Gunslinger Joan Derpston returns to Frontier Equestria to kill her old friends or lose the last thing she has to fight for in her life, her daughter.
In a time before the return of Nightmare Moon, Equestria is a growing land. A growing land filled with corruption and disharmony. Once an outlaw but now having turned over a new leaf. Joan Derpston is given the mission to rid Equestria of her old gangmates or risk losing the last thing that matters to her in the world, her daughter. From rapidly growing Ponyville to rebellious Nuevo Equestria and even to the bloody streets of Canterlot itself.
Follow Joan as she battles death, corruption, and even royalty in this MLP Red Dead Redemption crossover
(Special thanks to Dutch-Duo~ of Deviantart for the thumbnail picture)
Prologue: Exodus, Isolation, Silence, and Death. The bursting cities and the dusty towns. The Equestrian frontier: savage animals, savage weather, and savage ponies. The home for many riddled with wickedness and hatred. Chaos brings death and with death is destruction. Plagued by disease and villainy, the frontier life is harsh but welcomed by many. The outlaws whom roam the land freely, killing and taking what and who they want. What’s to stop them in this wasteland, the Equestrian Frontier. Society makes its push into the simple lives of the frontier ponies, a push that all in the west have rejected. Future and change, safety and industry, these simpletons don’t want to be apart of the glorious future of Equestria. We strive for the betterment of all, and so far it has worked, many of the frontier towns welcome our help and aide. They wish to be free of the scum and wretchedness that this “wild west” brings them. They want to fight against us. I know you have a very good relationship with whom my associates have told you about. Remember your mission, were doing this to stop this bloodshed not create unnecessary amounts of it. When this is over you can return to living “that” life that you have chosen for you and your family. Remember Mrs. Derpston we are watching, we will intervene if you fail your mission. Your status: “Disposable.” Do good and we’ll make it different. We have a common goal you know. I want this over as much as the last pony but…your destiny is calling you. My associates, Twilight Ross and Spike Fordham, have debriefed you on your balloon ride down. Don’t fail us Derpston, because the only person who will see your failure is the one we have taken.
-Sincerely and with great pleasure,
Princess Celestia.
This world is harsh and it was made harsh by those ponies, not us outlaws. I am no longer an outlaw but we did what we did and we were justified. We took from those high society snooty colt killers and gave it to those of us less fortunate, there is a reason we live in the “Wild” west. The train was here, Ross and her assistant stood behind me, “Goodbye and Good luck, my little pony,” said Ross. Derpston turned her head back and tipped her hat respectfully and then boarded the train. With a huff and puff of warm steam the train engine shuddered and pulled-off. The miserably musty smelling passenger cars were crammed with ponies of different races and genders. Many of them looked well groomed and pampered, they were obviously city ponies sent by Celestia and the Futurism bureau. Mrs. Derpston found a seat behind a unicorn in a black tuxedo and a white mare in a purple dress. Behind her sat two unicorns in red and blue dresses. They spoke of how much better there society was compared to this dusty frontier. Derpston thought to her self, so destroying our western culture of freedom and uninterrupted living is making society better. Your interruption into our lives, that’s why there is a civil war going on here between us frontiers mares and you city folk. Celestia’s letter was right, to some extent; many of the frontier towns had accepted your aide. With that we mean the trains, telegrams, and the farming equipment. We never welcomed your hypocrisy and the destruction of our culture.
Derpston leaned against the window of the train and looked at the 2 fillies sitting next to there mother on the opposite side of the train. They were young, young and innocent, too young for the horrors of what this wild frontier held. The one filly gave her a curious look and began staring into her eyes; Derpston felt her left eye droop down. She quickly picked it up but soon it drooped again and she repeated this process for the next 3 minutes. The little filly began to giggle at her; the little one was a purple Pegasus with green eyes, she wore a dress that faded from black at the bottom of the dress to white at the top. Derpston finally got control of her eyes as the train sputtered and hissed to a halt at ponyvile station. Tipping her hat to the little filly who was smiling at her she quickly exited the train. Upon exiting the black train she was greeted with a hot gust of dusty air. The sun beamed down on Derpston’s flank, she observed the town in front of her. Ponyvile was the closest town by train from Canterlot. It wasn’t the greatest looking place but it was much more welcomed sight than the red canyons and cactus spotted deserts of the mountain lands in between Canterlot and Ponyvile. The train hissed a couple times and the conductor called for all who were going to ride it to get on. Then it was gone and when the dust had settled Derpston turned around and looked at the cloud formation on the horizon. Fort Cloudsdale! Derpston felt a tug her rancher outfit. She turned to look at the little filly from the train.
“I just wanted to say thank you ma’am for being funny for me! It was real nice of you to do that for me,” she smiled and her eyes got big and lit up with innocence.
Derpston laughed a little uneasily, “Uhhh…sure kid, its no problem…ehehe.”
She continued to smile, then her mother called for her and she dashed off. “She reminds me a lot of you my little muffin,” Derpston told herself. She set her eyes on the fort in the distance and then set off on the crumbly dirt path. The lonely road, the road traveled by very few, but traveled too much by Mrs. Derpston. She clinched her teeth and walked forward, the sun covering every inch of the ground ahead of her. If her mission didn’t kill her, this heat most certainly could. The path twisted and turned up hill sides and rocky curves. The ground became less and less beaten down the further she ventured to the fort. Birds circled overhead and a large lifeless body lay still on the road. Derpston sat down on the path and doffed her hat in respects for the dead stallion. Her long blonde mane and tail began blowing with the dusty winds. She returned her hat to her head and dusted off her jacket. Then, and suddenly a hiss came from the body. She knew what that hiss belonged to and she drew her revolver from the harness on her hind faster than the wind its self blew. BANG!...smoke floated out of the barrel of Derpston’s revolver. The carcass of a rattlesnake lay in front of her. She holstered her weapon then turned her head around and grabbed a knife in her mouth and began skinning the snake.
“Ugh! I…I hate snakes…” Derpston sighed as she gripped the knife with her hooves and made the last incision into the snake.
Derpston raised her head up and stared at the towering Fort Cloudsdale that floated in front of her. She gave a serious glare at the pretty clouds and rainbows spewing from the fort. A scorching hot breeze buffeted Derpston, her cowmares clothing being pulled at by the strong currents. She reached to her flank and grabbed her revolver wrapping her hoof around it and standing on three hooves with the gun pointing at the forts gates.
“Dyslex! I’ve come for you Dyslex! Come out here right now.” Yelled Derpston.
A mare’s voice shouts from behind the fort walls, “Go away Joan, don’t make me kill you.”
“Nopony needs to die Dyslex.” Responded Derpston who held her revolver steadily at the gates to the floating fort.
Dyslex appeared, she had a mint green colored coat and long scraggly mane that was a pale cyan color and highlighted with white. Her unicorn’s horn poked out from underneath her cowmares hat. Then she said, “You must think I was born on the moon. You always thought I was an idiot…cause I couldn’t read right! It’s funny that you were a better reader than me you’re the one with the eye problems!”
“Come on now Dyslex. That ain’t fair. You was my sister. I’m just tryin’ to save you,” said Joan, she noticed Dyslex wasn’t alone as a large group of mares and stallions popped up from behind the fort walls, all with guns in there hooves.
Dyslex chuckled, “Do I look like I need saving?”
“Dyslex, please! They want to banish us to the moon. I can help you.”
“Well, you never tried to save me before. You only seemed to save yourself.” Dyslex’s horn glowed and her own revolver began floating next to her.
“Dyslex, I implore you, think about this.”
“You implore me? YOU implore ME? You always were one for them fancy words. Well things are different now, Joan. Now, I’m in charge! No more Epileps and no more you. Implores. I, I implores you to go back and tell them to send someone just a little bit more impressive next time. More appropriately not some filly-fooler like you!”
“That’s funny! Last I remember it was you and schizo that was foolin!” Derpston shouted and raised her weapon straight at Dyslex. A mare on the left side of the fort fired at Joan. The bullet went straight through Derpstons body. She collapsed on the ground.
“Poor Joan.” Dyslex shook her head and then disappeared behind the walls with the rest of her gang.
The sun was now setting, a cart pulled by a red coated stallion rolled up to where Derpston was laying. A light orange coated mare wearing a flower laced hat jumped out and ran to the unconscious mare. She waved to the red stallion. He ran over and they both picked up Joan’s body and carried her to the wagon. Then the stallion ran to the front of the cart and began to pull it away, quickly leaving behind dust were Derpston once laid.
Derpston gasped and shot her eyes open. She turned her head and looked around the small room she was in. The wooden room was packed in with lots of junk and other horse related supplies. Light peaked in through the dirty rags covering the one window in the room. Joan sat up in her bed; it pained her to get up her left side coursing in agony. Joan slowly slid out of her resting place and grabbed her hat from the bed post.
“Well! Howdy there partner. Seems that you’re alive and kickin again.” The light orange coated mare leaned against the door post and smiled at Joan.
“So it seems” Derpston said as she placed her hat on her head. “Got any Idea where my jacket is ma’am?”
“Mighty sorry Miss but I do believe we left it at the doctors. Come with me, we’ll walk down to the doctors in ponyvile. Oh and by the way my name is Gala, Gala MacApple.”
Joan took a step forward and hissed and gasped in pain with every movement. “Where are we exactly?”
“Why, were in the northern village of Sweet Apple Acres. Its north of all the main farms and its where our relatives stay during the apple family reunion. We brought you here after the doctor fixed you up.” The two of them began walking down the small hillside that the north village was built on. “So do you mind me asking what you were doing out there by Fort Cloudsdale? I mean Dyslex is the most dangerous unicorn this side of Equestria!”
Derpston kept a straight face as she answered, “Just tryin to save an old friend.”
“An old friend? You were friends with that crazy filly?” asked Gala.
“I’m afraid so...” said Joan as she dipped her head towards the ground.
Err…w-we’ll look on the bright side, the doctor got that bullet out of you and he said you’ll be all better soon.” Stated Gala as an obvious attempt to cheer Joan up.
“Good…”
“It cost us 15 bits.”
“And I’ll re-pay you some how Miss MacApple I promise you that.” Joan gave Gala a reassuring smile.
Gala cleared her throat and began shifting her eyes back and forth, “hmmm umm…err so how do you know Miss Lex?”
“Lets say me, her, and 2 other buddies of ours all had a not so sunshine and smiley faces kinda past.”
“What are you an outlaw or something!?” gasped Gala.
“I may have robbed, kidnapped, and beaten up some ponies before but I, we was justified. We only took from them rich folks and we gave it to the less fortunate of us.” Derpston kept her head down towards the ground.
“But you didn’t do anything else…right?”
“I may have killed a pony or two as well…” she stopped walking and was breathing heavily, fatigued by the pain in her sides.
“I ain’t gonna lie, but me and my pa have killed our fair share of rustlers and thieves. It’s a pony kill pony world out here, survival ain’t easy.”
“Your…your hitting the mark…with that one.” Derpston panted.
“So what was he like, I mean the mares in your gang?”
“They was dumb.”
“Sounds a lot like you!” shouted Gala.
“Much appreciated Miss MacApple!” sarcastically remarked Joan.
“So what will you do now?” asked Gala
“Well I gotta go see Dyslex again, although this time I won’t be as nice.” Said Derpston as the two of them strolled into ponyvile.
“Well, I best be getting to main section of our farm. It’s just southwest of here. Oh yea and that hut back in the north village is yours to keep till the next apple family reunion. Now go check in with the doctor, he said he wanted to see you to tell you the extent of your injuries.”
“Thanks Miss MacApple, this really means a lot to me!” smiled Joan.
“Its nothing miss….err”
“Derpston, Joan Derpston”
“Its nothing Joan, just don’t expect me to drag your body everywhere. Now I must be going. Goodbye for now.” She waved goodbye and galloped out of town and out of sight.
Derpston observed the town. It was bright and happy, the ponies at least, but this town looked miserable and the ugly sight of wind scorched and beaten down homes and stores. She moved through out the small streets searching among the buildings for the doctor’s office. When a blue building with a white and red cross came up into view on the edge of town Joan knew she had found what she was looking for. The door opened as a large brown stallion trotted out with bloody bandages on his ears. Derpston entered office and rang the bell on the counter.
“I’ll be out in a minute!” yelled a voice from the back room, it was a strange voice, Joan knew that accent that accent that was so much different then hers or Gala’s. She recognized this voice very well, it was a voice she would never forget…and for good reason. The doctor walked in, he had a slicked back dark brown mane and his coat was a lighter color than his mane. “Oh my! Well if you’d look at whom we got here, if it ain’t the good ol’ cowmare who they brought in to me a week ago. Plum tuckered out and bleeding like a waterfall!”
“Hello, Doctor…it’s been a while.” A small smirk began showing on Derpstons face.
“A while? Well if a week ago is a while then yes. It’s been a while.”
“Wait?!? Do you not remember ME!” shouted Joan
“Am I supposed to remember? Do I win a prize if I do!” The Doctor laughed obviously not remembering anything.
“Do you not remember comet rock outside of Trottingham? Or does that blue mailbox of yours hurt your memories too!” Joan was standing up into the doctor’s face staring into his eyes, although her own eyes had drooped and gone derpy.
“Those eyes…and how do you know about the TARDIS. Now I remember you’re important somehow. Let’s see I just can’t seem to remember.” The doctor began shuffling through some boxes in the back throwing items behind him that nearly hit Joan. “Oh! That’s right. I thought queen Elizabeth and Tia were the last of my love problems. Seems I’m really bad at remembering ponies. Let’s see your name, your name, umm, Jonah no, no it was, Jasmine, no Jo…Jo…Jo JOAN! BLOODY HELL! It’s great to see you, Joan Derpston!” The Doctor grabbed a book from a box and opened it up to reveal a couple of pictures of him and Joan. “You were never really picture savvy. But, hey we look good in these. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so how has life been for you! Come on I’ve been gone for a couple years something interesting has to have happened to…eh you of anypony especially!” The doctor shouted so loud that some ponies in the streets had stopped and looked into the office but had since then left.
