*bing bong*
“...Hmph?”
*bing bong*
My eyes flew open, staring out into the blank darkness of the nighttime of my bedroom. The only light was that of my alarm clock, which displayed the numbers 3:37.
Thinking that perhaps I had just dreamed the sound of my doorbell, I shrugged it off and rolled over to return to sleep. No sooner had my eyes fluttered shut before I once again heard the incessant chiming of the front doorbell.
Who the hell could possibly be ringing my doorbell at 3:37 in the morning?
I whipped the covers off of my body, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and groggily rubbing my eyes. I lazily felt around the floor for a pair of pants, and pulled them on slowly, not wanting to greet my late-night visitor in my boxers. As a final precaution, once my eyes had gotten adjusted to the dark, I dug around in my closet and retrieved a baseball bat. Better safe than sorry, I thought to myself.
I plodded silently across the carpeted floor of my single bedroom apartment's hallway, moving stealthily past the entrance of the bathroom and kitchen, before finally making my way to the threshold of the plain beige door. The chain on the door was held firmly in place, thank goodness, but the doorbell was still chiming out every few seconds. Hesitantly bringing my eye up to level with the doorway, I peered out to lay witness to.... Nothing.
There wasn't anything there. It was empty. All there was was the light that shone on the stairway for my apartment complex (mine being on the third floor, second door on the right). There was no one there.
By now I was a little more than creeped out, and I kept watch, making sure that no one was just having a late-night chuckle and ringing the bell and running. I sat there for a few minutes until I heard the chime of the bell again. Snapping up, I looked out. Still nothing.
What the hell is going on? I thought to myself.
Allowing my curiosity to get the better of me, I slowly inched my hand toward the chain that held my door closed, pulling it away fast enough so that it was audible to whomever was outside my apartment.
I waited, holding my breath for what felt like minutes.
When nothing happened, I let out a sigh of relief, and, in one swift motion, grabbed the doorknob with my right hand, flicking the switch that turned on the light hanging directly outside with the other. With a grunt of effort, I forced the door open, swinging it quickly inward, so as to not accidentally hurt whomever was standing on my doorstep; only to set my sights on something that not only loosened my grip on the door, but made my jaw drop.
There, before me, was a creature I'd never seen before. A little red bow and a small note were attached to the creature's hair, which seemed to have a life of its own, constantly shifting and settling as though there was an eternal breeze flowing through it; her hair was streaked with green and purple and blue and shone magnificently even in the incandescent light of my porch light, as though it was strewn with jewels through its entirety.
Her little body was covered in a coat of pure white fur, and her... feet? were clad in what appeared to be gold shoes. Most surprisingly of all, though, were the wings that lay on either side of her body, and the horn that protruded from her head, as if she were a unicorn, that glistened with a sort of yellow energy. Her eyes were a deep purple, and while, moments ago, they were focused on my doorbell, they seemed to be focused on me now, somewhat widened with surprise. Not fear, necessarily, just the sudden surprise of someone finally appearing.
"Hi!" she squeaked out in an adorable voice, looking up at me with a huge grin on her face.
My right eye twitched the tiniest bit before I reached my fingers up to give myself a solid pinch.
"OW!"
"What'd you do that for?" the little creature asked, looking up at me quizzically.
"I... I, um... I was checking to see if I was... y'know, dreaming." I said to her, now assured that it was indeed a she by her high and clearly feminine voice.
"Oh. Well I'd certainwy hope not, 'cause... I could weally use your hewp..." she said, all of the sudden beginning to sound somber.
"You... You could?" I asked, scratching my head uncertainly.
"Yeah... Big sis Woona said that once I ended up wherever she sent me, whoever I found that could speak Engwish first was supposed to wead the note on my head..." she said, lowering her head so I could take the note.
She looked up at me with those big, purple eyes and said "Could you pwease read it out loud so I can know what big sister said about me?"
