• Published 12th Dec 2015
  • 1,017 Views, 14 Comments

Home Alone with Sweetiebelle. - No One and Nobody

When everypony is invited to the Crystal Empire for Hearthswarming eve, how long will it take for them to realize that they are missing a certain blankflank? Set pre-Crusaders of the Lost Mark.

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Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Apples, Apples, Everywhere!

Harry and Marv marched up to the Apple Family Homestead with gleaming eyes and bandages covering half of them.

"A-a-a-a-are you s-s-sure we won't get beat up again Harry?" stuttered Marv.

"Nah," said Harry, "We know what ta look for now. And how clever can a little filly be?"

"Well those other traps were pretty clever-" started Marv.

"Shut up Marv," Harry said, "That was a one time deal. This is a whole new game and we hold the trump card."

"That sounds like a great idea," said Marv, "Why don't we just go home and play some cards?"

"No way Marv! We started this job and we're gonna finish it! If we don't, we'll be the laughing stock of the whole crime world! Can you imagine? Two crooks that can't even take down a little filly? No, no, this is about more than the score now, we have a reputation to protect! Now get going!"

"ME!" screeched Marv, "No way, I went first last time. You go first this time!"

Harry rolled his eyes and growled.

"Fine Marv, I'll go to the front door and you take the back. That way we'll cover all our bases."

"What do I do if I see the filly?"

"Invite her to tea," said Harry, sarcasm dripping from his mouth. He rapped Marv on the forehead with his good hoof and said, "You can take care of a little filly Marv! So take care of her!"

"You mean like foalsitting?" Marv asked with a nostalgic look on his muzzle, "I haven't foalsitted since that one time I looked after my sister. Yeah, my mom and dad never really forgave me for that."

Harry rolled his eyes again and slapped Marv on the rear.

"Get going!"

Marv crept around the side of the house and approached the back door.

"Hello?" he whispered.

"What do you want?" asked a gruff stallion's voice.

Marv was about to answer when another stallion answered.

"I did the job."



"Was there something else?"

"Yeah, AC said there'd be bits in this job."

"Oh really, well how much do I owe ya?"

"One hundred grand."

Marv swallowed.

That was more than an average pony made in a year.

"Well I'm sorry ta tell ya this, but AC ain't in charge anymore. He's down at the docks takin a little swim."

Marv's eyes bugged out.

These were real gangsters he was hearing. Only gangster ponies would think so lowly of murder.

"Now listen here Snake, you got till the count of ten to get'cha lazy, no-good carcass outta here or I'll fill you full a laser blasts."

Marv swallowed hard and started backing up.

"One... Two... Ten!"

Loud noises and shafts of light shot around the room, lighting up the drapes.

Marv screamed and ran.

Sweetiebelle smiled and laughed.

A package of firecrackers sizzled at her hooves and a record player sat beside her playing Big Mac's favorite audio drama/adventure, Alicorns without souls.

"Keep the change ya lousy bum," Sweetie mouthed along with the record.

"HARRY!!!" screamed Marv, leaping into Harry's hooves, "There were gangsters and laser shots and, and, and..."

Marv's voice trailed off into scared babble.

She may have scared Marv, thought Harry, but she won't scare me.

Harry dropped Marv and shushed him, then turned to the front door.

Carefully maneuvering around the strategically placed black ice, he made his way to the front door.

Harry examined the doorknob.

He'd underestimated this filly once before and the memory of it throbbed in his hoof.

He dropped a hoof-full of snow on the doorknob, which started to steam when it landed on the knob.

"You can't fool me twice Sweetiebelle," shouted Harry, "That's right, I know your name and you know what else? I'm coming for you."

Inside the house Sweetie smiled.

The best way to get the advantage on an opponent is to make them think they've figured you out, thought Sweetiebelle, quoting in her mind what Twilight had told her about how to beat a villain, That's when they tend to get sloppy.

Harry pushed the door open and waited for the tongue of fire to shoot out.

It didn't.

"Don't have a anymore phoenixes, do ya?!?!" hollered Harry.

"Nope," said Sweetiebelle, stepping out from behind a corner.

"Good thing you gave yourself up," said Harry, "Now just come over here so I can-"

"No, no phoenixes," interrupted Sweetiebelle, "Just this."

She stepped aside.

Rainbow Dash's tennis ball machine sat behind her, filled to the brim with apples.

With a cute smile, Sweetie flicked the switch to the 'on' position.

"Oh Celestia-" started Harry, but didn't finish.

The machine started to fire apples at an insane rate. Rainbow had asked Twilight to adjust the power to, 'more her speed... like supersonic', so that's why apples shot out with barely any delay.

Harry found himself beat back out the door onto the black ice Sweetiebelle had left for him.

Harry flew into the air and landed on his back with a low thud.

"Razafrazafrigglemanetickphhbt," said Harry, spitting apples out of his mouth.

"Tsk, tsk," said Sweetiebelle, "such language. You really should watch your mouth around such young fillies."

Then, with an innocent smile, she slammed the door shut.

Harry, his legs shaking with unsteadiness and anger, clambered up and off the slick pavement.

Marv giggled at the sight of his friend.

Harry shot a silencing look at Marv.

"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... And that's when things start ta get ugly."

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