Story of a Stick

by Xinrick

Interlude I

It was a normal day in Canterlot Gardens, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a royal princess was sitting down and being ever so thankful to get away from all the snobbish ‘royals’. “It’s such a nice day outside.” The solar princess says to herself, smiling and closing her eyes, just enjoying the feel of her sun bearing down on her flawless white coat. Nothing could ruin this glorious break time for her.

“Your highness!”

Or...not.

“Yes?” Celestia asks, putting on a mask to hide the fact she was royally pissed at a guard ruining the serene silence.

“We have a report from the local Ponyville guard.” The guard says, and just on time a note manifested from green smoke.

“My student so soon?” Celestia wonders, using her magic and opening the note and reading it swiftly. Celestia stopped reading it and her brows furrowed, before she re-read the letter and re-read it again. “Guard...what was the report?”

“A strange blue...stick figure like thing appeared somewhere in Ponyville. When a guard, your personal student and her dragon assistant found it lying on the ground it immediately ran away.” The guard says, reading the report word for word. “It then kept running, tossing aside Pinkie Pie and jumping over Rainbow Dash, causing the pegasus to drive herself into the ground. He was then spotted talking to Svengallop and Countess Coloratura, as he swiftly got away yet again, only to mock the guards and run faster than anything anyone’s ever seen. Then the being somehow pulled out fans that could deflect stunning spell bolts, which the being said it was powered by, and I quote, ‘pure awesomeness’...then he proceeded to say ‘nope’ and run away when the guards summoned a storm.” The guard reports. “And the guards have put out a hunt for the being. The orders were to capture him, and not harm him. He was last saw heading to Whitetail Woods” He says, before closing the letter and seeing the Princess’s less than happy face.

Celestia put a hoof to her muzzle and took a deep breath. “Thank you my little pony. You’re dismissed.”

“Ma’am.” The guard says stoically before rushing off to his fellow guards.

“Not again…” Celestia muttered, getting up and walking through the gardens. “Another of those beings are here? But...how?”

“Something troubling you my dear friend?” A voice sang all around her, before a multi-limbed being appeared near her, the being about the size of a bird and rowing a boat towards the alicorn.

“I don’t have time for games Discord. Another one of them has appeared.” Celestia growls.

“Oh another one of those…how interesting. Well no worries my dear Sunbutt. I shall follow your rules and do absolutely nothing to the being.” His smile turned malicious.

“Discord please…” Celestia sighs out, rubbing her forehead gently.

“Nuh huh huh. I shall do exactly as the crown has stated and do nothing but watch. This should be a wonderful experience for all involved. Nothing but chaos created because ponies didn’t take the time to talk things out. And you said I was the chaotic one.” Discord uproariously laughed filling the entire gardens with his face which echoed his laughter.

“You know as well as I do why I ordered you not to engage these beings.” She sighs out. “Mother only knows how many problems when Benjamin was here...damned Illusionist.” She growled out.

“Now he was my kind of bloke. Should have had some tea and crumpets with him before he wound up turning half the guard insane. Oh how delicious that was.” Discord smirked.

“I’m just glad Jade was there to kick him back to his own world.” She sighs out. “But keep tabs on him, and report anything he does, whether good or bad.” She says, wanting to know what this new being has in store for this world.

“Ooh ooh I can make a highlight reel and we can have a huge movie premiere. I’ll call it ‘Story of a Stick!’ It will make millions!” Discord laughed out.

Celestia just got a little smile and shook her head. “Oh Discord, being as random as usual.” She says. “But I fear what havoc this new being will cause...it’s been one thousand years since they last appeared...but what could have caused them to reappear again?”

“Who knows. Either way at least I’ll make a buck while those hack writers Xinrick and Quartz make me millions.” Discord smirked before looking out in a certain direction and winking at Xinrick. Words that only Discord could read said ‘don’t do this too often ya cheeky bastard.’

With a snap of his fingers the words ‘no promises’ appeared behind him.

“Anyways, the report the guard gave me said he was running off to Whitetail woods...and my student told me her and her friends were confused on why the guards were trying to attack such a being...but added that he somehow helped Rara finally break out of her ‘countess’ persona and sing a wonderful song for the people of Ponyville.” She explains. “Does this mean he is good at heart? No. So be cautious Discord, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“Eh? As long as he doesn’t mess with that Parasprite Queen that’s been incubating her eggs in the Whitetail Woods then we should be fine.” With a snap of his fingers he disappeared.

“Wait what!?!” Celestia yelped in surprise, her eyes widening. “I thought that queen died three hundred years ago?” She muttered worriedly, before her eyes turn into pinpricks. “No...oh no oh no oh no…” She mutters, galloping towards the castle. “I just thought those were harmless flies!” She screamed, not believing Twilight somehow fucked up so hard as to let that many Parasprites breed. Celestia burst into her room, causing her pet phoenix Philomena to squawk in surprise. “Sorry Philomena, but I’ve got to warn Twilight and her friends.” She says quickly, using her magic to quickly grab an inkwell, a sheet of paper and a quill. After a quick amount of scribbling that basically amounted to ‘Stop that blue creature from getting to Whitetail Woods at all cost! Don’t let him awake the Parasprite Queen!’’, she rolled it up, wrapped a red ribbon and stamped it with ‘things bad happen’ on it and she sent it off to her student.

“Uh...your highness?” A maid calls out, knocking on her still burst open door. “Do you need ‘the usual’?” She asks, having a good feeling about her princess’s current state that ‘the usual’ is needed.

“Please…” She sighs out. “And double the chocolate please.”

“Yes princess.” The maid sighs out, pulling out a weird pink cloud and opening it like a phone. “Pinkie? We’re gonna need the usual, double chocolate.” She says over the ‘phone’.

“Okie Doki Loki.” The maid heard before the call ended.

“Faust help us…” The maid sighs out, turning around and walking out.

---

Celestia gently tapped her lips with a napkin, thankful for having her ‘Supreme Princess Meal’ once again. “Pinkie out did herself yet again.” She giggles, glad to have twelve different cakes stacked on top of each other and drenched in chocolate.

“Where does she put all that?” A guard whispers to his fellow stallion.

“Do you even want me to answer?” He whispers back, finding the answer quite obvious considering the Princess’s...sizable rear.

“Is there something wrong?” Celestia asks, causing the two guards to jolt.

“N-nothing ma’am!” The two guards stutter quickly.

“Anyways I’m feeling better.” Celestia smiles, gently burping after that. “Oh, excuse me,” Celestia giggles, knowing that only her guards can see her do something like that.

“You're excused ma’am.” The guards say at the same time, not surprised to see her more ‘relaxed’ when they were watching her stuff herself with a buck load of cake. Celestia got up and the maids quickly fixed up the table and got rid of the dirty dishes rather quickly, having to be trained to fix such a thing like this.

Celestia walked over to a large window and looked down towards Ponyville, and where Whitetail Woods was. “Please...be safe my little ponies…” Celestia mutters to herself, fear still nagging at the back of her mind at the thought of the Parasprite Queen awaking once again.

To be continued...

Author's Note:

What is this 'Parasprite Queen'? What sort of monster could scare the Solar Diarch so much? What has Simon gotten himself into this time? And will that butt load of cake actually go to Celestia's ass?
Celestia: HEY!
Well we won't figure it out until next time.

Again thank you so much QuartzScale for helping me with this story. This would have been in writers hell forever if it weren't for you my friend.