“So, darling, I must say I was somewhat surprised by your invitation. Might I ask why you wanted us to come over?” Stella asked as they walked up to the farm.
“I just wanted to make sure you got the full pony friendship treatment, is all. I’ve done sleepovers with my other friends, why not you? Besides, I’ll bet you ain’t ever done it yourself, growin’ up in dragon country and all,” Apple Bloom replied.
“Well, I suppose you have a point there.”
Sweetie Belle snickered. “We’ve never had a boy over, though.”
“Not to worry, I’ll keep him entertained,” Stella said with a smile.
Rumble rolled his eyes. “It’s only a sleepover, I think I can handle it.” Right as he said it and they walked through the front door, Rumble was rushed by the family pet. Winona barked and circled around him excitedly, pressing her muzzle against his face at random.
“Umm, Apple Bloom?” Rumble wiped his face and tried to keep walking despite the canine blocking his way.
“Oh, don’t mind her. She does that to everyone that walks through the door. She’s just tryin’ to make sure she’s got your scent, she only does that once.”
Applejack sighed. “Down, girl.”
Apparently satisfied with her inspection, Winona returned to her usual spot in front of the fireplace.
Stella chuckled. “My, quite the guard you’ve got there.”
Apple Bloom had to try her darnedest not to smirk. “Yeah, you might say that.”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were both tired after the wedlock, of course, and Rumble and Stella were no different. Rumble had brought his light blue peejays and grey socks, Stella wore a dark blue nightgown with stars on it, and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle just had peejays that matched their coat colours with apples and gems on them.
Applejack knocked on the bedroom door and came in. “You youngins ready to hit the hay?”
Rumble yawned. “Yeah.”
“We’re almost ready, Applejack. Stella’s not ready yet,” Apple Bloom said.
Stella looked herself over. “What do you mean, darling?”
“I think you know what I mean,” Apple Bloom said, fixing the rousette girl with a glare.
Applejack sighed. “What is it now?”
“You mean you ain’t noticed, Applejack?”
“Noticed what, darling?”
“Yeah, what are you talking about?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Apple Bloom chuckled. “I gotta admit, you’re good, Stella. You almost had me. But you’re not perfect yet.”
“Apple Bloom, what are you saying?” Rumble said.
Apple Bloom sat down and jutted her chest forward in defiance. “I’m saying the girl you wedlocked is a fake, and that whole ceremony back there was a sham. There is no Stella, is there?”
Stella froze. Her eyes darted from Apple Bloom to Applejack to Rumble. Rumble gently shook his head, Stella chuckled nervously. “I’m afraid I don’t follow.”
“Drop the act, Scootaloo. I know that’s you under there,” Apple Bloom said.
Rumble froze. “Apple Bloom, are you crazy? Why would you even think that?”
“Two things. First: Rarity gave you away.”
Stella still wouldn’t flinch, or even move. “How so?”
“You act like Rarity, you move like Rarity, even your voice sounds a lot like hers. Sweetie Belle, back me up on this would ya?”
Sweetie Belle weighed that in her head. “Umm, yeah, that’s true. You do sound a lot like my sister.”
Stella chuckled nervously. “And exactly how does that make me a fake, darling?”
“Where’d you learn to say ‘darling’ all the time? From your tutors?”
“Of course.”
“The tutors you had while you were in dragon country. Because you had to be around Lord Nox, as his successor, right?”
“Right.”
Apple Bloom smirked. “So then there were other rousettes in dragon country, then? That’s not what you said before.”
“W-well, of course there were a few, darling. Not anyone I could talk to, though.” Stella looked away.
“Did you invite us to sleep over just so you could accuse us?” Rumble asked.
“I invited y’all over to see if rousettes really respected pony traditions, like they want us to respect theirs. I got my answer. Now drop the act, Scootaloo.”
“I still don’t see how you can be sure it’s an act,” Sweetie Belle said.
“Think about it for a second,” Apple Bloom said. “You saw Lord Nox at the wedlock, and you saw Rarity. Did Lord Nox act like Rarity did?”
“Of course he didn’t,” Sweetie Belle replied. “He’s way more, um, loud and heavy.”
“Exactly. Lord Nox acts and talks like somepony who knows no one’ll ever get in his way, like someone who’s used to dealing with dragons and stuff that’s way bigger than him. He stomps and talks real loud, makes sure everyone pays attention to him. You walk and talk all delicate like. I met him before I met you, Stella, and right when I first saw you, I knew something was off. You’re calm, quiet, and collected.”
“Well, Lord Nox isn’t my biological father, as you know. He is my guardian, and he taught me.”
“Then why is it you walk and talk like Rarity and not like him?”
Stella didn’t have an answer to that.
“See, the whole set-up with you and Nox, it’s clever, but it kinda has a hole in it: if you’re really his successor, you’re supposed to be just like Lord Nox. If you really have to follow him around all the time, I’d imagine he expects you to act like he does, that’s what the other rousettes told me. Even if you have tutors, you said yourself you ought to act like him, you’d be taught to be as loud as he is. You ought to be prepped to deal with dragons. But you don’t act like that. You act like a regular lady, one who grew up in Canterlot. You act like someone who’s still tryin’ to follow the rules, who only deals with other ponies, or other nobles. Lord Nox acts like someone who knows the rules don’t apply to him. In fact, if no one had told me you two were related, I would never have guessed Lord Nox has anything to do with you.”
