My Little Rider: Friendship is Joker

by lilAngel

Episode 23 - Don't Need Another H

Author's Note:

My latest book is out and I'm trying to promote it, and it's also Nanowrimo this month. So I've got a lot on my plate, and I can't guarantee to have the second half of this story out in a week like I normally try. But I figured it's been a long time since the last one, so I should share this one to let you know I haven't abandoned this AU. Hopefully the next one will be along soon. Wish me luck.

The sun was high in the sky, no longer baking the citizens of Ponyville but still keeping the air warm enough to be comfortable as summer started to shade into autumn. Ponies walked through the streets in a complex dance that might almost look like it had a pattern if you could see the whole town at once. They talked to friends, caught up with acquaintances, went to a wide variety of shops, and did the everyday work and chores that made life flow smoothly. There was nothing to worry about today.

There were a couple of damaged buildings in the town, still, from giant monsters that had caused tremendous damage when they appeared. It was a good time to be a builder, or a carpenter, or any other pony who could lend their skills to put the town back together. It had been months since the last true monster rampage, though there had been quite a few that caused their damage on a smaller scale in more recent times. So the scars on the scenery were almost gone, and the ordinary members of society weren’t constantly reminded that their town was under threat from a supernatural enemy that nopony truly understood.

The big thing in the news right now was the disturbance on Nightmare Night, when the traditional feast was interrupted by none other than Princess Luna herself, the mare in the moon, who legend said had terrorised all of Ponyville and tried to snuff out the sun a thousand years before. Meeting her in the flesh had turned out to be a big anti climax for anypony who’d been seriously worried, though many foals said it had been the best Nightmare Night ever.

It was three weeks, as well, since a pony frozen solid had been pulled out of a lake or stream. That was cause for a sigh of relief from Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville’s resident librarian and de facto leader of the Champions of Harmony. The Iceberg Dopant had managed to escape capture, using her own body to shield her Gaia Memory from the destructive power of a maximum drive attack, as well as using other Memories that she had stolen from more discreet dopants. Twilight still didn’t know the mare’s name, but she was satisfied that the only truly evil pony she’d met since becoming a hero seemed to have limped away with her tail between her legs. The Nascar Dopant, otherwise known as the Champion of Justice, hadn’t shown himself either. Without the Engine Memory, he was partly ineffective in a fight, and so Twilight could only hope that he would leave the Champions of Harmony, chosen by Princess Celestia herself, to fight the dopant threat without interference.

All in all, it was good to have a moment of respite. Twilight wouldn’t let herself get too comfortable with the situation, though, because she knew that another dopant could show up at any time. Nascar might get a replacement Memory, or he might continue selling Gaia Memories to others even if he no longer had the weapon with which to stop anypony who couldn’t control their power. He might be replaced by another agent, sent from whatever mysterious organisation was farming the Gaia Memory crystals. Or Iceberg could come back and start a new reign of terror as she sought to take over the distribution of Memories in Ponyville. There were at least three other shoes waiting to drop there, and Twilight already knew the dangers of complacency. It had cost Sweet Pickings her life the last time they had thought everything was quiet.

And that was exactly why, in the middle of a warm afternoon, Twilight Sparkle and Gin Mixer were sitting across a table in one of Ponyville’s many little cafés. Twilight had a cup of tea, as always, while Detective Gin Mixer was consuming a steady stream of good cider. He was paying the bill this time, so Twilight could hardly complain about the cost. They had arranged to meet up at least once every week now, so that Twilight could share in the Ponyville Department of Police’s findings about any new criminal trends, and in exchange she could point out any cases that were likely related to the presence of Gaia Memories, and thus ensure that every threat to the peace of the town was met by the ponies best suited to dealing with it.

The truce between the Champions and the Police was an uneasy one at this point. It had been hard for Twilight and her friends to distance themselves from the self-proclaimed Champion of Justice, a vigilante who also saw it as his duty to deal with Gaia Memory crimes, but with a lot less regard for the right to a fair trial. But Twilight liked to think they were working on some kind of rapport. A couple more successful cases would reassure the bureaucrats in City Hall, and until then she could rely on the cynically pragmatic Gin Mixer to be her contact. He was the kind of detective who’d do whatever it took to make sure the ponies in his town were able to sleep safely.

“I think maybe they’ve given up,” Gin muttered, slightly indistinctly as he still had his fourth mug of cider at his mouth. “When’s the last time there was any destruction? You said it was one of these monsters that damaged a load of trees on the school grounds, right. In winter and spring we were seeing some huge thing rampaging nearly every other week. The last one was a sneaky one, I’ll admit, but how many ponies are out there who could do something like that? Maybe you’ve defeated enough now, and this organisation just decided to cut their losses and stay out of Ponyville.”

“I really wish I could believe that,” Twilight answered, “But it’s so easy to imagine that they’ve just got smarter. That they’re out there committing crimes now, or even doing things that there isn’t a law against yet because we never even imagined them, and they’ve just managed to do it somewhere that we’re not seeing. I think that even when we see the distributors in jail, I’ll be looking over my shoulder until there’s been a year of silence. Maybe not even–” she stopped suddenly, and her head twitched round towards the window. Gin mixer furrowed his brow, but didn’t say anything. He wanted to know why she’d stopped, before he said anything about it.

“Do you hear screaming?” Twilight asked, “I think that was a scream!” Two ponies put their drinks down and hurried out into the street. They didn’t even stop to pay, though Gin Mixer made a mental note to sort that out later. Payment could wait, screams couldn’t.

The cries of distress were coming from a building site, a building larger than all of its existing neighbours. It had been under construction for nearly a year at that point, because the project manager didn’t want there to be the slightest mistake. The building that had previously stood there had been burned down under mysterious circumstances, and even after the most widely-believed rumour said that the place had been set ablaze by a monster made out of magma, the owners were still worried that they could be blamed for any suspicion of structural weakness. Now it was nearly complete, and there were regularly crowds of onlookers who had a couple of free moments in the middle of their shopping day. The object of their attention was a gigantic crane, with three boom arms spreading out from a metal lattice tower that was visible from just about anywhere in Ponyville due to its incredible height.

