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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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7464861 ehh what part was over descriptive can you please tell me and should I fix it?
Please sir, may I have some more?
7464930 Do not fret I Am writing as fast as I can but I'm running out of vanilla coke and it's kinda hard to put down ideas, as my ideas are flying everywhere right now considering I was taking a nap when this thing got approved ,and when I wake up from a short nap I get a headache
Keep it up. This is one of a kind!
7464974 Yay but don't worry I'm writing the third chapter? the fourth chapter gah I cant think clearly with this headache
7464981
Just be cautious with the headache.
7464980 A little bit of column a, a little bit of column b to be honest
7464984 yhea this is what I get for waking up after a short nap to check if my story got approved
Initial objective rating: N/A out of 10
Initial personal rating: on a scale of "white bread" to "marinated garlic shrimp scampi", i rate this story "freshly cooked taco meat"
the quality of the writing is too unevolved to give useful advice or functional rating scores; the writer needs encouragement to write more; the experience from writing more will improve the quality to an advisable level.
7464940
Acknowledged
7465020 Eheh *twiddles thumbs* you see this is the first time I'm writing outside of high school so I'm pretty inexperienced when it comes to this type of stuff also taco meat is delicious now I have to get back to typing my union break is over.
I never actually played or heard about Act of Aggression, but I'm guessing that it's a strategy war game so I am now interested.
7465073 it is a spiritual successor to the old act of war games also it is a RTS where you build your base rally your troops and try not to die to the ai on easy mode
I am intrigued good sir
7465114 next chapter is nearly out
7465123 looking forward to also the tablet thing made me laugh a little bit'gets sent to equestrian buying stuff for a game after getting off of said game what do you do play more games!!' Basically what I thought
7465167 there is more to that tablet then that my friend notice how it said scan blueprints I may be a US army general but oh no I am not going to be bound to this game, only I shall branch out as I find tech in the world and the multiverse although the dead pony had the first puzzle piece to making my infantry stronger than they are right now.
7465099 Cool, I'll be sure to read and see how this'll be playing out.
Never expected a displaced story to sucsessfully be done on something like this, but you did it. Props to you dude, you earned a follower
Plenty of errors, a bit of time to look over and it's fine.
Some sentences starting with lowercase letters, sentences that could use a comma or period here or there. The use of bold and italics to replace capslock for emphasis, and remove parentheses when describing MC's reactions or introspections.
Other than that, this story holds promise