!!” the alicorn proclaimed again.

“Yeah sure.” Axton walked into the place in a daze as he still had ringing in his ears from Tina yelling. After shaking his head he took Tina off his back as they were led to the booth and Tina quickly hopped up onto the seat.

“I will just have some cookies myself though.” 

“Really? And Tina told me you were the adventurous type, Axty,” Pinkie giggled, before letting out a snort as she began to tend to the oven behind the counter. After a couple of moments, she started to get some croissants in the oven.

“Well maybe I might have something else later, but for now cookies… and crumpets.” Axton simply said as he leaned back in the booth.

“Okie dokie lokie!”

Axton then out a huge sigh. “I really am looking forward to this break from hunting for a bit.” 

“Me too!” Tina replied back, “I mean, blowing things up and watching them burn is fun and all, but you need to change things up… Of course, I’m not saying that we should stop those things. I mean, how would everyone react if I was trying to go clean?” Then, out of nowhere, Tina began to puff the fur on her chest and started to act like Moxxi, “It throws off my entire persona~”

“Tina, that will only work when you’re older… right now, you are just trying to be an adult.” But Axton could shake his head with a smile. “Though you’re not wrong on that part.”

“See? I told you! Throws it off completely.” the alicorn said, misinterpreting what Axton said immediately as all he could do was just groan.

“That’s not- nevermind lets just enjoy the food for now.” he commented, waiting for the food to be done. Then Pinkie eventually came skipping over with the warm crumpets and some cookies. He then started eating his cookies. “Ah, now these are some damn fine cookies.” He then looked over at Tina who tried to eat them with sophistication, only to stuff her face with as many of them as possible.

And that was before she got to the crumpets.

“You sure you’re gonna have room for the crumpets?” Axton simply asked as he started his second while she was most likely on her eleventh cookie.

“ABSOLUTELY!! MY STOMACH IS LIKE A BOMB SHELTER!!”

“I see…” is all he could say in response, just before Tina dove in and began to munch her way through the crumpets on the table. Within a matter of minutes, the plate was empty. Axton himself wasn’t even able to have one as the plate was empty. Not even any crumbs were left behind.

‘Well looks like all i’m gonna have is cookies for now.’ He told himself, however he did see Tina eye the cookies again and quickly grabbed the plate away. “I’m gonna have the rest of these.” unfortunately there were only two left on the plate.

“No worries. I got this,” Tina said as she clopped her hooves, “Pinkie, dos!”

Before Axton could say anything, two massive plates soon came out with freshly baked crumpets that were hot and out of the oven. Much to the commando’s surprise.

“OK then… more cookies it is.” He then put the plate and then just decided it would be better just to shut off his brain for once.





“Dammit Brick, why do you always have to run off in such a hurry,” Mordecai groaned, speaking only to himself as he tried to catch up with the Slab King. The hunter was not looking forward to the mess that his friend was going to cause if he was planning on going forward with his hobby. He recalled that Ellie suggested for him to take up gardening as a hobby, but from their bar fight in Griffonstone, he had a bad feeling that Brick didn’t quite fully understand what she was trying to tell him.

“Uh huh, so that's what you need to do,” Bricks voice was then overheard for the hunter. 

“Oh no… what now-?”

“YEEEAH!” Another voice was heard then clearing their throat. “You have to be gentle with them as well if you want to get them grow. Also you need to regularly give them water as well.” 

When Mordecai actually got a look at who Brick was talking too, he honestly couldn’t believe his eyes. It… sounded like a stallion, but it’s body was overly jacked with muscles and had two small wings on his back. The stallion looked (and sounded) like if Mr. Torgue was hired to be a motivational speaker and their muscles could just break down walls.

Which was ironic, because after they looked to be finished with their conversation, the stallion just walked through the side of a building and left a hole in the wall as one other mare with a lotus flower cutie mark looked back towards them. “Bulk Biceps, how many times has my sister told you not to come back into the spa that way? This is the tenth time that we have to get that wall fixed in the last few weeks!!”

“Well, that name’s self explanatory,” Mordecai thought, before turning to realize that Brick was missing again, “Oh for the love of-!”

“Hmm, now, where would the best place to- oh I know!” Brick said as he was still walking away.

“God, trying to keep up with Brick is like taking part in a wild rakk chase,” the hunter thought.

“I hope I can find some in time hehe, but it’s for some practice in gardening.” Brick then chuckled to himself.

“Oh no.”

“Hmm, I think it should be the best place for it?” Despite Brick’s comments, Mordecai was really wishing that he didn’t know the best place for it. “I guess that it can work.” Brick then said as he nodded to himself. Eventually, Brick somehow got away from Mordecai, much to his dismay.

“Son of a-”

“O-oh, Hello Mr. M-mordy,” the hunter turned around at the sound of that voice, caught off guard by the sight of Fluttershy standing right behind him as the pegasus looked a bit surprised, “I d-didn’t think you would be back so soon.”

“Oh r-right… we uh… kind of came back a while ago,” he replied back, before thinking of the first question that came to his mind, “Say, would you have seen where Brick happened to go at all? I was trying to keep up with him and made sure that he didn’t do anything reckless, but he got away from me.”

“W-what do you mean by that?”

At that point, the griffon groaned as he realized that the only way that she was going to help him was if he explained the whole story, “Well, back where we’re from, one of our friends tried getting Brick into gardening as a hobby-”

“Aw, that sounds nice.”

“-Unfortunately, how he sees gardening is much different. Instead of seeds he plants into the ground, he plants any poor fool that thinks they can beat him in a fight,”  The calm expression on the pegasus’ face immediately changed upon hearing that, leading to Mordecai letting out a small sigh as he looked back to Fluttershy, “I just want to find him before he does anything… well-”

“R-reckless?”

“Exactly,” as he said that, the hunter happened to notice Angel Bunny approach Fluttershy as he caught Fluttershy’s attention. It took a few moments, but Fluttershy’s eyes widened once she realized what the rabbit was telling her.

“H-he’s Where?”

“Did you find him?” Mordecai asked.

“A-Angel said that he spotted him running to the Everfree Forest… b-but that place is dangerous. M-many monsters live in there-”

“Wasn’t that the same one where Axton took a ‘walk’ through?” Fluttershy and Angel both looked at each other for a moment, before she nodded her head, “Well… I better go find him… though, part of me thinks that he could handle himself.”

“W-what makes you say that?” the pegasus squeaked.

“Well… sometimes, Brick is literally too angry to die.”





“TAKE THAT MOTHERF*CKER!!!” Brick shouted out as he held a timberwolf in one of his hooves and started beating the others surrounding him with it. “IMMA BEAT A MOTHERF*CKER WITH ANOTHER MOTHERF*CKER AHAHAHAHAH!!” and the only thing the one is his hooves could was whimper pitifully as it was thrashed about at its brethren. 

After a few more minutes Brick finally slammed the Timberwolf that he held into the ground. “AND STAY THERE!!” The timberwolf could only let out a very faint whimper. Brick then looked around and saw nothing but piles of sticks.

“Ah damn it, I should’ve taken it a little easier on them. Almost forgot I came here to practice.” He then looked down at the only one that was successfully planted into the ground. He then brought hoof to his chin. “I think I need some water now.” As he nodded to himself and walked away, the bundle of sticks combined into a giant timberwolf that ran away with its tail in between its legs.

“Now then, I believe there should be water nearby.” Brick then said as he kept walking, but making sure he marked where he was. Soon enough he found a swamp. “Well, it is water at least.” He just shrugged and grabbed a bucket he had on him and got some water. He was humming to himself for a little bit before he stopped and brought the bucket back up. However shortly after bringing the bucket up did a cragadile snap it jaws in front of his face.

“Now that's just rude ya know.” Brick said as he was unfazed by the cragadile, who sat there hissing at him. Brick then put the bucket behind him and cracked his neck. “Now there are two options before you. One: Go back into the water and I won’t hurt you. Or two: Y-” That was as far as he got when the cragadile lunged forward. It was expecting this to be an easy grab until it felt its jaws held in place by an iron grip. 

“Option two it is then.” Brick calmly stated as he nodded to himself and then got on his hind legs and lifted the cragadile above his head. The cragadile could only weakly thrash in pure confusion, as being lifted up was a completely new experience it would hope to never go through again. Brick then flipped it around so that he was holding the tail. 

“I hope you like the ground!” He then started smacking the beast into the ground repeatedly. Thankfully, the cragadile could take a beating, but that didn’t stop it from feeling the numbness of pain. After a few more seconds of being slammed into the ground Brick stopped, before spinning it around. It then let out a cry of panic as this was going on. Brick followed up with jumping up in the air and then throwing it back to the ground, face first of course as the creature got planted in the dirt.

“WOOO!!” Brick shouted out as he landed on the ground. He then looked upon the cragadile as it struggled in vain to try and escape. As he nodded to himself he then looked back at the swamp to see multiple bubbles and movement away from him as he walked to his bucket.

“Heh, guess some are smarter than they look.” He then picked up the bucket and started walking back to his planted ‘tree’ from earlier. As he was walking he could’ve sworn he saw a bigger timberwolf run away from him as he heard yipping in fear in the distance. “I guess I might have to look into that later.” He then just shrugged as the tree finally came into view.

“Time to give you some water.” Brick smiled as he went over to it, to which it weakly kicked its legs in the air. He then poured the swamp water over it and it once again kicked it legs, but with more force behind them. However it didn’t take long for Brick to become impatient.

“GROW DAMMIT, I SAID GROW YOU PIECE OF SH*t!!!” He shouted out hoping it would work. Before the frustration could grow any further he remembered seeing a bigger one run off somewhere. He then searched around to see if he could find the bundles of sticks that were there, only to come up with nothing. “OH I see now, if there are more of those things around when they are a bundle they can grow bigger.”

He then nodded to himself before shouting “GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!!”






Time went on and as Mordecai and Fluttershy finally entered the Everfree forest, they suddenly heard a yell. Shortly after that Mordecai let out a smirk as he sat down.

“GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH!! DON’T THIN-” Brick was yelling as he landed in front of them. After digging himself out of the hole he landed himself in he looked back into the forest with fury. “ROUND TWO YOU THREE HEADED LIZARD SH*T!!” then he finally noticed the two others. Fluttershy shaking in fear and Mordecai with a smirk. “When did you two get here?”

“We’ve been looking for you ever since you took off to go gardening,” Mordecai told him, trying to assure Fluttershy that everything was okay, “Of course, it was easy to find you when we followed the ‘trees’ you planted.”

“Heh, makes sense.” Brick commented as he then shook off the dirt on himself. “I mean I was chasing after a big wooden wolf when this lizard came out of nowhere and it’s giving me the best challenge i’ve had in awhile.”

“Y-you fought a H-Hydra?” Fluttershy squeaked.

“So that's what that thing is called. Well I still need to go teach it a lesson, hehe it wasn’t expecting me to fight back at all.” Brick just grinned at the challenge. “Besides I want that thing to know who is stronger, and I’ll be damned if it aint me. So do you two want to come with and see me fight it or help or not?”

“... Well, it’s not like we can stop you,” Mordecai said, “Though, we need to join back up with the others later.”

“Hmm, alright so want to have everyone else join in later or do it now then?” Brick then calmly added.

“More like let you have all the fun,” the hunter told him, knowing full well that the others would rather not get involved with this.

Brick then cracked his neck at that. “I’ll try to be home by dinner.” He then walked away towards where the Hydra is most likely waiting for him.

Which had Fluttershy look back to Mordecai as he let out a sigh. Once Brick had his mind on something, there was no convincing him otherwise. So, both the griffon and the pegasus began to make their way back to the cottage and hopefully find a way to forget everything they just heard. Maybe it was possible that Brick wouldn’t find the hydra-

“ABOUT DAMN TIME!! I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOUR NECKS END UP LIKE A F*CKING PRETZEL!!!”
> Chapter 21: Something Amiss
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ok, not that I mind coming along Starlight… but did you really need this big of a group?” Axton asked the nervous unicorn while motioning towards the group of Trixie, Gaige, and Zer0. “Like, is it really that bad?” 

“I would say that given what happened on your ‘walk’ in the Everfree, the concern is justified,” Gaige told him, “I mean, you got a vault key piece sure, but your overall methods left Fluttershy and the animals scared of you.”

“You are seen as a / bringer of death and despair / Our presence calms them.” Zer0 added on in Haiku.

“Ok fine I understand that part, bu-”

“They do have a point though Axton.” Starlight could only offer a sheepish smile in response. “However the reason is because I am… well, anxious is putting it lightly and all of you were the ones who have never been there at the town I came from before Twilight and the others went there.”

“By the way, what exactly are you anxious of?” the Commando spoke in curiosity. 

“Well I sorta enslaved everypony there in my version of equality and stole everypony’s cutie mark as well.” Starlight spoke quickly, clearly not wanting to explain that well. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Axton simply blinked twice, not sure if he heard correctly or not.

“Yeah… there’s a bit of a story to that one,” Gaige replied now, “Remember how Krieg is a reformed psycho? Well, Starlight’s a reformed bad guy.”

Axton just slowly looked back at Starlight and slowly blinked as well, all the while Starlight was smiling nervously and sweating profusely.

“Well, that explains a lot more than I thought it would.”

“I mean, it’s not like they have anything against and totally aren't going to trick into anything…” Starlight mentioned, still looking a bit nervous as she looked behind her, “On second thought, let’s go back. Yeah lets do th-”

Axton then grabbed the attempt at fleeing that Starlight had. “You invited us along, so don’t worry we’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you.” 

Starlight then looked back and forth between the Vault Hunter and the town before letting out a sigh. “Fine, but I can’t promise I won’t feel uncomfortable.” Axton just shrugged and let her go after that.

“Come on, Starlight. We’re here to help. What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Gaige asked.

“Hey Gaige… don’t sound like Roland right now.” Axton said as he chuckled as the group made their way into the town.

“What? Am I allowed to not try and give Starlight some confidence?” The mechromancer retorted.

“Nah not that, just a bad track record of that phrase… especially from Roland.” 

All Gaige did was shrug her shoulders in response, “Fair enough.”

“Now then, how about we get this show on the road.” Axton then gave Starlight a smile, though to her it looked menacing like a prank was about to be pulled on her.

“Heh, s-sure I guess.” Starlight could only give a nervous chuckle in response. Something that seemed to catch Gaige’s attention, but she didn’t really focus too much on it. Zer0 didn’t pay much attention to either as he just sat on the top of Trixie’s wagon and was meditating.

Hopefully, by the time they reached Starlight’s town, things would be much better.





In the short time that they actually were in Starlight’s old hometown, things definitely did not get any better. The vault hunters tried their best to support the unicorn while they were visiting, but the overwhelming thoughts that were going through Starlight’s head led to her having a panic attack moments after arriving. Not to mention that any kind of ‘support’ that Trixie and the others tried to give didn’t exactly do so well.

The way back didn’t make things better at all. Mainly it was because Trixie’s wagon was designed to carry about three at most. Meaning that every so often, two of them would have to be outside to help with the wagon. A chore that Axton was not exactly fond at all.

“I don’t see why I have to be one of the ones to push the wagon… I could just fly out of here.” Axton just grumbled as he was pushing the wagon along. 

“I’m really sorry, but it-” Starlight began as she was outside with him, but he cut her off.

“Nah, you have your reasons for reacting… well reacting like you did. If you would’ve just told us, maybe we could have done something.” Axton said to try and calm down the unicorn.

“Well I did try to.” Starlight began but just got a flat look from the commando.

“By try you mean try and run away?” all he got in response was a sheepish smile and chuckle.

“Wow… what a way to be blunt about it,” they heard Gaige respond.

“I can’t exactly fault him for it though. I mean you all were looking forward to it.”

“Wow, even though you mean well to me I feel bad.” Axton couldn’t help but look away. “But at least someone , oh I don’t know, could help by any chance.” However he still couldn't help but grumble anyway.

“DT and I were originally pushing before your turn and Zer0 was before us with Trixie,” the mechromancer pointed out, “Meaning that the only person who hasn’t been carrying his own weight is you.”

“You are so lucky I didn't decide to just fly back to Ponyville.” 

“That we are,” Gaige chuckled.

“No need to be humbled by my generous soul.”

“Heh, are you sure you just don’t want to deal with the others and explaining why you came back alone?” Starlight chuckled out the question.

“No comment.”

That statement alone was enough to have Zer0 speak now, “Admission doesn’t/always require words. Actions/speak louder than words.”

“Oh shush up you!”

Gaige just giggled as she looked back at Axton and Starlight.

“Come on now Axton, you did walk into that.” Starlight said with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah I know.” he then rolled his eyes as he continued to push the wagon.

“If only Trixie were awake to hear that,” the mechromancer added.

“Heh, now that would be something to hear.” Axton then smirked.

“Please don’t, I would rather not have that type of argument right now.” Starlight spoke up, though it did not wipe the little smile on her face as she imagined her friend talking back.

“Moving on,” Gaige spoke up, trying to change the topic of the conversation, “What do you think everyone else has been up to since we left?”

“I’m gonna assume that Brick might drag Roland on his hobby so he has someone else to do it with?” Axton brought up.

“What makes you think that?” Starlight then chimed in.

“I don’t know, maybe to have them catch up or something?”

“That may be possible,” the mechromancer added. “Though, considering Brick’s hobby… I’m not quite sure how long that’ll last”

“Well who knows, i’m just taking a wild guess.” Axton just shrugged. “How about you, any guesses?”

“No,” Zer0 simply replied

“Well then, how much longer do I have to push this damn wagon for?!” Axton retorted, clearly not liking his current situation.

“You have only been pushing for fifteen minutes.”  Starlight pointed out to the commando.

“Feels like hours.” He stated. 

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I thought the same thing when I was doing it,” Gaige added on

“Only slightly.” Axton grumbled, only for Starlight to chuckle at him. He then breathed out a stream of fire at her, but he made sure it wouldn’t hit. “Well hopefully we are going to be near Ponyville soon.”

“That’s a relief to hear.” Starlight said. After everything that they’ve been through over the last few days, it would be good to just get some much needed rest.

“Tell me about it, I just want to sit back and maybe take a walk or two.” Axton added as he smirked to himself.

“Really enthusiastic ones?” Gaige chuckled.

“Hmm, possibly. I won’t deny that that could happen.” The Commando chuckled along. “Maybe some relaxing walks as well.” Which just led to Gaige giving a look of concern to everyone else.

“Is it really that bad?” Starlight then whispered at Zer0, wondering why Gaige had a look of concern on her face. 

“Do you really want/to know? There is a valid/reason for concern.”





Couple Hours Later

“Finally, I see Ponyville and can stop pushing this damn thing.” Axton said as he stretched from pushing the wagon. “Never thought I would miss basic walking.” 

“Uh huh, sure…” Starlight commented as she learned about the commando’s ‘walks’.

“Need I remind you that we were all pushing this at some point?” Gaige said, “Well, everypony except Trixie.”

“Hey!! No fair! There are other ways that Trixie can support you without needing to resort to physical strain.”

That had the mechromancer roll her eyes, before looking back at the performer, “Oh really? Name one.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Name one way that you supported us on this trip back.” Gaige challenged her.

“Well, Trixie did manage to get cold drinks for everypony before we hastily had to leave,” the performer said, “Outside of that, Trixie provided moral support.”

Just that singular response was enough to tempt Gaige to hit her head on the wagon. Especially considering that it was from Trixie of all ponies

“Ok, sure you totally helped us out there Trixie.” Axton commented with heavy sarcasm, which earned him a solid smack in the gut from Starlight.

“Let’s just hope that everypony back in Ponyville has been doing well,” Gaige added.

“I’m sure they are fine.” Axton said as he started walking away. “Besides a walk sounds good ri-”

“AXTON!!” Starlight shouted out which startled said commando.

“Yeah?”

“Uh… actually, could you come and help me with something at the castle and well you seem the best for it.” Starlight commented as she gave a strained smile.

“Wouldn’t Spike or Twilight help you?” Axton asked, confused.

“Well, Twilight is mostly likely busy with something and… well, you have wings…” Starlight made a weak argument.

“That’s kinda mean for the little guy.” Axton said but simply shrugged. “But why not, I could do something to occupy my time.” too which Starlight let out a sigh and wiped her brow.

Gaige herself just looked back at the unicorn and smirked. “Nice save.”

Starlight gave a nod to Gaige as she asn Axton then walked away towards the castle. 

“So what exactly do you need my help with?” 

Starlight then began sweating. “Well, you now I just need help with some organizing and well also…” She then trailed off as Axton just gave her a flat look, she was just giving him a sheepish smile and an awkward chuckle. 

“Whatever, too late to back out now.” 

“Sorry I just heard about something and well with things that went wrong… uh um…” Starlight tried and failed to try and clear the atmosphere, however that wasn’t what was going through Axton’s mind anymore.

‘I don’t know why, but something doesn’t feel right.’ He said to himself as he looked around Ponyville, Starlight was still talking or at least attempting to try and get one. As she was looking back at Axton she then saw his expression go to a frown and she was starting to panic, which intensified when he then pulled out one of his guns.

“HEY THERE SLABS!!”

“JESUS F*CKING CHRIST, BRICK!!” Axton shouted as Brick shouted out at them.

“Something up Axton? You look like something went wrong on your trip.” Brick then looked at Starlight and then back to Axton. “The hell did you do, she looks scared out of her mind?”

“WHY DO YOU ASSUME I DID IT?!”

“It wasn’t you then?”

“I don’t- I just… why?” 

“Well when something goes wrong, you’re normally the one to cause it.” Brick stated as the commando stuttered in rage and confusion.

“It wasn’t his fault.” Starlight then finally said. “At the town it went wrong because of me, and just now was the same.”

“Oh HAHAHA, sorry about that then slab.”

“You are forgiven.” Axton said as his hand firmly smacked into his forehead.

“Well other than meeting you two here, everyone else has been tense as hell. Hehe, besides I was just about to go to the forest to work on my hobby again.” Brick just gave a smile as he walked away, but the tow caught what he said as he walked away. “Damn wolves keep running when they catch sight of me, wonder why?” 

“...What is his hobby again?” Starlight asked with some hesitation.

“Gardening.”

“Wh-”

“Don’t ask further, let's just get to the castle.” Straight meekly nodded as she followed along with the commando. After a little bit Axton walked side by side with Starlight.

“Don’t look now but,” The commando said, looking behind him for a moment before returning his attention to Starlight, “I think something happened in Ponyville while we were gone.”

“I… second that,” the unicorn replied, “Something feels… wrong. Like there’s something missing. Why don’t we ask around town?”

“Maybe, but i’m not sure that would be a good idea.” 

“What? Why not?” Starlight asked, a little bit caught off guard by Axton’s suggestion. If there was a possibility that somepony knew what was going on in the slightest, they should at least ask. It wouldn’t exactly do them any good if they just stood around and did nothing.

“Don’t know for certain, just call it a gut instinct.” Axton just shook his head as he gave Starlight a small smile. “Anyway, let’s meet up at the castle after we ask around and then figure out from there.”

“I’ll go tell Gaige and Trixie,” Starlight nodded, before leaving the commando alone for a short bit to go inform them. She was rather quick to return though, for after ten seconds, Starlight returned back to where Axton was.

“So, that was quick… did you have an idea instead?”

“What? No! I was just telling Gaige and Trixie,” Starlight admitted, “Plus I thought we could cover more ground if we do it together.”

“Alright then, so where to begin?” The Commando then looked around to see, then just shrugged. “Does Sugarcube Corner sound good?”

“Works for me.” the unicorn replied as she led him over to the bakery.

“Well, here's hoping Pinkie has some idea about what’s going on.” Axton was still watching their surroundings with some looks sent their way. “I just can’t shake the feeling something happened during the time we left and came back.”





“Sugarcube Corner is closed?” Starlight asked in disbelief as she and Axton were at the entrance to the bakery. There was a closed sign on the door and one of the owners of the bakery, Cup Cake, was standing outside and talking to them, “But I thought Sugarcube Corner was closed later than now?”

“I’m sorry, dear, but Pinkie told me that she had some important business to attend to later this afternoon,” Cup Cake explained to both her and Axton, “Plus, my husband and I can’t watch the twins and run the shop at the same time without her, so we had to close up early for today.”

“Hmm, now that sucks.” Axton was then scratching his head. “If there was anyone who would have an idea what was going on would be Pinkie.”  He then started walking away, with Starlight following a few seconds later. “While I can safely assume the same will be at the boutique, lets go to the castle right now.”

“Yeah, that would be ideal.” Starlight commented as she began to trot towards the castle of friendship.

On the way to the Castle of Friendship both of them receive varying degrees of stares on the way, but they just pass them by without looking at them. Upon arriving however, instead of finding any of the doors open, they are locked.

“Ok, now that just screams something is wrong.”

“Well lets try knocking then.” Starlight said as she went up and knocked on the doors. A few moments after she knocked, the door opened up and Spike stuck his head out.

At first, the sign of Spike was treated as a sign of relief. That was, until he started to speak, “What do you want? Twilight’s very busy right now!”

“Uh… w-we just wanted to talk with her-”

“Then make an appointment,” the dragon interjected, before retreating his head back inside and slamming the door in their face.

“So about there being something wrong now, this just says all I need.” As Axton then readied his Mongol rocket launcher, only for Starlight to panic and step in front of him. 

“Hold on!” she frantically whispered to him. “Let me go in and find out what's going on ok?”

Axton just looked at Starlight and he could tell how panicked she was. He then let out a heavy sigh as he put away the Mongol. “Fine, but you better make sure you get out fast when things go wrong or you find out what happened.” 

The unicorn nodded, before magic began to shimmer around her horn as she teleported inside as Axton stood there and waited. As he did, Gaige noticed him and began to trot over to him. “So… should I assume that since you look like you want to tear down a whole town that something’s up?”

“Yeah, that's the summed up version.” Axton just muttered as he walked away motioning for Gaige to follow. After they both reached the nearby woods he rested against one of the trees. “So I had this funny feeling that something felt off about Ponyville when we got back. Normally it's all bright and cheery and whatnot, yet when we were walking within town it felt… I don’t know, empty.”  

He then let out a heavy sigh afterwards before continuing. “It was all wrong but I couldn’t guess why, that is until the only normal thing happened was we met up with Brick before he left to go on his gardening trip. So we then decided to hit up Sugar Cube Corner after Starlight told you and the others. Here’s the funny thing, Pinkie wasn’t there and they were closed.” Gaige could only raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Yeah, exactly. So we then hit up the castle, and would you know it the front doors were locked. We knocked and then Spike came out and he didn’t even say hi or something like that, almost like he didn’t even recognize us. So before I got the smart idea of just blowing down the door, Starlight is inside figuring out what's going on.”

It took Gaige a couple of moments to process that. Though, eventually, she came to a similar understanding. “You’re right… none of this makes sense.”

“Yep, so now you see why I was about ready to blow this town to the ground to find out what the hells going on.” The commando just let out a disgruntled sigh. “Now I just have to wait for whatever it is for Starlight to find out.”

“Maybe while she’s trying to find out what’s going on, perhaps we can find someone we know that might have an idea on what’s happening?” the mechromancer suggested, “Maybe Brick since he’s more than likely gardening?”

“I'm not sure about that, but it's a good idea to start there I guess.”

“I’ll go tell Trixie so that Starlight just doesn’t walk out and think we ditched her,” Gaige told him, before stepping away for a brief moment.

“Well I better get going to Brick then.” Axton stretched as he began walking away.





After some time and finding various creatures ranging from Timber Wolves all the way to Manticores

“Well he at least made it easy to find him… I think.” Axton just mumbled to himself as he walked along, following the various bodies of creatures that got planted in the ground. Some weakly kicked their legs while others looked to be unconscious or dead.

“He is thorough at least in that regard.” the Commando just shrugged as he came to an open area. “Now where is-”

“Hey Slab, gonna help me with some Gardening?” Brick announced as he came into view with some buckets of water. It appeared as if he was solely focused on tending to his garden, for his clothes were covered in both dirt and also the blood of the creatures that he ‘planted’.

“Yeah, not really. I’m here actually to ask some questions.”

“Alright shoot.”

“So have you noticed anything strange happening in Ponyville when we left to go to that other town?” Axton asked.

“Hmm.” Brick then contemplated for a second before answering. “Well I saw some strange bugs like creatures and they tried to take me down. Heh, the two of them didn’t know what they were getting into.”

“Let me guess you killed them?”

“Yep.” Brick said with pride. “After that everyone else avoided me all day.”

Axton then looked at Brick with a flat look. 

“You didn’t even think to, oh I don’t know, QUESTION THEM?!”

“No, not really. They jumped me, and I didn’t bother doing anything else after that. However I did notice that Mordecai, Lilith, and Roland were all too busy for some reason. Other than that nothing else really of note.”

Just as Axton was going to comment, he heard something from his ECHO device. “Hey, Axton, I’m back with Trixie and Starlight. How’s it going with Brick? Did you… find out anything?”

“Oh I did alright… I most definitely did.” Axton responded and then just looked at Brick. “So How about the two of us go and meet with Gaige and figure out what’s going on.”

“Maybe, let me finish gardening and then get back to me about that.”

“Take your time.” The commando responded before going back to Gaige. “I’ll meet up with you in a bit and fill you in.”

