Life in the Fast Lane

by TheAmazingMe

Somewhere Only We Know

I opened the door, preparing to scold Bruiser for forgetting his key again, but it was Paisley Ember and Jelly Jogger instead. It had been some time since I'd seen them, given how the trial against Masquerade went smoothly. Their sudden appearance at my doorstep had me resigned to another day of waiting around a courthouse. With a sigh, I ushered them into the family room.

"Good to see you both, how can I help you?" I began.

The pair exchanged a look and then Paisley turned to me. "Mr. Story, we're here about a missing pony case. It's a mare you're familiar with, Genuine Article."

My eyebrows shot up. "Genuine is missing?"

Jelly nodded. "Her assistant said she hasn't shown up or made any contact in the last five days."

"She mentioned she was moving, when I saw her last." I said.

"Mr. Story, I'm going to need to know as much as possible about your last conversation." Paisley said, retrieving a pen and notepad.

"Well, I remember arguing with her about letting her in. I relented and we sat in the dining room. She mentioned that somepony paid her to send the book to me, but she wouldn't say who. I figured she was either full of it or personally involved with whoever paid for the book." Jelly and Paisley exchanged another look. "What's going on?" I asked.

Paisley sighed. "We've not been entirely honest with you. While we do patrol occasionally, we've also been assigned to the organized crime squad."

I tilted my head. "There's organized crime in Canterlot. That always seemed more like a Las Pegasus problem."

"It's mostly small, there are only a few families involved and they limit their illegal activities to keep out of sight. A lot of the trouble began with the influx of wealthy Bitalian families a few years ago. You might even know the names, given your husband's adoptive family." Paisley said.

"Progetta's family are all fashion designers, not some sort of mafia." I protested.

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant families like the Delmaneco's." Paisley clarified.

I leaned back against my chair. "Delmaneco? As in, Erede Delmaneco?"

"His father, Patrimonio, was implicated in a few business deals of questionable legality. Intimidation to keep competitors away from his area, both on a restaurant and organized crime level."

I looked down at my hooves. Biting my lip, I wondered what this would mean for Genuine. She'd definitely tried warning me about the dangers I'd face for even being seen with her. Then there was Vinny and Masquerade after that.

"Mr. Story. If there is anything you haven't told us, please let us know. Genuine's life might be at stake." Jelly prompted.

I looked back up into the combined weight of their stares. Genuine would never forgive me, but maybe she'd be alive to hate me. "Genuine Article is not her real name. She was born in Neigh Orleans to a restaurant-owning family. Her real name is Raconteur."

"When did she change her name?" Paisley asked.

"Shortly after she moved to Canterlot. It was her...stage name."

"I appreciate the extra knowledge, but how does this help our case?" Jelly asked.

I looked at him directly. "She went to school here with a fake name. How do you think she came by the means to change her identity without a trace?"

Paisley's eyes lit up instantly. "Delmaneco."

I nodded. "She worked as a waitress for Delmaneco's. Patri helped her change her identity. Now it's his son in charge of the family business. Both family businesses, I'd assume."

"It's speculation, but given his connections, he might have contacted Vinny and brought him and his goons into the city. He also would have the means to hire Masquerade." I said.

I heard the front door open and close, immediately followed by the sound of a heavy duffel bag hitting the floor. Div walked in, still clad in his PLHG armor. "Life, who attacked you this time?"

I rolled my eyes. "For once, nopony. Genuine's gone missing."

He snorted with contempt, then looked at our guests. Swallowing whatever he was about to say, Div's face colored a bit as he nodded. "Oh. I see."

"You wouldn't happen to know anything else about Genuine?" Jelly asked.

Div laughed. "Thankfully, no. I've been on a diplomatic mission with Princess Luna's House Guards for the last week."

"Where did you go?" Paisley asked.

"I'm afraid that's need-to-know. Feel free to ask my lieutenant. You can't miss him; he's the one who looks like he has no sense of humor."

Paisley laughed. "I've seen Lieutenant Knight once. He doesn't look like he has a sense of humor."

Div's ears flattened against his head. "Looks can be deceiving. Anyway, if you're looking for Genuine, good luck. If she doesn't want to be found, she probably won't be."

Paisley and Jelly stood. "We're more worried for her safety, given the nature of her former employer." Paisley commented.

"She finally get busted for the stuff she pulled at the auction house?" Div guessed.

"Auction house?" Jelly asked.

I nodded, thankful for Div for the reminder. "She worked for an auction house in Canterlot as an appraiser. A few high-priced fakes were certified by her to help a friend. Probably Delmaneco."

"Delmaneco?" Div asked.

