Red Dead ReDerption

by CompleteChaos21

Chapter 4: Outlaws Don't Like Music

Chapter 4:

Joan trotted into the Doctor’s office; he was standing behind his counter messing with the sonic screwdriver. “Now work you confounded thing.” The Doctor continued to mess around and jiggle little bits of the SS. It then went, BEEP, and little lights began to flicker and flash. The doctor exclaimed his victory and then noticed Joan standing by the door smirking at him. “Uh, oh um, Joan this is perfect timing indeed! Come with me hurry, HURRY!” He grabbed the SS and ran into the back room and Joan followed suit. “Now Joan, can you feel your left wing at all?” The Doctor asked Joan who was now laying on one of the patient beds.

Joan’s right wing extended out, but her left wing didn’t even move. “That would be a no.”

“This is going to hurt.” The Doctor quickly grabbed Joan’s left wing and extended it full. Derpston clenched her teeth, the pain tearing into her mind and soul. Her eyes held tightly shut as she held back the urge to scream and punch the doctor in the face. She felt her wing go cold and the pain stopped but the left side of her body felt frozen solid. What had the Doctor done? “Right now! Joan you can open your eyes.” Joan opened her eyes and the Doctor was standing in front of her smiling from ear to ear. Joan stood up and hopped off the bed; she removed her hat from her head and flipped her hair about, then returned the hat to back a top her head. Suddenly and without warning, Joan threw a strong hoof at the Doctor's muzzle.

“Ya know doctor? I don’t like pain. I don’t necessarily hate it either.” Joan glared at the Doctor.

“And I don’t like being punched in the muzzle, now be happy! The SS worked perfectly and your 100% fully healed!” He grabbed Joan’s left wing again and extended it…there was no pain, and in fact Joan could feel all the muscles in her wing again.

“Thank you, Doctor. Now if you excuse me I shall be going.” Joan tipped her hat at the Doctor and began leaving.

“WAIT!” yelled the Doctor; he trotted around in front of Joan. “Why don’t you stay with me tonight. It will be morning by the time you get back to your house in sweet apple acres.” He gave her a genuine smile, “Please.”

“But I can…fly now…” Joan said flexing her wings out. “I could just fly straight to my house.”

The Doctor sighed, “Yea that’s true.”

Joan walked up to the Doctor and rubbed her cheek against his affectionately, “Maybe some other day Doctor, we’re still married…aren’t we.” Then she turned and galloped out the door and flew off into the sky. Joan felt the wind blowing through her clothes, a colder night wind. Joan hadn’t used her wings in a very long time and she even went to the extent of hiding them behind her clothes. But, now she felt a feeling, a feeling that she hadn’t felt in a long time, Freedom. Joan landed softly at the door of her house. She looked up at the moon, “Do you think I could reach you now.” A cold breeze blew around her, Joan dipped her head and blushed a little, “Yea, you’re right. It wouldn’t be a smart idea. When will I see you next?” One last breeze rushed in and then all was quiet and still. “Until the next night! Goodbye.” Joan pushed her way into her hut and flopped on her bed. Then she was asleep. Something seemed to push her...Joan woke up. She pushed her way outside. It was still night, she looked at the moon, then to Ponyvile. Joan narrowed her eyes and flew speedily to Ponyvile. Joan landed outside of the saloon, it was busy as always, but that’s not what caught Joan’s attention. A…weird…um striped pony was walking by. She wore a strange brown hood, to be frank everything about her was strange. A weird green mud covered her hooves, “Uh hey, hey you! What’s your name?”

“Zeth Brecora be my name, and now I too wish to know the same.” The striped pony said in a rhyming sing-song voice.

“Uhhh, Joan Derpston. Marshal Dash said you could help us with Fort Cloudsdale.”

She stopped and pulled back her hood with a hoof covered in a green muck. “Fort Cloudsdale be tall and strong, with what can I help to fix what’s wrong.”

“Well…um, what can you do ma’am?” asked Joan.

“Walk with me friend. For my answer is at this paths end.”

“You’re a funny one ain’t you? Well what do you specialize in, are you a gunslinger, a hate bringer, a bell ringer, or a fools singer?” rhymed Joan, Why did I just rhyme that? thought Derpston.

“Potions and herbal mixtures is what I do. I’m sure there is some way this can help you. For you see I live alone, in a ghost town called Muzzleweed. Because of the silence my knowledge I’ve honed, I to am as quite as Tumbleweed.”