“Well I had a baby filly and we were living happy and by ourselves cause the father left us. I’d been trying my best to leave that past life I had, for her! But that caught back up to me and now I’ve gotta kill someponies who are causing trouble for everypony round’ here! Now I wish that my baby’s father would remember his place and help me save her.” Stated Derpston as she stressed many of the words in a slightly angry tone.
The doctor put his hoof on his chin, “Now that’s a brilliant story. But I’m afraid I can’t help much with this.”
Joan scowled at the Doctor and began shouting at him again, her eyes going derpy once more, “OH FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA! Remember Comet Rock you nonce!” She grabbed her gun and shoved it into the doctor’s face. “Now I think it’d be best if you’d start remembering who I am and everything we done did together.”
“What the Buck, Joan. I remember that we ran away from the gang together and that we lived in Trottingham for a while. I remember what happened at Comet Rock and that I left immediately after it in the TARDIS. I’m a time lord for Pete sake, it’s what I do! So what are you saying!?”
“Oh! Why are you so intelligent and handsome!?” Joan lowered her weapon. “I was hoping you’d use that intelligence to put the pieces together.” Joan began trotting towards the door.
“Wait! How do you want me to connect these pieces?”
“I’d think that you of all ponies would know how equine reproduction works.”
The doctor stared into Joan’s still derpy eyes, and then he made a face that the word “priceless” could be considered an understatement to. His jaw dropped, he gasped in a couple of times and his eyes widened.
“I HAVE A DAUGHTER!” shouted the Doctor. The Doctor now stood on his two hind legs.
“Yours and mine. She’s a unicorn too. Almost grown-up too. She could really use her father right now!”
The doctor put on his serious face, “I’m coming Dyslex! Give me my daughter back!” The doctor charged for the door.
“Doctor NO!” Joan jumped onto the doctor trying to pull him down, but he attempted to keep going dragging Derpston along. “She ain’t out at the Fort!” Joan’s body began to throb with pain as her left side dragged along the ground. She fell off and the doctor continued running, Joan felt herself fading away but she reached for her revolver. BANG! The doctor stopped running, when he turned around Derpston was holding her smoking revolver in the air, and then she dropped it and collapsed to the right. The Doctor rushed up to her she was panting and gasping in pain.
“Your bleeding, we must have opened up your wounds again. Come on lets get you lot into my office.” The doctor picked up Joan and carried (a little more like dragged her) back to his office.
Joan woke up in an infirmary bed, the Doctor stood on the right side of the room washing his hooves or other medical tools. When he saw that she was awake he trotted over to her.
“Good morning!” the chipper tone of the doctors voice made Joan smile a little.
“Morning? Was I out for the whole night?” Joan sat up in her bed and clinched her teeth as she felt her sides hurting once again.
“Yep! And lucky you I was able to get my sonic screwdriver working long enough to patch you up. But it went on the fritz again before I could fix a newly discovered problem of yours….Your wings.” The doctor reached under the bed sheets and grabbed Joan’s left wing and extended it full. Now normally Joan wasn’t one to voice her pain out loud but this was an exception.
“OH MUFFINS!” Joan out of reflex punches the doctor square in the muzzle.
“OW!” The doctor yelled and covered his nose with his hooves. “Well…I guess that’s what I get for doing that. Your wing is injured. And I could only do what my hooves could allow me to; it will have to heal naturally without the assistance of the SS.”
“Is that all…am I free to go?” asked Derpston.
“You most certainly are free to go! Your clothes are on the stool next to your bed and your jacket is on the edge of your bed. Also!” the doctor shouted at Derpston from a room he had walked into, “Marshall Dash Johnson asked me to send you to her when you woke up!” The doctor walked back into the room and now his head and body were adorned with a fedora and a sleek brown leather jacket. “Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to enjoy a hay and English muffin breakfast at Sugar Cube Corner. Ta-Ta!” and then he was gone.
A few minutes later, “Wow, Dash Johnson wants to see me? Hehe, it’s been a while since I’ve heard that name. Wonder what she wants.” Derpston appeared out of the front of the office, she was now fully clothed in her cowmare outfit including her jacket. She grinned and looked down the road at the Marshall’s office, she put her hat on top of her head and trotted off down the road.
Joan gently pushed the door to Marshal Dash Johnson’s office open. The office was small and only had 2 prisoner cells. One of the cells was locked shut and had a prisoner who was sitting against the wall; the other cell was open and had a pony sleeping in it. The prisoner watched Joan enter and looked over at the pony sleeping in the cell next to him.
“Hey! Hey! You gots a visitor.” He yelled at the sleeping pony.
He stumbled out of the bed; he was a unicorn a bit shorter than Derpston with a pale cyan coat and a short dark orange colored mane. “Shut up you! And, and whats you want?”
“My name is Joan Derpston. Marshal Dash wanted to speak to me.”
“Ehh…uhh why?” asked the short pony.
“Cause were both in the business of law. Whats a colt like you doing in the business of law & order?” asked Joan.
“Hey! I ain’t no colt! I’m the marshal’s deputy. Where’s a strange mare like you from anyway!?”
Joan pushed the brim of her hat up a little bit, “I’m from Fort Cloudsdale.”
The lawpony grabbed his revolver and pointed it at Derpston as she did the same to retaliate, “What! Are you one of Dyslex’s fillies,” he yelled.
“Calm Down hotshot”
The prisoner had climbed on his cell bars, “Go on boy! Shoot em shoot em.”
A brash voice rose from the doorway to the office, “Now, whats going on here?”
“Marshal Dash! I got me one of them Dyslex mares!”
“And I got one of them idiots putting a shameful name on lawponies like us!”
“Alright, Snipes put your gun down. You’re the mare from Canterlot ain’t you?” Marshal Dash commanded Snipes and he at once put his gun away and began to look shamefully at the floor.
“Yes I am. This deputy of yours ain’t the brightest one on the block, but he’s loyal.”
“I’d hope he’d be. Means I’ve been teaching him right. Loyalty in the battlefield means noponies left behind and you live together or die together.” Marshal Dash came in and sat on her desk while Deputy Snipes left the office.
“Those are some good morals to have. Wish the gang had some of those.” Derpston cracked a smile from under her hat.
“Ma’am if that old gang of yours had any morals at all, now I believe that you wouldn’t be in this situation then.” Marshal Dash sat back on her desk her rainbow mane poking out from under her hat. Her light turquoise coat showed only on her face, the rest of it being covered by her Marshal’s uniform. “Now, apart from scaring some intelligence into my deputies, I assume you know what I’ve called you in here for.”
Joan put her front 2 hooves on the marshal’s desk and stared him straight in her eyes, Derpstons being derpy obviously. “Well I know your going to help me kill or capture Dyslex. But let me guess, I’m going to have to help you first.”
Marshal Dash rested her chin on a crooked hoof, “Just like old times right. Now Fort Cloudsdale is on the border of my jurisdiction. You help me and my deputies in and around town and maybe I’ll find the kindness in my heart to expand the area I’m willing to fight in. Now you best be thinking of a plan in that derpy little mind of yours about how were going to attack that floating fortress. I ain’t no coward but I ain’t suicidal.”
Joan smirked at the Marshal, “You talking reminds me of why a lot of my respected colleagues had a problem with the law…now whats wrong with you?”
Marshal Dash sat back in her desk chair and removed her hat, her rainbow mane flowed out from under it and covered most of her face, “Lets see, I’ve got drunks in the cider & salt saloon yelling that they’ll shoot everypony, the railroad wants to burn down a small settlement north of here so they can add more tracks, got missing ponies, murderous back country settlers, and its still early.”
“Let’s go deal with them fillies in the saloon first. Then we can worry about plans for Fort Cloudsdale.”
Marshal Dash brushed her hair back with her hoof and replaced her hat to its rightful spot, “You’re a persistent little girl ain’t you.”
Joan grinned at Dash, “Only when I need to be.”
The two mares left the office and trotted down to the Ponyvile Cider Saloon. “So who we looking for Marshal?”
“Some 8-bit hoodlums, led by a filly named Walton. They watch the roads and attack any coaches that travel down them, they don’t kill em but robbery is still a crime right?!”
As the two neared the saloon, a fuchsia colored stallion stumbled out of the saloon and trotted behind the saloon and out of sight.
“Joan that was Walton, we gotta follow him, quietly.” Joan and Marshal Dash followed Walton through some hills and rolling plains till they got to a rocky area with twin rocks rising above the hills. “Now this is where he and his cronies are held up.”
“Why don’t we just shoot him now and move to our next problem?” questioned Derpston.
“Dead people can’t talk. And I know Walton’s got people over in Pike’s basin. He talks and we’ll know there exact location and what there planning to do there too!” Joan watched the twin rock area, then she noticed a peculiar object on the rocks. BANG! A bullet whipped past Joan and Dash’s head.
“Looks like we’ve got company boys!!” yelled the stallion on the rock.
“Take cover behind these rocks, we’ll work our way up from there!” Joan and Dash ducked behind some large rocks at the base of a hill. They each drew there revolvers and poked there heads out and fired at the charging ponies.
“If they just keep charging, oh pony this will be the easiest gun fight I ever one.” Joan hurdled over her cover and rushed up to a wagon. Derpston now had a clear shot on the riflepony on the rocks, she lined up her shot, BANG, the rifleponies body fell off the rock and smacked into the ground. “Haha, hope the ground tastes good.”
Marshal Dash moved up next to Joan she inspected the battlefield quickly, “I’ll pop out and give you a few covering shots, you move up to the left side, from there you’ll have a clear shot on anyone I don’t hit.” Joan nodded at Marshal Dash agreeing to her plan. Dash swung around the wagon and fired three shots, which all hit 3 different ponies. Joan galloped around the left side of the rocks and took cover behind a short white wall. When she looked up from cover only one stallion was left standing. Marshal Dash yelled at the stallion and he jerked around panicking. Joan jumped up on her back 2 hooves and held her revolver out in front of her. She fired. BANG! The bullet flew through the stallions head and blood splattered all over the white wall in front of him.
“Walton’s cowering inside that house like a little foal! And Derpston lets take him alive!” Joan and Dash lined up next to the door. Dash busted open the door and the 2 rushed inside and pointed there revolvers at Walton, whom was jamming a weapon under his chin.
“I ain’t gonna let you take me alive!” Walton pulled the hammer back on his revolver and as he did so he pulled it away from his body for a second. Derpston reacted fast, she fired a shot right into Walton’s left hoof. Walton let out a scream and dropped his revolver. Marshal Dash tackled Walton and grappled him on the ground; she rose up her right hoof then slammed it down into Walton’s face, knocking him out. She reached out to her flank and grabbed a pair of handcuffs and locked up Walton’s hooves.
“Your one hell of a shot, Mrs. Derpston. Why don’t you check in with me next time your in town.” Marshal Dash threw the unconscious Walton onto her back.
“I don’t see being a policemare as my future.”
“Neither did I Mrs. Derpston, I’ll tell you that!” Marshal Dash cantered down the trail and was out of sight. Joan took off her hat and stared into the rising moon, the light wind blew her mane about. She returned her hat to her head.
“Now ain’t this a nightmare!” Joan weaved between the dead bodies and galloped down the trail.
It was the middle of the night by the time Derpston trotted into her hut on the north end of Sweet Apple Acres. She lurked into her bed and let the darkness of Nightmare Moons night take her over.
Joan pushed her way out the door and squinted at the bright sunlight beaming down at her. “Jeez Celestia, will you ever give me a break.” She looked around the small village, nopony else was outside yet. But a wagon was sitting near the barn. Joan saw a little orange flash jump from in the wagon to in the barn and back and forth. Joan trotted closer and closer till she recognized that it was Gala who was there. She stopped and noticed Joan walking to her.
“Well, Mrs. Derpston how are you?”
Joan tipped her hat respectfully to Gala, “Good, Miss MacApple, how are you?”
Gala tossed a barrel she had dragged to the wagon in the back of it, “I’m heading down to ponyvile to sell some of the early harvest from up here. Would you like to accompany me back?”
Derpston looked over the wagon, “Why of course, it is about time I started paying you back for your hospitality and kindness.”
“I’ll pull the wagon; you can handle a rifle right?”
“I believe I can.”
“Good then you can sit in the back and watch my back, bandits been stirring up trouble in these parts.” Gala walked to the front and put the wagons harness around her body and Joan jumped in the wagons back. “So you been putting your life needlessly in danger lately?” she asked as she started to pull the wagon.
“No miss, I have not.”
Gala chuckled lightly, “Oh good! Maybe we have some hope left for you?”
“I wouldn’t bet on it” Joan picked up the rifle and rested it and her two front hooves on the back end of the wagon.
“There is always hope, Mrs. Derpston. You can’t live in this wonderland without believing that.”
“That’s an admirable attitude, Miss.”
“It’s the only way to stay sane out here to be frank, have you ever given up hope altogether?”
Joan dipped her head down and bit, “I don’t really think hope has ever entered the equation. It’s not something I really think about.
“That’s a…peculiar outlook. Can’t say I understand you though.”
“Can’t say I do either.”
“Now stop being so deliberately enigmatic.”
“Hope may not be in my dictionary, Miss MacApple. But enigmatic sure as hell is.”
Gala rolled her eyes at Joan, “I think its funny I save you from dying on the side of the road and now you’re my bodyguard.”
“You got yourself a strange sense of humor,” laughed Derpston.
“Well admit it…this is a very unusual way to start a friendship.”
“I didn’t know that we was friends, Miss MacApple.”
“Oh please! I don’t know what your business with Miss Dyslex is but I know for sure you ain’t like her or any of her bad apples.”
“And how do you know I ain’t still like her?”
“Well you haven’t shot me yet that’s one thing. You may have done some bad things but, what pony hasn’t.”
“There’s a valuable lesson I learned from being an outlaw, you do a pony wrong and he’ll shoot you. Do a pony right and….well he still may shoot you.”