“You mean not a single rousette would notice one of their Lords lying about his family? That’s just silly,” Stella retorted.
“No, no it ain’t. The rousettes wouldn’t notice because they respect Nox too much; they’re scared of him. He throws his weight around, like what you’d expect from someone who has to deal with dragons all the time. But you don’t, and that don’t make a lick of sense.”
“But I am his successor, Apple Bloom. I just haven’t been around him for long enough, because he didn’t raise me as a child. He only became my guardian after my parents died. But I am trying to act like him in every way.”
“No, you don’t. And I can prove it.”
“How?”
“If you’re really supposed to be a future ambassador, how come it was Chitter who explained to us that you’re gettin’ groomed as a successor, and not you? As I recall, you didn’t want her to explain that part. Seems like that’s one of the first things you’d explain when you’re makin’ introductions, ain’t it? And more to the point, if you’re really just like Lord Nox, how come he introduces himself as Lord Nox, and every rousette says to address him as a Lord, but no one, not even you, ever calls you Lady Stella?”
“W-well, I’m not used to standing on my title yet. None of that proves anything,” Stella said. “And I’d be careful if I were you, darling; you’re sounding delusional.”
“Nice try. You’re not really Lord Nox’ ward. You just act like any old noble filly would and hope no one’ll notice the difference. But there is a difference. You overcompensate and act like a pony noble instead of a bat noble. And if that part of you is fake, then the whole thing is fake. You just put up an act and copied whatever you could from Rarity, or any other fancy ponies you might know, because you couldn’t be around Lord Nox for long enough to learn. That’s why you didn’t show up at our dinner, either: you were up in the clouds with your parents.”
Applejack nodded. “Lord Nox said you were asleep when I came around, but really, you weren’t even in the house, huh?”
Stella growled. “You believe her? You’re just throwing baseless accusations at me. You have no proof.”
Apple Bloom smirked. “Maybe not, but I know someone in this house who does.”
Stella stiffened. “You really are delusional.”
“We’ll see. I like to keep track of all the stuff we do as Crusaders. Sweetie’s sister doesn’t like it when we use her place for storage.” Apple Bloom went to her closet and opened it to rummage through one of the boxes.
“She says it makes her workshop smell, just because we don’t wash every single time we wear something,” Sweetie Belle explained.
Apple Bloom whistled loudly when she got what she needed. Stella’s eyes widened when the Apple family dog came running in.
Apple Bloom held up a mass of dark fabric, a bodysuit of sorts. “This here costume was only worn once, by Scootaloo. Now, I’m willin’ to accept that the whole acting different thing doesn’t prove anything, but one there’s one thing that’d be too big to ignore.” Apple Bloom held the costume in front of Winona’s nose. “The smell. My dog’s a herdin’ dog, you see. She’s trained to go find lost sheep and such. All we gotta do is give her the scent and say ‘search’.”
In a heartbeat, Winona positioned herself in front of the rousette, wagging her tail and barking excitedly. The dog looked back and forth between her masters and her target, confused at this pathetically simple task of finding a girl who was in the same room as them. But ponies, as all dogs knew, were silly creatures, and it was best to indulge them. So Winona sat and sniffed at little Buzziwings. The appearance was different, but then Buzziwings was a strange pony who’d been trying on different looks lately. Didn’t fool Winona, though. Winona was a good girl, and a smart one. She pointed her snout straight at her target and sat in front of it, waiting for the command to herd the girl closer to the rest or drive her away. Regardless, Winona expected a treat, even for such a simple task.
“T-that doesn’t prove anything, either. Winona’s caught the wrong scent, you washed that costume.”
Applejack arched an eyebrow. She and Apple Bloom exchanged glances. “How did you know our dog’s name is Winona?”
“L-Lord Nox-”
“Never heard me say that,” Applejack said. “I made sure she wasn’t anywhere near the bats because I didn’t want to risk anyone gettin’ bitten. That really is you, isn’t it, Scootaloo?”
Apple Bloom nodded. “I wasn’t a hundred percent sure until you came through the door. Winona always checks the scent of a new visitor, of a new pony in her herd. She checked Rumble, but she didn’t check you. Only reason she’d ignore you is if she already knew your scent. You may have changed a little, but your smell hasn’t, not to a dog, it wouldn’t. Like I said, you’re good, but you’re not perfect yet.”
Rumble let his head hang and groaned. “Okay, stop. No more arguing, please. You win, Apple Bloom. I should have known somepony would notice.”
Stella snapped her head around. “Rumble!”
“It’s okay, Scootaloo. You don’t have to lie to your friends anymore. You can drop your disguise now.”
Stella wrapped herself in green flame. When they cleared, sure enough, there was Scootaloo in all her changeling glory. Black skin, web-like hair, the works.
Winona panted happily at the girl, and kept darting her snout back and forth, as if to say “See? Told you. Now where’s my treat?”
“You lied to us?!” Sweetie Belle cried out. “How could you?”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry, Sweetie Belle, but I had to.”
