Mamihlapinatapai

by WritingSpirit

Entry #2

"Yakyakistan?"

"Yes, that Yakyakistan."

What's so special about Yakyakistan? What's so special about that yakkity-yak place that made Princess Celestia decide it was a great idea to hold a little summit there? Don't get me wrong, the yaks are lovely in their own barbaric ways, but to go all the way up into the snow-capped mountains where you could be pummeled by snowstorms or hailstorms or yetis or rabid yaks makes me think that they really didn't think this through. Why can't the bloody yaks make their journey down to the Crystal Empire and have the summit there? Wouldn't it easier for everypony (not every-yak) to just gather there instead? I found myself grumbling, a little annoyed that the yaks couldn't be more inconsiderate. They're going to be greeted by all four princesses, for Faust's sake! Wouldn't it hurt to have a shred of fucking decency every now and then?

"Come on, it won't be that bad," Twilight chuckled at my frown, shaking her head. "Just think of all the cultural icons that they have over there! Wonder what they have in their souvenir shops? Spike wanted me to get him something when we get back. What do you think they have there, Flash?"

"Probably yak statues, or statues of yaks making statues."

"Hey, be nice!" she chastised me, restraining her laughter. "You need me to brush up on your Yakyakistani history and cultural studies? They can be pretty sensitive when it comes to culture over there."

"I'll just keep my mouth shut then."

Twilight rolled her eyes at my comment; usually, that meant she was getting a little tired at my sarcastic sense of humor. I can sympathize. After all, it was my friends who've influenced this spawn of humor upon me. I don't know how many times their admittedly witty comments left me with the bitter taste in my mouth and, at times, a knee right into my dignity. The worst I've gone so far with her was when she sighed, planted her face into her book and bemoaned about how it had all come to this, how Spike was already enough and whatsoever. After that moment, I did make attempts to tone it down a little according to the mood, though seeing how illiterate I was to the atmosphere, it only happened a precious number of times.

"Look, I just want it to be enjoyable for you too," Twilight sighed. "I mean, I'll be going there for business as usual and you'll be standing at some corner somewhere, but after that, we'll have some free time, won't we? We can find something to do over there."

"Wouldn't you want to just sleep through the rest of the day after having a summit like that?'

"I know you would," she teased, flying towards one of the higher shelves. "If there's anything interesting other than yak statues, which I have positive information that there is, then I want to check it out. You know, just to spice up the trip a little."

"Spice up? We're talking about Yakyakistan here, aren't we?"

Heading back down to earth, Twilight painlessly smacked my head with one of her books, shaking her head at how immature I was being before handing me the goods. As she flew back in her search for more reads on yak culture, I took a gander at the two books, both on Yakyakistan's 'bright and colorful' culture, before shrugging and taking them towards the map room where her saddlebags were. She might want me to read them on the train later, I surmised. I wouldn't mind a little read every now and then— it's one of the things you're bound to pick up if you've been with Princess Twilight long enough. I've been her personal guard at her castle for almost two months now, which was, to me at a time, almost unthinkable. In short, I turned into a bookworm because of a bound contract. Not that it's a bad thing.

"Excuse me?"

Perking my ears up, I turned around to see a finely-dressed stallion at the doorway. His eyes were glancing around, as if in a search for something. Tucked in the comfort of his hooves was a clipboard with various documents. When he realized that I was the only one in the room, he trotted up to me with a sheepish grin, studying me from head to hoof, before giving a nod of acknowledgement.

"Kind sir, do you happen to know where Her Majesty Princess Twilight Sparkle is?" he meekly asked, his voice thin and a little shaky. "My company wants her to go through a few papers, if you don't mind."

"Sure, come with me," I said nonchalantly despite my raised eyebrow, escorting him to the library where Twilight was. I shouldn't be involving with Twilight's royal affairs in the first place, after all, whether it be diplomacy in Yakyakistan or her fiscal matters and business ventures. That was a clear line of separation, one I did not wish to cross. Reaching our destination, Twilight was still scouring through the shelves, looking for more to learn about Yakyakistan in her stash of books. Knowing that could come later, I called her down and told her about our guest, which immediately stopped her dead in her search and settle those papers with him.

