Story of a Stick

by Xinrick

Stick goes to the Frozen North

“Ugh, the hell happened?” I grumbled while waking up finally after all the dental work I needed.

“Oh you know. The usual. You fucked up your stomach and went into a two year coma. The guards sent you to Tartarus where you got to know your cellmate Bubba and the rest is history.” Discord muttered as he looked over the obituaries. “Also congratulations on your marriage to Peg the bread roller. She’s a keeper.”

I looked at the strange creature, never having actually met this guy. “Alright so...I’d like to actually wake up now.” I started.

“Oh that’s actually up to you. See you passed out from the cold and are about to die… in five more minutes. So yeah. Good luck with that.” Discord chuckled as he ripped a portal through space and time inside my head before zipping into it and leaving me alone.

“Guh..talk about a headrush…” I grumbled. “Also fuck it’s cold!” I yelped, barely able to feel my own body at this point. “Uh...fire!” I panicked while pulling out one of my fire weapons, a fire greatsword, and activated it as fire sprung from it, starting to heat myself up from almost dying of hypothermia. “A-a-alright...so…” I muttered while trying to take stock of where I was, which appeared to be in the middle of bum fuck nowhere on ice. “W-w-well...might as well...start somew-w-where…” I muttered while starting my way through the frozen wasteland to find some form of shelter, either by a town that managed to withstand this crap or a natural cave to get out of the wind.

Off in the distance was a shining red light sticking out of the snow… pointing out of the desolate wasteland that laid before me. I couldn’t tell the size of it but it was something I could trudge to while everything below the belt froze in the newly formed slush.

“W-well...that doesn’t look f-f-forbod-ding.” I stuttered from the cold as I walked towards the red light, my instincts already kicking in to tell me something evil was coming from the glow.

It just sat there. Menacingly!! Truly an entity of evil’s incarnate and drenched in the blood of the innocent. No one could escape the horror of… the Horn in the Snow. The small note that held those words blew through the wind but had enough sense to go in front of my eyes.

“Alright…” I muttered while moving over to the horn. “No...is this a severed horn, or is it still stuck to a person?” I wondered, kneeling down and grabbing the horn.

On contact the horn drained as much mana as it could from me forcing me to throw it away from the sudden jolt.

“Bitch!” I snapped. “Alright, demonic horn, good to know.” I said while using what mana I still had left to pull out a Holy Lance.

The horn sunk into the snow as the entire area started to shake. The earth quaked and snow whipped into a frenzy as the storm blew in. Lightning crack down from the sky leaving nothing but the darkness surrounding me. Then it started. A deep bellowing laugh that echoed throughout the land. The snow whipped into shape creating several ice shaped walls lined in crystalline spikes as lighting arced down charging them. The horn rose from the darkness as a body of flesh slowly grew down from the horn. Muscle formed as the eyes rose back from the depths of the newly formed skull. A full mane bloomed from the back waving through the wind wildly.

“After one hundred days I once again walk the lands of Equus. Gentlemen! I have returned!” Sombra bellowed to the skies in sheer elation.

“Excuse me, do you know where the hell I am?” I asked the obviously evil horse.

“IN YOUR DOOM!” Sombra cried out as he lit his horn hitting the side walls of the pen he made. The spikes began shooting out dark crystal spikes at the speed of a submachine gun. Over thirty rounds per seconds each of the two hundred and forty spikes that grew from the walls. Each channeling the powers of a storm in there ever growing number.-

“Sanctum!” I shouted in panic as I slammed my lance into the ground and a sphere of light surrounded me and blocked all the darts. “Who the hell are you if I may ask, and why did you suddenly attack me?”

“I just told you. YOUR DOOM! What else is there to get from that? Tina was much smarter than your boring blue ass palette.” Sombra scoffed as he shot his magic back into the spikes making the darts fire faster. “Also it’s good she told me how to overload holy shields with lightning spells.”

”Cause of course she did…” I thought to myself. “Alright then Dr. Doom, let’s see how you handle this.” I said while using my lance as a pole vault and jumping over the spikes that punched through the shield. “Gungnir!” I shouted as I lifted my empty hand as a spear of light appeared in it as I chucked it hard towards Sombra.

The body dissipated into shadows. With a quick pulse Sombra reformed before me and with a solid flying axe kick knocked me back down into the pen.

“You shall bow to Doom!” Sombra exclaimed… as if he knew the reference.

“Ow...also, did you get that reference or are you just playing along?” I asked while getting up quickly. “Also, you’ve met another Stick Figure before?”

“Reference? What reference? Unfortunately I have to meet yet another one dimensional character such as yourself. I mean look at you. I lay you down and it’s like you’re on paper. Disgraceful when one meets a king such as I. At least Tina had some sense behind her. She could even make her svelte form presentable.” Sombra completely ignored the question.

