My Little Warriors: Clanmates Are Magic

by Rainbow Dash The Pegasus

Prolouge: The Forcefield

Prologue: The Forcefield

Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were walking into the deep EverFree and found a forcefield. "I sense something with my magic for some reason." Twilight said, trotting to were her magic was taking her and the rest of them followed.

Twilight stopped with her magic and touched a forcefield that nopony could see. Rainbow soon flew into the forcefield with super speed and turned into a rainbow furred cat with wings and a cutie mark.

Spike and The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran up to them and found Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie there. "There ya'll are! We've been looking for ya forever!" Applebloom yelled as she ran up to Applejack and hugged her tightly.

"Okay, Sugarcube! That's enough." AJ said as Applebloom let go of her. Pinkie hopped into the forcefield with some speed and turned into a pink-pelted cat with a balloon cutie mark. "Oh no Pinkie's one too!" Fluttershy whisper-shouted as Rarity hugged her.

Twilight soon cast a spell on the forcefield and told everypony to jump into it and it still turned them into cats. Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Spike had become cats and saw cats walk up to them and stare.

"Why are you on our territory, Kittypets." a orange, firey cat with green eyes meowed.

Author's Note:

Bye~Dashie D.

Comments

[Echo_Off]

This reminds me of my early days on that other fanfiction website, where the chapters were. tiny and the stories really bad.

Need an example?

"I sense something with my magic for some reason."

That sentence alone hurts my soul. Vague sentence is so vague it could be in the middle of space for all we know. Or rather, sensing a spider that happened to get too close to the tree of harmony. It literally tells us nothing other than that twilight canse sense stuff.

Props for the picture though.

[Titan Commander Sebaste]

This is new...

[Osiris Grandeur]

6883742 I agree with you.
To the author, I am sorry, but there is no way in hell I will read garbage like this. (No offense)

[detectivebrony]

Not a bad concept, but you need to add more detail, give a reason why tell the time of day and other stuff. Try and hit the 1000 word minimum or higher. That way, your story might actually keep my attention.