FireStarter

by Cereal-Killer

Chapter VII: Things Get Buggy

The final day.

My new residence will be Ponyville Castle, Twilight was happy to have me around, especially seeing as I was going to be doing some experiments combining Human science with Equestrian magic.

Moonflower has completely stopped talking to me, not even attending the sessions about teaching me to be a captain, meaning I had to ask Celestia if I could borrow her one.

Captain Swift was a grey old pegasus stallion, not really much to talk about, not too good in conversation. He's the kind of teacher who just gives you a textbook and tells you to copy down whatever is in there.

It's for that reason I won't bother detailing the sessions.

I woke up slowly and comfortably, for once. No Celestia yanking off the covers, or Lavan telling me to get up.

Not even a Thestral mare waiting for me by the fire or in the corridor.

Solemnly, I get up. Why am I so unhappy? I'm going to be free of the castle. I'll still have Lavan and Twilight.

Occasionally.

Getting dressed, I head down to the dining hall. Celestia is waiting for me, along with Discord and... Luna?

Discord is his usual self, but it's clear that Celestia is less jovial than usual.

"Hello. Having a good morning?" I yawn, sitting in front of my bacon and eggs, beginning to ravage them. They were cooked how I like them, thanks to the kitchen staff. I actually taught them how to make a pretty nice curry, which has apparently gone off well with the nobles.

Discord perked up at my voice, "Johnny! Are you ready to go to Ponyville? I've been asked to take you, it's going to be a lot of fun with another abomination around town!" Discord had created a chariot made of chocolate, poised next to a hole in the wall. Well at least I won't get hungry on the way there.

Celestia was next, "I expect letters from you on our new guards, Captain, as well as some of your findings about this scientific-magic hybrid subject you've theorised.

Luna, ever the charmer, asked me bluntly: "Why has my captain begun slacking? I assume it is because of you, for thou art rather close to her, or you 'were' rather close to her."

"I have some idea but it's rather far-fetched." REALLY far-fetched.

"If you were to do me one thing before you leave, could you help her, she seems rather hopeless. I will not have any of those under my command fall unwell. She is too useful to have in such a state of disarray." So she only wants her to be better so she can work.

"Fine, I haven't said goodbye to her yet anyway." A few more strips of bacon and I would be done with breakfast anyway. I heard Discord sigh, then making a noise not unlike a car locking. A car would be nice at some point...

Eating the last scraps of food, I push off of the table, making my way to the barracks, a large building just at the edge of the training yard.

----

The looks I'm getting from guards as I walk in doesn't full me with confidence. I know Each captain has their own room, at the back of the barracks, behind their subordinates' quarters. I swiftly made my way passed a couple of glaring day guards, one of them trying to look badass, brandishing his spear.

Moon was sat at her desk, writing something I couldn't get a good look at. Once she noticed me, her concentrated gaze dropped, and she just scowled at me.

Our eyes met, locking as we faced off against each other.

"I'm going." My words caused her scowl to deepen. I sighed, turning around in the open doorway. "Goodbye, Moonflower." I waited a few seconds for a response, receiving none. Ieft the door slightly ajar, soon hearing it shut behind me.

Well that didn't work...

----

The castle slowly grew smaller as Discord and I flew away. The morning light hitting the castle looked beautiful, each of the stained glass windows still visible shine bright with colour, projecting the endeavours of Twilight and her friends, along with a few other historic heroes.

"Why didn't we just teleport?" Q can do that can't he?

"Well this is much more fun, and you can't get hungry on it either! Want a piece?" Discord pulled off a large chunk of white chocolate from the side of our confectionery carriage.

"Not in the mood." I feel like that should of gone... better.

Discord flattened slightly, trying to cheer me up in different comical ways. I soon ended up tuning out the Draconequus' blabbing.

Wait, why am I getting so depressed over this!? I can just go back whenever I want!

'You'll have to practice your teleportation. Nice work with Moon by the way. It looked like it went swimmingly.'

Ah, the prat under my hat is back.

'First of all, you don't wear a hat. Second of all we're both prats.

Touché.

'Don't get French with me.'

I'll speak whatever language I want with you, Amigo.

'Oh, look! I appear to have found the part of your brain that handles bladder control! Wouldn't it be a shame if something were to happen to it...' Lavan semi-threateningly explained.

Ok, I give in. Please don't make me call in an unscheduled rain storm on Ponyville. Lavan chuckled before going silent again.