The crane was a mechanical marvel, probably the kind of thing that would have fascinated Twilight if she hadn’t chosen magic over mechanics when she first went to school. She still knew it was incredible, and she could understand the different issues involved in making a crane of that size, but she didn’t consider herself an expert in those kinds of matters. The crane had a lot of names: A marvel, a wonder, an eyesore, a glimpse of the future. But right now it was gathering attention for a completely different reason.

One of the booms swayed unsteadily, and a shower of pieces of metal spilled down onto the street from the bucket it was carrying. Standing on top of it, a pony was clearly visible, silhouetted against the afternoon sky. Now that autumn was setting in, the sunset was already starting to paint the clouds in orange and pink, which made the whole scene even more dramatic.

“I am the master of questions!” a stallion’s voice called, with strange echoes that didn’t seem quite right. The sound was so distorted that it was impossible to tell much about the speaker, though he was almost certainly a male. “And I have a challenge for you. Answer my riddle and I shall leave you in peace, but if you cannot bring me the answer before the sun falls below the horizon, I assure you that this building will fall too.”

Gin Mixer gaped up at the figure, but couldn’t see any detail. He was just a pony shape with a long scarf blowing in the wind. He didn’t know how anypony could shout so loud either, to be heard from such an incredible height, but right now he was just waiting to hear what this riddle would be. Twilight waited too, the pink glow of magic holding a notebook and pencil up in front of her.

“Not so fast, Questioner!” Another voice rang out. Every head in the streets turned towards the tallest of the nearby buildings, the bank. Perched on the rooftop there, above the clocktower, was another silhouetted figure. This one was wearing a complex outfit with visibly sparkling gems and semi-precious stones, as well as ridges of metal along the sides of her body to give a stronger shape to the costume that was, at this point, unseen.

“Who are you?” The criminal boomed, “And what are you doing here? Do you think you can solve the questions of my riddle? Then I tell you, look under–” He seemed a little flustered, not expecting anypony to talk back to him at this point, but he managed to keep his speech to whatever scheme he had planned.

“I can answer those questions at least,” the newcomer showed that she could easily match the criminal for volume, and interrupted him without hesitation. She paused, and nodded her head to acknowledge a nervous chuckle from the crowd before continuing: “I am the defender of Ponyville, who will protect the citizens from whatever disasters you monsters can send. I am the Champion of Hope, defender of the weak, and Patron Hero of Ponyville. To your second question, I say that I am here to ensure none of these ponies comes to harm, and to bring you to justice also. And I do not intend to solve any riddles, because you won’t be there to ask them much longer!”

“Girls, can you hear this?” Twilight pushed the Joker Memory into its slot on her collar, allowing her to communicate with the five friends she trusted the most, “Somepony’s claiming to be a new Champion, I don’t know what her deal is.”

“Hah!” the question master snorted, “Everypony will hate you more than me, when they see the number of lives you have cost here today. Will you bring them any hope, in the face of this?” And as he spoke, the crane boom began to shake again. Something was visible, falling down onto the crowds below. Too high to see clearly, but it must be some kind of rubble or detritus thrown out over the crowd from a height that would make any falling object deadly. The workers on the building site fled in terror as the little specks of something solid fell closer, and ponies on the street started to panic as well as they realised that the crane overhung the edge of the construction site by some distance. If that fell, it would cause devastation to a whole part of Ponyville, and they didn’t even know the riddle that might have saved them.

“He–He–Heeero!” a chorus of voices rang out, above the clamour of the crowds and the screams of those in the danger zone. The pony on the bank roof dived down, surrounded by a swirling nimbus of pink and gold light that spread out behind her like a boat’s bow wave. Every eye was fixed on her, even some of those running for cover stopping to watch.

The strange aura spread like an umbrella over the crowds, and the debris that the question master had thrown disappeared.

“Fear not, citizens of Ponyville!” she called out, flying a loop around the construction site as the shimmering aura faded back into a compact comet trail around her body, “The Champion of Hope spreads her wings to shield the innocent, and her magic strikes down the monsters that threaten our peace!”

(“We’d better see if she needs any help,” Rainbow Dash’s voice echoed in the back of Twilight’s mind, “And make sure she’s not going to kill the dopant like that other guy. Pass me the Driver?”)

Twilight nodded, and produced the Double Driver. The seventh Element of Harmony, which allowed the others to work together, it sometimes seemed to be the Champions of Harmony’s greatest weakness that only the one with the Driver could transform. She threw it high into the air with her magic, attracting a puzzled glance from Gin Mixer and some of the other ponies standing nearby. Rainbow Dash soared overhead, so fast that she looked more like a sky-blue blur than a pegasus.

By the giant crane, the two mysterious figures had already collided. Nothing was visible from the ground but ripples of coloured light and unidentifiable metallic sounds from a point far overhead. But as the self-proclaimed question master growled “Curse you!” it was clear that the fight wasn’t going his way at all. Then the pink-gold glow was rising into the air, faster and faster, tail growing behind it like some pastel-coloured comet. The crowd cheered.

“Hi,” Rainbow Dash called out, climbing close to the two combatants, “Are you okay there? Do you need some help from a more experienced hero?” She hoped she’d get some excuse to show off her abilities, though by now they were so far from the ground that she wouldn’t even be recognisable. But before she even finished the question, there was a brilliant burst of pink light, and a trail streaking off into the distance.

