My Services Are a Curse?

by Black Hailstorm

The Number One Assistant

“We’ll see you in a few days Spike” Twilight said as the dragon, the mare, and their friends stood by the door to Twilight’s castle.

Spike nodded, a smile- weak smile on his face. “You guys will be safe right?”

Rarity smiled, nuzzling her friend, after pulling him close with her magic. “We’ll be fine Spikey-Wikey, you just take care alright?”

Spike nodded as he was released. Watching his friends go on heading in the direction of the train station, where they would head to Canterlot to receive their important mission from Princess Celestia.

Originally intending to go with his sister-in-law, the love of his life and his friends the baby dragon had been told he should stay in Ponyville and wait for them. He’d been reluctant. He’d argued, he’d made retorts, statements on how they’d need him. But the Princess had said that this mission would be a bit trifling for him. So she had stated he stay here, in Ponyville. While his friends faced the challenges of this world and whatever awaited him ahead.

Spike sighed, shutting the door now that his friends were no longer in his sights. His ears drooping as he turned his back to the crystal door and climbed the steps up to the castle’s common room.

Reaching there in a few seconds the dragon took his seat by Twilight’s throne. Looking around the dragon stared in silence, examining each empty chair, and how cold and alone this room felt with his friends all gone.

It felt weird, strange. Almost...sad.

How many times had he been told to remain behind because of his size? How many times had he been told not to join because he was a baby dragon, because he was a child? Because he wasn’t strong enough?

How many times had he worried since the appearance of this cutie map, had he been concerned for his friends safety. Wondering just how much danger they were being thrown into.

How many times, did he wish...did he wish he was a bit older, stronger, more durable and powerful. So that he could protect his friends. So that he wouldn’t just be Twilight’s number one assistant, her little brother, her friend, but also her equal.

How many times had he and the others been thrown into danger only for somepony else to save him or all of them in general?

How many times had he asked himself these same questions?

The dragon sighed, his body language radiating laziness, his expression full of sadness.

Here he was. Sitting on this crystal seat. Doing nothing, while his friends were out there doing something.

A chuckle escaped Spike’s lips as he gave the empty seats another lookover. He had just recalled how he had tried to prove to the others the day before, how he would be able to prove his use and proficiency during this new mission. Only for him to muck up everything when Twilight and the others had told him to stop.

Another sigh.

It doesn’t make sense, he grumbled. Why should it? The dragon had spent his entire life not only serving his sister, being her number one assistant and offering his support whenever necessary, only for him to be left behind on occasions when he felt he was most needed.

He recalled the time they had been sucked into one of his comic books. How all of them had gained the amazing powers of each hero he so greatly admired and respected. And how he had been left to be the pathetic side kick.

Of course this was something he’d long since forgotten. Spike knew he was of worth. He knew he was important, he knew he could offer help when necessary and he knew his own limits in the things he could do.

That didn’t change the fact of how he felt though. Always getting left behind when he believed he could help. Always having his karma catch up to him when he wanted to do something that strayed from Twilight’s desires. Always having life seem to make him the pun or butt of all it’s jokes when he was trying to do something on his own time.

It was like he had no say in his own life. It was like he was being controlled, like a puppet by life itself. It annoyed, frustrated and infuriated him to no end how this would always happen.

A memory of how he had tried to offer his services to Applejack, only to recall his embarrassing mistake, after mistake. It made the baby dragon outwardly cringe.

“How could I have failed at cooking?” he muttered to himself, a form of anger and new wave of sadness washing over him. “I’m an excellent cook!”

That’s right it made no sense at all. How many times had he failed to complete something, only and only when his work or desires did not bend around Twilight and the other’s wills and focused more on himself and himself alone.

And then it hit him. Something popped into his head, something he’d never ever think to ask or question in his entire life of servitude to Twilight.

“Are my services a curse?”

How many times had he gone on Twilight’s orders or done something for Twilight and the others and succeeded. Sombra, The Sirens, Sunset Shimmer, and even Discord.

Revelation dawned upon the dragon as this thought occurred to him. It was baffling, mind numbing almost to think of such a horrid thing. He shook his head ridding himself of the horrible thought.

“No!” he said with conviction. “My services can’t be just karma playing with me, I succeed because- it’s because I can help! It’s because I’m there for them!”

And it was true. It was so very very true. It was because he was there for them. To help them, through their toughest times. It was because he was their friend, it was because he cared about them, that he always stuck by their side always helping his allies even if him and others weren’t always given the credit they deserved for their own participation in the matter.

However the thought, much like the flu came back with a force.

What if my services, everything I do that goes against what Twilight and the others want are the only things I can ever do? a part of him asked.