“Ha! I’ve heard strange metaphors before but this is…” the road ahead was littered with broken wagon wheels and wagon parts, a small pool of blood lay in the middle of the road, but no bodies, no animal or ponies were to be seen in the area. “Keep your eyes straight Joan, this doesn’t look to pretty.”
Joan scouted the right side of the road; it was a thick and evil looking forest. Joan squinted her eyes, something was in there, and something was moving. The sun glared off of a metallic object, a weapon! “Gala take cover!” BANG! Joan fired the rifle at the object and hit what ever was holding it. Then, gunfire riddled the road side as a small group of ponies showed themselves and began firing on the wagon. Gala had thrown off the wagon harness and was hiding behind the wagon.
“Joan toss me your revolver.” Joan threw her revolver over to Gala, she caught it and started firing at there assailants. Joan closed her eyes for a minute and thought to herself, Concentrate, Concentrate, Concentrate. She opened her eyes and she could feel her eyes moving inward, her left eye drooped down and her right one raised up a bit. She closed them again, and popped her head out of cover and opened her eyes. The world went slow around her; Joan could see everything clearly now that she could see everypony so clearly. Joan rapidly fired 5 shots out of the rifle, hitting and killing a pony with each shot. The 3 remaining ponies fled down the road.
“That’s right! Run you cowards!” yelled Gala.
“If I see any of you ponies ever again. I am going to make you wish your mommy and daddy wasn’t so reckless!” Joan also yelled at the fleeing ponies.
“You sure know how to handle that rifle now do you!”
“I may have had some previous experience with them.”
“You saved my life, Mrs. Derpston. I think we can consider your debt paid.”
“Thank you, Miss MacApple.”
“I say! Maybe Dyslex did get lucky after all.”
The 2 continued down the road with the wagon, finally they arrived in Ponyvile, it was approximately noon. The wagon came to a halt in front of a traders store, Joan hopped out of the back of the wagon.
“Once again thank you! Now I believe this belongs to you.” She gave back Joan’s revolver.
“And this belongs to you.” Joan said placing the rifle in front of Gala.
“I was thinking that you could keep it from now on. It will most certainly get more use with you.”
“Why thank you again, Miss MacApple.” Joan picked up the rifle and fastened it into a harness she had on her back.
“Now I gotta go take whatever isn’t full of bullets in the wagon into the trader. Then I’m off to the main farm again. So till next time!”
Gala went into the traders, Joan looked around town, things seemed much brighter today. The ponies were all smiles and they walked about with a happy gait. The Doctor walked around the street corner and noticed Derpston standing there; they started walking towards each other.
“Why hello Joan I was just…” The doctor began but was interrupted by Joan jumping on him and wrapping her hooves around him in a hug.
“So how have you been?” Joan said as she stopped hugging the Doctor.
“Well I decided to look into some of our old photos, and I found 2 things I thought you’d want to see. So please follow me.” The Doctor led them through a back alley and into his office/home. He went over to a couple of boxes in the back room and dragged one of them over. He opened it and pulled out a small booklet. “Look, our wedding photos, all 5 of them!” The first photo was of Joan and the Doctor next to the altar, The Doctor was in an all black tuxedo and Joan was wearing a very opulent dress. The second one was of there first kiss after being married, Joan glanced awkwardly at the doctor but he didn’t notice, the 2 of them were of Joan and the Doctor at Trottingham, and the last one was at Comet Rock.
“So what ever became of my dress?” asked Joan giving the doctor a mean look.
“Wasn’t it a rental or maybe we sold it…don’t look at me like that!” the Doctor yelled after getting a scowling look from Joan. “Any who, look what else I found.” The doctor reached into the box and flung out a large old duster coat. “It’s your old coat. I thought you might want it. You told me a lot about how much you loved it.”
Joan gave the Doctor a very derpy-eyed smile, “This is wonderful, Doctor.” She picked up the coat, “I’m going to go put it on.”
A few minutes later, Joan Derpston came out of the back room with the duster coat on. The large coat covered most of the clothes she was already wearing, but it more importantly made her look like a bad flank(bad horse pun, I know).
“Now you look like a real cowmare again. You look ready to go get Dyslex, I know we aren’t truly ready but…well you know what I’m saying.” The Doctor hugged Joan. “Now go see Marshal Dash, the more you help her, the more likely she’ll help us.”
Joan tipped her hat respectfully then she left and walked to Marshal Dash’s office.
“Consarn it, Joan! You are just in time to hear the greatest news you’ve heard all week! So you know that coward we caught yesterday.”
“I do recall us catching some low life vermin yesterday.”
“Well he already talked. I sent my deputy’s to check the area of Pike’s Basin that Walton told us about. Haha! That was the easiest interrogation I ever done did in my life.”
Suddenly, the 2 deputies came charging around a bend and down a path towards the office. “Marshal! Marshal! Walton wasn’t lying, he’s got the Bollard Twins workin for him! And they was carryin some big crates!” yelled Snipes.
Marshal Dash had a satisfied look on her face, “Awwww Yeah! Good work boys.” She stamped he hoof down and spread her wings out! Joan reflected on that she still couldn’t even feel her left wing. In this position she looked very threatening. She folded her wings back in, “Alright, we’ll go now and sort them out. Joan will you fight with us?”
“Will YOU fight with ME?” asked Joan.
Marshal Dash smiled at Derpston, “I will consider it a top priority to fit it in my…busy schedule.”
“Than it would be my pleasure.” The 4 of them galloped down the road, the last time that Marshal Dash had helped Joan out was about 4 or 5 years ago. After the Doctor and Joan ran away from the gang together, they sought the help from at the time, Marshal’s Deputy Dash Johnson. The doctor helped medically in Trottingham and Joan did mercenary work for the lawmen there. Dash Johnson was promoted and moved to Ponyvile and Joan and the Doctor lived in a small estate outside of Trottingham where they were also married at. Then the Doctor disappeared, and then Joan had her daughter.
As they trotted down a rocky Cliffside, Joan pondered a certain thought. After Epileps went crazy and disappeared, Schizo and Dyslex tried to turn a new leaf and live a life like me and the doctor, having seen how successful we was living. Ironically, together is how they wished to live there life. I was even invited to there wedding, but…Dyslex was left at the altar, then she to went mad with emotions and murdered an entire brothel full of whorses. She left town that morning in a bloody bridal gown. Now, I wondered, Joan thought to herself. Had Schizo not left her…would I even be on this hopeless quest?
“They were setting up camp when we spotted them.” Snipes told the group.
“Alright, I know that some of them fillies ain’t the egghead type. But they ain’t dumb either. They’ll have posted a guard.” Said Marshal Dash.
When the group reached a split in the path Marshal Dash turned to the taller skinnier of her deputies. “Trails, what path should we take?” “Well…both paths go to the middle valley, but the upper path will have better sight on it but you’ll be more open. The lower path will be more crowded but has more cover.”
“Joan come with me on the upper path, Snipes and Trails take the lower path. Be careful of any watch ponies.” Marshal Dash turned to Joan. “It’s me and you again. Let’s hope it goes as well as last time.” The 2 moved up the higher path, the twilight sky was beginning to illuminate the dusk clouds and was creating a very pretty open air picture. “Its pretty ain’t it Joan, that sky, its just…one of those little things you come to appreciate in this bloody land we live in.”
Joan stared at the glorious mix of colors in the sky, “Yea, yea it is.”
“So, how long have you been working for the Futurism Bureau?”
“I don’t work for them.”
“Not what the letters I receive have said.”
“Well I ain’t got much choice but to cooperate for them.”
“Ah! So you’s bein forced to do there bidding?”
“So it would seem…hey…first guard up ahead.”
There was one pony who was watching from the upper path, his back was turned to us as he watched the surrounding hill side. “Alright, I’m going to try and take him down silently. If you starts fighting me off I’m gonna need you to help. But use that knife of yours instead of your gun.” Joan nodded in agreement. Dash spread her wings out, she ducked down and jumped forward, she flew fast and grabbed the pony and quickly flew him over to Joan. She had covered his mouth with her hoof. She placed her other hoof on the back of his head and twisted his head to the right rapidly. CRACK, SNAP, CRACK! The brutal sounds of neck vertebrae snapping and breaking. He was dead now. “Well if it ain’t SlickHoof Bradshaw.”
“SlickHoof Bradshaw?” Joan never heard the name before.
“Why yes. This is actually a very good thing. SlickHoof Bradshaw is one of the best marksponies in all of Equestria.”
“Well, looks like we’ve moved up a bit in the ranks now.”
The two sneaked up the hill side and found a nice spot to hide. Derpston lay on her stomach, her duster coat lying out like a skinned animal. She drew her rifle, “So how are we going to dispose of them?”
“See those wagons right there.” Dash pointed a hoof to a small group of tents and 2 wagons in the middle of them that had red looking barrels. “If that’s what I think it is, then some fireworks will be startin if ya shoot it.”
Joan took a breath of air in; she aimed down the rifles sights. She pressed her hoof on the trigger pad. Bang, KA-BOOM! The red barrels erupted into a flaming dust cloud. Tents and wagon parts went flying, ponies that weren’t in the tents near the explosion panicked and fled. Some began looking around the basin sides for there attackers, there faces drowned in exhaustion. They looked at each other, shivering in distraught and panic. They’re hands jiggled about like they had an overdose of sugar.
Marshal Dash drew her revolver, “We have to kill em, if we try reasoning with them they’ll just shoot us. There scared, ponies ain’t reasonable when scared.” Dash pointed her gun at the small group of 5 ponies. Snipes and Trails had moved up to a closer position and saw us pointing our weapons, they did the same. For a second everything stopped, as if suddenly the world ceased to turn. The world went cold, Joan felt a cold grasp on her shoulder, “Just remember who your doing this for, the ponies of Ponyvile, your daughter and husband.” That voice was a cold voice, the voice seemed to shout at Joan but she did not know what it was. The moon had just become visible, the voice echoed in Joan’s head.
“Ready, FIRE!” yelled Marshal Dash. The 4 fired on the small group…they all dropped dead. “…Joan…why, why did that feel so wrong?”
“Killing ain’t ever right, Marshal. I may enjoy killing somepony or two, ones hated or dangerous to society. But it ain’t ever right.” Joan stood up and walked down to the valley below. 2 wagons were still intact; the two deputies were inspecting the cargo on the wagons.
“Hey! Marshal, Joan, come look at this!” Snipes called them over. Joan slid down the hill and Marshal Dash flew over to them.
“What we got here boys?” asked Dash.
The two deputies opened up the cases in the first wagon. Joan gasped and Marshal Dash’s eyes widened. “Marshal we have to take this.”
“Agreed, Derpston. I will fight along side you 120% for sure with THIS on our side. Snipes, Trails, pony up were going to take this wagon back to Ponyvile. Fort Cloudsdale ain’t gonna know what hit em!”
The 4 began to pull the wagon up the basin, when they reached the top the 2 deputies strapped them selves onto the harnesses and pulled the wagon as fast as they could. Joan and Marshal Dash sat in the back, revolvers ready for any trouble on the path.
“So your help is guaranteed?”
“Joan, I am more than happy to fight with you. All we need is a vehicle to carry this thing in,” she rubbed her hoof around the crates in the back. “And some more ponies to help would be nice; I recommend you get on over to Pegasus Landing as soon as you can. They’ll be some folks there that could help. Also see if you can get some help from a…an old foreigner, she lives out in the lands somewhere. Her name is Zeth Brecora. She’s a strange one, but she’s sneaky and got a strange way with people. Her help could prove valuable.” The wagon speeded into Ponyvile and the 4 quickly hauled the supplies from the wagon of into the back of the Marshal’s house. Derpston and the Marshal shook hooves on there agreement to help each other. Then, Derpston left for the Doctors home.
While she walked, Joan looked up to the bright moon glowing at her. “I heard that voice. What do you want with me?” Just then a light breeze blew Joan’s coat and mane softly about. “Will you always be with me?”
Joan trotted into the Doctor’s office; he was standing behind his counter messing with the sonic screwdriver. “Now work you confounded thing.” The Doctor continued to mess around and jiggle little bits of the SS. It then went, BEEP, and little lights began to flicker and flash. The doctor exclaimed his victory and then noticed Joan standing by the door smirking at him. “Uh, oh um, Joan this is perfect timing indeed! Come with me hurry, HURRY!” He grabbed the SS and ran into the back room and Joan followed suit. “Now Joan, can you feel your left wing at all?” The Doctor asked Joan who was now laying on one of the patient beds.
Joan’s right wing extended out, but her left wing didn’t even move. “That would be a no.”
“This is going to hurt.” The Doctor quickly grabbed Joan’s left wing and extended it full. Derpston clenched her teeth, the pain tearing into her mind and soul. Her eyes held tightly shut as she held back the urge to scream and punch the doctor in the face. She felt her wing go cold and the pain stopped but the left side of her body felt frozen solid. What had the Doctor done? “Right now! Joan you can open your eyes.” Joan opened her eyes and the Doctor was standing in front of her smiling from ear to ear. Joan stood up and hopped off the bed; she removed her hat from her head and flipped her hair about, then returned the hat to back a top her head. Suddenly and without warning, Joan threw a strong hoof at the Doctor's muzzle.
“Ya know doctor? I don’t like pain. I don’t necessarily hate it either.” Joan glared at the Doctor.
“And I don’t like being punched in the muzzle, now be happy! The SS worked perfectly and your 100% fully healed!” He grabbed Joan’s left wing again and extended it…there was no pain, and in fact Joan could feel all the muscles in her wing again.
“Thank you, Doctor. Now if you excuse me I shall be going.” Joan tipped her hat at the Doctor and began leaving.
“WAIT!” yelled the Doctor; he trotted around in front of Joan. “Why don’t you stay with me tonight. It will be morning by the time you get back to your house in sweet apple acres.” He gave her a genuine smile, “Please.”
“But I can…fly now…” Joan said flexing her wings out. “I could just fly straight to my house.”
The Doctor sighed, “Yea that’s true.”
