It's like one of those things that you shouldn't share at but can't look away. Like a fetish section from the twilight zone. Heh, "Twilight Zone", there's a name for a fic.
She was fairly skinny, as most active pegasi were.
What we really should be doing is working together.
"Yup!" Lemon cheered. "Graduated in animal sciences from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns!"
The temperature in the trailer seemed to suddenly drop a few degrees. Was it her imagination, or was the boss pony glaring at her now? Whatever it was, it seemed to pass as soon as it had happened.
Seems like Vanilla had always wanted to join the school but never did or some some strong feelings.
While I do like this story even after these events, I feel it peaked after AJ and Berry became friends and I'd have loved to just see what they were doing slice of life style and maybe see how things develop without a direct antagonist, actually I would have liked the conflict been about how Applejack has to resolve being the Element of Honesty with hiding this from her friends with the big climax being when Rainbow finds out and confronts AJ about it even asking the same question raised by Aj to Berry that turns into the main plot of this conflict, RD saying something like "What did you think I was going to hound you for eternity or kidnap you to use as a personal Cider still?!" and AJ has to nervously admit that yes, she was afraid that RD's cider obsession would lead that way (element of loyalty ect ect). The introduction of Taps and obvious things I missed the first time around just feels.... forced. My other problem is the Twilicorn and crystal abomination house instead of Twilight and the library but I shant dwell on that.
I still like this story but I feel it does start to get less interesting once Ms. Vanilla and the other OCs show up, maybe they other drinkmare OCs could have been worked into expand the lore of your world without Taps but they aren't my characters so I wouldn't know.
Let’s see… 1 ‘cider’ before Vodka arrived on the scene, 2 more after she arrived, 4 more after the press and 2 more after Jack noticed what had occurred. Quite a lot of swelling going on there.
Funnies aside, I’m having a hard time coming up with anything that would qualify as “dirt” on Jack. Granny perhaps but anyone who would know it is likely long dead. Her sister is still a child so most anything she has done will be brushed off as kids being kids. Big Mac… hm. I just don’t see there being much if any at all. As for Jack herself the easiest way to deal with blackmail is to step up and own it. It might have repercussions for doing so but they tend to be far and away better than being blackmailed or having it brought out on someone else’s terms.
It's like one of those things that you shouldn't share at but can't look away. Like a fetish section from the twilight zone. Heh, "Twilight Zone", there's a name for a fic.
>pegusai
-pegasi
Uh-oh, now every pony is gonna be lactating something
Ugh I'm sorry I was enjoying it till this chapter this feels shoehorned in. The story was doing fine with out this forced and obvious plot device.
Seems like Vanilla had always wanted to join the school but never did or some some strong feelings.
While I do like this story even after these events, I feel it peaked after AJ and Berry became friends and I'd have loved to just see what they were doing slice of life style and maybe see how things develop without a direct antagonist, actually I would have liked the conflict been about how Applejack has to resolve being the Element of Honesty with hiding this from her friends with the big climax being when Rainbow finds out and confronts AJ about it even asking the same question raised by Aj to Berry that turns into the main plot of this conflict, RD saying something like "What did you think I was going to hound you for eternity or kidnap you to use as a personal Cider still?!" and AJ has to nervously admit that yes, she was afraid that RD's cider obsession would lead that way (element of loyalty ect ect). The introduction of Taps and obvious things I missed the first time around just feels.... forced. My other problem is the Twilicorn and crystal abomination house instead of Twilight and the library but I shant dwell on that.
I still like this story but I feel it does start to get less interesting once Ms. Vanilla and the other OCs show up, maybe they other drinkmare OCs could have been worked into expand the lore of your world without Taps but they aren't my characters so I wouldn't know.
Let’s see… 1 ‘cider’ before Vodka arrived on the scene, 2 more after she arrived, 4 more after the press and 2 more after Jack noticed what had occurred. Quite a lot of swelling going on there.
Funnies aside, I’m having a hard time coming up with anything that would qualify as “dirt” on Jack. Granny perhaps but anyone who would know it is likely long dead. Her sister is still a child so most anything she has done will be brushed off as kids being kids. Big Mac… hm. I just don’t see there being much if any at all. As for Jack herself the easiest way to deal with blackmail is to step up and own it. It might have repercussions for doing so but they tend to be far and away better than being blackmailed or having it brought out on someone else’s terms.