“Alright, just ignore my question…” I muttered. “Also, you’re a king?” I asked while looking around. “Of what? Nothing?”

Sombra lit his horn and increased the ice and snow. Without missing a beat the shadows used the ice and snow as gloves increasing their freezing prowess with shadows as all heat and light were stolen from the area.

“Just as you are nothing in this realm. A dime a dozen of the constant shadows running without purpose, continually floundering around killing one another because there is no other way. I would cry tears for you if only you weren’t so pathetic looking.” Sombra sneered… “But let me show you what I mean.”

Sombra’s eyes glowed a sickly green and with a very brave charge grabbed me by the face and stared deep into my soul.

As I sadly fell into his spell...all I saw around me was a misty swamp, enough light to at least see parts of the swamp but not enough to show the hidden creatures in it. “H-hello?” I asked nervously, trying to draw one of my weapons but only finding...a broken sword with purple ooze on it. “Oh...oh no…” I muttered in panic as I dropped the sword as the slime moved and started to smile up at me creepily.

“Time to feed.” The small slime thing chirped, the same phrase being repeated over and over by hundreds of them as purple ooze started to come out of the very earth and dead trees, everything sizzling as if touched by acid as the figure of Bog fully formed with a stupidly creepy smile.

“Fuck!” I panicked as I managed to bring out a normal lance and try to stab Bog, which the bastard took through the chest but only caused him to laugh and grab the spear.

“I love it when they struggle.” He hummed as my weapon started to dissolve in it’s acid. “Their fear makes them taste so much better.” It growled before back handing me through a dead tree.

“Yeah, just wake up in a swamp, only to meet Bog, the most threatening of all Stick Figures.” I muttered. “Yeah, that makes sense, how the hell did I end up-yipe!” I yelped as I ducked under a projective, a piece of Bog as it latched onto the tree and stared at me and laughed, causing me to run away in a panic.

“You’ll never escape.” Bog said in a sickly sweet tone, every dead tree seeming to just produce more of Bog. “You can’t hide.” Bog stated as a geyser of acid shot out in front of me, causing me to skid to a halt. “So prepare to die!” Bog shouted as he leaped out of the geyser with it’s mouth open, ready to bite me.

“No!” I shouted as I managed to bring out an enchanted weapon, a holy spear and managed to block it’s attack. “Just like so many others, they managed to defeat you.” I growled while pushing it back.

“Ha! Defeat?” Another Bog appeared out of the water. “They all ‘survived’ in their renditions of the fight, I am unkillable, GildedGuy figured that out first hand.” The acid monster said as he tried to swipe at me, only for me to dodge.

“Wait...Gilded…” I muttered as my eyes widened. “No...this isn’t real, this is just a Nightmare, and I think I learned how to beat it.” I muttered with a smile as I prepared myself for the fight. “Come at me Ivan Ooze, I’m right here!” I challenged the creature.

“You wish it was that simple.” Bog said as it slithered off as I chased after it.

“It’s gonna be that simple!” I shouted as I leaped forward and stabbed my Holy Spear into the ground, light starting to form on my spear.

Bog leaped into the air, grinning madly as part of his body reached out like a whip, curling and ready to snap at me.

I ran even faster towards Bog, zig zagging carefully to make him miss his swing as my spear glowed brighter, ready to strike against the acidic being.

As I inched closer I began to thrust the tip of my spear towards him. His whip like new appendage rapidly shot out and wrapped around my spear, burning my hands as it covered them too before thrashing me about the air and slamming me into the ground with pure brute force.

“Damn it…” I groaned in pain, trying to endure this pain as I managed to land on my feet and tug as hard as I could to pull him into me. “Alright you acidic bastard...get over here!” I shouted as I heaved to get him closer to me.

Right as I pulled several more tendril like limbs shot from his legs and back, jabbing into the ground and anchoring him. With a roar I began charging into him, his body splitting in half as my tip reached him. With a huff, I twisted mid air, bringing the spear into the side of his left half head.

I hit the ground with a thud, looking up to see his body fix itself into one piece, my spear tip still logged into the side of their head. “F-Fuck!” They groaned, gripping my weapon and pulling it out. A spray of their unique blood shot out all across the floor. “You- Little!”

He wobbled. Bloodloss was going to claim him but he wasn’t going down easy. He carried my spear, his limbs coiling in their liquid form and in a flash he sprang at me.

“Holy Lance!” I shouted, clapping my hands as the holy energy that was being stored up from my Spear suddenly flashed in Bog’s limbs, burning him with the sudden onslaught of holy energy.

