Why, I think this may be a novel approach to Luna's archaic speech! Honestly, I really like what you're trying to do with it, even if it kind of hits a brown note in places.

7523653 If by a brown note, you mean she sound dull; that was intentional. She's a stoic old fart, what do you expect?

Also, glad you liked the story and the writing! As my friend 'TheBreadMaker' in the comments has told me in private, her speech really does make the story come together.

Blushed the Alicorn as her horn's pink aurora surrounded the menu before her,

*fan-rages* Cadance's magic is sky-blue, I think.

Shining and Flutter Heart are doing just fine.

Flurry Heart.

You don't have to fall in love with me. That's not what I want for you;

Careful there, Cadance... one doesn't necessarily choose who one falls in love with...

This is extremely sweet... and you gave Luna slit pupils!

7523789 Thanks for finding those inconsistencies. I haven't really seen an episode in like 3 years... Glad to hear you enjoyed things! And, of course I gave Luna slit pupils; that's like, her cutest trait!

7523796 I was always a bit miffed that show-Luna lost all her 'night creature' traits after she got rainbow-lasered. She should have fuzzy bat wings and cat-eyes!

Now that I think of it, it's fine if Luna falls for Cady. Shining will just have TWO princesses.

7523819 I think Cadance might keep her 'nightmare' to herself, if ya catch my drift

Why is every Cadance story Infidelity?

7525527 Because she's a slut. Thanks for the dislike, by the way.

7525670 Well then at least now I know. Thanks for the honesty

7525702 Sugar coating things ain't my style, despite my story. I thank you for your honesty, as well. I myself thought the concept of a Luna X Cadance story was nice, but I knew someone would eventually mention the fact this is adultery. My excuse was that Luna's got a love-related problem, and Cadance is the Princess of love... so how else would she solve the problem? Talk with Luna? Yeah, we did that; sex time.

7525747 Too be more honest I always wanted a Luna x Cadance story. But there is always adultery and infidelity in all of them. I got my own personal bias against it. Other's will enjoy it thou

7525769 Kind of hard for there to be a story between to characters without infidelity where one of the characters is married in the canon...

7525777 Yeah I know xD. I'm looking for the golden goose like group marrige or herding or shining dies or they split up or they never got together in the first place you get my drift

7523675
Not quite. I'm saying there are some phrases where you miss the sweet spot and end up skirting the ungrammatical weeds. I would recommend you pay utmost heed to the construction of her register.

7526635 think you could hit me with an example or two? I'd like to see what you mean so i can avoid the same problem.

This is a great start. Can't wait to see where this goes.

7534124 I'm currently ~3000 words into chapter 2, and let me tell you, I didn't think it would get this spicy

7534160 Ah... well, the spicier the better I think

Luna is best pony ;). Can't wait to read more. I've noticed nightmare moon is tagged. I wonder how she will play into this story.

7539538 Well, lucky for you, Chapter 2 is completed! It will be uploaded within the hour, as I'm doing all of the final checks.

Nightmare has a fun little part.

Mmmm, tasty Luna and Candy ehh?
I like it!

Carry on

I am... Rather impressed with this.

Luna is spot on, I think.

Well done, indeed!

~Skeeter The Lurker

What exactly is champaign? I've only heard of champagne.

Great story anyways, I never thought I'd find a Lunadance ship so interesting!

8277678
Champagne is a drink that can legally only come from Champagne, France, and is somewhat like a white wine. Its a formal type of drink, and its somewhat fruity and fizzy thanks to a second fermentation that occurs within the bottle.

Also, thanks for reading and commenting! If you want to read a Luna and Cadance story with no sex, go give my other story 'The Luna Papers' a read. It's short and sweet, like this fic.

Again, thank you!