Thousands of years ago, a magnificent starship filled with valiant settlers set out to reach the star nearest their home world. En route, their sensing devices detected an enormous alien artifact, and they changed course to investigate. Unfortunately for the starship crew and passengers, they somehow activated the artifact’s defense systems.
Some sort of gateway opened up directly in front of the colony ship, and the next thing the survivors knew, they were entering the atmosphere of an unknown planet. The ship itself was almost completely destroyed, but due to the heroic efforts of the pilots and security officers, a few small groups managed to survive the fall.
Their best hope for the future would be to put their training to good use—to tame and colonize this new world. If all went well, then someday, somehow, they might be able to find a way to return home.
Chimeron Joe dan Bohr CI of the Proteocracy of Clericorum knew the old tale well. As the wondrous machines utilizing both the technology of the extinct Ha’Gibborim (who once ruled the Lalande 21185 system long before the human and klackon colony ships crashed into Funestis) and Penultimum (the greatest creation of the Proteans) whirred to life, he took comfort in the fact that at long last, though he and his people were no longer the same race as the humans who they were descended from, he and his people were going to be the ones to open the EarthGate, giving them full control over access to the wormhole to connect their system with Earth orbit, making them not only the most important nation of the seven nations forged from the surviving colonists, but also they would be the ones to realize that ages-old dream passed down from generation to generation, dating back six thousand years, all the way back to his distant ancestor, El Supremo Joe dan Bohr I, founder of the Clerisiac Empire, which was now an incredibly plastic Proteocracy, not a simple dictatorship led by a despot.
The energies of ancient and new technologies melded together, working in eleven dimensions to construct the wormhole. After several breathless moments, energy fired from the machine, tearing a hole in space-time in the space between the planets of the system, kept open as long as the machine remained active, revealing a close-up view of the world that had been the cradle for the human race—one of two homeworlds, since the non-human one was farther away, they would need Earth’s help to open up another gate to Kholdan: the homeworld of the survivors of the other colony ship: ant-like humanoids who called themselves “klackons”. By merging Terran and Lalandean technology, it should be able to be done.
Joe was already planning on going with the emissaries to Earth personally, to address the leaders of those who were still human, and offer them all of Clericorum’s knowledge in exchange for any different technology developed on Earth in the past six millennia, as well as assistance with establishing contact with Kholdan, since Proteans were a mix of both races using syncretic biology, resulting in allomorphic shape-shifters.
“Uh, Chimeron dan Bohr?” a scientist asked, pointing at the image of Sol’s legendary third planet on the other side of the gate. “Earth’s not supposed to be… pink, is it?”
The entire complex full of soldiers and scientists gasped and looked through the Gate. Sure enough, the entire planet was covered in a pink field.
“It may be some technology the Terrans created while we had no contact,” Joe said with a shrug. “It’s been six-thousand years. But your concern is noted.”
“Do we still proceed?” a soldier clad in microscopically-thin black armor asked.
“We do,” Joe said with a nod. “Bring the six Singulons who make up my honor guard, and bring all the emissaries assigned to the mission of first contact. We’ll take Spacecraft One, my personal Dropship, through the portal, and we’ll land off the coast of North America, as close as we can maneuver to Washington, D.C. The United States were the ones to send our original colony ship into space, so what better way to return to our roots than to introduce ourselves to the current leader of the great nation that sent our ancestors into space?”
“Very well, sir,” a Secret Service agent said with a nod. “We shall head for Elder Lodge harbor to launch Spacecraft One.”
Joe nodded in affirmation, and the group took their leave to head for the site of departure.
Meanwhile, on the world the Proteans called “Earth”, there hadn’t been an actual human on the surface in twenty years, just hordes of ponies known as “newfoals” created by a transformation much different than the one the Proteans' forebears used to create the pinnacle of human development: Proteus Sapiens.
These “newfoals” were humans transformed into ponies resembling the denizens of the world that had established contact with the humans only forty years before the attempt about to be made by the Clerisy. However, the newfoals weren’t exactly like the ponies they had been transformed to resemble. They were obsessively loyal to Princess Celestia, one of the two leaders of the nation of Equestria from the other world, couldn’t say anything even slightly crass, let alone vulgar, couldn't gain Cutie Marks, were almost completely incapable of feeling any negative emotion, and they seemed to possess little of the personalities they had as humans, just undying loyalty to Celestia, and almost a complete lack of love for anything but her.
Celestia had tricked the humans into converting to avoid the “extinction” she claimed would be caused by the pink barrier advancing over Earth. Some had escaped the planet, much to her dismay, and had joined the existing colonies on Mars or the moon, while others hid underground, since the barrier only destroyed things on the surface.