"Let's see here..." she hummed, scanning the documents thoroughly as she levitated a quill to her side. "So I'm assuming that all these projects were approved by their appropriate city councils?"

"Yes, Your Highness," he answered, cuing her to begin signing the papers.

"Alright then," she gasped when she was finally done, smiling sweetly. "Tell Mr. Atelier that he'll be glad to learn that I had approved these projects and that he can now start working on them as he see fit. Also, do give him and his family my regards."

"I will. Farewell, Your Highness!"

Returning his goodbyes, I escorted him out of the palace, before heading back inside. Trotting into the map room, Twilight placed the last of her books — something about contemporary Yakyakistani literature — before snapping them shut. She beckoned me over and plopped my saddlebags onto me, the arduous weight of it crashing down onto my backbone and nearly smashing me down onto the ground. Straining my hooves a little, I haphazardly propped myself back up, my leg muscles finally finding benefit from the marathons they were subjected to back in my early days as a recruit. When Twilight had checked everything off a checklist and double-checked it once more, we were off towards the train station, ready to take the journey into the steep cliffs of the frozen north.

"So, what was that about?" my curiosity begged me to ask.

"Oh, that was one of Mr. Atelier's employees," Twilight explained. "He just wanted me to sign some official documents to greenlight some of his recreational projects. Totally forgot that he was sending somepony over today to settle this."

"You met him before?'

"Mr. Atelier, yes. Once or twice at some important banquets in Manehatten."

"Manehatten, huh?" I mused, bringing an end to that conversation. It must be interesting, being able to travel around Equestria to meet all these dignified figures and having to participate in the progressing growth for the future of the country. Well, I guess that's what the princesses do, aside from sitting on the throne and fighting the occasional armageddon-wielding creatures. Ponies would kill to have that sort of power: to dictate what should and should not be built, to control the wealth and power of those spearheading the various industries. Of course, like I mentioned earlier, I shouldn't be involved with Twilight's affairs and such. I wouldn't even know what I'll be doing should I get myself in that mess.

Still, a pony can dream, can he not?

---

"It was an accident!"

"How could it be an accident?" cried the pegasus sentry seated across me. "Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, she's digging you, Flash Sentry!"

"No princess is digging anypony, Pierce."

"Not until now," he said, sporting his trademark dopey grin. "Flash, dude, come on! T'is the call of fate we're talking about here! I mean, look at it! She bumped into you twice! See the pattern yet?"

All I was seeing was his irregular smile that leaned a little more to the left; a result of his bad habit of smirking at every filly walking by back in high school. We were in the same class together then and got along quite well, due to sharing the same destiny of enlisting into the guard together, to which we did. In the bunch of friends I was with back then, he was the loudest one, but he was perceptive to know if the situation outright rejects his zealous state of mind. Pierce Swiftwind was also a pony of principles, to which he stood by them most of the time, so he claimed; I had never really seen him break any of them, to be fair. He was, in my opinion, what the guard needed more of: a pony with a strong sense of honesty and justice, always willing to serve the needy whenever possible.

Having the rest of the day off, we decided to spend our afternoon at one of the Crystal Empire's taverns. Like most taverns, it was small, packed at every hour of the day and almost every pony would leave with a smile on their faces, mostly buzzing with a little too much from the tap. Though there wasn't such a place back when the Crystal Empire first appeared, the sudden influx of guards assigned to help with protecting the kingdom made building a tavern crucial. After all, it was mandatory for every guardspony to kick back their hooves and have a little drink at their local tavern, so the unwritten rules suggest. Having Shining Armor leading the charge only made the whole thing come quicker.

"I'm telling you, there's nothing like that," I protested. "The princess just bumped into me twice, that's it. There's no double layer, no deeper meaning, no call of fate or whatever you think it was. It's just a coincidence, nothing more."

As I finished that sentence, a crystal mare approached, wearing an apron and a red bandana around her curly locks, notepad in hoof.

"Rose daiquiri," Pierce went ahead.

"Will do. And you, sir?"

"Just some simple cider would do."