Joan walked up to the Doctor and rubbed her cheek against his affectionately, “Maybe some other day Doctor, we’re still married…aren’t we.” Then she turned and galloped out the door and flew off into the sky. Joan felt the wind blowing through her clothes, a colder night wind. Joan hadn’t used her wings in a very long time and she even went to the extent of hiding them behind her clothes. But, now she felt a feeling, a feeling that she hadn’t felt in a long time, Freedom. Joan landed softly at the door of her house. She looked up at the moon, “Do you think I could reach you now.” A cold breeze blew around her, Joan dipped her head and blushed a little, “Yea, you’re right. It wouldn’t be a smart idea. When will I see you next?” One last breeze rushed in and then all was quiet and still. “Until the next night! Goodbye.” Joan pushed her way into her hut and flopped on her bed. Then she was asleep. Something seemed to push her...Joan woke up. She pushed her way outside. It was still night, she looked at the moon, then to Ponyvile. Joan narrowed her eyes and flew speedily to Ponyvile. Joan landed outside of the saloon, it was busy as always, but that’s not what caught Joan’s attention. A…weird…um striped pony was walking by. She wore a strange brown hood, to be frank everything about her was strange. A weird green mud covered her hooves, “Uh hey, hey you! What’s your name?”
“Zeth Brecora be my name, and now I too wish to know the same.” The striped pony said in a rhyming sing-song voice.
“Uhhh, Joan Derpston. Marshal Dash said you could help us with Fort Cloudsdale.”
She stopped and pulled back her hood with a hoof covered in a green muck. “Fort Cloudsdale be tall and strong, with what can I help to fix what’s wrong.”
“Well…um, what can you do ma’am?” asked Joan.
“Walk with me friend. For my answer is at this paths end.”
“You’re a funny one ain’t you? Well what do you specialize in, are you a gunslinger, a hate bringer, a bell ringer, or a fools singer?” rhymed Joan, Why did I just rhyme that? thought Derpston.
“Potions and herbal mixtures is what I do. I’m sure there is some way this can help you. For you see I live alone, in a ghost town called Muzzleweed. Because of the silence my knowledge I’ve honed, I to am as quite as Tumbleweed.”
“That rhyme didn’t work so well?”
“Well why don’t you try doing it all the time. You too would find it’s hard to rhyme.”
Joan shrugged her shoulders agreeing that she wouldn’t be able to do it, “So what kind of potions could you make for us.”
“Ones for if you wish to fly or walk on the clouds. Or ones for if you want to die or bring somepony (in a sorta demonic voice) down!”
Joan gave a strange look to Zeth, “I think we’ll be fine with making ponies fly.”
“Until next time my little pony, please leave me alone please. For supplies I must find, and my own safety in my mind. Now wipe your face of that smug frown, meet me in Muzzleweed when the bandits are out of town.” She lifted her hood with her mucky hoof and walked into the forest at the end of the path.
“This may be easier than I thought.” Joan looked around town. There was a crowd of ponies rushing towards the cider saloon. “What’s going on here?” Joan trotted over to the saloon and into it. The crowd was thick with Ponyvile citizens, cowmares, stallions, and even some familiar faces.
“My, my Joan we have a strange way of meeting up in every possible place.” Spoke the Doctor as he trotted around to Joan. “Did you come for the show or a drink?”
“A show? Who would come here to play music…w-what kind of music?” She gave the Doctor a confused glare; she hadn’t noticed the music when she walked in but, now. There was a cello player and a piano player sitting next to each other. The unicorn at the piano was a pale yellow colored mare that wore blue glasses; her mane was elaborately styled and pointy, it was red and blue colored. The cello player was a dark gray mare with a slicker styled back black mane. The piano player had piano keys for a cutie mark and the other had a small music staff with notes on every line and space. The 2 were playing there instruments and the unicorn began singing; it was a beautiful flowing voice.
“Breaking my heart was so easy, so easy~, lunar assault now, take it easy~. Raise your Elements, Raise your Elements, one world, bring us har-mony. Ripping through like a rainbow, ripping through my heart. Rob me of this life~ Raise your Elements~ Raise your Elements~~, bring us har-mony~.” The cello player stomped her hoof down on each quarter note creating a basic drum beat while the pianist began building on to her piano riff. “Curve your ego. You won’t feel a thing~ Always #1. A Pegasus with a broken wing. Sign away our peace, for awards~ One world, bring it har-mony~. Dropping your bombs now, on all we’ve built~. How does it feel now, to watch us burn, burn, burn. Raise your Element~~ Raise your Element~~~. Bring us har-mony~.” The 2 musicians began playing different parts and building more on the music. Then someone called out to Joan. “Joan, Joan! Gala MacApple’s gone missing!” Marshal Dash yelled. She had flown in from above. “Her mother came in an said she hadn’t returned from her delivery yesterday morning.”
“Oh Mrs. Derpston…Mrs. Derpston, come and see me!” a mysterious stallion said from the corner of the room. He walked forward out of the shadows and looked up from the tip of his hat. He looked at Marshal Dash. “Oh My! Even better.” He chuckled.
Marshal Dash scowled at the mysterious bandit, “Where is she!? Tell us or I’ll shoot you!”
The bandit chuckled lightly, “I wouldn’t recommend that Marshal, not unless you want Miss Gala dead.”
“Tell us NOW!”
“She’s a real pretty girl, think I’ll make her my bride. Give her a little foal to take care of you know-“
“Ripping through like a rainbow.” The music started again. The pianist grinned and lifted up the top of the piano. A weird black machine raised out of it. The words on the side said, The Wub-Wub 2000 and MM Hor5-E. “Ripping through my heart, rob me of this life~ Raise your Element~ Raise your Element~~ Bring us har-mony~.”
The bandit pony looked furious and annoyed; he began yelling, “HEY! LITTLE MISS PIANIST STOP THE-“
The pianist started pressing buttons on the machine, “How does it feel now, to watch us BURN!” She sang out and hit a button on the machine and strange lights and noises began to pour out of the machine. Suddenly, gasps came from the crowd; this was, new and different. Wub was the only word that could come close to describing, whatever this was, although Joan had to admit she liked it noticing that her head was bobbing ever so slightly to the distorted beat. The crowd too liked the music, as the bar patrons were jumping up and dancing around to the music.
The bandit pony became even more enraged and was turning maroon with it. He yelled even more, although the pianist couldn’t hear him over the music, “TURN THAT INCOHERENT RACKET OFF BEFORE I HAVE TO!” He waited for a second and then drew his revolver and shot at the black piano machine. The crowd gasped once again as the music skipped about and distorted down to nothing. The pianist fell backwards off her chair. The cello player dropped her instrument and rushed to her friend helping her up.
“Ivory are you ok?” she asked.
“Were still on stage, Chromatica. So you still need to call me by my stage name.” she replied with a sarcastic angst on her face.
“Are you okay Music-Master Hor5-E (pronounced Horsy or Horse-E)?” asked Chromatica sarcastically.
“I am, but what about the Wub-Wub 2000.” She looked upon her machine. It was riddled with bullet holes and was spewing out black smoke. It sputtered occasionally and made electrical noises. To put it simply, the machine was destroyed. “No….no, not my beautiful machine!” MM Hor5-E began to cry into her chair and Chromatica tried to help comfort her.
The bandit smiled evilly, “Now that’s better.” He said as he sheathed his revolver.
“What do you want?” asked Joan.
“Walton, we want a prisoner exchange with Walton for Gala MacApple.”
“My machine, you…YOU! He broke my machine.” Could barely be heard over the discussion taking place.
The bandit pointed a green muck covered hoof to the moon that was setting, “When the sun fully shows it’s self, bring Walton to the town of-“
“YOU BROKE MY MACHINE!” yelled MM Hor5-E as she broke her chair over the bandits head. CRACK! He fell to the floor with blood pouring out onto it, his eyes were glazed over. He was dead. “He…he broke my…he broke my machine.”
Chromatica rushed over to MM Hor5-E and started trying to calm her down. Dash and Joan looked at each other, then to the body. Marshal Dash was the first one to speak, “So now what, where do we take Walton. And won’t they get suspicious when he,” she pointed to the body, “doesn’t return.”
“Wait a minute.” Joan inspected the green muck on the bandits hoof. “Zeth had the same green muck on her hooves. They might have gotten it from the same place. She mentioned something about bandits invading the town she lived in. What was it called?” Joan placed a hoof on her muzzle then realized suddenly, “Muzzleweed. Zeth lives in Muzzleweed! She left cause of the bandits.”
“I’ll rally up my deputies and get Walton, get the Doctor to come with us incase Gala or anyone else gets hurt. We ride for Muzzleweed in one hour. If we get there fast enough maybe they won't get suspicious of this fellow here.” Dash spread her wings and bolted out of the saloon.
Derpston looked at the pianist who was lying on the ground in a ball, the cello player calmly stroking the traumatized pony’s mane. “Hey you. Uh…on the ground. What’s your name?”
“Real or stage name?” she said staring blankly forward.
“Both please.”
“My stage name is Music Master Hor5-E. My real name is Ivory Keys. My fellow musician is Chromatica.” She spoke this and didn’t move her head at all, she just continued to stare forward.
“Pleased to meet you Mrs.…?” asked Chromatica.
“Joan, Joan Derpston.” Joan walked in front of Ivory so she was in her field of view, then she laid down in front of her. “Listen, your machine may be dead. But your career isn’t over. You have a wonderful voice and great piano playing skills.”
Ivory continued to stare at Joan, “I was going to revolutionize the music world. I spent 4 years of work and paychecks on the Wub-Wub 2000. Now it’s…it’s all gone.” She slowly got up, then gently trotted over to the machine. “Its been good Wub-Wub its been good. You didn’t even last past your first show. But I don’t know what I was expecting anyway.” She turned around and smiled at Joan and then looked at Chromatica. “Come on, Miss Chromatics we got a show to play in Trottingham tomorrow and I need a new piano.” She ran speedily out the saloon door.
“Ivory wait for me!” Chromatica ran towards her cello and gently placed it in the case, grabbed it, and then she ran for the door but stopped at the exit. Then she said, “Thank you Mrs. Derpston.” And the she was gone.
The saloon had been completely cleared of ponies, due to the panic caused by the death of the bandit. Nopony at all was in the bar, only Joan remained. Joan walked up to the pool of maroon on the ground. The bandits body had been taken away but his blood remained. “Chairs hurt don’t they.” She looked at the exit, then back to the pool of blood, then to the exit. She trotted out of the exit and into the still dark streets of Ponyvile.
“Hey, Joan!” Yelled the voice of Ivory. She was in the back of a metal plated wagon. “I want you to have this.” She jumped out of the back, “It’s the least I can do. And I’m sure you’ll find a use for it.” She smiled and you could see her eyes sparkle behind her glasses. “The metal plated sides even fold up to make a top cover incase of rain….hmm…I always liked the sound of rain on metal. Uh, anyway thanks. Come to a show sometime. Bye!” Then she quickly ran off to a smaller wagon that Chromatica was sitting in. The 2 waved good bye and then they were gone.
A voice spoke, “She’ll end up getting married to a royal palace guard, then they’ll have a little colt born to them, then they’ll have a grandchild named Vinyl Scratch or as her stage name will be DJ-P0N3.” It was the Doctor. “It has come to my attention that you just inherited this wagon and that you will be needing my help when you go to Muzzleweed. I have packed a small medical bag in accordance with this mission.”
“Doctor, how do you know about Ivory’s life and future? Can you tell me mine?”
“Joan your story is already written, if I tell you the details of it then you could possibly erase parts of it. I’m a time lord, Joan. Messing with your future or your past could result in dire consequences. Now, Joan I do believe that the sun is coming up. Time to head out to Muzzleweed.” Joan and the Doctor walked side by side to the Marshal’s office.
Dash carried out Walton, who was tied up, and placed him inside a small wooden wagon. “This is what happens when the Bureau interferes with our affairs!”
“I told you I don’t work for the government.” Joan said as they began to gallop out of town.
“You say that Joan but all I know for sure is who sent you.”
“They made me come here, I had no choice. That’s your government, Miss Johnson.”
“They come down here dressed like the king of diamonds, spreadin’ all there flannel about peace and civilization. Really all they doin’ is bringing more trouble and taxes.”
“I agree Marshal, there wolves in sheep’s clothing.”
“Celestia herself has been spewing out hootenanny about establishing a better society when the last monsters have been destroyed. Am I safe to assume that everypony in this world is crazy. We can’t control the lands we already have, but our dear Princess goes ahead and expands Equestria over double its size. Now we got a whole new mess of troubles south of us. Nuevo Equestria is nothing but a gilded mistake. While she worries about monsters in the far south lands she can’t seem to see the grim reaper in front of her.” Marshal Dash ranted on. The whole group ran onward for a while, the sun was now setting. It would be night soon.
“Tell me about Muzzleweed, I wanna know what were going into.” Asked the Doctor, who had ran up next to Joan.
Trails was the first to respond, “Muzzleweed used to be a good little town, wasn’t to big but wasn’t to small either. Consisted of normal ponies living there normal pony lives. But when the railroads went to Ponyvile and curved down to Nuevo Equestria, all the ponies up and left turning it into a ghost town. Now its inhabited by animals, bandits, thieves, drug-addicts, or someone like Zeth Brecora.”
“Sounds like a quant little village were going to.” The Doctor sarcastically remarked.
“Muzzleweed is on the very southwestern edge of the Everfree Mountains. Creepy things happen in those mountains, in that forest, by that lake. If its Everfree, then its creepy.” Snipes remarked, then he grinned. “That bandit pony is really lucky. If that green stuff on his hooves was Everfree muck.”
“Why’s that, Snipes?” asked Joan.
“Snakes! Lot’s of em inhabit the mud pools. They don’t attack you unless you start stomping in there muck, but they’s some nasty critters.”
Joan dipped her head, the Doctor noticed this. “What’s wrong, dear?” he asked.
“I…hate…snakes.” Was all she said, and all she needed to say.
