• Published 20th Nov 2015
  • 1,535 Views, 89 Comments

My Little Rider: Friendship is Joker - lilAngel



(Crossover / AU story). What if the Elements of Harmony weren't just elements. What if they were also Gaia Memories, and using them required two ponies to fight as one?

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Episode 4 - Friends V Rivals: Who is Best Pony?

Most of Ponyville was enjoying a normal day, and only the ponies near enough to see it were panicking over the devastation at a certain wedding boutique. There was, however, shouting coming from the basement of the Golden Oak Library on the far side of town.

“There might be a monster out there,” Rainbow Dash didn’t have time for pleasantries, “Give me the driver and we can go kick some tail.”

“Hold on there!” Rarijack glared at their friend, “Why do you always have to be hogging the glory? If there’s a monster, tell us where it is and we’ll go beat it.”

“How? We already know the only thing that can break one of those Memory things is a Party Rainboom Cannon. It’s got to be us in the end, right Pinkie?”

“I don’t think so,” Pinkie answered, “The Elements are supposed to work in Harmony, that’s what makes them different from other Gaia Memories. So that’s gotta mean there’s nine different memory breaking things we can do, for every possible pair. We just haven’t found them all yet!”


Twilight Sparkle, meanwhile, was talking to Jaquardine and Elegant Form, two mares who had just seen their shop destroyed. That wasn’t the worst part, she managed to decipher through the sobbing: Jaquardine’s fiancé, Starry Knight, had been carried away by a monster. They couldn’t describe the creature, except that it was much larger than any pony and seemed to walk on two legs.

“Did he threaten you?” Twilight asked. To get to the bottom of this mystery, she’d have to learn everything she could about the monster, but neither of the witnesses was really in a fit state to talk. For once, she wished she knew a little more about being sympathetic and talking to ponies. “I’m sorry, I know this is hard. But I might be able to find that monster and stop him, if you can remember anything that might help…”

“It had teeth as big as your horn,” Elegant managed to say, “It bit through the door and shredded everything on display before we could even ask what it wanted. Then it saw Starry over there modelling a new suit, and it seemed like it was even more angry. Like, still not talking, but roaring. And it…” she broke down in tears again, the memories too intense for her to cope with this soon.

“It bit him,” Jaquardine said, a steel edge in her voice that made it clear she was the type of pony who could change fear into anger when she had to. Right now, all her worries only made her more determined to find and save the stallion she intended to marry. “Not hard, I think it could have cut him in half if it had wanted to. It picked him up in its mouth, it was that big, and it carried him away. If it was an animal, I’d say it was jealous, but maybe like a trained animal that knows it can’t kill a rival. Does that mean it’ll be coming after me next? Do monsters even think like us?”

“Monsters could even be someone you know,” Twilight spoke slowly, wondering just how much of the truth she could share. She didn’t want other ponies knowing about the Gaia Memories, because there were undoubtedly some ponies out there angry or sad enough that they’d go out trying to find the things. But she couldn’t say nothing, because if they understood a little more they might be able to think of something that would help her find the kidnapped stallion. It didn’t help that she still didn’t know all the details about what the Gaia Memories were, or where they came from. “There’s a kind of dark magic that’s turning ponies into these monsters. They’re called ‘dopants’, and it makes it so they can only think about one thing that makes them the angriest. Yeah, it could be some stallion who got a stupid crush on you, and the curse magnifies his jealousy until it consumes him. It’s not him, it’s his anger, or jealousy, or some other negative emotion made bigger than him. But if we know who it is, if you have any idea, then we might be able to reverse the magic and save them both.” Twilight almost rushed to the end of that sentence, which had gone on longer than she expected. Looking back on the words, she felt it sounded like quite an emotive speech.

“I got no idea,” Jacquardine shook her head sadly, “I only had eyes for him.”

Twilight offered whatever sympathy she could, and asked the other ponies in the street if any had seen something. She was just about to give up and see if any of her friends could help, when she heard something that sounded exactly like a clue. It wasn’t the voice, a nasal whine with just a trace of an exoticly foreign accent, but the words.

“Oh no, it happened here too?”

“‘Too’?” Twilight was immediately in front of a mare she didn’t think she’d seen before, with a dull olive coat and vivid spiked mane in more colours than the rainbow. “Has it attacked somewhere else?”

“Who…” the other pony gasped, “Yes, the same thing happened to all my beautiful outfits, a week ago. I thought it was a couple of colts I’d seen messing around. I kicked them out and told them to come back when their parents had taught them some manners, and then when I came to open up the next morning, the door was already smashed. It was just like this, but I told the police and they said they couldn’t find any proof.”

Twilight quickly introduced herself, and then got back to asking all the questions she could think of. She’d never planned on being a detective, though, and wasn’t sure what was the right thing to ask.


“No, it’s my turn!” the debate was still in full swing by the time Twilight got back to the library.

“What’s going on here?” she asked, seeing Applejack and Rainbow Dash standing nose-to-nose, both yelling their point of view at each other. Rarity and Pinkie Pie were clearly just as deeply involved in the argument, but keeping quiet for now because they couldn’t hear themselves over Dash’s yelling. Fluttershy was there too, crouched behind the library desk with a hoof raised, waiting for a break in the conversation so she could speak. None of them seemed overly inclined to stop long enough to explain to Twilight.

“It’s this Gala,” Spike commented from his seat on top of a bookshelf, looking over the debate as if it was a spectator sport. “Somepony suggested that as it’s a reward for defeating dopants, instead of arguing over it they should just give it to the pair who’ve defeated most of them before the Gala comes around. If there’s another one terrorising the town, that means somepony is finding a Gaia Memory every other week. So there should be time for you all to learn about the Elements and show who’s the best at defeating monsters.”

“That seems almost reasonable,” Twilight had to concede, “A test of skill that can be quantified, rather than trying to qualitatively compare each of our reasons for wanting to go. So why are they still fighting?”

“Fighting over the Driver, of course. Now they all want to beat the latest monster, but only the pony with the driver can do that.” Even before Spike had finished the sentence, Twilight’s hooves were pressed against her face in denial.

“EVERYBODY QUIET!” she yelled, shocking her friends so much that there was actually a moment of silence. “We can’t go beat this dopant now, because we don’t know where it is. It looks like it’s hiding somewhere in town, so far there’s been two attacks that we know of, but with weeks in between. So whoever finds the thing can fight it.” She took a breath at last, glad to have reached the end of the sentence before someone interrupted.

“I… think that sounds good,” Fluttershy said, and picked up the driver while everypony else was still trying to think of a reason they should have it without seeming petty, “Do you want to take this, then? I think you’re the logical one, who won’t do something silly just to win a competition.”

“You really trust me that much?” Twilight took the Driver, but felt bad about it. The thought of transforming to beat the dopant even if one of the others found it first hadn’t even occurred to her until that point, but she could easily imagine it crossing her mind in the heat of battle. Fluttershy trusted her a lot more than she did herself.

“Well, and you’re the only one who hasn’t said something about needing to go to the Gala to fulfill your dream or something, the only one with no reason to cheat.”