"It seems the restaurant isn't the only business that family is in." I said, quirking a brow meaningfully.

Div's eyes widened as it dawned on him. "They're a crime family?"

I tapped my nose. Div whistled lowly.

"If you remember anything else, please let us know. We've got a good basis here to ask some more questions of Vinny and Masquerade. They might finally cough up the name of their employer." Paisley said with a smile.

"I hope you find Genuine." I said as I escorted them out. After exchanging goodbyes, I closed the door and turned back to Div, who'd gotten halfway out of his armor. With a snort, I ignited my horn and helped him out of the rest of it before setting it aside on the stand in the living room.

Div sat at the bar area of the kitchen and looked at me with his head propped up on one hoof. Ignoring him, I turned to check the fridge and see if the vegetables I'd gotten earlier were still fresh enough to eat. When I turned back with broccoli and cheese, Div raised his eyebrows.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

Div crossed his forelimbs and locked his eyes on mine. "Don't blame yourself for her disappearing. It could very well be that she left without a trace to throw off the Delmaneco's as much as anything else."

"She tried to warn us, Div. Now we could very well be the targets of a killer mafia family." I pointed out.

Div shrugged. "We've survived it so far."

"Yeah, after nearly being killed by a manticore, taking a big fall during a bridge collapse, getting attacked by Manehatten thugs, and getting attacked here at home by a contracted assassin." I declared, setting the ingredients done none too gently.

"We'll get through this, Life. We always do." Div said casually.

"Except when we almost don't. I've been to the hospital enough. I don't want to see my family get hurt." My eyes misted over as I looked down at the abused broccoli.

Stepping around the counter, Div embraced me. "You know what would make you feel better? I have some leave time coming and, last time I checked, we still had quite a good amount tucked away..." He trailed off teasingly.

I wiped my eyes with a hoof. "Are you thinking about a honeymoon?"

"Whenever you want to go, love. Wherever you want to go." He said, smiling.

"Where are we going?" Bruiser asked. I hadn't even heard the normally loud foal come in.

"Your father and I are going to take a honeymoon trip, finally." I announced.

Bruiser made a sour face. "You mean you're going on some huggy-kissy vacation? Blech."

"I'll remember that when you get married, my little stallion." Div teased, poking Bruiser's nose.

Pushing Div's hoof away, Bruiser looked at me. "So, what are you gonna do with me?"

I looked at Div. His mischievous grin set off my own. Looking back at Bruiser, I took on a bored expression and sniffed. "Hm, I don't know. Think we should pack him up in a bag and take him with us?"

Div's grin widened as Bruiser shot a glare at us. "There's an idea! Let's see if he fits in your big suitcase from your writing trip." Bruiser didn't stand a chance as Div darted around the island on one side and I came around the other way. Between us, we managed to grab hold of the colt with a fair amount of tickling. Bruiser squirmed and laughed as I settled him on Div's back with my magic and we trotted upstairs.

"Dad! Your magic is tickling me still!" Bruiser said through peals of laughter as we entered the master bedroom.

Retrieving my suitcase, I turned up the tickling. Bruiser's gales of giggles intensified and we actually wiggled off of Div's back. Thankfully, he landed on our bed. I set the suitcase next to him and jumped on the bed. Div joined me on the other side. As we raised our hooves to pounce on the foal once again, we were caught.

Mom and Dad stood in the doorway, wearing the two biggest grins I'd ever seen. Their horns glowed with magic as they pushed Div and I back to a seated position against the headboard. "Now, what do we have here?" Mom asked. Her light gold magic held me immobile.

"Looks like two overgrown colts were giving our grandson a hard time." Dad answered, his silvery glow concentrated around Div.

Suddenly free, Bruiser looked from my parents back to us. When his eyes met mine, I knew our trouble had only started. "Mom, we were just playing."

"Yeah, dad." Div whined, playing the part of the colt caught red-hoofed. "We weren't really going to lock him in the suitcase."

"Suitcase!" Lovely Story said in mock indignation. "You were going to put Bruiser in a suitcase?"

"No!" We protested together.

"Yes they were!" Bruiser replied, his grin growing by the minute.

"Mom, dad, let us explain--" I was cut off by a powerful tickling sensation. By the tumult on the bed next to me, dad had done the same to Div.

"Mom!" I protested through fits of laughter. They let up on us, but held us still. As we wheezed to a

"Get 'em Bru!" Dad ordered. Bruiser immediately had a forehoof in our ribs, tickling us with great gusto.

Comments

[Skarsnik]

Sweet Sweet revenge for bru.

Poor Genuine :(

[Grekoy]

Go Bru! Tickle him like no tomorrow.