“Hey!” she yelled, wings already a blur as she rushed to follow the two ponies struggling in mid air. She was surprised to find that they were getting away from her, as fast as the Champion of Justice had been able to move with his wheels, and they were still climbing higher. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and put everything she had into keeping pace. There was exactly one pony she would admit was faster than Rainbow Dash, and she wasn’t going to let this newcomer steal her crown. She slammed her Element into the slot on the Driver without slowing down, and waited for Fluttershy’s response.

“KINDNESSᏔLOYALTY!” the Driver called out, and Rainbow Dash was surrounded by her own corona of light. When it faded, she was one half of the double-pony that she liked to call Doubledash, with two pairs of wings and double the strength and speed. While Rainbow Dash alone could race any pony in Equestria, there was nothing faster than Doubledash.

Which made it doubly frustrating when the pale streak of mist in front of them also found a second burst of speed, almost vanishing from sight as Doubledash fought against gravity. Nopony could possibly be faster than the union of two pegasi, though, especially when one of them was capable of executing the legendary sonic rainboom on her own. Flying higher and higher, faster and faster as the air got thinner and colder, and they were too high for even clouds to reach. There was less than a furlong between them when the glowing pastel trail stopped, and dissipated like smoke in the breeze.

(“What the hay?” Dash wanted to curse aloud, but the cold air meant that it was hard even to draw a breath, so she resorted to the telepathy that the Elements of Harmony provided. “Where did they go? Did you see?”)

(“Nnn… Noooo…” Fluttershy’s mental voice wavered as Dash looked all around them, at the darkness that seemed to be above the sunset gold on the horizon, and at Ponyville so far below that it was like a speck on the ground, “Can we go down now, please?”)

Rainbow Dash wanted to do more to find the monster and the new hero, and ask how this newcomer had managed to be almost as fast as her. But there was nothing to see, not even a cloud to hide behind, and the cold was uncomfortable for both of them. They began to descend, speculating internally about whether the disappearance meant the new hero had won, or not.

Back down on the ground, Gin Mixer had the same thought: “At least she got him out of town. But did she beat him, or did he escape?”

“We can’t even tell,” Twilight answered, speaking slowly because half her attention was still on what Rainbow Dash was telling her, “It sounds like they went up and up, and then just vanished.”

“Hope I’m not being too cynical, after she saved so many lives here, but after the last one I don’t think I can trust this Champion. Not until she’s willing to meet with the Department and let us know what her angle is.”

---

In another neighbourhood, there was a small house with a small attic room. The door was just about accessible by weaving your way past all kinds of junk and storage crates, but this time two ponies dropped in through an open window. One of them, a unicorn with a coat so dark it was almost black, grunted in pain. He stood with some difficulty, rubbing sore muscles, and pulled off the microphone headset that had poked him so hard in the muzzle when they landed.

“I never thought it would hurt so much,” he grumbled, “What happened?”

“Heroes,” his pegasus companion shrugged, taking the mics and returning them to the right drawer in a desk that showed off a massive array of recording equipment, speakers, turntables, and even a variety of musical instruments leaning against the sides. “They would have put you in jail for that stunt. Lucky I was able to get you out of there while they were distracted by the fireworks.”

“I still don’t get how you can do that,” he grumbled, “I mean, yeah, we all have our own talents. But I don’t even understand what you do half the time.”

“I save your ass,” his companion shrugged, “And I come up with plans better than just posing and cackling. That not enough for you?”

“Yeah, but… tricks like that…”

“I’m an awesome DJ. With the best gear in Equestria, a really good memory, and the brains to work out how to use them. Look, above a certain speed nopony can think straight, right? Going fast enough, you got to use your whole brain watching out for things in the way. You might not notice a villain vanishing right out of your hooves, you just keep on streaking forward without noticing that Question has gone.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, moving a stack of records so he could sink onto the battered couch in the corner, “You’re probably the best of us, you know? Sorry I gave you a hard time, but aaaah, my whole body must be bruised.”

“You’re welcome. And I’ll try to be gentler next time. Just lie back and relax, knowing there’s no way anypony will figure it out.”

---

“Are you sure this is okay?” Pinkie Pie murmured nervously, “I mean, there’s a new hero in town, we should be offering a hoof of friendship, to make sure we’re ready to help each other when we need to. No, we should be throwing a party!”

“We need to know she’s really a hero first,” Rainbow Dash insisted, “And for that we need to know who she is, right? We’ll figure this out in no time, then we don’t need to bother the others with it.”

They were in Pinkie’s bedroom now, above Sugarcube Corner. Normally the Champions would meet in the Golden Oak Library, but Twilight Sparkle didn’t seem to understand how dangerous a new champion would be if she wasn’t on the same side. So Dash had come over to talk to Pinkie, and solicit her help in making sure the day really did have the happy ending it seemed.

Pinkie nodded, and moved to the centre of the room. It took her a few minutes to convince her pet alligator, Gummy, to remain on her bed out of the way, but eventually she was ready. She moved one hoof in a long slow gesture that looked like it had come from an exotic meditation exercise, and then closed her eyes. In an instant, the shelves of the Gaia Library formed around her, but to Rainbow Dash it just looked like her friend was standing in silence.

She took a deep breath. She’d suggested things often enough when they were doing a Lookup as a group, but this was the first time she’d even considered doing it on her own.

“Keyword:” she said after steadying her nerves, “Questions.”

“Nine hundred, twenty-six thousand, four hundred and ten matches.” That was more than usual, even for the first keyword. But then, Dash was smart enough to guess that nearly everypony had questions they wanted to ask.

“Keyword: Ponyville Grand Hotel,” if the construction site was important to the monster, then the name of the incomplete building might cut down the number of matches.

“Six hundred and one matches.” It was a big difference, but not good enough. Dash thought for a moment, what else they might know about the monster who had started the afternoon’s incident. Of course, he was standing on top of the boom of a giant mechanical crane. It would be hard for anypony to get up there at the best of times, but in the middle of the day with all the workers around, climbing the structure would clearly be impossible. Which left just one possibility.