“Ah…” Twilight hesitated, “Did I tell you Princess Celestia has a museum dedicated to dopants? After I ran out on her to live here I don’t think she would just invite me to see it, but if I’m at the Gala I could just drift off and…” her voice trailed off as she realised the only way to finish that sentence was ‘…steal the book’, which she wouldn’t even contemplate in most circumstances.

“We still trust you,” Applejack nodded, though she didn’t seem entirely confident in the statement. Everypony avoided each other’s gazes for a moment, and it seemed to Twilight for a moment that despite all the bonds of friendship between them, the only reason they weren’t taking the Driver from her straight away was that nopony wanted to be the first to say they didn’t trust her.

“I don’t think I should hold it anyway,” she jumped on the first thought that offered an end to the uncomfortable silence, “If we don’t know where this dopant will strike next, or who’s going to find it, then we need to be able to get the Driver to wherever it’s needed quickly. I’m pretty sure that if one of you finds the monster and needs to fight in a hurry, Rainbow Dash will be able to get there quicker than me.” She passed the driver over, just hoping she was making the right choice.

“Right, I got this,” Rainbow Dash nodded, for once not so glad to feel everypony’s eyes on her, “If you find the monster, just holler.”

With their rivalry channeled into a test of skill with actual rules, the argument quickly faded away. Nopony could keep their mind off the task in front of them, and conversation kept drifting back to subtle maneuvering. They were all aware that if one of them figured out where a dress-slashing monster might be hiding, there was still room for another half on the ticket. Rainbow Dash was confident in her ability to find the monster first, so was already boasting. Twilight wondered if Pinkie Pie was being more complimentary than usual to her, maybe hoping to improve her chance of getting to unleash their Party Rainboom Cannon against a dopant again. Applejack was more direct, offering mugs of cider to the right-half ponies once she’d managed to retrieve her cart, and even managing to bite back whatever quip came to mind when Rarity asked for a cup of tea instead.

Twilight tried to stand above the petty politics and act normally. Of course, that meant she couldn’t refuse a guest who had asked for tea. But as far as she was concerned, the important thing was to stop the dopant and rescue Starry Knight. Even then, she couldn’t stop little wheels of probability spinning in her head. If she, Rainbow Dash, or Applejack found the dopant, they could put on the Driver, but the right side would go to whoever was quickest to slot in their memory. That meant there was no way to choose who was on the right. On the other hand, if one of the right-side Elements was responsible for spotting the vital clue, she would have to call in a left-side friend before they could transform, and there was still a change of another right-side jumping the queue. If Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie decided to work together to ensure they both got in, it couldn’t quite be a fair trade. The same went for any other possible pairing. But from a statistical point of view, there was a big advantage if she could get Fluttershy or Rarity to call her first if they saw anything.

Twilight tried to shut down that train of thought. These ponies were all her friends, and she wanted the prize to go to whoever earned it fairly almost as much as she wanted to see Princess Celestia’s book, and look in that museum again. But it was hard not to consider it.

“Are there many fashion boutiques in Ponyville?” she asked Rarity, ashamed that she’d thought of how best to benefit from somepony else’s knowledge before properly turning her intellect towards solving the problem herself, “Both of the attacks so far, the dopant slashed clothes on display. Could it be a business rival?”

“That’s what I was wondering,” Rarity answered, then paused to take another sip of her tea. “I think there may be as many as a dozen, but we don’t necessarily see each other as rivals. For example, nobody who appreciates my work would look to Chez Jazz as an alternative. And that isn’t pettiness speaking, I appreciate that Jazzy Glamour has quite some skill with a needle. But the bold colours and abbreviated styles are so different, so at any occasion a customer might choose one of her outfits for, anything I made would stick out like a sore hoof. And Elegant Form is a good friend of mine, but she specialises in coordinated sets. You don’t really see her work at its best unless it is a gown and suit made for a couple, complementing each other exquisitely. Different specialties, so I’m not sure there would be any rival they share.”

“I thought as much when I looked at the way they dress. But Jazzy, she said she didn’t mention it to us because she didn’t realise it was a monster. We probably wouldn’t even know about this if Starry Knight hadn’t startled the dopant. So I think we need to ask around, check with other designers in case any of them have been attacked. I think you probably know everypony connected with fashion in this town, right?”

Rarity agreed, and they resolved to visit every boutique in Ponyville the next day. She could have gone alone, but they both understood that there was a not insignificant chance of running into a dopant at one of those shops, and in that case it was only prudent to have both a left and right Element there.

“Actually,” Twilight admitted, “There’s a spell I’d like to try before then, and I think you might be able to help me. Do you have any more magicite?”

“A little,” Rarity was suddenly curious now, and leaned in closer to ask, “What have you got in mind?”

What she had in mind turned out to be a set of six collars, ranging in texture to suit the tastes of the pony they were made for. Each was decorated with magicite crystals, as well as semi-precious stones in the colour of one of the Elements of Harmony. At the clasp, there was a pocket where the element itself could be carried conveniently, against the bearer’s throat. Rarity took great care in making them, staying up until the early hours of the morning, while Twilight spent just as long leafing through books in the library until Spike was too tired to help and fell asleep on his feet. Communication spells were simple enough, and enchantments to work with peculiar properties of certain gemstones. She could test it out using her own Element Joker, as well as the fractured shards that they had already collected from other Gaia Memories. By the time she thought she understood all the details, Twilight was swaying slightly from tiredness, but she knew she would have to complete the spell tonight if she wanted the collars to have calibrated by morning.

The brisk night air would wake her up, in any case. And she had little doubt that Rarity would still be working on making the collars look perfect, so she could prove her usefulness as a Champion of Harmony. If not, she could leave a note explaining the spell; it was a little complex, but she estimated that any unicorn would be able to perform it if they were familiar with the peculiarities of enchanting gems. Twilight’s special talents were only necessary for the task of devising a new magic that would use the link between the Elements to create an invisible link between the magicite set into each collar.


Rarity was still awake. She’d finished working on the collars, a little disappointed that she couldn’t complete them and see how they would look until Twilight arrived with the spell. She curled up on her bed, but just couldn’t sleep for wondering about the possibilities of their creation. Half an hour later, she was just starting to doze when she heard a sound of movement. A soft thud, and then a crash. She was on her hooves in an instant, her mind already filled with vague images of a monster tearing through her beautiful outfits and the mannequins that displayed them.

She wished for a moment that she’d collected the parts and then completed the project at the library while Twilight darted around the bookshelves to complete the other part of this creation. Then it would likely be finished now, and she’d have an easy way to send a call for help to the others. But then, she probably wouldn’t have got back here yet, and she wouldn’t have an opportunity to see what the monster looked like. It was dangerous, but if there was any clue to be gained from the thing’s appearance she had to try. She couldn’t let the opportunity to get one step closer to the Gala slip away.

She moved as softly as she could manage, until she was peeking around the corner and staring in horrified fascination. This wasn’t a horse-sized stallion made out of rock, or something that could possible have been armour. It was an entirely alien creature. It had four legs, but the whole weight of the creature was shifted back onto its hind legs like a chicken, allowing it to walk easily on two legs and use its much shorter forehooves to grab accessories from the shelves and throw them to the ground. Or its claws, that would be a more appropriate description. The moonlight streaming in through a huge hole in the outer wall illuminated ochre-grey scaly skin, with no hair to be seen. It looked like it might have a cutie mark on its oversized haunch, but it was too dark to make out from this distance.