Spike stood up from his seat pacing the floor as he stared at his reflection on the crystal floor. “No” he reassured himself. “That’s silly.”

Is it?

“Of course it is” he said to his reflection.

You know that isn’t true Spike. The dragon bit his lip, a great wave of confusion and mixed feelings flowing over him.

This changed everything.

If he was somehow cursed, somehow linked to Twilight or the others, possibly being made to by some strange force to comply with every whim, every order, every desire of Twilight’s and be incapable of doing something he wants then what did that mean for him?

Was he supposed to sit by Twilight’s beck and call, for the rest of his very long life till either he or his adoptive sister expired?

Spike shook his head. “No, I don’t have a problem helping Twilight. I don’t mind being the one that has to wait for her and the others to return.”

But you do his reflection chided. You do and you know it. Since this map appeared you haven’t been able to accompany Twilight and the others in a long time. You haven’t been able to be their voice of reason in a long time. And eventually, they won’t need you anymore.

The dragon’s eyes narrowed at his own reflection scowling as he glared at it, the reflection doing the exact same thing.

“That’s not true.”

I know it’s not true. But you’re thinking it aren’t you? Spike’s expression relaxed, defeated by the obviousness that was the truth.

Would it be so bad for you to go off on an adventure of your own? When you went to find your roots as a dragon you discovered something. That you aren't like other dragons. Wouldn’t it be nice to see what you could do without Twilight and the others always having to follow you or you them?

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to be yourself, do what you wanted for once without having to have karma or whatever keeps you bound to Twilight and the others worry you constantly?

Spike bit his lip. The idea was tempting. Very tempting. He closed his eyes, mulling the thought over in his mind for a while.

Once he’d believed he was ready the baby dragon rose, no longer looking at his reflection but heading towards the stairs.

He knew what he had to do.

---

“Spike! We’re back!” Twilight said cheerfully.

Pinkie Pie popped in with a grin, followed by the others. “Where is the little guy?” she asked trotting around the room, but stopping when she saw a letter on the table.

“Spike!!” Rainbow Dash bellowed.

“Spikey! Where are you dear?” Rarity called as she trotted up the stairs to his and Twilight’s room.

“Did you find him?” Applejack asked coming out of the library.

“No” Twilight said coming out of the kitchen. “You think he went out to get something to eat?”

“Maybe.” Rainbow Dash said rubbing her head with a hoof.

“Well he wasn’t in your room” Rarity said returning from the stairs.

Fluttershy had noticed Pinkie Pie hadn’t been moving from her spot near the table since entering. “Pinkie, what’s wrong?”

The mare didn’t move, her hair and tail however that was a different story. Both deflated a second after Fluttershy had asked the question.

“Pinkie what’s wrong?” Fluttershy and the others asked moving towards their saddened friend. The pink mare didn’t respond, but simply held out the letter she had read before burying her face in her hooves.

“Just....read that.”

Twilight took the letter in her magic, clearing her throat as she read the words written on it. The words written in Spike’s handwriting.

“Dear Friends,

Hey guys...It’s Spike in case you didn’t notice haha. Kind of strange huh? I usually only write these letters for you guys when you ask, but here I am writing one for probably the second time since coming to Ponyville almost two years ago. We’ve been through a lot huh?

Facing Discord, Sombra, Chrysalis. Me becoming a rampaging dragon. Sorry about that by the way.

Twilight’s crazy moments. Applejack’s stubborn sessions, Rainbow Dash’s crazy stunts, Rarity’s graceful exaggerations and Fluttershy’s small panic attacks. Pinkie being well...Pinkie.

...Yeah, we’ve been through a lot haven’t we?

Ok, Deep breath Spike...Well here goes.

"I love you guys. You all mean the world to me. Twilight, you’re my sister, you’re my family, you’re my friend. You raised me after I hatched and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it and love you for it. You, Shining Armor, Mom and Dad. You all took me in, raised me from a small drake- well I’m still small but you get my point- to the tough little guy I am now. Thank you Twilight. And I’ll always be your number one assistant.

Applejack, you’re a great mare. One tough pony that’s for sure. You and Dash both. No one could buck better apples than you. And you sure as heck know how to rock that Stetson. And I have to say out of all the elements I’ve always thought that you and Dash had both of yours kind of mixed up. In all honesty, I always thought you were loyalty. You’re honest to the toot, there’s no doubt about it. But there’s no other pony aside from you and the others that I’d rather have behind my back if I’m ever in a tough spot.