I obliged the small creature and began to read. In a scrawl worthy of a king were written these words:
"To whomever it may concern:
I, Princess Luna, of the Republic of Equestria, have deemed my sister, Princess Celestia, unfit to continue with her duties of raising the sun due to excessive mistreatment of her royal abilities in a childish attempt to gain unnecessary recognition from the ponies of Equestria. Her selfish desire to bring eternal day to the ponies has left me no choice but to banish her elsewhere, where she will feel more comfortable, the most suitable and closest life-supporting location appearing to be Earth. I have attempted to settle her in America, which appears to be a nation that conveniently has a dialect which nearly mirrors our own, but the magic of even the alicorns can only do so much. I know not where she will end up, but if you so happen to be the first one to discover her, I plead with thee to take care of my sister. Though I was forced to banish her, it does not mean I do not love her, and perhaps one day I will return her to Equestria, or she may yet learn how to do so herself. I thank the from the bottom of my heart for thine cooperation. -Princess Luna"
"Woo- Woona r-really d-did t-t-that to me...?
I looked down at the little (alicorn?). There were tears welling up in her eyes, rolling down her cheeks in trails, her lower lip turned up and quivering as she stumbled over the words, only just now coming to grips with her big sister's deception.
"C... Celestia? Is that your name?"
She sniffled, wiping away her tears with one of her front legs
"Big sis always calls me Tia... Could you too, pwease?"
I looked at the little alicorn that sat, stooped over on my front porch, bathed in the glow of my porch light. Tears slipped down from the alicorn's eyes, hitting the dull gray concrete and leaving tiny dark spots. My heart swelled with sudden and uncertain affection. The poor thing looked so lost, and abandoned, and yet, at the same time, so adorable. What was there to do but help such a small creature?
"Tia...?" I said hesitantly.
"Yeah?"
"Would you like to come inside?"
Her eyes lit up like the sun she was apparently responsible for raising, and a smile soon followed, like the petals of a morning glory opening in the sun.
"Would you weally take me in?"
"Of course I would."
"Even if I can be bad and don't always do what I'm told and can be stubborn?" she asked, looking away for a moment.
"You're still a kid, aren't you?"
She nodded her head, the flecks of water left on her chin being flung in all directions.
"Then yeah. I guess I would." I said, bending down on one knee and opening my arms wide.
She ran into them quickly, embracing me in the closest hug I think I've ever been involved in. Her body was warm, despite its stature, and I could feel her horn glowing, like her happiness was being channeled through it.
I cuddled her there for a while, and then walked her inside my apartment, setting up a pile of blankets at the foot of my bed so she could sleep with me.
As she nuzzled me goodnight and settled into the bedsheets, I looked at her, softly breathing against the fleece and fabric, and whispered
"Goodnight, My Little Pony.".
Well then...This...
Well, the set up is incredibly similar to that of My Little Dashie, but I guess I can get behind this...key word 'try'. You've wrote it well, no real grammatical errors anywhere (yeah, I'm one of those people) and you did establish 'why' she was sent there.
Though Chibi-Celestia is adorable.
Oh my gosh this is awesome You did a really good job!
when i say this i was like then i was like but then i say it was only one short chapter and finely i read it and
you should continue this.
733208
733241
733219
Oh my goodness, three comments that fast? Thank you all so much! I'm sorry it isn't longer, this is literally a one-shot I wrote in about 30 or 40 minutes, so forgive me for any grammatical errors.
Also, hey, my first dislike!
Can't imagine why..
Usually, this is the part where I horribly mutilate your fiction with constructive criticism.
However, it appears I truly can't find any errors. Writing seems solid, it wasn't a carbon copy of MLD...
Hell, I actually want an extended version. Not a bad fiction at all, but I wouldn't necessarily call it great. Don't get me wrong, it's a good work but... Perhaps it's because it still has that small little 'MLD' feel. And that feel kinda kills it. Trust me, if this came before MLD, I would rate higher. Now if this could drive me to tears like MLD did (real men shed tears because of ponies)... holy shit, you would've gotten your own box of internets.
Regardless, if it had to be a numerical score, I'd give it 9/10. One point deduction for not really making me feel, nor giving him a damn epilogue!
D'AAWWWWWWW! THIS IS SO ADORABLE!
