It was a crisp, Spring afternoon in Fillydelphia: ponies of all kinds filled the streets and sidewalks, talking about innumerable topics, and doing an equal number of activities. At a small, open-air bistro, a light mulberry Earth Mare sat at a table, eating a fresh sandwich. She had a puffy, cerise mane, a tail to match, similarly coloured eyes, and a bunch of grapes and a strawberry on her flank. She was also wearing pale violet saddlebags bearing a similar motif.
After a few minutes of looking around the city block and eating, the mare noticed a particular stallion who caught her eye.
A moderate green Earth Stallion trotted about the park. His eyes were a deep red, he had a full, flowing cyan mane and tail, tied back with black bands, and an “X” formed by a frying pan and spatula decorating his flank. He looked about idly, seeming almost isolated from everypony nearby. A few seconds passed, and the stallion finally noticed the mulberry mare looking at him. Without hesitation, he approached her.
“Hey, Berry,” greeted he in a smooth, almost feminine voice. He wore a melancholy look on his face, but still beamed genuine joy at seeing his old friend again.
“Pan Sear," remarked Berry as she looked the stallion over. Her expression bore as much joy as that of the green stallion. “I haven’t seen you in years; how’ve you been”
“I’ve been doing well,” replied Pan Sear. “And yourself?”
Berry slid a chair out from under her table before she replied. “Not bad,” said she. “Would you like a seat?”
Pan sat down politely. “Thank you,” said he, bowing his head slightly. “Anyway, what brings you to Fillydelphia? I thought you lived in Ponyville.”
“I do, I do,” confirmed Berry. “I was just in town and you showed up.”
Pan gave his friend a condescending look. “I’m not a foal, Berry,” said he, irritated, “you weren’t just ‘in town;’ Ponyville’s hours away by any means of transport.”
“Well, maybe, uhh,” stuttered the mulberry mare, before visibly admitting defeat and admitting, “okay, fine. Yesterday, I was sitting at home, and I suddenly got a craving for one of your Pan Sear Slushy Specials!” She held her head in shame after she revealed her motive.
The green stallion simply giggled at the mare’s display. “You mean to tell me,” began he, still chuckling slightly, “that you came almost halfway across Equestria for a drink?”
Berry looked up, her mulberry face having shifted to a cherry red colour. “Well, yeah,” said she meekly, “but my name’s Berry Punch; it’s even shown by my Cutie Mark that I love drinks.”
Pan began to chuckle again. “It’s okay, Berry,” assured he. “Now, here’s the deal; I’m off today because the diner’s closed, but I’ll gladly take you to my place and make you that drink of yours, eh?” The stallion used his hoof to shift Berry’s attention to him as he told her, “and I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer; you’ve come too far to be denied.”
The mare smiled brightly at what Pan had said. “Thanks, Pan,” said she kindly, “you always were a sweetheart.”
“I do my best,” replied the stallion, modesty defining his tone.
“So, what’ve you been up to?” The mare’s curiosity shone at every question she asked.
“Not much,” said Pan Sear, “just been doing a lot of thinking.”
Berry looked even more curiously at her green friend. “Thinking? About what?”
The stallion sighed heavily. Leaning his head against a hoof, he responded distantly. “Too many things to name, Berry.”
“Well,” suggested the mare, “why not start with what’s troubling you the most?”
The stallion raised an eyebrow. “Troubling me? Nothing’s troubling me; what made you think that?” He spoke rapidly, as if trying to avoid the subject.
Taking note of this, Berry continued, her cerise eyes gazing into her friend’s magenta irises. “Sweetie, I know when something’s bothering somepony, especially somepony I’ve known since I was a filly.” Her eyes shone genuine concern as she continued, “you can tell me anything, Pan; what’s troubling you?”
Pan looked around at the various ponies about the area. “I’d rather not talk about it,” began he, “in case somepony can hear us.”
“Pan,” began Berry blankly, “if somepony’s eavesdropping on us, then they can kiss my flank.” She made her statement plain for anypony listening to hear. “Please,” continued she, the care returning to her smooth voice, “I want to help you; how can I do that if I don’t know what’s wrong?”
The stallion sighed again. accepting the fact, he said, “okay; it seems you’re not going to let it go, anyway.”