“Because of your wings?” Apple Bloom asked.
Scootaloo plopped her rump down on the wooden floor, prompting the others to do the same. “Yeah. Like I said, I’ve been running out of pegasus magic lately, and I, umm, I’ve been getting sick. Twilight knew, and so did Rarity, but I made them promise not to tell. The truth is, I got another growth spurt, and now… promise you won’t freak out?”
Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle all nodded. Winona, not that familiar with pony language, presumed her treat would have to wait. But get it, she would.
Scootaloo wrapped herself in that green flame again to change shape. This time, when it cleared, her legs had turned slender, as had her belly. Her horn had grown and was going into a more angular curve, from the looks of it. That, along with a longer mane, reminded everyone of just one thing.
“You look like a changeling queen,” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah. You know how bees are born regular, but they get fed something that makes them queens? Turns out changelings have something kinda like that, too. If I want to grow up normal, or sort of normal, I need to have different kinds of love. I started getting hungry for, umm, the kind of vibe nobles get, I guess, it’s hard to explain. I never knew it, but ponies don’t feel the same way if you’re a boy or a girl, or if you’re normal or a noble. I had to at least get a little bit of all that so I’d know how to use it for my magic.”
Rumble bit his lip.
“I lied because I needed to feed, and-”
“Stop lying,” Rumble interrupted. He raised his head up to look Applejack in the eyes and gulped. “This wasn’t her fault. It was mine. She didn’t need to feed, not like that.”
All eyes fell on Rumble then. Scootaloo cringed. “Wait, you can’t-”
“Yes, I can. Scootaloo didn’t turn into Stella to cover her feeding. The feeding thing, she just had to, like, learn to chew on stuff, she could do that without hurting anypony after a few days. She would have been fine without this whole mess.”
“So that’s why Twilight had her chewin’ on energy balls instead of focusing on her horn,” Apple Bloom said. “I was wonderin’ about that.”
Rumble rolled his eyes. “Well, now you know. She didn’t do this for herself, she didn’t have to. She turned into Stella to cover for me,” the boy admitted.
Applejack quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean, ‘cover’ for you’?”
The boy sighed and looked up. “All rousette children have to be bound by wedlock, it’s tradition. And that includes me. My mom and dad are both rousettes.”
Applejack’s jaw went slack. “Oh. So those two I saw talking to Thunderlane?”
Rumble nodded. “My mom and dad. Our mom and dad. Me and Thunderlane are both one in a million. We were born with the wrong wings and the wrong magic. Kinda made things complicated.”
“You knew about this?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yup,” Scootaloo replied. “He told me after he found out about me. We agreed to keep it a secret.”
Rumble nodded. “We did, because we’re friends. And I want to be friends with you, too, so you should know, too. I was going to tell you in a few days, when everything had died down a little, I’m sorry. I had to get wedlocked to be allowed to hang out with girls, it’s bat tradition. That’s why Scootaloo turned into Truck, and that’s why she turned into Stella after that. If she hadn’t, I’d have had to wedlock a girl I didn’t know.”
Applejack heard all those conversations with Rin in her head again. “So… what would have happened if you’d made friends with a pony girl, and you weren’t wedlocked?”
Rumble bit his lip. “Shame on the family.”
Scootaloo nudged him. “He thought they were going to kick him out of the house.”
“But that’s awful!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “They can’t do that just because of how you were born.”
Applejack nodded. “That’s right. No parent should do that to a child. And if it ever gets to that, we’ve got a spare bed in the barn. It’s chilly, but it’s a bed.”
“I know, Applejack, thanks. Missus Mayor said there’s a bed ready for me in City Hall, and one in the library, too, if I ever need it. But I won’t. I know my family loves me now, even if I’m not like my brother. I… I finally got to talk it out, and they listened. I listened, and I understand now. Now I can hang out with whomever I want, and my parents don’t have to feel embarrassed about me doing it. I’ve got nothing to worry about anymore. Plus, ponies know about rousettes now, they’ve gotten a little closer together. They’ve started talking, for real. And that’s thanks to Scootaloo. Thanks to Stella.”
Scootaloo smiled.
Applejack winced. “Well, I guess that’s one way of bringin’ bat folk and pony folk closer together. Awful risky if you ask me, though.”
The changeling shrugged. “I couldn’t just leave him hanging. I have changeling powers, I should use them.”
“But why not tell us?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Didn’t you trust us with that?”
“It’s not about trusting you,” Rumble replied. “Or maybe it is. I just couldn’t risk you doing something on your own and getting Thunderlane’s attention. You’re always doing stuff like that.”
“We are not,” Apple Bloom retorted.
“Oh, yeah? So if you’d known, you wouldn’t have come up with some scheme to embarrass him?” Scootaloo asked.
“Me? Never.”
“Then what do you call this Clear Moon Night thing, huh?
Apple Bloom opened her mouth to retort, but found the actual retort caught halfway in her throat. “Okay, point taken.”
Rumble chuckled. “It’s okay, really. I’m sorry I had to pretend, really, I wasn’t gonna do that forever. I just didn’t want you to do any of that stuff while we were, you know… plus, a lot of rousettes can read emotions, you might have given it away. But now that it’s over, I do want you to know.”
