Pawns

by Corah Il Cappo

Castling

Nightshade strode alongside the train tracks as she pursued her quarry. The steel girders were impossible to make out in the pitch black night, so she had lit her horn with a soft purple glow to illuminate her path. The darkness was a good sign. She cast her eyes skyward, and saw no trace of the moon, nor the stars. The heavens had been dyed an inky black from which no light shone forth. It was painfully obvious that Luna was unable to lift either of them tonight. She had been weakened, if not killed outright in her fight with Sand Shrine, and assuming the former, would be a much easier target for Nightshade. If it was the latter, than her job would be over before it even began.

Nightshade had mentally gone over all three of the soldiers she had seen leaving Damarescus. There was the earthpony and the unicorn who had fled from the battle on the train, along with Luna, who Sand Shrine had sent flying. The two along the rails would be easy to find. She would simply follow the tracks until she caught up with their train car. Then, the fun would begin. Nightshade felt giddy as her mind turned over the various methods and means by which her enemies could be slain. There was simple butchering with her blade, as well as many of her various spells at her disposal of course, but there was no pleasure to be reaped from such easy work. Perhaps she could sever the unicorn's horn, and use that in some way. Ah well. She would cross that bridge when she came to it.

The unicorn again turned her eyes to the sky, as a silvery moon ascended to its predetermined position in the heavens. While she appreciated the light, the implications of the illumination were grim. Luna was alive. However, she was weak. Only the thinnest sliver of the moon had been brought out tonight, and none of the stars dared to pierce the darkness. Even if she was alive, she wouldn't be in fighting condition. It was all too perfect. Nightshade's lips curled into a grim smile. To kill an alicorn was to kill a god. Perhaps she would become a god slayer this night.

*****

"Confounded new technology." Luna cursed under her breath. The engine of the train had overheated, and now needed to cool off before they could continue on. She had suggested that they start walking, but the others were...opposed to the idea to say the least.

Luna sat beside the stopped train upon the desert sand, staring up at the night sky. Normally the night was comforting to her. Normally she would paint the sky with a veritable rainbow of blacks, navy blues, and subdued greens. Normally she would spend hours dreaming as she gazed upon her handiwork, perfectly content with her latest masterpiece. Of course, Equestria was not normally at war. No matter. Nopony ever took the time to enjoy the night she wove, so why waste effort? A simple crescent was all she raised tonight, for reasons of both fatigue and apathy. Luna glumly surveyed the threadbare sky. It was so empty, so minimal. She sorely wished that she had the energy to do more, but knew deep down that she needed to conserve what little strength she had left.

Luna slowly rose to her hooves and sighed. Sand Shrine had easily bested her at Damarescus due to poor strategy on her part and now she had a choice to make. She could continue to sit around and feel sorry for herself, or she could get off her flank and set to work on formulating a plan of attack. Moping around might be easier to do, but it would do nothing for her in the long run. So instead, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began to think.

Damarescus had been doomed from the start due to lack of planning. Luna had failed to take account of the fact that Shrine's forces had already reached the city and attacked it. If the pegasi had already been in the skies upon arrival, she should have had no reason not to assume that earthponies and unicorns had been able to reach the city as well. It was a simple mistake, but, as she had now seen first hand, simple mistakes could lead to complex problems. It was the simple error of overconfidence that had lost her the battle. She had underestimated Sand Shrine's ability to raise troops, as well as overestimated her own ability to lead and strategize. She had also failed to take into account the fact that she had such traitorous cowards as Craven amid her ranks, though that was something she could not have prepared for.

With these factors known, Luna began to envision the board in her mind. She had come in strong with a force of pawns, plus a knight, a bishop, and a rook. Shrine had countered by giving up several pawns, but eliminating her knight and rook. He had then slipped behind her with his queen, and taken her back line by storm. Finally, the king himself had left his position, and in doing so, placed her in check. Now, it was time for her to make her move. She had lost a good number of pieces in the opening moves, but she wasn't out of the game just yet. She would need to find a way to pick off his pieces one at a time, until she could force him into a battle where the odds were in her favor.

