Chapter 17
Despite all the hysterics of recent events, once I was given an actual finite objective I’d quickly established my precious routine. From morning to night I’d barricade myself in my room with multiple boxes of random history. I only left my room by choice to get food, go to the bathroom, or to shower as necessary. Although I was, from time to time, forced from my room by a particular purple unicorn mare as she dragged me along to join her and her friends.
I planted my hooves into the floor of my room to try and root myself there, but to no avail. “Twilight no, I’m only on my fourth box. I really need to focus,” I groaned at Twilight, who had seized my tail in her telekinetic grip and had begun to literally drag me from my work.
“Rainbow has been waiting patiently for the past day, and now that she’s off bed rest she’s invited both of us to watch her flying session. Now get off your lazy flank and let’s go!” Twilight countered and gave another sharp tug on my tail, succeeding in dragging me several more inches from the papers and sending a small jolt of pain up my spine.
“Hey, watch it!” I shouted over my back at her. “That is connected to my spine you know. Why can’t you just go with one of the others?”
Twilight relaxed her magic around my tail, but didn’t actually release it. “Applejack and Pinkie are in a private session with Michael, Rarity is with Luna, and Fluttershy is still in the medical wing looking over the injured,” Twilight stated with an absolute certainty. “Now let’s get going, Harry,” she said as she yanked on my tail again.
I was sure that what she said was true. I’d seen that Twilight had chosen a coping mechanism that, under the circumstances, was probably the best available. She had chosen to cling to her friends harder than she ever had before. Over the past day Twilight’s friends had all spoken to her and offered what consolations they could, and in response Twilight offered them all of her free time. If one of her friends even suggested an activity for them to do, Twilight would find a way to make it happen.
While Twilight was giving her friends as much of her time as they wanted, the one she clung to the most was me. For the past day she had spent almost all of her time with me in my room helping me search through Canterlot’s records. I had asked her several times to go and unwind, but she refused every time, as though she were unwilling to leave me alone. Twilight even asked if she could stay with me instead of returning to her room the night after the attack. I obliged and offered her my bed, but she chose to take the large red cushion that was still sitting at the foot of my bed instead. I didn’t mind the company. In fact I was happier knowing she was nearby and physically safe.
Her coping mechanism wasn’t by any means a bad one. If you find yourself with a sudden hole in your life, it’s natural to try and fill it with other friends and family. While her friends were her salvation at the time, they could also be her ruin. Until Twilight found stability she would rely heavily on her friends, and if any of those friends were to meet the same fate as her parents, then she would likely be destroyed utterly.
All of this only meant that Twilight was going to go watch Rainbow, and she was going to bring me with her. Whether I went willingly or if she had to beat me into submission, was for me to decide.
“Fine, you win!” I cried as pain shot up my spine. “I’ll go, just let me grab one of these boxes. I might as well get some work done while we’re out.”
Twilight rolled her eyes at me and released my tail. With the sudden lack of a backward force, I very nearly face planted into my carpeted floor. I caught myself at the last second and stumbled forward into the large red cushion that Twilight had slept on. I flicked my tail to try and straighten it as the nearest box of papers was enveloped by my red energy and floated over to me.
“Come on, come on, come on!” Twilight squeaked and practically danced on the spot as I walked up to her. “We have to get to the Wonderbolt circuit now!” The look on her face was a tad closer to desperation than any actual desire to watch her friend. Our simple lateness was causing a bit more stress on the mare than I had expected.
“Would you calm down already? I’m going.” I drew even with Twilight and reached out a hoof to open my door, but stopped as I noticed an odd sense of warmth spreading across my fur.
I looked over myself to see what it was that was happening, and saw that a blanket of purple energy was enveloping me. I realized exactly what she was doing about half a second before she finished her spell. In a flash of bright purple light, I suddenly found myself standing in the bleachers around the Wonderbolt’s racing circuit.
I had never teleported before, and I found the process to be extremely unnerving. I had seen Twilight teleport herself and other objects before, and had even asked how she did it, but the resulting lecture almost made my brain implode from the sheer complexity of the magic. The transition was nearly instantaneous, but my entire body felt extremely warm as though I had been standing in direct sunlight for several hours.
I spun to face Twilight, who was standing next to me and looked winded slightly after the spell. “Warn me before you do that next time!”
“Well I had to get us here as soon as possible Harry. Whoa-” Twilight tried to take a step forward, but her forelegs moved sluggishly and she tripped over her own hooves. I reflexively jumped forward and ducked my head under Twilight so that her chest fell onto the back of my neck. The contact was met with an uncomfortable second or two of silence after which Twilight quickly got back to her hooves. “Thanks. I think that spell took a bit out of me. The further I teleport and the more I teleport with me, the more energy it takes.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I offered her a steadying hoof and walked her over to a nearby seat. Once she was situated, I sat down next to her to look at the open area in front of us. Rainbow’s practice session had already begun. There were several different pegasi darting around the circuit while practicing aerial maneuvers and several more arranged in a firing line and firing crossbow bolts at floating targets.