The most terrifying detail, though, was its teeth. They were like an array of knives, some of them almost as long as Rarity’s leg, arrayed in a misshapen head that looked much too large for the body. Large enough to swallow a normal filly whole. The teeth were currently decorated with torn scraps of fabric, as well as splinters that could only be the remains of the wall. It roared, and bit down on more of the beautiful creations that she’d poured her heart into.

The glow of magic gave more shape to the darkness, and a dozen pairs of dressmaking scissors leapt across the room to attack the monster. For a second Rarity wondered if she’d acted on instinct, but she was pretty sure the magic wasn’t hers. A flash of violet light from the ragged hole in the wall answered any questions, as she heard the resonant boom of a Gaia Memory being activated: “JOKER!”

Rarity stared across the room and realised that her Element of Generosity was lying on the workbench, next to a collar that she’d sized in order to carry it. Always convenient, if only she’d decided to wear it to bed. She grabbed a dress that had mostly survived the devastation, and flung it over the creature’s face with her magic. For a moment it flailed wildly, those claws too short to reach around the outsized head. Twilight brought the jabbing scissors in like a swarm of insects, one or two drawing a little blood while Rarity levitated the Element across the room.

GENEROSITY!” she squeezed the switch on the side, even though the Driver hadn’t appeared yet. The monster roared through the dress, and charged straight toward the hole in the wall. It was still blinded by the dress, and broke away more damaged timbers from the wall as it passed, but seemed to have turned its attention away from the two ponies for now.

“Come on!” Rarity rushed over the the entrance, where Twilight was picking herself up from the rubble, “We need to chase it! GenerousJoker can beat this thing, and we get the ticket!”

“Rainbow Dash has the driver,” Twilight shook her head, “But I figured that if we sound off the Elements then anypony who knows what a Gaia Memory is will think we’ve both got the same kind of power he does. That’s got to scare him off.” Rarity just nodded as Twilight explained. It made perfect sense, but it just made her more eager to get their special project finished. She didn’t want to be in that situation ever again.

“Let’s get these things finished,” she sighed, “Then the night won’t be a complete loss.”

“Right.” Twilight passed Rarity a note, and started on her half of the spell. “It’ll be quicker if we work on this together. Once we’re done the spell will take three hours to synchronise along the Elements’ ethereal channel, after which it shouldn’t matter how far apart the collars are. But it’s not a loss anyway.”

“No?”

“No. We know for sure that this thing is going through the town’s boutiques for some reason, and I saw the letter that replaced his cutie mark as he dashed out. I can try looking through the ‘V’ section in my encyclopædia, see if I can find any kind of lizards and what weaknesses they might have.”

“I guess that’s…” Rarity started to reply, but cut off in surprise as the Driver appeared around her neck, magicite gems glowing a deep red. “What’s going on?”


Rainbow Dash couldn’t sleep. Her bed was so comfortable, and she was still tired after a day that had been a little busier than normal, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of going to the Gala and impressing the Wonderbolts with her flying skill. She couldn’t forgive herself if someone else caught the monster while she took a break. So she’d been flying back and forth above Ponyville for most of the afternoon, looking for any sign of a monster attack, and now she was doing the same thing after midnight.

She’d agreed with Pinkie Pie that they would fight this battle together. Rainbow Dash could fly over the city watching from above. Pinkie Pie could get a veritable army of friends to come find her the instant they saw something suspicious. They both had the right talents for this job, and they were already familiar with the special attack that would end the battle right away. She didn’t think the monster would show up at night, but there was always a chance. Enough chance to go out on patrol again after she realised she couldn’t sleep, in any case.

She was almost ready to give up again, wings aching after hours of repetitive movement, when she saw a monster running down the street. It wasn’t attacking anything, but there was no way it could be any kind of normal creature with that giant head. Rainbow Dash dived to land right in front of the creature and posed dramatically.

“Stop right there, dopant!” she yelled, proud to have remembered the proper name for once, “You’re about to face a real Champion of Harmony!” The magnets were already pulling the Driver snug around her neck, and she flipped her Element end over end and then reared up on her hind legs to catch it in the slot. There was no point making an entrance if you weren’t going to show off.

LOYALTY!” the driver’s voice echoed through the silent street, but the beast seemed more angry than scared. It just put its head down and charged. Rainbow Dash readied herself for the surge of strength that would come when her transformation was complete, expecting to knock the monster off its feet with a single swing of her hoof.

“Come on, Pinkie,” she muttered as the distance between champion and dopant was cut to a half, and then a quarter. Razor teeth gripped her and suddenly she was off the ground. The hard bulk of the driver kept them from piercing right through her breast, and luckily it didn’t seem particularly concerned with fighting her. The monster picked her up with its teeth and threw her into an alleyway, where her wings slowed her enough that she only suffered some bruises when she hit the wall.

“She’s asleep,” she muttered to herself as she slid to the ground, “now what?” But all wasn’t lost. As the dopant sprinted away down a different alleyway, the Driver glowed again.

LOYALTYGENEROSITY!” for a moment Rainbow Dash’s body glowed with all the brilliance of a thunderclap, and when the light died down there was a pony in armour standing in the alleyway. Her left half had Rainbow Dash’s sky blue coat, and her right half pure white. Her mane was a perfect rainbow, though with a lot more purple in the mix. The crystals of the armour shaded from purple on the right to red on the left, outlined with an iridescent glimmer that included every colour of the rainbow. It took them a few moments to gather their thoughts so they were both sure where they were and why.

(“I’m sorry I took so long to join you,” Rarity whispered, trying to get used to speaking within the privacy of their own mind, “I expected you would want to have Pinkie Pie’s assistance tonight.”)

(“That’s the idea,” Rainbow Dash shrugged, “But I think she fell asleep. And better Raridash than being beaten.”)

(“Your body’s awfully bruised, darling,” Rarity winced as they chased in the direction the monster had fled, “Let’s beat this quickly, and in the morning we can celebrate by going to the spa.” And then a few seconds later, she added: “Raridash? I thought it was just Pinkie who came up with names like that!” But she couldn’t think of anything better, and the name seemed so natural that it was hard not to think of their shared self in that way. It seemed that names, once chosen, were permanent.)

“Stop!” they called after the monster, catching sight again just around the second corner. Rainbow Dash was controlling their flight now, so Rarity lit their horn and threw the first thing she could see into its path. Boxes and trash cans provided little obstruction to such a powerful creature, but a glancing blow from an empty crate distracted it enough to make it turn around. It looked like it might actually be going to make a speech, to gloat over its impending victory, but the creature just roared and charged.

Raridash blinked and staggered, hooves touching the road again. The deafening sound had made their head ring, but there wasn’t time to think about it. They lashed out, a hoof connecting to the thing’s jaw, but it barely seemed to notice. While they were stronger than they had been individually, it was still nothing compared to the titanic punching power of Rainbow Pie. Rarity could keep throwing stones at it from behind and daze the reptile a little. Her magic was more powerful with two souls behind it, but she still felt as if she was spitting at a thunderstorm when she compared it to how being GenerousJoker had felt earlier in the day.