“Sure thing. We’re back at Trixie’s wagon, so come find us there.”

“Be there shortly.” Axton said as he began leaving. “Meet up at Trixie’s wagon if you got time then.”

“Can do, Slab!”





“So, what did he say?” Starlight then asked as she walked alongside the mechromancer back to Trixie’s wagon, “Did he find out something?”

“Well, from what it sounds like,” Gaige said as she put away her ECHO device, “He did. Though, it didn’t sound like he was too happy with Brick about it.”

“Oh you have no idea.” Axton said as he landed nearby. “Found out an idea as to what caused this whole mess, but this is Brick so he decided action first questions never.”

“Uh… what?” Starlight asked.

“Don’t tell me,” Gaige then retorted, “He decided to plant them in his garden, didn’t he?”

“I think so, kinda hard to tell with them being covered in vines among the others that were there.” He then stretched out and looked at Starlight. “So, what did you find out anyway?”

“Not much, outside of the fact that even though we try to ask honest questions to some of the locals, all we got was hostility,” the mechromancer retorted, “I think I’m getting more convinced that something is incredibly wrong here. Did we wake up in some kind of shattered alternate reality from Krieg’s mind?”

“Wouldn’t that be a bit more… messy?” Starlight asked.

“... Fair point, I’ll give you that,” Gaige replied, “Still, something seems incredibly wrong and unless you want for Brick to start pulling things out of his garden, we’re completely in the dark right now.”

“The only thing I found out was that he was attacked by some bug like creatures and that's about it.” Axton commented. “Any ideas on that?”

“Bug… creatures?” Starlight blinked, “You mean… like changelings?”

“I don’t know, that’s all he said to me. Maybe that is what they are?” The commando just shrugged. “Other than that what’s the game plan now then?”

“We know too little right now to necessarily do anything right now,” Gaige told her, “Though, we could have Zer0 sneak in after dark? See if there’s something going on in the castle?”

“Sounds like our best option right now honestly.” Axton nodded. “I mean if there is anyone best at sneaking around, it’s gotta be Zer0.”

“You called me, Axton?” A familiar voice asked as both Vault Hunters turned to see Zer0 standing on a tree branch above the group, before finishing his haiku verse, “I have heard your dilemma / How may I assist?”

“Ah, just the vault hunter we need,” the mechromancer replied, before looking to Starlight, “Want to tell him what’s up?”

At first, Starlight was hesitant. Though, after a bit, the unicorn swallowed any doubt that she had and began to speak, “U-uh… W-we have a feeling that something very bad is going on at Twilight’s castle. Can you… find out what’s going on? W-without being seen?”

“Silence is Golden / Secrets hidden in shadows / challenge accepted.”

Shortly afterwards, Zer0 disappeared. Leaving Axton, Gaige, Starlight and Trixie by themselves. “So… was that a yes?” the entertainer then asked from inside her wagon.

“Zer0 has his own ways of showing that he agrees with something,” Gaige explained as she looked back towards Trixie, “For now though, the best that we can do is sit and wait until he finds something. Which might be a bit since it’s not even sundown yet.”

“So… anyone up for some card games?” Axton asked for them to do something. “I mean other than that, anyone else got an idea?”

“Trixie might have some cards in her wagon,” the magician replied, before she went to go search her wagon.

“And now we play the waiting game.” Axton commented as he followed right behind Trixie.





Many hours later

By the time that Zer0 had returned, both of the ponies and the vault hunters had anticipated his arrival. What started off as a friendly game between the four of them quickly devolved into Axton and Trixie in a stand off to see who would break an ongoing tie between the two of them at the card games they were playing.

The message that he had to say though… wasn’t entirely a positive one. “Unfortunate news / imposters in the castle / our friends gone missing.”
> Chapter 22: You have an army? We have Vault Hunters
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Unfortunate news / imposters in the castle / our friends gone missing.”

“Ah, sh*t I knew it.” Axton proclaimed as he got up. “So who were the ones to do it?”

“Do you think it might’ve been those bug things that tried to get Brick?” Gaige then asked as she looked back at the Commando, “Matter of fact, how exactly would they be able to do it? I mean, we’re talking about these guys basically kidnapping some of the most badass vault hunters we know… aside from ourselves of course.”

“I mean that would make the most sense, but unless Brick gets here I do-”

“You were talking about me Slab?” Brick announced as he came by. 

“Yeah we were ju… Brick, who is that with you?” Axton asked Brick as he noticed something shaking on his shoulders.

“Oh this one?” Brick then dropped a Changeling on the ground. “This one came by and I thought he was about to attack me like the others but instead he was more interested in my gardening.” Brick then puffs out his chest. “So of course as soon as I heard that, how could I say no.”

“And what did that mean?”

“All those bodies… who would do such a thing?” A weak voice came from the changeling on the ground.

“Wait a minute,” Starlight now spoke up, recognizing the voice as she looked towards the changeling, “Thorax? Is that you?”

Thorax looked at Starlight and just simply nodded.

“Ah that’s right! That’s what he said his name was. Heh, must’ve told me his name shortly after he asked me about my gardening then.” Brick then looked at Thorax and the changeling started shaking violently. “So, what other tip-”

“NONE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!” Thorax suddenly shouted as he then hid behind Gaige.

“Brick, I think you scared him,” Gaige told the fellow vault hunter, “Maybe Starlight and I should try doing the talking? I mean, if I remember correctly, Maya met him back in the crystal empire.”

Mentioning the Crystal Empire set off an invisible light bulb inside Starlight’s brain as she looked back towards the mechromancer, “That’s right! B-but wait… if he’s here, then-”

Gaige now looked back at the unicorn, slightly confused by the sudden change of tone, “What’s wrong? What do you-” Then, the realization hit her like she had crashed into a steel wall, “Oh… Oh sh*t… it’s that bad isn’t it?”

“What’s bad? Trixie doesn’t get it?”

Starlight let out a small breath as she nodded her head, confirming their worst suspicions, “If Thorax is here, it could only mean that something very bad has happened to the Empire too,” She said, before looking at the changeling “Am I right?”
“Y-Yes actually.” Thorax now visibly starts to relax so he doesn’t have to look at Brick. “I came here to try and warn all of you, but it seems i’m late in that regard. Chrysalis took everybuggy back to the hive.”

“Well, crap,” Gaige said, “And would it be right to guess that this hive is very far away from where we’re at right now?”

“Y-Yes, it is out in the Changeling Kingdom.”

“UGH SERIOUSLY?! All I wanted was some down time, but some royal bitch JUST had to choose now of ALL times to ruin it.” Axton complained as he was going through his inventory.

“So, what’s the plan Slab?”

“I’m going for a walk.”

“Axton,” Gaige interjected, “I know you’re angry, but we don’t even have the slightest clue of where they are or what we’re up against. Causing chaos in the forest isn’t going to-”

Before the Mechromancer could finish, what looked like a pink cloud was floating over their heads as they heard a familiar voice. “Did somebody say ‘causing chaos’?” Shortly afterwards, the spirit of chaos named Discord soon emerged and looked back at everyone else, “So, what’s with the assortment of side characters, a slab king and his subjects doing here in the middle of the night?”

“Any other time, I would ask you to kindly f**k off. But right now we need to come up with some ideas on how to get to Chrysalis in the shortest amount of time and ‘Introduce’ ourselves.” Axton stated as he put his weapons away. 

“Oh, you have a bone to pick with the queen huh? What seems to be the big deal?” Discord asked.

“Well, to simplify a long explanation, she’s taken pretty much everybody,” Starlight now replied, “Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, Spike-”

There was a bit of silence… but then, the draconequus had one question. A question that was joined along with the rather pissed off look that was on his face. “They took Fluttershy?”

“Uh oh, someone pissed off the wrong draconequus,” Gaige remarked.

“Yes, yes she did.” Axton said as he looked at Discord. “So what do you say, shall we have a friendly little chat with Chrysalis?”

“Count me in!”

“No, wait-!!”

Thorax’s words fell on deaf ears as Discord snapped his talons. However, there was a slight setback as everyone landed in an open and barren clearing. “What in…? That’s a first.”

“What’s a first?” Starlight asked.

“I tried to teleport us directly to where Fluttershy was, but I don’t see her anywhere.”

Now, the changeling finally had the chance to speak, “I was… afraid of this.”

“Afraid of what, Thorax?” Gaige now asked.

“It’s Chrysalis… or more specifically, the throne in her kingdom,” he now began to explain, while pointing to the kingdom over yonder, “The throne in her kingdom is magical and makes it to where any non-changeling magic that enters the kingdom’s borders is nullified. That’s why Discord’s teleportation didn’t work.”

“Well in that case I don’t see a problem with it.” Axton said as he got ready to fly. “I mean we can take the high route.” As he passed the barrier however he fell to ground. “Ok, that was weird normally I would be able to fly-

“Slab, I don’t mean to say you look weird but… how did you turn back?” Brick simply asked.

“What do yo- Oh, this is a welcome but unwanted surprise right now.” The Commando stated as he looked down upon himself in his regular form. It took a moment for Gaige to notice the same thing happened to her, along with Brick and Zer0 as well.

“Well I honestly think this might be better in this case.”

“Ha, couldn’t agree more Slab.” Brick grinned as he cracked his knuckles. “So how are we doing this then?”

At first, there was a bit of silence… though, after a few moments, Gaige got an idea. “Hey Axton? I might have an idea… Remember when we stormed the BNKR back on Pandora?”

“Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing.”

“Well, why don’t we have a group of us ‘go on a walk’ and while they’re busy attending to us, Starlight and the others can find their way inside and destroy that throne? Once that’s done, we can storm in.”

“Sounds like a fun time, Brick you-”

“Say no more. I’m as ready as EVER!!” Brick just let out a hearty laugh after.

“Heh, so Starlight whenever you’re ready tell us when to make our ‘Entrance’.” Axton said as everyone got ready.

“I… guess we don’t really have any other choice.” Starlight said. “But how would we be able to communicate-?”

At that point, Gaige took what looked like an ECHO device and just placed it in her saddlebag. “There. Had an extra one in case mine got destroyed, so you can use that for the time being,” the mechromancer told her, before moving a hand to hers to digistruct her Conference Call shotgun, “Now then, let’s go smash the queen’s system.”

“One rude awakening coming up.” Axton said as he got his SWORDSPLOSION!!! Ready.

Starlight just looked back at her companions, before letting out a sigh. “We should… probably stay clear.”

“Uh, y-yeah. Follow me, I know of a back way in… away from whatever it is they are going to do.” Thorax said as he led the way. “But we should still be careful, while I have no doubt they will be able to grab the attention of everybuggy inside, there would still be some who will be patrolling.”

Trixie was going to ask, but the sound of exploding swords colliding with the outer walls of the hive interrupted her before she could say anything.

“KNOCK KNOCK BITCH, WE GOT A DELIVERY OF ASSKICKING RIGHT FOR A QUEEN!!”





A few moments prior

“My queen, everything is ready,” the drone that was in charge of Queen Chrysalis’ forces reported back to her, “Our swarms are in position and managed to capture the town of Ponyville, Canterlot and the Crystal Empire. We also managed to capture some of the ‘individuals of interest’ that you wanted for us to observe and report back to you on.”

The statement was enough for the queen to look back at them with an eager smile on her face, “Finally… now that everything is put into place, no creature can oppose me. And those who would try to rescue Equestria’s most precious heroes would find themselves powerless in my kingdom. My victory is almost certain.”

“Permission to speak freely, my queen?” The drone requested.

“Go ahead, Pharynx.”

“While what you said is true, it wouldn’t be wise to assume that we’ve won just yet,” they said, much to Chrysalis surprise, “Our patrols did capture the elements of harmony and the princesses, that much is true. Though, our swarms have not mentioned apprehending the mare that Princess Twilight Sparkle took on as her own student. She might’ve been away from Ponyville when our swarm first moved in.”

“What of it, then?” Chrysalis retorted, “She is only but one unicorn and if she comes here, she’ll be a powerless one.”

“Our reports also happened to not mention any drone encountering or capturing the spirit of chaos named Discord,” the drone named Pharynx explained further.

“Pharynx, dear… did you happen to forget about the magical properties of the old throne?” the queen questioned him, “If any magically power being outside of a changeling tries to infiltrate this place, they’ll find that their magic is stripped away. It does not matter the species, the result stays the same.”

“Fair enough,” Pharynx told her, “Though, I have one final concern. It’s about the other you had us look for… the ‘Vault Hunters’ that you described?”

“What of them?”

“Well, initial reconnaissance reports suggest that there were ten of them or more in total,” the drone explained further, “However, after consulting with the heads of each of the swarms, it appears we only have seven of the numbers mentioned.”

“Pharynx, get to the point,” Chrysalis grit her teeth, irritated by what her drone was saying.

“The point, my queen, is that since the other four have not been accounted for, they could very easily prepare to storm this place. If we overlook these details, then the plan that you worked so hard to pull off will unravel at the seams and they’ll be knocking at our door-”

Before the drone was able to finish, a loud explosion ringed out from the central complex of the kingdom that was enough to shake the ground under their hooves. 

“KNOCK KNOCK BITCH, WE GOT A DELIVERY OF ASSKICKING RIGHT FOR A QUEEN!!”

Immediately, the queen stood up from her throne and let out a response to all her kin as magic began to glow around her horn, “All drones prepare for battle! The hive is under attack by trespassers!!! Overwhelm them and show these mongrels what happens when they storm into our home!!!”






“HAHA LOOKS LIKE THE PARTY IS STARTING SLABS!!” Brick shouted as Swarms of changelings came out of the hive. Cracking his knuckles he ran towards them.

“Well, I know of one way to thin the herd a little.” Axton smirked as he then pulled out the Grog Nozzle pistol. As he was aiming he started to waver the sight a little, to which his smirk got bigger. Right after that happened he then swapped to the Mongol. “ROCKETS GOING OUT!” Instead of the normal one rocket coming out, four came out instead and some enough hundreds of mini rockets came flying towards the changelings, which caught them off guard.

“Hell yeah! Domo arigato suckas!!” Gaige cried out shortly afterwards as she proceeded to summon Deathtrap to the battlefield and unleashed a flurry of buckshot from her Conference call shotgun as the bullets began to bounce off in every direction.

“Time to let the ladies come out and play!” Axton shouted as he tossed out his two turrets and swapped to the legendary smg Bitch. Right as more enemy reinforcements began to come at them from all sides.

“Well I think this sounds about right, So how many do you think are here right now?” Axton asked as he was dodging them and swapped to the Shredifier. 

“I WANNA SAY A F*CKTON SLAB!!” Brick shouted as he started using four changelings to beat other changelings. 

“Hey, you two! Less talking, more fighting!!” Gaige shouted, trying to see where Zer0 went, but immediately had to focus on the incoming foes.

“HEH I CAN DO BOTH!” Brick stated as he was handling himself just fine.

“Of course you can.” Axton grumbled as the changelings were trying to avoid Brick as long as possible while not getting in the crossfire of the other vault hunters.

Zer0, on the other hand, was trying to do more than just minimize the queen’s numbers. With the opening that was created, the assassin was trying to slip inside unseen while the others were having the fight take place outside. Of course, something like that was difficult at first because there was little space for him to maneuver through.

Fortunately though, Gaige noticed the series of bodies the assassin left behind and looked towards Brick. “Hey, big guy! Can you clear a path for us? Zer0 could use some assistance!”

“HAHA, ONE PATH COMING RIGHT UP SLABS!!” Brick shouted as got into position and started barreling through all of them. Axton quickly grabbed his turrets and started covering Brick as he ran behind him followed shortly by Gaige. With enough firepower, they had the berserker become a one man wrecking ball. “I THINK I SEE AN ENTRANCE, I’M HEADING THAT WAY NOW!”

“For the love of everything, don’t take us inside! I don’t even want to know what maze that place is.” Axton grumbled to himself as he kept blasting changelings out of the sky that came too close to Brick.

“You do realize that by trying to tell Brick not to do something, he’s going to end up doing it anyways, right?”

“I know, but some things you can't help but say, even though you know it's going to happen.” 

Gaige hated to admit it, but Axton made a point. Especially considering how Brick was making short work of anyone that tried to stand in their way.

“MAKE WAY, I WANNA MEET THE QUEEN FOR A LITTLE CHAT!!” Brick announced.

“God damn it Brick.” Axton mumbled as he followed him inside the hive.

It was around then that Gaige began to notice a green glow on the other side, before realizing what was coming. “Oh sh*t! They’re firing magic!!”

“GOT IT COVERED!” Axton then dropped both of his turrets and the shields just barely protected them from the magic. “TAKE A TURN BRICK THE SHIELDS WILL ONLY LAST A FEW MORE SECONDS!”

“LEFT TURN COMING UP!” To which he promptly turned right.

“Oh come on!” Gaige mentally screamed, before looking back towards the changelings that were firing at them and threw one of the Grenades she had with the Magic Missile mod. Hoping that would, in the very least, allow for Axton and Brick to change course, “Suck on this!!”

“BRICK HOLD UP… and he’s gone.” Axton said as he watched Brick go right as he and Gaige turned left. “I am not surprised in the slightest.” He then turned around and kept firing onto the swarm. “Ok forget this, I’m making some room for us.” To which he promptly swapped to the Norfleet and fired multiple times.

“Alright, that will give us some breathing room and I still hate the smell of piss and nachos.” Axton announced as he was covered in a purple hew. “So let's go down this way and find out where the hell we are.”

“Maybe after that Slag wears off,” Gaige commented, “I rather not think about what would happen if someone affected by slag made them more vulnerable to magic-”

“SH*T!!” Axton yelled out as his shields depleted fast as more changelings came around the corner. “OK ITS AFFECTED BY MAGIC GOOD TO KNOW!” 

“Well f*ck, why do I end up jinxing EVERYTHING!?” Gaige said, before getting an idea, “Axton, how many grenades do you have?!”

“Still full, I’ll just leave them a bonus package on the way out!” Axton said as he swapped to said grenade mod and lobbed all grenades he had, and shortly thereafter multiple explosions went off.

“Why don’t we just slag everything with Magic Missiles and then give them hell? If it somehow makes magic more painful, then why don’t we reverse it on them?”

“True, that would work. But for right now I just feel the Torgue option is best right now.” He then did swap to the magic missile and waited for the grenades to recharge. While Gaige did the opposite and started throwing everything that she had.

“Turrets going out!” Axton shouted as the two turrets landed on the ceiling to lay down cover fire. “Got some Slag going out.”

“Oh, this next part’s going to be fun!” Gaige smirked, preparing her shock Conference Call as she aimed it towards the mass of changelings. “Like the tagline says, LET’S PING EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!”

With that, she squeezed the trigger as a hail of buckshot began bouncing around the room where the changelings were standing. With some of them more focused on Axton’s turret, it allowed for the Mechromancer to surprise them with a flank attack that they did not expect.

“And that's all she wrote for now. Hehe, now time to find our way through this hive.” Axton said as the changelings finally stopped coming for them. “I think they got the message to stop coming after us.”

“Pretty sure that’s not the only reason-” She said, before noticing something coming from the opposite side of the castle, “Oh sh*t-”

“What’s up…. F*ck.” As before them was a huge wave of changelings waiting for them. “I think that's a good reason to stop.”

“Try telling that to Brick.”

“I don’t believe that's in his vocabulary.” 

“Not helping, Axton,” the mechromancer groaned, “Sh*t, at this rate, we’re going to get overrun. Starlight, whatever it is you’re trying to do, I really hope you do it now!!”

“Well lets hope its-

“MAKE WAY SLABS AHAHAHA!!” Brick announced as he ran right into the mess of changelings from behind them.

“Brick’s back I guess.” Axton said as he got his guns ready. “I agree though, Starlight better hurry. I'm actually running low on ammo for once.”

Gaige herself was also running on a rather limited supply of ammo. Though, as she looked towards Brick, that was when a bright light could be seen from the other end of the castle. “Hey… I’m no expert, but do you think that means anything?”

“At this point, anything is possible.” Axton said as he got his gun ready, only to stop as the changelings stopped fighting and got out of reach of Brick.

“HEY!! GET DOWN HERE!!”

“BRICK, HOLD UP!” Which got the Slab Kings attention. “I think something might be stopping them.”

Just as he said that, a massive explosion went off and a bright light consumed the battlefield. The feeling of magic being restored not only had the vault hunter’s bodies go back to normal, but caused a different change to happen among the changelings. Instead of being dark colored drones, many of them now had various bright colors and no longer had holes. Which, of course, was enough to confuse all the Vault Hunters that were there.

Especially Gaige, “What the actual hell am I looking at? Did ClapTrap somehow end up here and rolled over a harmonic land mine or something?”

“I would give anything for that not to be real. But at least I have wings again.” Axton simply stated as he gave his dragon wings a few test flaps. “Maybe Starlight got through or something?”

“Only one way to find out. Let’s go take a look,” the mechromancer replied, before looking at the changelings that were in front of them, “If you want to come along, be our guest. But if you try anything, you’ll have to answer to DT.”

To emphasize on her point, Gaige had DeathTrap be right next to her, while glaring menacingly at them.

“Hehe, I think they get the point after we literally rolled through, well Brick rolled through them.” Axton said as he walked away, alongside the changelings as they went to go see what all the commotion was about.

“So slabs, what are we going to do about the queen when we meet her?” 

“I think the others might get a jump on her before us.”

“Let’s cross that bridge when we get there, you two,” Gaige replied, noticing that up ahead, another ally was among the crowd, “Oh hey, look! There’s Zer0.”

The assassin himself just waved, before looking towards where everyone else in the crowd was looking at.

“So what's everyone looking a…. What?” Axton just got confused as he entered the room.

“Who in the hell is that?” Brick asked as well, hoping for an answer.

When Gaige looked over to where Starlight was, all the mechromancer could see was another changeling. Yet, they were as tall as Princess Celestia and had giant horns from the sides of their head that resembled antlers. At first, she couldn’t really tell who it was. Then, a realization hit her. There was only one changeling that went in with Starlight and the others while they were causing a commotion outside. So, by that logic alone…

“Wait a minute… is that Thorax?”

“Ah everybuggy is here, I’m glad you are all ok.” Thorax said as he noticed the others.

“Well damn, you got one hell of a growth man.” Axton said as he flew over to them.

“HAHA, you look like some kind of king now.” Brick laughed, which Thorax flinched at.

“H-Hehe, yes... in a way.”

“A King BADASS!” Gaige proclaimed, “Tell me, how did it happen-”

“M-maybe later,” Thorax insisted, before tilting his head back to where the rest of the group was as they saw Chrysalis coming out of a pile of debris. Starlight herself looked to be trying to persuade her to try and change her ways, though, her words fell on deaf ears as the queen ran off. But not before swearing vigorously that she would have her revenge.

Which, eventually, led to everyone regrouping and the mechromancer asking a simple question, “So… who would like to start?”

That was followed by the sight of an outstretched hoof from Zer0, as well as the sight of what they were looking for attached to his arm.

The final piece of the Vault Key.

“Well, I guess that ma-” Before Axton could finish the Key piece started to glow, then soon enough all the Key pieces came together to form the complete item. “Well the key is ready, all that’s left is to go and raid the Vault.”

“Shouldn’t you get some rest first?” Starlight asked. “I mean, you were pretty much fighting an army out here.”

“Oh believe me, I want to rest first before then. Also I really need to stock up on ammo as well, nearly ran out for the first time in a long while.”

“Sounds like I missed quite a show,” they now heard Maya speak up as she approached the group.

“Maya!” Gaige spoke up, relieved to see that she was alright, “How’s everyone?”

“Sore as hell, from the sounds of it,” the siren replied as she looked towards the other vault hunters that were trying to catch a breather. It looked like Brick was trying to be motivational and cheer them up, but his friendly advice was not getting them anywhere, “So I think we can agree with Starlight that a rest is in order. We have no idea what’s waiting for us in the vault, so we should take a breather.”

“That is the plan then, man, I'm finally looking for some decent down time for once.”
> Chapter 23: Return to Dragonkeep part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the victory over Queen Chrysalis and what subsequently happened with the changelings, all of the Vault Hunters agreed that some proper rest and recovery was in order before they were to take on the overwhelming challenge of opening a vault and potentially fighting whatever was inside. Though, when it came to how to recover, there were a bunch of different ideas. Yet, there was one idea that was better than the rest. And luckily, they were just about to get started.

“So what was the name of this game again?” Spike asked as he sat next to Gaige and Starlight while Tina was Twilight’s seat back at the cutie map. Thanks to some of the digistruct tech that Tannis had repurposed from her training course of Digistruct Peak, she was able to send specific items to them and the vault hunters could send items back.

Of course, the first thing that was sent was something Tina had personally requested. And when she finally got her hooves on it, she couldn’t wait to get started. “This, my dear friend, is a special game that we call ‘Bunkers and Badasses’!” she proclaimed, while setting up the board and also placing the dice and figurines on the table, “As the bunker master, I will weave together a tale of fantasy while you as the players get to determine how the course of the story plays out-”

“Wait, hold on… are ya telling me this is some kind of kids game? Why do ya like playing this?”

“Maybe because DON’T TALK TRASH ABOUT IT, AJ!!”

“Tina,” Maya now spoke up, before looking back at the startled earth pony, “She’s kind of right though. It’s rather fun once you get started. Heck, Mordecai had his doubts last time they played and by the end of the game, he actually enjoyed it.”

“Yeah, so before you go about thinking it's a kids game, actually give it a try.” Axton said as he was sitting across from Spike. “I was hesitant at first as well, but after a few games it’s pretty fun.” 

“Hold up there, shorty,” Tina replied, “While I do have some new figures and everything, I only got enough for a certain amount of people.”

“Wait, new figures?” Gaige asked, “Since when?”

“Well, I kind of ordered them a long while before we were all ‘ZAP! POW! KA-BLAM!!’ before we ended up here, so I thought it would be a perfect chance to try them out.” Tina replied, “Now, before we get this game rolling, since we are starting a new campaign, you pick your characters. We got the Gunzerker, Commando, Mechromancer, Assassin, Psycho, Siren-”

“DIBS!!”

“- … which Brickety brack called dibs again,” Tina continued, “And lastly, the two new ones I got. The Hunter and the Monk.”

“How are those last two supposed to work? Are they new additions?” Lilith now spoke up.

“Well, according to the new updated rule guide on the ECHO.net, yes!” the excited teenaged alicorn proclaimed before she started to look at her echo device, “The hunter is supposed to be a long ranged fighter who can tame various animals and have them fight alongside their companions, while the monk can protect their allies and defeat their enemies by beating them up with their bare hands.”

“Wait… bare hands you say?” Brick then got a thoughtful but troubled look on his face. “Mind telling me more?”

Tina obliged to the request and began to fill the slab king in on what she called ‘the deets’ surrounding the particular class. It was something that fit up Brick’s alley. Though, last time around, he really had fun playing as the prettiest siren in the land named Brick.

“Hmm, that does sound like fun, but I wanna be a Siren again.”

“Well, why not flip a coin and go from there.”

“Yeah but, I don’t know Slab.”

“You sure there isn’t something where he could do both, Tina?” Gaige asked, “I mean, aren’t there like subclasses or something?”

“Yeah, but Sirens don’t really have a lot of options that involve smacking people in the face. They’re more about magic… and setting people on fire.” Tina replied, “But hey, you guys are cool with trying new stuff! Remember when we let Mr. Torgue join?”

“That was after we ended up being kind of a dick to him,” Lilith sighed, not exactly proud of that particular moment to him, “Besides, if we’re starting a new campaign, then we should start off fresh, right?”

“Yeah I agree, a fresh start sounds nice.” Axton commented while some of those who didn’t know the details looked at Lillith with confusion.

“I GOT IT, I GOT DIBS ON THE MONK.” Brick proudly exclaimed. “HAHA a fresh campaign deserves a fresh character.” 

“Well that answered that I guess.” Axton sighed as he looked on the board. “You know, I wanna try out that Hunter class might be an interesting take on this for me.”

“I’ll go mechromancer,” Gaige replied. “This will be fun.”

“Oh right, that reminds me,” Maya asked, “Are you going to tell Roland that you made his character an NPC during the last time you guys played?”

That had Starlight ask a different question now, “Wait, last time?”

“Yeah the last time that we played, it was just myself, Brick and Mordecai with Tina as the Bunker Master. Gaige and the others were beating the crap out of a Hyperion informant that snuck into Sanctuary somehow after Handsome Jack died,” Lilith clarified, “It had it’s… twists and turns, but all and all, it was still fun.”

“Yeah I think you should tell him.”

“BE RIGHT BACK WITH HIM, HE SHOULD JOIN US!” Brick announced as he quickly rushed out of the room, shortly hearing Roland start protesting. 

“DAMMIT BRICK I CAN WALK ON MY OWN!”

“Well, that was sudden,” Maya said, a bit caught off guard by how Brick decided to take things into his own hooves so quickly. “So, who wants to bring him up to speed?”

“Ok, so why did Brick bring me here? Not that I mind but an explanation would be really nice right now.” Roland stated as he was then seated next to Brick.

“We are going to play a game of Bunkers and Badasses.”

“Alright and?”

“AND LAST GAME WE PLAYED YOU WERE IN IT HAHA!!” Brick announced.

“Gonna need some more details on that.” Roland said, looking towards Lilith.