“Can I offer you’s guys some coffee?” asked a waiter, a pale brown Pegasus Stallion wearing a stained apron, as he approached the pair from the restaurant. Unbeknownst to him, he had inadvertently made Pan Sear extremely uncomfortable with his presence.
“Yes, please,” confirmed Berry politely. Pan only nodded slightly to confirm.
The waiter nodded and re-entered the building, emerging about a minute later, a platter holding two cups of steaming java on his back. He used his wings to slide the cups onto the table. “There you go, then; enjoy,” said he with a smile before Berry paid him for the drinks and he left the pair alone again.
Berry took a sip of her coffee before she noticed Pan‘s discomfort. “Are you alright?” asked she, clearly worried.
Pan stuttered for a moment before fully answering. “Oh.. I just.. I.. I don’t want that to happen when I say what I want to.” The stallion looked down at his cup, avoiding eye contact with his friend.
“It won’t,” assured Berry calmly. “Now quit stalling and tell me what your problem is.” The mare sounded impatient, but a tenderness in her voice still suggested that she was still very worried.
“Okay,” sighed Pan Sear as he thought aloud to himself. “How do I explain this?” After a few seconds, he looked his friend in the eye and asked her, “you’re physically a mare, aren’t you?”
“Ummm, yes,” answered the mulberry mare, confused. “What does that mean?”
“Let me finish,” said Pan, holding up a hoof. “And I’m physically a stallion, right?”
Berry sighed from confusion. “From what I can see, yes,” confirmed she.
The stallion sighed as he prepared to speak again. “And your, umm, mind is comfortable with your being a mare, yes?”
Berry nodded. “I.. guess so,” replied she unenthusiastically. “What does this have to do with anything?”
Pan’s tone shifted from a nervous stutter to a blank, clear voice one would associate with a hardened soldier. “It has to do,” said he, “with my problem. Your mind is a mare’s mind; content with your body as it stands.” He then looked down at himself as his tone lightened again and he continued, “my mind, however, isn’t so content.”
“So,” began Berry as her confusion lessened slightly, “what you tried to explain to me is that you’re a stallion, but want to be a mare?”
Pan Sear nodded, shame evident in his expression.
The mulberry mare smiled brightly at her friend as she lifted his head with her hoof to face him. “Come on,” said she tenderly. “Walk with me; talk with me.” She lifted his head up further, making him stand on his hooves.
“Okay,” complied Pan in slightly higher spirits as the pair trotted off slowly.
A Transgender journey fic! That's fresh!
Kudos for treading uncertain waters!
What the?
Well, I can honsetly say that I will not read one word of this simply out of principle. Sorry bro =C just not something I can do. I will however, link you to a we site that will gladly fall in love with your fanfiction =D
https://efchan.net/ef/index.html
highest concentration of LGBT in the whole damn fandom. enjoy =)
"inside he feels as though he should be a mare."
Props to you for being original but...
chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-gifs-nope.gif
Nooooooooooooope.
Well, I can honestly say this isn't your run-of-the-mill fic. This is original, no doubt about it.
Really interesting conept. I like where its going so far; i dont think ive ever seen a transgender fic before, and you're handling this pretty well. Fav'd. keep it up!
Oh my Luna... something original...
I'm interested to see where this goes.
Gonna watch dis... Looks interestin :3
Before I read....
FINALLY! Someone finally writes a story acknowledging TG people!
Post-read: Looks very promising.
706334
Erm... are you being judgmental? I'm offended, personally.
706327 and 706334
Well, while I welcome criticism and nay-sayers to speak their minds, I've got 7 approval thumbs, 7 favourites and five comments of approval; this story isn't going anywhere. Majority rules, and all.
706320 , 706438 , 706743 , 706788 , and 706802 :
Thank the all of you for your words of approval and encouragement, and thank you as well for even reading the damned thing.
706802
Of course not.
I was joking. A story like to me sounds like some very
embarrassing and silly antics are going to be in it. Not my thing.
I'm impressed by what I've read so far and will be continuing to watch with interest.
Tracking for sure, this seems great so far. Its nice to see a transgender fic up here, its the first one I've ever seen.
This makes me feel like I should finish my next chapter... I'll do that later.
Anyway, great start to a chapter, you've already introduced the internal crisis, now I wait to see who will die.