(“What can we do?” Dash was getting desperate as yet another kick merely dazed the monster slightly.)

(“Do the Rainboom thing? But I haven’t got a cannon. Is there something I can use as an alternative?”)

(“I don’t know. You could make him a new suit? Let’s just hit him together.”)

Raridash lifted the largest rock she could see with her magic, weighing it in the air. The monster saw what they were trying, though, and turned to face the boulder. It tried to dodge, but Raridash could just keep her weapon floating over its head as it moved. That bought them enough time to back up a little, and Dash’s wings launched them towards the monster at an incredible speed. With enough of a run up, they might do some serious damage, though Rarity was a little nervous about using her sensitive horn as a weapon. The enemy was fast, though, way too fast. They already knew it could have outrun anyone except Rainbow Dash, but it had reflexes to match and sidestepped as soon as they were close enough for it to hear their wingbeats.

A row of jagged teeth caught them in the belly, hurling them to one side. The attack would probably have eviscerated them if it wasn’t for the armoured plates that the driver granted. It didn’t even need to bite them, it just hooked its lower jaw underneath their body and then tilted its head upwards to flip them into the air. Just in time for a hundred-pound rock to smack it right between the eyes.

For the first time, the creature roared in pain rather than rage. For a moment, a ghostly image of a pony was visible at the centre of the monstrous form, but it didn’t last. Raridash grabbed some chains from a nearby warehouse and rushed to restrain it before it could stand up again. But it moved too quickly, leapt to its feet and sprinted away. Raridash gave chase, but soon rounded a corner to find the monster nowhere in sight. Even with the first light of dawn on the horizon it was too dark to notice much detail, and neither of them saw a single shop sign swinging gently in the breeze. Ten minutes later, they could only go home and hope that they were luckier in the morning.


“I was asleep,” Fluttershy whispered, “I tried to transform with you, but my Element was at the end of a long hallway, and the faster I ran the farther away it got. Maybe I should have realised it was a dream then, I’m sorry.”

“I knew I was dreaming,” Pinkie laughed, “I was in an imaginary place. The Driver appeared on my neck, and I could probably have done it. I just didn’t know what would happen if I activated it in my dreams, and I kind of didn’t know if it was a real driver or just something I imagined.”

“That’d be interesting,” Twilight called over from the far side of the library. She was still busily reshelving all the books that she’d needed to refer to the previous night. “We should conduct an experiment, but not when there’s a dopant around. We don’t know if it would wake you up, or give the left Element sole control of both powers, or even make both ponies fall asleep. That would be too dangerous to risk.”

“I wish you’d tried it,” Rainbow Dash sounded slightly bitter, but at least had the good grace to try to hide it, “I could have been killed. I don’t know what took Rarity so long to get there.”

“You said Rainbow Pie is the best pony,” Rarity snapped as she pushed the door open, “You didn’t want anypony else intruding on your victory. I only guessed she wasn’t coming when the Driver was still there after so long.”

“We need some way to know if it’s urgent,” Applejack butted in, “How many times have we had somepony appear that you weren’t expecting when you were just doing an experiment?”

“That’s what these are for,” Rarity pulled out the collars and passed them around, “Magicite gems, the same as the driver. Me and Twilight spent most of the night making them.”

“You store the Gaia Memories in them,” Twilight took over the explanation on seeing how tired Rarity was, “If you press the memory against the spring it should just pop out. But if you press it harder so the metal parts on the end touch this gem here,” she tapped her own collar to indicate, “the gems on all six collars will flash the colour of your Element. That means you’re fighting something, and you want everybody to get there as quickly as possible. I’d say if you tap twice that means it’s super urgent and transforming right now is more important than choosing who’s on the other half.”

“What if say Fluttershy is being attacked?” Applejack asked, “Dash would still have to find her so she can bring the driver.”

“I think we should be able to sense the magical connection of the Elements for a few seconds,” Twilight sounded a little less confident about this part, “If I have the Driver, I think I should be able to follow the signal and teleport to where you are. You might feel it as well, I’m not sure.”

“Well, let’s try this,” Rainbow Dash sighed, “I bet if I can tell where it’s coming from, I could get there just as fast without being all tired out.”


Twilight was the first to leave the meeting. Rarity had ended up distracted by comments on the style and comfort of the collars, and was adjusting many of them. She’d given Twilight a list of the monster’s other potential targets to check out while she made sure everypony was comfortable with their new accessories. She was confident enough in the alliance of two unicorns that she didn’t need to rush out, as long as she kept her Element within reach.

Twilight was a little surprised to find Fluttershy walking beside her in the direction of the second boutique on the list. She was wearing the new collar, so presumably she had been the first one Rarity had fitted. A cynical inner voice wondered if Rarity hadn’t chosen her deliberately, thinking that Fluttershy wasn’t much of a rival for the ticket.

“Hello Twilight! I called after you, but I don’t think you heard. Can I come with you? I want to help, but I’m a little scared of going on my own.”

“You’re welcome,” Twilight shrugged, “I’m just checking out fashion boutiques, because the dopant attacked three now. We think it must have something against designers. Next up is Pilgrims of Pride,” she squinted at Rarity’s note, “Quite new, set up by a mare called Speedy Thief a few months ago. She used to work for Windscale Designs, a big firm from Manehattan that’s just opened a few stores in Ponyville, but she left over an argument when another designer claimed credit for her work. Rarity says she hasn’t got much of a head for business, but she’s dating an accountant and a couple of the other independent stores have been trying to help her out until she finds her feet.”

“That’s nice of them.”

“Yeah, I always had this impression of fashionistas being all competitive, trying to convince the whole world they’re the best. Maybe that’s just how it seems to the outside world, but…” Twilight went quiet as they pushed open the door of the boutique and looked inside. There was no doubt the dopant had been here too, everything was shredded and even the mannequins were sliced in half.

“Hello?” Fluttershy called out, but even Twilight barely heard her, “Is anyone home?”

“Hello?” Twilight echoed. There was a faint sound from the back room, that could have been a stealthy breeze sneaking in to disturb some piece of paper. But it could just as easily have been the faintest hint of a giant reptile trying to make no noise. Twilight quickly snapped the driver around her neck, but then hesitated.

“Do you want to fight this monster?” she whispered to Fluttershy, “I think maybe Rarity should get the credit for sending us here. But this competition is turning out more trouble than it’s worth.”

“I think…” Fluttershy mumbled, “I think whoever fights it, it’s good that everypony is safe. And if there’s a fight here then I don’t want to be asleep where I might get hurt.”

“It might be safer going outside in any case. I don’t want you to be in any danger.” Fluttershy just nodded at that, and quickly made her way out of the ravaged shop.

JOKER!” the Element sang out as she squeezed its lever, and then immediately pressed it into the driver.

KINDNESSJOKER!”

(“I thought you didn’t want to fight?” Twilight asked, confused for just a moment, “The power of two unicorns might be more effective in defeating this monster.”)