The group continued galloping around the Everfree Mountains, a mansion on a hill began to become visible with the sun just barely above it. Soon a raggedy old town became visible in the small valley below. “That bandit was at Fort Cloudsdale when I first went there, makes me wonder what Dyslex wants with this coward.”
“She probably thinks that with Walton’s men at her side they can over power any attack we make.” The dust sprayed up into the air as the group stopped at the entrance to Muzzleweed. “But I know one thing for sure, were getting Miss MacApple back, even if we all die trying. Snipes, Trails, if we don’t make it, it’s been a pleasure having you as my deputies. Doctor, you’ve done nothing but help the town of Ponyvile, we are in your debt as it is, and I’m glad you came along. Derpston, not gonna lie, you’re the reason were in this mess, but I wouldn’t want any other gunslinger to be here with me today. Now fillies and gentlecolts,” Marshal Dash drew her revolver, “Lets go save Gala MacApple!”
Next Time: The Hanging of Gala MacApple
Chapter 5: The Hanging of Gala MacApple(I Know You!)
“Joan we’ll be right behind you, your making the prisoner exchange in the middle of town, and don’t expect them to play fair.” The marshal said as Snipes threw Walton in front of her.
“Fair my flank!” yelled Walton as he stood up, hobbling around a bit in his hoofcuffs.
“You bet, besides, silly ol’ Walton here is going to be my shield.”
“Oh it’d be my pleasure!” Walton sarcastically replied as he shuffled forward, Walton and Joan walked towards the middle of town. “That gangs probably having so much fun with that lil’ cowmare. I hear they like it r-” WHACK! Joan hit Walton with the butt of her revolver. “Now little girl, don’t be to hostile or they’ll take that pretty little face off as soon as they see you.”
“I already blew a hole in your leg once, I’ll do it again.” Joan smirked as they entered the center of town. 3 Bandit ponies walked out of the shadows, Joan recognized the pony on the right of the center one, the one who shot her. “Where is Gala MacApple?”
“We don’t make deals with the law!” The center pony drew his revolver; Joan kicked Walton forward and flew to the right as quick as she could. The bandits fired a shot, they all missed but Joan’s wings folded in, that strange feeling of adrenaline pulsing through her body. As if her mind feared the imminent dangers of being shot once again. This happened for all pegasi, flight is a delicate procedure, not a simple movement of wings but an art of beauty, when a corrupted projectile spreads the disease upon its beauty then it will no longer maintain its graceful nature. Joan’s inertia carried her into the building she was flying towards, she tumbled and rolled into the cabin. She coughed as she inhaled some dust that was kicked up by her flying body.
“I like guns, but I hate what they do to your wings.” Joan said forcing her wings to spread out then another gunshot caused them to fold back in. “Like our bodies naturally react to he sounds of bullets, the adrenaline flows to fast and your wings collapse in fear.”
“Joan, I ain’t no scientist, but you sure as hell sound like one now!” Marshal Dash peeked her head around the corner to see the 3 bandits still standing where they had first appeared. A bloody body lay in front of them, “They shot Walton, It was a trap!” (Thanks Marshal Dashbar, see what I did thar! :3)
Then a rifle shot rang through the abandoned town, the mare to the left of the center stallion flew backwards. Blood trickled out of a fleshy hole in her chest. The center stallion flailed his revolver about looking upon the hillsides for who was shooting at them. BANG! Blood splattered across the muddy ground, the stallion stood there for but one more second, then he collapsed. The pony that had shot Joan stood there, she did not move, she did not even blink. Joan walked out of the hut. “Joan Wait!” yelled Marshal Dash, but Joan did not stop.
“Why don’t you move? Why don’t you run? Why don’t you fight?” Joan asked the mare, her curly hair refused to even sway in the wind. “Why? You don’t even have a gun on you.”
“I know when the gun is in the other hoof, when the power lies beyond my own. I gave in to that charlatan and now I’m here in front of my own personal grim. It’s only right to return the favor ain’t it. Besides, there are only 2 mares left in Dyslex’s, she said I’ve been used up. I’ve heard the others get those words, then…they was gone.”
Joan drew her revolver, “Do you really wanna die by my hooves?”
The mare stood firmly, “Better your hooves than hers.” She spoke this with undeniable confidence that this…was how it should end. Upon hearing this, Joan shot the mare in the forehead with out even glancing at her.
“And now there is 1.”
Snipes and trails ran down to the Marshal from the hillside, “Did she just kill an unarmed pony?” gasped Snipes.
“She was asking for death, and Joan wasn’t going to deny her that.” Marshal stared at Joan who had doffed her hat to the mare she just killed. “Good Shooting, Snipes. Trails what is a good way for us to attack from here?”
“Well, we could attack them from the marsh sides of town, but there’s lots of Everfree muck in that area. Other than that a straight forward attack is our only other option.” Trails concluded his statement by looking at Joan strangely, “Hey where are you going?!”
Joan had run off down the hill a small group of the bandits were gathered around the town gallows, a light orange mare was standing in the middle of the gallows. The ropes tied around her neck.
“Welcome Joan Derpston. To the Hanging of Gala MacApple! Joan would you care to do the honors or is the pleasure all ours? HAHAHA!” The stallion standing by Gala laughed out, soon his comrades joined in.
“Joan, I’d appreciate it if you were to give me a hoof here.”
“Shut up you lascivious prick!” The stallion screamed at Gala. “Now for the MANE EVENT!”
BANG! A bullet flew into the stallion who was about to kick the chair out from Gala, the stallions body flew back a tiny bit but his leg continued to move towards the chair. The back chair flew out from under Gala’s hooves, her backside sunk down and her front hooves kicked the other chair away with her panicked kicking. The hanging had begun.
“NO!” yelled Marshal Dash from behind Joan. Joan grabbed her revolver, the groggy atmosphere became inflated in warmth the sun barely visible behind the mansion on the hill, with the warmth came a calm vibe a ritardando of red encased Joan’s vision. Her left eye drooped down and her right eye moved inward. BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! Six shots, six bloody pools. The remaining bandits grabbed there weapons.
“Joan look out!” yelled the Doctor, he pointed his strange screwdriver device at a bandit in the middle of the small group had something giving off a shimmering light. The Doctor pressed a button with his hoof, the shimmering light blew up in a glorious explosion. The Doctor let out an exasperated breath.
Joan jumped in the air, she gripped her hunting knife in her hoof. Joan flew into the rope holding Gala up, with one quick slice the rope cut in half. The last bandit standing in front of Joan shot at her, the bullet caught part of Joan’s ear. Her wings folded in and she fell on top of the bandit. Anger, rage, despair, revenge. Her heart beat pounded through her shaking the very ground, “DON’T EVER,” Joan stabbed her silver blade into the bandits chest, “EVER” she thrusted downward into the stallions throat, “HURT MY FRIENDS!” she continued to stab the corpse, thud, thud, thud, blood caked the decaying surroundings, Joan’s silver hunting knife was now scarlet with death. Each stab yielded more and more blood splattering about, with each stab a break, a snap, or a squish that made your eyes turn inside out in there very sockets.
“Dear Celestia, Joan. He’s dead!” yelled Marshal Dash. Joan stopped with her blood drenched blade in the air, droplets of blood dripped to the ground. She let her blade slide out of her hoof, she stared…her hooves her coat, her clothes…her face. Were all caked in this stallions blood.
Joan looked up into the moon that now shone above her, “That…that wasn’t me. I-I…are you sure?” The wind blew heavily around Joan. She leaned her head to the right as if to rest it on her shoulder. Rain drops began to fall on the stained town. “Thank you…” Joan stood up; the rain had now washed away most of the blood on her, though some still remained. “Doctor, how is Gala?”
The Doctor was holding Gala in his arms, the SS in his mouth, pointed at her throat. He spit the SS into his hoof then said, “Well good news and bad news, good news: she is going to be fine. Bad news: she will probably catch a cold. I’m going to have her stay at my office over the night. And I recommend we get her back there as fast as possible.” Gala was unconscious but everyone there trusted the doctor was right. They carried her off to the cart they had carried Walton in. Everyone had trekked up the hill, but Joan sat staring at the bandit’s body. “Hey, go ahead without us. When you get into town, put her in the beds in the back of my office,’ the Doctor yelled. He trotted over to Joan. “What was with you out here?” His voice was calm but with a tone of curiosity, he was searching for an answer.
“I…I don’t know.” Joan looked at the ground, staring at her hooves. “Doctor, am I crazy?”
“What do you mean crazy, Joan? Were all a bit looney. Somepony will always think your stories and your life is farfetched. What do you think would happen if I went around yelling; I TRAVEL THROUGH SPACE AND TIME! Ponies would think I belong in the Canterlot Correctional Facility.” He wrapped his hoof around Joan’s shoulder, “Now come on dear, we need to get out of this rain.”
“DOCTOR I TALK TO THE MOON!” Joan yelled suddenly creating a great surprise in the Doctor. “I talk to the moon, it answers back. I’m crazy aren’t I?” Joan stared at the doctor. “What am I, I just got done murdering this pony here. And then the mare on the hill, I killed her too.”
The Doctor reached a hoof out and touched Joan’s right ear, the tip of it seared in pain. The Doctor’s hoof had a small streak of blood on it, “Well you may have forgotten that he shot your ear a bit. Only the tip put some gauze on it, it will heal up in about a day or so. But still Joan, I’m not gonna lie to you, you did take it a bit over board with the stabbing.”
“Between my anger and pain, I guess I just…couldn’t help it.” Joan began to walk forward away from the town and the Doctor followed. Every step they took, they’re hooves sunk a little into the mud. Joan stared up at the moon again, the Doctor observed her; she blankly stared at the moon. Then, suddenly she blushed and glanced at the doctor, he raised his eyebrow curiously.
“What’s it saying? The moon?” The Doctor stared up at it, the moon didn’t seem to stand out or have anything like an evil smile or eyes to stare at him, it was just…The Moon.
“I don’t know.” Joan looked at the doctor and he gave her a curious look. “We could…I say this rain you brought is deffinatly making my decision easier.” The rain had soaked The Doctor and Joan, both there manes were now lying down, becoming flat with water weight. “…Wait? New Paradise? What do you mean?...” A strong gust blew by…the rain stopped…all was calm.
“She’s a cryptic one ain’t she?”
Joan blankly stared at the Doctor, then she just giggled, “Yea, let’s go home.”
“She’s fast asleep, that’s good. She needs it.” The Doctor said, “Are you staying or going home.”
Joan smiled, removing her hat, her wet mane flopping out from under it, dripping water across the floor, “I’ll be staying here tonight.”
“Then go upstairs and lay your clothes out to dry…I’ll be up in a few minutes.” The Doctor smiled back. Joan quickly thought to herself, ‘I hope he doesn’t dry off while he’s down there he looks…’ Joan entered the Doctor’s room. The room itself was decently sized and had one bed with one nightstand at the right of it. Joan removed her still sopping wet clothes and laid them out neatly on a chair. Joan jumped on the Doctor’s bed then she laid on it with her legs tucked under her. Staring, staring at the doorway, waiting, just waiting…waiting for the Doctor.
The Doctor walked up stairs to find Joan lying on the bed…asleep. The Doctor giggled at the sight. She had passed out, don’t blame her, saving your friends(and murder) is tiring stuff. Joan’s head laid on its side, her mouth open with a small amount of drool seeping out of it. The Doctor trotted lightly over to her sleeping body and looked her over; her sleek gray coat was littered with droplets of sweat and rain. The Doctor smiled a tiny bit then climbed into the bed and snuggled in next to Joan.
“Thanks Joan and thank you too Doctor. I’d be dead if it weren’t for you two.” It was the morning after and Gala MacApple had awoken. “That’s twice you’ve saved my life.”
“Well you seemed really busy down there so I decided to help out” laughed Joan.
Gala smirked at Joan, “Now if your expecting me to joke about being ‘all tied up’ then you got another thing coming. But, I’d like to add myself to your roster of fighters for the attack on Fort Cloudsdale, that is…if you’ll have me.”
“It’s a dangerous mission, you, me, the Doctor, and Marshal Dash and her deputies, we could all die. Are you sure you want too?” Joan asked, she feared for the young mares life. She had already put her through unwanted terrors but…if she were to die. “I would never forgive myself if you died.”
“And I won’t forgive myself if I don’t help. So will you have me?”
Joan smiled under her hat, “Only if you promise not to get killed.”
“You got yourself a deal then.”
The Doctor trotted in, “Ahem, but for now, you need to rest, you’ve been through a lot and we don’t want you to get hurt before our ‘suicide’ mission.”
“I can help even more.” Gala said to Joan, she sat up in her bed, wincing a little bit from the soreness of her body, “In Pegasus Landing, search for a stallion named Celt, he’s a strange drunkard, but he’s also a strong fighter. He’ll help, tell him about the Burning in Baltimare, he’ll understand.” The bruising underneath her eyes had started to show since last night and v-cut into her right ear.
“Thank you Gala, I’ll head there right now,” Joan ran to the stairs and up them, she burst into the Doctors room and grabbed her jacket in her mouth. When she turned around the Doctor was standing behind her. “Yes Doctor, what is it?”
He trotted up to her, circled her, “Ahhh! Yes, I thought I noticed something strange last night.”
“Strange, Doctor, the time lord is saying something about ME is strange…”
“Yes, but strange for a mare like you, so care to share with me about your lack of cutie mark?” Joan stood where she was and did not move, she was the same age as Gala, and Gala had hers. In fact, Joan believed she was the only pony her age in Equestria that was like this, well that and.
“You see, nopony in the gang had there’s, Epileps, Schizo, Dyslex, me, and even the others that were in it before me, none of them had there marks. I guess gunslingin’ and outlaw behavior gets you nothin. Why do you think I wear PANTS, Doctor.”
The Doctor walked in front of Joan and began nuzzling his face against hers, “Maybe you and our daughter can get it at the same time. Wouldn’t that be nice?” His voice calmed and reassured Joan, she smiled, a genuinely happy smile. “Now, Pegasus Landing is a…well we need more then one word to describe how vile that place is. Lascivious, derisive, toxic, prideful, opulent, backstabbing and all in one cliff-side…just be careful dear.”