Discord was still talking, not having noticed that I was ignoring him, "...and then I said, WELL WHY NOT BOTH?" The Chimera rolled over laughing, clutching his sides.

"Cool story." I automatically replied.

"I know! Gelding IS the best punchline." Gelding? What's that?

"Hey Q-" I began, only to be interrupted by the chaos spirit.

"Were here! Pinkie has quite the welcoming party set up for you when we touch down, so hold on to your perceptions of physics!" Did he get even more eccentric with old age, or is it just me?

As Ponyville grew nearer, I could make out a few distinct shapes on the ground, coming in an assortment of colours.

'Princess Twilight and the bearers of the elements, it seems.' I'm pretty sure I can see Spike on top of Rarity's back.

Thanks for the heads up, hot head.

The chocolate carriage (which was just flying through the air, not even being drawn by Pegasi) slowly made a descent as we grew closer, the almost Tudor-age houses becoming more much more detailed in my vision.

Rainbow Dash flew up to meet us, because she's like the birthchild of Sonic and a packet of Skittles.

"Uhh...Sup dude." The sky. God, that joke is so horrible.

"Found I have magic, it's pretty cool actually. How's it been in Ponyville? Hopefully you lot haven't angered any demons or monsters while I'm away. If anything like that's happening, I want in." Rainbow Dash laughed.

"Nah, no monsters, but what are demons?"

"Creatures from Tartarus." Longest conversation I've ever had with a normal Pegasus, this. Discord flew ahead, and was currently hugging the bearers, everyone except Fluttershy was attempting to escape. I smiled, "lucky you aren't down there."

"You got that right, I don't know how Fluttershy deals with that guy! I mean, he tried to plunge Equestria into eternal chaos! TWICE!"

"When was this? No one's told me about that." Rainbow Dash then explained both of Discord's imprisonments. Soap roads? Flying pigs? I'd say that's pretty tame. The chariot landed quite roughly, nearly throwing me over. But thanks to my pro standing skills, I survived.

I was quickly greeted with a surprise hug from Twilight, which I actually didn't mind, and ended up reciprocating.

"Hi," Twilight said as she dropped from the hug, a barely noticeable blush on her cheeks.

'I bet she's thinking about your little pencil dick.'

NO SHE'S NOT!

'I like how you didn't deny that you have a pencil dick.'

...

'Ok, ok, ill stop, jeez stop getting so huffy.' The spirit trailed off.

Good thing you learned your lesson.

"Where are we off to then? I don't really have anything packed, so we don't need to go to the castle."

Pinkie was the first to speak up, "Sugarcube Corner of course!" She proclaimed as if it was obvious.

"Ehh, I'm not hungry," I casually replied. Pinkie looked absolutely crestfallen for all of about two secondswords before she burst into liveliness again. Her hair seemed to deflate and inflate at will, or something.

"Well, oke dokie, but make sure to get there sometime, or they'll be consequences!" Her tone become more menacing for the last part of her reply. Dark much?

"What kind of consequences?" I asked.

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie both looked between each other before narrowing their eyes, and smiling scarily. Pinkie told me this.

"Pranks. Pranks pranky enough to prank you to the prank-terlife." All of that was in the most serious voice the Earth pony could muster, making it seem even worse than the should've been.

'I'll make sure to remind you later.'

You'd better do, or we're both screwed.

'You should go find your changeling friend, now that I think about it.'

"Girls," I paused, "and Spike. I need to go find my 'friend' quick, you know where he is?"

Suprisingly, Applejack answered, "Just a few houses down from the castle, off to the right if yer entering, he's next to the 'Bob Bon Sweet shop', ya can't miss it."

"Thanks AppleJack." I set off for Helix's house, which he somehow managed to buy with only one month's pay.

----

Walking up to the door, I realised it was slightly ajar.

'probably just kept it open, it's boiling out here.'

Most likely, I opened the door fully, and my first view of his home was kind of shit, to be honest, I don't think he's cleaned it at all. I searched the entire house for the self-exiled changeling, coming up with nothing.

'I don't like this.' Me neither.

As I was leaving, I noticed a note plastered to the door.

Elements of Harmony.

I'm sure you remember Queen Chrysalis? I've taken your puny little friend to be harvested.

Try and get him back if you dare.

Your soon to be ruler, and harvester

-Queen Chrysalis

Motherfu-

'I see her game. It's pretty obvious what she's planning.'

What is she doing?

'She's trying to bait out the elements by telling them he's a pony, in order for them to be captured, leaving Equestria devoid of its most practical defence. Shes probably signed an agreement with another nation to share resources if they aid the attack effort.'