“So what are you going to do now?” Sweetie Belle asked. “You did all that just so you could hang out with ponies?”
“I was already sort of allowed to hang out with ponies, but not girls. So, now that I am, I was kind of hoping maybe I could, maybe, possibly, hang out with you sometime?”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Wait, what? You mean you want to be a Cutie Mark Crusader?”
The boy nodded sheepishly. “If it’s not too awkward for you, yes. I’ve wanted to ask for a while now. You guys are always trying new things, and ponies know you. I’d like to be like you, if I could.”
Apple Bloom shook her head again to clear it. “Well, gosh, I never thought about that. I guess we could get another member, but, umm, we’re all girls, so it’d be more awkward for you than it is for us.”
“It wouldn’t have to be,” Sweetie Belle replied. “We do lots of stuff boys like to do, and some stuff girls like to do. He wouldn’t have to be around us all the time. Plus, we’ve still got Truck to even things out if we have to. We can get Chitter to do a race again. And it would be nice to have at least one full-time boy around if we want to do a play or something. Having a male lead does open up more storylines.”
“There is that, I suppose.”
“Besides, you were the one who invited Rumble for a sleepover with three girls and just him,” Sweetie added.
Applejack nodded towards Apple Bloom’s bed. “Yeah, speakin’ of which, it’s way past your bedtime, youngins. Come on, you can talk in the morning.”
The kids all crawled into Apple Bloom’s warm, soft, cozy bed. Scootaloo nestled up against Rumble, and the pair was sandwiched in between Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.
Applejack tucked them in and yawned. “And no funny business tonight, you hear?”
“I promise I’ll behave, Applejack,” Rumble said. “After all, I’m a responsible adult now.”
“I was talking to the girls,” Applejack replied. “I don’t want to see him wake up with make-up on his face or bows in his mane, and no pigtails, either, you hear?”
“We weren’t gonna prank him, Applejack.” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “‘Besides, his mane’s too short for pigtails. His tail might do, though.”
“What?” Rumble wriggled under the sheets, feeling oddly exposed.
“Right then, good night.” Applejack walked to the door and turned on the lights, before heading to her room for some much-needed shut-eye. A bark from Winona reminded her to get a treat first.
Sweetie Belle let off a happy sigh. “Don’t worry, Rumble, I’m sure you’ll have fun with us. You can help us out sometime. Maybe one of us can get their cutie mark doing boy things.”
“Maybe.” Rumble chuckled. “You never know.”
In the dark, Scootaloo stealthily wrapped her arms and legs around her new lifemate. She squeezed ever so gently with all four limbs, and rubbed along his sock-covered arms just like she could sense he liked. On a whim, she even nuzzled his neck, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Under the sheets, it was almost like she laid claim to him, just a subtle reminder, purely on instinct, that he was all hers now. He didn’t protest, and neither did the other two girls.
If anything, they took it as a hint to shuffle closer to add their friendly warmth to the loving one of the newly minted couple.
“So, are you two, ya know, in love, then?” Apple Bloom asked.
“No, of course not,” Scootaloo replied, squeezing her lifemate tighter.
“We just like keeping each other warm, that’s all. You gotta keep your muscles warm if you work them a lot.” Rumble wriggled with his wings, enough so even Apple Bloom could tell he was stroking Scootaloo’s sides.
“But you’re wedlocked,” Sweetie Belle said. “Your souls are tied now. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
Rumble yawned. “I don’t feel any different. Do you, Scootaloo?”
The changeling nuzzled his neck and found herself smiling in the dark, just being so close to her lifemate’s warm presence sent an electric tingle through their bodies. A completely non-magical, non-mushy electric tingle that most certainly had nothing to do with the rite they’d gone through that day, and nothing would persuade her otherwise. “Nope. Totally the same.”
Apple Bloom shuffled closer still and hugged her friend from behind. Sweetie Belle did the same with Rumble, completing the foal sandwich.
“You’re gonna fit right in with us, Rumble,” Sweetie Belle said. “Assuming you’re okay with hugs, of course.”
Rumble chuckled. “I am.”
Apple Bloom squeezed Scootaloo tighter. “And you don’t have to worry about doin’ things on your own like that anymore, Scootaloo. We got your back.”
“I know,” Scootaloo replied. “And I’ve got yours.”
Rumble dozed off just like that, surrounded by hugs from friendly girls, and one who was now his lifemate but, if asked, whom he totally did not have a crush on and, likewise, who certainly did not have a crush on him, and nothing would persuade him otherwise. Scootaloo held him close, and didn’t bother pushing Sweetie Belle away when she hugged him tightly, too. She could tell what kind of a hug it was, after all; warm and welcoming, not greedy and thieving after her rightfully earned prey.
Not that she really considered the boy prey, of course, but try telling that to magic-driven instincts. Scootaloo was content, and almost nodded off right after her lifemate.
“There’s just one thing I don’t understand,” Sweetie Belle said.
“What’s that?” Scootaloo let out a yawn.
“You were playing Stella and Truck. But I’ve seen you and Stella in the same room, you’ve talked to each other. How did you pull that off?”
