A little fast paced. Actually not a terrible read though, if ya got someone to help you with editing and the like, and spent a little more time on development and stuff, ya could turn it into a decent story. It will might your 5k word short into a 30-40k monster though. *reads next chapter* Yeah, I see some potential in this, if ya changed the week to a month, stretched out the development and put some more details and length to the backstories, ya could make this into something unique and intruiging.
As it is it's a good start, honestly the biggest things in writing are time, experience, and (somewhat) original ideas. Definetly a refreshing take on the old I date fluttershy concept.
This seems slightly fast for Special Somepony... But then I remember the beginning of the movie August Rush, where two characters that literally only just met, well... sleep together on the roof of the (club?) building they'd met. When used correctly, fast pacing works well. And I see it here. On to the next chapter! ...after art class ^-^
A little fast paced.
Actually not a terrible read though, if ya got someone to help you with editing and the like, and spent a little more time on development and stuff, ya could turn it into a decent story.
It will might your 5k word short into a 30-40k monster though.
*reads next chapter*
Yeah, I see some potential in this, if ya changed the week to a month, stretched out the development and put some more details and length to the backstories, ya could make this into something unique and intruiging.
As it is it's a good start, honestly the biggest things in writing are time, experience, and (somewhat) original ideas.
Definetly a refreshing take on the old I date fluttershy concept.
This seems slightly fast for Special Somepony... But then I remember the beginning of the movie August Rush, where two characters that literally only just met, well... sleep together on the roof of the (club?) building they'd met. When used correctly, fast pacing works well. And I see it here. On to the next chapter! ...after art class ^-^