I looked around the field to try and spot the headstrong pegasus that Twilight had dragged me to come see. I found the multicolored mare up in the air performing complex maneuvers with her fellow pegasi. I couldn’t see her expression from where I sat, but something about the energetic speed with which she darted around the sky told me that she was happy to be out of her bed rest.
I sighed and looked back over at the spot where Twilight had teleported us to, and found the box of papers sitting on a bleacher. I levitated the box over so I could resume combing through it as Twilight simply watched her friend. I withdrew a book on more discoveries made by the Diamond Dogs and reopened it to my bookmarked page. I skimmed through it, only spending about fifteen seconds or so on any given page, but kept finding myself distracted by the mare next to me.
I noticed that as Twilight sat and watched her friend soar through the skies, she also visibly relaxed into her seat. Several of her muscles, particularly those around her shoulders and flanks, relaxed and let the tension that had been building there melt away. The simple act of being near her friends seemed to be letting her forget her troubles. I knew from experience that the simple absence of pain, even temporarily, is almost a drug in itself. I smiled at her and returned to my search.
Rainbow’s flight session didn’t last too long. We were only out there watching for about half an hour or so, during which very little was said between Twilight and I besides the occasional clarification of Equestrian history. At the half hour mark a loud whistle sounded from high above us. I looked up and saw that many of the pegasi were dispersing, and that one particular multicolored blur was shooting directly at us.
Twilight noticed Rainbow’s sudden change in direction and dove out of the way at the last second. Twilight’s dive brought her towards me and just a little bit forward, landing her just inside of my box of files. Rainbow came to a sudden halt with a loud thonk, as she landed just in front of where Twilight sat an instant before. While Rainbow’s trajectory didn’t actually put her in a collision course with Twilight, I could still understand Twilight’s reflex to dive out of the way. When something is hurtling towards you at blurring speeds, rational thought gets suspended and reflex takes over.
“Hey there Twilight, what are you doing in a box?” Rainbow said with a slight chuckle in her throat.
Twilight began worming around in the box of papers to try and get her hooves back underneath her, “Rainbow, I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t charge at us like that. It freaks me out every time.”
Rainbow chuckled again, “Yeah, sorry about that.” She turned her gaze from Twilight, who was only just dislodging herself from the box, and over to me. “Say Harry, what are you doing here?”
I glanced over at Twilight and raised an eyebrow at her, “I was under the impression that we were both invited.”
Twilight, now standing back on her hooves and out of her cardboard prison, smiled sheepishly at me and began pawing at the ground with her forelegs.
Rainbow shrugged at us and failed to hide a smug smile, “Whatever, the more ponies watching me the better I suppose.” Rainbow cast a slightly worried glance at Twilight and offered a sympathetic smile, “It’s good to see you already up and about, Twilight. I’d figured you’d be out of commission for a while at least.”
Ah Rainbow, as subtle as a train derailment in the middle of a city.
Twilight smiled back at her friend, but it was a forced and wooden sort of smile that didn’t go past the corners of her mouth. Several of the muscles around her shoulders and flanks tensed up again. “I’m alright Rainbow, really. I’ve been keeping busy helping Harry with his research. There’ll be time to mourn when the Red Court is gone.”
That perked my ears up a bit. It had only been a little over twenty-four hours since her parents’ death and Twilight was already discussing it semi-casually with her friend. Oh sure she was lying her flank off that she was okay. Anypony with any knowledge of reading body language could see that the topic was still extremely painful for her. Though despite that, her ability to remain more or less functional was very interesting.
Evidently Rainbow’s ability to read body language was on the same level as her subtlety. She flashed a quick grin at Twilight, “Well, that’s good to hear. You know, Applejack and I were going to grab some lunch in Canterlot later. Do you wanna join us?”
Twilight beamed again and turned to look expectantly at me. I raised an amused eyebrow in response, “You’re about to ask me to lunch aren’t you?”
“Well if you’re not doing anything,” Twilight chuckled.
I rolled my eyes at the mare and hefted myself from my seat as Twilight and Rainbow turned to leave. I wasn’t too frustrated at Twilight, in fact I was relieved. I didn’t want to admit it too myself, much less the others, but I liked her, a lot. Not only that but I nearly idolized her. Twilight’s whole life had been turned upside down in a relatively short amount of time, and she never stopped putting the safety of those near her above her own. She had the power necessary to protect those near her, and she used it. She personified the traits that I valued above all else, and it was hard not to dwell on that fact.