(“I know, and I’m scared, but I can’t just give up my chance at going to the Gala. Is that okay?” Fluttershy was just as soft spoken as usual, but in their mental communications it was a lot easier to make out what she was saying. Twilight suspected that would be the case even if they were in the middle of a battle with crashes of destruction all around.)

(“Of course, we’ve got to do this fairly,” Twilight said, but she still couldn’t help feeling that this was incredibly unfair to Rarity. Maybe there just wasn’t a fair way to decide.)

Fluttertwi carefully reached through the door with her magic, and slid back the bolt on the other side. She could feel that she had more power than Twilight Sparkle did alone, though still nothing to compare to the awesome and terrifying magic of GenerousJoker. Together they nudged the door open, and found there was nothing to fight on the other side. A young stallion lay on his side, blood seeping through the scraps of fabric he’d been bound with, and a pegasus mare knelt over him, trying to tend his wounds.

She seemed almost as nervous as Fluttershy had been, and dived away to hide behind a work table as she heard the Champion of Harmony enter. She was wearing a bonnet and dress both decorated with an extraordinary number of buckles, much like the ruins of the collection in the main part of the shop. The material was snagged and torn, but the outfit mostly in one piece.

“Is it gone?” she stammered, “I was so afraid!”

“Speedy Thief?” Fluttertwi ventured.

“Yes, and this is… I think he’s Jaquardine’s coltfriend, she runs that wedding boutique. We’ve met a few times, working in the same profession, and I’ve seen him in the store.”

“Starry Knight. We’ve been looking for him.”

“Oh, no! Did the monster attack there as well? That’s horrid! I thought it was just something it hated me for, something to do with…” she stared down at the ground. Her muzzle bobbed slightly to indicate that she was still speaking, but no sound emerged.

“What?” Fluttershy used her own voice, softer than the echoey chorus that emerged when the two of them decided to speak together. “Please, can you help us?”

“I thought it was something personal. I worked for Windscale, have you heard of them? And some of the other ponies who worked there were jealous because I could create something beautiful on my own, rather than needing a committee to produce a design, or a pattern to work from. And some other designers, too, they were upset that I had the stability of a big company, so I wouldn’t lose everything if sales drop for a month or a season. Then my fiancé lost his job as well, and I had to think it was personal. A week later he disappeared, and then after that I came home and found my new boutique like this…” Anything else she said couldn’t be heard over the sobs.

They took her back to the library, where she would be safe. They couldn’t think what else to do. And then they split up to check the other establishments on Rarity’s list. They all wanted to be the one who found the monster, but more important than that they couldn’t stand by while an innocent got hurt.


When Applejack got back, she found Twilight Sparkle finishing a letter, which she immediately handed to Spike. The little dragon exhaled a burst of green flame, and whatever strange magic lurked within him sent the letter across the world.

“What are you doing?” Applejack was immediately suspicious, “Trying to follow some new lead while we’re all following a cold trail?”

“Writing to Princess Celestia,” Twilight responded, “It’s clear to me that this competition is not a good thing. Rainbow Dash got hurt last night because Rarity wasn’t sure if her help would be welcome. We started going around boutiques on our own, I didn’t share the idea straight away, and that meant Speedy got to spend a night on the streets, too nervous to go back home. We all want to go to the Gala, but it’s not worth getting anypony hurt over. So I returned the ticket, said that our power lies in teamwork, and we don’t want to split up the team.”

“Are you crazy?” Applejack yelled, but then her expression softened as she thought about it a little more. Behind her, the others had arrived in time to hear part of the speech, and everypony was nodding.

“I agree,” Rainbow Dash nodded, “If one of you gals got hurt because I leapt in when I’m not the right pony for the job, I’d never forgive myself. Better for none of us to go.”

“I’ll show them,” Pinkie Pie grinned, leaping into the air as she gestured around the room, “With balloons and banners and a bran tub, I’ll throw a party even better than the so-called ‘Grand’ Gala, and next year Princess Celestia will be begging for a ticket to come here, and we’ll only send her one!”

“At a party, everyone does their best to outshine the others,” Rarity speculated, “The whole place will be filled with sparkling costumes, many tacky enough that it would be impossible to be noticed without being just as tasteless. My forté is in outfits both stylish and practical, bringing beauty to everyday life, so there are better opportunities for me to demonstrate my works to society’s elite.”

“I guess so,” Applejack drawled, “An’ you all are helping me raise the money to fix that barn roof. But first, we’ve got a monster to beat.”

“You won’t be interested in the Princess’s reply, then?” Spike held up a letter, that none of them had heard arrive over the commotion.

“I hope I’ve not offended her by rejecting such a generous offer,” Twilight said, practically trembling, “But if she’s trying to persuade us to come, we shouldn’t look until after the dopant is dealt with. Spike, I need you to take care of that letter for a while. No distractions until we’ve done our duty. Right?” Everypony nodded, one by one.

“Trouble is, how do we find him?” Applejack was the first to get down to practical matters, “That monster keeps giving us the slip, I wonder if he can turn back to a normal pony when we’re not looking.” The dismissive shake of her head said all that needed to be said about what she thought of that kind of trickery.

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Pinkie said, “I mean, we checked all the boutiques, but there doesn’t seem to be so much rivalry there, and the dopant seems like he’s kidnapping coltfriends and leaving them in somebody else’s shop. That’s just strange, and not something a business rival would do. I tried to think what else Jaquardine and Speedy have in common, but I can’t think of anything.”

“I thought you knew everything about everybody?” Spike said, “Maybe whatever it is, it’s just some big secret that nopony knows.”

“Sometimes that’s the problem,” Pinkie confessed, looking a little embarrassed for once, “I know so many interesting things about all my friends, I can’t figure out what the important bits are. I bet it’s the same with your library, Twilight, there’s so many words but you don’t know which one the thing you want is in.”

“That’s what a library catalogue is for,” Twilight whisked hers over, beaming with pride, “It took me nearly three days to create this when I moved in, but now I can find exactly which book contains a necessary fact in seconds.”

“Oh, I never had one of those for my books,” Pinkie shrugged, “I just look through them all the old fashioned way.”

“Your books?” Rarity managed to suppress a chuckle, “Pinkie, I’ve seen your room. There isn’t space in there for more than two or three books.”

“No, the books about people! I heard that your dreams are all about organising what you learned. And when I was sick in bed for a week, I was dreaming a lot, so I made a dream library in where there’s books about everything I learned today. Sometimes when I’m asleep and I haven’t got any better ideas for adventures, I just read them to help me not forget anything when I meet people.”

“You can do that in dreams?” Rainbow Dash was shocked, “Why did you never tell me about this?”

“I wonder…” Twilight took out the Driver, and stared at the strange mechanism thoughtfully, “This thing lets us share thoughts. So if you use it in your dreams, do you think you could bring some books to me from this library? I’m not sure how that might work, but it seems worth an experiment if we can’t find anything before…” she quickly went silent as Pinkie nodded and then quickly started snoring, right there in the corner of the room.

“I will never understand how she does that,” Applejack declared, “But maybe you should stop staring and put the Driver on, sugarcube?”

“Yeah,” Twilight swung the device over her head and the magnetic clasps quickly secured themselves. The top edge rested neatly against her collar, looking like a single piece of jewelry, but she didn’t waste time admiring it before activating her Element.

