• Published 12th Dec 2015
  • 1,018 Views, 14 Comments

Home Alone with Sweetiebelle. - No One and Nobody

When everypony is invited to the Crystal Empire for Hearthswarming eve, how long will it take for them to realize that they are missing a certain blankflank? Set pre-Crusaders of the Lost Mark.

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Chapter 7

Chapter 7: To Grill a Burglar.

"Alright Marv, this is the one. No screw-ups this time."

"Got it."

"No, I don't think ya do," said Harry, grabbing Marv's ear and pointing at the castle, "If you said Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie anywhere in Equestria, almost nopony will think twice about it. You say 'Twilight Sparkle' and everypony listens. If we say, 'We robbed Princess Twilight Sparkle' ponies will listen and respect us. Mares will finally like us. And our parents might start telling everypony they're related to us again!"

Both Harry and Marv's eyes lit up with the thought of it.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Marv said, trotting forward giddily.

Harry grabbed his tail.

"The grappling hook Marv, that's what. I'm not taking any chance of going through the front door and through that filly's little house of horror. This time, we enter from the top, we leave from the top. She'll never expect us to come in through the skylight."

Marv nodded and passed the Harry the grappling hook.

With a few deft swings, Harry swung the grappling hook and attached it to the top of the castle.

Slowly, he and Marv began to scale the behemoth structure.

When they got to about halfway up the building, Sweetiebelle popped her head out of a window.

"Hiya," she said, waving her hoof, "But seriously though. The skylight? How predictable."

She rolled her eyes.

"We'll see about that," said Harry, attempting to get the filly. But much to Harry's dismay, the open window was just out of hooves length.

Sweetiebelle shook her head.

"Tsk, tsk. You know, this is starting to get boring."

She pulled out a pair of clipping shears and snipped the rope.

"Oh-" began Harry, but gravity ripped the words from his mouth as he and Marv plummeted.

"You really should be more careful!" hollered Sweetiebelle, before closing the window and moving on to her next trap.

Harry and Marv stood up and dusted themselves off.

"Come on Marv," shouted Harry, hugging the tree and trying to shimmy up.

"I say we just use the door Harry."

"That's just what she wants, the little devil! Let's go!"

Marv tapped Harry's shoulder but Harry persisted in trying to climb the crystal tree.


"Shut up you wimp. I'll get up their if I have to die in the attempt!"

"I know but why not-"

"Oh what would you know? You've been wanting to give up since we started! Well not me, I'll-"

"Why don't we just use the hot air balloon?" Marv shouted.

"Oh..." said Harry, when he turned to notice the balloon sitting not two-hundred yards away, "well why didn't you just say so Marv? Come on."

Harry and Marv clambered into the balloon and slowly began to float up.

They were doing just fine until they heard a noise.


"What was that?" asked Marv, shaking.

"I'll bet it was another trap!" Harry yelled.

And he was indeed, correct.

They looked to see Sweetiebelle, shooting rocks from a slingshot at the balloon, punching small holes in the fabric.

"It's now or never Marv!" yelled Harry, grabbing his accomplice and jumping out of the balloon.

They landed on the skylight, broke a hole in it and went tumbling through.

Harry was the first one up and Marv followed soon after.

They looked around.

They were inside Twilight's castle, standing in some long hallway.

"Which way?" asked a slightly dazed Marv.

Harry called upon the mystical powers of the 'eenie-meenie-minie-moe' gods and chose the left.

They swung open some doors and entered Twilight's vast library.

"Awwww," said Marv, "It's just books."

"But their Princess's books Marv," Harry said, as he stared at the goldmine before him, "Do you know how much these are probably worth? Come on, grab as many as you can and let's get out of here."

Harry and Marv attacked to bookshelves with a newfound vigor.

They plucked tome after tome from the shelves and shoved them into their saddlebags.

"I wonder what this one's about?" pondered Marv, opening a copy of The Apples of Wrath.

An apple shot from the book and plastered Marv in the face.