Apple Bloom sighed. “Obviously she had help, Sweetie Belle.”
“What?”
“There were two ponies who could play Stella, there had to be,” Apple Bloom explained.
Sweetie Belle furrowed her brow. “Huh?”
“She’s right,” Scootaloo said, before wriggling to get comfy again. “I met the other Stella not too long after I changed. We, uh, we talked and we got the idea from there. That’s how I met Lord Nox.”
“Really? So who was she, then?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Apple Bloom wriggled closer to the pair. “Actually, that’s been buggin’ me a little, too. Who was the second Stella? Was it the real one?”
Lord Nox stretched out his limbs with a content sigh. The trip to the Western Plains had been quick, as always, but somewhat exhausting, given the timezone difference. Still, he only needed a few minutes alone with the leaders of the Zwelbast dragons to stop them from flattening another town in their wild party. A few more days and he’d have the matter sorted once more.
On a whim, Nox decided to pen down a letter for somepony dear to him.
“Dear Celestia,
I have learned a great lesson recently, and found a new joy in life. I’ve learned the joys of passing on my teachings to a willing, understanding, and, above all, noble apprentice. Scootaloo has exceeded my every expectation, and I am confident she is on her way to becoming a fine asset to the nation of Equestria, as well as a shining example to ponies and changelings everywhere. She has been instrumental in bringing the rousette community of Ponyville out of the shadows, with the help of her new consort, Rumble.
As for Rumble, his affairs are finally in order, and will require no further intrusion on our parts. The boy put on a splendid show, even without the benefit of changeling instincts. Not a single pony or rousette suspects our deception, except for some of your students, of course. Though, granted, Rumble managed to fool even them for quite a while.
Physically, I must say he is a fine specimen, too, by any standards. He hasn’t shown any signs of contaminated magic, nor of any muscle decay. I can’t say I’ve noticed it in any others, either. So I concede the point on our earlier argument: the curse on his ancestors has been bred out, quite thoroughly. I’m not entirely sure what to think of the things that have been bred in, though. He even gave me a run for my money in a race, would you believe that? Mind you, I was somewhat inconvenienced by the smaller wingspan, but still. I cannot say what Rumble’s future holds, but I know a strong alpha male when I see one, and that boy has all the makings of an exceptional alpha. Which is just as well, I suppose, considering the only ponies he can really connect with are girls. He’ll make a fine role model for other boys when he’s grown up, I’m sure.
Ponyville will have its hooves full with those two, especially when they are together. It’ll certainly spruce up our family reunions.
The stallion looked at the letter and furrowed his brow.
I expect to be back in a week, two at the most, depending on how rowdy the dragons are.
My regards to dear cousin Blueblood,
Luna.
Okay. Big conclusion. Let's see how far off my prediction was...
Not as much as I expected. My guesses were right; I just completely missed some twists. I suspected Scootaloo was metamorphosing into a queen. I thought that Apple Bloom suspected that Stella was Scootaloo, but I actually dismissed that. After all, Stella and Truck had raced one another! I certainly didn't expect the revelation about Lord Nox, but as "Luna Eclipsed" made clear, the Princess of the Night is a shapeshifter.
Fantastic work, Wise Cracker. It all tied together in the end, and I'm very happy with the ending. Thank you for it.
Oh, and I love Winona's name for Buzziwings.
6673788
You cannot imagine how relieved I am to read that. This has been one of the most fret-filled stories I've done so far, if not the most so. I'm currently working on the Flight Camp sequel, but probably going to try another quick oneshot before that. Probably based on a well-beloved episode, something popular, like Spike at Your Service . How does 'Rainbow Dash and the Shameless Self-Insert' sound?
And Buzziwings just made sense on several levels. If nothing else, I can always claim it's a reference to Filly's Battiwigs
wait...so Rumble got wedlocked to Scootaloo?
6673825
On paper? Heavens, no. He's wedlocked to this girl called Stella. But Stella's a future ambassador, you see, so she can't be around him all the time. But Stella approves of him hanging around ponies, really. Stella's very open-minded. She might show up for a day or two to remind everyone of that, if need be.
Practically? yes, the rite he performed was with Scootaloo. It was either that or, which was another thing that was cut, do what Celestia did for Blueblood: wedlock with an actual Princess in disguise. There was going to be a conversation between Rarity and Stella about how Rarity knew from reliable sources that Celestia had actually married her own cousin, which would have been an allusion to this. Again, cut for space reasons.
That was a great twist! I didn't suspect a thing, but it still feels like it works and is appropriate so I'd say the twist works very well! I knew that you didn't necessarily write a happy ending, so I wasn't expecting everything to be tied up so nicely, and I thought I knew Scootaloo's feeling about not being with Rumble, but apparently they were more about not being with Rumble openly and sympathy for him.
Scam of the century!
Why da fook it this in the foalcon group!? I mean kid shipping with some snuggling but come on!
Awaiting a sequel. ...what else do you expect to hear? Okay, I'll get myself to brainz out something - I think that in any potentional sequel I think we could see Nox'es thoughts abaut healed rousette magic and things bred in in form of rousettes returning to their cultural status of a pony, eather forced by Luna or anything else really. The other things I want to see the phisical evolution of Scootaloo. Futhermore I want her instincts to temporary change her into a love-hungry madpony. Like Chrysalis.