JOKER!” the Driver sang out, and its ghostly twins appeared around Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity’s necks. After a few seconds, the gems on the Drivers were glowing violet and blue, but there was no sign of transformation. Twilight wasn’t sure if she should be more intrigued that the Driver could sense Pinkie putting in a dream of her Element, or that this wasn’t enough to allow their minds to merge. She could deal with that later, in any case, after she used her magic to lift the Element of Laughter from Pinkie’s collar. It almost felt like the Driver was sucking it in. After the usual light show, Pinkie Pie was still standing asleep in the corner, but the armour-clad form of Twinkie had her eyes closed as well.

“I guess, maybe that worked, then?” Applejack looked between them uncertainly. “So what do we do now?”

“I need to practise my magic, I think,” said Rarity, “I’m an expert at using it to craft things of beauty, but I’m not strong enough to use it in a fight. I don’t want to be the weak link letting us down. And I need to find what talent I have that could be used to break a Gaia Memory. I’m skilled with scissors, but I don’t think they compare to Pinkie’s party cannon in the realm of sheer brute force.”

“The cannons never hurt anyone,” Fluttershy spoke up, “I asked Pinkie about that, because it was a bit scary seeing them use it like a weapon. She said she thinks the Party just reminded Sunlit Plain about a good time in his life, and helped him think about things that aren’t revenge, so his heart wasn’t holding on to the Gaia Memory for a second. Like when an animal is hurt, they might thrash around and bite, so you have to distract them enough that they’ll let you help.”

“That kinda makes sense,” Rainbow Dash agreed, “My Sonic Rainboom is awesome on its own, and just using the Driver makes me stronger and faster. It gives me the last little bit to do a Rainboom whenever I want. So the cannon doesn’t really need to add any force, it just distracts the monster.”

“Maybe giving them a makeover could help, then,” Rarity glared at Rainbow Dash for a moment, but there was no real malice there, “If I can find a way to do it quickly. I just need to distract the monster, and give them good feelings, while Rainbow Dash provides the physical blow to break their Memory.”


Pinkie was standing surrounded by books when the Driver appeared around her neck. As the last thing she’d seen before going to sleep was Twilight’s library, the books around her were arranged in roughly the same shape, although without shelves. They hung in the air tracing the outline of the hollow tree, with more books arranged in similar shapes beyond them as far as the mind’s eye could see.

She levitated her Gaia Memory and slotted it into the driver. It glowed for a few seconds, gently thrumming as if power was building up inside it, and then Twilight was standing opposite her. Twilight Sparkle was wearing the Driver, and the pale blue anodised metal plates of Pinkie’s Champion of Harmony armour, and looking down at her own hooves Pinkie realised that her own armour was the glittering violet that normally covered the left half of their shared body.

It was interesting to see a complete set of the Elements’ armour, rather than two complementary styles and two different half ponies joined by a fine line of silver and gold braid. It was only a dream, probably, but it was nice to see what her superhero costume looked like from the outside.

“Umm, Pinkie?” Twilight was looking at her strangely, as if something was weird, “How long have you been an alicorn?”

“Why not? It’s a dream, I can be whatever I want. You know I never realised how useful it was until we were being Twinkie, and then being Rainbow Pie. I know how doing magic feels like now, and what it feels like to have the horn, and what the wind blowing over my feathers feels like. So I kept it all in my dream.”

“Oh,” Twilight deflated a little. Of course it was only a dream, so the changes wouldn’t carry through in the real world. She’d initially been worried, because some great psychologists had said that seeing yourself differently in dreams might be a sign of some more significant problems. But Pinkie, it seemed, could use a dream library to help her manage her memories. So for her at least the dream world was a practical, rather than a fanciful and abstract place. “Well, why don’t you show me this library?”

The books just hung there. Beyond them there was only more books, and space. Where there weren’t piles of books covering it (mirroring the location, but not the content, of real books in the room where they were sleeping right now), the floor was completely plain. Not black, or white, but simply plain. It didn’t have colour or texture or any kind of detail. The only thing that existed in this dream was the books themselves, and the dreamers.

Twilight lifted one of the books, with the name ‘Octavia Melody’ emblazoned on the front cover. As soon as she touched it, she found she knew who Octavia was, and would be able to recognise her if she saw her around town again. After opening the book, she quickly saw that the pages were entirely blank. But she could feel Pinkie’s knowledge flowing into her mind, and she could remember everything that mattered about Octavia; her talents and dreams, her family, her birthday and favourite type of cake.

“Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a library this big. Is this all just things you know? I should have asked about this before. So where are the books on all the boutique owners?”

“I think Jaquardine should be over here…” Pinkie was less certain, not her usual energetic self. It was a while before Twilight really understood. Pinkie Pie was confident and sure of herself because everything she learned about someone, she recorded in her internal library. And just like it was possible to dream an entire life in one night, maybe she had time to search this place for one book she needed so quickly that nobody would notice her brief power-nap.

“You just poke around until you find the one you want?” Twilight asked, incredulous, “With such a large collection that could take hours! Days, even!”

“I know. It’s only dream time, but I get real tired if I come here more than once a day. I don’t know how real libraries manage.”

“Pinkie,” Twilight grinned, “I think it’s about time you learn about the power of indices.” The first line was kind of flippant. The rest of the explanation took a long time, and actually cataloguing all the references in the books and setting them on the right shelves took years. But this was a dream. Like watching a play, you could just wave a hoof and say ‘Two months later…’. Eventually, the books were in order and on shelves. Having two unicorns, both able to lift a dozen books at once with their magic, helped the work go more quickly as well.

“Okay!” Twilight said at last, “Let’s see who has something to gain by attacking all those dressmakers. If we grab all the books, the information should be in there somewhere. And… who’s that?” She pointed a single hoof between the long aisles of suspended books, but by the time Pinkie turned around the shadowy figure was gone.

“A bad dream, I think. I don’t know, he might have been an imaginary friend when I was a foal, I’m not sure. But I can’t stop imagining him here, and I’m too scared to… Look, can we just find what we need and then wake up? Please?” Twilight wanted to know more, but she’d known Pinkie Pie long enough to be sure this almost complete reversal in her personality couldn’t be helpful.

“Right,” she said, “Let’s try this. Look up: Boutique.” Pinkie opened a single large book that glowed with imaginary magic. The only word on the cover was ‘INDEX’, and the pages were crowded with text so small it was unreadable. But Pinkie knew how it worked, and she could turn to the page with the ‘Boutique’ entry as easily as she could read the books that had no words at all. Instantly a hundred thousand books vanished from all around them, and the remainder shuffled themselves like a deck of cards, or an ants’ nest moving with mysterious purpose.

“Two thousand, seven hundred and twelve books,” Pinkie read off from the air in front of her, “We need something to narrow it down.”

“Try looking up ‘Reptile’ as well?” Twilight spoke, Pinkie flipped through the index, and more books disappeared. Now there were only enough to sparsely fill a dozen shelves around the two ponies. Twilight could easily see a shadowy figure in the distance now there were fewer books in between, but she didn’t mention it to Pinkie just yet.