Pinkie. Pinkie. Pinkie. You are one of the most inspirational ponies I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. And since I lived with Twilight at Canterlot for most of my life, before moving to Ponyville I met quite a bit of influential figures when I accompanied her in her studies, and you my friend are the one pony I know that puts so much effort into making others happy. Always trying to bring a smile. Never change.

Rainbow Dash, you are by far the coolest pony I’ve ever met. You’re courageous, tough, just as stubborn as AJ, and one of the most honest ponies I’ve ever met. Like I said I always thought you and Aj’s elements were switched up, but you’re one of the most loyal ponies I’ve ever had be my friend. And I know that even if there were some kind of crazy event where the world and everypony turned against me (And believe me I don’t doubt that could happen, we have Discord after all) I know that you’d be the pony to stick by my side just as well.

Fluttershy. You were the first pony that actually showed quite a bit of interest in me when we first came here. I can’t tell you how many times Twilight would ‘listen’ to me when I’m talking about other things that weren’t related to her studies back in Canterlot, but I’m glad that changed when we got here. Thanks for being her friend. And for being mine.

Finally there’s Rarity...

All the five mares had been listening attentively as Twilight spoke. Her voice breaking with emotion as she read each mare’s personal letter from Spike. A thought crossing her mind as she read on, only to be pushed down by her doubts. By her hopes. Upon reaching Rarity’s however the mare began to tear up, unable to fully read the words.

Rarity stepped forward her eyes having grown a tad wet from hearing all the kind words that Spike had so graciously offered, her own sense of fear along with the others beginning to rise as Twilight had begun to reach the end of the letter. However she frowned when the mare began to freeze at her own part.

Desiring just what her little Spike had wanted to say in his letter, but Twilight wasn’t willing to seem to be capable of saying.

They all waited, wiping their own eyes in the process as Twilight composed herself and began again, doing her best to express the words Spike had left her to express the dragon’s true feelings for the mare.

Finally there’s Rarity. Rarity, you mean a lot to me...You-....You mean a lot to me, and that is why.

That is why I’m leaving Ponyville. It’s time I stop being the baby dragon you all know. Grow up, find my own path in life without having to stick by some kind of fate or be just the number one assistant. It’s time I find my own path.

So I’m going on a journey. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I don’t know how long it will take. I don’t know where to begin or where I’m even going, all I know is that if I don’t make this trip and find my own path, I’ll keep feeling this way. Trapped between the feeling of wanting to help you all and continue being Twilight’s number one assistant, and wanting, desiring to find my own path in life.

And so it is with great sadness that my services will be on hiatus. I will return. I will have found my way by then. I’ll be better, stronger, and have an idea with what I want to do with my life. And when I come back-”

Twilight paused, swallowing the lump in her throat as tears began to sting her eyes.

“What! What is it?!” Dash asked her voice hoarse from the own tears she had shed.

“Give her a second sugar” Applejack said placing a kind hoof on Dash’s shoulder. The mare calmed, sitting back down in her seat, her wings fluttering quickly, as she tried to relax.

Twilight continued when she’d calmed down.

"And when I come back. Maybe then I can finally find myself on equal level with you all. Please don’t hate me. I understand if you’re mad but...just understand that I had to do this.

And that I love you all.

Your Number One Assistant,

Spike.

Silence filled the room. No one said a word. With Spike gone the group of mares actually realized just how cold and awkward it was without their snarky dragon friend, making comments and providing his own input on a situation like this.

For the first time in a long time all six mares felt the pain in their hearts, knowing they’d lost someone important to them, despite him not being truly gone. Just lost.

For the first time Twilight realized as she let her tears flow freely onto the parchment, her friends each shedding a tear or weeping in silence. Just how much she missed her number one assistant.

Just how much she missed Spike.

Author's Note:

So I understand that the season for this event is long past due and that I'm pretty late in making a story like this. But I thought it'd be interesting to see how Spike would view things on how if he were to be left out of something of such importance how he would feel, and how that would impact his views on previous events that occurred in his life in the ways he impacted both positive and negatively.

Well anyway hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading.

Comments

[RadicalDishonesty]

Ah. Something based on Dr. Wolf's musings on Spike's wavering competence? Interesting.

... If you take Dr. Wolf's idea that Spike is magically enforced to be a sidekick to Twilight, though... his leaving is gonna go pretty darn badly. But the show isn't actually consistent with that idea, since he has succeeded without Twilight a few times... and from anecdotes he helps out Rarity pretty consistently...

So, maybe it's better if we take this as having to take risks to grow/Spike allowing the expectations of him being just the assistant to hold him back.

[J-Russ]

Hoping for a sequel

[Shadowsciver]

Shows not over

[Black Hailstorm]

6743006 I meant season, not sure why I typed show.

[SkyDragonMC]

You should expand your story. I've read many like this, most of them good. But, I think that you could make an amazing story off of this. The way you phrase everything captured my attention and left me wanting more.