My relief came from the apparent control the Twilight was exerting over herself. If Twilight was able to keep herself together through sheer force of will, then she was stable enough to not need my help. If I was being brutally honest with myself, I wasn’t sure if I could leave Equestria if Twilight was still too unstable from recent events. However her actions showed that she was recovering relatively well, given the circumstances. I relaxed knowing that I could force myself to leave when this was all over. I wouldn’t like it, but I could shove my own desires aside if I needed to.
That was at least, until the day of Twilight’s parents’ funeral.
Two days had passed since Rainbow’s release from bed rest, and they had passed with an annoying lack of urgency. My time not spent escorting Twilight to and from her excursions with her friends were spent searching through an ever increasing pile of papers for an obscure piece of information. For the past two nights Twilight refused to use her bed and continued sleeping on the cushion at the foot of mine. To the best of my knowledge the only time Twilight had been alone for the past few days were the few minutes when she used the bathroom. On the morning of the third day however, all of that changed.
I let out a wide yawn and stretched on my very comfortable bed, feeling something like a high school student seriously weighing the benefits of sleeping in against the cost of missing a final exam. I eventually kicked myself into movement and sat up from my bed and took stock of my room. Over the past few days I’d gone through several more of Canterlot’s records, in which the closest thing to a reference of this ‘Life Drinker’ was a small collection of horror stories. These papers were all piled haphazardly next to my desk. Although what had caught my attention was that the large cushion where Twilight was sleeping was vacant.
My immediate thought was one of worry for Twilight. Given what had happened recently, if Twilight’s actions were suddenly changing and she was seeking seclusion rather than her usual companionship, then that was a very bad sign. I hopped down from my bed and looked around, hoping for some clue as to where she had gone. I didn’t have to search for very long.
On the ground near Twilight’s cushion was a small piece of black-lined paper. It became wrapped in my red magic as I it levitated it up to read it. I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach as I realized what had happened. The letter was an invitation to the funeral of Twilight’s parents. According to the letter it was going to be an early service, just after midday. I didn’t know where Twilight was but I knew where she was going to be. I could only hope that she was going to be alright in the meantime.
I set about my established daily routine, trying to ignore the sense of dread that was growing in the back of my mind. I set out for a large meal somewhere around ten or eleven and swamped myself in my work, all the while becoming increasingly aware of how close I was getting to the event of the day.
About an hour after I had eaten there was a knocking at my door, and before I could answer, it swung open. A slightly distressed Applejack entered and looked intently at me. “There you are. Why aren’t you with the rest of us?”
I blinked in response to the sudden intrusion, “Uh, what?”
Applejack sighed and shook her head in disbelief, “The funeral, Harry. We’re all going to go to the funeral to support Twilight as a group.” Her eyes became worried as she looked around the room, “Speaking of which, where is Twilight? We all kind of assumed she was in here with you.”
I shook my head at her, “I don’t know. She was gone when I woke up and I didn’t bother trying to find her. With her abilities she wouldn’t be found if she didn’t want to be.”
This news clearly disturbed Applejack. Her eyes darted around in her head as she tried to imagine where Twilight could have gone. “Well shoot, I was counting on being able to walk her there.” She looked back up at me, “Well let’s get going Dresden. Just because she’s not here doesn’t mean she won’t show up.”
I nodded my head in silent agreement and hefted myself from Twilight’s cushion. I followed her out of my room and down the hallway. At the bottom of the staircase we ran into the rest of Twilight’s friends. Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie were all waiting patiently to meet up with us before we all left. The only one missing was Michael for some reason.
“Where’s Twilight?” Fluttershy asked as soon as we came into view and it became clear that Twilight wasn’t with us.
“She’s not here,” Applejack answered. “Dresden said she’s been missing all day.”
Several whispers sounded between the mares as they looked nervously between each other.
“Now now, I’m sure there’s no need to worry,” Rarity said aloud and offered a reassuring smile. “I’ll bet she’s already there and waiting for us.”
“Let’s get going,” I grunted at the group. “I want to get this over with.”
“I can understand that. Haven’t been to too many funerals?” Applejack asked me as the rest of the group began moving down the hall.
“No,” I responded and stepped past her. “Been to one too many.”
I followed the mares through the castle in complete silence. Pinkie wasn’t anywhere near the same level of depression she was after the Red Court attack, but she was being respectfully silent. I assumed that our destination was a painful reminder of her choice or lack thereof. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow each walked onward in awkward silence and glanced at each other uncertainly, clearly unsure of how they were supposed to react to their situation. Applejack was the only pony that seemed to be fully aware of the situation and wore the proper respectful solemn expression.