“Am I ever not?” Joan said chuckling.
The Doctor wrapped his hooves around her, “Just don’t come back with new bullet wounds.”
The sky was blank today. No clouds, only blinding and blistering sunshine. The Cliffside town of Pegasus Landing was visible from even the Doctors office. The large cliff cave-ins as well as the protruding “landing” that gave the place its name. As Joan flew over small forests and hill-sides, one thing stuck out of all those. A strange stallion stood on a small hillside, the hillside contained a small rocky drop off beneath it. Joan landed behind the strange stallion; he was wearing a navy blue suit with a matching top hat. His white Pegasus wings stuck out from his suit. His white face stared off into the now setting sun.
“Welcome Joan. Joan Derpston.” He spoke. Joan didn’t move, nor say anything but she stared at the strange stallion. “Beautiful isn’t it. The setting sun on a ‘peaceful’ Equestria day. Oh. That’s right, you prefer the calm glorious nights, the sight of the white glowing moon. Does it, speak to you Joan? Speak to you more than the sun?”
“Do I know you?” Joan asked.
“I’d hope so. I seem to know you.” He continued to stare at the setting sun.
“I’m pretty good at remembering faces.”
“Are you? Do you remember Minuto Colget’s face?”
“Who?”
“She was a mare Epileps van de Lia shot in the head on that raid on the train a few years back. Same one you got shot on. Pretty girl…until her eyes was hanging out by a tendon, and her brain was painted over a wall.”
“Not really.”
The strange stallion turned around, his eyes were an icy blue, “Then why would you remember me, friend? You’ve forgotten far more important ponies than me.”
“What’s your game, friend?”
“I don’t have a game, Joan. Listen, sometimes I just wish I knew more about life. I wish I’d had better guidance, friend of mine, he’s drunk as a salt miner, in the saloon in Pegasus Landing. I think he’s going to cut out his dear life. Why don’t you head over there, and see if you can advise him on how best to proceed.”
Joan’s eyes began to droop, “What do you think I am?” she asked angrily.
“I know what you are, Joan. Just if you’ve got the time, friend.” The strange stallion turned around and watched the sun continue to set.
Joan turned around and began to fly towards her initial destination, if she was lucky she’d run into Celt and the strange stallions friend.
The town of Pegasus Landing came closer and closer, lights and buildings became more detailed and flying bodies became visible in and around the landing. Joan set all four hooves down upon the gray and rocky landing. Only pegasi and unicorns could get to this place easily. Unless taken by a flying coach although such services were only for the richer in wealth rather than the richer of skill. Though who would want to go to this place. It was cold and bland to look upon, yet it felt more…more like a home to her. The stone and wood buildings were bright and busy with ponies running and flying about, colts and fillies played about in the streets. Joan entered the mouth of the cave and was astonished, this place was huge.
“When do you think the renovations on Fort Cloudsdale will be done?” a pony asked another one she was talking to.
“I ain’t sure, she said that cloudstruction had begun but, that was a couple months ago. Something must have happened. Plus I heard there plannin’ to move it northwest of Ponyvile.”
The other mare smiled, “well at least it will be closer.”
Joan found the saloon in a dimly lit corner of the giant cave, lights and music rang out of the saloon. A small group of mares stood outside of the doors, they was all prim and gussied up, “Howdy-doo~ there miss mare.” One of the mares cooed at her with her eyes half closed, “want us to make your time here…worth while~” The mares giggled and swung around Joan. “Come on, haven’t you ever wanted to visit the dark side of the mare?”
“I have heard plenty of sick jokes in my life before, but your hookers game is the worst of them all!” Joan laughed hysterically and even snorted at the mares who had stopped dancing about. “I’d rather pay you to leave me alone, then for your services.”
The middle one stomped her hoof down, “Come-on girls! She’s no fun like that teary eyed stallion.” The other mares mimicked after her, “No Fun, No Fun, No Fun!”
Joan thought to herself, ‘teary eyed stallion eh?’ She trotted around the corner of the saloon and saw a small stallion behind a box near the back door. He was sniffling, snorting, and mumbling to himself. A small revolver laid at his feet, “Ahem, excuse me mister.”
He looked up at Joan, his yellow coat glistened with tears, his fusillade of tears streamed out of his eyes, he cleared his throat and cried out in a shaky voice. “Y-yeah?...What the b-buck d-do you want…?”
“Look, don’t ask how, but” the stallion looked down at the revolver on the ground, eyeing it with melancholic intent. “I know what you’re about to do, you don’t wanna do this.”
The stallion smiled ever so slightly though the sadness in his eyes burnt straight through it, “The hell you t-talking about?” His tone was sarcastic, but it betrayed himself, he knew that Joan could tell.
“You know what I’m talking about, mister. I’m just here to say I don’t think you should go through with it.” She reached a hoof out to comfort the stallion but he brushed her off.
“My wife left me, my son’s gone to Celestia knows where, I’m the only earth pony in Pegasus Landing…I was born this way, a-and I’m too poor t-to afford the sky wagon trips. A-and because of t-that I’ve got enough hard cider in m-me to kill a filly. What reasons d-do I got left…” He picked up the revolver in his hoof, but did not move it from there.
“Your son, he loves you, your wife might be gone, but I’m sure you still have friends and family that love you. I’ve seen a lot of ponies take this way out…let me tell you, it’s the cowards way. And you ain’t no coward are ya?” Joan lowered the stallion’s revolver and took it in her hooves. “Are ya?”
The stallion stood up and wiped his face off, though it was quickly covered in tears again, “Ma’am, yous right, I ain’t no coward. I ain’t! I-I don’t know w-who you are, but I guess I’m grateful. Yous right. T-there’s others out there. I’m better than…THIS!” He raised his head up to look into Joan’s face.
“Don’t mention it, go on now.” He nodded and walked into the alley, Joan put a hoof to her muzzle and thought for a second, “Hey wait!” she yelled at him, he stopped and turned around. “Do you know a Pegasus by the name of Celt?”
The stallion’s teary eyed expression melted into a smile, “Yea, he’s a bartender in this here saloon. Tell em’ Dusk sent ya, that should get ya at the least, a drink on me.” He smiled again and trotted off around the corner.
The saloon was very moody; the whole area was entombed in the smell of smoke, though it was a sweeter smell than that of Joan’s own smokes (which she hadn’t delved into since her daughter was taken). The dim lights added a strange atmosphere to the saloon, it was much more calming than the noise of the Ponyvile saloon. A bluish unicorn was playing a calm and swinging tune while a maroon pegasus plucked along on an upright (bass). Joan made her way through the smoky bar, the large scarlet stallion behind the bar spoke to Joan first, “Welcome to The Landing, how can I help you?” he had a strange accent, sounded like a higher pitched version of the doctors accent, yet he maintained a strange rough hearted ness.
“Dusk said I got a drink on him, and…I’m looking for a pegasus by the name of Celt.” Joan asked the stallion, he heaved his large body off the bar table and filled up a wooden mug with cider.
He grunted and threw himself on top of the table again, “There you are, and here I am.”
“Hello, Mr. Celt.”
“It’s pronounced Selt”
“How’s it spelled?”
“C-E-L-T”
“Wouldn’t it be pronounced Kelt?”
The stallion smiled, “It would, but I prefer it pronounced my way. Now missy what do you need.”
Joan took a sip of the cider cup, the warm apple drink slid down her throat and spread throughout her body; it gave her heart a strange happy feeling. She needed to get the Doctor to drink some of this. “A friend of mine said that you could help.”
He got really close to Joan, his hot breath reeked of cider, “I ain’t known by many ma’am.”
“She said that I should mention the Burning in Baltimare. Does that ring in your head?” Joan took in another gulp of cider, the warmth flowing in her, she felt herself sinking into the atmosphere of the bar, the music melting into her ears.
Celt spoke and brought her back, “Now only 1 mare I know would be able to get my help out of that old fiasco. That Apple family gal.” He hopped off the bar and took off his apron, he then spoke to the other bartender, “Welsh, I have some business to take care of, might not be coming back…ever. So your in control round here now, buddy.” He walked around the bar as Joan finished her cider, “Follow me missy, we needs to talk.” The two walked out of the bar and back into the dim caves of Pegasus Landing, with the change of scenery was a change in temperature, from warm to a disturbing cold.
“My name is Joan, by the way. And what exactly happened at the Burning in Baltimare.”
The stallion held a straight face, “I used to be a sergeant in the Royal Air Force, she saved my life, and I traveled with them after that till they settled in Ponyvile. Then I came here, so what’s your story ma’am.”
“Mines not as…clean as yours….I used to ride with a gang. They left me to die after I’d been shot. I left the gang after the gang left me. I tried to go straight, and I did. Then I got in more trouble.”
He laughed, “Ha! Trouble, seems like that’s all we got in these times. Tell me miss, you got a family?”
Joan looked slightly towards the ground, “Got a daughter by the name of Jackie and my husband is the Doctor in Ponyvile.”
“Well that’s more than I got, all I have is me mum back in Baltimare. Now what’s it ya be needin me for.” Celt and Joan reached a small stone house near the edge of the cave. They entered.
“I’m attacking Fort Cloudsdale, Gala MacApple said you could help.”
The house they entered was very tiny, consisting only of one room with a bed and trunk in it. Celt took out a hat, a revolver, and a double barreled weapon, he placed them on his being, then he spoke, “So your going after Dyslex’s gang.”
“I have to save my daughter…and this is how I am going to do it.”
“There occupation of Fort Cloudsdale is the reason Pegasus Landing has an overpopulation problem. I’ll do it. For these ponies, for all of the ponies there hurtin.” Celt placed his hat upon his head and walked out the door, Joan followed suit.
“We got our reasons for everything don’t we.”
“That we do missy, that we do.” Joan and Celt walked to the edge of the Landing, “so where to?”
Joan pointed a hoof towards Ponyvile, “There, though we won’t be there for long. We attack in the morning. Come-on…let’s go.” Joan and Celt flew off towards Ponyvile, the moon had just became visible past one of the hillsides. “Watch over us now…will ya?” she whispered towards the moon.
Joan sat up in her bed, the air musty and heavy with heat. Bird song could be heard out of the single barred window, it was about dawn time. Celestia’s burning sun was coming. Burlap sacks of cold ice and water were on the bed, they must have been used to keep her cool while she was out. A dry cough burst from her lungs, her mouth was completely void of moisture. A glass of water sat on the table behind the bed, a small index card read, “For you.” on it. Joan quickly wrapped 2 hooves around the small glass and greedily downed every drop in it. Wiping her muzzle with her dusty shirt sleeve, the grey mare removed the covers from her legs and flopped off the bed and onto the floor. Fumbling about the stone walled room, Joan found her hat which was resting on the bed post, she made her way to the door after grabbing the rest of her belongings, the door was an open edifice there was just a strange blue colored curtain, it had a design on it but Joan couldn’t make out what it was.
“The sun cometh up for thou. Though methinks thou shouldst still be resting in cold slumber.” An accent resembling that of the old time ponies played lightly from a wind chilled body. A slender mare sat on the edge of the deck surrounding the stone house. A light purple colored mare sat there, her opaque light azure mane gently pushed to the right side in a wind that seemed to be generated by her. Her body wasn’t clothed except for the hat, very similar to Joan’s in style but different in it’s dark black color, rested casually on her head.
“I doubt the sun is rising just for me, and I don’t really wanna see it. Seeing as I was nearly killed by it…where am I at anyway?”
The slender mare stood up and turned towards Joan, she signaled with a simple movement of her muzzle for Joan to approach her, and she did. “Cloparosa, Nuevo Equestria. That is where thou are at the moment located at.” She smiled sincerely with half closed eyes, she wasn’t lying.
Joan looked over the slender mare, her cutie mark looked as if someone ripped off a piece of the starry night sky and slapped it onto her bum and put a glowing crescent moon on it. As well as her standing, her posture was perfect and it radiated with pure elegance. She stood tall, about a head size taller than Joan, although her build was mildly intimidating she had a trustworthy smile and a truthful gaze.
Joan cleared her throat before speaking, “Ahem! So…how did you find me?” Joan’s voice cracked from its dryness.
“Thou was merely an hour’s walk away. We were making my return from the Nuevo Equestrian capitol, upon then we more literally than figuratively stumbled upon thine body. Lucky for thou, the vultures were readily preparing to feast upon your burning carcass.” The mare’s honest eyes sparkled with both seriousness and an unforgiving humor.
Joan smirked a small bit her right eye trailing off from center, “Well, Miss…um Pegasus lady. What is your name?” Joan smiled feeling a disturbing happy-go-lucky feeling.
The mare looked down at the ground closing her eyes to not reveal any uncertainty, “Dost thou wish to heareth mine real name or that name which many of old shall know me as…?”
“The real one please, I won’t pester you about the past. We all have things we wish to hide.” Joan reassured the mare who’s smiling face had returned.
“Lunar, Lunar Ricketts.” Her eyes shifted a little bit, but in Joan’s relaxed mind state she did not notice this. “And what is yours.” She simply asked.
“Joan Derpston, nice to meet you Miss Ricketts.” Joan placed her hoof forward and Miss Ricketts connected hers in a friendly hoof shake. “Now Miss Ricketts, where is this capitol you said you came from yesterday.”
Lunar leaped to the top of the stone house that Joan had slept in, Joan followed quickly. She pointed a hoof westward towards the sun. “Follow the path out of the village, head west, the first town you see, is the city of Los Pegasus. Capitol to Nuevo Equestria.” Her voice had lost its strange accent about mid sentence and she didn’t speak in her strange terms. Joan thought this was strange, but paid no mind to it; she often spoke in fancy terms with her daughter then would use incorrect grammar later in the sentence.
“It’s about an hour or so walk, therefore thou should pack water in your satchel. We don’t wanteth a repeat of last time, correct?” Lunar Ricketts spoke with her voice returning to normal.