However, Luna would first need pieces with which to do this. She examined Inkwell and Craven, who were currently fast asleep beside a small fire they had started outside the train. With these two, she had two pawns, plus herself, the queen. In other words, she had next to nothing to work with. The alicorn sighed, realizing that in order to get the pieces she needed, she would have to return to Canterlot and call for reinforcements. This meant that she would need to race Sand Shrine through the Saddleback mountains, and beat him to Equestria proper. This, in turn, meant that a direct engagement with her adversary would need to wait. Rather, she would focus her efforts into delaying his progress wherever possible, slowing him down and assuring that he was always one step behind her.

Luna's mind screamed at her to start flying, to get a head start on her enemies, but her body cried out for rest and respite. She may have been a goddess, but she had taken a vicious beating. What use was it to set off for Canterlot if she collapsed along the journey? A short respite would do her well. She had to keep her strength up. She had to fight on. She had to win.

*****

Dream Sickle was exhausted. Her wings felt like wet clay, her eyelids drooped, and her hooves dangled weakly beneath her. She barely managed to stay aloft as she glided lazily above the desert. She needed rest badly, but knew she could get none. She had to keep going, though how far she could go now was rather limited. Every movement of her muscles was a tedious strain. Slowly but surely, she began to descend.

Down, down, down Sickle spiraled, sinking towards the black sand below. She landed with a less than graceful thud, falling flat on her face as she hit the desert. Her eyes fluttered, but just before they closed, she caught a glimpse of a light just ahead. She had to reach that light. Finding anypony out in this wasteland would be a miracle, and if the light meant ponies, she had to at least try to reach it.

Dream gave one last heave, and pushed herself up to her hooves. She took a few wobbly, staggering steps forward, then collapsed again. With an exhausted groan, she rose again, and began to trudge forward, her entire body screaming for her to stop. Every step felt like a mile, every second like an hour, and every breath felt like a gasp as she dragged her aching body onward. The light grew brighter as she neared it, until she had to squint to keep it from burning her eyes. Through her half closed eyes, Dream could see that what she was approaching was a campfire. In the firelight, she could see the deep blue outline of Princess Luna.

"Oh! Hello Princess!" Dream muttered, her speech slurred with exhaustion. "I've got a message for you! Gimme a sec..."

Dream Sickle promptly collapsed on the sand, fast asleep. Luna gently prodded the sleeping pony, but she didn't budge. The princess decided she ought to let the pony rest. The poor girl had done her duty, and deserved a bit of rest. Luna took a seat upon the sand and stared into the flames. There was something comforting about the fire. Its warmth reminded her of the fireplace back home in Canterlot, beside which she would often curl up with an old tome or novel to pass the time. Unfortunately, the fire also provided a beacon, shining through the blackness of night and sending a clear signal to anypony within a half mile radius.

*****

Somepony was watching them. That somepony was Nightshade. She knew that she stood no chance against an Alicorn. Nopony did. However, Luna had been weakened from a day of combat, and was likely near death already. Although her foe was a goddess, she was a goddess on her knees. All that was left was to deliver the final blow, and cut her down. This would be an easy battle, more like euthanasia than a duel. Nightshade shuddered with giddy anticipation. Belladonna appeared by her side, its wooden tip dragging across the sand. Where the blade met the desert, a thin streak of bright green grass began to grow. Nightshade strode coolly towards the light, her stride never faltering.

By now her enemy had seen her, and had risen to her hooves in preparation. The alicorn's blade flashed into existence, glimmering brightly amid the darkness of the night. Nightshade quickened her pace, her hooves pounding the sand as she closed in on her quarry. The unicorn dove in with a wild slash of her sword, but found that her foe was much too quick. Luna sidestepped the attack with ease, and countered with a sharp, cleaving motion of her own blade. The weapon struck only air, however, as Nighshade ducked beneath the blow, returning it with a vicious thrust. Again her blow failed to connect, as her opponent leapt backwards to avoid it.