Smiling pleasantly, the waitress skipped over to the counter, apron bouncing along the way. I watched, perhaps a little mesmerized by the simplicity and the way she smiled, but I couldn't help but glance at Pierce, whose attention was now fixated as the waitress headed over to the next table. His little grin returned, this time with a touch of wonder glowing in his cheeks, pupils clouded in a dreamy haze. With a chuckle, he managed to turn back to me and opened his mouth to speak, though his brows curved when he saw the cheeky grin I was wearing.

"Oh, come on," he attested for his emotions. "You have to admit, she's gorgeous. Her eyes were sparkling, her voice, petite... and don't even get me started on that headband of hers! Sweet Celestia, that only makes her cuter than ever!"

"Why not make the first move then?" I gave him a nudge. "You'll never know if she might be interested in you!"

"Hold on there, Flash! I know what you're trying to do! Don't try to change the subject here!"

Rats, the voice in my head cursed. At least it was worth a shot.

"Look, I'm telling you, there's something between you two going on here," he pressed on, much to my chagrin. "You and Princess Twilight, Flash! Imagine that! Hell, it could be the story of the century here! This might be the last thing we need for all of the planets to finally align!"

"How do you even come up with those?"

"Spur of the moment."

The waitress returned with our drinks on a tray, serving them immediately before leaving us with another pleasant smile to remember her by. Pierce was quick to indulge in his drink, whereas I just stared down at my cider, my murky reflection barely visible in the frothy liquid. With a sigh, I downed it in one swift chug and slammed the mug onto the table, wiping away the foam around my lips, much to my friend's surprise. Before I realized it, I had already raised my hoof, having the same waitress scurrying over to my table once more. Handing her the empty cider mug, I asked for another one, to which she returned with it filled up in a record time of two minutes.

"Thank you, Miss, uh..."

"Beryl," she answered with a little grin.

"Miss Beryl, yes. Thank you."

One more grin, the waitress, aptly named Beryl, trotted away. I turned back, stifling a laugh when I noticed Pierce was staring at me in complete awe at my performance. With a smug grin, I gave my cider another gulp, this time only drinking down a quarter of it. Meanwhile, my friend wrote something on the napkin, took a little sip of his daiquiri and stood up. I watched, snickering as he strode towards Miss Beryl and handed her said napkin, which started up a small but really awkward conversation between them. It seemed to have gone smoothly as time went by, for when he was done there was a wide smile on the waitress's face and a meek wave.

"You're the devil, Flash." Pierce sighed, sitting back down.

All I could was chortle.

"Spur of the moment," I reciprocated.

"You really don't want me telling this to the other guys, don't you?"

"You do owe me one right now," was all I answered. "So yes, don't tell the others. It'll save the both of us some embarrassment."

"Heh, yeah," Pierce chuckled, sheepishly rubbing his mane while giving a shy glance back at his new date. "One more thing I'm curious about, though. Do you fancy Twilight Sparkle?"

I could still remember the confident answer I gave my friend, clear as day.

"Not really, no."

---

"You're upset at me."

Twilight Sparkle folded her hooves, tucking them underneath her blankets with her head well rested on the pillow. Her stare was fixated at the ceiling, her mouth cracking open. Her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, her horn shimmering in a glisten of violet. It was, right now, the only source of light in the room, repulsing the black tendrils of what would've been another callous night. Her voice was breathy and quiet, on the verge of drowning. She had been struggling to keep herself afloat for a while now, so I've heard. I would love to drown with her. To submerge ourselves into an ocean of quietus. That way, we'd both, in our own ways, can find bliss. However, I'm sure if I report such a plan to the princess, she'd be absolutely aggravated and livid, even though we both know deep down she wouldn't hesitate to give this paradisaical hypnagogia a go.

I was paying her another one of those midnight visits, which was a fruitful, once in a lifetime opportunity that I had the fortune of obtaining after much pleading with the staff in charge of taking care of her. It was a loss at their end, what with everything circulating about recently, but I'm happy that their sentiments won over their understandable apprehension. This was my fourth visit, if I remembered it correctly, yet the scenario was still the same. I'm usually seated on a chair readied for me at the side of the bed, whereas she was lying in the bed, curtains all drawn out and surrounding her, hiding her in a thin veil of deep blue with only a shadow giving an indication that she was actually there. In short, I was talking to a shadow at midnight. If I told that to everyone else, I think they wouldn't be surprised.