The newfoals didn’t call their planet “Earth” anymore. Now, they called it “New Equestria”, and all signs of human civilization had been destroyed by the barrier’s advance, even though anything underground was spared, and no living thing could actually be harmed by it, contrary to Celestia’s lies.
At the moment the EarthGate opened in the vicinity of “New Equestria”, the newfoals and their truepony taskmasters stared up at the view into another system in shock. There were three planets visible through the Gate: a gas giant, a rocky and dusty world, and a superterrestroid surrounded by decrepit orbital platforms.
At the former location of the Australian Government House in what used to be Canberra, a white-furred pony in gold armor glared up at the sudden hole in the sky. Turning around to face the facility the ponies had built to house the original portal between New and Old Equestria, he swiftly trotted into the building and ignored all the newfoals swarming around doing jobs for their “beloved queen” and climbed multiple staircases before arriving at a door. It had a gold plaque on it that read:
PRINCE BLUEBLOOD EQUESTRIS
GOVERNOR OF NEW EQUESTRIA
The armored pony took a deep breath, knocked firmly on the door, then waited.
After a few seconds, the door was engulfed in the Prince’s magical aura and pulled open, revealing the Governor of New Equestria glaring daggers at the pony who dared to interrupt his personal tea time, bat wings flared in an attempt to intimidate.
“This had better be important,” Blueblood snapped. “First, soldier, your name and rank.”
“Sergeant Lead Heavyhoof, Your Grace,” the soldier replied briskly with a bow, the very image of a proper soldier.
“Now, what is it, Sergeant?” Blueblood demanded, folding his wings to his sides. “Unless the humans from Mars have actually made a successful attack or have found a way to reverse the completed ponification process instead of just halting and reversing the process while it’s taking effect, I see no reason for you to bring a problem directly to me. I’m sure one of my newfoal secretaries could easily deal with any problem less than either of those.”
“It’s worse, Your Grace,” Heavyhoof announced firmly. “A gate has formed in the sky. One we didn’t create. It seems to be connected to another star system.”
“Ah,” Blueblood said, suddenly much more interested and concerned. “Thank you for the information, Sergeant. You’re dismissed. Return to your post and await further orders.”
“Of course, Your Grace,” Heavyhoof replied before leaving the office and shutting the door behind him.
Alone once again, Blueblood was no longer interested in finishing his tea, nor was he interested in having fun with any of his secretaries later, either. Sure, they adored him because he was “the queen’s nephew”, but this was a matter of great importance.
Opening a hidden compartment in his desk, Blueblood pulled out a mirror and said, “Aunty? I need to speak with you. It’s important.”
The image in the mirror rippled and his aunt came into focus. Her eyes were darkened and leaking small amounts of purple mist, but that was how he liked her. Ever since the first time he saw her like that, she started pampering him more, even granting him ascension (he actually preferred the bat wings he got from it, since they could intimidate more than feathered ones could), but she also trained him for the task of being her governor, a job he absolutely loved.
“Hello, my dear nephew,” Celestia said warmly, “it’s refreshing to hear from you again. Luna still hasn’t adjusted to the fate of ‘Earth’, and she grates on my nerves. Even Twilight and her friends seem to oppose me at times. There’s even rumors that Ponyville and the surrounding areas may try to secede and place Twilight as their sovereign, though there’s no actual evidence of it and Twilight denies the claims.”
“Always a pleasure to speak with you, too, Aunty,” Blueblood said with a smile before his face turned dead serious. “Remember the history of the human nation, ‘the United States of America’?”
Celestia’s expression suddenly turned sour. “Yes, what about it? They were the final nation to resist before we finally consumed their planet. Of course I know their history. I studied it intensely to find any weakness to exploit.”
“Remember the ‘Lost Colony’?” Blueblood asked. “The colony ship they sent to Alpha Centauri a little more than six-thousand years ago?”
“They lost contact with it and presumed the colonization had failed,” Celestia replied, now a bit confused. “Why is that so important now?”
“I think they’re not lost anymore,” Blueblood told her before getting out of his chair, trotting to the windows in the back of his office and pulling all the curtains aside so he could see the Gate in the sky for himself, then turned the mirror so his aunt could also see the portal into another star system. “I’m pretty sure they made that. And even if it wasn’t them, we’ll still have to contend with whoever decides to come through that gate.”
“Oh my,” Celestia breathed as Blueblood turned the mirror to face him again. She had worry plainly etched on her face. “We still lack the power of space flight, so we can’t intercept them. I’ll send more troops, specifically to New Hoofington, which is where I’m certain they’ll try to land if they really are from the Lost Colony. They’d want to talk to the ones who sent them into space, first, and that’s where the American capital city used to be.”