“I will,” Joan said giving a thankful nod to Lunar. “You wouldn’t mind if I returned here for the night?”
“I will be expecting you…” a sudden cold rushed by as Lunar Ricketts spoke those words.
-----
The city of Los Pegasus, among its dirty and desolate rocky surroundings, was a much better place to look at than the area Joan had been walking in. As she walked down the rocky cliffs she was on she noticed a few things. Los Pegasus was relatively large, maybe even bigger than Canterlot, and part of the city was on an ocean or a lake of some sorts. The water glistened slightly in the sunlight; it was for once a sight that didn’t make Joan cringe inside. Inside, the city was dirty, much like every other town she visited. No blood though, just trash and dust. This place was…relatively safe. The city’s shape was weird, part flatland, part hill, and part water. Residents of the area ran in and out of the flatlands, important looking business ponies walked in and out of the harbor as well as sailors and…whorses as well. The hills in the city contained only three building, but they were glorious and huge. Joan knew this is where she was to go; the buildings were adorned with flags of the sun.
“HALT! What is your name and purpose being here?” A gold armored unicorn shouted at Joan.
“Joan Derpston and I am assuming this is the Solar Empire’s headquarters here.”
The doors to the building began to open and a light blue unicorn mare with white hair stood there. She was wearing a white outfit with gold trim; many patches adorned her shoulder sleeves signifying her high rank. She spoke out in a boisterous voice, pride pushing heavily out of her mouth as she held her head up, “Actually, we prefer being called the Celestian Government. We feel that Solar Empire makes us sound too…tyrannical.”
Joan rolled her eyes, “Right, tyrannical.”
“So simpleton what is your purpose here, what makes you worthy of being in the presence of the Awesome and Magnificent Colonel Trixande?”
“I’m here to hunt down a criminal. A criminal that is wanted by the leader of your government.” Trixande smiled pridefully and closed her eyes at the mention of her leader.
“The Awesome and Magnificent Colonel Trixande’s government wants many criminals gone. We are fighting against two rebel groups; your target is more than likely hiding with The Awesome and Magnificent Colonel Trixande’s enemies!”
“Enemies, I’d never expect the wonderful Celestian Government to have enemies.” Joan said hiding her sarcasm with a worried derp expression.
“Yes, we find it hard to believe that people wouldn’t agree with our government.” Trixande’s eyes shot open and she stomped her hoof down. Joan jumped back a small bit at the sudden aggressive motions by the Celestian Colonel. “You could be useful, very useful.” The colonel’s face grinning eagerly at her thoughts, “The Awesome and Magnificent Colonel Trixande has heard of you Mrs. Derpston, and you have skills that could be very useful to us!” The colonel’s horn began to glow, she shot bright lights which created a brilliant light show of various ponies, as well as a Crescent Moon and a Red Diamond. “We have been fighting ever since the Nuevo area was claimed by Celestia. Our secret enemy, The Lunar Republic, they have been underground in hiding for hundreds of years. But they influence many a ponies.” The moon light ceased glowing, but the Red Diamond’s light began to drip as if it was liquid or ice. “But the Rebels, they are the most immediate danger.”
“What do you need me to do?” Joan asked raising her eyebrows.
Trixande shifts her eyes around, “Between defense from the badlands in the south and the forces we have in the north. We have very little to give here in the heart of our land.”
“It’s not my fault your spread thin. What do I get out of it?” Joan asked.
Trixande laughed slightly, “You’re a lot like my daughter, Hazel. Always wondering what you can get out of it. Someday I’ll get it through her head that she won’t get everything she wants…Don’t you just want to help your homeland against dangerous rebels? Against the death of our freedoms.” She announced this out, as if speaking to a crowd although Joan was the only pony there.
“Ma’am, your government is the reason I’m in this mess. I’m doing this to save my daughter, to save my family. Now do you know where I can find a mare named Schizo?”
Trixande’s eyes widened, she stared intently at the ground not moving a single muscle, she spoke…her voice drowned in worry. “What does she look like?”
Joan pushed the brim of her hat up and frowned at the thought of picturing her old friends face, “Cream colored S.O.B. Dirty unkempt pink and blue curly hair, scars on her face, a sinister smile, an evil laugh. Oh and lets not forget those eyes that lust for thousands of mares.” Joan could picture her cut up smile, her sharp teeth, that glint in her eye. Another thought came to her mind, as if an ironic voice told her about it. “Oh yea, and she talks to herself to…Not like you, but she talks to other ponies…other ponies that are in her head.”
The colonel lifted her head up and another prideful grin smacked itself onto her face, “Help us deal with the rebels, and the Awesome and Magnificent Colonel Trixande will have her stallions work on finding her.”
Joan sighed and pulled her hat down, “What other choice do I have. I’ll help you.”
The colonel’s face brightened up and her prideful smile became about as huge as her egotistical head. “Excellent, meet Captain Redblood here in the morning. He will be leading a mission against the rebels, if you show up. My help is guaranteed. Now Mrs. Derpston.” Trixande’s eyes lowered into a determined seriousness. “Get some rest, Our sun rises early!”
-----
Joan had drawn her revolver, the lowering sun would make way for the cool moon. Joan couldn’t see anything suspicious, but that little mare on her shoulder was telling her somepony was nearby. “Lunar…is that you. Or am I gonna have some snakes on my hand.” Joan said, her voice cracked at the mention of snakes.
“Snakes we are not,” a stallions voice firmly asserted. “But serpents we have been compared to.”
“I see why, sneaky like em. What do you want?” Joan asked her eyes narrowed and searching around.
“Just some words for you to remember, ‘When your true enemy shows, so shall too your true ally arise.’ Please remember what I have told you.” His voice echoed lightly as the wind picked up and swept some creature away.
“…How come all the strange things happen to me now…” Joan remarked amused at her always awkward situation.
Joan, continuing forward, looked towards her always faithful friend, the moon. The night always cool and welcoming, as the village came into view, a slender figure waved at her with the moon to her back. The cold light shadowed the figure, but the friendly wave told her that it was Lunar Ricketts. “Greetings Friend, how did thine meeting go with the Solar Empire.”
“Well seems this will be no easy victory. I am just about 1% closer to finding Schizo than I was this morning.” Joan’s tired body shambled up the building wall to meet her friend at the top. She was physically tired, although she had traveled a lot most recently the long walks to and from the far spread Nuevo Equestrian cities was much different then the short flights to and from the farm and Ponyville. “I’m just happy to see the moon. Something Celestia governs that doesn’t melt me into little pegasus pieces.”
Lunar Ricketts stared blankly at the moon, although her eyes showed no feeling, her frown displayed an unhappiness that Joan had not ever seen. “It’s something I wish she didn’t govern. It’s the one thing I agree with the Lunar Republic on…” Her hoof stomped on the rooftop, it made a loud wind rushing sound and a small breeze flew by.
“What is this Lunar Republic, what is this other rebels group? I’ve only been here for a day I can’t know everything that happened here!” Joan yelled after recovering from the sudden wind rush, although Joan had been yelling her face was that of an unknowing curiosity.
Lunar sighed; she closed her eyes and raised her head up to the moon. “The Lunar Republic are just that, a group who wishes for the moon to prosper.” A confused eyebrow raise from Joan told Lunar that she’d have to say some more. “We mean they want the mare in the moon to prosper.” “Nightmare Moon…” “Yes, they say they speak to her every night.” She met Joan’s eyes and saw that they were slowly derping away, she giggled a little at this. Joan gave her a friendly jab and told her to continue. “Almost a thousand years ago, they fought alongside Nightmare Moon to try and end what they thought was Celestia’s Tyranny. But when Nightmare Moon was defeated, they went underground, they were very strong in numbers here. But when Colonel Trixande became the governor here she outlawed any LR propaganda. Recently she stated that if you were caught speaking highly of the LR you would be brought to the governors palace…and killed. The stallions are the first bodies you see, then the mare’s bodies will show up a day or two later.”
“What do they do with them…the mares I mean?” Joan asked almost feeling sick.
“We’ve heard rumors that…that the stallion guards geteth to have fun with them…another is that Trixande is a filly-fooler, but she is married and has a newborn daughter so we would highly doubt that one. But what the colonel has done is wrong…the LR only have one thing in mind, that’s bringing glory to the moon. But they to do it all wrong, Joan do you think that murdering innocents is the right way to solveth anything.” Joan had buried her muzzle in her hooves for a few seconds and she shook her head lightly. “A lesson some of us have learned the hard way. We’re warning you now Joan, don’t go to Hoofington during the night, that is where you will find the LR. And we have a feeling they won’t be very friendly to thou.”
“Tell me about this…this uh rebel group…I’m supposed to fight them tomorrow.”
Lunar’s eyes widened, “You can’t fight them! You can’t, you shouldn’t, and you won’t. They’re good. They want what’s right.” She yelled out in a panic.
“I don’t care about this civil war ya’lls havin I’m just here to find Schizo.”
“THERE IS NOTHING CIVIL ABOUT THIS WAR!” Lunar Ricketts bellowed in a voice so powerful it almost blew Joan away.
“ALRIGHT! Calm down!” Joan yelled.
“The rebels will approach you if they already haven’t. Fight for them…fight for both for all I care.” She got up from where she was sitting and quickly jumped off the building shouting back to Joan in a displeased tone, “I will see you tomorrow.”
Joan sat down on the rooftop, “Now what do I do. I need to find Schizo, an’ I already said I’d help Trixande, but I trust Lunar in her words that the Rebels group is good.” Her head shot up to the moon. “You’ve always been there and you’ve always helped me…what do I do.”
The wind brushed by, that cold familiar breeze blew into Joan’s mane. That familiar voice would follow it, but something was disturbingly too familiar. The cold wind carried these words to her…
Sunlight creeping into the single window of her stone home, Joan opens her restless eyes, them both going in different directions. Fumbling out of her wooden bed she exited through the blue cloth, she finally noticed the design on it, Princess Celestia and…well she had never seen that blue pony before. Celestia was on the side with the sun and the other one was on the side of the moon. They were circling each other as if it wasn’t about picking which side of the flag you’re on. The blue pony looked like Lunar Ricketts. She also thought it looked more like Nightmare Moon. Not wishing to think much of it she pushed through and headed towards the Capitol.
------
Upon entering the gates of the government palace, a white unicorn stallion looked up from cleaning his mouth off with a towel. His eyes narrowed and a face of displeasure marked his muzzle, “What do you want, filly?”
Joan pushed the brim of her hat up, “I was told that me and Captain Redblood would be going on a mission today. A mission against those…those rebels.”
The unicorn stared threateningly at Joan, he nodded his head slightly and gold armored troops surrounded Joan. The familiar sounds of weapons being readied came from all around her, “What makes you think, we want your help.” Joan stares blankly forward at Redblood, he smiled…“BWAHAHAHA!” He burst into laughter, the guards around Joan lowered there weapons. “Oh!...haha…we had you there!”
“Yea, somewhere between the ‘I’m going to kill you’ stare and the armored guards armed to the wing with weapons. Yea you had me.” Joan said still staring blankly at the stallion.
“I am captain Redblood, and yes we do have a mission to go on. You arrived with impeccable timing.” He said as he looked at his empty plate that was on a table in the palace yard. “Let us go, the rest of the attack force will be waiting for us.”
The two of them walked out of the palace and Redblood started leading them to where the attackers would be waiting. Joan spoke, “My name is Joan Derpston.”
“Ah yes! Joan, I have heard a lot about you from Trixande and the letters that Celestia has sent us. This war down here, it will be a bloody job…”
Joan observed the dead and rocky landscape, “Yea, that’s the only kind of job I know.”
Captain Redblood let out a small chuckle, “It’s the only job there is now of days, Joan.” He sighed slightly, “Joan, my land is in pain. A terrible pain, the rebels take the people by the throats and strangle our way of life out of there bodies.”
Joan pulled the brim of her hat down, “I ain’t no politician, sir.”
“Neither am I, haha! But Colonel Trixande, she is trying her hardest to save our civilization, even if it means doing some strange things to get it done.” Redblood held his head up high much like Trixande had the other night.
“I ain’t much of a moralist, I just do what I think is right for me and my family. Which sadly has brought me here.” Joan sighed.
“Not much of a moralist yet you’re here searching for an outlaw doing your land a favor and you say you aren’t a moralist. Joan that sounds a bit oxymoronic if you ask me.”
“Like I said, doing what’s right for my family.” The two of them walked over a hill and a large group of gold armor clad pegasi and unicorns were waiting for them. “What is this…an invasion force?”
“It’s what we could muster, we don’t like being down on numbers.” Redblood raised his voice to call to the troops, “Sergeant Wing Rider are the soldiers ready.” A gold armored unicorn nodded at Captain Redblood. “Excellent, Joan, are you ready?” Joan tipped her hat respectfully. “Then let us begin our attack.”
The massive group of soldiers hustled forward; the rebel camp was very quite not a single pony could be seen. The large force snuck up to the walls around the city, some of the Pegasus soldiers flew up to the top of the walls. Joan followed suit. From atop the wall she could see the many small houses and tents lining the area. An armed mare stepped out of a tent; she leaped to her back hooves and stretched her body out. The pegasi on the wall quickly and quietly dropped to the ground behind some tents. The mare that had come out had dropped back to all 4 hooves and was now walking about the camp. Before Joan knew it, a pegasus flew quickly towards the wandering mare and carried her over to the rest of them. From there she was gagged and tied, the missions first capture. As they threw the mare over some other ponies emerged from there tents. In other words, some ponies saw us throw that mare overboard.
“HEY STOP THEM!” The loud outburst awoke the entire camp, but everypony round would be up after this. BANG! Joan had drawn her revolver and fired the first shot. The pegasi took cover and the rest of the force stormed in. In a matter of minutes the rebel force had been decimated, the Celestian Army soldiers outnumbered them 4 to 1. Dead ponies lined the ground; a small pile of mares and stallions that had been tied up were being gathered by the soldiers.