"Who art thou?" Luna said, leveling Penumbra at her attacker.

"The name's Nightshade, your majesty." The unicorn practically spat out the princess' title.

"Thou art a fool to come here. Dost thou not know that ye stand face to face with a goddess?"

"I know who I'm facing. I'm just not afraid."

"They say that pride goeth before destruction." Luna readied herself to strike, bringing the blade back to her chest.

"I'm not the one boasting about my godhood."

"Tis not boasting, child." The alicorn spoke, "I merely spake the truth."

Nightshade snapped. Her blade flew forward in an upward arc, obviously aiming to slit the goddess' throat. In the blink of an eye, Luna had countered. The alicorn easily evaded the strike with a single step back, then returned the favor with a quick bolt of lightning to the chest. Her foe fell to the sand as the electricity coursed through her. Luna merely stood by and watched. What had this pony been thinking? Surely she didn't think that she could go toe to toe with a lunar goddess. Did she? The princess watched as the unicorn convulsed, utterly confused by her foe's motive.

Suddenly, the unicorn's head jerked up, and she flashed Luna that infamously twisted smile. She made another swift slash with her blade, this time hacking at the princess' forelegs. Again, the alicorn leapt back in defense, but this time Nightshade was ready. Just as her foe dodged, Nightshade's horn ignited a pale indigo glow. She stomped a hoof against the desert sand, sending a swarm of viper-like vines slithering in her enemies direction. They closed in on their target in seconds, and immediately set to work ensnaring the hooves of the goddess. Luna was quick to react, flapping her wings and lifting off in a fraction of second. The vines began to snap under the strain, each breaking loose with an audible pop. However, as each one snapped, another quickly took its place. The tendrils that had remained on the ground now shot up like rockets, whipping and writhing about like a hideous drove of worms.

Luna strained to keep aloft as more and more of the branches wrapped around her body. The confounded vines had already overtaken her hooves, and had worked their way up to her torso. They showed no signs of stopping as they tightened their grip and began to entangle her wings. Slowly but surely, the green tendrils worked their way over every inch of her body and began to drag her back down towards the earth. She watched her enemy cast another spell, this time upon her own body. The flesh on the unicorn's foreleg began to tear and rend as a multitude of sharp, cruelly curved thorns began to sprout from beneath her skin.

Nightshade giggled with sadistic joy as she watched a thick, purple liquid seep from the freshly grown thorns. Her snickers turned into peals of laughter as she plunged these spines into Luna's back. The alicorn let out a scream of pain, which was quickly drowned out by her attacker's screeching. Nightshade struck at her again and again, each time sinking the thorns deeper into her enemy. She prepared one last strike, and plunged her hoof down at her enemies spine. This time, however, something blocked her. A thick barrier of magic had formed around the princess, protecting her from any further damage.

Luna struggled beneath the writhing tendrils that surrounded her. The area around her began to spark and crackle, as streaks of lightning began to flash from her horn. The bolts ignited the vines, and the air began to fill with thick, choking smoke. With one last mighty push, Luna lit up the night with a brilliant flash of electricity. The remaining vines withered as the alicorn once again rose to her hooves. Her flesh was wreathed in cracks of bright lightning, which flitted about her body like sparks around a campfire. Her face was framed by the heavy smoke, further adding to the aspect of terror that Luna now exuded.

"Dost thou not understand?" She spoke, striding towards Nightshade. Her every step seemed to shake the earth, and was accompanied by the rumble of thunder. "I am a goddess. I hath existed for a millennium and three score. In mine eyes, thy elders are but children. I hath seen this fragile earth at its birth, and hath seen the equine race develop under the auspice of my royal brethren. And ye, a sole, insignificant unicorn...dare to seeketh combat with me?"

Luna's voice had risen to ear shattering levels. For the first time, she could tell Nightshade was afraid.

"Thou art a fool, unicorn. Thy pride hath led you to the edge of the precipice." The princess cast Penumbra, and leveled the blade at her shocked enemy. "And now I shall hurl thee into the abyss."