“Three hundred and seventy one.”

“Okay, why is the dopant doing this? We need to think what’s different,” Twilight mused for a second, but it was hard to concentrate when she could watch a figure moving slowly closer, silhouetted against a background that was neither black nor white. She’d never expected this, though she thought she should have done. Dreams often had other ponies in them, and remnants of childhood fears. She knew from her own experience that the denizens of a dream could… “I got it! The wedding boutique was different, all the others were attacked when they were closed. Why would that one be different, unless it wanted to attack Starry Knight?”

“Right. Keyword: Starry Knight. Six books.” All six were right in front of Pinkie, and Twilight was about to suggest they read them all. But then the imaginary friend charged towards them, and she felt a trace of Pinkie’s irrational fear.

“Keyword: Rivals,” Twilight said, not giving herself time to really think about it. They’d already deduced that there was no real rivalry between the different designers in this town, but she couldn’t stop feeling like it was there.

“One book!” Pinkie reached out her hooves to catch it. Twilight only saw the cover before the dark figure reached them, but that was enough to know they’d searched for the right things. A book bound in leather, an unhealthy shade of pale grey-green that looked almost like the texture of scales. And a single word on the cover, beginning with ‘V’.


Twinkie blinked rapidly, and looked around the library. Pinkie’s body was still asleep in the corner, but somepony had seen fit to put a party hat on her head. Or some dragon, more likely. Applejack was standing guard, as if there was a chance the dopant might come back.

“AJ!” Twilight was the first to find her voice, “Where’s Speedy?”

“Rarity said the monster’s going round attacking different places, so it’s not going to attack her again. Said she’d help tidy the place up. Why?”

“We have to get there.” She didn’t stop to talk any longer, but took off at a full gallop.

(“Feels like my head’s going to overflow,” Twilight muttered mentally as they ran, “You sure you can remember the stuff from that book right?”)

(“Yeah. I only managed to read a few pages about the dopant’s powers, but it’s all pretty simple. If you keep still, it can’t see you.”)

(“I should have realised. They say many lizards don’t see stationary objects, because they don’t need to. So we just keep still and use magic to attack it, and we can’t lose.”)

(“Just one problem. I had so much sugar this morning, I don’t know if I can keep still.”)


Rarity did her best to help Speedy Thief clear away the ruined dresses. Some of them were very interesting designs, using buckles in ways she would never have thought to try. She knew the younger pony had talent, and it was only bad luck that she didn’t have so much success. In one corner, there was a small display case containing trophies and awards as a testament to her skills.

“I almost forgot about this,” she laughed, “The Windscale New Creators’ Showcase Awards. That was the first time we met, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Speedy nodded, “It was the week I arrived in Ponyville, I thought it was some kind of omen. Winning such a prestigious award, it had to mean something, right? A trophy presented by noted designer Suri Polomare, and a career as the chief designer of Windscale’s new Ponyville branch. I thought my life was golden. I never imagined… this.”

Rarity looked at the other items in the cabinet, some lesser trophies and a couple of framed photographs. The first was the award ceremony, with Speedy and four runners up trying to hide their nerves on stage. Rarity saw her younger self without much of the confidence that characterised her now, standing between Jazzy Glamour and Buttercup Blush, while on the other side of Speedy, Elegant Form had been beaming so proudly just to be on stage.

“We were all there,” Rarity finally started to make the connection, “Me, you, Elegant, and Jazzy. Four shops attacked, out of five finalists.”

“You don’t think Buttercup…?” Speedy left the suggestion hanging in the air. Rarity tried not to nod, but it did seem like a reason for jealousy. For such a prestigious trophy, being judged last could be a painful experience. And she’d seen just recently how rivalry could turn even good friends against each other, when they were aiming for the same goal. Then she looked at the other photograph.

A young couple, blank flanks still so it must have been taken quite some time ago. They were resting in a country meadow, lying as close as modesty would allow. They were happy and young, meeting by chance on vacation, and living in the moment and trying not to think about the inevitable return to homes in different towns. This one wasn’t a testament to Speedy’s skill, but a personal good memory that she saw as important enough to keep with the others. A train ticket tucked under the frame reminded Rarity that Speedy Thief said she had come to Ponyville in the hope of meeting up again with a colt she had known years before. Maybe she had managed that, maybe not. Rarity knew she should keep her muzzle out of the other pony’s private business, but she was curious enough to turn the picture so that the light reflecting from the cracked frame didn’t obscure the young couple’s faces. Speedy Thief and Starry Knight, even without their cutie marks the shape and shade of those eyes was enough to be sure.

“You won the contest,” Rarity spoke more slowly now, “but the colt you loved was a stallion now, and already engaged.”

“It’s not like that. I won the contest, but then everything I made belonged to the company. When I complained they just fired me, like they do everypony who’s too good for that group. My fiancé lost his job right after me, that could only have been through spite. And when I tried to make my own way, I can’t earn enough for two. You think I need your pity? You all have a successful boutique, every knows your names, and I can’t have the same even though I’m better than all of you. I’ve even got the trophy to prove it!”

Speedy hitched up the side of her dress, revealing the letter that had replaced her cutie mark.
Rarity reached out with her magic and tried to snatch the Gaia Memory away, but she couldn’t even touch it. The memory called out its name, but the voice was louder and more aggressive than that of the Elements of Harmony. It sounded like some engine’s roar of complaint, or the grinding voice of a dragon turned to stone, and before the echoes had even died away the monster in front of her was roaring. The pleats in Speedy Thief’s skirts became parallel lines of scales. The deep blue of her coat became pale and grey, and her mane vanished as Rarity watched. As row upon row of scales grew over each other, her head quickly changed into the outsized monstrosity that had terrorised her friends. Rarity didn’t have the first idea what it was supposed to be, but she knew how terrifying it was.

Her first thought was to run to the back room, or outside. With her body so drastically changed, would the monster even be able to open a door? That had been her plan ever since Speedy Thief had told them that she’d fled into the back room and barred the door, but obviously that information wasn’t reliable now. She whipped clothes up into the air and ran to one side as the monster charged, hoping she could just distract it long enough to call for help. Pressing her Element of Harmony into her collar made it sing out, and then she hoped she would only have minutes to wait before Rainbow or Twilight got here. To her surprise, the Driver appeared on her neck immediately, and she instinctively transferred the Element she was holding.

GENEROSITYJOKER!” her hooves hit the ground running, just a few blocks away in the street outside.

(“Speedy Thief is the monster!” she gasped, “My body’s still in there with her, I transformed without thinking.”)

(“We know,” Twilight answered confidently, “Pinkie had all the clues, like an encyclopædia of personal trivia. It was just a case of putting it all together. And that creature is akinetoagnostic, it can’t see you if you don’t move. The Memory feeds off the desire to do better than others, slowly corrupting ambitions until destroying a rival’s work is as good as doing better yourself. Speedy Thief needs our help.”)

The explanation only took a couple of seconds, if that, but they were already outside the shop. GenerousJoker blinked, and focused intently on channeling their magic. They could call out tremendous power without a second thought, they already knew that. But the objective here was to knock the dopant out, not to kill her, and that would take a good deal more work. In an instance, every window in the shop shattered and sent shards of glass flying inwards. Twilight was surprised to find that they were aware of the position and velocity of every single one, able to control them however they wanted. This was beyond even her skills, and Rarity was in awe.

