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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great chapter I like it
9064485
Thanks. Anything you liked about it?
9064722
The sparring match was interestingly written
9065646
Thanks. What did you think about the name Bryan gave to his sword?
9065686
The name he gave to his sword is fitting
9065717
I’ve been thinking about giving his sword a name for awhile. Glad it worked out.
9065721
Well you chose a great name for the sword
9066444
Again, thanks.
This story in a nutshell.
1. This happened.
2. Then this happened
3. Then this happened
Ad nauseum
9077353
Um, context, please? I’m lost.
9077409
I am saying this.... text youve written reads less like a story and more like a list. Instead of action flowing from one point to the next, or there being any sort of onus of the characters you resort to just saying. "Cliche merchant equestria begining, then demons, then we fought demons and that was a bad thing, then the ponies thought we were evil, but then they were our freinds." None of that meant anything. Story that should have taken 10 times as long to be established or at least fleshed out even somewhat is just given to us in bullet points. This story is less drama more a power point in which each slide is a breif description of an event without anything tying them together.
This is the equivelent of a 4chan greentext story, just without the self parody.
9078032
Yeah, my bad.
Yes! finally caught up with your story!
it's really good chapter by the way
9148647
Thanks. Anything in particular you liked?
9148828
The moments with Palueta
9148835
Oh, how so?
9148893
they way she was a contrast to the Berserker
9148899
Huh. Mind giving an explanation, please? Also, what do you think about the name Berserker gave his sword?
9148912
Sorry, just like her character, anyway Hell's Bane is a good name. I did like the sparing match.
9148919
Cool.