“We were mentioning that last time, Tina had your character be an NPC since… you know…” Lilith then moved a hoof across her neck to try and symbolize what she was referring to, “It was still a fun campaign, even though…”

“I was kind of in a dark place back then hugaboo, so I kind of used Bunkers and Badasses to help… well, cope.”

“Ah I see, but hey I’m here now alright. But we all need some things to cope when we are in a dark place, and if this helps then go for it.”

“Speaking from experience?” Starlight asked. Yet, before they even got to that, Tina immediately started giving everyone pieces of paper and pencils.

“Alright, hunk-a-dunks! Here are your character sheets and these are the dice we are using,” She said, before dropping a massive hoof-ful of dice onto the table, “Take about ten minutes to come up with your characters and then we’ll go ahead and get this bitch STARTED!!”

“ALRIGHT!!” Brick shouted as he got his character ready.

“I think I get what this is getting at.” Axton commented as he saw what was going on with his character.

“Given how Tina has described everything so far, this is going to be fun,” Gaige remarked shortly afterwards.

“Well, I hope this is going to be fun.” Roland said as he saw this. 

Once all the character sheets were filled and everything was put in place, there was only one thing left to do.

“ROLL FOR INITIATIVE, SUCKAS!!”





“Some time ago, the story of a group of adventurers saving the queen of the land and bringing waste to the tyrannical leader known as the Handsome Sorcerer brought forth hope and change. For a time, there was peace. However, recent events have left the citizens uncertain about how long it will last. The queen’s trusted white knight, Roland, had sent out a call to all adventurers around the lands… and stuff. Brought together by his call, your party now arrives at Flamerock Refuge. Whether it be for honor, glory, or dat sick legendary loot… I know who you are, you’re all here for a reason. Now, you gotta go find him and see what is up in da neighborhood.”

Once Tina was done with her ‘narrator voice’, the young alicorn looked to all the badasses that were playing before asking a simple question. “Now, what do you do?”

“Starting in town? That’s… new,” Gaige thought, before shaking her head, as she raised her metal arm, “Oh, right, how about we start by finding Ellie? She would probably know where Roland is, right?”

“An interesting observation,” Tina replied in her ‘girly voice’, “Party members, what do you think?”

“One thing first, who’s Ellie?” Spike asked, fairly new to the game and also felt that Tina was talking about something that some of the other vault hunters knew about that some of the new players weren’t familiar with, “It might sound familiar to you guys, but not to us.”

“In our last campaign, Ellie was in charge of watching the town while we were helping Roland stop the sorcerer,” Lilith took a moment to answer the dragon’s question, “Basically someone that was keeping watch while the queen’s knight was away.”

“From what I heard, she had an interesting side quest you guys went on.”

“Heh, finding some armour for her was something.” Brick brought up.

“Yeah, because the only options were either actual armor or a metal bikini,” Lilith groaned, not even wanting to remember what it took to get Brick to not choose the latter of the two options, “Anyways, I think finding Ellie’s a good starting point. Any objections?”

The room went silent, before Lilith looked back towards Tina and gave her a nod. Which had Tina pick up from there. “As you wander around town, your gaze soon turns to the sight of a hefty figure, with shiny valkyrie armor and badonkadonks that could crush the head of any fool too dumb enough to cause trouble. Yet, there’s no sign of any ‘white knight’. When she notices you, the fair lady speaks,” the teenager would then clear her throat, before she began her best impression on Scooter’s sister, “Well, howdy! Been a while since we had a party like you roll into town, sweet things. I’m Ellie, pleased to meet you. Flamerock’s white knight told me to be expecting you, but ah’m surprised so many answered his call.”

“S-so, do we roll to see who gets to talk to her first?” Spike now asked, recalling something similar in the tabletop games he was familiar with, but wanted to make sure that he wasn’t getting ahead of himself.

“Eh, not really. Huggabutt, we roll on those kinds of things that could make or break a campaign,” Tina shrugged her shoulders, “Now, who’s talking.”

Maya raised a hoof to get Tina’s attention, before taking the chance to speak, “I walk up, before saying ‘Why hello to you as well, fair lady. Would you happen to know where the white knight is? It would be rude of us to keep him waiting’.”

“Now, no need for all this fair lady crap. Ah can handle myself, ya hear? Anyways, if it’s Roland you’re looking for, ah last saw him by the stables reporting to the queen. Ya probably want to mozy over there, for something’s gotten him in a bit of a twist lately if ya know what I mean.”

“And with that, your party’s first destination is the town stables. Home to the majestic queen herself, Butt Stallion!!” Tina would then place the miniature of the queen on the board, something that surprised Spike when he took a look at it. Especially since the queen herself looked almost like Rarity, but with a few extra steps.

“Been a while since we last saw Butt Stallion.”

“I GO UP AND SMACK THE QUEEN ON THE BUTT!!” Brick yelled out. “Of course after I feed her some Eridium.”

“Wait, you’re going to do WHAT NOW?!” Roland asked.

“Long story, not really the right time to explain,” Mordecai said to try and calm things down.

“Tina, care to help?” Lilith asked.

Tina nodded, before clearing her voice as she began to narrate, “When you arrive at the stables, you see the White Knight Roland, looking very fine with his shiny armor and sword of badassery on his hip, while her majesty was idly standing. The knight's faithful companion, Bloodwing swoops in from the sky and lands on Roland’s arm. A note appears to be attached to the bird's leg, one that he quickly glances over before noticing your arrival.”

Then, the alicorn began to do her best impression of Roland right on the spot, “Well, you must be the ones that answered my summons. If I knew so many of you were coming, I could’ve prepared you something special for coming out all this way. Yet, we don’t have the time for that I’m afraid.”

“What seems to be the problem?” Starlight now asked, taking a turn to respond as the character she chose.

“Where do I even begin, shorty? There’s been a rumor on the wind about suspicious activities around what remains of the handsome tower and shiz. I sent my most trusted badasses in order to go investigate. Yet, it’s been days since their last report and I fear the worst,” Tina said, before holding up a blank piece of parchment in hoof to act like the Roland in game was holding the scroll that he received from Bloodwing, “Right now though, we got some good news and some bad news. Good news is, a defector of the Holy Order of Knights claims to have important information that can help us. Bad news is, the rest of the order is hunting them and we don’t know how long it will be until they catch up with them.”

“Does this knight even have a name? For all we know, it could be a trap.” Mordecai asked.

“Can’t say for sure, homie. Whoever wrote this wanted to keep their identity hidden. They just go by ‘The Owl’. The note also says that they have taken up refuge by the abandoned blacksmith in the forest. Find them and make sure they get back here safely, shorty.”

“And with that, Roland has given your party your first quest! Find the defective knight and make sure they’re brought back to town. Alive, preferably.”

“I can totally do that hahaha!” Brick announced.

“Tell that to the dwarves then.” Axton commented.

“Don’t remind me,” the Firehawk replied, before looking to Tina, “Before we set out, is there anything we could do in town?”

“Not at the moment, hugaboo. Though, it’s your choice if you want to explore or not.”

“Technically, with how urgent the situation is with the Owl, the sooner that we find her, the better,” Gaige suggested, “Besides, with the gold and xp we get from the quest, we can worry about ungraded and such later.”

“Works for me, besides it can't hurt to do some searching later on anyway.” Axton said as he looked at Brick.

“HAHA ONWARD TO THE FOREST SLABS!!”

“Alright, I guess we’re in agreement on that,” Maya replied, “So Tina, this Forest you mentioned they were in. Care to set the stage?”

The young alicorn nodded, before changing out the map and placing their miniatures on top of it, along with a hut farther down on a side back that Lilith recognized as the Forge, “You now enter what was once the Forest of Tranquility! The forest used to be calm and pleasant as much as the fairies and spirits that lived here. Yet, because of the Handsome Sorcerer’s magic, many of the trees now once symbolized all of the people that he had transformed into dangerous treants. Things had slowly begun to take a turn for the better, but there’s no way to reverse it. Also, Orcs are very much an annoyance.”

Once they made it down the ledge and into a clearing, Tina was quick to place what looked to be three cardboard plaques of what appeared to be tree stumps. “Just as you’re about to make your way down the hill, you’re attacked by three stumpys and an elder treant that’s behind them. Now, roll for initiative and we’ll see who gets to act first!”

“Alright I got-”

Axton didn’t get to finish before Brick beat him to the punch. “HAHA TWENTY!”

“Um Brick goes first I guess.” 

“Okay, Brick, what do you-”

“I PUNCH THE STUMPS!”

“... Y’know, I was kind of expecting that,” Tina replied, before having the berserker roll again to see how successful he was, “Alright, go ahead and roll, you need a 9 in order to clear-” Brick took a chance to roll the dice before she could finish, “And 16, that and your strength modifier results in a crit! ‘With a powerful strike, the stumps are no more. Yet, the elder isn’t quite happy with the murder of his children right in front of him. While they prepare to unleash an attack, the rest of the party has time to act’! Gaige, you’re up next.”

“I roll to summon Deathtrap and to have him cover Brick from whatever that Elder’s planning!”

“Alright, a spell! What’s the modifier on your sheet for that?”

“Um… around thirteen?”

Tina then rolls the dice, before she spoke again, “You were able to shield Brick from the treant’s attack, but your DT has taken some damage! Fortunately, the elder is focused on your summon and not the rest of the group. Which gives them the perfect opportunity to attack while their attention is elsewhere!” she then looked over to where Spike was, “Little guy, you’re up next.”

Spike, at first, was surprised by the sudden shift to him. Though, that’s when he got an idea, “Um… who was to come next after me?”

“I think that’s Axton. Why?” Maya asked.

“Well, one of my abilities here says infusion… get the chance to infuse another party member’s weapons with a certain elemental affinity that only lasts for the length of the fight,” he said, before he looked to the bunker master, “Tina, I want to roll to infuse Axton’s next attack with more fire damage.”

Tina rolls again, with a small grimace on her face, “You barely made the threshold, shorty! ‘With a twist of his hands, Spike the brave has strengthened his nearby ally and readied them for their next attack. Now it is time for the Commando to take advantage of this given opportunity’!”

“Alright, time to get a hit in!” Axton then checked his sheet. “Modifier is a sixteen for me.” 

“Sixteen, check! Now roll to see if you land that sucka!”

“Alright here we go.” Axton then rolled. “Uh what does a fifteen get me?”

For a quick second, Tina went to check the Bunker Master Handbook, before looking back to the Commando. “Your attack hits and thanks to the enchantment, fire begins to burn away at the enemy’s wooden skin. Quickly, the flame spreads and the fiend falls!” she cheerfully replied, “Now that they’re gone, you got your XP and can proceed. Be careful though, for there may be more lurking about.”

“As long as it’s balanced, I think we’ll be okay,” Lilith chuckled before looking at Roland, “Last time around, she forgot to balance the combat by the forge, so we almost fought something way out of our league.”

“Like if you had to fight Crawmerax when we first stepped foot on Pandora.” Mordecai added.

“What the hell, that would’ve been a nightmare alone. At least you managed that on the fly Tina.”

“HEHE, I bet we would’ve been able to handle it just fine.” Brick brought up.

"Always the optimistic one," Maya commented.

“Damn right Vault Hunter!” Brick said.

“Alright now that is done, let's continue on before this guy we’re looking for ends up dead or the one who causes himself to die.” Axton commented. “I guess I can look around to see if there are more around just in case.”

“Currently, the main road is clear. Though, since the forge itself is off the beaten path, be on the lookout for any alternate routes.”

“I’ll be on the lookout then for the paths.”

“And I’ll be on the lookout for more creatures to pummel.”

Gaige could only smile at that as she looked towards Axton briefly. “Well, looks like things are off to a pretty nice start.”

“Yeah, for now.” Axton smiled back. “Alright let’s get a move on.”

Tina nodded as she had the group continue to move forward. Though, at one point, she had them stop as her monologue changed just before they reached the path to the forge. “In the distance, you can hear the sound of steel clashing against steel and the cries of pain. Yet, as you reach the clearing, you see the bodies of a couple fallen knights. Along with a triumphant and sexy warrior standing over them. For they were no ordinary fighter, this was, in fact, the Owl herself!”

The Owl
‘A wise badass once said…’

At first, Lilith was not sure of where she was going with this. But when Tina put down the mini that was supposed to be this new character, the siren had a feeling of ‘who’ this was supposed to be. Though, Gaige was the first to speak.

“Hey, is it just me or does that look like that one lady you had at Sanctuary. The one named Athena, I think?”

“I mean, I guess it works?”

“About time,” Tina began to immediately voice the character, “I had the feeling that the White Knight would send someone to aid me, though I did not think it would be a group of adventurers. Well, there’s no point in complaining-”

Suddenly, Tina changed her voice to the point that anyone nearby could hear a voice crack, “There she is! Kill the traitor to our order!! We will not let a defiler of our holy ways still draw breath!”

“And the time for talk has passed. Look, I know that there was something I wanted to tell the white knight, but I can’t do that if I’m dead. Help me make sure that these idiots don’t separate my head from my shoulders and I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

“HELL YEAH, TIME FOR COMBAT!”

“Easy Brick. Something tells me that these guys aren’t the same as the stumps we just fought.” Maya tried to tell him, even though the Berserker was more focused on driving his characters fist through their skulls.

At that point, Tina placed down several figures. Including three knights with swords and shields, two archers in the back and a giant knight with a hammer. “There she is! It’s time we clip that traitor’s wings!!”

“Well, time to take this carefully.”

“I PUNCH THE KNIGHT IN THE FACE.” Brick announced which was followed by Roland and Axton facepalming at the same time.

“Should we even roll to see who goes first? Because I bet Brick’s going to get a high number again-”

“TWENTY HAHAHA!”

“Yep, saw that coming.”

“You were able to hit the knight in the face! However, the vacant spot left behind by where the knight previously had been was immediately filled by another expendable squire!”

“Crap, it must be that guy with the hammer,” Maya cursed, “If we kill any of his underlings, he can just find replacements to fill the void.”

“Oh so like interns at Hyperion?” Gaige asked

“Well… that’s one way of putting it,” Lilith added.

“Yeah, definitely fitting. So who's next on the turn order?”

“That would be you, Axton”

“Alright, I'm gonna aim for one of the archers.” Then he rolled and slammed his head into the table as he saw the number. “Got a one.”

“Ooh, that’s… not good.” Tina grit her teeth.

Of course, around that time was when Gaige remembered something, “Hey, doesn’t Axton’s class have a proficiency bonus in Range Combat? How much would that be?”

Axton immediately perked up and quickly checked. “Phew, makes it into a 13 instead.” 

“You take aim at one of the archers and…” Tina then rolled another die, “The attack hits! But instead of you hitting their heart, the shot hits them in the shoulder instead. They’ll take damage, but not enough to kill them, hugga boo.”

“Who was next on the turn order?” Lilith asked, only to see Spike nervously raise a hand, “Alright, what was it that you wanted to do Spike?”

“Tina, how close are each of the enemies? Not close to us, but close to one another?” the dragon then asked, “Are they spread out or is that not the case?”

“The knights and squires are close together and are a few feet apart while the archers are farther back and closer to the big butt in charge.”

When the young alicorn told him that, Spike got an idea as he looked over to Lilith. “I’m going to roll to infuse Lilith’s fire magic. If we can get a good roll, then we can hit every enemy with a well placed fireball.”

“A bullet might have a name on it, but a fireball is addressed ‘To whom it may concern’,” Lilith grinned, “I like the sound of that.”

“HELL YEAH LITTLE BUDDY!” Brick shouted out.

“Time to mop up some of them.”

With that in mind, Spike rolled his die and Lilith rolled hers. After being able to successfully enhance her abilities, Lilith’s roll for the fireball, as Tina would put it, was a critical success.

“Your one-two combo was a success! Not only was it able to take down the knights, but the archers were caught in the blast. Leaving their commander as the final one to face,” Tina spoke, before changing her voice to match the final character on the field, “H-how dare you!! I’m one of our order’s Holy Templars! Hand picked by the Sorcerer himself!! I will not let some adventurer filth best me!! I will purge all of you and that traitor from these woods, even if it costs me my life!!”

“Here he comes!! Get ready!!”

Then, Tina changed back to her narrator voice, “With a swing of his hammer, the Templar’s weapon is now coated all over with lightning! One false move and your shields might be enough to protect you from him!”

“Alright, who's next to deal with him or is it the big bads turn right now?” Axton asked to confirm.

“If I’m reading this correctly… Starlight’s next!”

M-Me already?” the unicorn spoke, surprised that it was her turn all of a sudden.

“Alright, so what are you going to do to end this fight?” Roland spoke out in curiosity. 

“W-Well, it looks like they’re preparing something big,” Starlight stuttered, “D-does my character have anything d-defensive?”

“Well with what your class is I would think so, or you could try and disrupt him in some way?” Axton brought up. “So try to just think of that.”

That had the unicorn think for a moment, before looking back to the character sheet she had, before her eyes darted towards something, “Huh… So, I have an ability here called Stellar Warding… Grants a defensive shield to reduce the damage of incoming attacks-”

“Yeah, but that would only be for you, bucko-”

“But what if everypony else got behind me?”

That had Tina pause, before picking up Starlight’s character sheet with her magic and then handing it back. “That’s… a valid point. Though, the boss’ next move is coming up fast…” Then, an idea came to the young bunker master, “I’ll allow it… but everybody else needs to roll a dexterity check to see if they can get behind your warding in time! So roll them dice!!”

“Alright. I got a 15.”

“17 FOR ME!”

“13!”

“14 for me.”

“... I got an 8” Gaige huffed in disappointment. “Well, this is going to suck.”

“As you all scramble to safety, the mechromancer loses her footing and falls to the ground as the templar unleashed a powerful thunder smash!” Tina proclaimed, “While most of you are safe and unharmed, the mechromancer has not only taken damage, but is also paralyzed!!”

“GOTTA GIVE HER SOME COVER!”

“She was already hit though.”

“I think he meant to give her time to recover or something along those lines.” Roland said in defense of Brick.

“Well maybe one of us can get her out of the paralyze?”  

“Do any of you have curatives for that?”

The question was met by silence.

“I think that answers that, so… beat up the bad guy?” Axton asked after a minute of silence.

That was one possibility, before it appeared that Maya had an idea. “Is there a helmet on the last guy’s head?”

“Roll for perception.”

Maya took the 20 sided die and rolled, only to be caught off guard by the results. “19”

“Despite the amount of bulking armor around the rest of its body, the head doesn’t appear to be protected. Whether they’re being brave or foolish nobody knows, but if you hit it with enough force, the possibility of staggering him could be likely.”

The siren then asked a much different question as he looked back towards Brick. “How heavy would Brick happen to be?”

“HEHE, I like your thinking slab. I’m pretty heavy.” Brick answered.

“What… are you doing?”

“Well, I was thinking that I could use my abilities to pick up Brick and throw him at this guy. I mean, he would qualify as ‘enough force’ right?”

“Are you sure about that?” Roland brought up.

“I think she's pretty sure.” Axton said.

“I’m definitely sure,” Maya assured them, “Now, what would I need to roll?”

“Well,” Tina said, before scratching her chin with one of her hooves, “Since you are using your abilities for it, you’ll need to roll an arcana check. Though, you really need a high score to-”

“Hah! 20, bitches!!”

That definitely surprised Tina, before looking to Brick, “And Brick will need to roll a strength check-”

“20!!”

“I think that does it?” Roland asked to confirm. Which had both Maya and Brick hoof-bump each other.

“HELL YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!”

“In an unforeseen instant, one of the brave sirens came up with an insane idea. Using their powers, they pick up Brick in their grass, before launching them towards the templar,” Tina described, moving her forelegs forward as if she was throwing a shotput, “Their foe was unable to prepare for such an attack and when Brick’s fists made contact, the templar exploded so violently that all of his armor (and their innards) were scattered everywhere!!”

“FATALITY!!” Gaige proclaimed.

“HAHA BRICK WINS!!”

“That is definitely one way to win a battle.” Axton said after calming down from a laughing fit. 

“I’m… not entirely sure what just happened, but I’m too relieved to even care about that right now,” Tina said in the voice of The Owl, “But we don’t have time to rest. Let’s hurry back to Flamerock Refuge. The White Knight’s going to want to hear what I have to say.”

“I’m all on board for that.” Mordecai said.

“Time to go back to base. Then to find out more about this story.”





One scene transition later…

“Welcome back, Adventurers. Glad to see that you’re all still in one piece” Tina replied in the voice of the white knight, before turning the miniature she had of the White Knight towards the one of the Owl, “And you must be the Owl. Gotta say, I did not expect for a defector to cause so much trouble for the Knights.”

“The same could be said for you,” The Owl told him, “Though, I think we don’t have much time to casually conversate.”

“You’re right there. So, what exactly is so important that you decided to defect from your order to warn us?”

“That’s a… pretty valid question. Why did she defect anyways?” Gaige asked.

“Hang on, shorty. I’m getting there,” Tina hushed the mechromancer, before looking back at the rest of the group and clearing her throat, “After the Assault that you led on the Dragon Keep to rescue your queen, most of the Handsome Sorcerer’s forces are in shambles. Yet, there are still some powerful figures that remain. One such figure is a wizard that is the surviving member of the Sorcerer’s Court… and from what I overheard, he has a plan in place to commence a ritual to bring the Handsome Sorcerer back from the dead… and if it’s not stop, many people in this kingdom will die as a result.”

“Well, sh*t. That's some pretty bad news and a valid reason to defect.” Axton said. “Do you know where the ritual is?”

“That’s the problem. It’s not set in one specific place, but in multiple,” Tina said, before motioning as if she took out what looked to be a crudely drawn map, before drawing a circle around it and placing five dots. Four along the perimeter in the circle and one in the center. When she connected the dots, the shape looked like an hourglass, “They plan to do a series of smaller rituals to kickstart the major one, with the dragon keep being the epicenter. What these mages plan to do is sacrifice a soul of a hero and all living things in the area at each location in order to restore the soul of the Sorcerer, before placing it in a body that the wizard is preparing. If they actually pull this off, countless lives will be lost at the sake of bringing back a madman.”

“So, how exactly are we going to stop it?” Maya asked, “Because otherwise, we’re screwed.”

“The first thing that you’re going to need is help. Because at each of these ritual sites, there is a prisoner there. One of the four heroes that took part in slaying the Handsome Sorcerer at the assault on dragon keep alongside the white knight. If we want to stop them, then our best bet is to rescue them from an ill fate.”

“So should we split up and take them on at the same time or one by one?”

“Yep, but first!” Tina said, out of character, “Let’s take a short break, get some snacks and all that shiz. Then we’ll come back and be heroes!!”

“Yeah, I could use a bit of a break. Rather not have my legs fall asleep on me,” Maya added

“Not gonna lie, This does seem like fun.” Roland added as he stretched.

“Oh it definitely is.” Brick said. “Now just imagine if you were a part of this?”

“Heh, it would probably be slightly more chaotic than it already is.”
> Chapter 24: Mistakes were made
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright, now that we had the chance to get up and get some snacks, who’s ready to pick up where we left off?” Tina asked, eager to continue their game of Bunkers and Badasses. After having the players rescue an important NPC and learning the plans of the BBEG (big bad evil guy), it was time to have the adventurers put a stop to it and a bullet in their head.

“Oh yeah, I'm rarin to go.” Axton said as he sat down.

“HELL YEAH, ASS KICKIN TIME!”

“Tina, it’s only been five minutes.” Lilith pointed out to the young teen, “Besides, Gaige isn’t back yet.”

“I think she is just making sure we are all ready before we continue.” Roland said.

“Says the guy who's not playing.” Maya snickered.

“Hey, no need to pick on the peanut gallery.” Axton said and Brick chuckled while Roland just rolled his eyes. Only a few minutes after he said that, Gaige returned and sat down back in her spot.

“Already, so who’s ready to reach out and punch face?”

“I’m always ready to punch some face!” 

“Heh, ready as ever.”

“Alright, Tina? Let’s keep going,” Lilith then spoke up as she looked back at the Bunker Master. As for Tina, she was rather eager to get started. 

“After the dramatic revelation by the Owl, the task of your party became crystal clear. In order to stop the remaining wizard from the Handsome Sorcerer’s court to bring said sorcerer back to life, your party must find a way to stop him. The Owl mentioned that at each ritual site, one of the original heroes who defeated the Handsome Sorcerer remains captive. However, what is still unclear is where these sites are located… and who is at each one. Your party still has a small amount of time before they set off. So, what do you do?”

“Alright bringing back now, should we split up and go to each one separately or each one together?” Axton asked, looking at the group.

“While it might be a timesaver, we don’t know where each one is at,” Maya reminded him, “Do you think we can ask the Owl about that?”

“You know, it can’t hurt to ask.” Axton then got in character and proceeded to ask the Owl. “So miss, can you tell us where the ritual sites are?” 

“Do you have a map I can use? It would be easier for me to draw out the locations rather than tell you.”

“Got one right here.” Axton then handed the map over. Tina took the map and then paused, before looking over to Spike once she noticed there were a few crayons over where she was.

“You wouldn’t object if I borrow your waxy plaything, right?”

“Tina!”

“What? It’s an honest question. Besides, I rather not have any ink stain the parchment, huggaboo.”

“Well its one way of marking things.”

“Whatever works for you Tina.” Brick simply said.

With that, Tina began to draw four different circles around the map in a Rhombus like shape. Each one though was located to the North, South, East and West of Flamerock refuge. “They wanted Flamerock to be used as the center for their ritual and have set up these sites. One is in a set of caves by the beach and another is in the forest by the former orc village. I’m still trying to figure out the other two, but if you can stop what’s going on at those two, then stopping them will be much easier.”

“Well, we have some locations to go to at least. Now which ones do we want to tackle?” Axton asked. “I want to go after the one in the former village.”

“The beach one is closer though,” Gaige pointed out, “Plus, wouldn’t it take a bit of time in order to travel to the forest compared to just going to the beach?”

“It would, but considering that it’s used to be a village, it could mean that there won’t be any resistance on top of what we might find there,” Lilith replied now, “After all, the beach is supposed to still have what was left of the skeletal army of the sorcerer, right?”

“I say the beach sounds like a nice time for relaxation and carnage.” Brick said, grinning to himself.

“And you don’t need your tuxedo shirt for it.” Mordecai remarked.

“HAHA, some fun, sun, and blood.”

“Well, I’ve been outvoted it seems, or is that the group going to the beach?” Axton commented.

“Guess so. Huggaboo.” Tina smirked

“Well, it happens I guess.” Axton just shrugged.

“Thats the spirit Slab!” Brick then slapped Axton on the back.

“Yeah, thanks.” Axton wheezed.

“Alright, let’s get going!”

“Time to go save the first of the four.” Axton said as he started heading towards the beach with the rest of the party. Though, when they got there, that was when the party noticed that there really weren't a lot of enemies around. If anything, the beach seemed completely empty.

“I got a bad feeling about this,” Lilith said to herself.

“Yeah, This just screams something is gonna happen.” Axton commented.

“Trap, definitely a trap.” Brick added.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Gaige tried to be optimistic, “Either way, let’s be careful.”

“Well, no point in dwelling on it, we have to go there anyway.” Axton said. With that, the party geared up for what lies ahead as they prepared their weapons, dice… and character sheets for what awaited them along the coast.

“Well, this is definitely not looking good.” Brick commented with how empty it still was as they walked.

“Rather… welcoming I would say,” Gaige let out a sigh, “I mean, seeing that there’s no skeletons yet gives you the impression that things are going to be fine.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Spike told her.

“Well, yet was the key word. So my guess is that the closer we get, that is where the monsters are.” Axton commented.

“Well look what I see up ahead.” Brick said as he noticed a lone skeleton. At first, it seemed like there was nothing to it. Though, as they got closer, the skeleton lifted their head.

‘STOP!’ Immediately, the whole party stopped, unsure of what to expect. That is, until the skeleton started talking again, ‘If you wish to cross the bridge of pain to the destination you seek, then you must answer me these questions three. Get one wrong and there will be consequences.’
“Uh what?” Axton simply said.

“Heh, sounds easy.” Brick announced. “I’ll go first.”

As Brick stepped up, the Skeleton then asked the first question, ‘WHAT… is your name?’

“My name is Brick.”

‘WHAT… is your quest?’

“To rescue the original heroes and stop the revival of the Handsome Sorcerer.”

‘WHAT… is your favorite color?’

“Simple, it’s blue.”

‘… Right then, off you go!’ Politely, the skeleton stepped out of the way and allowed for Brick to pass. Something that was surprising to most of the party.

“Well damn, if it’s that simple, we’ll be over there in a breeze,” Gaige added, “Who wants to go next?”

“You know what, sure, I’ll go next.” Axton said as he went forward.

‘STOP! If you wish to cross the bridge of pain to the destination you seek, then you must answer me these questions three. Get one wrong and-’

“I think he gets it, buddy,” Gaige interjected.

‘ … Very well. WHAT … is your name?’

“Robin.” Axton said the name of his character.

‘WHAT… is your quest?’

“To rescue the heroes and stop the Handsome Sorcerer.”

‘WHAT… is the rate of speed at which a Hyperion Jackhammer class battle cruiser will end up imploding upon itself!?!’