Our route led us out of Canterlot Castle’s front gate and around to the side of the castle. After a relatively short walk I found myself standing in front the gates to a small but incredibly ornate graveyard. The whole area was hidden behind the castle’s bulk so you wouldn’t be able to find it unless you were actively looking for it. Even though it was hidden away, the view of the castle grounds and of the rolling hills in the distance was simply amazing. If I could choose my final resting place, I couldn’t do much better than the cemetery behind Canterlot Castle.
As we stepped through the front gates, I saw that we weren’t the only ones there to pay respects. There were at least three other groups within easy view past the front arches. The majority of the ponies in these groups appeared to be nobles of one standing or another. The stallions all wore fancy tuxes and the mares all wore black dresses. A few even wore some of those dark veils that hid their faces, though in many cases their muzzles poked out from underneath the veils, ruining the effect somewhat.
We ignored the other groups of mourners, with more than a few sympathized glances in their direction, and pushed towards one of the plots further to the back. I knew we were in the right spot the second we reached it, mostly because Celestia herself stood over two freshly dug graves each with a closed casket hovering over them. The two caskets and gravestones were some of the most ornate I had ever seen, the stone was pure white marble with golden filigree and the caskets were polished mahogany. Celestia had definitely followed through with her promise for a royal burial. At a closer inspection, I found my two missing friends.
Michael stood in-between the two caskets and was whispering some silent prayer while making crossing movements with a foreleg. Twilight stood slightly in front of the graves and looked as though she were made of marble. Twilight stood perfectly still as she watched Michael pray, her stone-faced stare betrayed none of the emotions behind her eyes. It appeared as though the only ponies invited were my team, Michael and I.
The rest of Twilight’s friends moved forward towards her and began offering whispered condolences as soon as they got close enough to do so. To which her only response was a slight flickering of her ears. I moved past them to get at Michael.
“Michael, hey Michael,” I whispered as I drew closer.
Michael wrapped up some final prayer before turning back to face me. “Hello Harry. I must admit, I’ve rarely seen better resting places than these.” He gestured at the plot of land around the two caskets. I figured that it would be better for all involved that the caskets would be closed. Vampire claws don’t leave their victims looking at all decent.
I waved a hoof dismissively, “Yeah yeah, it’s nice. But how long has Twilight been here? She’s been missing all day.”
Michael looked over my back at Twilight with a serene expression that was one part sympathy and two or three parts of something close to approval. “She’s been here for at least an hour. I arrived early this morning to prepare the spaces and sanctify them as best I could. Twilight arrived a while ago and hasn’t said a word.” Michael looked intently at me and actually smiled a bit, “She’s been thinking very hard Harry, and I can’t really say I disapprove.”
I blinked uncomprehendingly at Michael, “What are you-“
Michael cut me off with a wave of his own hoof, “Never mind that for now. We need to move away for Celestia.”
Michael swept a hoof to gesture me away from the graves and back over at the mares. I ignored Michael’s odd words with a shake of my head and took my place among the rest of Twilight’s friends. As I neared them Rarity and Fluttershy shifted to give me room. I nodded my thanks and took my place at Twilight’s right side.
As soon as we cleared away Celestia took a few steps forward until she was positioned between the two coffins. Celestia lowered her head so that it was level with the caskets. Her ethereal mane fanned out to obscure both her own head and the coffins on either side. I could hear a few words echoing from under that mane and felt a subtle stirring of power.
I craned my head over to whisper into Rarity’s ear, “What’s Celestia doing?”
“It’s the Princess’s final words,” Rarity whispered back. “It’s a tradition Princess Celestia started long ago to honor those that have done some great service. Only the Princesses are permitted to even know what they say. It is an enormous honor.”
At that point Celestia evidently finished whatever it was that she was doing and drew away from the coffins. Maybe it was just my imagination but the caskets seemed to be glowing slightly, or that could have just been because of simply being in close proximity to the Princess of the Sun. “May you find peace with our father,” Celestia said aloud as the caskets lowered into ground.
The distinctive power I’d felt her collecting dissipated into the air around us. As Celestia’s magic faded, I felt a sudden weight against my left side. Twilight’s face remained as stoic as ever even as she leaned against me for support. I smiled at her and reflexively used my left foreleg to draw her a little closer and patted her on the back. I heard her sniffle a little as I did so.
A pile of earth near the grave site became enveloped by Celestia’s magic and followed the caskets down into the ground. In short order the ground over the graves became perfectly level and even began to grow a decent amount of grass.