Luna attacked with a wild slash. Her blade struck against something soft, and rent it in two. What she had cut however, was not her foe. Instead, she had cleaved straight through a massive tangle of briars and vines that had sprung up around her enemy. The alicorn incinerated the flimsy barrier with a quick lightning spell, and saw that Nightshade had turned tail and fled. The unicorn was racing away at a full gallop, but Luna knew she was faster. With a mighty flap of her wings, she lifted herself from the earth, prepared to pursue...and promptly crashed down with a muffled, "whump". The princess shook the sand from her mane and tried again, but this time she didn't even make it off the ground.

Suddenly, Luna's mind went back to the thorn covered hoof Nightshade had struck her with. She remembered how it had oozed some sort of thick violet liquid...poison. Her body was numb now; filled all over with the pins and needles feeling she got when she lost circulation in a leg or a wing. She felt no fear at the prospect of death. Instead, she felt only rage. She recalled the death of Vitae, the alicorn of life who had died before her. He had gone out in a blaze of glory during the Draconequus war as he was swarmed over by hundreds of foes. They had torn him to shreds, but he had died honorably. Would she now die alone and poisoned by an enemy who was far below her in strength and skill?

No. Luna's mind screamed the word over and over again. She could not, she would not die tonight. With her last ounce of strength, she dragged herself over the the sleeping pegasus, Dream Sickle. Her legs had begun to fail her, so instead, she used her mouth. The alicon bit Dream's shoulder, instantly waking her from her slumber.

Dream Sickle awoke with a startled yelp and leapt to her hooves in fright. Her eyes, still groggy from lack of sleep, frantically scanned the desert. Finally, it dawned on her that the princess, who now seemed to be struggling to breathe, had been trying to wake her.

"Yes princess?" The pegasus rubbed her eyes, "Whatcha need?"

"Get..." Luna gasped out, fighting to keep her body from succumbing to the toxin, "Train..."

"You want me to get you on the train?" Sickle said with a yawn, "Well, okie dokie princess."

Dream Sickle clamped her teeth down on Luna's ethereal mane. It tasted like sand. Then again, almost everything was covered in the accursed grit, so she shouldn't have been surprised. She strained and struggled, but finally pulled the reeling goddess into the train car. Once she had laid her down on the floor, Dream staggered forward until she reached the engine room. She reached for the throttle, and promptly fell asleep again. Luckily for her, she managed to fall on the lever, and the engine began to chug out black smoke. Within seconds, the train was again rolling down the tracks.

*****

Sand Shine had left Damarescus to his soldiers. Now, it was time for him to move on. Dodge Junction was his next stop. It was a sleepy little town that had sprung up as a safe haven for traders and railway passengers. Dodge Junction was an easy target. It would crumble under his forces in a single day, just as Damarescus had.

Although he hated flight, Sand Shrine spread his wings and lifted off into the night sky. He set a course for his next target. In the sky behind him, the sun began to rise, casting a red glow over the desert.

"Soon the sand will be stained with red once more." The alicorn whispered as he sped off toward his goal.

Comments

[Luminary]

Okay, last chapter. Much like the previous, it'd mostly be the same praise and commentary and such.

Not sure why Nightshade thought she could catch a train. On foot. I mean, she did, obviously, but why did that train ever stop? If time is of the essence, couldn't the three ponies just take shifts feeding the boiler? It's not as if keeping a steam train going along a track takes some huge amount of focus. I imagine that they'd screw it up, over time, by not knowing what they're doing, and thus not releasing steam pressure or something. But they'd probably screw it up worse by stopping and not knowing how to restart it.

Also, if poison was so effective against alicorns, when normal weapons weren't, wouldn't that be a pretty well known way to take them down? Given that they were a whole species before? I'm sure someone tried at some point in history.