"What?"

"You're upset at me," Twilight repeated feverishly, turning her head to me. "You are, aren't you? You're upset that I ruined everything."

"Ruined what?"

"Don't play dumb, Flash. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Why would I be upset?" I rebutted, wrinkling my snout. "Why do you even think that, Twilight? There's no reason I should be mad at you."

"Nurse Redheart read the paper to me this morning."

I opened my mouth to reply, but all that came out was a quivering sigh. I should've guessed that Twilight would ask somepony close to her to let her learn of the latest news, and we all know that by somepony, it could be anypony when it comes to the Princess of Friendship. My eyes drifted towards the nightstand, where on the tray beneath the drawers, I spotted a crinkled newspaper lying there inconspicuously in the darkness. Kneeling down and picking it up, my brows furrowing at the headlines defiantly staring back at me. I took a skim through the article, though that only left me with a bitter filth in my mouth, if anything. Hooves beginning to shake, I snuck another glance back at the title, gritting my teeth.

<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>

"Throw it away."

I tore my gaze from the paper, looking back at the princess. "Y-You really want me to—"

"Throw it away, or so help me, Flash Sentry!" she snapped, to which I crumpled it up, trotted towards the wastebasket and just tossed it in, giving the rumpled headlines one last disgusted glare. I settled back down onto my seat, shuffling about in a reckless search for comfort, before sighing quietly to myself to just bear with it. So bear with it I did, along with the minutes of temperate silence that followed between us, the opportune moment of a conversation selfishly stolen away by a bunch of loud crickets. Well, not that it mattered anyway; I wasn't really up for our subject of discussion. Instead, I took it as a diversion buying me a little more time, my mind racing against the generous five minutes in a frantic search for something a little more interesting. In the end, however, I had nothing else to provide.

"I'm not upset at you, if you want to know."

"Murderer?" Twilight gasped breathlessly, my voice apparently not reaching her. "Really?"

I shifted my glance to the bleach-white walls.

"They can't be serious..." she rasped, clutching her sheets tighter. "There wasn't even a murder! I'm still alive, aren't I?! I'm still here! It was all an accident... they knew it was an accident, we told them it was an accident!"

"Calm down, Twilight," I quickly interjected in a low hiss. "You'll wake the other patients."

"It was an accident..." she heaved softly; this time, my voice did reach her. "Flash, you can't let them do this to you. Please, you have to tell my brother or... or Cadance, at least! They'll listen to you!"

"Was it really an accident?"

It was a question I had asked myself too many times. Each time, I looked back to when it all happened. Each time, I stared into the abyss of the past, hoping for some hint to peer out from within the darkness. Each and every single time, I tossed and turned in the deepest recesses of my memory, trying to condense and strain something out from the pugnacious haze. I looked over my shoulder at the wastebasket, the ominous lettering of the header drifting over my eyes, before I turned my attention back to the flickering shadow behind the curtain. Twilight was now looking directly at me, her stare powerful enough to be able to burning holes through the curtain, that I'm certain. The weary cull of silence blanketing the room was toxic with shock and drear, the aura of it all now swirling around her. The luminous orb of magic on her horn was fizzing in place, sending her shadow whizzing about. I felt the tingles run up my spine, cold air brushing against my neck as I cemented my solemn stare.

"Really, Twilight," I spoke gravely. "Was it really an accident?"

Another round of silence culminated, this one lasting for several more seconds before she mustered up a reply:

"It was, Flash. I was there—"

"Do you really think that?"

"Faust's sake, you can't be serious!" Twilight cried. "What happened... what happened was an accident, Flash Sentry! You wouldn't do that!"

A grimace.

"How would you know?"

"Because—" her voice faltered and collapsed into naught, before quickly pitching itself back up again. "Because I just know, okay? You wouldn't, for crying out loud, you just wouldn't... would you?"

"I don't know," I sighed, shaking my head and burying it into my hooves. "W-Would I?"