They walked up to the doorway and faced the dopant. As promised, Rarity could see that her body was unscathed. Now the monster couldn’t attack them, surrounded by a cyclone of whirling glass shards and strips of cloth.

“You can’t stop me!” it shrieked, the voice sounding more like a mare hysterical and on the edge of tears than a rampaging monster. “You might know who I am but you can’t stop me, the salesman said that no weapon can penetrate the scales of this ancient beast.”

“Do you really think that matters?” Rarity yelled, almost crying herself, “You were our friend, Speedy. We cared about you, and we were thrilled when you won that prize. We helped you set up this place because we believed in you, and nopony should have to start off on their own. We helped each other out, too, when we started. It would have been five of us all making a success together, you didn’t need to shut yourself off just because you won. We were never jealous, we were proud of you, Speedy.”

Throughout the speech, the dopant had been batting aside slivers of glass. Its claws and muzzle were cut to ribbons, but the scales healed even as they watched, growing thicker. Another couple of steps and there would be nothing to stop it attacking them.

(“I think I understand now,” Rarity took the lead, “Do you mind if I use some of your magic? I think the things I need are all around here, if you can just keep us alive for a moment.”)

“Don’t you see?” the dopant screeched, “Pain means nothing to me! A few pieces of glass can’t compare to the scorn you burned into my heart over these last years. To the pain of knowing that someone I trusted went out and stole my true love. You cannot stop me!”

“We don’t want to stop you,” Rarity spoke quietly, but the gale of flying fabric they were still conjuring amplified her words so there was no chance she would go unheard. “We want to help you. You’ve destroyed your own work as well as ours, and I think maybe there’s something behind that, something you don’t want to admit.”

“I don’t need these scraps any more! I will win by destroying all who oppose me. I don’t need a career filled with petty rivalry and empty promises, I don’t need to…”

“No,” Rarity interrupted, and GenerousJoker’s magic gripped the creature’s muzzle to prevent her from speaking. “You destroyed these clothes because you don’t love them. You’ve been studying with that big company, learning how to design the things that will sell well, and they haven’t here. Because if people come to a boutique where they can meet the designer, they want something unique. Something with emotion in it. You destroyed these because somewhere inside, you know you can do better. And we all tried to help you make this shop a success because you’ve shown us what you’re capable of. Just look.”

The swirling fabrics dropped to the ground. Beyond them, Rarity stood alone, the right half of a pony with an ethereal, translucent shimmer standing in where the other half might have been. They both knew that they could only remain separate like this for seconds, and hoped that it would be time enough. Speedy could have charged, but her attention was focused on the mirror Rarity was holding up. She saw herself, a monstrous freak thanks to the effects of the memory, dressed in a beautiful gown decked with brilliant jewels. She hadn’t even noticed that the Champions of Harmony were laying pieces of the swirling fabric on her body. And as distorted as it was, it still looked good.

Her eyes went wide as she finally realised why the style looked so familiar. It was her own design from the New Creators’ Showcase, an asymmetrical evening gown that borrowed a few subtle elements and accents from the cut of the tuxedo Starry Knight had worn on their fifth and last date. She had worked day and night to make that outfit perfect, like the dress she saw in her dreams. And then she had worked even harder to gain respect, and to influence enough people that she could stand a chance of getting the gown made by a large company and sold across Equestria. She had gone into this with no thoughts of being the best or the richest, simply because she had an idea that was too good to be obscure and forgotten.

She’d forgotten it somewhere along the path, but Rarity remembered every detail. Maybe if she went back to doing things she loved, she could become famous without needing to hurt others.

A wave of pain shot through her body as the Gaia Memory tried to erase the unfamiliar thought. She had hope, but the jealousy that the crystal had fostered was too powerful, and would snuff it out almost as soon as the thought had arrived. Then the Driver’s power to maintain two separate bodies had been pushed as long as it could last. The two half-ghost ponies snapped back together like the ends of an overstretched spring, and Speedy Thief was right between them. They passed through her somehow, and she felt Twilight Sparkle’s horn probing inside her haunch to strike directly at the Gaia Memory.

A flash, a burst of magic so powerful that ponies across half off the town were stunned for a moment. Then Speedy Thief was lying on the ground, and GenerousJoker standing beside her with a pea-soup-green crystal held tightly in their hooves.

“I can’t believe I forgot that!” Speedy gushed, “That thing must have twisted my mind as much as it did Sunlit. Somehow I thought I was immune. But you’ve given me hope, I don’t need to destroy anything. I can just make the designs I love, and people will flock to my store. Then there’ll be no doubt that I’m the best!” It was probably good that she couldn’t see what Rarity was thinking then, or Twilight’s unspoken curses as the Gaia Memory they were holding splintered and most of its power escaped.

(“I think we won, though that mare’s attitude always detracted from her talents in my opinion,” Rarity whispered into Twilight’s mind as they walked Speedy Thief to the hospital. “So does that mean we can go to the Grand Galloping Gala?”)

(“I told you, I returned the ticket. That wasn’t some kind of trick, you know. I want to go as much as anypony, but it’s not worth risking our friendship over, or our lives.”)

(“I know you said that. But you haven’t read the Princess’s letter yet. Did you know,for example, that there are a dozen different situations in which the Princess could refuse to accept your refusal of the ticket? A Royal Summons isn’t easily ignored if she wishes any of her subjects to be present.”)

(“I guess we’d better wait and see, then,”)
Nopony who wasn’t in the same body would have noticed their pace picking up, ever so slightly, at that thought.


“Okay, Spike,” Twilight Sparkle sighed as they filed into the library and saw the little dragon sitting with a scroll unfurled, “What does the letter say? Is Princess Celestia angry?”

“Nah. Pretty much ‘Why didn’t you say so?’, and how she doesn’t want you to miss out.” Spike fanned out six tickets and waved them in the air.

“Perfect,” Rarity beamed, “I can’t wait to show off our beautiful twin-unicorn form, the perfect canvas for my designs.”

“Hey! Why do you get to go as the Champion of Harmony?” Rainbow Dash interrupted, “I’ve still beaten more dopants, you two can’t hog all the fans.”

Pinkie Pie just shook her head and giggled, and Spike produced a bowl of popcorn from somewhere as four ponies watched their feuding friends in amusement. Sooner or later they would realise that only two of them actually wanted to go as the Champion, and the rest would be happier in their own bodies. But until then it would be amusing to watch.

Author's Note:

Again, thanks to twilight for the typo and canonicity checking.

And sorry this one took so long to finish; I thought it was almost finished when I published episode 3, then realised I'd missed a couple of scenes. I think I need to get better at figuring out where the middle of the story is, because yet again the second half of a two-episode story ends up being 2½ times the length of the first.

If there's any episodes (of either show) that you'd particularly be interested in seeing, then let me know. Next up, “The Season to B…” and “Call of the B” (running two stories in parallel this time, because I don't think either of them has enough meat to fill two episodes. Can you guess which?)

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