You're probably right, so I'm going to go.

'Alone? Really? You have at least one person who can help you.'

Who?

Moonflower, if you're lucky. Maybe Flagon? He seems to be one of those more veteran guys.'

You're just saying that because he lost his wings.

'I'm actually being serious with you, and you're still joking? Your friend, the only reason you aren't sitting in a cell right now, is most likely being dragged back to an angry Queen to get his horn ripped off and shoved up his ass so he bleeds out from his bum, and you're taking the piss out of MY SUGGESTIONS FOR HELP!?'

...Let's go talk to Twilight, she's a princess, so she'll know what to do.

'You have problems.' looks who's talking Mister Fire Fetish.

I know, and I don't really mind to be honest.

Rereading the note a few times, I ran to the castle. "Twilight! We've got an emergency!" She quickly teleported in front of me, taking the note I held out once she saw it. Her eyes quickly scanned the note, shrinking marginally as she did so. "We need to contact the princesses. Where's Spike?"

"He went with Rarity to the boutique! Get closer to me, I'll be able to teleport us both out." Twilight beckoned me closer. I put a hand on her back, before I experienced the familiar, surging effect of teleportation. When we arrived we were in front of a... carousel? That's really fucking morbid considering it was made by equines, it's got bodies pierced on spikes, for them at least. Plot Twist: Rarity is a serial killer.

Twilight galloped in first, with me trailing behind her. By the time I was through the door, Rarity was nowhere to be found; but Twilight had Spike by her; reciting a letter as the drake scribbled it down on a piece of parchment that came from... somewhere.

Finishing the message (Twilight had attached Chrysalis' note to the scroll), Spike shot a small jet of flame at it, the green embers quickly flew out through a window towards Canterlot. So that's what those weird messages that kept dropping in on Celly all the time. Twilight must be some sort of compulsive reporter to Sunbutt.

Spike and I nodded a greeting quickly, settling down and waiting for the princess's reply.

...And waiting...

...Aaaand waiting...

'She's either masturbating or eating cake, that's why she hasn't replied yet.'

All we need is some elevator music and we'll be set.

Spike suddenly choked up a scroll, which Twilight snatched out of the air, unfurling it quickly. Her eyes quickly scanned the reply, before she held it out to me.

I grabbed it and began reading:

Dear Twilight Sparkle and John Smith-

This news is most troubling, Twilight. Luna and I are currently preparing a detachment of guards. They will make for the changeling wastes tomorrow, at dawn.

Twilight, under no circumstances are you to come with them, Chrysalis' plan involves the elements being personally involved. I would encourage allowing Spike to make his choice on the manner, he is one of the few ponies with a direct line to me. You may try to dissuade him, but it is ultimately his choice.

John, I am speaking directly to you now. You are not required to come, but I would advise it, you are familiar with the taken citizen, and it would be good for you to introduce him back after he has been rescued.

Good luck to the both of you.
-Princess Celestia

'Atta' girl.'

"I'm going, I'll head out tomorrow. Ask Spike about it." The confused drake looked at Twilight his gaze conveying his message to her.

"Spike, it doesn't matter..." She trailed off, trotting over to the purple dragon (ayy wagwan) as he hopped on her back. They left quickly, the princess now flying over to the castle. Rarity entered through a door that looked like it led to a bathroom.

"Did I miss anything?" The pale unicorn brushed her indigo mane with a wooden brush.

"No, not really."

----

Spike decided he wanted to go. Twilight wasn't happy about it, if the shouting match I heard earlier was any indication. The little guy walked into the barracks area, asking if he could have one of them. I said yes, and he dragged a small pile of comics down until he fell asleep. He was lying in a cot for some reason, so I gently lifted him into one of the free beds, beds that were, in a few months, to be filled by some smart-ass mages.

If you want me to write their argument, then the answer is no. That's personal to them, and I don't think I should've been there to hear it either.

I'm not really sure about Twilight and Spike's relationship. Twilight seems to think she's his mother, but acts like his sister. Spike acts more like a brother to her, while letting himself be babied.

It's quite odd actually. Biologically, Twilight is the surrogate mother (Twilight told me the story of how Spike came to be) and Rainbow Dash... she's kind of his father if you think about it...

I'm getting off track: Anyway, I'm proud of the guy, he's acting independently. And we all know that's just a part of growing up.

Oh God, he snores.