I tried my best to contain my sporadic sobs; hopefully, all Twilight heard from me tonight in my fallen dignity was a few shaky gasps of utter delight. She wouldn't buy it if I told her that, I'm sure. No, she'll know me as the colt who cried just because he can't get a single fucking decision made right. We could've been talking about good things — better things — but we didn't, all because I had nothing nice to say. I could've asked about how her day was in the hospital like I did for the last three fucking visits because I know this big mess just has nothing nice about his recent day-to-day life! What kind of miserable, wallowing mule deserves the attention of the princess? What kind of worthless tumbleweed have business with the guard?

What kind of mistake does Equestria call me?

"Is that why you were upset at me?" Twilight's voice broke me out of my internal rants, my watery eyes lifting away from the cover of my hooves. "Because I don't remember? Because I can't remember?" she squeaked, trembling.

"Twilight, please—"

"I was right, wasn't I?" she laughed callously at the sky. "It's because I couldn't remember a thing about what happened that night that turned you like this! It's because I couldn't vouch for you that all this is happening to you, so you blame me for it!"

"Twilight, that's not true!"

"Then tell me what's true!" she shrieked, jerking her head towards me. "Because I'm sick of you saying that you actually did all those things, Flash Sentry! I'm sick of you pretending that there really wasn't an accident just because somebody wrote it on a fucking piece of paper! I'm sick of all this lies, Flash Sentry! Don't you see? These were all lies! And yet you just had to go be an idiot and swallow it all up because we all know that always goes well, don't we?!"

The sharp tone stabbed me in the heart, my throat gurgling and my jaw slack at her outcry.

"T-Twilight, I—"

"Get out. Get the fuck out."

"Twilight, I'm sorry—"

"You can be sorry by leaving; I've had enough of you for a night. Get out."

With that, the light of hope and the promises of a better conversation was snuffed out. Twilight Sparkle coldly turned to her side and faced away from me. I sat there for just a little longer, not until I was sure that she was finally asleep; the doctor had the heart to tell me about how she wasn't sleeping well these days and thought that I might be able to help. She probably knew that I was doing that, that I was making sure she would be alright. She hadn't barked at me to leave so far, that's for sure: the last thing a pony does not want to lose when trapped in a maelstrom of fabrications, accusations and disgust was the company of those around them. When I was certain she was asleep, I slowly got up and took my leave, greeting the nurses busy in their midnight shift with tired nods and stepping back into the outside world.

Luna's moon looked cold and distant with puffs of dark gray swirling around, the one-eyed glare of scrutiny accompanying me in my lonely journey to a friend's house. That's the strangest thing I find about friendship: that even in times like these, some of them — the ones that really care — would still stay on your side, even if they have nothing to gain. I've lost too many of my close acquaintances ever since the day it all happened, so you could understand how happy I was to still be able to find one who would stick by my side in a town as small as Ponyville. I took a glance back at the window where she would frequently look from, perhaps yearning to see her face again. The disappointment that followed was painless, and sure enough, I marched on, shaking my head at myself.

Oh, how far we've fallen...

Comments

[AngelDCS]

... I need to Now what is happening

[Starlight Nova]

What does Mamihlapinatapai mean?

[WritingSpirit]

6866975, 6872372 and 6867028,
Everything will be explained really soon, since this story's leeching my attention away from the other stories I'm working on.
Just wanna know: what do you think happened? I know that's asking a lot, seeing as I'm withholding a lot of information back, but I'd love to hear your side of the story.

6872343
Thank you for that!
I've read some of your stories and I'd say you're pretty good as well! Keep up the good work!

6872758
alumniroundup.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/tumblr_lhavwdHWw01qb8j7oo1_500.jpg
From the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego. One of the hardest words to translate.

[AngelDCS]

6874225 Flash's sarcasm got Twilight hurt. Problems in Yakyakingstan. That are my guestes. Flash would never hurt her.

[DarthSylar12]

I think this maybe my new favorite story. The pairing brought my attention, but I staying for the well crafted story and engaging mystery. This is how do you a good story and I am proud to follow and favorite this. And look forward to reading the next chapter.