“Keyword: Pegasus stallion,” she said confidently.

“One hundred and sixty-four matches,” Pinkie declared. Rainbow Dash racked her brains, but she couldn’t think of anything else that might be even remotely relevant.

“Fine, cancel that,” she said, “Let’s focus on this new Champion. Like how she got to the scene so quickly, was she already following this question master?” She took a deep breath, and turned back to start a new Look-Up.

“Keyword: Hero Dopant.” That would surely tell them what they needed to know. This time, searching for the mysterious ally would be the easy route. The Memory’s call had been like a choir, four voices coming in one at a time before saying the name together, but it had echoes of the strange artificial voices that characterised the calls of all Gaia Memories, including the Elements of Harmony. There was no way to hide that, and Dash already knew that the Gaia Library was very certain when it came to who had a certain Memory. The word ‘dopant’ felt strange, and she realised it was probably the first time she’d actually said it. Twilight and Rarity used the word all the time, but Dash and the others had got into the habit of calling them ‘monsters’ before they ever learned the scientific term.

“No matches.” Pinkie answered.

“Fine,” Dash pouted, “So she’s not a ‘dopant’. Well, we aren’t either, and that ‘He-he-hero’ thing sounded more like the Driver singing than like the other ones. Maybe she really is a hero? But we still got to find out who she is, having a purified Memory doesn’t mean we can trust her.”

Pinkie just stood there, eyes closed as she looked at the bookshelves in her dream.

“Right,” Rainbow Dash tried again, “Cancel. Keyword: Hero Memory. Just tell me who she–”

“No matches,” Pinkie repeated.

“What do you mean no matches?” Dash couldn’t believe it, “We all heard that thing call out its name. Unless…” She tried a couple of variations. The name wasn’t Heeeero either, no matter how long she drew out the ‘e’, or how hard she attempted to imitate the voice the strange Memory had used. Nor was it ‘He-he-hero Memory’, or any variation on that. It was a good thing Pinkie’s home didn’t have any immediate neighbours, or they would have thought she was going crazy. Crazier than usual.

“Keyword: Engine Memory,” Rainbow Dash eventually tried, “See if there’s anything there. Maybe those artificial Memories don’t show up.”

“Eleven matches, but…” Pinkie sat down heavily in the middle of the floor, and her eyes flickered open. “Sorry,” she muttered, “There’s some books there I can’t seem to read. Like I’m not allowed to or something.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Dash shrugged, “I don’t think I saw that happen before.”

“I’ve been trying not to mention it,” Pinkie admitted, looking down at her hooves, “It’s a bit embarrassing that there’s parts of my own dream I can’t get to. Don’t tell Twilight?”

“Uhh… sure,” Rainbow Dash didn’t know what else to say, “We can’t look up the other Champion then. So if the same thing happens for this new one, we’d at least know they’re the same kind of thing. Whatever they are.”

“You want to try again?” Pinkie offered, “I think I can do that, just give me a minute.”

“Yeah, there’s one more thing I can think of to look up. If that doesn’t work, we’ll have to ask the others to help anyhow.” She waited until Pinkie was standing in the middle of the room again, eyes closed, before continuing.

“Keyword: Champion of Hope.”

“Six matches.”

“Do any of them have a Gaia Memory?” She asked, and then hesitated. It seemed like the library in Pinkie’s dreams could only be searched in very specific ways, and that probably wasn’t one of them. She wondered for a second whether adding ‘Gaia Memory’ as a keyword would help, but then Pinkie answered.

“No.”

“Can you tell me the names? Maybe we could look into them.”

“Maybe,” Pinkie answered, but her voice was more serious as she woke up and the distant, dreamy monotone faded. “But they’re not dopants, I can tell that much. This power… it’s not supposed to be used selfishly, and I think right now, there isn’t much of a reason to investigate those six ponies. If one of them had a Memory, then I’d be right on it, but we can’t use the Gaia Library to spy on anypony we want.”

“I guess,” Rainbow Dash was disappointed, but she realised it was probably a good restriction. If it wasn’t for Pinkie Pie’s moral code, it would have been quite possible for somepony to ask for access to the Library and then read her book to find out what she was thinking, or something equally terrible. “I’ll ask the others if they have any ideas. I’m sure we can work out who this pony is with good, old-fashioned detective work.”

---

In the Golden Oak Library, Twilight stood by the largest table, explaining her thoughts to Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Applejack. When Rainbow Dash burst in, she was obviously tired, and Pinkie guessed that she’d spent the whole night trying to think of persuasive reasons to investigate the new Champion of Hope. She felt a little bad not helping her friend, but she knew that using the Gaia Library for selfish ends could only be a problem in the long run.

“We’ve got to do something about this new Champion,” she exclaimed, not even waiting to see what the others were talking about, “She thinks she’s so cool just because she’s a fast flyer, she can show off in public and get all the credit for saving everypony at the construction site. She’s putting us all in danger by drawing attention to herself. We keep information about the monsters secret for a reason, we never go around seeking publicity, so she should have to do the same. Especially if she won’t even let us know who she is, won’t accept help from more experienced heroes!”

Applejack turned to look at Twilight and nodded, a simple sign of agreement to end their previous conversation and clear the table for Rainbow Dash’s argument. The others gave quick glances that made it clear they had no problem with that.

“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight started disapprovingly, “Investigating dopants I could understand. But another champion could possibly be our ally, not our enemy. And I don’t think it’s right to spy on friends without a reason.”

“She could be anyone!” Dash insisted, “She flies faster than me, for Celestia’s sake, you can’t say that’s natural! For all we know she could be another monster, playing up to what everypony wants to see and… I don’t know, feeding on their excitement or something?”