“It’s- wait I don’t know.” Axton was concerned at what would happen next.

Before he had the chance to react, Axton’s character was flinged up into the air before splashing into the waters of the ocean. A sight that caught everyone else, including those who were watching the game by surprise.

“Tina, I… don’t think you can just fling people’s characters like that.”

“Come on, Lily. Axton couldn’t answer the question. The skelly warned that there would be consequences for getting it wrong.”

“Yeah, but for something like that, wouldn’t you have them make a saving throw first?” Maya asked, “It would make a lot more sense that way, right?”

“Okay, fiiine. Axton, make a knowledge saving throw at disadvantage.”

“I don’t think a 9 is gonna cut it will it?” Axton commented.

“Nope.”

SPLASH!!

“So, whos next?” Axton commented with a sigh

“I can go,” Maya replied as she stepped forward.

‘STOP! If you wish to cross the bridge of pain to the destination you seek, then you must answer me these questions three. Get one wrong and there will be consequences.’

“I understand.”

‘WHAT… is your name?’

‘Asha’

“Ooh, sounds familiar. Alright,” Tina remarked, before continuing her narration ‘WHAT… is your quest?’

“To stop the revival of the Handsome Sorcerer.”

‘What… is your favorite color?’

“Blue… No, wait-!”

“Sorry Maya-papaya, can’t change your answer! Roll that knowledge save for me!”

“Um… I got a 13. Is that better than a nine?”

“Slightly, but no. You land in the water like Axton, but land closer to shore.”

SPLASH

“So, who’s next?”

That was when Spike raised a hand, “I’ll go.”

“Really Spikey boy? Alright then.”

Immediately, the skeleton did his same pending routine, but then proceeded to ask the same questions. In turn, Spike answered the first two correctly. Though, the third question was the one that threw everyone by surprise.

“What… are the different colors of species for dragons!?”

“Any particular kind of dragons? Elemental? Crystalline? Ancient?”

‘ … I don’t know that!!’

Next thing they knew, the group watched as a D20 die crashed into the ground and the skeleton was flinged into the ocean, where it drowned in the deep waters.

“Spike, how… did you do that?” the mechromancer asked.

“What? I’m a dragon and I’m a game master in my spare time. I should know these things.”

“That… makes sense, now that I think about it.” Starlight added.

“Well, it at least prevents us from having any of our party members drowning,” a now soaked Maya commented, “Speaking of which, has anyone seen Axton come to shore yet?”

“I’m getting there, It’s just taking a bit of time.” Axton commented as he just got back.

“Need some help drying off?”

“That would be appreciated.” Of course, this was followed by using a fire weapon to light a torch as the heat from it was the closest thing that they could get to drying him off without burning him alive.

“A little done around the edges but much better.”

“Hey, it’s either this or I’m setting you on fire,” Maya told him, “And I doubt that you would like the latter.”

“Just saying it as it is. But it is better than being soaked.” Axton shot back. “But other than that however, I believe it’s now a straight shot to the first location.”

Gaige didn’t know why, but she had a bad feeling that the commando spoke a bit too soon.





One boring walk later

“One word from any of you, and I will punch you… except Brick.” Axton said 

“I mean..” Roland started then stopped and smirked when he saw the look from Axton.

“You shot yourself in the foot there slab haha.” Brick commented.

“Do I even want to know what happened?” Spike now asked, which had Maya and Gaige look back at him with a confused glare, “No seriously, I just got back from grabbing a snack. What happened?”

“Axton forgot to check for traps and stepped on a knife.” Starlight replied.

“One time and I hate it.” Axton just said as his character had to lean on Brick to walk for a while.

“Well, it was your fault nonetheless.” Brick grinned.

“It only takes one time for people to remind him about it.” the mechromancer snickered, while keeping her distance from Axton.

“Ha ha, but anyway Tina how much longer we got until we reach the first location.”

“Funny you mention that,” the bunker master told them, “I want all of you to roll them dice!”

“Uh, why?” Spike asked.

“Perception checks. There is something nearby, but I want to see who notices it first.”

That was when Starlight rolled first and had a look at her stats, “Uh, 23?”

“Lets see… 21.” Axton said.

“24!” Brick announced.

Once the other players rolled their dice and gave off their numbers, Tina picked up where she left off, “Starlight, Axton, Brickety Brack. You three notice that there is a pillar of smoke rising in the distance, while also hearing what seems to be ominous chanting.”

“Well, I think that answers that.” Brick said

“Time to go and check it out.”

“Keep your weapons ready, just in case.”

“Alright now imma gonna go on ahead and scout it out for all of you.”

“If that’s the case, I need ya to roll a Stealth check for me.”

“Coming right up…. Got a 18.”

“Passed,” Tina told him with glee, “Carefully, you’re able to sneak through the passage ahead and in the distance, you can somewhat make out something. It appears to be a few figures in dark robes gathered around a huge bonfire.”

“Do you think it’s their ritual? Are we too late?” Starlight asked.

“Make a perception check and find out.”

“...... five.”

“From your position girl, you can’t see SHIT.”

“I’ll try again.” Axton said in her defense. “Uh, a 12 for me.”

“You try your best to discern anything, but aside from what sounds like a song in a language you don’t understand, you can’t understand SHIT.”

“Well i did my thing, who wants the next one?”

“I will roll.” Brick brought up and rolled his dice. “16 for me.”

“Doesn’t your character have a -2 to knowledge though?” Lilith asked, “I can see your character sheet from over here.”

“.... fine 14.”

“Passes, but barely…” Tina then replied, “Though, Brickety brack, I must ask. What are your language proficiencies? Because they’re not speaking normally by any means.”

“.... uh, save for common none.”

“So what do you plan on doing, Brick-?”

“Hey, I got an idea,” Gaige soon smirked as he looked back at Brick, “Since these guys look to be some of the Sorcerer’s former goons, why don’t we make this a contest?”

Almost everyone in the room looked at Gaige with a look of shock and horror on their face. However, to the slab king, he seemed rather intrigued by this proposal. “Go on.”

“We can have the rest of the party sneak around the sides of the camp while we go in from the front and cause a distraction. You and I can also keep track of how many we kill and see who gets the highest at the end of this,” the mechromancer told her, “If I win, you give me something in return. However… if you win, I can get you something you want. And if I remember correctly, you’ve been looking for some new ‘fancy clothes’.”

“You can’t be serious,” Starlight replied, only to look at Tina and see a rather eager and intrigued look on her face. “Oh dear…”

“YOU’RE ON, SLAB!!”

“Well shorties, seems like Bricky and Gaige are giving you a chance to go in while they cause a ruckus,” Tina told them, “Whatcha gonna do?”

“I'm content with watching this play out.” Axton then looked to the rest of the group. “How about the rest of you?”

"If this is the only way it's going to work," Maya sighed, before looking at Brick and Gaige, "You two better not be dead when we get back here."

“Hehe, oh don't worry, we won't be. Can’t say the same for the others.”

Before they could say anything else, the rest of the party heard the battle cries of both of their party members and the sounds of screams shortly afterwards.

“Yeah, how about we go and check on the hero while they have a blast?” Axton asked.

Spike and Starlight were quick to nod their heads as they had the rest of their group hurry over to where they believed the hero was being held. Yet, much to their surprise, they came across a rather different sight from what they were expecting.

“In the central tent at the back of the encampment, you hear what sounds like joyful chatter among colleagues. Something that seemed off considering everything that you encountered so far. Given how suspicious this sounds, what’s your next course of action?”

“I would say… go in with weapons at the ready?” Axton asked as he looked towards the rest of the group.

“I’ll make a perception check first,” Maya said before rolling the dice as she looked back at Tina, “Twelve?”

“You… can’t really seem to find anything out of the ordinary, despite being in hostile territory.”

“Then I go with Axton’s idea,” She replied.

“Everyone else on board with the plan?” When she heard no objections, that was when Tina replied back, “As you two go in, you soon find yourself inside the tent where there are two figures sitting in the middle drinking what appears to be herbal tea. There is a woman you do not recognize, but the other figure is an individual you clearly remember. It is Brick, the prettiest siren across the land and one of the four heroes who helped slain the Handsome Sorcerer. Of course, her first reaction to you isn’t quite so… welcoming.”

At that point, the teenaged alicorn began to do her best impression of Maya… almost, “Who are you and what the hell are you doing, shorty?”

Which left the actual Maya to sigh, “Oh god, why do I feel like we made a bad choice?”

“Are… you one of the heroes?” Spike now spoke up, “W-we thought you were-”

“What? That I got captured and I need a strong and heroic savior to rescue me? No, no, everything’s cool here girl,” Tina replied back, “In fact, these people saved my ass. They’re part of the Oracles, the rebellion group against those dumbass wizards that want to bring back the Handsome Sorcerer.”

“At this point, the woman next to Brick (the siren) turns back to you,” she replied, “Where are my people responsible for putting up the protection enchantments for our encampment? They should’ve informed me of your arrival.”

At the same time, both Gaige and Brick said exactly the same thing, “Oh shit.”




> Chapter 25: Down the Rabbit Hole
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You… did WHAT!?!”

“Great job, you two,” Maya groaned sarcastically as she looked at Gaige and Brick, “I’m getting shouted at by a teenager pretending to be an older version of me.”

“Hey, in our defense no one stopped us.” Brick simply stated.

“If anything, I thought that Gaige would at least have some self restraint,” Starlight added.

“Well sorry for failing to meet your expectations,” Gaige rolled her eyes. “We didn’t know that they were the good guys until it was too late.”

“Look all of us are at fault for some reason or another… besides the more important question is what exactly is going on?” Axton brought up.

“Well despite all that, I think I won the contest.” Brick said smugly.

“And because you won that ‘contest’, you killed the ones responsible for the camps defenses!” Tina shot back, doing her best to stay in character, “They were the only things keeping those bastards at bay and you uprooted them like trees in a forest!”

“Well excuse me, I didn’t know in the first place.” Brick responded.

“Ok besides that, can we please try and find out why you are in this current situation?” Axton said to try and bring the conversation back on track.

“Apparently, we ended up murdering the people responsible for keeping the camp safe… Why do I have the strangest case of Deja Vu?”

“Ok, so we can still put a stop to the others in time, right?”

“That you can,” Brick the siren (portrayed by Tina) replied, “However, we’re going to need replacements for those you killed. If I am even thinking of letting you step one foot outside the camp, I need the two people responsible for this mess to stay here and take their place as guards.”

“Honestly, I think they are the best guards.”

“But I would miss out on the action.” Brick brought up.

“Yeah, but unfortunately you were one part of this mess.” Axton retorted.

“Guess we’re stuck in the same boat,” Gaige grumbled.

“You reap what you sow I guess.” Roland commented.

“I don't need the backseater telling me.” Brick grumbled.

“Hey, hey! Let’s not bicker about the little things here.” Maya replied, “If anything, Tina could’ve done a lot worse and spared you from that fate”

“Fair enough.” Brick just shrugged.

“Maya’s right,” Spike added, “We don’t have much time, so the sooner we get this done, the quicker we can come back for you.”

“Alright, off to the next location it is.” Axton brought up.

“Don’t have too much fun without us.” 

“Oh trust me, you won’t be heading too far,” Tina spoke as the resistance leader, “You’re going to be heading to Bloodshriek Cove farther down along the edge of the coast. Word from some of our scouts claim that one of the Sorcerer’s followers is trying to conscript the Merfolk into their cause… by force if they have too. Hope you aren’t afraid of getting wet.”

“A trip underwater sounds fun… I think.”

“We’ll inform you with details on the way. I’ll mark where you’re headed along your map.” Tina monologued, before drawing a big circle around the northeast coastline using one of the crayons that was on the table. “Alright, so Gaige and Bricky stay behind. Rest of the party, go forth!”

“I think you guys might have a decent challenge ahead of yourselves.” Roland commented 

“Yeah I’m just going to wait until we actually get there.” Axton simply replied.

“Don’t be so sure, Axton. Who knows what we’ll see along the way.”

“Fair enough.” Axton relented. “We can either breeze right through or find ourselves in combat and whatnot.”

“We should be careful and observe first, before doing anything rash.” Lilith added, “God knows what would happen if we went in without preparation.”





“So Lilith… what was that about Preparation again?” Axton brought up as they made their way to the next location.

“Well, we’re going into unfamiliar territory and our party got split, so we should try to be cautious.” the siren advised.

“Yeah, that is a fair point.” Axton just shrugged. “Just saying we shouldn’t go overboard with it.”

“Would you like to explain to Roland what happened if we end up getting one of the heroes killed then?”

“She does have a point, Axton.” Roland said.

“All I’m saying is, there is a point where having too much… ok nevermind.” Axton began but stopped from the look Lilith was giving him.

“As you get closer, you begin to make out a better view of the coastline. Outside of all the doom and gloom as well as the scent of murder, things seem sort of nice.”

“Sort of?”

“Roll a perception check.”

“Ok, I think I got this…” Axton stopped what he was saying. “Got myself a 5.”

“Isn’t your class meant more for that kinda stuff?” Roland added.

“Tell that to the dice.” Axton replied in monotone.

“Despite being in what you could say hostile territory, things look relatively normal,” Tina replied, “Perhaps even peaceful.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“Yeah, I’m not a fan of how this is going right now.”

“Blame the dice, it’s dictating our fate right now,” Maya groaned.

“Damn straight.”

“Why don’t I give it a try?” Starlight replied, before rolling the dice on her side of the table, “Uh, 13?”

“While it might feel peaceful, you in particular can’t help but feel as if something’s amiss,” the bunker master now replied, “You notice an entrance to what looks like some kind of camp in the far distance. However, there aren’t any guards. Mayhaps they were changing shifts?”

“Or got called in because something’s happening,” the unicorn grumbled, “Okay, I relay that to everyone else so they’re on the same page as I am.”

“Alright, so maybe the guards are distracted elsewhere, so attempt to sneak in this time?” Axton brought up.

“Now sure if that’s really our strong suit,” Lilith replied back, “Anyone got any other ideas?”

“I think I might,” Spike replied, “It says here under my abilities that I have something called ‘Charm Creature’.”

“Isn’t that a spell that Bard’s would have or something?”

“Well, technically, charming a creature is kind of like enchantment,” Tina replied, “Hey, don’t look at me, I don’t write the sourcebooks. I’m just the Bunker Master.”

“True, that is a good option.” Axton thought for a moment. “Other than that, anyone else?”

The room was filled with silence and some of the players and onlookers only gave mere shrugs to Axton’s question.

“Alright, so little man your time to shine here.” Axton said to encourage Spike. To which, the dragon nodded as he looked back towards the others, before having his character step forth towards the guards.

“As you approach, one of the guards points their spear at you and says ‘Hhhhhaaaallllttt, sssshorewalker! You aren’t wwwwwelcome on sssacred ground-’.”

At this, Spike looked towards Tina, “Is the other guard doing the same thing?”

“Nope, he’s just watching you.”

“Alright, what I’m going to do is take a bow and say ‘Oh, my apologies, I didn’t know this was your territory’,” the dragon replied, “And as I bow, that’s when I cast Charm Creature.”

“What’s the DC on that?”

“Hmm, I think it’s 15?”

Immediately, Tina rolls the die… and even she was surprised by the roll she got. “That’s a 14 huggaboo, he fails. So, as you are speaking and the other guard is right about to get aggressive, his homie is like ‘Come on, bbbbuddy, let’s hear hhhim out. Besides, if wwwwe finish this sooner, then we can go celebrate your hatching-day’.”

“Hatching-day? Like what, his birthday?”

“To quote a certain stallion at Sweet Apple Acres… Eeeeyuuup.” Tina mimicked Big Macintosh, before looking to Spike, “The other guard now loosens up a bit and then looks to you. ‘Wwwwwhat bbbbrings you here to our ccccove’?”

At this, Spike had a new question for Tina, “Since I’m a siren, are the markings I have rather visible?”

“You can say that.”

“Alright,” the dragon replied, “I’m gonna have them light up a bit and then say ‘I’m a traveling fortune teller. I heard that some back luck had come this way, so I was hoping to see if I can turn things around.”

“Roll a deception check.”

“… 13?”

“The guard you charmed believes you, but the other one looks away for a moment and see’s the rest of your party. ‘Iiiif you are wwwwhat you cccclaim to be, tttthen why do you travel wwwwith such provocative sssshorewalkers’?”

“They’re some mercenaries I hired. Protection is something you can’t be too sure about out here, especially with talk of the Handsome Sorcerer’s men causing trouble everywhere you go.”

“ … Roll a deception check again, but at advantage since… well, the rest of your party kind of accurately fits the bill with your description.” Tina said.

“No need, I just rolled a Nat 20.”

“Damn. Little’s guys carrying the entire party on his back at this rate,” Maya smirked.

“Hey as long as it's working, it's fine by me.” Axton said.

“The guard you charmed looks back to the other and then tells him ‘Wwwwell, it is Harold’s hhhhatching day. A Ffffortune Teller might help rrrraise his spirits’.”

“Hatching day?”

“It’s the merfolk version of someone’s birthday.” Tina added.

“I see, as long as it works.”

“The guard leads you into the village as you see what looks to be a rather normal looking abode for the most part. Though, there are some structures in the far distance that looked to be in the far distance. After a couple of minutes, he then says ‘Our Oracle says you can frrrrreeely walk around, as llllllong as you don’t cause any trouble’. You are now allowed to look around and figure out your next course of action. What would you like to do?”

“Hmm, well taking a look can’t hurt so that’s what i'm going to do.” Axton said. “I mean, may or may not be lucky in finding some things.”

“You could roll an investigation check if you want to test that theory, Axy.”

“Alright, coming up.” Axton then sighed. “Got a 15 there.”

That had Tina scratch her chin for a moment as she looked around the room, before something came to mind, “While you walk through town, you notice a couple of things. First, a lot of the other merfolk in town are… rather shocked by your presence. Not like they haven’t seen your kind before, but more like they haven’t seen your kind freely walking around. Second, with the structure in the far distance, you can see quite a few guards heading over there. Mayhaps it’s because they’re late to their shift, or because they didn’t expect your arrival. However, it’s hard to really tell for sure.”

“Well I mean we do stand out.” Axton then looked to the rest of the group. “Ok so I got my information, as best as I could, anyone else?”

“Has anyone tried talking to the locals, or are they all just don’t trust us?” Maya asked.

“You can roll Perception and find out.”

“13, plus the proficiency bonus… 16.”

“It’s not the fact that they don’t trust you… it’s the fact that whoever came here before left a lasting impression on them… and not exactly a good one.”

Maya couldn’t help but grit her teeth as she looked at the rest of the party, “Well, that could either be a good thing or a bad thing and I’m not sure which-”

“Wait a second,” they now heard Mordecai speak, “There’s something I have in here called… Primal Sight? Allows me to see through the eyes of my animal companion for a short duration? Would it be possible to have my animal companion just go on ahead and I can see what they see?”

There were a few murmurs around the table after that was suggested. Though, it didn’t seem like Tina had a problem with it. In fact, she encouraged it. “I’ll allow it. Though… remind me what your companion is?”

“It’s a gray hawk, you helped pick that out.”

“Ah, alright. If that’s the case, roll stealth at advantage.”

“... First one’s a 7… and the second is 18.”

“While your companion looks like they’ve had one too many ales at Moxxi’s before they left… sorry if that stings a bit, they’re seeing their hawk from their eyes as they close in to the keep,” Tina replied, “Now, a quick question. Do any of you have language proficiencies or translation spells?”

“Well, I definitely have a few language proficiencies due to my class.” Axton brought up. “Never hurts to learn more than one language.”

“I think seduction and speaking their language are two separate things, Ax.” Gaige snickered.

“Ok, just because I can do that out of character does not mean I can do it in character.”

“Are you sure about that?” Roland brought up.

“... Shut it.”

“Haha, shot yourself in the foot again Slab.” Brick said with a smirk.

“Look, ok I just did it on the off chance something might be brought up.” Axton tried to defend himself, but failed.

“Would anyone actually bring it up?” Lilith asked, before turning her head to see that a few other vault hunters and some of the ponies that were watching shook their heads. “Thought so.”

“Anyways,” Tina quickly spoke up to bring the conversation back on track, “Those language proficiencies?”

“Alright, Let see here we got… Do you want the whole list or do you just want to look?” Axton deadpanned as he remembered the list. “I may have gone a bit overboard.”

“Really?” Roland just shook his head at that notion. 

“Hey, I had far more spare points for language than I thought ok.”

“I thought languages were linked to traits? What did your character do in their spare time? Take classes on the ECHOnet in foreign languages? That sounds like something a bored wizard would do in their spare time.”

Axton looked over his backstory again to remember. “Well you never know whom you would run into who might need your work style. But also yes.”

“MOVING ON,” Tina interjected, “Are any of those language proficiencies Nagaen or Abyssal?”

“Hmm. I do have Abyssal at least.” Axton managed to bring it up after a little bit of time.

“Hmm… what I’ll say is that over the course of your earlier investigation, you heard a particular name that was spoken. However, when it is mentioned, it’s treated as taboo. Like the mere mention of it or doing something for them would forever doom them…” Tina replied, “Roll a worship check for me.”

“Alright coming up.” Axton then let out a sigh. “How’s a 16 sound?”

“Out of everything you hear, one name stands out. Dry’l. Rumored to be a voidgod of the deep that’s responsible for sinking any fearless ships that would go without a blessing-”

“I KNEW IT!! I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD’VE BLEW UP THE F@$#ING OCEAN!!”

“Torgue, how the hell did you-?” Gaige asked.

“I WAS WANTING TO CHECK IN ON YOU, ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT YOU’RE DOING BUNKERS AND BADASSES WITHOUT ME!!! THIS F@$#ING SUCKS!!”

“It’s okay Torgue baby,” Tina interjected, “Once I get back, I’ll take some time to help you set up your character, alright? I already got some ideas cooking up in my brain for this, homie.”

“ALRIGHT, TINA!! I WAS THINKING OF THIS MULTICLASSING S**T OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED! SOMEONE THAT CAN DO GUITAR SOLOS AND EXPLOSIONS!!” Mr. Torgue hollorered over Tina’s ECHO device, before immediately going into a guitar solo, “MAOW OWW NAOW NAOW NAOW NAOWWWWW! I KNOW YOU CAN COME UP WITH SOMETHING THAT BADASS!!”

“Huh, I almost feel like that might actually happen.” Roland said more to himself.

“Well, who knows? Maybe he’s just going to use Magic Missile on the ocean .” Axton shrugged.

“So, as I was saying… you heard a name, said to be a rumored scary voidgod… some of the folk here are kind of afraid of it.” Tina repeated

“Well that is definitely something to look into. Might be able to find out what may be happening here.” Axton took a moment to think. “Though if it might be what i’m thinking, this could go either a weird way or a bad way.”

“That and the naga here are afraid of it.” Starlight remarked

“Personally, I call them the Coiled,” Lilith shrugged her shoulders, “When I think of Naga, I think more of something with the body of a human with the legs of a serpent. These guys are just like snakes, but with arms and the ability to understand us.

“I… you know what, girl, you make a good point. Going to keep that in mind for a future campaign,” Tina pointed out. “Anyways though, Axton, now that you know this information, what do you do?”

“Alright, gonna let the others know and see what options we can take.”

“Very well,” Tina replied, “So, before he does that, what were the rest of you doing?”

“I guess just looking around? We know that Mordi and Axton were doing their thing, but I think we were just waiting for them.” Spike replied.

“I believe we are now all finished on our end, so lets see what you guys found.”

“Not much, from how things seem to be going,” Spike replied, “If anything, you guys are finding out more than us. And I am seen as a birthday entertainer.”

“Good point, but then again, that was the main reason we got in here in the first place.” Axton then rubbed his chin. “Maybe be discrete on how we go about asking about this voidgod?”

“Yeah, I’m with you guys on that one,” Gaige agreed.

“As you guys are going about your business, some of the Coiled guards you saw earlier return to see you. “Forrrrrgive our intrusion, but ourrrrr Oracle wishes to speak with you…” And at this point, we’re gonna take a break! Mama needs to refresh on her BRAINJUICE for what’s gonna come up next!!”

“Oh boy, but yeah I think a break is in order for now.” Roland said as he got up and stretched.

“What are you talking about, you’re not the one who has to roleplay.” Axton shot back.

“True, but I’m still here watching.”

"Yeah, I think I need to stretch my legs after all that," Gaige added, "That whole scene left me in suspense." With that, the mechromancer got up and left the room. However, what she didn’t do was check her ECHO device. For a new message had been sent while they were playing their game.

“Do not let your guard down. One of your allies is a traitor… and another will be framed.”
> Chapter 26: A Twist of the Knife
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright, is everyone back now?” Tina asked. It had been nearly five to ten minutes since everyone had agreed to call for a break. However, not everyone seemed to be back just yet in order for them to pick up right where they left off. While Axton had come back and joined everypony else, Gaige and Roland had yet to return.

“Not quite,” Maya replied. “Not sure what’s taking them so long honestly.”

“Maybe they needed a snack or something?”

“Doubt it, huggaboo! We got all the snacks here! It’s a snack kingdom up in here!” Tina declared.

“Well, we could have somepony go look for them,” Spike suggested, “I mean, we can’t go on without Gaige and it would be rude to continue without her.”

“I can find them real quick if you like.” Brick said as he got up to go and ‘find’ them.

“Yeah I think being carried around like a sack of potatoes once was enough thank you.” Roland announced shortly after that statement. “Also Gaige should be here shortly, I just needed to stretch for a bit.”

“It takes you five minutes to stretch?” Lilith asked.

“Walk around and stretch.”

“Yeah, and I need five minutes to work on my turrets.” Axton rolled his eyes as he then got smacked by Brick.

“Slab, you sometimes take more than fifteen minutes to work on them.”

Roland just cocked an eyebrow at that comment. “Anything you want to say to that?”

“Maintenance.” Axton simply replied. 

“Sure it is,” all of them now heard Gaige as she walked into the room with them, “I have to do maintenance on both my arm and DT, and yet what you do happens to be longer than that.”

“I appreciate my ladies.” Axton said with confidence… only to hear multiple snickers in response. “Yeah whatever, we are all back and ready to continue this mess we got ourselves into?”

“Let’s.” the mechromancer added, before she looked over to the bunker master, “Take it away, Tina.”

“Hm? Oh yeah, right. Just give me a second. Gotta consult the badass tome first.”

“The… what?” Spike blinked.

“You know, the handbook that kind of goes on and tells you everything you can and can’t do?” Tina replied, “I know it’s seen as massively important, but I betcha there’s a few people here that don’t follow it because it sounds like something out of an Atlas instruction manual.”

“She’s kind of right about that,” Lilith replied as she glanced over at Roland.

“Oh yeah, there were a lot of things in there that made no sense when I was a recruit at the time. Wasn’t until after I left did I reread it that it made sense.” Roland just shrugged at that.

“Seriously?”

“What, even I had a track record for some things.” Roland looked knowingly at Axton.

“Huh, the more you know.” 

“Maybe you can learn a thing or two from him, Ax.” Maya snickered.

“Sure, let me just go rogue and then start my own militia. That would definitely go well.”

“Heh, Slab you might want to be careful what you say.” Brick announced.

“Yeah but that's because you just beat the sh*t out of yours anyway.” Axton just deadpanned.

“ANYWAYS!!” Tina loudly interjected, glancing over at the Equestrians in the room before looking back at the misfits that she saw as her family, “Last we left off, some of the guards said that the oracle of the village wants to speak with you. How do you respond?”

“I… don’t see anything wrong with that,” Starlight replied, “Maybe it can help us somehow. What do you guys think?”

“Right now, sounds like the best thing.” Axton agreed.

“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” Gaige shrugged, followed by similar motions from the rest of the players. 

“Well, the plan is set. Time to get moving.” Axton confirmed.

“Alright, so,” the young bunker master continued, “As you are led by the Coiled, and yes Lily I’m taking your idea and nobody can STOP ME! ... Ahem. As you are led to the oracle’s den, you find a lot of different items around the room. Some are recognizable by a few of you in that they are used in manners of Fortune Telling as well as Divination. As for the Oracle herself, she’s wearing the skull of that of an old sea monster on her head. Her outer scales match the color of the sea and… well, the inner scales look much like if you combined the color of Pinkie Winkie’s fur and have that in a lava lamp. As she turns to you, she says ‘Welcome, outssssiders. It has been sssome time since I ppproperly had guests. I am Ksara, the Oracle of our abode’.”

“… I don’t know whether I should be intimidated or flattered, if I have to be honest.” Lilith replied.

Of course, when no one had anything to say, Spike took it upon himself to speak, “Greetings, Ms. Ksara. I’m-”

“She raises a hand and with a motion of her head, the guard that were with you earlier leave and close the door,” Tina said, before getting into character, “‘There’s no nnnneed for deception here… I know wwwhy all of you have come here and wwwhat you seek. I can help you, but in turn, you mmmust help me’.”

That surprised everyone that was participating at the table. Yet, it was only Starlight that responded back in character, “Help? With what, exactly?”

“My sssisters, the fellow oracles, have gone mad. An outsider put the notion in their heads that by breaking Dry’l from his eternal ssslumber, they can exact revenge on the ssshorewalkers. Your people. Hhhowever, I fear that instead, Dry’l will end up dragging us all into the Abyss with him and undo everything that we’ve made here.”