6684950
Well, it's in the Foalcon group, but again: I didn't put it there. It's also in the SFW section, so can't really complain.
No plans for any additional parts right now, but the closest I have is Rumble taking his new friends to some of the bat hangouts and a conflict with Chitter's wedlock partner revealing the full extent of the rite Thunderlane put Rumble through. Oh, and Chitter finding out about Truck's secret and confronting him about it. Not the secret you think, though.
6751189 It just looks wierd.
So the puryfying rite will do something! I think it will affect Scootaloo as it makes Rumble's magic more batty and bat magic was supposed to defend itself against 'lings. Also there is in the story moments that sugest that Scots really could be sick after Rumble drank the stuff.
...So it can be really any secret. I have two overall guesses: it's eather a fraction of Truck's deception(Truck is a 'ling, so Chitter will take advantage of that) or that "Truck" is into Rumble. The other possible secrets are that Truck is Scootaloo's relative or that he is an orphan (or anything really that revolves after Truck's life in Cloudsdale), but those are out of the question as you formulated the sentace sugesting the secret is something true.
6751258
I've mentioned this in Author's Notes, but:
-the rite purifies bat magic and basically turns the rousette into a Vampire, which in this canon would be a class of magic-user, modelled after the Vampires in the MMORPG Forsaken World. Vampires have three talent trees in that game: Blood, Darkness, Inferno. Sustain, debuffs and curses, and damage over time, basically.
The class itself is a tanky healer, and (I think?) the strongest burst healer in the game. Hence why in this canon it's a healing rite: it turns them into healers, while unlocking other modes of magic. So that would make Rumble capable of blood magic, but it would also give him the Vampire Mode thingie, which is kind of an iffy translation of it, but it basically boils down to a surge in power, like a bloodlust. It would become clear this has happened to Rumble when Chitter's partner (also a Vampire) challenges Rumble to a duel of honour. Rumble would be Blood specced, Chitter's partner would be Darkness specced. That's as far as I got with that concept.
-The main idea I had for Chitter confronting Truck about his secret is her giving this awkward but adorable speech about how it's okay that he's gay, but Rumble is still straight as far as she knows.
6752681 Never played Forsaken World but this sounds promising. I'm more of an rpg person without the mmo part. So we have a stalker versus a self-healer(surwiwalist?) - should be an intresting duel.
I was thinking the same. It will be glorious! XD
I could finally make time to read :up to date on this story, and it has ended.
Anyway...
At this last chapter, I was thinking that you where pulling the ending out of nowhere, but finally showing that there was a second shapeshifter indeed puts things in perspective, and shines a good light at your story.
Thanks so much for a good read.
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No worries. Glad you liked it, all in all, it was very much touch and go during the writing and editing process, so... yeah, really happy it didn't suck.
I've said this before, but it bears repeating: there will most likely be a bonus chapter coming up where Cheerilee finally meets Rumble's parents on one of the family outings they talked about. It's not on my New Year's resolutions, but I'll probably put it up before my next three Rumble fics, sort of as a promotion. I'll leave you to ponder where his parents could take him that wouldn't let ponies notice anything weird.
... so there I was: end of the story, last scene's starting; obviously the final reveal - the final piece of the puzzle that lets the major twist make sense. A little ways in, I figure it out. Oh you bastard⁽¹⁾, I thought, Nox is a changeling!
I never saw the main twist coming, which almost never happens to me, but I know what's going on, I see what y-
...
...
*twitch*
"WHAT THE- Oh you glorious bastard!!!"
Guess I didn't see that one coming either.
Praise for the
glorious bastardwonderful author who mooned me!⁽¹⁾ The more worked up I am, the more fun I'm having. Also the more worked up I get, the more I want to yell at whoever's getting me worked up. Ergo, I call writers names when I'm enjoying their stories.
It makes perfect sense.
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Glad you enjoyed it so. Twists like that are fun to write, and seeing the readers respond so heavily always brings a smile to my face.
Nice! Actually took me until the ceremony itself for me to figure out that Scootaloo was taking Stella's place, and even then I thought she was doing it without Rumble's knowledge, for some reason (I'm blaming it on being up too late), and that "the actual Stella" was in on it, with or without Lord Nox and Chitter's support. Also, the name really should have tipped me off, but Luna's involvement completely blindsided me. All in all, a very satisfying twist!
To chip in on the relevant controversy, I definitely fall on the side of not seeing anything wrong with wedlocking as it's described here. For me, the main thing separating a good arranged marriage from a problematic use of power is that all directly-involved participants (to open a whole new can of worms and widen the definition to polygamy) have the ability to dismiss any proposed relationship – though obviously ensuring the ages are appropriate for each other is only very slightly less important. In this case, Rumble and his parents have made it very clear that he has full discretion in saying "no" to any of the rousettes he wasn't interested in, and, even better, that he wouldn't even have to marry whoever he settled on initially. I do definitely like the engagement metaphor here, and in several ways it's even less binding than that. Even the push to enter into some wedlock doesn't seem too off-base, given the relatively low stakes, the prevalence of schoolyard crushes and close friendships (which seem to be the closest analogue to what the relationship is actually going to look like), and the magical protection it grants, especially considering the historic dangers alluded to.