“She’s not a dopant,” Pinkie Pie said. Dash scowled at this unexpected betrayal, but tried to keep the irritation out of her voice. Of course, she and Pinkie knew that the Champion of Hope didn’t have a real Gaia Memory, and so was no threat to the Champions of Harmony. But that was a great excuse to seek Twilight’s help in tracking down the newcomer, so she could teach her to show proper respect. It was no help at all if Pinkie told the others that there wasn’t an issue.

“How do you know that?” Rainbow Dash asked, doing her best to keep calm. She knew that the new Champion was a rival and a threat, but there was no way she could prove that if the others knew there was nothing to worry about. But Pinkie had promised not to say anything about their secret investigation in the Gaia Library, so she couldn’t answer that question without breaking a friend’s confidence, and Rainbow Dash was pretty sure she wouldn’t go that far.

“I just know,” Pinkie looked down at the table, clearly embarrassed to meet Dash’s eyes, “When I see somepony, I can recognise right away if they’re using dopant powers. Maybe it’s a side effect from when Princess Luna was hiding in the library in my dreams. But if that mare was a Memory user, I’d know about it.”

“Right,” Rainbow Dash pouted, “But don’t you think we need to check her out, uncover her secret? We need to know she’s not another Justice guy.”

“Maybe,” Applejack mumbled hesitantly, “But she’s not…”

“She’s not a threat to us,” Twilight finished the sentence, “We know enough about the Champion of Hope to know she’s not going to be causing us any problems. Trust me on this, Rainbow Dash. We don’t need to do anything about this situation, it’s all fine.”

“No way,” Rainbow Dash growled, “There is something wrong with that mare, and we need to find out what it is before it comes back to bite us.”

“It won’t,” Twilight adopted a conciliatory tone, “This isn’t anything we need to worry about, no matter how it looks. Are you getting jealous? There’s no reason to–”

“Oh hay!” Rainbow Dash snapped, “I’m not jealous! I’d be just as upset if she was as slow in the air as the rest of you. I’m worried because she’s dangerous, and she’s famous. Only one rescue and there’s already a hundred fans around the city drawing portraits of her and hanging up banners with her name on. If she’s evil she could turn the whole town against us, doesn’t that worry you?” She stormed out and slammed the door behind her.

“I think… that went kind of well?” Twilight didn’t sound as confident as her words would normally imply.

“I think we should have told her,” Fluttershy shook her head, “She’s worried we could be hurt, and I don’t like seeing my friends worry.”

“She’s worried there’s somepony faster than her,” Applejack corrected, “And all the cafés and bars that let her have a free drink for being a hero, she’s worried they’ll not be so generous if there’s more heroes to share the rewards with.”

“I don’t want to upset Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said for probably the tenth time that morning, “But she’s seeing problems where there are none, she’s projecting her personal worries onto all of us. That’s not healthy, and she won’t learn until she discovers it for herself. We told her there was nothing to worry about, and if her desire to be the best won’t let her accept that, then she’s going to learn a valuable lesson.”

---

Rainbow Dash flew back and forth through the skies over Ponyville. She knew really that she was just waiting for the Champion of Hope so that she could show her up somehow and prove herself the better hero, but still she told herself that she just wanted to keep the citizens of Ponyville safe, and that there was no chance she would let a petty motive such as pride influence her decisions.

A day went past, and the new champion didn’t reappear. But Rainbow Dash kept on looking, even though it meant she was starting to shirk her duties on the weather team. She had to find this new Champion of Hope before she showed the town her true colours.

She saw colts fighting, arguing over some hoofball score in a current tournament. She ignored them, as much as she wanted to step in and help, because she knew that the important thing was to identify the Champion of Hope. She saw a burglary in progress, and made a mental note to mention it to the police later. She was completely sure that the Champion of Hope would be a major player somehow, and nothing else mattered as long as she was going about her business freely.

Rainbow Dash saw a dam starting to crack, when one circuit of her patrol went a little farther from Ponyville than she usually did. She knew exactly what that meant, the earth ponies who planned the installation had never expected the dam to hold back such a massive weight of water continuously without maintenance, and whoever was responsible for keeping it standing hadn’t realised how much work they were expected to put in. She hesitated for a second, and started to fly back towards Ponyville, but then hesitated. The Apple family farm was downstream of a dam, and they stood to lose a great number of bits, and could even be seriously hurt if there was a sudden flood. Leaving a job to the experts was a lot harder when her friends were at risk, and she turned and went to look at the damaged dam.

There were young families with foals picnicking along the river bank there. That stream was perfect for it. Quite a few of the relaxing ponies had spotted the crack in the dam, but none of them were ready to do anything about it right now. Fixing something like that would require a hero. Rainbow Dash wasn’t an expert in water management or engineering, but she knew she had to do something when the crack spread in front of her eyes, solid stone splitting as it extended across the surface. She flew closer and placed her hooves on the heavy stone, wondering if she could adapt the magic that let her push a heavy cloud while touching only one tiny spot. But then the dam burst, and she could only join the rest of the crowd in trying to get out of the way of a powerful wave.

Everypony was running, trying to get themselves out of danger. The others in the area weren’t important, they could look after themselves. But there was one mare standing on the riverbank, with a wide purple hat that must be blocking her view, because she wasn’t attempting to move at all.

“Look out!” Rainbow Dash joined a dozen other voices in shouting, but when this one pony finally moved it was in the opposite direction to the crowd, towards the bursting dam. Then she flipped that ridiculous pointed hat in the air, revealing her horn and also pulling out something that had been hiding in the point of the hat. Something small and shiny, but tossed into the air and caught in her hoof too quickly for anypony to see what it was.

“Let’s do this,” she whispered, and her voice somehow carried across all the screams so that everypony could hear.