“Can… I roll a religion check to get an idea as to how bad this guy is… Like outside of what we know already?” Gaige asked.

Tina herself had to ponder a bit at the thought, but after a minute, she looked back at the mechromancer, “I’ll allow it. But I would say that the DC that you need would be higher than Axton’s. So you need over a 16.”

“That includes any comprehension modifiers, right?” A nod from the Bunker Master was all that she needed to see, before she rolled the Dice, “23.”

“…  Okay,” Tina replied, “You have heard a lot of stories about the figure they mentioned. Dry’l, the one responsible for tearing down ships that aren’t blessed by bards and yade yade yada. BUT, you also remember that when the world was first formed, the gods… had a bit of a disagreement between one another. Dry’l was one of the gods who thought the world would be better off if the whole world started over. By flooding it all so that everything was a clean slate! As punishment for his retaliation, he was imprisoned by the other gods and chained in the deepest depths of the sea. Yet, his presence is felt by all who carelessly have their vessels maneuver through.”

“ … Oh shit.”

“Do you say that in character or out of game?”

“I think it's safe to say that it sounds like both.” Roland added from the side.

“Well that is something we should avoid if we can.” Axton added in character. “What exactly can we do to help?”

“My sssisters are hastily planning a rrritual to break Dry’l from his bonds at the request of this outsider I mentioned before. If you can ssstop them, we’ll all be in your debt.”

“Seems straightforward enough,” Mordecai remarked. “Where can we find them?”

“Innn the main temple, at the cccenter of the village.”

“Well, you heard her. Let’s go,” Gaige said with a small snicker, “Besides, if I’ve learned one thing from Axton, it’s to never keep a lady waiting.”

“Wow, Ax… you definitely have an influence on kids.”

“I don’t know if that should be an insult or a compliment.” 

“For your own sake, just let it slide for now.” Roland offered some advice only to receive a deadpan stare in return.

“Alright, so… main temple?” By that point, everyone nodded their head, “Okay, when you get there and attempt to enter, two guards block the door. Blades held together in an X pattern with their shields up. ‘Outssssiders, you cannot enter at this time. Our chiefs are receiving a guest right now-’.”

“Screw that noise,” Lilith interjected, “Brick, get them to move aside.”

“HAHA, time for the fist to arrive!” Brick began. “However, I'M STILL ON GUARD DUTY!!!” He then roared out, missing out on the adventure.

“Only been what… fifteen minutes and you already forgot that bit Lillith?” Axton brought up.

“Technically, aren’t they considered a threat to Spike since Brick is… well, guarding him?” Maya asked, “You know, self-defense?”

“Was that the same excuse you said with the Zafords and the Hodunks on their wedding day?”

“Oh those guys were assholes! Ellie was right. They deserved what was coming to them.”

“Oh yeah, a hundred percent.” Axton agreed. “That was totally deserved.”

“And to make a point with what Maya said,” Gaige added, “There is a difference between Self Defense and Aggravated Assault. So, we beating up some guards or what?”

“I mean, we can just say we have important business with the chiefs and if they don’t let us in things could take a bad turn?” Axton added. 

“So, the diplomatic route?” Spike asked. “I guess we can try it?”

“Anything’s on the table right now so whatever.” Brick just huffed out.

“Lets go with it for now.” Axton prompted.

At that, Spike nodded back and looked at Tina. After some monologuing about how they were not allowed inside, Spike tried to roll a persuasion check to get the guards to let them in. Unfortunately, the dice this time around wasn’t in his favor.

“Natural 1”

“ … So, with the way that you asked that request… not only are the guards staring you down, they also look like you just insulted their momma’s.”

“ … Uh oh.”

“F*CK IT, KILLING THEM BOTH!!” Axton just said.

“COWABUNGA IT IS!!”

“Okay, this is getting spicy! I love it!!” Tina cackled, “Go and make attack rolls, Axy and Gaige!”

“Comin right up.” Axton then looked at his dice. “Eh, 12.”

“Natural 20.”

“Okay… so Axton, your strike is something that the guard on the right can brush off… while for Gaige, this Coiled is so unprepared for you that the force of your strike blows his head off. The other one’s still left and is about to call the rest of the guard, what do you-

“I cast Chrono Grasp!” Maya added. “That guard needs to make a Reflexes save or is held in place.”

“What’s the DC?”

“16”

Meanwhile, as all of this was taking place, Applejack just looked over at her friends, “Does anypony else think that this kind of escalated a bit too fast?”

“That’s… usually how these games go if I remember correctly-” Dash added.

“14, they fail! Brick, Axton, one of you can now make an attack of opportunity at advantage!!”

“OH HELL YEAH NAT 20!”  Axton proclaimed.

“O-oh no…” Starlight shuddered in fear, realizing just how badly things were about to get violent.

“Axton, with help from mah girl Maya, you were able to strike with enough force to send this Coiled towards the door and explode on impact!! Boom!!” Tina declared, “Now, there’s a crack in the door that begins to grow where a key would normally be. Who wants to break this sucka open?!”

“Lilith, care to do the honors?” Axton asked.

“Well, that’s a first. Thought you’d want to steal the glory for yourself. Or is that how you got kicked out of DAHL?” Before Axton even had a retort, Lilith looked to Tina and rolled some dice, “I’ll blast the door open, let’s see… 18?”

“That hits! The rest of you watch as Lilith takes a hand and just BLASTS the doors into pieces. Now, inside are the oracles themselves… along with a peculiar menacing figure among them. Standing there… all… well, menacing and shiz.”

“That just screams bad.” Roland spoke up.

“Yeah, no really who could’ve guessed that.” Axton retorted. “So who wants to do the honors first?” Axton then just shrugged. “Eh screw it, I’m going to take aim at the menacing guy no firing just yet.”

“Well, it appears we have some… unexpected guests,” Tina began to speak, “At this point, you see the figure turn around. Part of their skin and face look deformed as they are speaking. Gaige, given your class, you would know that what’s happening is a side effect of overusing necrotic magics. ‘Tell me, what has you storming into this sacred temple? Are you trying to defile it with your own presence’?”

“ … You gotta be kidding me,” Maya facepalmed, almost as if she recognized what kind of voice Tina was trying to impersonate.

“Sound familiar to you?” Brick said.

“Hey Ax, remember that one guy who tried to ruin our hunting expedition with Hammerlock?”

“OH GOD, you just HAD to bring him back up.” Axton just let his hand slide down his face. “Until you brought that up, I honestly forgot about him.”

“Wanna explain?” Roland piped up.

“Ugh, some hyperion ‘big shot’ scientist was in the same area as our hunting trip. Long story short, fought his experiment and he ended up killing himself falling down some holo stairs.” 

“Basically a Handsome Jack fan boy who was trying to come up with some masterful plan to ‘keep his legacy alive’, but lacked the backbone to do so. Even though he had claimed to have poisoned Atlas’ CEO, he didn’t really have that many… achievements,” Gaige added. “Why do I get the feeling that-”

“As he’s speaking, all four of the oracles in the room start to look at you, ‘Not that much of a talkative sort I see? Well, enough! I will not have you interrupt this opportunity to revive the most handsome and evil spellcaster in the world! GET THEM!!’.”

“Ah shit-”

“ROLL FOR INITIATIVE, SUCKAS!!”

“Great, well I got myself a 11.” Axton sighed heavily as he rolled.

“15,” Maya commented, who was followed by Gaige and the rest of the party as they took their rolls.

“10,” Spike said,

“8,” Mordecai added.

“20,” Gaige added. “Who else-?”

“Uh… I got a 1” Starlight said nervously.

“12,” Brick put in.

“And now, we roll for the others,” Tina said as she chucked a hoof-ful of dice onto the table. “For the oracles… 13, 5, 19 and… 6. Now, for the suspicious looking guy… 13, but he’ll go second because of the coward trait on him.”

“Coward trait?” Maya asked, “That’s seems… fitting. How does that work?”

“It means that he’ll spend his bonus actions ordering any others that would be considered as his ‘underlings’. If all of them are either knocked out or dead, then it’ll mean he can’t rely on them to come to his defenses. Now, before we start,” It was at that point that Tina shoved basically anything that was once Twilight’s onto the floor as she slammed a scroll onto the table and rolled out a battle map. “Place your mini’s where you would have yourself as this is unfolding. Once you suckas are ready, then we can begin this partay!!”

“Alright, can’t wait to kick this off.” Axton said as he got into place.

“Me too. Finally get the chance to have some action!”

“Well you get to kick this off.” Brick said.

“Right. My turn’s simple,” Gaige replied, “Use my bonus action to summon Deathtrap and then… Gonna see if I can move closer to one of the oracles on the left and hit them… and that’s a 12.”

“Oof, that doesn’t hit.” Tina told her.

“Okay, uh… DT, follow up…” Gaige tried to roll some more dice. “Uh… 15?”

“Almost, but that doesn’t hit either.”

“Crap… uh, who’s next?”

Tina couldn’t help but smirk, “I’m glad you asked. It’s the oracle that you just tried attacking.”

Some of the color from the mechromancer’s face began to fade at the realization as she heard the dice roll. Enough for her to just say two words as not only did their attack connect, but hurt… like, a lot. “Well, buck… uh…”

“Chrono grasp them,” Maya reacted, “You know the drill. Reflexes save.”

“I do… and apparently, they don’t, for they just rolled a nat one.”

“Bonus action, Chrono Toss,” Maya smirked, before looking at the state of the board again, “So, our coward is shielding himself, is he? Well, maybe this will fix that. I want to throw the oracle at the coward to see if that does anything.”

That… looked to be something that Tina did not anticipate at all. For she had to not only consult the badass tome and reread a few pages, but it looked as if she was trying to contemplate this all in her head to see if such an idea was possible.

After a couple moments though, she had a hesitant reply. “I’ll… allow it. But I’m going to need you to make a focus check to see if you can pull it off. The DC’s rather high-”

“19”

“... Okay… Okay,” the bunker master said to herself with a similar expression to that of when she discovered that the chocolate chip cookies at Torgue’s Campaign of Carnage were actually oatmeal raisin. “So, with a 19, you do manage to throw them… and they do take damage for that. However, the barrier around them doesn’t exactly seem to break. It falters a little because of the unexpected move of you yeeting a coiled in their general direction, but not enough to break it.”

“Figures…”

“That does make the next oracle in the initiative order rather angry and they’re going to throw a spear at you. Reflexes save”

Maya could only shrug as she rolled the dice… but was not enthusiastic by the outcome. “Okay, so that’s a 6.”

“You stand tall… rather proud of your recent accomplishment… Only for you to feel the full force of a spear slashing against your upper arms as your accomplishment only served as a momentary distraction.” Tina said, “You take 10 piercing damage. Now, we have Brick next, with Axton and Spike on deck.”

“HELL YEAH, FACE PUNCHING TIME!!” Brick loudly announced as he looked over his skills. “Alright, let's try and hit the coward with a flaming fist strike.”

“Is it just an attack roll or does your target need to make a DC check, Bricky?” the bunker master asked him.

“Hmm,” Brick then looks it over. “At range it's a dc check, up close it's an attack roll. So in this case it would be a dex save.” 

“What’s the number for the save?”

“It would be an 18, my good Tina.” Brick announced.

“18?! Geez Louise, my guy!” After some dice were rolled, it looked like Tina was trying to contemplate to herself. Something that made all the Equestrian’s watching wonder if she was thinking… or somehow had fallen asleep. Yet, her next response was quick. “So, even with their bonuses, they only had a 17. What happens if they fail?”

“BOOYA FULL DAMAGE… damn I wish used this as a melee attack, could’ve maybe gotten a critical.” Brick then checked over his sheet and then rolled some dice. “Ok, going to be a total of 25 damage.”

“Woah, that… escalated quickly” Spike muttered.

“Ah told ya it was,” Applejack added.

“Well, Bricky, you can see that they took the full force of the attack… but even afterwards, they are still very much alive and kicking. They look to be in rather bad shape, but still very much alive and kicking. Axton, it is now your turn.”

“Going to hit them with a little thing called, paralyzing call.” Axton looked over his sheet closely to make sure he read it right. “Ok they all have to make a con save of 14, if they fail they lose their next turn and the first attack made against them is with advantage. I mean I could've had one of my beast’s do an attack against them if they failed but I felt that one would be better.”

“14?” Tina asked, followed by a dice roll, “They fail… so they’re going to use one of their legendary resistances to prevent that from happening. Nice try, but they have a few tricks up their… well… non-existent sleeves!”

“Hmm, welp I tried at least.” Axton shrugged.

“Was there something else you wanted to try and do? Since that would be your action for the turn.”

“Well, I'm going to be staying at range for now.” Axton then looked over his sheet again. “Hmm, are there any ledges nearby?” 

“There are a couple of them along the windows as well as a few pillars. However, the pillars have flaming torches.”

“Hmm, well that axes that plan then.” the commando grumbled.

“You still can move anywhere else as long as it’s within your movement speed,” Gaige casually reminded him as she pointed it out for him on his character sheet.

“That's the problem, I would need a vantage point to do what I need to do.” Axton just shrugged. “It is just something simple to do something nice.”

“So, we need to try and make one, if that’s possible?” Spike then asked.

“That could definitely help.” Axton nodded to Spike.

“Axy buddy… I still haven’t heard your decision yet~” Tina interrupted them as she sat in an expression that screamed ‘Get on with it!’

“I’ll just move towards the back of the group for now.” 

Tina nodded at that, before pointing over at the little dragon that was next in the initiative order. “Alright then, Spikey-Wikey. You’re next! Wow… now I see why she likes saying that.”

“What-?”

“NOTHING!!”

Spike just looked back at some of the other players, before looking back at the table. “Okay, so… First, do all of these Coiled look the same or are there differences between them?”

“Well, first, each one has a different headdress, obviously… Hmm,” the bunker master pondered, “The only other thing that’s noticeable is that each one has a different gem in the crown of the headdress. Interestingly enough, there’s also a similar gem on their weapons. But outside of shiny things, you can’t quite put two and two together just yet.”

“What are the colors?”

Tina blinked, before looking back at Spike, “Huh?”

“What colors are the gems?”

“Spike, care to share what you’re thinking?” Maya asked.

“I have an idea, but I needed to find out a few things,” the dragon told her, “Because I doubt what they’re wearing is something that’s… well, for show.”

It took a few moments, but it was shortly after the dragon said those words that one of the other party members realized something. This time, it was Mordecai. “Oh, I think I get it… You want to see if it relates to what they’re capable of?”

“Something like that,” the dragon replied as he turned away from the game for a brief moment, “You know how some of your actual weapons glow certain colors because they use different ‘elements’?”

Gaige was quick to catch on from that, “So, you think the priestess’ weapons are like our elemental weapons in the sense that the color of the gems represent the element?”

Spike nodded at the mechromancer, and then looked back to Tina, “Tina, what are the colors?”

“So, one’s green, One’s a dark red, one is a cold white and the other is an azure blue.”

“If that’s the case, I want to use one of the abilities for a Enchantress Siren called ‘Convince Creature’,” He said, while reading the description on the sheet, “Says here that ‘You make a motion towards a target creature, where they are forced to make a DC Comprehension Save. If they fail the save, they use their next action to do a command against their will that I choose. However, since I don’t know what their abilities are, it is a… what’s the word?”

“Gamble?” Gaige asked.

“Yes, that.”

“Damn little man, go for it.” Roland spoke from the sides.

Now, Tina looked like she was sweating bullets, “A-and what’s the DC?”

“15.”

“Hey Tina, what’s going to happen now?” Brick decided to ask.

“That…” She rolls again, “Is a 14… and doesn’t have a legendary resistance for that. Which one were you targeting with this-?”

“The third one you mentioned. The cold white one…” Spike said, “And as I do, I tell everyone else to back up because I’m having it attack the Coiled that’s closest to everyone.”

At first, there was a look of uncertainty… but then it was immediately replaced by a look of joy. “Okay… Okay… So, everyone roll me a reflexes save.”

“That’ll be a 15 from me.” Brick said.

“19.” Axton followed up.

“14” Maya added.

“8” Gaige admitted, even though she wasn’t entirely thrilled by it,

“17” Spike followed up, before looking over at Starlight and Mordecai

“13”

“Also 13”

“ … I got a 2” Maya said.

“Oof, okay… so anyone that’s a thirteen or above passes,” the Bunker Master says, “You watch as the one that Spike was focused on turns to the one closest to the party and immediately unleashes a glacial wave of ice magic towards all of you. Gaige and Maya, both of you take…” Tina then took a hoof-ful of dice and threw it onto the table, almost knocking some of the figures, “20 points of frost damage.”

“Holy f*ck, that almost killed me!” Gaige cursed. “Seriously, I have like… three hit points left!!”

“Now that’s a lot of damage!” Brick announced.

“Didn’t you do more though?”

“I know what I said.”

“On the plus side, Axton has… some sort of a ledge to hop onto, right?” Starlight spoke up.

“I believe so, right little man?” Axton asked Spike.

“I guess so,” Spike said, “For a bonus action, I will cast ‘calming word’ to try and heal some of Gaige’s health.” He took a pair of d4’s and rolled them onto the table. “That’s a 4”

“Yeah, that helps… but it feels more like a gentle pat on the back since I’m… at 7 hp.”

“So… Mordy’s turn?” Tina asked.

“Simple. Ready an action to where if any of them get close to me, I use suppressive fire. That's it.”

“Okay… so, since one of the two Coiled have already done their thing, the other one is… let me see here…” Tina began to flip through the pages of her tome, “Ah yes. They’ll slowly levitate in the air and channel the power through their staff as you watch some of the injuries on the other Coiled slowly beginning to mend. Not completely heal them, but slowly recover.”

That just led to a facepalm from Gaige as she let out a sigh, “Okay, that’s going to get annoying real quick. Kill that one first, please!”

“I agree completely, get rid of the heals and we are going to pummel the big bad here.” Axton prompted.

“Okay,” Tina said as her eyes shifted to the last creature in the lineup… who just happened to roll a natural one during the initiative roll, “Starry Light, what about you-?”


“Uh, for my turn, I’ll just… move to cover and ready myself to fire if any of them get too close.”

“Huh… not too exciting, but I dig it. Round 2, suckas!!”

From there, it was back to the top of the order as Gaige ordered Deathtrap to focus their strikes on the ‘healbot’ oracle while she tried to attack it with her own weapons. Out of both attempts, only DeathTrap’s attacks hit as her shots missed completely. Yet, DT was fortunate to trigger a bleed effect from their claws, which kind of gave some of the other players an idea. However the oracle that Maya had thrown into the wall was not happy with having one of their sisters getting ganged up on as she tried to get the construct away from her sister.

That in turn had the siren take a shot to poison the attacking Oracle. Which in turn was a critical success and forced the Coiled to think twice. Which put Brick to be the next one to strike.

“Alright, let's rush the one that got out of the wall.” Brick did a quick double check on his sheet. “Ok, I'm going to hit it with a concussive blow.”

“Roll to attack”

“Alright… hows a 15 sound?”

“Oof… It just matches its armor class,” Tina said, before dramatically acting it out in theater, “You go to try and smack it, but your fist hits its trident as it’s trying to force itself back up… Because of this, we’re going to do a contested valor check. If you win, you will break their defense and get an extra attack. If not… well, we’ll see what happens. Go ahead and ROLL THEM DICE!”

“Hmm, alright you’re on.” Brick got focused on his dice and smashed it onto the table.

“Uh… here use some of mine Brick.” Axton just weakly said.

“Heh, thanks Slab.” As he then rolled the dice. “20!!”

Tina’s face went from a horrified expression… to a not so horrified one after her dice roll. “So, they rolled a nat 20 as well. What’s your Valor modifier?”

“Hmm, it's a 4.”

“And this one has a… plus 2. So that means, you barely beat the contested Valor check,” Tina said, before making the motion as if she was holding a weapon and attempting to stab Brick in the shoulder, “For a moment, you think that this Coiled would be successful. However, you were able to successfully move one of your hands to hit the underside of the Coiled’s ribcage and force it to backoff. Go ahead and roll the damage for it.”

“Alright, damage coming up.” Brick had to make sure he read the right attack before he rolled. “That will be 16.”

Tina’s face twitched a little at that, “A strong hit. Still standing, but a bit bloodied. Axton, it’s your turn now.”

“Alright, time for an arrow rain on the enemies.” Axton stated. “They have to make a dex save of 12 to take half damage.”

“All of them?” Spike now asked, “Because wouldn’t that also hurt allies too?”

“It would, but I do have an ability specifically for this that I have to skip my next turn to not hit any allies with it.” Axton just shrugged. “So while I will lose my next turn I won't hit any of you.”

I personally wouldn’t mind a fun game of Arrow Roulette,” Gaige chuckled, while Tina began to roll the dice.

“Okay, two of them make the save… Two of them don’t… and one of them just so happens to be the one fighting Brick.”

“Alright, damage coming right up.” Axton then got the rolls needed. “Alright, full damage is 12, half is 6.”

“The Coiled that Brick is fighting is almost down.”

“Damn, almost gottem.” Axton grumbled.

“Okay, so now it’s Spike’s turn.”

That just gave Spike an idea, “If I still have the other Coiled under my control, I want to throw its trident at the one Brick’s fighting.”

“Bident, actually.”

Now Gaige just looked at Tina, a bit puzzled. “What’s the difference?”

“Trident has three pointy bits, Bident has two,” the bunker master corrected as she rolled some more dice. “And this time, she actually passes, so it doesn’t work.”

That left the dragon with very few ideas on how to overcome what’s going on… so, with no other options, he just went for the first thing that came to mind, “You know what, I’ll just pick up a rock and throw it. Let’s see what happens.”

“O… kay, be sure to add your reflexes save-”

“No need. Nat 20.”

“ … So, one of the evil Coiled priestess’ is no more… by taking a stone to the head,” she added, “Following that, you hear the suspicious looking guy call out and say ‘Oh, come on! A rock!? Seriously?! All of you are known for your prowess in battle and you die to a pebble!? That’s as embarrassing as snapping your neck when falling down a set of stairs’!”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black right there.” Axton responded.

“Heh. Not even a bard and Axton’s using Vicious Mockery,” Maya chuckled.

“Oh damn, should’ve multi-classed then.”

“Something tells me he put too many points in Ego, because he’s showing it,” Tina now snickered, “Anyways, was there anything else you wanted to do Spike?”

“Probably back up a bit, so I can put some distance between me and any other Coiled that wants to hurt me after that. Though, could I roll perception while I’m at it?”

“You can. Anything in particular?”

“Just to be aware of my surroundings,” Spike said as he rolled the dice again. “... You gotta be kidding me. Another nat 20!”

“Okay, how?” Starlight blinked, “You know what, nevermind.”

“For a total of?”

“23”

“ … So, one thing that you happen to notice is that not only is the protection spell around the suspicious guy starting to break, but you also notice that something is beginning to come loose from the ceiling. You weren’t able to notice it earlier, but now that you have a better look, you can see a dangling chandelier.”

“Something to use, and cause a bit of a problem for them.” Axton pointed out.

“If we can hit something that high, you mean.”

“...Maybe I shouldn’t have used that skill then.” Axton then realized.

“If I remember correctly, Mordy’s next.”

“I’m holding my action,” the hunter replied, “I think I can hit it from where I’m standing. But…”

“But what?”

“It would be easier to do this if whatever’s protecting it is gone.”

“Fair enough.” Maya retorted. “We know the drill team. Let’s get to work. If the Oracles are related to the barrier, then let’s eliminate them quickly.”

“Good to know we have a solid target to get to.” Axton said.

“So, just punch everything then?” Brick asked, then got nods in response. “HELL YEAH!!”

“Why do I have the feeling that we might be here a while?” Starlight asked.






Three rounds of combat later…







“Ok, how the f*ck is this guy STILL AROUND?!?” Axton asked as the main bad guy was left after a while.

“Squirrely little sh*t.” Brick grumbled. 

“Hey we did get rid of the others but this guy is about ready to run away or something.”

At that point, Mordecai just let out a sigh, “So, about that action I was holding…”

“Yes Mordy Bordy?”

“I want to shoot the chain holding the chandelier.”

“Yeah, that will do it.” Axton just admitted.

“Okay, roll to attack-” Just as Tina said that, Mordecai did what was told and told her that he rolled a 19 to hit, “That does hit… and the chain breaks…”

Moments afterwards, there was a very long pause as Tina looked to be either lost in thought or calculating something. Which had Spike be a little nervous. “Uh… is everything okay?”

“So, here’s what happens, my peeps…”

“I got a bad feeling about this,” the mechromancer mumbled.

“The chain breaks, it hits the suspicious fellow underneath it, causing everything else to crumble. But what you don’t realize is that this outcome… was something he wanted. For moments after he took his last breath, the ground begins to break apart as the temple begins to collapse. Water begins to flood through the room as you hear a deep and unsettling voice echo from below your feet. ‘I HAVE WAITED AGES TO BE FREE, BUT IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO PROVIDE SUCCOR, THEN I WILL DRAG THE PEOPLE WHO CAST ME OUT DOWN WITH ME!!’ Yeah, bucko, you should probably start running.”

“Time to run.” Axton stated.

“Time to get the buck out!!”

“But what if I ca-”

“Brick I think this is the enemy you CAN’T punch right now.” Axton said that Brick just grumbled about.

“For once, don’t punch them like you did with the dwarves!”

“ONE TIME, OK, ONE TIME!!” Brick asserted himself. “AND THEN THE ONE-

“Brick, less ranting, more running and ranting.” Roland decided to interject.

“Everyone, roll athletics!”

“18 for me.” Axton said.

“11.” Brick grumbled.

“15”

“14”

“14”

Outside of them, there was only one number that was more concerning than Brick's roll. Which happened to come from Starlight. “Natural 1”

“Oh sh*t. That is going to end badly.” Axton brought up.

“You think!?”

“Do we have enough time to grab her? No one gets left behind in my book!” Gaige proclaimed.

“I can try.” Brick brought up.

“Aren’t you at the back of the group though?” Roland asked.

“Do we really have any other options?”

Roland wanted to speak up at that point, but Axton shut him down.

“There is nothing wrong with trying, so go ahead and try it.” Axton motioned for Brick to roll the dice.

“Okay, so… for this, you need to roll reflexes. But it’s a very high save.” Tina warned him. “Now, if you’re ready, go ahead and roll.”

“Hmm, alright let’s go.” Brick announced as he rolled and when it landed he narrowed his eyes as he had to double check his stat bonuses. “How does a 23 sound?”

“... Holy shiznits, you passed. You needed a 22.”

“YES!!”

“So, the moment that you see Starlight fall behind, you see Brick just racing over like a damn juggernaut. Not even bothering to dodge things, but just brute forcing it before picking up Starlight like she’s a cat and just going off to the races! Now though, the damage is not to just the temple, but the entire village. You needed to get out ASAP! Another round of athletics, except for Starlight since… well, you all know why.”

“Because she’s a cat?”

“Haha, very funny.” An unamused Starlight retorted.

“Hey as long as it works right HAHAHAHA.” Brick had a good laugh and then he rolled. “16 for me.”

“I got myself a 14.” Axton announced.

“16”

“13”

“19”

“17”

“Alright, better than before.” Tina remarked. “Anyone else?”

“I believe that is everyone at the table?”

“Huh… kind of expected more, but alright,” the bunker master replied, “Despite the small hiccup and the whole entire village breaking apart at the seams, each one of you are able to make your way out of the village. It took some effort since not only are buildings collapsing, but waves from the ocean are crashing as the whole section of land that the village was on now begins to sink… drowning beneath the waves and damning all the coiled inside to the depths below…… Well, that’s going to need to be something for me to change for any future campaigns.”

“Um… is it too late to ask if we’re still the good guys at this point?”

“I mean at this point, what even is a good guy?” Axton questioned.

“Fair enough. So, what happens next Tina?” Maya asked, only to not get a response early on, “Tina?”

Her answer was just the sound of the Bunker Master passing out on the table and giving out a loud snoring. “I think that she’s pushed herself a little too much.”

“Maybe it would be a good idea to get some sleep ourselves,” Gaige said as she stretched her arms a bit, “God, time flies by way too fast these days. Feels like we only just arrived yesterday.”

“I can agree with that statement,” Lilith added, just as Twilight trotted over and placed a blanket on the sleeping Tina.






“Hey Roland, you have some time to talk?” Axton asked as he caught up to Roland.

“Sure thing, what do you want to talk about?” Roland said in response.

Axton just motioned to an empty room to talk. “Don’t want to wake everyone up.”





As time passed, it grew rather difficult for Gaige to sleep. If it wasn’t her getting notifications from the mystery girl on her ECHO device, it was something else that prevented her from getting much needed rest.

At one point in the evening, she had to get up to use the restroom. Though, after she was done with her business, the mechromancer could hear two voices coming from the other side of a partially open window. The familiar voices of both Axton and Roland, “What the hell? What are they doing up this late?”

As Gaige got closer, that's when she overheard them.

“So this is what it is then?” Axton gruffly asked Roland

“What more do you want from this? I’m just trying to enjoy this new lease I have ok?” Roland responded, sounding hurt.

“Yeah and how long will this last until next time huh? How long until the next time?” Then the sound of a gun being loaded is heard.