Her job done, Celestia strode over to us. As soon as she was close enough she leaned her head down and nuzzled her student affectionately, her mane washed over me as she did so. “I am so very sorry for your loss, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight offered no response apart from continuing to lean against me. Celestia took this as a desire to be left alone, and acted as such. In a flash of brilliantly white light, that left several spots in my vision, Celestia teleported from the graveyard.
As soon as my sight returned to normal I gave Twilight another calming pat and spoke to her in what I hoped was a hopeful tone, “Don’t worry Twilight, everything will turn out okay. I know we’ll get the things that did this.” A sudden brainwave hit me and I went with it. “Why I’ll bet that long after we’re done here and Michael and I go home, you’ll be back to hanging with your friends and will get back to doing what you love.”
That had been the wrong thing to say. The instant the words left my mouth Twilight stiffened against me and her stony mask finally broke. Her face became an expression of intense pain and despair, at least momentarily. One second after her mask broke she became enveloped by flash of purple energy and she too teleported away. With the sudden lack of support, I stumbled forward a step before I could catch myself. I turned around to see Michael and five distraught mares looking at with varying levels of worry.
“What’d I do wrong?” I asked the group at large.
The mares began whispering amongst each other again. Fluttershy mumbled something about having several patients waiting for her and departed back towards the castle. The rest offered their respective excuses and quickly followed Fluttershy back up to the castle.
I looked hopelessly over at Michael, who was the only one remaining, “What’d I do wrong?”
Michael offered me a sympathetic smile and patted me on my shoulder, “Maybe it’s time for you to get back to work Harry.” He turned and made for the castle as well, “Now I think I should go help Fluttershy in the medical wing. They’re still very understaffed unfortunately.”
Now by myself and extremely confused, I turned to follow after Michael and towards my bedroom, “What’d I do wrong?”
For several hours I sat alone in my darkened room with yet another box of random information for me to peruse, a pastime that I was very quickly becoming sick of. A half eaten dinner tray sat on my desk, I didn’t feel terribly hungry. The only light in my room came from a small candle that sat on my desk and the dim light that seeped from under my door. I was only half paying attention to the pages I was sifting through. My thoughts just didn’t want to focus on the matter at hoof, and instead continued dwelling on Twilight’s reaction at her parents’ funeral. I felt a phantom sensation along my left side where Twilight had leaned against me. I rubbed a hoof against my fur to try and get the soft feeling to leave, but just couldn’t coax away.
A soft knocking sounded against my door just before it opened slightly. Twilight poked her head around the door and looked at me with nervous eyes. “Harry, are you busy?”
My side began tingling again and I tried to push it to the back of my mind. I picked up a book from the box in my magic to give myself something to look at other than the mare at my door. “No more than usual. Please, come in.”
I heard her hoofsteps as she entered the room and closed the door behind her. She took a deep breath and seemed to be steeling herself for something as she took a few steps closer to me. “Harry, p-please don’t leave.”
Her words didn’t really register as I continued looking at the book floating in front of my face. “Hm, what was that?”
I felt a sudden disturbance against my fur as something had gotten close enough to shift the air pressure around me. I lowered the book and turned my head to face whatever the invading presence was. Once I turned to face the rest of the room I saw that Twilight had moved extremely close to me. She stood maybe an inch or two away from me, well within my personal space.
My heart immediately went from at rest to my extreme anxiety pace. On some level I knew exactly why she was this close, but the logic driven portions of my brain were still catching up. As a result my only response to this extreme closeness was to sit perfectly still and watch for Twilight’s next move, and she did not leave me waiting. Sensing my hesitation, Twilight pushed forward the last few inches and kissed me.
The sensation was nearly indescribable. The fur around her mouth made for the softest kiss I had ever enjoyed, and the warmth emanating from her was more comforting than I thought possible. She made no attempt to take the kiss further than simple lip contact. Her mouth did not part for tongue access and she didn’t press forward for a more intimate embrace, her only desire was to have the base contact that we were engaged in. The small twitches of her finer muscles said much more however.
The lines on her face weren’t those of one enjoying a close moment with another, but were much sadder. At this close range I could see that the fur around her eyes was damp; she had been crying, and recently. She was very stressed and nervous, that much was clear. Though all the tiny twitches I could see running through the muscles under her fur across her body made it abundantly clear that despite all of her fear and anxiety she was very excited, perhaps even desperate for this attention.
As for my own emotions, that familiar voice in the back of my head began doing back flips and kicked the rest of my brain into submission. For one second, one glorious second, my brain shut off and I felt nothing but joy at the intimate contact that had been denied me for so long. I returned the kiss, for one whole second I closed my eyes and leaned against her lips, reveling in the simple closeness. I was reminded of why the affection of another was prized above almost everything else.