As a brief tangent, there's a story I like to tell of a sophomore anthropology discussion section that, one week, focused on arranged marriages. I was one of the very few (out of around twenty students) to openly support them, and by far the most vocal. Then again, most of the time I use that, it's in reference to figuring out my asexuality and greyromanticism, so I might not be the best indicator of popular opinion on it.
Outside of that, I really enjoyed your worldbuilding. I hope you don't mind if I don't adopt most of it into my personal headcanon (a lot of what you've done with the rousettes and nearly all the changeling development is incompatible with what's already entrenched, though Vinyl and Octi taking care of Scootaloo seems to be sticking up there and I love your reading of Apple Bloom's desire for independent verification) but for the most part it makes sense internally and is revealed at a good pace, which I believe are some of the most important parts of good development.
If there was one thing that didn't sit well with me, it was the way some of the traditions were described as "well, there's good reasons for them, but only those in authority know them", way back in the first chapter. I know it's setting up for worldbuilding later on, but the rest of the paragraph is from Strife's perspective and she seems overly candid about her morality-over-"trivialities" perspective; it might be personal bias from not sharing than mindset, but I'd think ponies and people would tend to minimize their lack of understanding, whether through seeking knowledge or (in the other sense of the word) by not acknowledging it. Then again, there's precedent for it in some of the rituals of more centralized religions, so it just being something I can't wrap my own head around is looking rather likely.
Finally, sorry about the length, long-windedness, and general word choice here. As I mentioned, I'm up way too late; I usually forbid myself from writing anything starting several hours before now for this very reason, but I figured I'd probably forget some of what I wanted to talk about if I waited.
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Thanks for your thoughts, it's always nice to see that a fic like this got people thinking. Parts of this story ended up making me consider if I shouldn't just try and come up with original stories and salvage some of the worldbuilding. I ended up sort of doing just that last NaNoWriMo, so... big relief that the story does work. It was the source of a lot of worries.
Regarding your critiques: yeah, I can't really say they're unfair. There are a few instances that got over-edited, and the whole point of making the reader wonder what it is that makes traditions unacceptable or acceptable had to be weighed against giving enough explanation to be understood without automatically making it look okay, hence the mixed ignorance angle. There is also most definitely a grey morality to the wedlock thing, but because of how it's set up it only becomes apparent how messed up it can be in very rare cases.
And you are more than welcome to adopt or drop whichever parts of it you like, that's what it is there for.
If you want to write about how Blueblood got wedlocked to Celestia, for example, go right ahead.
moar
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Just the one bonus chapter coming. Not sure what else to do with it. Truth be told, a lot of the elements work better in an original fiction, I think. But sure, moar will arrive. Eventually.
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This was the story that made rousettes balanced. In the previous one, the basic look and feel of it all was 'These guys have all these traditions, and all these grudges, and that's terrible'. In this story, it's revealed/explained why they have all those traditions in the first place and whether they all hold tradition over honour. They don't; it's one of their defining inner conflicts. The primary reason for their major traditions being that rousettes weren't there for the unifying event of the pony tribes, so they didn't have the whole Harmony thing to protect them. I have pondered making a little oneshot involving Rin and Twilight doing an alternate version of meeting Starlight Glimmer (hint: Rin gets very dark, very quickly), but I'm not sure how to do that without getting too preachy. Bottom line is that their insistence on stealth also gives them their power, as does their reluctance to identify as ponies. In the above oneshot, there was a scene where Rin comforted the stallion in their jail cell, and noted that 'Equestria is a nation of ponies. All the sick minds, all the criminals, even Starlight Glimmer herself, are ponies.' Because rousettes have a glamour around them of being bats first and not ponies, it's easier for victims to feel at ease. But I never got around to adding that to this story, because it only brushes on rousette roles in Equestria.
Do the reasons make everything okay? No. But it does bring up the awkward question of what would happen if they decided to stop all those traditions altogether. Besides which, if you'll look into the rest of the plot, this culture exists within Equestria, not next to it. Rumble and Thunderlane attended pony school. The Night Guard serve and protect ponies, albeit covertly. Rumble and Chitter are both older than normal regarding their wedlock status, and so is Lady Stella. The rousettes don't have their own legal system, their practices are allowed by Equestrian law. And while there is mention of throwing a child out on the streets if they shamed their family, it's also stated repeatedly that in their culture, children are sacred. So it becomes a matter of individual interpretation.
You have to keep in mind, there is magic involved here. You have tradition for the sake of tradition and you have tradition with a purpose. This story was meant to showcase traditions with a purpose. Getting rid of a tradition in this setting would be stripping rousettes of some of their power. And if the princesses have tolerated it for as long as they have, it stands to reason it's a power they want to keep in their arsenal, just in case.
7320795 In the chapter I was commenting on, the narration took some pains to adopt a generalized rousette viewpoint by starting (and continuing) without any particular character as the voice:
And in that quote, some pretty sketchy attitudes are clearly on display, as though the story is trying to tell us that essentially all rousettes are content to accept dubious traditions with no basis except authority structure and a single bad episode of history thousands of years gone.