“You know the risk from this, if you do this all of them will be here then how will you be able to explain yourself.” Roland brought up. 

“Yeah, you may be right.” Axton agreed. “But this is how it's supposed to be right now, so don’t hold this against me alright.”

“I hope this works out how you think it might.” Roland said, and shortly thereafter a gunshot was heard and a body slumping on the ground.

Immediately, the mechromancer ran to the closest door towards the sound of the shot. Gaige thought that someone had attacked them while they were talking, but what she actually saw had her in disbelief.

“Axton?”

Axton turned toward Gaige in surprise. “Oh sh*t.” Is all he said as Gaige saw Roland on the ground with a bullet through his head and Axton holding a smoking Maggie.

“Axton, what did you do!?!”
> Chapter 27: Handsome Revelations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the night was setting in Ponyville, a newfound stranger just so happened to arrive into town. He… didn’t look like most of the ponies that came through town, but something about this place didn’t settle right with him. It was too peaceful, too happy, too… everything. Of course, if the stories from the locals were to be believed, much has changed over the last few days after a handful of visitors just showed up one day. The town called them treasure hunters, some called them maniacs.

The stranger just saw them as one thing only. Bandits-

“Sir, here’s the pretzels you asked for,” A welcoming voice broke his train of thought. One of the ponies in the market just so happened to make fresh pretzels. And from one bite alone, he felt like he almost died again and returned to whatever this place called heaven.

“Finally, some good f*cking food,” he muttered, before realizing something, “Oh right, almost forgot. Here.”

The stranger tossed a few coins onto the counter, before looking back at the vendor. The unicorn behind the stand was baffled at this. “S-sir, are you sure-?”

“Don’t you have a tip jar or something, sweetheart?”

“H-how do you know my name?”

“Oh uh… I didn’t. It’s kind of a phrase I say sometimes,” the stranger replied, “Still, keep the change.” He then muttered under his breath, “Better in your filthy hands than mine.”

“I-if you say so,” she said, levitating the change into a spare jar, “I-if you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?”

He couldn’t help but smirk as he looked back up at her, “My names-”

At that point, a long bang echoed throughout the entire town as it startled some of the residents. Yet, all the stranger did was just groan. “Sorry, Sweetheart, but it seems I have something to attend too,” he said, finishing the pretzel before dropping the bag into a trash can and trotting away, “God dammit, are we really doing this now? I know it has to happen at some point, but we’re way ahead of schedule-”

Then, from around a corner, he heard two disgustingly familiar voices from a nearby alley, “Axton?” The first was a delinquent. A miscreant, but talented with machines.

“Oh sh*t.” Came the voice from the second one. A former commando who sought glory that he believed was his. As the stranger continued to look, he noticed a third on the ground. A freedom fighter. Someone who, at one point, would be fighting against him.

Now, things were much different, “You have got to be kidding me-”

“Axton, what did you do!?!”

He knew that the third one wasn’t dead, but the sense of betrayal between friends was too good to pass up here. In one swift motion, he picked up a loose pipe that was on the ground and then approached the two. The commando, Axton… if he remembered correctly, didn’t even have the chance to speak as the stranger now revealed his face.

His handsome face.

“Congratulations Kiddos, you played yourselves.”

Before the first one could do anything, he struck the self proclaimed Mechromancer in the back of the head.





Immediately, Gaige’s eyes shot open as she was startled awake. As her eyes were beginning to adjust, the mechromancer didn’t find herself stranded in the alley where she had found Axton moments ago. Instead, it was in a place that was somewhat familiar to her, but only because she had stumbled in here once before. 

“Luna? Luna, are you there?” Gaige called out into the dream she was in, only for it to fall silent as she grit her teeth, “No response huh? Dammit…”

As Gaige tried to move, the mechromancer realized that in the dream she was in, she wasn’t in the body of a pony anymore. Instead, she was her normal self. The dream itself was expansive, much like the wastelands of Pandora that she had grown accustomed to over the last few years. However, instead of an arid strip of land like the Dust or a town that was literally overlooked by its neighbors, it was an expansive forest. The trees were unsettlingly tall and anytime the mechromancer looked at them, she couldn’t shake the feeling that some ragged beast was going to pounce on her at any moment.

Yet, instead of beasts, Gaige heard something different. A distorted voice that, upon further inspection, was coming from her ECHO device.

“Even with my warning, it was not enough it seems…”

“Oh great, not this again,” She groaned, placing a hand over her face, “Look, I know that you’ve been snooping on my friends and dropping cryptic hints. Normally, I would just think you’re some kind of stalker on the ECHO.net, but I doubt that’s even the case now. Just who are you?”

“I don’t think my identity is necessary-”

“You warned me of a traitor in the midst earlier today and the last thing I saw was my friend standing over Roland’s body,” Gaige snapped, “Whoever the f*ck you are, it’s clear that you know something about what the hell is happening. If you want to help me, then we can’t hide anything from each other anymore. So, who are you?”

Her question was met by silence. But immediately, the environment around the mechromancer changed. The expansive forest was now rapidly shifting. Transforming into an enclosed space. But the more it changed, the more that it became recognizable to her. This was no ordinary place… it was one that she and her fellow vault hunters sought after on Pandora in order to try and take the vault key away from Handsome Jack. But in order to do that, they have to overcome an obstacle that even Jack did not want them to see.

Control Core Angel.

“I told you a long time ago that I was here to help you… and you helped me in more ways than I can imagine,” the voice spoke as an orb began to rise up and emerge from the ECHO device, “Yet, because of circumstances beyond even my own control, I’ve been denied peace. When I learned that you were here, I wanted to reach out, but it felt too soon. I did not know the whole story as to why this was happening. But after everything I’ve… no. Everything we’ve seen, I now know why.”

In a bright flash, everything went white. As Gaige tried to see what was happening, the small ball of light expanded. Then, when things died down, what she saw was the last thing she’d expected.

An angel… no. Angel herself was in front of her.

“Holy sh-,” Gaige cursed, “I-I… thought you were-”

“Dead?” she asked, only for her to nod, “I wish. That would be a more preferable alternative compared to… well, this.”

“What even is ‘this’?”

Angel signed, the siren's markings shimmering as she spoke, “Do you remember what exactly brought you and your friends here?”

“Well, duh. We were asked by that Discord guy to look into a vault that was on this planet and find the key to opening it. Why?”

“That is where things get complicated,” the siren admitted. “The vault is already open.”

“ … Excuse me?”

“The vault is already open,” Angel repeated, “And everything that’s been happening since your arrival has been orchestrated at the hands of its denizen: The Consular.”

“That’s… a new one,” The mechromancer folded her arms and began to ponder to herself, “Don’t the Eridians always make the names of whatever’s in the vaults sound… I don’t know, frightening? I mean, there was the Warrior and Lilith told us about the Destroyer.”

“The whole reason for the Vaults was to contain monsters and creatures that were far beyond the Eridian’s control. Some were made specifically for War. Others were to ‘wipe the slate clean’ if something grew far beyond the Eridian’s control. However, the Consular is different,” she says, “It’s a creature that was created by the Eridians to study and understand the afterlife. The passing of souls after someone dies. However, it has grown powerful enough to the point where it can not only control them, but bring back those whose lives were ended prematurely. Allowing their unfulfilled desires to be granted, but for a grave price.”

It took a while for Gaige to contemplate that as she looked at the siren. The whole thing sounded insane. But then again, there were things that she had encountered and witnessed with her own eyes that didn’t make much sense either. “So, you’re back… because-?”

“No… I was someone else’s desire,” she replied, “The same one who you had Lilith finish off after killing the Warrior.”

Immediately, that raised alarms in Gaige’s head. “Oh hell no. That jackass is back?!”

“I’m afraid so,” Angel begrudgingly said, “His desire was to see me again, and so I’m here. However, before you think that I’m spying on you again, there’s one thing you should know. While the Consular can grant someone’s desires, the form that the desire takes is never what the person who wished for it wanted to be. I’m here freely, and there are no chains on me. However, that’s not what you should be concerned with.”

“You’re telling me not to be concerned about-?!”

“No, I mean his desire involving me. He has two desires that went unfulfilled,” the siren said, “The first was to see me. The second… was to create his paradise. He was denied the opportunity to do so in Pandora, but he now has a chance to do it here.”

“Dammit, that just has things go from bad to worse,” the mechromancer muttered, “What about that price you mentioned earlier? What does that have to do with what’s going on?”

“For the Consular?” Angel’s question was followed by a nod from Gaige, before the siren answered, “In exchange for granting their desires, they unknowingly give up their free will. They don’t see it, but the Consular sees them as nothing more than puppets to obtain its goals.”

The more that the siren explained everything, the more that it was starting to give Gaige a headache. Yet, it was at that point that something dawned on her. Something she didn’t really question at first, but now with this information at hand, she had to ask about. “What about Roland? Is he…?”

“I’m afraid so,” Angel said, “However, his desires are the opposite of Jack’s. Both of them want to stop one another to obtain their goals. Yet, with the Consular in possession of their free will…”

“They’re forced to tolerate one another,” She interjected, “He’s not there by choice.”

“Exactly. Your friend, Axton I believe, caught wind of what was happening with Roland. However, given that his solutions are more… how would you put it?”

“Shoot first, ask later?”

“I was going to say ‘direct’ but that works,” the siren added, “However, doing so caused Jack to put in motion their plans rather early. Which leads us to right now.”

Gaige folded her arms, raising an eyebrow as she asked the first question that came to mind. “How early are we talking?”

“Early enough to where Jack had his forces storm through the town you’re in and kidnap anyone that could resist him. Including some of your Equestrian friends. However, some of them managed to escape.”

“And how many are we up against?”

Angel paused briefly, before she looked back at the mechromancer, “Think about it this way… the people that were allied with Jack that you killed to free Pandora got a second chance. That includes Wilhelm and the Sheriff of Lynchwood. Plus, with the Consular, he could have an armada of everyone you’ve killed back on Pandora ready to overwhelm you. You’d need an army to stop that.”

That remark just had a devilish grin appear on Gaige’s face. “I can get us an army.”





When she re-emerged from the dream, the mechromancer found herself in a place that wasn’t inside Twilight’s castle. As Gaige slowly began to come to her sense’s, she realized that a familiar face was speaking. When her vision cleared, she found that Starlight was in front of her. “Oh, thank Celestia, you’re awake.”

A groan of pain was enough for Gaige to express how she was feeling, before looking back at Starlight. From a single glance, she could recognize that a LOT of ponies from around town were now inside. Some had children that were crying, while others were hurt badly. “A-are you guys alright?”

“Are we alright?” Starlight blinked, “I was more worried about you. We found you unconscious and bleeding from the back of the head.”

“I… got jumped.”

“Really? Is that all?” Another voice asked, this time coming from a mare that Gaige only remembered briefly. Somepony named Trixie or something along those lines, “Well, I’m sure that’s minor compared to everything almost being torn to the-”

“Trixie, stop! That’s no way to-”

To the surprise of both of them, as well as everypony else in the room, Gaige just got up off the ground and walked out the door. “Gaige, wait! Where are you-?”

“I got a call to make.”

With that, the Mechromancer went outside and slammed the door behind her. Walking a safe way away from the castle, she felt a tingle in her metal arm, “You didn’t have to do that.”

Now, in her experience of Vault Hunting, Gaige had seen or dealt with a lot of weird things. Yet, having the voice of a siren that was supposed to be dead stuck inside her head was not one of them. “I know. I just… If we’re going to do this, then I don’t want any of them to get involved,” she glanced over at the ruined town that was Ponyville, some buildings either razed to the ground or halfway destroyed as she grabbed her ECHO device, “This is more than just about the Vault anymore. It’s about payback… and making sure that the dead stay buried. The last thing I want to do is have any more of them get hurt because of something involving us.”

A couple swipes on her ECHO device and about a few minutes of waiting later, the person she hoped to have got in contact with reached the other end of the line, “SUP, VAULT HUNTER!! THIS IS A RATHER UNEXPECTED SURPRISE-!!”

“Torgue, I know this is sudden, but I need to skip the pleasantries. Sh*t’s hit the fan down here and it’s bad,” The Mechromancer interjected, “Do you still have those leftover loader bots from your tournament?”

“OF COURSE! WHY, THEY’VE JUST BEEN SITTING HERE DOING F*CK KNOWS WHAT!? HOW MANY DO YOU NEED-?”

“All of them.”

While she was talking, the doors to the castle opened as Starlight trotted outside. She was going to talk with Gaige and see if she could get her to hear an apology from Trixie. Yet, as the unicorn got close, she began to pick up on the ongoing conversation. “ALL OF THEM!?! I HATE TO BE RUDE, BUT ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F*CKING MIND-!!?”

“Torgue, we just had an army almost burn through this town to the ground like New Haven back on Pandora and kidnap all of my friends. I just want payback on the asshat that’s responsible,” the mechromancer snapped, “I want to show them that they’re screwed around with the wrong people and make them regret it.”

“CAN’T YOU JUST ASK THAT SCIENCE LADY-?”

“If I ask Tannis, it’ll take too damn long and make things too complicated. I want to hit them fast, hit them hard and even blow some sh*t up in the process. Something I know that you can’t really turn a blind eye to,” Gaige let out a deep groan as she looked back at the ECHO one more time. “Now, are you in or are you not?”

“... ALRIGHT, F*CK IT!! I KNOW I CAN’T SAY NO TO SOME GOOD EXPLOSIONS!! I’LL EVEN SEND SOME OTHER THINGS THAT THE GUYS AT R&D HAVE IN THE WORKS!! NOW, GO RESCUE THOSE OTHER BADASSES AND PUNCH SOME BAD GUYS IN THE DICK!!”

With that, Gaige put her ECHO device away and shifted her wrist. With the wristband that Discord had given her, she was now back in her normal human form. But before the Mechromancer did anything else, she just let out a sigh. “If you’re going to say something, then say it. I’m not in the mood for people to be sneaking around behind my back.”

“S-sorry,” Starlight said, “I-I was going to have Trixie apologize, but then I heard your call and… didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Seriously, there’s no need to apologize,” she insisted, “It’s just… Whatever came through here and did this was probably our fault. And given how he decided to just abduct every other vault hunter here, it falls on me to fix this.”

“Y-you know them?”

The mechromancer grit her teeth at that, “Unfortunately, yes… and him being here is supposed to be impossible.”

“Why-?”

“Because we killed him,” Gaige deadpanned, “He was a tyrant, a madman and just an all around asshole in every category. Worst part is, he probably has an army with him. So, before I go on a suicide mission, I’m going to need something to match tha-”

It was about then that Starlight asked something that had the Mechromancer stop talking, “Can I help?”

“You… want to help?” she asked, “I mean, I wouldn’t turn it down, but this is some very bloody business I’m getting into. Are you absolutely sure that-?”

“Gaige, you and your friends have done a lot already,” the unicorn retorted, “Some of us should do something to help you in turn. Besides, you’re talking about going in alone. If I remember correctly, we were playing a game earlier that relied a lot on teamwork. So, why don’t we try that here?”

While Starlight made a few valid points, it was still a lot for Gaige to even remotely consider. What she was asking from the Mechromancer was not just if she could simply lend a hoof. She was pretty much asking her to teach her how to be a vault hunter. Something like this wasn’t going to be easy and more than likely, she could end up hurting herself.

Still, it wouldn’t hurt to have someone other than Deathtrap watching her back. “Okay, but if we’re going to do this, then we are doing this like how we do things on Pandora. Which means, I’m going to need to teach you a few things if you hope to survive.”

“What things-?”

Just as she asked that, a giant pod crashed not that far from where Gaige and her were standing. As she looked through its contents, the mechromancer found what looked like a heavily modified DAHL pistol with a silver barrel and firm grip for the trigger. Some words in a language unfamiliar to her were engraved on the gun itself, but all Gaige did was examine it and then load it. “I’ll be asking Tannis for another ECHO device to make this easier. Though, in the meantime… you need target practice.”





After being gone for who knows how long, it felt good to be back in the saddle.

He thought that his dream was dead and gone the moment the Warrior had fallen and the mask that was on his face was burned off. But now, through an unexpected twist of fate, he had a second chance in a place that was his for the taking.

For now though, he was sitting in a chamber with someone who was once a threat… and was now somehow his ally in all of this, “So Roland, how does it feel to know that you had to turn on your friends without having a choice?”

“You know I don’t like this one second.” Roland growled at Jack. “If I had a chance to end this I would.” Only to have Jack laugh in his face.

“Like you had the chance to end me, but left your back unprotected?” he snickered, before folding his arms, “Face it. You Vault Hunters are always full of holes and blind spots. All we need to do is just hit the right one and you’re down on the ground like a pet skag waiting to be euthanized.”

Then, the one known as Handsome Jack just looked back at the vault hunter with an egotistical smile, “But that would just ruin all the fun. This time, I’m going to finish what I started… and make you watch helplessly as I do so. Just like with New Haven.”

“You son of a -” Roland began to growl out, only to grit his teeth and for Jack to shush him.

“Ah Ah Ah, Language. I would’ve thought that your time coming back from the dead was used to reform your character. Looks like I was wrong. You’re still the same child killer as ever.”

“Fine whatever.” Roland just gruffly said as he tried to pull his gun on Jack. Jack just simply smirked and shook his head. “If only I could end this right here and now.” He remembered that while Jack was right in front of him, he wasn’t allowed to harm him no matter how much he wanted to.

For the Consular would not allow it.
> Chapter 28: Making Preparations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Out of all the things that Gaige saw herself trying to be in life, being a teacher was not one of them. When she thought of teachers, the mechromancer would think back to the times in high school where her teachers either supported her pursuits or saw her as a living headache. Then again, many of those same teachers would probably turn her in to the authorities if they ever saw her now. Just one accidental murder and then you end up becoming the most wanted fugitive on Eden-5.

Now, she was in the back of Sweet Apple Acres, teaching somepony else that had only known her for a couple months and who had lived on a peaceful planet most of their life how to fight like a Vault Hunter. It wasn’t exactly the best idea she had in mind, but given the circumstances, the mechromancer was forced to play with the hand she was dealt. 

For she had no backup, no plan, and it fell on her to lead what some might consider as a near impossible rescue operation. When Jack knocked her out cold, he not only captured the other vault hunters, but also Twilight and her friends. Spike was trying to keep the rest of Ponyville calm and the only equestrian who actually offered to help and not linger in fear inside their home was none other than Twilight’s ‘student’.

At least the Bloodshots weren’t exactly a problem this time around. So, that was a positive.

When it came to teaching Starlight about how to fight, there was some early success originally. Being Twilight’s student and very adept with magic, she knew how to use said magic for if she found herself in combat. However, outside of spells, using actual weapons was an area she wasn’t so skilled with. 

It seemed as if those who were in the royal guard only knew how to use weapons, which was honestly a damn shame and pretty much explained why most ponies would run at the first sign of trouble. Though, Gaige honestly would take all the help she could get.

Right now, Starlight was trying to examine the inner workings of a particular DAHL pistol that they received alongside the orbital shipment of equipment that Mr. Torgue dropped in for them. Unlike other DAHL pistols, this one was more of an experimental prototype that Mr. Torgue had found lying around at a trade show. Though, why that was the case was a bit unclear.

“So, how does it feel?”

“It’s… well, something,” the unicorn replied. “Different from what I’d deen when you used your weapons, but still has a bit of a learning curve to it.”

“How so?”

“Well, I did the ‘point, aim, shoot’ thing that you suggested, but when I pulled the trigger, it didn’t quite make as much of a dent as I was expecting.” She said, before motioning her head to a nearby tree. Despite there being a light amount of puncture from what was fired, it did not make any significant dents or fractures.

“Mind if I have a look at it?”

“Uh, sure.” Starlight said, levitating the gun to her as Gaige pulled out her ECHO Device to examine it. “Huh… whoever designed this seemed to have this focus more on living targets like bandits and Psychos.”

“I think I’ve seen this design once before.” The voice of Angel came from the ECHO Device, “It looks like a standard issue combat pistol from DAHL that was used on Elpis. But it looks heavily modified. Let me see what I can bring up.”

The mechromancer shrugged, before raising her ECHO over the weapon. A projected screen on the side soon emerged as some information became displayed.





The Graham Cracker

‘We can’t expect the Eridians to do all the work’

Manufacturer- DAHL
Weapon Type- Pistol (Semi-Auto)
Rarity- Legendary

-When aiming down sights with this weapon, the spread of each shot decreases and the chance to deal critical damage is increased.
-Bonus damage against Psycho’s and Bandits.





“Okay, that’s a lot more than I was expecting.” She said, before pulling back the slide and checking the magazine on the pistol. While this was modified to a certain extent, everything here looked well maintained and nothing seemed to be broken or out of place, which was the exact opposite of what Gaige thought as she handed the pistol back to Starlight. “I think you just need to get used to it a bit more and practice with it first before using this in an actual fight.”

“Can you walk me through it? I’d like to see how you would use it first before I try again.”

Gaige nodded, before she primed the hammer and went through some target practice with the different objects that served as Targets. Old bottles, bundles of hay, unused barrels, and signs that were on trees. The magazine only had six shots, so the mechromancer could guess that this weapon was meant more for accuracy rather than just spraying a hail of bullets at a target. Which… well…

Considering how she would fight bandits, accuracy could suck it.

“I’m not entirely the best at it, but I can at least show how it works from a practical standpoint.” the mechromancer shrugged, “For one thing, this weapon’s meant for more precision based stuff instead of firing randomly.”

“Isn’t that what you do?”

“No no, I fire randomly on purpose,” Gaige said, “Basically, my thing is just firing off as many shots as I can and having anarchy do the rest. Like throwing a bunch of things and going ‘Random Bullshit go!’ … Saw that as a joke on the EchoNET once, but I think it accurately states how I do things.”

Starlight just stared at the mechromancer, looking like she was twitching in place before the unicorn snapped out of it. “S-so, what is it that I should do?”

“Perhaps you should find a way to disable them with your magic first, before firing your weapons? A distracted target is less likely to put up much of a fight.”

Immediately, the unicorn’s gaze shifted away from Gaige and to the ECHO device on her waist, “Uh, who said that?”

“Oh, um…” Gaige flinched as she tried to come up with something on the spot. If she told Starlight about Angel, it would probably complicate things more. So, much to her dismay, the only option that seemed to be the best for her was to lie, “I-It’s an experimental AI program that Tannis sent to me. For what reasons, I’m not sure… but my guess is that it’s to help us try and improve how we fight a bit.”

“Call me Angel.”

Starlight seemed a bit confused, but she wasn’t exactly asking any questions about it. So that seemed like a win. “Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I got a couple other things to work on.”

“What sort of things?” Starlight asked.

Before she said anything, Gaige led Starlight over to the side of the barn and to a tool bench. On it was an arm similar to the one that Gaige had right now, but had some heavy plates and was colored black and red. In addition, there was also a heavy pistol that had the TORGUE logo plastered on its grip and side with matching colors and a blade under the barrel and a shield module from the same company

“Well, Mr. Torgue sent us a lot of leftover loaders for an army. If I’m going to be able to use them to get our friends back, then I’m going to have to make some adjustments because right now, I can only control Deathtrap,” the mechromancer explained, rummaging through a toolbox as she tried to find the right one. “Right now, I want to try and see if this can just be something I can throw on the arm I have already. Otherwise, what I’m going to have to do is a lot dirtier.”

“And… that is?”

“Switch arms entirely. Which can get bloody if things go wrong but it’s not like I haven’t done it before,” She said, before looking at the pistol and the shield. “In the meantime, I have this to work with. Angel, can you… do your thing?”

“Since you asked so kindly, certainly. Analyzing now.” the ECHO device chirped, scanning the pistol and the shield first before moving to the arm.





The Commissar

‘Drive me closer, I want to smack them with my gun!’

Manufacturer- TORGUE
Weapon Type- Pistol
Rarity- Legendary

-Always comes with a Melee attachment. 
-Hitting an enemy with The Commissar decreases their defense and makes them vulnerable to all sources of damage for a short duration.





The Wolfpack

‘They hear the howls and know fear!’

Manufacturer- TORGUE
Shield Type- Blast
Rarity- Legendary

-Taking Damage while this shield is active digistructs seeking missiles that take the form of wolves (Up to Two). 
-When the shield breaks, the wolves are released and seek nearby enemies to explode on contact. When successful, smaller explosives are created that still hurt, but do less damage.





“Huh, that’s something.”

“What is it, Angel?” Gaige raised an eyebrow.

“Both of these are powerful tools for sure. Though, the arm there is different,” the AI replied, “While it was a TORGUE acquired bot from Hyperion, the type of loader bot this belongs to is much different from the normal ones. If tinkered with correctly, it’s possible to apply such capabilities to your own arm.”

“What kind of capabilities?”

“Let’s just say it makes your arm a more destructive part of your arsenal.” 

The comment was followed by a few images surfacing on screen as Starlight and Gaige began to look closely. Though, it did not take long for the mechromancer to look at what was on board and like what they were seeing.

“... Okay, we’re upgrading this first,” Gaige replied, looking as cheery as a kid who opened their presents on Mercenary’s Day, “Jack’s not going to know what hit him when we’re done with this.”

Starlight herself was not quite sure what exactly had Gaige so eager to get to work. Though, the fact that the mechromancer was laughing like a mad scientist version of Twilight did not really help that much.





For the last few hours, Spike felt as if he had been worked to the bone. Ever since what happened the night before and the abduction of both the vault hunters and the element bearers, he had been working closely with whoever he could find in order to not help those who were hurt, but to calm everyone down. However, doing so was much harder than he thought. 

Especially since some questions they were asking were ones that he himself wanted to know the answers for.

“Hey Spike, are you alright?”

The question led to him turning around, his gaze fixed on a familiar sight. Though, for some reason, Starlight seemed… different. Last time he saw her, she went to go talk to Gaige. Though, now it seemed like she was ready to fight something. 

“Oh, uh, sorry… Just a bit exhausted. What are you doing here?”

“We came to help.”

The dragon couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that. But before he could ask anything, his eyes shifted to see the mechromancer right behind her. Her metal arm was now a deep shade of black with red tints. “What kind of help?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” Gaige folded her arms, “If it were me, I would just want to hunt down the one responsible. However, after a conversation with Starlight and Tannis, we realized that it was more than likely possible that the asshole who did this would try to come back to finish the job.”

“So, with that in mind, we came back here,” Starlight said, “Not only to form a plan, but also a possible defense. If they plan to come here, then we should be ready for it.”

“Knowing Jack, it’s less of a matter of if and instead a matter of when.”

Spike led both of them over to the map table, passing by a couple of Ponyville’s residents that took shelter inside the castle after the last attack. “Okay… I get what you’re telling me. My only question though is how.”

The Mechromancer couldn’t help but grin as she placed her ECHO device on the table. “Let me show you something real quick. Back on Pandora, our home of Sanctuary utilized a defensive barrier to protect against bombardments like this.”

After a few seconds, a holographic version of Sanctuary was displayed as a recreation of one of the bombardments that Gaige first experienced and the shield with it. “If we can try to replicate this somehow, then we could be golden.”

“Eh,” the dragon folded his arms, “I mean, if Twilight were here, I think this could be done without any problems. Though, without her, it would take a lot of unicorns to do that and I’m not entirely sure who would-”

“What if we use the tree?”

Immediately, the hologram of Sanctuary was switched as the newfound voice startled the dragon, “Who-?”

“New AI Tannis sent me. Something that’s supposed to help, but she wasn’t specific,” Gaige replied, “As you were saying, Angel?”

“From my brief observations, I can only assume that the very tree that we’re inside is magical in nature,” she claimed, “Therefore, perhaps its magic could be utilized to some extent?”

“Can we even do that?” Starlight wondered. “For as long as I remember, this place was just… well, a home. I figured that there were magical items in here like the cutie map, but I never really thought that the whole tree was magical.”

“The only way for us to really know for sure is if we give it a try,” Gaige told them, before glancing over at each one of the numerous residents and families that relied on the castle for safety, “Our friends aren’t the only ones counting on us, the whole town is… and I’ll be damned if I let them down now.”

It did not seem like it at the time, but Gaige’s words… lit a spark inside those who watched her. She was a rebellious sort, sure. Though, she probably did not expect for others to join her in such rebelliousness.





The chamber was darkened as lights began to float around like wisps on the wind. Crystalline cylinders hung from the ceiling like cocoons as a figure browsed what was inside. The wisps weren’t just single minded and moved on their own, but instead were a tapestry. A loom of the dead and the damned.

Roland did not like this one bit. But given the circumstances he found himself in… when the Consular called for him, he had to… No, he must obey.

“Well, time to get a move on then.”Roland said more to himself than anyone listening. “I hope this gets done soon.” As he just shook his head remembering what led up to this moment, alongside the splitting headache that came with it. “Who knew living from a headshot would give me a headache.”

“And what makes you so eager to be in a hurry?”

The remark was enough to send a chill down the voice of the usually stoic soldier. For as he turned around, he noticed a tall figure behind him. Dressed in what looked like robes, but not made of sinew or cloth of any kind. A singular eye that was the color of the wisps around him gazed at him, their arms held forward as it looked back to him.

This was the Consular. The figure that resided in this vault.