Still, despite his own pain, he continued at me. He lunged, and stabbed; right into my left leg. “Little… bitch…” He spat, collapsing onto me as his body melted. Even dead, his acid burned me all across by body.

---

I woke up screaming, the phantom pains from the acid still stung my body hard.

“Impossible!” I heard Sombra swear nearby. “No creature could escape that Nightmare Curse.”

“Then you apparently forgot what Stick Figures are capable of.” I said. “Also fucking ow, being covered in acid hurts like hell…”

“What do you think I practiced these curses with?!” He shouted.

“So can we get back to the part where you just need a hug and not sending me into a nightmare dimension again?” I asked. “Cause seriously, before you threw me in that curse, you sounded depressed remembering your friends.”

“I am a King! I need servants! Not Friends! Not anyone to read with or go on picnics, or have hot, passionate intense sex with!”

“TMI there my guy.” I started. “Also it sounds like you had a girlfriend and...you're depressed you lost her.”

“What? No! I’ts not like she ment the world to me and her disappearance left me hollow and empty inside that only mass murder and conquoring barely filled.”

“Your first mistake was thinking mass murder and conquring would fix your problems.” I frowned. “Would this...Tina woman have actually wanted you to do any of that?”

“Well, probably not. But when your magic is naturally attuned to dark magic and necromancy there’s not much else you can do to vent your misery.”

“I mean...there are other ways to vent your misery.” I frowned. “Even with being attuned to dark magic and necromancy, like creating a band using some talented musicians' corpses.” I shrugged. “Considering I’m in candy land right now you all must like music right?”

“Oh you have no idea.” Sombra grumbled. “Sometimes some songs are good, most of the time it’s like, bleh, or meh. At least Tina had good taste in music. Your world's music just sounded better.”

“Well, a whole lotta people really like music back home, and liked to be ‘different’.” I shrugged. “So...let’s try to get back on the right foot here, the name’s Simon.” I introduced myself. “Who and...what are you?” I asked simply.

“King Sombra, last of the Umbrum race and recently returned from the grave.” He stated rather matter of factly.

“With a bit of my help and magic.” I nodded. “But...do you know why Tina left? Was she forced back to my world?”

“It was back when you lot were far more common. Dimensional rifts and all that. She managed to bring herself over, but kept an anchor back in your world so she could go back and forth at will. Unfortunately, when the rifts began closing, her anchor forced her back. She didn’t even get to say goodbye… Neither of us did. I was out getting breakfast and when I got back to our place… she was gone, and the rift’s residue saturated the place. Didn’t take much to figure out she was pulled back by her anchor rather than her usual back and forth travel.”

“Well...where’s your place?” I inquired. “Cause the rift’s are opening up again apparently, and...well maybe she’s there.”

“It’s been thousands of years both in your realm and this one. I survived because of a Curse I placed over the Empire, but she was… normal. Normal by your species standards anyway.”

“Weirder things have happened.” I brought up. “If I can meet a lady named Faust and she literally cut’s open a hole in reality, than I’m sure you can see Tina again.”

“Not unless one of you sticks can time travel…”

“Some can, but extremely rare…” I shrugged. “But can we at least get to your place so I can stop freezing my ass off here?”

They rolled their eyes. “Fine… Haven’t been there in a few thousand years. So don’t be surprised if it’s a mess.” Sombra sulked as he led the way through the seemingly never ending blizzard.

“Any shelter is better than nothing.” I said, trying to keep myself warm from this stupid blizzard.

We walked through the snow for what felt like hours until we arrived at a mountain side, also piled high with snow. With his horn lit up, Sombra moved a massive chunk of the snow aside, revealing a partly frozen crystal house built into the mountain side. His magic flung the door open and once inside, I was amazed at how much warmer it was in here. There wasn’t any fire but I saw vents that seemed to be blowing warm air out of them. “Natural underground hot springs and volcanic activity. Not enough to worry about, but better than constantly needing to use up firewood.” Sombra stated.

"Oh thank lord for warmth." I sighed out happily, steam already coming off of me from the snow melting quickly from all the heat.

“So, what are you looking for here?” Sombra asked, kicking aside some ancient plateware.

"I've been running around everywhere and or getting thrown all the way to my next spot for some reason...and all the reasons have involved me dealing with something or another." I shrugged.

“So you just… expect someone or something to be here?”

"I had to tell off at least two ponies for their bullshit, fought two other Stick Figures, one of which was a douche bag trying to eat sapient creatures, and then I had to deal with not dying to Changelings with a Queen that has a major vendetta against my race." I explained. "I also killed the Parasprite Queen in my world tour so far."

“Impressive. Which Parasprite Queen though?”