"What in the hoof's wrong with that book?" asked Harry when he saw what happened.

"'Phtooey' I don't know. Try yours."

Harry opened a copy of To Roast a Pigeon and a tongue of fire shot in his face, burning his face again, right after it had just begun to heal.

More books fell off the shelves and opened up.

Suddenly there was chaos in Twilight's library and unrelated things attacked the two ponies.

"Thanks," said Sweetiebelle, turning to Discord, "You gonna stick around?"

"Are you kidding?" he asked, "They don't have a chance. I'm gonna sit back and watch. But first, I need to use the little stallion's room."

Discord paused the movie, got up and left the theater.

After a moment or two, he came back in with a tub of popcorn and a remote.

He turned the volume up and pressed, 'play'.

Sweetiebelle looked around in bewilderment.

"Where'd he go?"

She shrugged and moved on to her next trap.

Harry and Marv had slowly closed all the books and returned them to the shelves out of fear.

"Let's go somewhere else," said Harry,

They crept down the hall and entered the throne room.

They stared for a moment at the seven thrones and the map until Harry snapped back to the job at hoof.

"Alright Marv, why don't we get some of the crystals from that fancy chandelier? I betcha they'll go for even more than those books."

Harry boosted Marv onto his shoulders so he could reach the crystals.


Marv was quickly knocked to the ground though.

"Marv, what happened?" asked a clueless Harry.

"Sweetie-" started Marv.

Harry turned around to see Sweetiebelle dropping a paint can on a string towards him.


"-Belle," he finished as the world went black.

Harry and Marv slowly awoke to see Sweetiebelle standing over them.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked.

"NO!" screamed Harry, jumping up and grabbing her, "Now that I've got my hooves on you, I'm gonna do all the horrible stuff you did to Marv and me."

"I," corrected Sweetiebelle, "Look, I just figured that once I had you thoroughly beat up, you'd listen. I wanted to ask you why you're doing this."

Marv and Harry glared at her.

"What kind of stupid, idio-"

"Language," Sweetiebelle interrupted.

"I haven't said anything dirty!"

"No, but you were thinking it."

"AHHHH! We're doing this because you're a jerk!"

"No, I meant, why are you breaking into places."

"Because that's all we know how to do!" shouted Harry, "Didn't you see our cutie marks?!?!"

"Well it seems to me you might be interpreting them wrong."

"Well what are you gonna do?" asked Harry, "Have somepony sneak up and hit us over the head with a shovel?"

Discord looked at the two ponies and dropped the shovel he was holding.

He walked back to his seat and continued watching.

Harry and Marv turned around and stared at the shovel lying on the ground.

"How did that get there?" asked Marv.

"I don't think I wanna know."

"Now can we talk?"

Sweetiebelle looked into Harry's eyes with a look that could have made a crocodile cry.

"'Groan' Okay."

Harry, Marv and Sweetiebelle sat down.

Harry jumped up and screamed.

"What the?"

"Oh sorry," said Sweetiebelle, sweeping up some legos on the ground, "They were a contingency trap in case you didn't listen."

Harry rubbed his rump and said, "Well, do tell how we've misinterpreted our life callings."

"Well," said Sweetiebelle, "I've been observing you since you began breaking into homes and you both have certain... Talents."

She pointed to Harry.

"You my friend, seem to be quite the planner. And you," she pointed to Marv, "Have quite a hoof in... Demolition. Maybe building too, if you put your mind to it."

"Well how can we be sure?" asked Harry.

"I'll tell ya what," said Sweetiebelle, "I'll help you prove it to yourselves while you help me clean up all the mess we created. Deal?"

Harry and Marv looked at each other.

Over the past couple of days, they had been beaten, burnt and bruised. They were willing to do almost anything at this point to end the suffering.

"Deal," they said in unison.

"Good," said Sweetiebelle, "Now first we'll need some blueprints and plans about how and what to clean up. Next, we'll need to actually execute them."

Things were finally coming together.

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