“There are still remains of the District of Columbia’s underground structures,” Blueblood reminded her. “We never were able to breach the federal bunker, and their entire federal government, as well as the most stubborn of the populace are still in there, communicating with state governmental and civilian bunkers by satellite.”
“That’s why it’s incredibly important that the Lost Colonists don’t make contact with any of the bunkers,” Celestia replied simply. “The troops will be ready with ponification potions to take out the emissaries, and then we’ll take their ship to ponify their system, as well, bringing them salvation, too!”
“Brilliant, Aunty!” Blueblood cheered. “Can Birthright be Governess there?”
“Of course, dear nephew,” Celestia chuckled. “She may be half-newfoal, but my great-niece— your daughter—should be more than capable of being another extension of my rule now that she’s eighteen. If there are any problems with the newcomers, I’ll even grant her troops of her own.”
“I’ll let her know, Aunty!” Blueblood said giddily, bouncing up and down in delight. “I’ll wait for you to give me instructions unless something comes up on my end!”
“Until then, dear nephew,” Celestia said warmly before the mirror rippled again and returned to a reflection of Blueblood’s face.
“Daddy’s little Princess is going to be so happy!” Blueblood squealed before bolting out of his office to his living quarters. “Maybe Aunty will grant her ascension, too!”
Right I hope them orbital platforms are anything like the MAC cannons from halo
And I SEVERELY hope the pony's get their average intelligence in these stories
If they take the vessel I severely hope that they rant about salvation and shit
Fucking humanity!
I love it you humans!
Yee! Go humans!
6699839 Sorry to burst your bubble, but the orbiting platforms around Funestis are just that: Platforms. They were left behind by an empire that ruled Funestis long ago, and the humans and klackons (and by extension, the Proteans) just use them as extra land to build cities on. That, and they perform experiments up there that wouldn't work on Funestis. They have no military use unless a city built on one mass produces military units. The platforms themselves are harmless and unable to be weaponized.
Im pretty sure human technology in 8000s would pretty much steamroll everything in existance, even humans could have just started conducting interdimensional colonies at this time. But then again, the multiverse has infinite possibilities so its likely thay humanity screwed itself over before thr ponies took over
Welp, the ponies are going to get their shit kicked in. I just hope it's not another Murica Fuck Yeah fic. Humanity Fuck Yeah is more like it so far at least.
6700027 The US might be the mother nation of the colonists, but they want to give their gifts to all of Earth. They just wanted to start with the US because all of their ancestors were Americans. They'd give the gifts of their knowledge to the rest of Earth after giving it to the US first, so America is their first priority. Not their only one.
Can there be robots in this? Like actual intelligent robots?
6700101 There already are sapient robots thanks to the technology of Adaptive Automata. They have full citizenship, enjoy the same rights as Proteans, and even have their own offspring by constructing the generation to follow after them and making them superior to the current generation. It's all in the Civilopedia for Scifi mode. Sadly, it seems none of the robots are actually in the military, but maybe that's because they never outfitted their offspring for war, seeing as all of the units are either humans, klackons, or Proteans. Or genetically created beasts of war. You'll see. The starting story doesn't touch on the robots of the Lalande 21185 system, but I plan on involving them in one of the parts to this saga.
...... Good Lord. Equestria can only barely win again Earth in modern times and you just thrown them against planet who can go FULL VON NEUMANN SWARM and lot more.
6700131 Awesome.
would be funny if someone did a starship troopers crossover tcb
6700420 Which Starship Troopers? The books or the movies?
Curious. I'm interesting. I wonder which nations are able to set up colonies on the Moon and Mars, the latter you hinted are able to perform some strikes. So the "Pink Energy Field" can only affect things on the surface, or behind sufficiently thick structures, I can definitely see Cheyenne Mountain, Swiss Alps, Alpine, Kilmanjaro and the Urals.
6700608 Hello interesting, I'm dad.
Hmm. I shall place this in a safe place, and will read it in a bit. Here's to hoping you've exceeded my expectations!
6700466 either or. still starship troopers. movies would be easier to find than the books also they are really deep when you look into it and only 1 guy on the set is in on the whole joke the first movie was.
6700012 Well, given how Sid made Civ work, India probably started a nuclear war at some point during the six thousand years (Gandhi's obsession with stockpiling nukes and firing them at everyone without a care in the world started as a bug in Civ I from an underflow error that carried over into Civ II, but starting with Civ III, Sid decided to make it an official intended part of the code because of all the jokes Civ fans made about Gandhi and nukes (for example, "Nuclear Gandhi" is a meme)), so that probably slowed things down a bit. The Civilization Bronies group even has a fic where Civ's Gandhi has a chat with Celestia about how to be a good leader, and one of the things he says makes a good leader is "mutually assured destruction". I'm not kidding.
Well given how humans are a space race, how they didn't drop a moon on Celestia?