Okay, now for the more general things, about the whole story.
You've got a solid foundation to work with, here. Better'n most manage, that's for sure! But I think you could reap huge rewards with a few relatively tiny additions and edits in a few areas. I think the points that need to be addressed are threefold:

1) The Setting: It doesnt feel like old Equestria. At all. It doesn't take much. A bit of inter-tribal disharmony. The legacies of the societies we see in the Hearth Warming Eve play being present. Some old-style words. Less... umm... trains. Here, glance at this. It's just the first fic that sprung to mind, since it's recent, and I like it. It feels like it's in old Equestria. That feeling is important.

2) Plot Convenience: Sometimes, it feels like things in this story don't happen for any natural reason, but just because the plot needed it to happen. There's not much excuse for this, admittedly. A little bit of thought, or a some hand-waving exposition can usually clear up the problem. Celestia 'knew' her student was in the desert, out of all the empty or hidden places in Equestria? Why? Obviously because she needed to meet Sand Shrine.The train stopped? Why? Because Nightshade needed to catch up to, and poison Luna. Sand Shrine went mad with rage, after Celestia exiled him to a wasteland. He could have left any time. Or demanded some lands of value. But he didn't, despite having a clearly direct personality. Why? He needed to be set up as the villain. Maybe those aren't the reasons in your head. But you don't give us others of satisfaction, so that's all we have to conclude.

3) The Villain: Alicorn OCs are always a problem. They're also a problem everyone recognizes. I'm glad you use one as a villain, rather than a protagonist, and I think they can be used as such without issue. However, just having one named in the description probably substantially shrank your readership. They're kind of stigmatized. I've already gone into why I'm not crazy about Sand Shrine in earlier chapters, so it doesn't need to be repeated. I think you would do better by focusing on what he actually does, have him be a vicious warrior, jilted by the royal pony sisters out of his due. Chessmasters are difficult to write properly, since almost by definition, they're much smarter than their writers. It takes a lot of arranging coincidences, and explaining complicated chains of events. Since you're a fan of Immortal Game (I assume, again), think of Celestia in the initial beatdown against her father. When she's all but getting killed, and she's working to set plans in motion, arranging the fight so it disrupts the simultaneous attack on Luna, and leaving clues that will lead to her enemies' downfall. Or hell, just the events of the first two episodes of FiM. You don't even have to explain it, really. Random stuff happens, culminating in victory. Character takes credit for the initial conditions and smiles enigmatically. Done. It's a sloppy, lazy way to do it, but it works.

You appear to be at the point in your writing career where you have the mechanics down. You can check off vocabulary, grammar and structure (And sweet heavens do I often wish I could say that to everyone). However, you still need some practice with your intangibles. None of the things I mentioned above have hard and fast rules. A lot of it is just how things feel, which is subjective, so take my comments with several grains of salt. Much of the rest is simply a product of you needing to ponder your own story a bit more.

You need to put yourself in your reader's place and ask more questions about your own story, basically

It sounds sort of airy and trite, I know, but it is actually important. Vitally so. It's how you'll catch plot holes, and spots where your exposition is lacking. Those sort of things wear at readers like me. Once I start to question the fundamentals of what a character is based on, it ruins a character's future actions for me. When I spot a bit of weirdness in the setting, all future ones get that much more glaring.

Think of readers having a limited reserve of suspension of disbelief. You need to keep them from 'spending' that as much a you can. Every time someone runs into an ignored question in the narrative, is dubious about a character's actions or thinks of something as 'too convenient', they run a little lower. You can't get rid of that 'spending' entirely, but if people still have a mostly 'full tank', they'll give you leeway, and will trust enough to let you defer explanations until later. If they run out, game over.

The fact that you're several chapters in makes such smoothing intimidating, I know, but as I said before, it wouldn't take much to smooth over a lot of those little speedbumps. Pick your battles. Getting rid of the trains is probably too much work. But a small mention or two about them being a relatively new invention, and Luna being pleased that the absurd expense of laying rail has been justified would help, a bit. A single sentence or two about a tracking spell would conveniently handwave Celestia basically choosing a random place on the map and going 'My student is totally here!'. A line in 'Tia's arguement with Sand Shrine about him being just too damned proud to speak up and ask for something else from her would soothe a lot of ills with his motivation. That sort of thing.