"I don't know." I shrugged. "It was near...Whitetail Woods from what I was told." I shrugged. "But I was also running from the police because they think I did something wrong."

"Heh. Let me guess, you swore in public?" Sombra chuckled. "Celestia's Royal Guard is a joke. Honestly. Compared to the Royal Guard back before, these new guards are laughable. Small matters they think the world of, meanwhile back before they handled real issues. Like demons, lich kings, myself, and Eldritch gods. Oh, and you lot of course." Sombra added. "These days it takes several battalions of their ranks to deal with a simple issue when back then one guard could slay a demonic Gore Nest. Pathetic."

“Damn.” I said in surprise. “Well...I suppose that’s what happens when nothing threatening happens in a long ass time.” I shrugged. “Plus it was because I ran away from them when I just woke up in the middle of town not knowing what Faust did.”

"Skittish like cockroaches I swear." Somra muttered.

Once the cold had left me I looked around. In regards of stuff there wasn't much really. A dusty couch. A dusty coffee table. Dusty floor. How does this much dust collect when there's nothing but snow outside?

As I wandered about I spotted a painting, caked in dust. Gently I brushed it off and I made out the images of Sombra, and his Stick Figure love, Tina.

Sombra in this picture was a lot different. Younger, no black flaming hair or curved red horn. Rather a normal unicorn horn and jet black mane.

Tina was tall, a full two feet over Sombra with long red hair. The two were smiling in this painting.

“This must be Tina huh?” I asked, seeing the auburn colored stick figure smiling warmly with the stallion.

"Yes.” Sombra nodded, looking down. "She was tall, tall by your race's standards. Especially for a female. Six and a half feet." He informed. "Was always something she was self conscious about. I always thought it made her who she was. Size, strength, yet easily scared, meek and shy. A true gentle giant, as the saying goes. Heh, that was actually her unique power. She could grow to incredible sizes, but six- five was the smallest she could shrink."

“That’s a pretty interesting ability.” I brought up. “Not a normal ability by any stretch...hmm, did she mention anything about where she lived?” I inquired, knowing plenty of regions that had individuals with rare abilities that were long lived.

"She never said the name but she said the endless snow here reminded her of home. It's why we built our place so far away from the Empire. Out here she could grow and dig into the mountain. Used to trade gems, ores and coal for food and such."

“Hmm...that sounds weirdly familiar…” I brought up. “And you said she made an anchor from our world and yours?”

"Yes. Despite her nature, she was brilliant. Loved to combine magic and technology together to create something new entirely. A branch of science all her own."

“Then I’m pretty sure she found some way to keep herself alive until she could see you again.” I chuckled. “Magitech has been a thing, but if she’s doing it all by herself then she must have figured something out.” I shrugged.

"Maybe." Sombra sighed.

“So is there a spare bed here?” I asked, the warmth and a semi feeling of safety making exhaustion slam into me like a freight train out of nowhere. “Cause I haven’t slept in...maybe more than a day and I haven’t done anything besides fight things…”

"Well, hmm… I do believe we kept something around here. Not many knew where we lived but… where did…" Sombra hummed as they looked through rooms and closets. "Here." Sombra stated.

Looking in the room, it was a small room with no window but an oil lamp and candle on the floor. In the corner of the room was a very simple cot bed with a single pillow and blanket. "You can use this, though be warned it's… unique." Sombra stated flatly.

“Will it try to kill me if I sleep in it?” I asked carefully.

"No no, nothing like that. It's… I want to say cursed but that's not quite right. Enchanted maybe? It's got a mind of its own and depending on the type of person you are it will influence your sleep and dreams. For me I always woke up feeling my back out of place and having the most disturbing nightmares. Tina woke up fresh as a spring daisy and had far sweeter dreams. I forget where we got it but we just left it in here with those two things." Sombra informed, motioning to the oil lamp and candle. "Same thing. Though more… useful. Lamp there will turn on when lifted, even without oil, and the candle will burn a certain color foretelling how your next day will be."

I walked over and lifted up the lantern, seeing it ignite happily, only for me to put it down gently. “So what color would it be for ‘being forced to another location and fighting someone’?” I frowned.

"Dark red." Sombra informed. "Want to try it out?"

“Please.” I nodded.

He magiced over me some matches and I lit the candle. The small fire glowed a dark red but also a calming reddish orange.

"Hm. Interesting." Sombra hummed. "both going to fight someone or something and gaining an ally. Rare for it to ever burn two colors at once."

"Goodie…" I sighed out. "Well...at least something good will happen." I yawned as I got into the magical cot. "Night…" I muttered, and when my head hit the pillow I was out like a light.

To be continued...