“That rhyme didn’t work so well?”

“Well why don’t you try doing it all the time. You too would find it’s hard to rhyme.”

Joan shrugged her shoulders agreeing that she wouldn’t be able to do it, “So what kind of potions could you make for us.”

“Ones for if you wish to fly or walk on the clouds. Or ones for if you want to die or bring somepony (in a sorta demonic voice) down!”

Joan gave a strange look to Zeth, “I think we’ll be fine with making ponies fly.”

“Until next time my little pony, please leave me alone please. For supplies I must find, and my own safety in my mind. Now wipe your face of that smug frown, meet me in Muzzleweed when the bandits are out of town.” She lifted her hood with her mucky hoof and walked into the forest at the end of the path.

“This may be easier than I thought.” Joan looked around town. There was a crowd of ponies rushing towards the cider saloon. “What’s going on here?” Joan trotted over to the saloon and into it. The crowd was thick with Ponyvile citizens, cowmares, stallions, and even some familiar faces.

“My, my Joan we have a strange way of meeting up in every possible place.” Spoke the Doctor as he trotted around to Joan. “Did you come for the show or a drink?”

“A show? Who would come here to play music…w-what kind of music?” She gave the Doctor a confused glare; she hadn’t noticed the music when she walked in but, now. There was a cello player and a piano player sitting next to each other. The unicorn at the piano was a pale yellow colored mare that wore blue glasses; her mane was elaborately styled and pointy, it was red and blue colored. The cello player was a dark gray mare with a slicker styled back black mane. The piano player had piano keys for a cutie mark and the other had a small music staff with notes on every line and space. The 2 were playing there instruments and the unicorn began singing; it was a beautiful flowing voice.

“Breaking my heart was so easy, so easy~, lunar assault now, take it easy~. Raise your Elements, Raise your Elements, one world, bring us har-mony. Ripping through like a rainbow, ripping through my heart. Rob me of this life~ Raise your Elements~ Raise your Elements~~, bring us har-mony~.” The cello player stomped her hoof down on each quarter note creating a basic drum beat while the pianist began building on to her piano riff. “Curve your ego. You won’t feel a thing~ Always #1. A Pegasus with a broken wing. Sign away our peace, for awards~ One world, bring it har-mony~. Dropping your bombs now, on all we’ve built~. How does it feel now, to watch us burn, burn, burn. Raise your Element~~ Raise your Element~~~. Bring us har-mony~.” The 2 musicians began playing different parts and building more on the music. Then someone called out to Joan. “Joan, Joan! Gala MacApple’s gone missing!” Marshal Dash yelled. She had flown in from above. “Her mother came in an said she hadn’t returned from her delivery yesterday morning.”

“Oh Mrs. Derpston…Mrs. Derpston, come and see me!” a mysterious stallion said from the corner of the room. He walked forward out of the shadows and looked up from the tip of his hat. He looked at Marshal Dash. “Oh My! Even better.” He chuckled.

Marshal Dash scowled at the mysterious bandit, “Where is she!? Tell us or I’ll shoot you!”

The bandit chuckled lightly, “I wouldn’t recommend that Marshal, not unless you want Miss Gala dead.”

“Tell us NOW!”

“She’s a real pretty girl, think I’ll make her my bride. Give her a little foal to take care of you know-“

“Ripping through like a rainbow.” The music started again. The pianist grinned and lifted up the top of the piano. A weird black machine raised out of it. The words on the side said, The Wub-Wub 2000 and MM Hor5-E. “Ripping through my heart, rob me of this life~ Raise your Element~ Raise your Element~~ Bring us har-mony~.”

The bandit pony looked furious and annoyed; he began yelling, “HEY! LITTLE MISS PIANIST STOP THE-“

The pianist started pressing buttons on the machine, “How does it feel now, to watch us BURN!” She sang out and hit a button on the machine and strange lights and noises began to pour out of the machine. Suddenly, gasps came from the crowd; this was, new and different. Wub was the only word that could come close to describing, whatever this was, although Joan had to admit she liked it noticing that her head was bobbing ever so slightly to the distorted beat. The crowd too liked the music, as the bar patrons were jumping up and dancing around to the music.