“You put on a brave face, but do you really think you can hide your desires so easily?” it questioned Roland. “Your unfulfilled wishes burn you alive like a raging fire, and yet you refuse to extinguish it.”

“There is a time and place to do this.” Roland started. “And I would like nothing more than to put a bullet into that Bastard's head, I can’t yet.”

“Curious… Is the reason for your way of thinking because you believe I would retaliate if you do?” It asked, before giving off what could possibly be a slight chuckle, “Mortals like you intrigue me. When you face a difficult choice, you believe that making a bad decision would rectify it.”

It then had a wisp emerge in its bony like hands as its eye focused on him, “The question is, how many bad choices would you make before the weight of the consequences breaks you?”

“So is this some sort of game to you then? To take delight in my or whoever's torment you deem fit for you?” Roland said through clenched teeth, only to receive silence which unnerved him more than anything.

“Oh, it’s not a game. It’s more of something along the lines of what you would call ‘an experiment’,” The consular said, “For Eons, I’ve watched the decisions that souls would make when forced into a bad decision. The eridians didn’t realize that the weapons they created to seal in the vaults would end up being their undoing. When Luna was overcome with jealousy and became a nightmare of herself, her sister banished her to the moon. However, after watching these souls for so long… they become predictable. You and the others, who survive on a planet of pure chaos, are the opposite.”

Then, it turned away. But not without one more reply “I hope you don’t disappoint me like those who were picked before you.”
> Chapter 29: Plans of Action
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the last couple of hours, Starlight Glimmer had been feeling as if the weight of Ponyville and the townsfolk were on her shoulders. 

She, Gaige and a few others were in the final stages of a plan to ensure the safety of everyone in Ponyville. Yet, there was no telling if this gamble of theirs was going to work as intended. The idea was to cast a very powerful barrier spell to repel any invaders from coming into the town. However, since a consistent amount of magic needed to be used as a source, the current hypothesis was that the very tree they stood in could suffice.

While the plan could work, there was also a very high chance that what they were trying to achieve was going to backfire significantly. Especially since it was never attempted before. Twilight was always good at such things herself, but right now, she and the rest of the Elements of Harmony weren’t here to help with this. To make matters even more difficult, Starlight was the only pony in town who just so happened to be as adept with magic as the absent princess of friendship.

Well, there was also Trixie. But her friend was already occupied with trying to keep everypony calm with how badly things have been falling apart over the last few hours. Even with Spike helping her, it wasn’t exactly going too well. 

“Starlight, are you alright?”

The question had Starlight blink, before looking back towards Gaige, “What? Y-yeah, I’m fine. W-why-?”

“You kind of seemed distracted for a bit.”

“No no, I was just… thinking,” the unicorn tried to reassure her, “Trying to clear my head a bit before we start working on anything. You know, not having any distractions?”

“Oh, I prefer distractions,” Gaige replied. For a moment, Starlight thought that she was being serious. Then, the mechromancer finished her sentence, “Gives me more of a reason to throw a wrench at them.”

The unicorn’s eyes twitched at that, a little unsure if that was supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing. Though, since it was Gaige, it was… sort of expected?

“So anyways, are you on board with the plan? Or do you need a refresher?”

“A refresher, please,” Starlight quickly replied, “I think I might’ve missed a couple of important points while I was… lost in thought.”

At that, Gaige brought out what looked like a rolled up blueprint. As she opened it up, Starlight found what looked like a rough sketch of the castle, “Well, when Angel took a moment to analyze a few things, we learned that the magic coming throughout the tree originates from its roots.”

As she continued, the mechromancer held out what looked like a marker as she began to draw out what the plan was. “Angel’s theorizing that these roots are where the magic gathers before its spread out throughout the castle. Are you with me so far?”

Starlight nodded, “I guess. But how do we get from that to-?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Gaige asked, “The current plan is to try and have that magic be redirected to a singular point in the castle, which will be up on the balcony. That magic will be used as a power source for the defense that we’re planning.”

“And… What is that defense? Is it a spell of some kind or-?”

“Currently, there are two possibilities for how we could be successful,” Angel spoke up as the Mechromancer set down the ECHO device, “The first one involves our friends back on Pandora. Since the original shield generator was part of Sanctuary, we could ask Tannis if she happens to have blueprints on the original shield generator and try to create our own. An effective plan, but I doubt that we have the time or luxury for such things.”

Starlight could agree with that. It was unknown if the creatures responsible for the attack on Ponyville would come back to finish the job, so it wouldn’t be a good idea to take any chances. “What’s the second one?”

“That happens to involve a little bit of magic,” Gaige replied, “Spike told me that Twilight’s brother, Shining Armor, happened to know a spell to put up a shield around Canterlot. So, the second option is to try and recreate it somehow. Though, the method of how this could be recreated… is something I’m having trouble trying to put together.”

“I’m sure something like that can’t be that difficult now,” the unicorn said. Though, her words had Gaige look at her with a bit of uncertainty. “C-can it?”

“Tannis thinks so,” Angel replied, “When Gaige discussed this earlier with Spike and had her on call, she grew concerned since the spell seemed to be a ‘talent’ of his. She… uh, what were the words she used to describe it?”

“She compared it to something scientific. Like… egh,” Gaige pinched the bridge of her nose, “Something like inherited traits. ‘Being able to do something so easily, without putting in any hard work for it’.”

“Yeah, like that. Unless this Shining Armor somehow comes knocking on the front door, we would have to learn the spell manually… and based on what Gaige told me about magic, who she learned from Twilight, it could take a long time to learn a spell depending on-”

Before the conversation could go any further, there was a loud knocking noise at the door that startled them for just a brief moment. Which was then followed by the familiar voice of Spike on the other side. “Uh, girls? I hate to interrupt, but there’s a visitor here that wants to see you.”

Both of the unicorns looked at one another, before Starlight nervously spoke up, “A visitor? Who is it?”

“Well… there’s no way to put this delicately. Shining Armor is here and he wants to talk to you. Like right now.”

If there was ever a time where it felt like Discord was somehow influencing what was happening, now was less than ideal. “Uh… sure, send him in-”

Before the Mechromancer could even finish, the doors to the balcony immediately opened up as the impact of it almost knocked both mares to the floor. As the two tried to get back up, they now found themselves staring up at a familiar stallion with white fur and a dark blue mane & tail. A stern look on their face as he asked one simple question.

“What happened?”

That alone had Gaige internally panic a bit. It felt like she was getting scolded for doing something crazy on EDEN-5 again. Though, instead of a teacher or principal scolding her, it was the captain of the freaking royal guard. “Okay, let’s try and calm down a bit-”

“I am calm,” Shining sternly declared, the look on his face being the exact opposite of what he was saying, “Yet, everything I’ve been hearing is testing me to act otherwise. So, let me ask again. What happened?”

“W-what did you hear?” Starlight asked.

“That no less than a few days after we left you with Twilight and her friends that this town was attacked, my sister and her friends got foalnapped,” the captain then immediately turned to Gaige, “And that one of your people was responsible. I have members of the guard demanding an explanation as to why this happened and wanting to exile you, so I came to hear it from you personally.”

Those words had the mechromancer’s blood run cold. Yet, despite this, she tried to remain calm as she looked back at Shining. “Okay. But something tells me you’re not going to like what we have to tell you.”





“So, let me get this straight… all of you were minding your own business?”

“After playing a game of Bunkers and Badasses with Tina, yes,” Gaige nodded, before looking to the other mare in the room, “Even Starlight and Spike were with us.”

It looked like Shining acknowledged it, but he was more focused on trying to break down what Gaige told him, “Then, while you were on downtime, you heard one a shot ring out and find one of your team members had shot another?”

The memories of that were all clear, but a few unanswered questions still remained. “Yes. And before I could demand any explanations, I was knocked unconscious.”

“And when you woke up, you learned that Ponyville was attacked, your friends were abducted along with my sister and her friends, and your saying that someone you claim is supposed to be dead is responsible.”

“There’s a lot of things we’re still trying to figure out, but that’s the gist of it, yes,” the mechromancer let out a deep breath as she looked back at him. “Look, I know this sounds crazy, but I have no reason to lie to you. I want to get all of my friends back, but before we can do any of that, we need to make sure that Ponyville is safe in case Jack comes back to finish what he started.”

“And how are you certain-?”

This time, it wasn’t Gaige or Starlight that spoke, but Angel as she projected herself from Gaige’s ECHO device, “Forgive me, Captain Armor, but the person we’re dealing with is never satisfied with leaving something half finished.”

Shining was taken aback by that, unaware that there was somepony else that was listening in the room, “I’m sorry, but who-?”

“This is Angel. She’s an… AI project that Tannis was working on and sent to me,” the mechromancer replied, “She was also the one who witnessed everything that happened in Ponyville while I was knocked out cold.”

“She’s… a ghost?”

“More like Artificial Intelligence, but I can understand your confusion,” Angel remarked, “Regardless, that is not why I spoke up. Considering who we’re dealing with, Jack would go to extreme lengths to make sure that any resistance that stands up to him doesn’t exist. Back on Pandora, he massacred the town of New Haven and killed many in Sanctuary.”

We’ve been working on something to try and make sure that doesn’t happen here, but,” Gaige paused, before letting out a deep sigh, “It requires something.”

“What is that something?” Shining asked.

“Your cooperation.”

The unicorn raised an eyebrow, a bit taken aback by Angel’s statement, “Is that a threat-”

“No. But I can see how it would come off as such,” she replied, “Gaige and I have been working on a plan, because before we can deal with Jack, we need to make sure everyone here in town is safe.”

“Twilight told me that you have specialty with defensive and shield based spells,” the mechromancer continued, “We think that something like that could be what the town needs, but we might have a way to make that spell stronger. Time is not exactly on our side, so the quicker we do this, the better.”

Shining had to take a long while to process everything. There were several details that didn’t quite add up, but Gaige was right on the fact that time was against them. To make matters even more annoying, she and this ‘Angel’ were the only ones who had any idea of what they were up against. A creature as Mad as King Sombra, but worse.

“Okay, fine,” he grumbled, “But on the condition that you include the royal guard in whatever plans you have. The ponies in this town are under our protection and I will not stand by and let such things happen again.”

“That can be agreed. In fact,” Gaige paused, scratching her chin, “I can think of a few ways that we can utilize your talents. After all, the more, the merrier.”





If there was anything that Handsome Jack hated above all else, it was loose ends.

Back during his prime on Pandora, he would lead any and all Vault Hunters that would try to come to his planet for riches to their demise (no offense intended). Their bodies end up being a pile of frozen corpses in the Windshear Wastes, and there would be extra cleaning services on each train he used. For several years, this worked perfectly. Yet, it was because a few stragglers happened to survive such schemes that was the start of being a thorn in his side.

Those same stragglers that ruined everything were here. But now, he had the upper hand. Now, they had front row seats to watch as all they had strived to try and achieve was going to burn right in front of them.

And to twist the knife even more, he had a ‘friend’ come join him. “Well, you’re rather quiet now Roland. Normally, you would have something to say.”

Roland could only look at Jack with pure disdain. 

“Not much in the talking mood right now… That an issue for you for some reason?”

“Come on, now. You have a front row seat to the main attraction,” his masked face grinned, just as several loader bots with heavy artillery began to take positions. “I made sure that your comrades also have a good view of this too. It’ll be like New Haven all over again. Only this time, you can’t run.”

“Well, I hope something doesn’t ruin your precious time making this all happen.” Roland replied, hoping something goes wrong for him.

“Don’t bet on it. Because I’m making sure everyone’s coming out to enjoy this one,” He snickered, just before a massive loader bot joined them. The former soldier recognized this one almost immediately, because it was the same one that assaulted what used to be Firestone, and also guarded the Hyperion Information Stockade that Jack turned the town into when he was alive. “Alright, you damn bots! Places everyone!!”

Of course, there was one particular bot that stood out. Mostly because it had a human head… and, by all accounts, he should be dead.

“Wilhelm.” Roland growled out. “I see you didn’t want him to miss this party at all.”

The enforcer said nothing, not even acknowledging the soldier as he took up position. He had a look on his face of wanting to murder Roland himself right there… but there was no way that the consular would allow it.

“All of you, go rain hellfire upon those savages!!”

Roland could only clench his teeth in frustration as he saw the loaders start their bombardment. But yet he didn’t want to give Jack the satisfaction of him looking away.

Though, after a few minutes and the smoke started to clear, Jack soon realized that something was off. Even more so when the town was still standing… and being protected. “Are you F**KING KIDDING ME!?”

“Target destruction inconclusive…” One of the loader bots mumbled.

“I CAN SEE THAT! WHY!?”

“It’s a barrier,” Wilhelm’s cybernetic voice grumbled, “Like the one on bloody Sanctuary.”

“And how-?!” Jack paused, taking a deep breath as he tried to remain calm and composed. “You know what… fine. We’ll just run it back and do it all again-”

“Unknown movement approaching…”

“Oh, what NOW!?”

In the distance, Roland can now see something barely visible on approach. At first, it looked like just a figure on something… that was moving rather fast. As it got closer, the soldier could now see a very familiar figure.

For Gaige the Mechromancer was riding on one of the shoulders of Deathtrap, as a unicorn. Along with what looked like a self made army of recycled Hyperion drones following right after her. Just the sight of it being a mere insult to Jack’s ego.

“Hello boys!!” She cried out, a Conference Call shotgun wrapped around in a magical grip as a massive grin was on her face. “I’M BACK!!!”




> Chapter 30: Breakout
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Starlight could only let out a deep breath as she watched everything that was playing out. She was thankful for Shining Armor’s help on the matter and that he could keep the town safe. But what came afterwards was going to be the hardest part of the plan.

Right from the get go, Gaige’s part in all of this was to have Jack’s attention be focused specifically on her. Even with a mechanical army and several pegasi from the Wonderbolts acting as aerial support, it wasn’t going to be enough if Jack happened to have some unseen tricks up his sleeve.

So, it fell on her and a couple others with her to handle another side to the plan. For Gaige’s full on assault was the perfect cover to try and sneak in… and get everyone else that was already held captive out. And unlike with the changeling kingdom, there weren't any sort of problems that prevented them from using magic. At least, as far as they knew.

As they got closer, it didn’t take long for them to try and find where they might be. Because as they got closer, they heard the voices of two things. Angry and irritated psychopaths… and a particular commando trying to pick a verbal fight with said psychos.

“I THINK YOU MEAN YOU ARE GOING TO DIE TODAY, NOT TOMORROW!!”

“NO NEED TO SHOUT!!”

“I’M NOT SHOUTING, I’M YELLING!!”

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!”

“I WANT TO USE MY OUTSIDE VOICE!”

“STOP LOOKING AT ME!”

Such a conversation was enough to throw everypony that was coming in off guard, “Starlight, is that…?”

“Where the rest of Gaige’s friends happen to be?” the unicorn sighed, before looking at Trixie, “That’s a yes.”

“So, what exactly is the plan again?” Another pony that Shining Armor happened to know and had stationed in Ponyville, Flash Sentry, asked quietly, “Go in, let them loose and get out?”

“Somewhat… but even though we know where Gaige’s friends are, we don’t know where Twilight and the rest of the girls might be,” Starlight pointed out, “The hope is that some of them could possibly help with that… somehow.”

It was a fair point, and one that Trixie herself didn’t want to admit. Though, the showmare still had doubts on whether or not this was a good plan or if Starlight was out of her mind. Especially considering who they were going to rescue first.

“Well, this is a change of pace,” Another oddly familiar and irritated voice echoed as the three of them started to hug the nearby wall, “Normally, we’re the ones killing idiots like this. Now, we’re being ridiculed by them. Nice going.”

As Starlight looked down at the grated floor under her hooves, she could see some figures inside, but two stood out. The first was a familiar blue haired siren, while the one across from her was a disgruntled commando.

There was also the impatient alicorn who just wanted to explode things. “Come ON! Nothing’s gone ka-boom in days! Can’t we just strap a ba-dongo to the gates and let it go off? I’m sure no one will notice.”

“Tina, I like your thinking,” the siren, who Starlight now recognized as Maya, grumbled, “But I doubt it would be that easy. We don’t know where Lilith, Brick and the others are, and even if we did, the Sheriff’s probably keeping a close eye on them. Honestly, I can’t believe she of all people is still alive, even after robbing her town back home and beating her in the shootout she challenged us too.”

“Who?” Flash asked, only to be silenced by the two mares as a pair of Psychos passed by them.

Though, it was at that point that they heard the siren pose a question to the other cellmate. “Speaking of which, since we have nothing else going on, let’s address the elephant in the room. What the f*ck did you do that got us into this mess?”

“Well do you want the short and sweet answer that will get me punched in the face and quite possibly KABOOMED by Tina or would you want the slightly longer version where you will have a better understanding, but you will still punch me in the face and Tina might only blast me without killing me?” Axton posed the question, simply waiting to hear her out.

“I want the simple answer and no bullshit,” the siren retorted, “I know you shot someone, but what we don’t know is why.”

“Well that does narrow it down a lot.” Axton just sighed heavily as he sat down. “Something just didn’t feel right with Roland coming back. Don’t get me wrong, it was great to see him again, but I thought it was just some imposter or something like that. So after our round of Bunkers and Badasses, I took Roland outside for a walk and then I found out my worries about him were not only true but It got a hell of a lot worse.” He then just waved a hand around the cell. “Which is as you can see, it is.”

“WILL YOU SHUT UP!?!” One of the Psycho’s screamed from outside the cell, “I’M TRYING TO MEDITATE WITH MY MEAT GRINDER!!!”

“I can’t wait for Gaige to come up with something to get us out of here.” Axton rolled his eyes at that. “Jack just leaving her for dead has got to be his biggest mistake since he came back.”

That at least confirmed a couple of things for Starlight. For one, there were a few obstacles in the way that needed to be either dealt with or avoided before they could get everyone out… and from the sounds of it, even if they did manage to free the vault hunters, there were still other things that could prevent them from getting out safely.

“Well, guess there’s no time to waste,” Starlight mumbled, before looking at Trixie, “Hey, Trixie. Do you still have some firecrackers on you?”

“Starlight, who do you take me for?” Trixie raised an eyebrow, “Trixie always-”

“I need you and Flash to light and throw them as far as you can,” the unicorn instructed them, “If you can do that, it would provide enough of a distraction so that I can unlock the gates of their cells.”

Both ponies looked at one another, conversing to themselves first before looking back at Starlight as the pegasus replied back. “I-I think we can.”

“Okay… On the count of three,” By then, Trixie already was in the process of getting the firecrackers out, “One… two… THREE!”

As Flash and Trixie hurled the Firecrackers, a loud BANG went off. Startling the Psycho’s as they tried to make sense of what was happening around them. As this was going on, Starlight immediately went to work on the gate as a blast of magic from her horn broke the lock.

Much to the surprise of the Vault Hunters inside, the gates were now wide open. An invitation to leave this hellhole.

“Well, time to start a riot.” Axton said as he got ready for action.

“Haha, WE’RE FREE SUCKAS!!” Tina immediately stormed out, before noticing Starlight, “Oh hey, glim glam. Whatcha doing here?”

The unicorn blinked, not even bothering correcting her, “Getting you out.”

“Well, I for one am thankful for that,” Maya said, her siren tattoos glowing as she stretched her arms, “Where’s Gaige? Isn’t she here-?”

“She’s… well, she phrased it as ‘creating as much anarchy as possible’ outside,” Flash interjected, “The plan was the longer she could distract them out there, the more time we have to find and get you out.”

“What? Just by herself? Come on now, that’s ridiculous.”

“Well… that Torgue guy kind of gave her an army.”

“So he gave her his leftover Loaders?” Axton just raised an eyebrow. “Actually knowing Mr. Torgue and her, that plan checks out.”

“By herself though?” Maya questioned.

“Well… she had help from something she said Tannis gave her,” Starlight told her, “Something called ‘Angel’. Not sure what it is, but… it’s been helping us with everything so far.”

“Hold on a minute, Angel?!” Axton had to shake his head a second. “Know what, questions for later.”

“You know about them?”

“Yeah, long story short, Angel was Jack's daughter and was also a siren. Didn’t know about that until we found that part out in person.” Axton briefly explained. “Now, either walk, talk and shoot our way out or we have a little powwow on finer details. I for one want to do the former.”

That was something they could all agree with. Especially since finding the others and getting out was not going to be easy-

“WOOHOO, PRISON BREAK!! LET’S FLIP THIS BITCH!!”

“Well, you heard the little lady. Time to bust outta this joint.” Axton said with a mad look of glee on his face as he followed Tina out of the Prison.

“Hey, Trixie doesn't want to sound like that mare,” she emphasized, “But didn’t they take your weapons-?”

“THE SHEEP ARE FREE!?! GET BACK IN YOUR PENS, LITTLE LAMB-!!”

As a trio bandits tried to get the jump on the group, Maya moved her arm and caught them mid-air in a phaselock… before tossing them out the window. “We do what we always do,” the siren said, grabbing a gun off the ground that they dropped, “We improvise.”

“I mean just look at them, they are basically giving us free weapons.” 

Maya ignored what the commando said, for when she turned around, she realized that Tina had already gotten a head start.





At the far end of the prison, the other prisoners woke up to the sound of explosions and Tina’s declaration of war.

“Hold on a moment, I hear Tina and explosions….” Brick started then jumped up “HAHA IT’S A F*CKING PRISON RIOT HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

The moment Lilith began to register what was going on, she couldn’t help but smirk, “About time,” the firehawk said, before extending a hand forward as the lock on their cage was beginning to melt. “Now, let’s find everyone and get out. We got a score to settle.”

“HELL YEAH, TIME TO BUST SOME SKULLS!”





Around the same time, as Jack was trying to contemplate what exactly was charging towards him, the sound of alarms echoed throughout his base of operations. “Oh, son of a taint. What now!?”

“Sir, there appears to be a security breach.” A loader bot said.

“I can see that, you imbecile. WHY!?”

“Clearly, it’s a diversion tactic,” another voice on the ECHO line that Roland recognized as Nisha, the sheriff of Lynchwood, heard, “Whoever’s trying this is going for the divide and conquer approach. Trying to distract your forces out here to avoid any detection on the inside. Clever.”

“It’s annoying is what it is,” Jack immediately snapped, “If this festers out of control, then everything we’ve done to get here would just be pointless! Wilhelm, deal with the showoff outside. Nisha-”

“Already on it. By the time I’m done, there will be a gallery of tombstones with their names on them.”

That just left only one other figure. Roland. But before he could move, Jack whipped around and pointed the same pistol he used to kill him the first time directly at him, “Oh, don’t you think that I’m letting you wander off anywhere… You wanted something like this to happen. But I’m not letting you out of my sight! Not this time.”

“That may be so Jack, but don’t worry about a thing.” Roland simply just stood a little straighter. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’ll be the one to judge that.”

“So it seems. In the meantime we’ll just have to see the show play out, right?” Motioning with his chin towards the carnage the Mechromancer was currently causing.





“Yeah, down with the system, asshats!!!” Gaige rallied the bots by her side, charging farther into the fray as gunfire erupted towards them. Even though this was meant as only a distraction, she couldn’t help herself. After all, what would be the point of all this if there wasn’t some fun to be had with killing Jack a second time.

Still, despite how many of Jack’s loaders she killed, there was still a lot more that Gaige could do to cause some damage. So… to take a page from Tina’s book, she brought out a giant Tediore Rocket Launcher called the Bunny, aimed it at where she thought Jack was hiding and pulled the trigger.

“HIPPITY HOPPITY, JACKALOPE!! COME JOIN THE REST OF YOUR PROPERTY!!!”





As Jack soon found out… what Gaige took as a guess for where he would be turned out to actually be where he was hiding. Something he realized when he turned around and found that a rocket… and a Tediore rocket launcher, was barreling straight at him.

“Son of a Taint-!!”

“Well sh*t!” 

The explosion was enough to leave behind a giant hole in the wall that was once there as both of them now had a different view of the battlefield below. Yet, for a moment, Jack saw something different… something that made his blood boil.

From Gaige, there were silver markings that ran along her mechanical arm and a single wing. 

It did not help that the Mechromancer’s next words struck a major nerve.

“When are you going to stop being a coward, asshole!?”

As Roland looked at Jack, he looked furious. “No… No! NO! NO!!! That bastard!!! THIS ISN’T WHAT WE AGREED UPON! ALL FORCES, KILL THAT VAULT HUNTER NOW!! I WANT THEIR REMAINS SCATTERED ACROSS THE BADLANDS!!”

Yet, when Roland saw Gaige… he saw something different. And could immediately see the reason behind Jack’s fury.

“Well this is definitely not the way I imagined seeing you again, Angel.”

Likewise.

The single word was the only thing Roland heard, before Jack stormed his way out of the room… and the hulking mass of metal known as Wilhelm stormed out to the battlefield instead.

“You and I both know how this is going to end, Vault Hunter,” He growled, “With you dead on the floor and the psycho’s using your spine as a back scratcher!”

Gaige remained unphased by that. If anything, she just tilted her head. “Didn’t we murder your ass already once before? To be honest, you were a f*cking pushover.”

“I’LL SHOW YOU PUSHOVER, YOU BANDIT PUNK!!”





“So, are you sure we’re going to just leave Gaige out there on her own?” Mordecai asked as he dodged a bolt of magic from Starlight that blasted a psycho out of a window. “I’m pretty sure I just heard Wilhelm of all people screaming just now.”

“That… could be a problem,” Lilith said, before looking at the whole group, “Some of us should go help. Any-”

“METAL LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER!! LET THE BLOOD SING TODAY!!” Krieg shouted, before immediately jumping outside through that same window to join the fray.

“I, for one, am in full support for what Krieg did.” Brick said as he then bulldozed a psycho who came up behind him. “TIME FOR SOME PAYBACK, YOU METALLIC ASSHAT!”

“Well, I think it’d be better if they at least had a helping hand,” Maya said, before going up to the ledge and looking at Axton, “You wanted a chance to prove yourself? Then show it.”

“Fair enough, besides the more the merrier right?” Axton simply said as he followed alongside Brick.

Maya chuckled at that, “Let’s show these asshole’s who they decided to pick a fight against.”

As they charged in, Lilith looked back to Starlight as the Vault Hunters that stayed inside descended further into the cell block. Looking around every corner for Twilight and her friends… while expecting a conflict of their own against the one that resided over their prison.




> Chapter 31: Second Draw
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

No matter who you are or where you happen to be from, when someone is given a second chance, it mostly goes one of two ways. The rare few that see this as an opportunity to turn their life around would do everything they could to change. Whether it be because they believed in something greater in themselves or some other reason mattered little. They just wanted to turn their backs on their old life and start clean.

Almost everyone else, more often than not, didn’t see it that way. Many would claim that they would change their ways, but more often than not, they would just end up doing the same damn thing that they were doing before. Whether it was out of habit or bad luck did not matter, it still led to the same damn thing and they wouldn’t learn that their actions had consequences.

Now, for a certain person that got an unexpected second chance, none of that mattered. For she solely believed that what she did wasn’t wrong. She was the bringer of the law to the frontiers that were lawless and was recognized as the Sheriff of the most lawless town on Pandora. It did not matter if the person was a thief or a serial killer, the law did not discriminate and at the end of the day, justice had to be served.

However, it had been some time since the bells of Lynchwood rang and the day she met her end at the hands of the Vault Hunters… but Nisha still drew breath. She did not care how or why, but that on this new frontier and no matter who you might be, justice must be delivered.





With all the chaos happening outside and the extra help from some of Gaige’s friends to add to it, Starlight thought that it would be enough to keep the attention of this ‘Jack’ away from what they were doing. After all, the Mechromancer brought a giant robot army with her and wasn’t doing anything to hide or be subtle in the slightest. Plus, when you add a bandit king, a murderous psycho and a siren with a grudge into the mix, it’s going to get extremely volatile.

However, despite all of that, it did not make whatever was going on inside any easier. Because from the moment the Vault Hunters were out of their cells, all of the ‘guards’ in the prison stopped what they were doing and directed their attention specifically to them.

“Not sure how big this place is, but if these psycho’s are any indication, then who knows how close we are to finding them.” the hunter Mordecai remarked from a ledge as he shot a stick of dynamite out of a maniac’s hand. Then, as quickly as he said that, he looked down towards Starlight and the rest of the group. “If anyone’s got any ideas, I’ll be more than open to hearing them!”

“Some of us should focus on the so called ‘guards’ here, while everyone else start checking the cells,” Lilith quickly replied, setting a pair of Psycho’s on fire as she looked to Starlight and Trixie, “With how big this prison is, chances are it’s going to take a bit to find who we’re looking for-”

Not a moment after that was said, a loud screech echoed as an intercom started up. A message echoed from the other end that started to reach, “So, you’re the ones that are causing a commotion in my prison? I must hand it to you, you always have a habit of finding a way to make things interesting.”

“W-who’s that?”

“And just when I thought things were getting complicated enough,” Lilith grit her teeth, “Hello, Sheriff.”

“That’s Nisha to you. Or did you easily forget about our brief time working on Elpis after you went up there, scarred Jack’s face and disappeared just as quickly?” the voice asked, before it let out a deep sigh, “You’ve caused quite a mess already. But since you’re not mindlessly joining the carnage outside like your ‘friends’, then you must be here for something else aren’t you?”