----

Morning came quickly, far too quickly, if you ask me. I didn't even get time to spend a whole day here, and I'm already going back to Canterlot... then to Mexicolt. South West Mexicolt is the area the Changelings roam, just on the Pacific coastline, for your information.

After a short farewell from each of the six, as well as a longer and more desperate attempt to get Spike to stay with them, our train arrived.

"C'mon, Spike! Next train doesn't come for ages. It's do or die time!" The train touted as it slowly edged it's way from the platform, I had already hopped on, while Spike kept looking back and forth between me and the six.

He quickly rushed onto the train, causing gasps from the elements as we left them behind. "I'll keep him safe, Twi! That's a promise!" I only had time to see the tears form around her eyes before the train jarred to the left, obscuring my view of her.

'She'll be fine.'

I hope so.

'You two are in Carriage 3, Row F'

Thanks Lavan.

"Spike, you alright?" He had a bit of a distant look in his eyes, I followed his gaze to the silhouette of Ponyville against the rising sun. "You'll be back in no time, I promise." We walked to the cabin in relative silence, the only sound the trundling of the old steam engine, and some muffled conversations of ponies heading to Canterlot.

Both of us dropped our backpacks at the same time, he pulled out some comic that looked suspiciously like a pony version of the Avengers, but I wasn't looking too hard. Me, on the the other hand? I was out like a light within a few minutes, thanks to last night's sleep deprivation.

I awoke just before we entered the station, from the toot of the train, signaling the oncoming platform. Spike had fallen asleep on a pile of comics at some point, sprawled out across them.

"Spike?" I lightly shook him. "Time to get up Spike, we're in Canterlot." No response.

I rolled my eyes, and began shaking him harder.

"Wuh-What? Stop!" He grabbed my arm as I shook him awake.

"We've gotta go dude. Train's in Canterlot." He piled off the comics, dropping them in the small bag.

"Ok, got my stuff." He affirmed, and we made our way out of the carriage quickly.

And who else would be waiting for us at the platform?

"Nice morning isn't it?" I asked rhetorically.

"Yes, it is." The familiar Thestral replied.

OF COURSE. Fucking- "Captain Moonflower."

"Captain John, Princess Celestia wishes to see you." She turned to Spike, "Spike, you can come to the food Hall with me. The Princess needs to talk to him alone."

'Private audience with Sunny? Better not do anything naughty.'

I'm pretty sure Celestia isn't interested in me.

'I said that a thousand years ago, I was putting it in every hole she had available within the next half hour.'

I'm not sure whether I should be disturbed or aroused by that.

'Why not both?'

Spike was in the middle of us, unknowingly preventing an argument, Moon still shot me looks every once in a while.

'What do you think of ponies?'

What do you mean?

'Would you put your dick in one?'

Where did this line of conversation come from?

'It keeps circulating around in the little peanut you call a brain.'

The answer is edging towards 'yes', but is still 'maybe'. Also fuck you for the side comment on about brain size.

'Yes, come to the dark side, you filthy little xenophile...' Lavan whispered.

What?

'Nothing!' The spirit admitted nervously.

Better be nothing.

It took a few minutes for us to get within distance of the castle, a few tiring minutes walking up an irritatingly steep incline, but a few minutes all the same. I still got a few upturned noses and dirty glares from passing ponies, but it wasn't as bad as it it was back when I first got here.

I'm so used to the guards not letting me through the front doors, I tried stepping into a hidden passage into the gardens I found on day fifteen. I saw the looks the Bat-mare and Dragon were giving me and followed them through the main gates.

I haven't really described the castle have I? Imagine the palace in Agrabah from Alamein, plus Hogwarts.

That is the most accurate description of Canterlot Castle I can muster.

Once we were inside, I was whisked away by a group of guards, while Spike and Moo- I mean 'Captain Moonflower walked off down a separate path.

Celestia was waiting for me in the throne room, her face betraying no emotion. I need to figure out how she does her poker face someday.

"Captain, I assume you are here to take up the offer on the journey to Alpha Hive." I nodded. Changelings are very inventive with their city names, it seems.

"Spike has too, although I'm not sure why. If you could do me a favor and ask about it, that would be great." Celestia's face slipped from that, not expecting my words.

"John, that is what I planned to do after this meeting. Now, I know that the 'citizen' in question is indeed the same changeling that escaped with you after your... shock arrival." She went on, "Did he tell you anythin to do with the Changelings, anything useful in an attack?" I see where this conversation is going.

"No, he talked about Changeling society, and Discord's attack on them a year and a bit ago, but nothing we can really use." Besides that thing about Reavers, but I'm pretty sure Chrysalis can't control them on something.

