being rewritten Human brought to equestria with no idea wear he is and meets young Sombra and make each other adoptive brothers until the king finds out then the princess
"You must not be from around here huh" asked the grey little unicorn was it, his horn was oddly shaped it was curved and smooth plus red tipped. His body was a dark charcoal grey and his eyes the irises are an amazing crimson red. He smiled up at me showing fanged teeth.
I get the feeling it is supposed to be Sombra, but then it´s a bit weird for me, I mean to see how he´s probably going to be the bad guy later. That is if you find a way to let your character live that long, or we just have a nice slice of life kind of story.
"Hey quarts shit was it, why dont you take you and your herd of coltfriends and leave before this gets ugly" I said hoping I got the wording right or else my insult won't work. He got really red in the face and started to run off his little gang didnt know what to do and just left. I felt two hooves wrap around my neck looking down it was Sombra.
I think I could say it went to easy, but today I´m alright with that.
"I understand I didnt lime the orphanage they kept forcing me into home I didnt like and they also didnt like me" I said laying on the makeshift bed, ruffling his hair again making it a common thing I guess he seems to like it.
Maybe you should not chose to many coincidences between those two, and maybe don´t make his past to sad, from the hero I mean. I think that maybe it looked for some people like he would go into the direction of a Gary Stue, but the only think I want to complain about now, are that they seems to have lived through the same past in a way. (I hope that sentence makes sense. I still learn my grammar)
I like it so far, but I wait for a few more chapters before I vote anything, till now you would get an upvote.
I lime this story
I get the feeling it is supposed to be Sombra, but then it´s a bit weird for me, I mean to see how he´s probably going to be the bad guy later. That is if you find a way to let your character live that long, or we just have a nice slice of life kind of story.
I think I could say it went to easy, but today I´m alright with that.
Maybe you should not chose to many coincidences between those two, and maybe don´t make his past to sad, from the hero I mean.
I think that maybe it looked for some people like he would go into the direction of a Gary Stue, but the only think I want to complain about now, are that they seems to have lived through the same past in a way. (I hope that sentence makes sense. I still learn my grammar)
I like it so far, but I wait for a few more chapters before I vote anything, till now you would get an upvote.
6905617 I apple this story
...I love it
sombra is now best pony...