706962
look, im not judging and im sorry it came out like that. I am pirsionaly bisexual and I have a varry good friend that wa TG. so im sorry. In fact i think I will read this. I jumped the giun on because i thought you were making fun of TG people and i was offended
i didnt relise this was serious.
and im sorry or my poor spelling, im in the hospital and doped up right now
707008 and 707323
Thank the both of you; I won't disappoint
707957
Thank you, My Friend. I have seemed to earn that reputation, haven't I?
708100
I see, I see. Terribly sorry for the inconvenience, My Friend. While I can take a good joke, I'd never consider slandering Transsexuals in my stories; I'd be a hypocrite if I did. Anyway, why are you at hospital and doped up?
708172
>why are yu in the hospital
well would you beleave me if I told you I am literaly on my death cot right now? beleave it or not...
but thats beside the point. I should be apologising to you for taking the story out of context. that was fully my fault. I also feel like an ass for making me look like the varry thing I always disliked: a closed minded hater
>shutters
im not =] beleave me
708218
1. That's not beside any point, My Friend; I think that's a rather pertinent point if I'm honest. I don't mean to pry or bother you with it, but do you "know," or do you "think."
2. Once again, I'm sorry for the lack of clarity. Should I work on that?
708241i
Im sorry.And I know for certan that I curently am. I think I will be still wrighting for another week however. Time is somethin that is hard to dertermin. :/ its jo bother. I just relised how stjpid it would be of me to mention my current situation and expect others to shrug it off
and no need to work on clerity :) thatwas an error soly on my stupidity
708267
Mate, I'm sorry to offend you if I do, but I shrug it off every time it's mentioned; I've been around death far too much for it to bother me any longer. The most emotion I show regarding it is written words of the characters in my stories; in my mind, it holds no sway. And even if I weren't around it so much, it wouldn't bother me, anyway; every living creature in this universe is 100% likely to die; why does it bother people?
708296
Friend,I have beenwithin war. I have seen death first hand. How could one be so shallow as to ay that huamns are like other creaters destined to die. Take evry memory, evry happy time, evry sad time, all the people yu knew, how you have touched the lives of those people. Now imagine all of that fading away and being destroyed by a crule god. Thie is death. All of he love and life in ourslfs being stolen from us. I am scareed, but more then that Iam scarwd for the people in the hospital around me ho are at hells waiting room. God knows I had varry little to live for and my departure will amount to varry little, but I have meny expire ces nd love in my heart. we are greater then animals. We can feel love. the most beutyful of emotions. so no, i am not offended. Because thoughI have lived through seeing my friends and family arive in hell, i will never "get used to it"
Quite frankly, i beleave you should be ashamed of yourself for not seeing the value in human life. I hope you will someday.
Yes, yes. So. Much. Yes.
We need these types of fics more often. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
708390
I never said that; I said I know it all will end eventually. Believe whatever you'd like to believe, Comrade, be it in an ancient piece of literature or whatever else the so-called "Master Race" has developed to explain the unexplainable, but don't shove it down anyone else's throat.
708445
human life and love is a beutyful thing. Weare all beutyful. you too. and im sorry, but think evryone and there life deserve to be valued and accepted for who theyare. we will all die, but thay dosnt mean it is a good thing. thats just how I feel. sorry if you think otherwise but I will continue to stand by my principles.
708482
And I will continue to stand by mine, Comrade. I honour your staunchness in your beliefs; you don't find that every day. I would physically shake your hand if I could.
708495
im sorry if you feel im "shoving my philosophy down your throught" but dont you think love and tolerence encompases valuing people for who theyare therwfor valuing there lives?
im sorry. Just something I felt I had to say. I apreciat the gestureand though the joke may seem a little morbid and twisted: I will stand by my prnciples to the grave. =)
I need to get some rest now, it is little past elevon in the mrning now.
all I can do is thankyou for hopfuly taking my words to thought insted of tossing them aside like meny do. =]<3
708530
If anything I tell you is remembered by you, let it be this:
I value life, all life, but I know it all ends. That doesn't in any way mean that I think that life is meaningless; it means I know it ends. And, I've always taken all of my friends' words to thought, and have never forgotten what they said; you're no exception.
And, if this is the last time I get to say anything you you, I want my last words to you be this: I love you.
708561
thankyou.
that truely means alot <3
708172
Yes, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing, is it?
awesome story, why is her life in a pan though
It's a good start. It makes me want to read more.