'Do you think I'm being too quiet? I feel like I've been talking less, recently.'

You DID pull some silent treatment crap on me for the last few days.

'Oh. I guess that would explain it.'

We're running out of jokes aren't we?

'Yep.'

Well at least now we get to be all serious and gritty.

'Like Heath Ledger Joker?'

Exactly like Heath Ledger Joker.

From then on, I half-listened to the princesses spiel about Chrysalis' origins or something. The other half of my mind was thinking about how sore my feet were, and how comfy the bed was in the tower.

Why are we still here?

'Dunno.' I could feel Lavan mentally shrug.

----

I feel like shit.

I'm tired, but not enough so to fall asleep.

The worst kind of tired.

I almost slip into unconsciousness as I hear a knock at the door.

I grumbled something along the lines of, "son of a fruiting birch". I tried ignoring the sound of knocking, but each hard tap on wood was getting stronger and faster.

"I'M COMIN!'" The knocking stopped. And I left the warm embrace of the bed to open the door.

What I didn't expect, was Moonflower, out of uniform, looking away from me and scuffing her hoof along the floor.

"Hi. Can I help you?" I huffed.

Moonflower sighed before saying a word I've never heard from her before: "Sorry."

"About what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"About yesterday, or this morning. I was angry " I feel like there's something else in there.

"...And?"

'I'm just gonna leave for a while.'

Before I knew what was going on, the crazed mare pounced on me. I ended up on my back, with her hooves pressing down on me and her muzzle merely inches away from mine. I could feel her breath lightly grazing my skin as her lips closed in on mine...

"Ahem." We were rather rudely interrupted by a certain dark blue alicorn standing in the corridor and the doors were wide open.

'False alarm. Luna still cock-blocks people after a good two millenia.' Lavan idly commented.

-John's Insides-

Brain, do you copy?

\\\\ [ERROR CODE: 69] PENIS HAS MUTINIED, I REPEAT THE PENIS HAS MUTINIED. ////

Well that's not good, anything about heart?

(WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON DUDE? THE HEARTBEAT DOWN HERE HAS GONE HAYWIRE!)

Damn, I guess we have no other choice.

[MURPHY'S LAW VARIABLE UNACCOUNTED. BLUE ALICORN HAS ARRIVED. ORDERS FROM MISSION COMMAND?]

Commence the V-card disposal. Use new found abilities to shut the door.

[V-CARD DISPOSAL REQUIRES AUTHORIZATION. PASSWORD INPUT:_]

I forgot the password.

Shit.

-Equestria-

I wanted a perfectly calm evening. I got a mare on top of me, we were most likely going to end up on the bed. That's bad enough. Then Luna walks in and is like: 'LOL, gt trolled m8, no hoarse seks 4 u.'

When will the torture end?

'When it's no longer funny?' the spirit mused.

You're a riot, Lavan. Now, what are we going to do with the mare on top of us.

'Fuck her right in the pussy?'

No, we can't rely on a weird old guy for life information, even if he says comical lines on TV.

'That is true... Headless Chicken mode?'

Headless Chicken mode.

----

For many soundly sleeping inhabitants of Canterlot, John's (Girly as fuck) screaming was an unwelcome wake up call. Needless to say, Nobody was happy with him right now. Luna: I nearly made out with her captain; Moonflower: I just bailed on her; Celestia could probably find some obscure reason to be mad at me, as she's a female.

"GET BACK HERE JOHN!" Oh yeah, Moonflower is pissed.

'If you can turn left, turn right, then go up the first set of stairs you see, then take the second door to the left, you should find Celestia's chambers, if my memory is correct, it's the one with the massive sun across it.'

Thank you, SatNav.

I followed Lavan SatNav's directions, and soon I was in front of Celestia's door, while Moonflower had just managed to fly up the staircase.

Shit. SHIT. SHIT! GET IN, GET IN, GET IN! my hand nearly slipped off the polished handle, and I was through the door, a second quicker than my crazed assailant.

'Safety.' We let out a long, heavy breath.

"Hello John." Celestia whispered, scaring me. I faced the pseudo-goddess, her hair was a light shade of pink, not dissimilar to Fluttershy's.

'I CALLED IT! THE RAINBOW HAIR IS FAKE!' Lavan yelled triumphantly.

*THUNK* Moonflower tried opening the doors I was still pushed up against. Fuck it, chameleon cantrip.

And I faded into the door. Illusion magic is OP like that.