“And what exactly gave that away?”

 “Why else do you still have your bird friend, a former commando infatuated with his own machines, an insane gun-nut, a ninja who speaks in haiku and a teenager who solves every problem with dynamite with you?”

“Well Excuuuse you, Sheriff. Last thing I remember was dealing with you back in Lynchwood.” Axton said as he walked up behind the group. “What was it you wanted us to do again… oh yeah have a showdown with us only for it to be an ambush AND you ended up dead in the ground.” Axton smugly stated.

“Best part of it all, you still couldn’t even handle even just one of us. So I can confidently say this won’t change a thing.”

“Are you done?” She said, “Because it’s not you I want… it’s that one next to you.”

It took a minute… but soon, everyone realized that she was talking about Starlight. “Wha-? Me?! Why-?”

“Because unlike the Vault Hunters here, you are different. You are from here, and unlike the ones in the prize cell where I am, you have some fight in you,” The sheriff added, almost like she was pleased to say that, “So, let me say this once. Upper deck. Pistols at high noon. Come alone. You do that… and I might just let the ‘friends’ you're looking for live.”

“And what if we don’t, ya stinky butt-”

“Funny you ask that… Because remember all the ‘toys’ we confiscated from you, little girl? Well, we found other more practical means for it. The choice is yours”

The implications alone were enough to horrify Starlight. This… ‘Nisha’ not only held her former mentor and her friends captive, but had the means to kill them if she did not comply. Twilight’s life was in danger, but this woman just saw it as entertainment to her!

Before she or anyone else could give a response, the call cut out and more bandits began to pour into the cells. “Ay mierde, we got company!”

“Well, not like I didn’t see this coming honestly.” Axton said as he got his gun at the ready. “So Starlight it’s up to you when you’re ready to move out.”

“W-what are we going to do though? I k-know that she said to come alone, but…”

“Well, if you’re up for risks,” the firehawk said, “I might have one idea.”

“How?”

“If I learned anything from people like this, it’s that they always think that they are in control. Yet, they can’t be in control of what they can’t see.” Lilith grinned, before looking over to Zer0. “And there are two of us here that specialize in that.”

“That is definitely riskier, but damn will it be effective.”

“All we need is Starlight to keep her attention on her for long enough. If worse comes to worse,” Lilith then motioned to where Starlight kept the pistol that Gaige gave to her, “Well, I hope you’re a damn good shot at least.”

Out of all the times that the unicorn had felt a vast amount of pressure on her shoulders, this was higher than anything else. Sure, she’s had help with their friends being captive before… but the stakes were never this high. Nopony had threatened her friends like the sheriff had just now and the window for mistakes was non-existent. If they even slipped up once, somepony could get seriously hurt or worse.

Not like she had any other choice.





In her special office overlooking the cells farther in the ward, the lawbringer had everything exactly as she wanted. Despite being outnumbered by the amount of Vault Hunters in the prison, she had more than enough ‘inmates’ to keep them all occupied.

She knew every Vault Hunter that was in here, including the ones that put a bullet through her skull back in Lynchwood. But the Equestrians were an abnormality. A peaceful species that were unlike the madmen that lived on a planet of pandemonium like Pandora.

So, with what Jack called his VIP’s (Very Important Prisoners) in their cells, the Lawbringer wanted to see what it would take to make an equestrian and their so-called ‘Harmony’ break apart. What would they do if given a painful choice between saving others or saving themselves?

How far would they go to prove what they say is right?

Well, there was only one way to find out. And they were stepping through the door right about… now.

Now that Nisha wasn’t seeing everything through a fuzzy security camera, she could clearly see the unicorn that came in full view. Light violet fur with a star-like mark on the flank and a mane style that almost resembled the so-called ‘princess’ in the cell underneath her feet. Didn’t appear as if she was carrying anything on their person, but she didn’t want to assume anything.

“Huh… and here I thought the tacky show magician would come instead.” the lawbringer grinned, “Still, at least you can listen to simple directions unlike the inmates.”

The unicorn, as expected, looked tense. “Where are my friends? I did what you asked, and you said-”

“I said that I might let them go. I never gave you assurances that I will, so their fate depends on you.” Nisha clarified. “Besides, out of everything in this hellhole, you are the most out of place.”

“Out of place? This is our home!”

“And yet, you’re here among those who’ve committed grievous crimes and killed thousands for their so-called ‘resistance’ against Jack. When I came here, I was under the impression that your kind was a peaceful one.”

As the Lawbringer spoke, Starlight watched her hands move to her sides, “But if I learned anything from today, it’s that you are like us. You’re greedy. You just want to get what you want and then run. You don’t want to fight for it and think that just some honeyed words would be enough.”

Then, Nisha hand gripped what was holstered at her side. Two revolvers with bladed attachments at both ends, “But that is not how things work here. Like on Pandora, you need to fight for what you want. So, let’s see if you can do just that.”

In an instant, the Lawbringer’s weapon was raised and all Starlight heard was one final word. “Draw!”





A few moments prior

“Does anypony else get the feeling that this is going to be a bit too risky?”

“Not unless we make sure to do every step of the plan.” the siren tried to assure a nervous Trixie. “We left Mordecai with Salvador, Axton and your friend Flash outside to keep everyone covered.”

“Flash isn’t-” Trixie tried to correct her, but saw no point as she sighed, “Uh, forget it.”

“So, with most of the boys keeping things occupied, what we’re doing is going to be important. Zer0 knows this too, so until we get the signal, keep yourselves hidden.”

It was one thing to have her marefriend stare potential death in the face. Yet, it was another to try and test a potential death threat to see how far this ‘sheriff’ was willing to go. Still, if this gamble worked, they could assure that their friends would be out of harm’s way.

While Starlight was doing what the sheriff wanted and mostly everyone else was doing what the sheriff expected of them, they were doing the opposite. Zer0 was working on cutting out any sort of ‘eyes’ that Nisha had on them, and once that was done, Tina could work her ‘magic’ in disabling whatever surprises were on their cell.

Until such a time, Trixie’s will was going to be put to the test. For a slight lapse in the magic she was concentrating could spell disaster.

She just hoped that her friend would stay calm while they pulled off one of the most riskiest endeavors of her life. Anything else she did before paled in comparison to right now.

Fortunately, the two of them didn’t have to wait long to get an answer.

Update on Progress
Security is no more
Sheriff is blind now

“That’s our cue. Let’s go.” the siren whispered, before quietly going through the door that was blocking their path. Quietly, both of them made their way past whatever ‘guards’ that were stationed as Lilith made short work of each one. Despite the low lighting in the halls, it wasn’t too hard to make out where they were going because of how often the guards would be spewing nonsense to one another.

“I’M BORED! WHY CAN’T WE JUST GO OUT AND KILL SOMETHING?”

“LAW LADY TOLD US TO STAY! SAYS WE CAN KILL IF SPARKLY ONES DISOBEY!!!”

“Crap, I don’t like the sounds of that,” Lilith cursed, “Zer0, can you find anything on where our friends might be? Try to speed up the process? I rather not leave Starlight in the gaze of the Sheriff for too long.”

I can try my best
Can’t be too careful though.
Consider Plan B?

Trixie blinked, looking over to the siren and the teenaged demolitionist near her, “Do we even have a plan B?”

“Let’s cross that bridge when we get there. We still got a bit of ground to cover before-.”

BANG!

The sound of a few shots echoed throughout the lower halls of the prison, stopping them in their tracks, “What the hay was that?”

“I have a bad feeling of what that might be. We should hurry.”





The moment that Starlight saw the glint of a weapon in the hands of ‘the sheriff’, her mind immediately went on the defensive. Instinct kicked in as the magic on her horn surged as a protective bubble formed directly in front of her as the first shots were fired. The bullets caught in the shield as the unicorn scrambled to find some cover to hide behind.

“Well, aren’t you a surprise? You actually have some fight in you,” the sheriff mocked, “Good. I’ve been waiting for a proper showdown.”

To the Unicorn that was hiding behind a lower balcony, this lady was bucking insane. She had no idea what exactly they wanted, but it was getting rather obvious that it involved her being dead. That was something she couldn’t let happen.

Hurrying to come up with an idea, her eyes caught the attention of several noticeable chunks of rock around the room. Without really thinking too much, she picked up a few different spells with a levitation spell and hurled them towards Nisha.

As she soon realized, despite them actually hitting her target, it didn’t exactly have the effect she wanted as the see-through signs of a hexagonal shield covered her.

“You’re not the only one with some manner of protective tricks,” the lawbringer taunted, before firing another two shots that almost hit Starlight’s back leg, “If you want to save your friends so badly, then you’re going to have to do more than that!”

Starlight said nothing, but knew that this woman was right. Simple spells like that we're not going to stop her. She needed to use what Gaige taught her alongside her knowledge of magic if she wanted to get out of this one alive. There had to be a way to stay one step ahead of her.

It was as she was looking around that something the mechromancer said to her began to resurface.


Sometimes, we plan for something and then the plan falls apart. The shit that we find ourselves in most of the time is never ideal. Though, part of being a vault hunter is finding clever solutions to very bad problems.

As those words stayed in her mind, she glanced around the room one more time as another shot missed her. But before she could duck for cover, an audible click was heard on the other side. 

The unicorn then realized what that meant. The shots in her gun were all but spent! She had a chance now.

Magic from her horn flickered once again, only for this one to fire off a powerful blast of magic at the lawbringer. Aimed not for her, but the weapon in her hands as the revolver she held onto was sent rolling across the floor of the prison. “Clever-”

But Starlight wasn’t done. As the Lawbringer turned towards where she was, the unicorn teleported behind her. Weapon at the ready as she fired a shot at the contraption on her waist that had her shield.

Unexpectedly though, even though the shot staggered the Lawbringer, she did not expect the second weapon she had holstered. Before she could move, a shot was fired as it went right through her left ear. On the other hand, a knife was drawn as it narrowly swiped past her throat but cut into part of her face. “Hehe. I guess I was wrong. You do have some fight in you. A shame that it won’t last.”

“You threatened those that I care for. My friends, my home.”

“Heh. You sound just like that slab meathead from Pandora. The so-called Slab King,” Nisha grimaced, slicing again as a few cuts formed on her legs and chest, with one of them striking too close to her eyes, “Hard on the outside, but once you start finding ways to break them… then they will just lash out at you. What would it take to make you break, I wonder? Is it the friends in the cell? The vault hunters you’ve come to know?”

Starlight’s options were becoming slim. Her ears were ringing, her body was in pain. Struggling to find a way out of this.

But one thing that Nisha said immediately made her snap. “Oh I know… It’s the show magician, isn’t it? You care for her the most, don’t you-”

Immediately, the unicorn snapped. As magic surged from her horn, a shockwave knocked the Lawbringer off of her feet. As Nisha tried to fire, Starlight aimed her Graham-Cracker and shot through the wrist, blowing off her hand as the gun dropped to the floor. As Nisha cried out in pain, the unicorn barreled herself into her, knocking her off of the balcony ledge as she plummeted to the ground and a metal pole skewered her heart. Leaving her lifeless at the bottom of an empty prison.

All the while… smiling. For unknown to the unicorn, this was the death she wanted. In Lynchwood, she was robbed of what she wanted most when the vault hunters ignored the conditions for their duel. Yet, this creature gave her what she wanted most. A perfect duel, a chance to fight new prey… a chance to die the way she wanted.

Of course, Starlight did not know of any of this. In fact, she was beginning to sway in and out of consciousness. Blood was leaking from her wounds as she looked down at what was left of the Sheriff.

“Nopony… threatens Trixie…” Starlight let out, before dropping to the ground. Drained and in so much pain. Vision blurry as she could make out only a few voices while on the verge of passing out.

“Santa mierda. She… actually killed her. Axton, get in here! Starlight’s in rough shape!”

“Damn, didn’t know she had it in her. ON MY WAY!”





Outside in the outer stretch of the Badlands, a rather excited Gaige was having the time of her life.

It was one thing to lead her own personal army against the asshole that caused so much pain on Pandora. But now, there was a giant obstacle that was a roadblock between her and Jack.

Fortunately for her, she did not have to wait long to have some unexpected backup. “WOOT WOOT!! I’M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN, MAGGOTS!!!!”

Sliding from a nearby ravine, the mechromancer couldn’t help but notice three familiar faces. The most obvious of the trio was the Psycho that was barreling towards whatever ‘goons’ that Wilhelm happened to have with him. Following behind him was Maya and Brick.

“Well, what do you know? Were you jealous that I was having too much fun?”

“HAHA YOU KNOW IT SLAB!!” As Brick stopped near her. “Plus I owe this metal asshole a beating from last time.”

“Well, if that’s the case,” Gaige reloaded her shotgun, “I’ll make sure I’ll let you crush his head once we’re done!”

“Do you really think mere numbers can stop me,” Wilhelm taunted, cracking his neck from side to side, “Then come and try!”

“YOU’RE ON!!”

In a matter of moments, the empty badlands started to become a warzone of untold proportions. An onslaught of gunfire, explosions and robot parts were flying in all directions, some of them being the loaders that Wilhelm was throwing at them, while the others were of Gaige’s own personal army. Any attempts to gain ground were met with fierce resistance as they were pushed back. 

It was an ongoing stalemate from both sides. At least, until the Mechromancer (that was somehow part siren) had an idea. “Hey Brick, how good is your throwing arm?”

“Damn fine, whatchu thinking?” Brick replied while rolling his shoulders.

“Can you give me a toss? Got some new tricks I want to try.”

“Hell yeah! Just tell me when you’re ready to go.” Brick then got into a throwing position, waiting for the mechromancer. Which didn’t take long as Gaige immediately nodded her head and got ready.

“Send me straight towards him.”

“Heh, BATTER UP!” 

The moment that Gaige was in the right position, Brick didn’t hold back. When the Slab King tossed her, the markings of her metal arm began to glow vibrantly as a singular wing emerged from her back.

As if on purpose, she let herself fly behind Wilhelm. Only to firmly place a hand on his back as Gaige said an all too familiar phrase.

“Executing Phase Shift! Angel, do your thing!”

Almost instantly, the glow from the arm began to spread. The Enforcer’s body started to glow and convulse as he swung his arms around to try and hit her. As the others watched, it started to come to their attention why Gaige wanted to get into that position.

With her newfound strength, something as difficult as hijacking the body of a murderous cyborg turned out to be not so difficult.

“Hey! What the flak did you do!? Give me my body back, you bi-!”

Before he could finish, the shoulder mounted cannon on Wilhelm’s back turned and cracked, aimed directly at his head as Gaige moved her finger in a firing motion. Leaving what remained of ‘The Butcher of New Haven’ as nothing more than Scrap Metal and Gore as she looked to the other Vault Hunters.

“I hate to leave you guys short handed, but can you hold the fort here? We got a score to settle with a particular Jackass.”

“Get going slab, we can take it from here.”

Immediately, the Mechromancer picked up the pace. For the only way to finish this fight… was to put an end to Jack and the thing that brought him back in the first place.
> Chapter 32: Seraphs End
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are a lot of things that any creature can tell you about when it comes to pain. Some would valiantly say that it's just weakness leaving the body. Others who would be more qualified in the medical department of things would say that whoever told you that has no idea what they’re talking about and try to fix you up. However, pain isn’t always what we think it is, but at the end of the day, it still hurts regardless.

Right now, to Starlight, she was going through something similar. Her head was aching, her ears were in pain, and the only thought on her mind was the last thing she remembered. Her pushing the lawbringer Nisha off a balcony, her impalement… and then it all went dark.

Even though she was the victor of the duel, Starlight personally didn’t want to have it come to this. To her, the unicorn felt that what happened now went against what she had been learning from Twilight. That she impulsively made a decision without thinking and left the friends she came to save in danger because of it.

Everything felt… cold for a moment. But it was only a moment. For when her eyes opened again, she found herself in an area that looked like an office or security station. Bandages were all over her forelegs and, from what she could feel, one of her ears had a strange pressure to it. She felt… weak. Like how a unicorn would feel after using every ounce of magic in her body. Just where was she? W-what was going on?

Then, someone familiar. “H-hey, Axton? I think she’s waking up!”

That was a voice she recognized briefly. One of the soldiers of the guard, but her mind was a bit hazy on the details.

“Hey there sunshine, how do you feel right now?” snapping was then heard. “Gotta make sure you’re all awake here.”

“H-head… hurts.”

“You did take one hell of a beating, but you managed to survive and kill Nisha.”

If she were honest, Starlight was hesitant to really respond. Sure, she did ‘stop’ them, but death was not what she was trying to do. She never knew what it would feel like… to end someone’s life like that.

Why did it feel… satisfying? “I-is everypony else… o-okay?”

“They are going to be fine, but the better question I have for you is are you going to be ok? Mentally anyway.”

He’s worrying if she’s okay? There was something more important to worry about than her right now and that was the friends they came to save! “Are the o-others okay?”

“Lilith and Zer0 are on their way to them right now. So in short, yeah they will be fine.”

She hoped that he was right… but words weren’t going to be enough. Starlight had to be certain.

“For now however, are you physically able to fight through?” Axton then swapped to being a soldier, “Because I don’t want you to suddenly become a cadaver when we are going to meet up with them. Also for the fact we don’t know where Jack is at the moment. So are you absolutely certain you can still fight?” 

“She looks drained,” Flash was heard from the back, “Not sure if it’s magical or physical exhaustion, but it would be too risky to move her. If your two friends can get the Princess up here, then she might have a better understanding.”

“Sounds good, with that Starlight you have to stay put or you could very well risk killing yourself trying to move.” Axton then stood up. “They will be fine and besides, Lilith and Zer0 will be back in no time.”

Right on cue, a voice could be heard over the ECHO device on Axton’s person. A familiar voice from someone Starlight was with not too long ago, “Come in, this is Lilith. Can anybody hear me?”

“This is Axton go ahead.”

“We found who we’re looking for, but something got the rest of the inmates here up in a frenzy. What’s going on up there?”

“Nisha is dead, thanks to Starlight here. So anything else that happened, I’m not too certain.”

There was a hefty silence for almost a minute, before the siren spoke up again, “That might be the reason for things now. Hell, with no one to watch over what she calls thugs, this place is almost like Pandora… in the sense that it’s effectively lawless. We’re getting the others out. For now, stay where you are and we’ll come back to you. Kill any inmate you see-”

“The chain lady is dead!! WE’RE FREE!!!”

“Well, now the cat’s out of the bag.” Axton said as he readied his gun and his turrets primed. “Not that I figured it would’ve been that way for long. See you when you get here.”

The ECHO device went silent, before Starlight felt a nudge to her side and heard Flash speak again, “If we’re holding down this point, what can I do to help?”

“Well, for starters, ever wanted to know how to handle a gun?” Axton asked as he moved one of his two turrets into a position closer to the door they came in from.

Flash’s face was… unsure. He did want to help, but he had absolutely no clue how Axton’s things worked. “I… guess-”

“Well no time like the present then.” Axton then looked Flash up and down. “Hmm I think a shotgun might work for you since you have that armor on.” Axton then handed him one. “Get a handle of it first, see how it feels for you.”

The guard was… not sure how to handle the newfound weapon in his hooves. In fact, when he attempted to fire it once, the recoil was enough to make him fly off balance.

“Ok, maybe handing you a Jakobs shotgun was not the best option.” Axton admitted. “Then I guess maybe try a pistol then.”

Then, a familiar voice was followed… and a haiku with it. “Axton, I must ask/ What the hell are you doing/ Just standing around?”

“Getting Flash here to help out since he otherwise has nothing to do. Also to protect Starlight since she isn’t fully ready to move around yet.”

“You believed that / arming him with a shotgun / was good idea?”

“I thought his armor wasn’t for show, you know, to help with the recoil.” 

All Axton could hear was a deep sigh, before the voice on the other end changed back to one that he was hoping to hear from as Lilith was back on the ECHO device, “If you two are finished, can we work on an escape plan please? Trixie and I got Tina to defuse her toys and get the girls out, but there’s no way in hell that we are getting out of here without a fight. Axton, can you regroup back with us?”

“Alright, be there soon.” “Axton then turned to Flash. “We will have to continue your gun training another day.”

Personally, Flash was relieved by that. For he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to actually hold one of those things ever again. So, instead of carrying a weapon, he carried Starlight on his back instead. “Where are we going?”

“Right now, time to regroup with Lilith then maybe get you two the hell out of this place.”

“And everypony else, right?”

“They are with Lilith right now, so let’s walk and talk if you have any more questions.”

“Let’s hold off on that. I do have questions, but I don’t think we have the-” Just as he was speaking, the whole building started to violently shake, “-time.”

“Yeah, sounds like we have overstayed our welcome.” Axton then started running towards the way out. Flash didn’t waste any time either, holstering Starlight onto his back and picking up the contraption that was next to her body when they found her as they scrambled to find a way out.

“Oi, what’s going on over there?” Mordecai could be heard over the ECHO device, “Talon’s starting to freak out-”

“I wish I could tell you off hand, but all I know is we need to get the hell out of here.” Axton responded. “Also Lilith found our missing ponies so rescue is a success at least, and Starlight killed Nisha so that’s a bonus.”

As he said that, a structural pillar that supported the foundation of the building began to crack and crumble as more pieces were falling apart. If what was happening earlier wasn’t a reminder for them to haul ass out of here, then they definitely got the message now.

“Talk to you as soon as we get out of dodge.”

“Let’s just hope everypony else is okay.”

“I think they might be relatively safer than they were before.”

As they hurried out of the gulag to meet their friends, Flash had another question on his mind as he gently set Starlight down on the ground, “What about your friend, Gaige? Will she be okay? She was the one that orchestrated… well, all of this.”

“Honestly, she’ll be fine considering she knows how to make an exit just as much of an entrance.”

The pegasus could only give him a semi-concerned look, “I hope you’re right-”

Only for the conversation to get interrupted as the Commando got pounced on by a familiar teenaged alicorn, “Axty!! There you are, you silly dum dum!! We’ve been looking for you!”

“Good to see you are just fine Tina.” He then adjusted Tina to carry her on his back. “Also good to know you were looking for me, I was just leaving this place anyway.”

“Leaving? But we’re not all here, silly! You can’t just leave after splitting the party! That’s the number one no-no in Bunkers and Badasses!!”

“In that case let's meet up with the others, they’re waiting for us.”

For some reason though, Flash felt that there was still more to do. That all of this felt too easy. What if this… thing that Gaige is up against proved to be more than she could handle?





The moment that he realized that the vault hunter that led the assault started making a bee-line straight for them, Roland noticed that despite bearing a confident face, Jack was not exactly thrilled about what was happening at the minute. Not only did Gaige bring her own army to combat his loaders and minions, but she dispatched Wilhelm so quickly that he didn’t even hear him let out any cries or screams.

From the soldier’s position, it looked like Jack was trying to throw shit at a wall to see what would slow her down. Yet, every time it failed, the more that his patience began to grow thin.

“Well Jack, things aren’t looking so hot for you anymore.” Roland calmly said. “Anything else you need me for anymore? Because I think it is safely coming all apart from what you planned.” Roland had a smirk growing on his face watching Jack slowly lose composure, yet couldn't shake a small feeling of dread forming as well. 

“Oh, don’t you give me that smug ass look. You know you wanted this,” Jack retorted, fighting between maintaining his usual demeanor and giving into his anger, “Even in this predicament, you wanted to resist the situation you’re in. And to add salt into the wound, you dragged my daughter into this too. Just like on Pandora!”

“Well, so what if I did? It doesn’t change the fact of what's happening right in front of you. If I didn’t know any better I would almost say history is starting to repeat itself for you.”

Immediately as he said that, Jack drew a gun on him. A weapon unfamiliar to him, but one that he gripped firmly. “Shut your mouth!! Do you really think that this can be over so easily? I’m not going to have myself die here, in this wretched waste!! Not when I am so close to-”

Immediately, the plateau they were on overlooking the carnage below started to shake as the sound of gunfire got closer and closer. For a brief second, Jack turned his gaze away from Roland as a rocket flew past his head and exploded underneath the cliffs overlooking them. Cracks in the stone started to fall as giant shards of rock began to rapidly descend towards them.

“Aw, son of a taint!!” Jack cursed, before immediately taking off. Not even caring if Roland followed, but more focused on his own personal safety and trying to put as much distance between himself and the Vault Hunter coming for them.

“Don’t think I’m going to let this end like last time!!” Roland shouted as he rolled towards the way Jack left before the rocks landed on him.

Or so he thought. For when he opened his eyes again, he saw the sight of a large metal claw holding up one of the boulders that would’ve crushed him in a heartbeat. Alongside the giant robot Deathtrap was the Mechromancer that Roland remembered bringing on to the Crimson Raiders long ago. Only this time, they were on separate ends of the conflict… and she was the one pointing a shotgun at him with a single question on her mind.

“Where’s the Jackass?”

“Ran down the hall without a second look back. He’s all yours if you don’t want my help.” Roland stated while getting up.

“Why would I even consider your help after what you did?” Gaige said, before looking away, “Look, I’ll deal with you later. After I make sure that Jack is back where he belongs six feet under.”

“Fair enough.” Roland then muttered under his breath “Not like I could do anything.”

Gaige had already started moving before Roland could say anything. The mechromancer had a lot that she could say to the man that let her into the Crimson Raiders, but that could wait. Jack was the bigger problem and she owed it to Angel to see it through.

Luckily, it did not take long for her to try and find him.

“You give me back my daughter, you bandit scum!!”

The proclamation was fired by several shots fired straight at her from different directions. Some were from above her, but also attacking from the side as Gaige got behind one of the rocks that fell from the cliff-face.

“Well, that’s just like Jack.”

“Care to explain, Angel?” the mechromancer glanced at her arm as the Siren’s voice echoed in her head.

“He’s using a set of what he calls ‘Expendable Assets’. Digistructed versions of himself to help him or be a hindrance to those trying to fight him. Something that is usually seen with his body doubles back in Opportunity.”

“So, he’s either trying to make a run for it or just hide in the hopes we don’t find him,” the vault hunter said, but not before an idea surfaced as she grabbed her ECHO Device, “Hey Axton, you got a second?”

“I’m all ears right now, what's the plan?”

“Jack’s trying some stupid fake out plan to try to hide. Using the same kind of holograms Tannis took to make Digistruct Peak,” she replied, “How much artillery do you have?”

“Simple answer is yes, more accurate answer is I’m ready to bring the rain.” Axton then chuckled a little. “Ready to fire whenever you need me to, and also Tina says Hi.”

“Do it then. Also, tell Tina I said hi back. We’ll talk more once we’re out of this mess,” Gaige said, marking the area ahead of her and sending the coordinates to Axton’s ECHO device, before ending the call and putting her ECHO back on her belt. “Any second now…”

“ONE ORDER OF EXPLOSIVE ORDNANCE INCOMING!!”

Not that long after the order was called, a symphony of explosions went off in sequence. Through the sight of her weapon, she watched as each one of the Jack copies cried out in painful agony. Whatever debris was out and about was now scattered as Gaige now had a clear sight on the real Handsome Jack.

And he was not happy. “Well… For a child murderer, you’re rather resourceful.”

“At least I don’t need to hide behind my own ego,” Gaige snarked back, just as the newfound arm she constructed began to glow. “But on that note, there is someone that wants to say a few words.”

Before Jack even realized what was happening, the arm on the mechromancer fired out from its socket as the hand that jettisoned toward him grabbed him at the throat. He tried to struggle, but the stranglehold made it impossible to focus as he ended up dropping the gun he had on him.

“It’s been a while, dad.” the voice of Angel said, almost dripping with a pride that was absent when alive back on Pandora.

“A-Angel… W-why? T-They’re bandits-! They-”

“They showed me more kindness than you ever did,” she shot back, the arm rising higher in the sky, “You talked about wanting to make paradise while I was in a prison of your design. You treated your own flesh and blood as nothing more than a tool of your twisted machinations, all while you had the nerve to tell me to be grateful for everything you’ve done for me!”

At this point, even Gaige was a bit caught off guard. She thought that Angel would just snap his neck and be done with it. But this… this was not what they talked about. This was not part of the plan! “Angel, what are you doing?”

“I’m sorry Gaige,” the voice of the siren echoed, rising even higher as the arm glowed bright red, “But after everything he’s done here and home and what he’s done to us… Just this once, I want to at least right the wrongs I’ve done before… and show this bastard HOW GRATEFUL I AM!”

“ANGEL-!”

In an instant, there was a bright flash as a massive explosion went off. Blood and gore rained down from on high as a part of the cliff-face that was there was now gone as if it never existed. The mask worn by Handsome Jack now broken and shattered into pieces and the arm that once held Angel now a hunk of burning trash.

From Roland was, part of him felt satisfied being able to actually see Jack die. Something that was robbed too soon back on Pandora. But… that was short lived by the voice of another farther into the cliff-face.

“So, you must be the one who’s been defying all my expectations. A curious one indeed.”

When the mechromancer turned around, she was now face to face with the last thing she anticipated. A tall bony figure with a robe of flesh in its body and a staff of what looked like bone. Ghostly wisps floating around its form as its singular eye was the same color as them. It wasn’t even focused on the remaining soldier here, almost as if it lost interest in them.

Only for that interest to be rekindled as it looked at Gaige.

“At last… we meet.”