733252
733244
Thank you both! To Skrillex, as much as I would love to make a longer storyline, I just can't think of anything that wouldn't result in it being terribly like My Little Dashie. As much as I love that fanfiction (it's the only fanfic that's ever made me cry), I don't wish to copy it. So, maybe one day, if I can think of anything that will take it in a different direction than MLD. But, to be honest, I don't see that happening.
A story of a filly Celestia in Earth?!!?
*Reads.
1 MOTHERBUCKING CHAPTER?
733275
I'm sorry! Please don't kill me
733275
Thanks!
That was very cute :3
I would urge you to continue but seeing as it stands fine as a one-shot, I don't think you'd want to.
Oh my, that first comment was supposed to go to 733259
Sorry about that.
733291
Please refer to my answer to Skrillex, which is what made this so short
733296
Thanks, man! I'm sorry it's so short, but that was what it ended up being. If enough people ask for one, though, I guess I really have no choice but to write an epilogue
Hm..hm... i know how this is going to end! Probably.... but... buck it! I'm going to watch this story
733319
Sir, if I was you, I would consider it. Not just because of me asking you while planning to burn your house down with lemons if you refuse, but because I'm afraid of what others will do if their appetite for an epilogue isn't written.
Think of the children...
733343
Not the children!
This was so incredibly adorable!!
733360
Aheheh, thanks
733307
Na I still gonna kill you.
Sooo America did said the fic?Nice now its closer!
733379
"Day 5. Rations fading. Can't sleep. My eyes grow weary with fatigue, and my stomach grows emptier still. I promised I'd save the children, but time upon this Earth is now very limited. Tell Fluttershy she'll always be my waifu.
-THD"
733396
MMmmm children? Better start with them >:D
HOW IS THIS HAPPENING.
I'VE NEVER HAD A STORY THIS POPULAR.
THANK YOU ALL FOR READING.
SO much win, and i had a dream almost like this fic=)
733618
Thanks man! Also, sounds like one heck of a dream.
I am a soldier and I like this story. Update or else.
733284 ah, ok. i can respect that
733657
Thank you for your bravery and effort for whatever country you may hail from
Damn you people, I hadn't planned an epilogue, but I suppose I have no choice.
733670
13Romeo of the United States Army,
Please my good brony...continue this and may the epicness surpass that of My Little Dashie!!!
733731
>Surpass the epicness of My Little Dashie
ARE YOU LOCO IN THE COCO?
733748 Very...BUT I SEE POSSIBILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!
733771
Are you suggesting, perhaps, that I have opportunity in this very community?
This story has so much FREAKING POTENTIAL!!!! I wish you would continue it.......
This looks promesing, there really isn't to many MLP human fics where Celestia is the main character.
733803 yes...I think...and that rhyme deserves MOUSTACHES!!!
733803 FLIM FLAM REFERENCE FOR THE WIN!
Adorable?
Short?
Complete?
Vague method of making comments?
This was cute and adorable, I hate to say it cause you said "short one-shot" but I demand more.
True, it is much better than My Little Dashie. This one had the decency to end much sooner.
in my opinion the oly way to this become a lot different story will be;
the way he raised her
the strong possiblity of him go to equestria to help celestia get her throne back
(hint hint)
and the comedy of raising a creature with god like power
I loved this!
I personally think you should continue this. I wold absolutely love that and so would other people
Moar.
I like it
734127 I completely agree with
That would be some seriously nice story.
Too short but was excellent I wish it was longer with more stuff like how they live and what if Luna goes back to find her to take her back to equestria stuff like that but greak work you deserve my like
Wow... touchy...
But the ending was a little bit cheesy. But i don't mind it.
Anyway...
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/254/999/41d.jpg
its.... SO CUTE!
If you haven't given much thought to an epiloge or extended story, or just don't believe you can write anymore, might you adopt it out? Not to me, I would mutilate it.
It shows promise. Just make sure to keep it original and you'll do fine.
To everyone who has read my story and commented and liked and favorited, thank you all so much!
To everyone who has requested MOAR, http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/37196 here, read this.
734127
My God, man! That's brilliant!