"Where is he!?" Her wings were flared, fangs were bared and I was scared.

'You're a poet and you didn't know it.'

"My, my, Captain, why are you up this late? Aren't you meant to be preparing for this morning?" She's coming as well? Damn. That's going to be awkward.

Invisibility spells are so much easier when you're calm. Sadly I wasn't.

'Keep it going, Celestia's getting her out of the room.' I was too busy keeping up the invisibility to listen in on Celestia and Moon's conversation. At the edge of my endurance, I heard the door to the room shut.

Phasing out of the door again, I flopped to the ground in a heap.

"Thank. You." I breathed heavily as Celestia trotted closer to me.

"You should be getting to sleep as well." She looked down at me, disappointed.

"Just give me a minute, princess." I fell asleep before Celestia got back to her bed.

-Six hours later-

There are many strange ways to wake up.

I didn't expect to wake up spooning Celestia.

Well, that's a good start to the day.

I untangled myself from the princess' wayward limbs before getting up and walking to the door. I listened to Celestia enough the night before to know where the group headed to changelingland, or wherever the fuck we're going.

Celestia, I have entrusted this book to you now. If I don't make it back, find a way to bring it back to my time.

I'll only say what you said to me yesterday, in the letter.

Good luck to you.

And hopefully to me as well.

Author's Note:

I FKING HATE THE PUBLISH BUTTON PLACEMENT! WHENEVER I TRY TO ADD TO THE STORY ON MY PHONE, I KEEP PUBLISHING THE HALF-DONE CHAPTER!

THIS EMOTE DOESN'T EVEN COME NEAR THE AMOUNT OF PISSED OFF I AM WITH THE PUBLISH BUTTON.

Comments

[Hoppa_21]

"I'm going." My words caused her scowl to deepen. I sighed, turning around in the open doorway. "Goodbye, Moonflower." I waited a few seconds for a response, receiving none. Ieft the door slightly ajar, soon hearing it shut behind me.

He's an idiot!

Before I knew what was going on, the crazed mare pounced on me. I ended up on my hack, with her hooves pressing down on me and her muzzle merely inches away from mine. I old feel her breath lightly grazing my skin as her lips closed in on mine...

"Ahem." We were rather rudely interrupted by a certain dark blue alicorn standing in the corridor the doors were wide open.

OH, COME ON! THEY WERE SO CLOSE!

For many soundly sleeping inhabitants of Canterlot, John's (Girly as fuck) screamING was an unwelcome wake up call. Needless to say, Nobody was happy with him right now. Luna: I nearly made out with her captain; Moonflower: I just bailed on her; Celestia could probably find some obscure reason to be mad at me?,

"GET BACK HERE JOHN!" Oh yeah, Moonflower is pissed.

So close and yet so far...

I didn't expect to wake up spooning Celestia.

You are spooning the wrong pony, John...

Well, maybe they will get together in one of the next chapter?

[Liqwidice]

Ok.... When did John start channeling Deadpool?

[mastermenthe]

6964642
He always was.

[Advent Link]

Wait, if this story is meant to be in a similar format as what one would write in a diary, then wouldn't she find the part about John trying to bring humans back if he could, even if it meant Equestria stopped existing? I'm also assuming she could just look inside the diary if she wanted to.
Oh, as a personal request, please don't make this story dark like that other certain story.

[CommanderBigMac]

I should not be laughing this much at the written word.
You always do
Do not
Do so and you know it
Quiet you
Dumb ass

[Adam Jensen]

Before I knew what was going on, the crazed mare pounced on me. I ended up on my hack, with her hooves pressing down on me and her muzzle merely inches away from mine. I old feel her breath lightly grazing my skin as her lips closed in on mine...

[Dragaen]

My favorite place to get some sweets is bob bon's sweet shop.

[ReformedNightmare]

Author's Note reply: I fell ya bro, I feel ya...

[Retro_]

'LOL, gt trolled m8, no hoarse seks 4 u.'

bt y tho?

[Hiroblade]

' Yes, come to the dark side, you filthy little xenophile... ' Lavan whispered.

We have cake and ladies (or men)

[NmB]

Luna shows up , he has Moon on top, what would he do?
John : virgin shield activated

[AccidentlyOnPurpose]

I wanted a perfectly calm evening. I got a mare on top of me, we were most likely going to end up on the bed. That's bad enough. Then Luna walks in and is like: 'LOL, gt trolled m8, no hoarse seks 4 u.'

Why the fuck is this so funny