[Black Hailstorm]

6743686 I'll probably continue the story. I've got a few that I do plan on continuing I'm just a bit swamped with my other stories at the moment is all.

[SkyDragonMC]

6743709 Take your time. A rushed story is a poor story.

[Black Hailstorm]

6743727
True true. I'll probably get to working on one similar like this later along the line with a longer outcome. This was just a test to see how it'd be received and frankly I'm glad that y'all are enjoying this so much. I'll be sure to keep that in mind thanks;

[TheWorstDiscord]

God dammit I'm crying...
This story is so beyond perfect I can't even begin to explain why. It's the perfect sad fic I've been looking for. Your characterization is on point, Spike's soliloquies are lovely, the letter brought tears to my eyes. And I started crying when I reached the end...
I commend you Sir, have a like, favorite, and all my freaking love.

[Aotrs Commander]

In recent seasons, I've wondered about Spike's potential magical enforcement myself. My own musing were that it might have been some form of remnant from whoever had his egg originally (perhaps some dark magic user, seeking to bind a dragon to their will, before he was rescued as an egg), which mixed in with Twilight's magical burst... Leaving something that occasionally plays up (especially when Twilight is either out of range, of he's doing some counter to her wishes (even unconscious wishes, which might explain Princess Spike) and slaps him with a boat-load of bad luck, the last remnant of something that, if ever completed properly, might have been much worse.

It's an interesting theory.

[MadNimrod]

Good gosh, reading this while listening to a certain song from Undertale really puts tears in one's eyes.

I really liked this one. Really brings home how sometimes we gotta leave our comfort zones to learn who we really are, and how we never truly know what we have until it's gone. Cheesy I know, but hey I'm an old-fashioned guy.

Part of me really REALLY hopes you write another one-shot showing Spike's return and how everypony reacts to seeing him after who knows how long. Although part of me also understands if you don't want to, thereby letting us readers picture for ourselves how his return would go. Or maybe you could write a multi-chapter fic showing the times Spike's letters reach Ponyville, and the last chapter would be his unannounced return. That would be cool too.

Ok, definitely faving this one.

[TheArchive]

Felt a little forced, honestly. I just couldn't really take it seriously because it simply didn't feel like I was reading about Spike. If anything, the writers are cursed because they all seemingly become completely brain dead whenever they try and make a Spike episode.

As it stands, I simply can't take the drama seriously because it's being overly dramatic over a ridiculous show gag. It's like a story trying to be serious about how the tech level is all over the place, or how Twilight survived an anvil, piano, and all kinds of stuff crushing her into the ground before being in casts for all of five seconds before she was completely fine again. None of that was meant to be taken seriously, so when a story does so it just falls flat for me.

Still, it was very well written and descriptive, so the writing quality itself is great!

[Jack Kellar]

Originally intending to go with his sister-in-law, the love of his life and his friends

I didn't know Sweetie Belle was going.

[Zubric]

I know most of these spike Doris's are really author mouh peices . But still good writing and yeah , by this point spike really is in the background a lot . Jeez and we thight Aj was under used

[Dark Tail]

Its funny how one episode can change how we look at a character. Had I read this before the Dragon Lord episode, I might have agreed. But the recent episode has shown that not only does Twilight see him as an equal but that Spike has grown as a character. Twilight was willing to allow Spike to risk his life while cheering him on from the side lines the whole way. In the end, Spike managed to not only win the day, but make a new friend and ally amongst the dragons, something I don't think Twilight could have ever accomplished.

[Ryuga Kishatu]

I enjoyed reading this story you just imagine how Spike must being gong throughout the season were he was abuse or being left out. Spike is really needs more character development the Writters don't even know what to do with him they just made as the voice of reason to Twilight abuse and not tagging alone with mother mane 6 which makes me wonder what is Spike doing when he offscreen

[Swashbucklist]

6754747 You said more-or-less what I was going to. The forced wistfulness in his letter was filled to the brim with cringe.

[johnnyomon21]

make a sequel please!

[putoregistro]

Originally intending to go with his sister-in-law, the love of his life and his friends the baby dragon had been told he should stay in Ponyville and wait for them. He’d been reluctant. He’d argued, he’d made retorts, statements on how they’d need him. But the Princess had said that this mission would be a bit trifling for him. So she had stated he stay here, in Ponyville. While his friends faced the challenges of this world and whatever awaited him ahead.

wanting to protect him makes you see him defenseless, twilight.
When in fact it's a fucking fire breathing dragon