“He–He–Hero!” that voice seemed to come from everywhere at once, and echoed from the rocks on both sides of the canyon. The purple-clad pony’s body shimmered, and the aura of her magic spread from simply holding the hat to spiral around her entire body. Now she was wearing an impressive suit of armour, that seemed to make her whole body shimmer like a gemstone. The shape of the hat was still there, in highly stylised form, but now it was nothing more than a mane ornament that resembled the brim around the base of her horn.

Rainbow Dash couldn’t stop to challenge the so-called Champion, because the wall of water was roaring closer and closer, almost touching her tail as she fled. But the Champion of Hope’s magic reached out and stopped the water right where it was.

“Looks like you need a little more speed, Rainbow Splash,” her voice was loud and clear enough that everypony could hear. And worse, everypony stopped to laugh, their fear over the disaster turning into mockery in an instant.

---

Later that evening, Rainbow Dash stormed into the Golden Oak Library. She was angry, that much was obvious from every line of her body. Angry at this new hero, angry at herself, and angry at her friends. She couldn’t believe that she had been so humiliated. She couldn’t believe that this new Champion had made it so easy to push the water back, and to put the dam back together like a broken pot. She couldn’t believe she’d been dumb enough to attempt a task that obviously needed a unicorn’s powers of telekinesis, but obviously that wasn’t the main problem now. She needed to find a way to remind everypony that this new champion was most certainly not a hero.

“I guess you heard then?” she muttered, not caring that she was interrupting Twilight Sparkle’s private reading time. “The Champion of Hope saved the day again. They won’t be needing us soon.”

“They’ll always need us,” Twilight shrugged, “There’s problems that only we can deal with. But what did she save everypony from today?”

“Burst dam. But she’s a unicorn, can you believe it? Used her magic to catch all the pieces of a burst dam and put it back together, pushed the water right back. She says a true hero needs to be ready to protect everypony when there’s a villain around or not. There was a huge crack in the dam, and she put it back together like it was nothing.”

“That shows quite some dedication to duty,” Twilight shrugged, “I’d better go up there tomorrow, though. Assess the damage, and make sure that it’s properly repaired before it breaks again. We can’t rely on a mysterious hero every single time something goes wrong.”

“Oh, she fixed it fine,” Rainbow Dash muttered, still angry that this one hero could do so many things that she couldn’t, “Not even a trace of a crack now. I tell you, she’s going to be a problem. Made me look like an idiot in front of everypony, how long are you going to let her get away with this? I shouldn’t be the only one trying to find out who she is.”

Twilight paused for a second, looked like she was uncertain now, but quickly rallied and continued.

“Rainbow Dash, I am a little disappointed in you. You’re jealous because the Champion of Hope flew faster than you. You keep on saying she’s dangerous, she’s an enemy, we need to investigate her. But she hasn’t hurt anypony, and she hasn’t threatened us at all. I think you’re just trying to think of excuses to prove you’re better than her, and on some level you know that this animosity is just your own insecurity showing through. Please, try to just accept that you didn’t win a race for once, and that showing off doesn’t make anypony an enemy.”

“There must be some trick,” Rainbow Dash didn’t want to listen, “There’s no way she was faster than me. It’s not possible.” Twilight responded with another reasoned argument, but Rainbow Dash already knew that the time for debate was past. If the others weren’t going to help her, she would just have to deal with this monster herself. She raced out of the library, plans already forming in her head.

“Do you think that was too cruel?” Twilight asked, biting her lip nervously, “Should I have told her?”

“Nah,” Spike murmured from his place on a high shelf, “She’s just running off her ego. Maybe if she tires herself out chasing shadows, she’ll learn something important.”

“I guess. I still feel bad for not telling her about…” she cut off as Rainbow Dash burst in again through a high window. “Hi again. Do you–”

“I need a book about alicorns,” Dash announced confidently.

---

Much later. Rainbow Dash wasn’t too fond of books, but she had the determination to get through them when it mattered. Like the first time she had mastered the Sonic Rainboom, she was happy to read a huge text if it could point the way towards victory. When somepony challenged her for speed, maybe she could even compare with Twilight in the studying stakes.

This time, she wasn’t intending to decipher the secrets of an ancient text. She just wanted to be sure she understood everything that was commonly known about alicorns. Twilight had offered to tell her if she just promised not to keep on worrying about the Champion of Hope. That was a promise she couldn’t make, and she was sure in any case that if Twilight couldn’t help her identify the so-called Champion, then Twilight’s knowledge on this subject could be insufficient.

“Let’s go over what we’ve got so far,” Rainbow Dash posed proudly, and started to present her findings to a vague pony shape made of cloud fragments. It would have been kind of pathetic if anypony else did that, but she felt more awesome when presenting her results aloud, and it helped her to think. “Ponies used to believe there were ‘pegacorns’, the child of a unicorn and a pegasus born with both wings and a horn. A pegacorn could use both magic and control clouds, like our mysterious evil champion seems to, but had other problems that meant it wasn’t a good thing to be. But for all the time that mixed-tribe couples worried about having a freak foal, there is no record of one ever actually existing. A lot of historians think it was a myth made up to discourage unicorns and pegasi from interbreeding.”

“In more modern times, there are tales of alicorns. They’re not the same as pegacorns, though they do have both wings and a horn. The main difference is that an alicorn has access to the three fields, whatever that means. I think they can use earth pony magic as well, knowing how to move rocks and make plants grow and stuff. But of course you can’t see that so easily. An alicorn is all three tribes. Now, there’s some rumours of alicorn tribes living out in the unexplored desert, but nopony seriously believes that. And there’s stories that a half-breed pony who has exactly equal parts unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony in their ancestry could be an alicorn. But again, all the hospital and midwife records throughout history don’t show a single alicorn birth.”

“That certainly seems pretty odd. Because we all know that at least one alicorn exists. Princess Celestia has a horn and wings, and is larger than an average pony, so there’s no way we can doubt that she’s an alicorn. But she has the power to raise the sun as well, and that doesn’t seem to be any kind of magic the rest of the world is familiar with. All these genius ponies with all kinds of different specialties have no idea how she does it, so it’s possible Celestia is a completely unique type of pony.”

