On the eve of the wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadence, a young pegasus struggling with his identity meets the changeling who has been exploiting his pain.
I've had serious reservations about publishing this story, because it's been years since I have written anything, and even longer since I have written anything WELL. And even stronger reservations since this story takes place within the authorial universe of a close friend. That being said, I'm not going to get any better keeping my words to myself!
That is a real shame because you had my attention with this story but maybe in the future it will come back which is why I will be making a comment on it anyways!
The guard shook his head again. "No, my queen, not a one. And not a whisper across the Commonality. Your other Infiltrators remain well hidden from the population at large, and from each other so far as I can tell."
Heh, Guards~ They are all so obidiant too their Queens, Princesses, and Princes! Keep up the good work guard but I trust you, don't break that trust man.
She didn't need to finish her statement, Rasp knew where this ended. If he were to become a princess of the hive, he would breed, and his offspring would be as he was, and they would all die because of it.
That right there would give me enough reason to abandon this all, I could not follow under a rule that is so harsh, really is death worth anything?
Shame and humiliation lead to anger,
Words to live by! Great first chapter and wish this story was still going because it would be something I would read too the end. So I will read the remaining chapters and go from there. Very well done!
That is a real shame because you had my attention with this story but maybe in the future it will come back which is why I will be making a comment on it anyways!
Heh, Guards~ They are all so obidiant too their Queens, Princesses, and Princes! Keep up the good work guard but I trust you, don't break that trust man.
That right there would give me enough reason to abandon this all, I could not follow under a rule that is so harsh, really is death worth anything?
Words to live by! Great first chapter and wish this story was still going because it would be something I would read too the end. So I will read the remaining chapters and go from there. Very well done!