And that hypocritical tribalism and authoritarian anti-intellectualism are never really accounted for in any sound way. They're just an unthinking traditional society that got some things that sort of worked a long time ago and never considered changing anything after that. Nectarine's grudging willingness to accept more integration with Ponyville would be an admirable exception, but it's fairly clear that she's really mostly just bringing the local bats back into conformance with the wider race's habits.
The revelation at the end that the Princesses are really propping the whole thing up at least clears up how a traditional society can survive for long in the face of, well, pretty much any society that is actually self-aware and able to consider the reasons for its traditions. But that only comes at the cost of raising the question: why are they willing to accept the thoroughly disHarmonious bats' unchanging and obviously problematic ways as is, without trying to improve them? The implication is that those are the best available. That's incredible. As in, I don't believe it. Celestia "let's reform Discord" can't or won't do anything about the curse that makes the bats stand off from (other) ponies? Luna "personally spend days shapeshifted to help some random pair of foals get out of their ugly situation" can't or won't do anything to reduce the weirdly controlling traditions that have no essential connection to the actual magic that's supposedly the reason they're worth sticking with?
And, I suppose, I just don't really get the idea that this tribe, of all of them, is the best at dealing with Windigos. They're the only tribalists left! They still have the problem the Fire of Friendship solved.
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Well, most of it was left ambiguous for the reader to think about, seeing as a lot of actual real-world traditions are kept intact and even defended by law despite being barbaric and serving no actual purpose. The curse the bats suffered happened ages ago, and while its effects are long gone, the bats do still remember the suffering it caused. That's the story. No bat ever mentions still being cursed today, except maybe by the enemies they can run into on the job. Celestia wanted to reform Discord to 'Get him to use his powers for good, of his own free will.' So... I don't see your point. She wanted his powers in her arsenal. Why would the bats be any different? But Luna doesn't have any excuse, no, you're right about that. She's had a whole thousand years of living among the bats, she should have tried to make some changes as soon as she could.
As for the Fire of Friendship 'solving' the problem of Windigos, let me ask you this: how many Windigos were vanished by that initial flame, and who have we seen using that weapon since? And keep in mind, this was written before Season 6, might have been before I saw Season 5, I'm not sure. If the Fire of Friendship was something that ponies could use at will, they'd have been able to use it in modern times. They never did, instead having to rely on artifacts from the Everfree Forest that could only be triggered by a select few heroes who lacked any military experience (except maybe Rainbow Dash, sort of). Contrast that with a civilisation who survived the dark ages alone, developed their own firepower to match harmony, and who repeatedly and reliably produces individuals that can use it. Remember, according to canon, ponies went through a thousand years without the Elements of Harmony, without a Crystal Heart (which, incidentally, was powered by the Magic of Nationalism), and with only one immortal princess. Even if the worst thing that popped up in that time was Starlight Glimmer-calibre unicorns, that's a pretty rough gig. In this story's canon, the rousettes and their traditions were crucial in ponies surviving that long.
Oh, and regarding the Hearth's Warming Eve plays, isn't the Fire of Friendship always presented as being little more than three underlings sympathising with each other over how much they hated their bosses? Any non-pony can easily find objections to pony culture, at a glance.
Also, I'm pretty sure Rin mentions things being worse in earlier times when she's talking to Rarity. The bit where she brings up the notion that young bats can also turn out to be gay, making wedlock more of an unofficial thing than a requirement to marriage. And no connection to their magic? Pretty sure it's outright stated that it's connected to their magic. Maybe it's a cultural difference; I have several different magic systems I use in fiction. The bats have a gnostic system of magic, which is a reference to the concept of gnosis in chaotism: the magic requires a certain frame of mind to work. Like how firebending was linked to anger for so many in Avatar, or the question if Discord went mad with power or if the madness gave him his power. There's a DC villain called the Time Commander whose powers revolve around the fact that his mind doesn't work the same as everyone else's. He had a proxy in Batman once, the guy who could turn back time for ten seconds or so, made it look as if he could predict everyone's moves. At its core, though, his power was a form of insanity, or a state of mind. It's not an uncommon mechanic for magic to work like that.
So... yeah, if you want to hate rousettes for that, fine, you're not supposed to sympathise with everything they do. They are very much a grey area with their culture. But it is a grey area, not decidedly one way or another. The whole point of them was to make the reader think about whether or not a tradition with an actual purpose and quantifiable advantage is worth the moral ambiguity it might bring, as opposed to some traditions that exist today for no real purpose, are considered morally wrong in the Western world, and have quantifiable negative consequences, yet are condoned by law. Guess I'll take those remarks as a win, then
I'm so confused by the last part
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One of the challenges in writing a story where a shapeshifter impersonates someone, or any story with secret identities, is that you can end up giving away the switcheroo too early, simply because two characters are never in the same room. The way you fix that is with a third character, who can impersonate one of the two.
In this case that third party was Princess Luna, who takes on the role of Nox, and also impersonates Stella so she can race Truck. This further adds some closure by giving Scootaloo an implied future profession/role despite her special circumstances.