“Now, Princess Luna isn’t really mentioned in these books. She was the Princess of the Moon a thousand years ago, but there’s no written record saying if she was actually an alicorn. She’s shown in some portraits raising the moon using her horn, and also depicted with giant wings made out of the night sky, but there’s no way for the books to know how much of that is real and how much is artistic license. We’ve already met Luna, and I can say she’s got wings and a horn. But when I saw her, she was still Nightmare Moon. I don’t know how much using the Lunar Memory changed her appearance. I mean, I’m pretty sure not even an alicorn can turn into poisonous black smoke to move around, so why do we assume any part of what we saw was her natural form? It would be reasonable to assume she’s an alicorn, but I can’t be sure. So that means one alicorn exists, maybe two.”

Rainbow Dash paced around the room, trying to assemble the facts in her head. That wasn’t all she’d learned in a long night of reading, but it was hard to tell how much of the text actually mattered. Eventually, she continued her presentation.

“Now, it’s reported that the Princesses of the Crystal Empire are alicorns. But only the princesses, there has never even been a report of an alicorn stallion. That’s probably not relevant, but it’s got a lot of discussion. And the birth records of the Empire do not list any alicorn foals born to the monarch in the last six hundred years, as long as records last. So either those records are wrong, or an alicorn doesn’t grow their horn until they are older. Or possibly the princesses once were alicorns, and more recent incumbents simply kept up the pretense for the sake of tradition. Or maybe they never really were, but pretended to be alicorns in an attempt to make it seem they were somehow connected to Princess Celestia. It’s only in the last couple of decades that discrimination between the tribes has decreased and science got enough respect that they could even ask the question of what makes an alicorn. And the Crystal Empire is currently cut off by storms, but there was no reigning Princess there the last time an alicorn researcher could request their help.”

“So, in conclusion. The Champion of Hope had a horn, which she used to repair that dam, and wings, with which she can supposedly fly faster than me. She’s an alicorn, that much is clear, but there are no alicorns in Ponyville as far as the census is concerned. So unless she is actually Princess Celestia, which I find ludicrous, she must be disguising her true nature to the ponies around her. And that gives us a reason to distrust her, even if we hadn’t had one before.” She nodded firmly, underscoring the point. Anypony who lied about the body they had certainly couldn’t be trusted, and must be treated as an enemy. But then, that didn’t actually give her any information useful for tracking down the Champion of Hope. She was twice as sure that she was right now, but she wasn’t any closer to finding the identity of the Hero Memory user.

She paced back and forth, starting speaking only to stop again right away. She tried to think about it from every angle she could think of, but the only conclusion she could reach was that she didn’t really have any clues. It must be hard for an alicorn to hide their identity in a town like Ponyville, where everypony put their friendships first, but she couldn’t think of any way to find the one alicorn who had apparently managed the feat.

“You won’t dispense with me so easily this time!” a voice rang out over the rooftops, “Answer my questions, though, and you might find a way to avoid my vengeance!”

Before the threat was even finished, Rainbow Dash was leaping out of her window and soaring towards the origin of the sound. She couldn’t make out where it was coming from, though, and spent nearly a minute circling the skies over Ponyville before she managed to pick out the figure standing menacingly on top of the fountains in the town square. She tapped the Element of Loyalty into her collar with her chin, not even slowing down, and waited for Twilight to teleport the Driver out to her.

“What’s wrong, Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie’s voice echoed in the back of her mind, “I’m a bit busy now, watching this Question guy. He really knows how to work a crowd!”

“I’m looking at him now,” Dash half yelled, still circling, “We’ve got to stop him. He’s clearly a monster– a dopant I mean. Is there a Question Memory?”

“I don’t think so. But he’s not done anything wrong. He’s just posing, and going on about how awesome he is to anypony who’ll listen.”

“That’s not a crime,” Rarity chipped in, “Or you’d have been dragged off weeks ago. Don’t you think it’s a little amusing that out of all of us, it’s you who’s most worried about somepony showing off?”

“Fine!” Dash snorted, “I’ll deal with him myself!” she put all her strength into a burst of acceleration straight up, turned about on the spot, and then pushed herself downwards again. It was so long since she’d even attempted this without a Maximum Drive attack to give her more power, but she knew she was capable of it. As she hurtled towards the fountains faster and faster, the air grew thicker until flying felt more like she was trying to fly through syrup. She could see the air itself stretching at the edge of her vision, little spirals of rainbow colour forming around her wingtips. Just a fraction faster and she would hit the Question guy with the full shockwave of a Sonic Rainboom, and then everyone would know she was a hero even without the power of the Elements.

Unfortunately, she didn’t hit that special boundary speed where it seemed the world couldn’t keep up. She hit Mister Question first, and the ground so soon after that it seemed like a single impact.

---

“What happened?” Rainbow Dash asked as the dizzying swirl of colours around her formed back into a crowd of other ponies’ hooves. Somepony was talking in the background, but Dash couldn’t quite make out the words right now, and her head felt like she’d just smacked it into the ground at a speed most pegasi couldn’t even dream of. It seemed like an awful cliché, but it was the best thing she could think of right now.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy looked down at her, “You shouldn’t try to do a Rainboom so close to the ground, you know.”

“What happened?” Rainbow Dash repeated, “I’m not saying that because I just stunned myself, I’m saying it because I want to know…” and here she paused to take a deep breath, “What. The hay. Just. Happened.”

“Uhh…” Fluttershy backed away from the volume of her friend’s demand. But they’d known each other longer than anypony else, and if there was one pony Fluttershy wasn’t going to be scared of it was Rainbow Dash. “You flew straight up and then down again, as fast as you could. You went straight through Mister Question, and hit the cobbles with your head. I think you might have a concussion. You should–”

“Never mind that. Is he still here?”

