The group walked laughing to each outer while walking down a 'heavenly' stretch of ally way. The lead filly by the name of Trash came up to her coltfriend and nudged him on the side and asked with a sinker "How about our latest victim? That little whimppy blank flank in that ally?" She finished with a loud laugh. During that time she was not paying attention to her surroundings and tripped in somepony's frozen urine that created a of disgusting ice. as soon as she placed her hoof on the patch she slipped onto her flank and earned a big black and blue spot right by her cutie mark.
Keven (Yha, thats a strange pony name.) looked to her and laughed histarrcaly at the seen in front of him "Oh, by Celestia..HA HA HA...She-she fell on her- then-then....." He is cut off by a stick making contact with his face and he fell to the ground cradling his face and crying like a baby.
Trash turned to the orange colt and yelled "NOW THAT SHOULD TEACH YOU TO LNOT TO LAUGH YOUR LEATER, DIRTBAG!!!!!! " she finished with bucking him in the face and causing the rest to laugh.
After that moment, a crazy, old drunken mare threw some used toilet paper at them "Ya' better shut up now, before Ah' shove ya' all in the binn...HAHAHAHA...AH!"
Seesaw turned to the old mare and got the bright idea to have her as there next victim "Yo, Hunters why don't we show who's, who's." she finished with a evil smile on her face.
The others turned and looked to her with agreeing smiles on there faces.
=== 5 minutes later==
"LET US OUT!" The for yell all at once. The crazy mare just tapps a hoof on the lid and laughed.
"No! Ya' kids will be punished. Hee, hee, hee."
I see you took my advice
7314417 ya, I decided to turn it into a comedy, so how was this chapter? The reason that it was so short was because I just got finished with the first chapter of my up coming story, Life is a Highway. Be shore to look forward to it.
7314486 meh the last chapter was funnier but sense I compared it to cool cat saves the kids so I was kinda hoping there would be a reference or something like that but have you ever seen cool cat saves the kids?
7314486 PS I would prefer if you just focused on this story please
7314525 I don't think so. I never seen it.
7314752 it's really funny at least watch a review of it it'll make the butch the bully comment make sense
7502855 thanks!
... The lead bully has the name Trash, and she has the nerve to go around bullying homeless ponies? uh huh...
Surprised she's not the one being bullied, haha.
Well I'm done reading this for now, and well... the story is a decent premise, but it has a few issues.
One thing are the typos... typos everywhere, those need to be fixed dude, that and the paragraph situation is a bit jarring. It looks like you spaced it instead of hitting the tab button in places and... eh.
And how Scootaloo and them spoke last chapter, it didn't feel... right i guess, it felt jagged.
That doesn't feel right, and its like that in other parts.
Suggestion.
Just a thought.
SO... my advice... get an editor, I'd do it but I suck at it and I am not free to do so unfortunately. But good job on this, you've earned a thumbs up and a fav, so keep it up, and you can do better.
Peace out till next time.
7502865 also the next chapter is coming out some time soon, I plan on the chapter to be 2,000 to 3,000 words.
Her name is CoCo Pommel, btw. (You have it spent pommal in your story description.)
7551496 Fixed.
7767303
Awesome!
7767303
Awesome!
7767633 plus I got a new story up, apon the winds of time.
7768003
I'll check em out when i can dude, hehe
7768218 ok.