The bandit pony became even more enraged and was turning maroon with it. He yelled even more, although the pianist couldn’t hear him over the music, “TURN THAT INCOHERENT RACKET OFF BEFORE I HAVE TO!” He waited for a second and then drew his revolver and shot at the black piano machine. The crowd gasped once again as the music skipped about and distorted down to nothing. The pianist fell backwards off her chair. The cello player dropped her instrument and rushed to her friend helping her up.

“Ivory are you ok?” she asked.

“Were still on stage, Chromatica. So you still need to call me by my stage name.” she replied with a sarcastic angst on her face.

“Are you okay Music-Master Hor5-E (pronounced Horsy or Horse-E)?” asked Chromatica sarcastically.

“I am, but what about the Wub-Wub 2000.” She looked upon her machine. It was riddled with bullet holes and was spewing out black smoke. It sputtered occasionally and made electrical noises. To put it simply, the machine was destroyed. “No….no, not my beautiful machine!” MM Hor5-E began to cry into her chair and Chromatica tried to help comfort her.

The bandit smiled evilly, “Now that’s better.” He said as he sheathed his revolver.

“What do you want?” asked Joan.

“Walton, we want a prisoner exchange with Walton for Gala MacApple.”

“My machine, you…YOU! He broke my machine.” Could barely be heard over the discussion taking place.

The bandit pointed a green muck covered hoof to the moon that was setting, “When the sun fully shows it’s self, bring Walton to the town of-“

“YOU BROKE MY MACHINE!” yelled MM Hor5-E as she broke her chair over the bandits head. CRACK! He fell to the floor with blood pouring out onto it, his eyes were glazed over. He was dead. “He…he broke my…he broke my machine.”

Chromatica rushed over to MM Hor5-E and started trying to calm her down. Dash and Joan looked at each other, then to the body. Marshal Dash was the first one to speak, “So now what, where do we take Walton. And won’t they get suspicious when he,” she pointed to the body, “doesn’t return.”

“Wait a minute.” Joan inspected the green muck on the bandits hoof. “Zeth had the same green muck on her hooves. They might have gotten it from the same place. She mentioned something about bandits invading the town she lived in. What was it called?” Joan placed a hoof on her muzzle then realized suddenly, “Muzzleweed. Zeth lives in Muzzleweed! She left cause of the bandits.”

“I’ll rally up my deputies and get Walton, get the Doctor to come with us incase Gala or anyone else gets hurt. We ride for Muzzleweed in one hour. If we get there fast enough maybe they won't get suspicious of this fellow here.” Dash spread her wings and bolted out of the saloon.

Derpston looked at the pianist who was lying on the ground in a ball, the cello player calmly stroking the traumatized pony’s mane. “Hey you. Uh…on the ground. What’s your name?”

“Real or stage name?” she said staring blankly forward.

“Both please.”

“My stage name is Music Master Hor5-E. My real name is Ivory Keys. My fellow musician is Chromatica.” She spoke this and didn’t move her head at all, she just continued to stare forward.

“Pleased to meet you Mrs.…?” asked Chromatica.

“Joan, Joan Derpston.” Joan walked in front of Ivory so she was in her field of view, then she laid down in front of her. “Listen, your machine may be dead. But your career isn’t over. You have a wonderful voice and great piano playing skills.”

Ivory continued to stare at Joan, “I was going to revolutionize the music world. I spent 4 years of work and paychecks on the Wub-Wub 2000. Now it’s…it’s all gone.” She slowly got up, then gently trotted over to the machine. “Its been good Wub-Wub its been good. You didn’t even last past your first show. But I don’t know what I was expecting anyway.” She turned around and smiled at Joan and then looked at Chromatica. “Come on, Miss Chromatics we got a show to play in Trottingham tomorrow and I need a new piano.” She ran speedily out the saloon door.

“Ivory wait for me!” Chromatica ran towards her cello and gently placed it in the case, grabbed it, and then she ran for the door but stopped at the exit. Then she said, “Thank you Mrs. Derpston.” And the she was gone.

The saloon had been completely cleared of ponies, due to the panic caused by the death of the bandit. Nopony at all was in the bar, only Joan remained. Joan walked up to the pool of maroon on the ground. The bandits body had been taken away but his blood remained. “Chairs hurt don’t they.” She looked at the exit, then back to the pool of blood, then to the exit. She trotted out of the exit and into the still dark streets of Ponyvile.