But then my thoughts returned as my mind caught up with the rest of me. My eyes snapped open again and I backed away from Twilight. She leaned forward a little as I backed away until our distance forced our muzzles apart. I backed away from Twilight about a foot until I felt my flank bump against the side of my bed. I just sat there and stared at the mare, my mind reeling at what had just happened, and at how good it had felt. My heart was nearly beating its way out of my chest as my breath tried to match its pace. Several of Twilight’s recent reactions suddenly made much more sense and seemed blatantly obvious in hindsight. I don’t have many mental blind spots, but when I do, they’re a mile wide.
Twilight backed away a step and seemed to try to shrink into the floor, much like Fluttershy. She hid her face in her hooves and began shaking a little, “I-I’m sorry. It’s just that since day one, you’ve made it clear that you’re only visiting. That once the Red Court is gone, you’ll leave too.” She looked up from her hooves and locked her saddened eyes with mine. “But I don’t want you to leave. I feel better when you’re around. When I’m near you, I’m not afraid.” She offered a weak smile, “When I’m near you, I feel… safe.” Her smile wilted and desperation crept into her voice, “When the Red King was choking you and I thought I was going to watch you die, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.” She locked her eyes with mine, the desperation rising in her voice, “You don’t have to leave, remember that Luna said you could stay. Please, please don’t leave me.”
My thoughts very quickly devolved into a confused mess of conflicting emotions and desires. That little voice in the back of my head practically began screaming at me to take her offer at face value, but I reined it in and reminded myself of my duties. I was still a warden of the White Council.
“Twilight, I-I can’t,” I stammered and began shaking my head. “I can’t give you what you want. I am a warden. Once I’m done here I need to be able to leave; and if I started something with you, I’m not sure if I could.”
“But why?” she yelled and hopped back to her hooves, taking a much more aggressive stance even while a slow trickle of tears began to fall from her eyes. “You said it yourself, the White Council are a bunch of corrupt backstabbing jerks!” She took a step forward. “Your life there is nothing but constant fighting, pain, and heartache. You put your life on the line for an organization that wouldn’t lose a minute of sleep if you died protecting their hides. Why would you ever want to fight for them?”
I swallowed and tried to ignore the echoing of her words in my head. I had asked myself every one of those same questions at some point on my life, and my answer was almost always the same: self-preservation. I had done the vast majority of the jobs and fighting that I’d done in Chicago because I’d have been skinned if I didn’t, especially whenever the White Council was involved. But in this instance, self-preservation wasn’t a viable excuse. The White Council had no influence in Equestria, they had no way to force me to play along. Outside of honor bound duty to a bunch of ‘corrupt backstabbing jerks’, there was just nothing forcing me to go back to the White Council.
Also I kind of doubt the White Council would risk angering two immortals just to get at me. That’s if they even think I’m still alive. Considering how long I’ve been gone, they probably think I’m dead.
That thought weighed heavily in my mind. I mentally pictured the few friends I’d made in the course of my career. How they might’ve been worrying about me the entire time I was helping in Equestria. It hurt that they might’ve thought me dead. All of my closest friends on Earth had stood by my side in one or more fights, and I had protected them with a single-minded intensity. That’s not to say that they’re weak and needed the protection, far from it. More often than not they’d wind up saving my hide as much as I did theirs. But they were still my friends, and I wanted to protect them.
I shook my head and tried very hard to make my voice sound as resolute as possible, because my feelings sure weren’t, “It’s not just for the White Council. I have friends there, they need my help.”
“You have friends here,” Twilight countered. “We need your help.” She took another step forward, getting back into my personal space but not quite as close as before. “There’s also you, Harry. I saw many things in our soulgaze, most of it took me a while to understand. I know you use your emotions as a weapon against your enemies and that you relentlessly protect those around you, but I also know… that you’re alone.” She looked me full in the eyes and her gaze didn’t waver a bit. “You fight for those you care about, but always return to a cold empty home. You aren’t meant to live like that.”
That had thrown me off balance a bit. It was true that after a hard day’s work of protecting the city of Chicago from a bunch of threats few even believed in, all I had to come home to was the promise of safety behind the magical defenses of my home. My laughable attempts at a love life swam to the forefront of my mind. The worst of which was Susan, who wasn’t even technically human anymore because of her proximity to me. I quickly threw around for something, any argument I could use to make Twilight see that this was a mistake.
“Twilight no, It’s because of me that the Red Court is even here,” I pleaded. “I’ve played a part in all of this pain.”
“I don’t care,” Twilight whispered and drew a little closer. One of her hooves found its way onto my shoulder. “I don’t care what you’ve done. I just want you to stay, with me.”