Fluttershy just stepped back and gestured with one wing towards the fountain. Only a dozen paces away, Question was still making threats against the citizens of Ponyville. Half the crowd were cowering and backing away, but half-heartedly as if he was a Nightmare Night performer. Like they were enjoying the thrill, and not quite taking the monster seriously.

“We’re not scared of you!” one foal yelled, and threw an apple, “The Champion will stop you again!” The apple sailed through the air, and straight through the cloaked figure.

“…a cake flavoured with cherries, and dressed in rich silks.” Question kept on speaking as if nothing had happened, but turned to shake his head at the foal, who fled behind the legs of his mother, “But no celebration could be complete without a little drama, and if you want to find out where the fuse has been lit, you’ll need to jump higher than a llama.”

“Was that supposed to rhyme?” Rainbow Dash turned back to Fluttershy, and realised that Pinkie Pie was standing there too, just watching the villain give his speech.

“Yeah,” Pinkie answered excitedly, “He did six couplets in that clue, telling us who he’s going to target for his revenge, and they all rhymed. That last one was a bit silly, though.”

“What is wrong with you?” Rainbow Dash was practically yelling now, “We need to stop this guy! And what if the Champion of Hope appears, and I can’t give chase because I’m still waiting for the Driver?”

“You need to stop taking everything personally,” Twilight joined the group, “Look, even if he was a dopant rather than a stallion in a long cloak, it would be better to listen to what he was saying, solve the riddle, and stop whatever he was planning to do. You don’t gain anything by raging at a guy you can’t even hit. You could–”

She stopped sharply, and turned to look at Question, who was rising into the air now. His cloak and hat rippled in the breeze, even though there wasn’t really that much wind in the square, and he was surrounded by a golden-orange glow with pink highlights, a beautiful blend of sunset colours.

“Not so fast, Questioner!” the Champion of Hope’s voice boomed across the square, almost singing, “You will not torment the people of Ponyville any longer.” She posed on the roof of a house, silhouetted dramatically against the skyline, and her horn glowing in all the colours of the sun. But the other pony just laughed louder.

“Did you forget, child? I am the Master of Questions, and simply capturing me will not stop the plans I have set in motion. This is your challenge, Champion. Will you take me off to jail, or will you struggle to solve my puzzles, and save the city from the charges I have already set?”

“Why not both? I already know the answer to your first riddle. The birthday cake you describe is the buildings north of the river, by the old town hall. Seen from above they could give the impression of a slice through a cake, with four parallel streets dividing it into layers. And the decoration that completes a birthday cake is a candle. It could only be the belltower outside the lamasery, right? So you’ve set something to explode there. But you want everypony to concentrate on solving your riddle, rather than just make a big boom, so you must have allowed yourself enough time for at least another ten minutes of gloating here. So I can take my time restraining you, hand you over to the authorities, and then defuse your bomb at my leisure.”

(“Could she possibly ham it up any more?” Pinkie Pie whispered to Twilight, “I mean, she doesn’t need to explain every detail does she?”)

“Except you haven’t heard the other three questions,” the Questioner chuckled, “and the first one was just supposed to show the town that I was serious. You would never have had time to–” He was cut off by the sound of an explosion.

“Come on!” Rainbow Dash had already been walking towards the old lamasery, hoping to get there before the new hero, but the sound jolted her into a full sprint. She didn’t even notice whether her friends were following. Ahead she could see the Champion of Hope was flying in the same direction, taking a straight line over the rooftops to get there more quickly. Rainbow Dash redoubled her speed, sure that even with such a great lead she would be able to catch up.

“That’s an interesting riddle,” Twilight mused as the two pegasi streaked into the distance, “Requires knowledge of the town, recognising that cake shape has a cherry juice plant at the centre to make it cherry flavoured, as well as some word play, and recognising the shape in the view from above. Only a well-read pegasus with an artistic temperament and an ear for poetry could have got all the parts of that puzzle.”

“Did you get it?” Pinkie asked, “I’d be amazed if anyone managed to solve it so quickly.”

“Yes. Well, I figured it out from the bit about the white and gold hall in the second couplet. There’s very few buildings that could have been, so I just had to think about what could be near there. How about you?”

“No, I’ve not paid much attention to what Ponyville looks like from above. When we’re flying as Rainbow Pie there’s usually something urgent to deal with. I’ll bet you anything I get the next one before you, though!”

---

Less than a minute’s frenzied flight across the city rooftops, Rainbow Dash reached the lamasery. It was an old building, which most ponies walked past without ever paying attention to what was going on inside. It would have been so easy for the Questioner to sneak in unseen, because if somepony had legitimate business there they would already be wearing a simple robe that concealed most of their features. Right now there was a red-orange glow coming from the top of the belltower, which did make it look a little like a giant candle for a giant birthday cake. But there were no casualties yet. The Champion of Hope was already standing on the rooftop, trails of red-gold magic linking her horn to a spiral cage of swirling energy around the tower. There was no doubt now that she was an alicorn, though her wings were concealed by the elaborate armour in this pose.

“I got this!” she called out, “If you want to help, you can hunt down the Questioner and see if you can solve the second clue.”

“What are you going to do?” Rainbow Dash was reluctant to just leave, but she didn’t want the villain to escape either.

There was a sudden burst of brightness from the magical aura, and the Champion of Hope grunted with effort. Something was happening inside the tower, and the light shining out from every window and aperture became blindingly bright. Then flames streamed from the rooftop, reaching high into the sky like a giant roman candle. The helix of magic extended a little way above the tower’s crenelations, channeling the fire upwards rather than outwards, but probably every eye in Ponyville was on the tower now. Rainbow Dash headed back to the square, turning away just in time to miss seeing the start of a shower of fireworks rising into the sky behind her.