“Hey, Joan!” Yelled the voice of Ivory. She was in the back of a metal plated wagon. “I want you to have this.” She jumped out of the back, “It’s the least I can do. And I’m sure you’ll find a use for it.” She smiled and you could see her eyes sparkle behind her glasses. “The metal plated sides even fold up to make a top cover incase of rain….hmm…I always liked the sound of rain on metal. Uh, anyway thanks. Come to a show sometime. Bye!” Then she quickly ran off to a smaller wagon that Chromatica was sitting in. The 2 waved good bye and then they were gone.

A voice spoke, “She’ll end up getting married to a royal palace guard, then they’ll have a little colt born to them, then they’ll have a grandchild named Vinyl Scratch or as her stage name will be DJ-P0N3.” It was the Doctor. “It has come to my attention that you just inherited this wagon and that you will be needing my help when you go to Muzzleweed. I have packed a small medical bag in accordance with this mission.”

“Doctor, how do you know about Ivory’s life and future? Can you tell me mine?”

“Joan your story is already written, if I tell you the details of it then you could possibly erase parts of it. I’m a time lord, Joan. Messing with your future or your past could result in dire consequences. Now, Joan I do believe that the sun is coming up. Time to head out to Muzzleweed.” Joan and the Doctor walked side by side to the Marshal’s office.

Dash carried out Walton, who was tied up, and placed him inside a small wooden wagon. “This is what happens when the Bureau interferes with our affairs!”

“I told you I don’t work for the government.” Joan said as they began to gallop out of town.

“You say that Joan but all I know for sure is who sent you.”

“They made me come here, I had no choice. That’s your government, Miss Johnson.”

“They come down here dressed like the king of diamonds, spreadin’ all there flannel about peace and civilization. Really all they doin’ is bringing more trouble and taxes.”

“I agree Marshal, there wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

“Celestia herself has been spewing out hootenanny about establishing a better society when the last monsters have been destroyed. Am I safe to assume that everypony in this world is crazy. We can’t control the lands we already have, but our dear Princess goes ahead and expands Equestria over double its size. Now we got a whole new mess of troubles south of us. Nuevo Equestria is nothing but a gilded mistake. While she worries about monsters in the far south lands she can’t seem to see the grim reaper in front of her.” Marshal Dash ranted on. The whole group ran onward for a while, the sun was now setting. It would be night soon.

“Tell me about Muzzleweed, I wanna know what were going into.” Asked the Doctor, who had ran up next to Joan.

Trails was the first to respond, “Muzzleweed used to be a good little town, wasn’t to big but wasn’t to small either. Consisted of normal ponies living there normal pony lives. But when the railroads went to Ponyvile and curved down to Nuevo Equestria, all the ponies up and left turning it into a ghost town. Now its inhabited by animals, bandits, thieves, drug-addicts, or someone like Zeth Brecora.”

“Sounds like a quant little village were going to.” The Doctor sarcastically remarked.

“Muzzleweed is on the very southwestern edge of the Everfree Mountains. Creepy things happen in those mountains, in that forest, by that lake. If its Everfree, then its creepy.” Snipes remarked, then he grinned. “That bandit pony is really lucky. If that green stuff on his hooves was Everfree muck.”

“Why’s that, Snipes?” asked Joan.

“Snakes! Lot’s of em inhabit the mud pools. They don’t attack you unless you start stomping in there muck, but they’s some nasty critters.”

Joan dipped her head, the Doctor noticed this. “What’s wrong, dear?” he asked.

“I…hate…snakes.” Was all she said, and all she needed to say.

The group continued galloping around the Everfree Mountains, a mansion on a hill began to become visible with the sun just barely above it. Soon a raggedy old town became visible in the small valley below. “That bandit was at Fort Cloudsdale when I first went there, makes me wonder what Dyslex wants with this coward.”

“She probably thinks that with Walton’s men at her side they can over power any attack we make.” The dust sprayed up into the air as the group stopped at the entrance to Muzzleweed. “But I know one thing for sure, were getting Miss MacApple back, even if we all die trying. Snipes, Trails, if we don’t make it, it’s been a pleasure having you as my deputies. Doctor, you’ve done nothing but help the town of Ponyvile, we are in your debt as it is, and I’m glad you came along. Derpston, not gonna lie, you’re the reason were in this mess, but I wouldn’t want any other gunslinger to be here with me today. Now fillies and gentlecolts,” Marshal Dash drew her revolver, “Lets go save Gala MacApple!”

Next Time: The Hanging of Gala MacApple