My mind nearly exploded as I searched desperately for some legitimate reason to deny her. She had shot down all of my usual methods of escape. My only option left was to bluntly refuse her and hope against hope that she’d take it well.
I raised a hoof to rest against her chest and began pushing slightly, but my foreleg didn’t want to move. Beyond the simple effort to raise it, the muscles of my forelegs refused the order to push Twilight away. I opened my mouth to give voice to my refusal, but my vocal cords went silent. In the absence of physical movement, my brain finally pumped out the question I had been afraid to ask myself.
What if I said yes?
Unbidden images ran through my head as my mind went into overdrive. A phantom image of us after the defeat of the vampires floated to the top. Twilight and I stood proud over a gathered crowd of citizens and guardsponies, while Celestia herself moved to thank us. That image was replaced with the inside of Sugarcube Corner. Twilight’s friends, I, and even Silent Night sat around one of the larger tables the eatery offered and enjoyed some celebration Pinkie had cooked up. Silent even passed me those hay fries he still owed me. Lastly I thought of the place I might call home, Twilight’s library. I saw the literal tree house and its vibrant foliage maybe even with a little white fence out front, and wondered what it would be like to actually live there.
I could do it, I thought to myself. I could stay here. Haven’t I fought enough, been through enough? I could stay here, and be with Twilight. I could be happy. That’s a good enough reason, isn’t it?
In short, no it wasn’t, at least not by itself. I had always put my duty before my personal desires. If it came to it, I would sacrifice my own happiness or peace of mind if it meant the continued existence of those I cared about. I had done so before after all. Which was why Twilight’s last few words changed things.
If was just a matter of my own desires against my duties, then it wouldn’t be much of a contest. I could force myself to leave, I wouldn’t like it but I’d do it. Twilight’s words had added the necessary weight to unbalance the whole thing. She had given me a reason to stay for something other than my own wants. She truly didn’t care about the dangers of being near me. She desperately wanted me to stay, and stay with her.
Too many conflicting thoughts entered my mind and my head became a battlefield, raging on at the speed of thought. Could I abandon my previous life for the promise of a better one? Could I let go of my several personal grievances with the numerous monsters that roamed the Earth? Could I abandon my friends on Earth and still live with myself? Could I crush Twilight in her time of need and still live with myself? All of these questions coursed through me and the pain of simple indecision was enough to make me grind my teeth down to the nubs.
As suddenly as the war started, it was silenced. The questions and emotions driving my internal conflict were still there and were still conflicting with each other, but they were muted slightly as a third force sounded in my mind. It was not the voice reminding me of my duties to the White Council and to my friends on Earth. It was not pointing out the happiness and high survivability a life in Equestria offered. It was my base nature, the base system from which I derived my values and how I defined who I was. It simply pointed out several of the more important facts, and did so loud enough so that it drowned out all other thoughts and made it impossible to ignore.
Fact one: Twilight’s world was becoming darker by the day. She was now reaching out to try to fill the hole that had been left in her life and it would take something more than mere friendship to fix. Fact two: Twilight’s parents died as a byproduct of my ignorance, and unlike Susan, I could still make things better for Twilight. Fact three: I would make things better for her. I wanted to see her smile again. I wanted to stay, I really wanted to stay.
“I... I’m not…” I mumbled as the last of those thoughts clicked into place.
I felt it when my resolve wavered and fell. I lunged forward and wrapped my forelegs around Twilight as I hugged her as deeply as I could. The hug dragged her the remaining distance towards me and her chest bumped against mine, and then it was my turn to take her breath. My eyes closed as I brought my muzzle to hers. Caught off guard by the sudden movement, Twilight paused for half a second before she returned the embrace. One of her forelegs wrapped tightly around my back while the other was placed at the back of my neck as she returned my kiss, pulling me closer for a more intimate embrace. I felt her let out a relieved sigh through her nose and could practically hear her smile on the exhale, which made me smile in return.
I’ve had enough of this. Michael tells me to follow my heart? Fine. Dad tells me to protect those close to me? Done. The White Council wants me out of the picture? Wish granted. Earth is not my responsibility. I’ve found a pony that I want to be with and wants me in return, and I’m not about to just let that go.
After several seconds I broke the kiss to instead nuzzle just under Twilight’s left ear and held her a little tighter, “I’m not going anywhere, Twilight.”
Twilight drew away from the embrace without actually breaking contact. She had begun crying again, but she didn’t look the least bit sad, she was ecstatic. Her smile spanned across the entirety of her face and every muscle in her body relaxed as though a heavy burden was just lifted from her. She was the happiest I had seen her during my short time in Equestria.
“Thank you.” She leaned forward and rested her head against my own, our horns crossing as she did so. “Thank you so much, Harry.”
I smiled at her and stood up from my seat on the floor. I turned around and hopped onto my much more comfortable bed, followed closely by Twilight. Twilight and I lay down and simply enjoyed each other’s silent companionship. I lay on my bed facing the door and with my hooves tucked neatly against my body. Twilight stepped over me to curl up against my back. Her hooves tucked against her own body as I felt her snuggle up against me. She rested her head on my neck as though I were a pillow and shifted slightly to get more comfortable. Through our contact I could feel her chest vibrate as she hummed contentedly.
Even though it was still relatively early in the night, I suddenly felt fairly tired. The papers I’d been searching through lay forgotten next to my bed. With one eye open I silently watched Twilight fall asleep on me after a long and troubling day. For the first time in a long time I felt genuinely happy. At that moment I didn’t have a single care in the world. I lay my head back down on my pillow and felt myself swiftly drift off to sleep with a smile on my muzzle.
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whoo! Score one for common sense in the romance department!
1675396
But Dresden is a wizard, they don't HAVE common sense
This sounds awkward to me somehow, maybe remove the in? Say meditating? I dunno.
Also, damn if I'm not curious about how you're planning on getting Dresden back to Earth. Going from the most common tropes and how Dresden usually works, I suspect he'll either burn the bridge to the NeverNever while he and Michael are on the wrong side, or the passageway can't be sealed this time without him being on the other side, maybe even helping close it off or something. Or will it be a plot hook from the seventh book grabbing him? I can't recall what the seventh one dealt with specifically, but there's been quite a few major threats to his region that I don't think he could ignore, even after recognizing that there aren't really any concrete ties to the area.
1675396 And score -1 for leaving his home to die.
its nice to see something good is happening to Harry for once. i hope that he can keep the relationship going
I just feel bad about Harry towards the end there. I mean it seems like every time he finds some sort of happiness, some sort of break in the mad chaos that is his life... the universe turns a complete 180 and crushes it. What I am trying to say here is that I don't see this relationship turning out well in the end and that this story will have a bittersweet solution in its final moments. Besides, I highly doubt that Mab would give Harry up without a fight.
Somehow I think that this decision will come back to haunt him till the end of time. . .
He left himself open for pain, and Murphy's and Finagle's Laws are gonna come in and wreck house. Even worse than now.
For those of you who don't know:
Murphy's Law: "If parts can be assembled a right way and a wrong way, they will be assembled the wrong way."
Or, in other words, "If there is a possibility of it going wrong, it will."
Finagle's Law: Sometimes called "Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives." A simplified version is this:
Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment.
1675768
Secenth?!
I find this ironic on so many levels.
1675821
Just because he's planning on staying, doesn't mean he can't step over or check in every so often, you know? 
1675734 psh, please... since when has that ever stopped it from showing up?
Man, right in the feels.
I dont care if you screw up the book series writing this
( in fact I would be VERY happy if Harry stayed )
I dont care if you screw up the book series writing this
( in fact I would be VERY happy if Harry stayed )
1676069
Ah screw logic and common sense. This is a fimfic! WOOOO HARRY MUST STAY!
I half expected him to martyr his way out of Twilight's affections, telling her that he has a responsibility to protect those who can't protect themselves on earth so he can't love her.
I must say I like the alternative far more. Though it's still probably gonna bite him in his pony ass somewhere along down the line.
Very well done, MOAR.
P.S. Waiting for Cold Days is killing me.
1679381
Except of course for all the stuff he leaves behind on Earth. . . some of which most assuredly wants him dead. Who's to say more nasties won't be able to find him? And by extension, Equestria. Like Nicky. . .
1681032
That my friend is what we call sequels
My face when he gets sucked back into our world by the death curse of the red king or some such
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And Dresden finally gets the hint! I was worried that I would have had to get my clue-bat out.
i know this is an AU story, but him leaving earth is really OOC for harry. as is said in many of the books, he has this power, he can't not use it. a lot of people depend on him in chicago, and even though he regularly gets the shitty end of the stick, he has a job.
this chapter was just a little too OOC for me...
5038290 I have a feeling this will end like most of dresdens other stories. A bittersweet victory and a return to his old home
An interpretation of me through this chapter;
RD training: Best Pony is coping, that's good. Hopefully she-
Funeral announced: Oh sweet Celestia, hear come the feels.
Funeral: God bless you Micheal, I'm so sorry Twi, Harry you moron!
Twilights confession: Aww!... But, Harry is the sacrificial hero. He can't stay with his friends back home at war. NO HARRY, DON'T PUSH HER AWAY, don't break her heart, don-
Harry accepts: YES! For once, they say yes! Harry lets himself be happy! Love is realized! Author did something unexpected! DAY MADE!!