Redblood trotted towards the group that had gathered, “Excellent.” Turning to Joan he said, “Thank you for your assistance, Joan. These prisoners will be our first attempt at finding the outlaw you’re looking for. You have done a great deal for Nuevo Equestria; will your skills be available for future use?”
Joan tipped her hat and began to walk out of the village, before leaving she turned and said, “Until I’m dead or Schizo is. I’ll be here.” She then continued forward.
-----
“I know you are there!” The cowmare yelled out standing her ground with a determined scowl. “And I’d appreciate it if ya’d stop following me…”
The wind blew into Joan’s mane, a stallions voice spoke from behind her. “We follow you because we know of you.” Joan whipped around and pulled her revolver out. A grey stallion stood, smiling. “Joan we need your help.”
“That’s funny.” Joan physically began to laugh; she had never experienced such a strange statement that was meant for her. “You need my help! Are ya forcin’ me to do this or is it my choice.” She tipped her hat up and relinquished the scowl from her face. She was more amused than anything now.
“Well it depends. Would you like us to help you find this outlaw we have heard you’re looking for?” Joan’s gaze turned serious.
“What do you need me for?” Joan replied.
“In an attack simultaneously employed to the one you were at. Our leader, Rarity Reyes was captured and taken to El Caballo. We are asking for your help to set her free. Without her our fight is meaningless!” The grey stallion approached Joan, but before he was close to her Joan shouted.
“Take me to El Caballo then.”
-----
‘I have never seen a rock this dreadful.’ Joan thought as she and the small group of rebels climbed up the large mountain side that El Caballo rested on. The walls of El Caballo were nothing like Fort Cloudsdale’s, Caballo was a solid stone structure, some small towers dotted its structure and a small campfire was alive in the fort. The group reached the top of the mountain; they were at the back side of the fort. Small chunks of the wall had been blown out by attacks on the fort.
“These holes were created by changeling attacks.” The grey stallion whispered.
“Changelings?” Joan whispered back, she had never heard of them before.
“Ugly bug-like pony creatures that feed off of your emotions for strength. It’s kinda scary when you think about it.” He pointed a hoof towards the even more disgusting and worst looking land to the south of them. “That there is the Badlands, the changeling homeland.”
“Even your enemies can be an ally at times.” A shiny silver coated mare said.
A wail came from inside the fort. “THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST FABULOSITY!” Joan and the others quickly flooded through the holes in the walls. No pony had spotted them; in fact they were all paying attention to the mare who was tied to the wall. “Ugh! I mean what were you thinking. These ropes don’t match the wall at all, the prisoner garb is an atrocious color, it’s musty and dirty out here, and P-LEASE! The rusty gold armor is really the biggest crime out here.” A white coated unicorn with curly purple hair cried out, whining like a little filly although much to her own pleasure it was annoying her kidnappers thoroughly.
“That is Miss Reyes.” Rarity Reyes was a very fine looking young mare, she couldn’t have been a year or so younger then Joan. Considering that she had gotten pregnant with Jackie not long after reaching marehood. “Joan.” The grey stallion pointed a hoof to the farthest tower of the fort. “Can you sneak around the fort and get into that tower. There is a guard up there; he should have a scoped rifle.”
Joan looked towards the tower, it would require some silence and craft to reach it by flying, but she believed she could do it. “I can do it.” She said with confidence thick in her voice.
“Good, we will wait till you fire, take out the guard closest to Miss Reyes and we will try to pick off the rest. Keep us covered though…and good luck.” The stallion nodded at her and they moved through the inner fort walls. Joan pushed her hair under her hat and forcibly straightened her eyes. This would require concentration and stealth. She slipped through the hole in the wall and around towards the tower.
She pressed her back to the cold stone wall, the sun was setting. She took a deep breath then began to slowly fly up the side of the tower. She reached the top and slowly she peeked above the wall at the guard. He was resting his head on his hoof and he stared carelessly at the interrogation going on below. Joan pulled the knife from her satchel and wrapped her hoof carefully around it. She floated over towards him, a nervous pressure built up in Joan. She landed quietly behind him and…she pulled the guards shoulder which flipped him over to facing Joan, she quickly thrusted the knife in between his helmet and his chest plate. The guard shook for a little bit before he ceased to move anymore. She slid her knife back into her satchel and grabbed the rifle the guard had been carrying. Taking a deep breath she looked into the dirty scope. Through the scope Joan saw that the fort had only been occupied by 5 guards. The rebels outnumbered the army soldiers. The wind blew lightly into Joan’s mane relaxing her, calming her. The last bit of sunlight glared off of the glass scopes as the moon began to rise behind her. BANG!
Rarity Reyes smiled as the guard in front of her collapsed, “Now it begins!” She shouted determinedly. Another gunshot sounded off and another one of the guards fell. Joan took a second shot and another guard lay dead. One of the guards panicked and ran for the shadows in an attempt to hide. But a second later she was thrown back into the fray, the difference being her hooves were tied up. Miss Reyes smiled once more, “And now it.”
“Ends!” Joan interrupted Rarity and fired her revolver into the last guard’s eye. The wind grew quiet and silence ravaged the area until Miss Reyes spoke up.
“Silver Shot be a dear and untie these ropes on me. My legs are starting to cramp.” The grey stallion who had first approached Joan trotted up to there leader. Easy and delicately he gripped a knife into his mouth and gently cut down the white coated mare. Looks of both caring and admiration fueled a whole hearted smile on his face. Rarity spoke again, “Most excellent work Lt. Silver Shot. Or now I should say Colonel Silver Shot. You and the others stay here and defend El Caballo till I send a flyer this way. Joan, would you kindly escort me to Reyes Manor. It’s not far from where you are presiding.” Joan simply tipped her hat. Rarity then nodded at Silver Shot and the 2 left the fort.
-----
Now that they were walking Joan took note of Miss Reyes more unique features. She was skinnier than most of the other mares she had encountered and her eyes had make-up on them, which had smeared down her face now. Underneath her left eye was a harsh red scar, a cut of some sorts. Since leaving El Caballo she had stripped off her dirty prisoner garb and slipped into her more comfortable and stylish poncho as she had said while they were walking earlier. Another thing Joan noticed was Rarity Reyes’ cutie mark. A red diamond that dripped down her flank. It scared her. But behind the dripping diamond was a bright light, a shine of beauty and hope.
“Darling, your shooting back there was excellent and even though my poncho is the height of Nuevo Equestrian fashion I must say! That coat looks stunning on you.” Miss Reyes said with an honest astonishment in her voice. “The hats a little dated but it fits with the style you have so all in all I approve of your uniform.”
“Miss Reyes, I didn’t know I was walking with you to have your fashion view imposed upon me.” Joan said with an honest bitterness.
“No, no, no dear! I only wish to compliment your obvious northern taste in fashion…ugh, I assume business is what you wish to discuss.”
Joan cracked a deviant smile, “And my business is my priority. You are going to help me track down the criminal who is hiding in this area. Her name is Schizo and the longer she is here, the more danger my daughter is put in.”
Rarity placed a hoof on her muzzle, she was deep in thought. “Now I have heard that name before. Hmm, well you could help me carry out a plan I’ve had for a while. You see our spies are good. But the Lunar Republic spies…are the best. If you can convince them to aide us I will have them spy on the Solar Empire’s officials for information to aide us and to aide you. Sound good darling?”
“Yes, it does sound good.”
-----
“Oh most excellent Joan!” Lunar Rickets shouted out with glee. “I’m so proud of thou!” She reached out her night colored arms and strangled Joan with a friendly hug.
“Ok…Lunar you’re…you’re…squishing me…!” Joan choked out while being squeezed. She let go. Joan gasped for a second welcoming in the musty air which had been compressed out of her. “If I keep playing my cards right I can have Schizo before any real war breaks out.” Joan removed her hat from her head. Her long blonde hair flung out and was soon captured by the cool breeze. It had been a long time since Joan had cut her hair.
Lunar gave a caring glance towards Joan, “Although this night is still young. Thou should be resting. It’s been a long day for you.” Joan looked towards her with a smile. She simply nodded between her half-closed and derpy eyes. Joan left the rooftop, Lunar Rickets looked around slowly as the midnight breeze quieted down. “Sleep well my little pony.”
Chapter 9: Walking With the Night(I Know You! Pt. 2)
“Wake up Mommy! Wake Up!” An excited young voice shouted out with glee. Joan felt her bed moving and jerking about, somepony was jumping on her bed. “It’s morning time mommy. Wake up!” The young voice insisted.
“Jackie…” Joan muttered out in a fit of tiredness. “It’s too early Jackie.” She said not even opening her eyes, and then she rolled over and off of the bed. Plopping onto the floor like Icarus with melted wings. She didn’t move but opened her eyes up. There bouncing in front of her was her daughter, her little muffin. “Alright Jackie…I’m up.” Jackie continued to bounce about happily her blonde mane swooshing around with every movement. Joan held up a simple smile towards her. She stood up and wrapped her hooves around the purple coated filly in a caring hug. “Good Morning Muffin!”
Air rushed around her head, the musty atmosphere made its grim return. Joan sat up in the rickety old bed. The dream was over…
A tan coated stallion pushed his way through the flowing door curtain; he was followed by Miss Rickets. “Good Morning to you Joan. I am with Miss Reyes.” A glowing piece of parchment floated its way over to Joan. The stallion said with his horn glowing, “My orders are to ask you to make your way to Hoofington and find the Lunar Republic. This letter will do all the talking for you. They may question you. And the best answer to give them is the honest one. I’m sure you are also wondering about…well about your end of the deal. No promise will be broken.” The stallion dropped the paper onto her lap and then he galloped out of the house.
Lunar Rickets gave a nervous glance at Joan. She looked unsettled and she paced about the room a tiny bit as Joan began to rally up her things. She finally spoke, “Joan…I…I-I don’t think thou should’st go there.”
Joan sighed, “But I have to.” Lunar’s face plummeted. She knew she had already lost this fight.
She sighed as well, “Well…ok then. Joan, when thou gets to Hoofington. Look for a boarded up home. Enter its basement and thou shall find a blue door with a white moon.” She hesitated for a second but she soon continued, “The answer is ‘The Night’ just remember that…and…be careful of what thou shall see and be careful with what thou shall hear.” She turned quickly and exited through the curtain, a strong gust of wind following her as she left.
-----
Hoofington was a large town, not big enough to be a city like Trottingham or Los Pegasus. But it was larger than Ponyville, much nicer looking too. The buildings were at least built more recently and the roads were very well defined, being that it was made out of the similar rock material that Canterlot’s streets were made of. Alleyways filled with drunken stallions, a rosy red colored brothel, shady gambling ponies, and the occasional blood pool. ‘Yep this is deffinantly Equestrian land.’ Joan thought.
Deep into the older parts of Hoofington, Joan would find her way to the only house in the district that wasn’t a heap of rubble. The boarded up home Lunar had mentioned stood strong among the vine covered rubble of pre-Celestian settlement. A boarded door creaked open and a musty yet cool breeze blew from the edifice. Joan entered, it was dark and damp. Down crooked stairs and rough stone steps she delved into the building until she came upon the door Lunar had described. The door boomed out and a menacing voice spoke to her, “Who is the bringer of Shadows?”
“The Night.” Joan spoke calmly. The white crescent moon glowed brightly and the giant stone door grinded open. The hallway was moist and water dripped from the rocky ceiling, Joan put a hoof through the door. *CLA-CLICK!* “What do we have here…”
-----
“Joan Derpston, a name I have heard many times before. What is so important that you should come here…to our little home here.” Joan was lying on the stone ground her hooves tied together, a tall stallion with a dark muzzle draped in a dark blue cape and hood was standing over her. He had a menacing smile on his face and a devious look in his eyes. “I’m not surprised that you got in…but I am surprised that you found us. Everypony else in this sun drenched hole is persuaded that this home is cursed.” Joan remained silent and she didn’t even look at him. This infuriated the robed stallion, he reached for a knife he had under his robe, “ANSWER ME! Who are you with, and WHAT! DO! THEY! WANT!” The stallion’s eyes gleamed a red haze, he lifted his knifed hoof.
“Master Night Stalker! Master!” Another robed stallion galloped into the room, he wore a dark purple robe instead though. He gulped in many breaths before he could speak again, “Master, we found this in the mare’s satchel.” Night Stalker lowered his hoof and trotted over to the other pony and he grabbed the letter from his hoof. He quickly read over it before rolling it back up, “Light Chaser, did you read this letter?” The stallion didn’t hesitate for a second and he quickly and fearlessly answered, “Yes, Sir! I was the only one, once I had read it I brought it immediately to you.” Night Stalker smiled, “Good that was the best decision, now, what course of action should we take regarding this letter?”
Light Chaser thought for a quick second, “Well, the most beneficial solution to us would be to help Miss Rarity Reyes. I assume the dark secret she mentioned is “The Account,” if that spread to the Solar Empire our hides would be skinned and tanned raw!” Night Stalker nodded and Light Chaser looked towards Joan, “As for her, the letter did say to keep her alive. She is a true warrior of the wild. And Miss Reyes did say she would rather we befriend Joan instead of torture her.” Night Stalker smiled and lead Light Chaser out the door, some more mumbling went on from the door side but it was too muffled to make anything out. Joan sighed and listened to the steady beat created by dripping water. Finally Light Chaser reentered the room carrying her satchel and weapons. “Miss Derpston, our deepest apologies for our…umm, ill treatment of your being. Take this poster and give it to Miss Reyes, tell her that the Night will always be on her side.
Joan took the poster in hoof, upon it a Crescent moon with a white star in the middle of it lay above a blue alicorn and many different ponies stood before the almighty looking mare. “Who is that, the alicorn on the poster?” Joan asked. Light Chaser smiled warmly and led her to the next room over. Several pictures of the Night colored alicorn stood on the walls. “That alicorn is the leader of our faction, of our resistance, she is the leader of darkness, and the Princess of the Night. She is Princess Luna!” Light Chaser bellowed out as he caused blue fire to erupt from torches on the wall. “We fight for her legacy, so that the night may rule on…sadly she was banished unrightfully by her corrupt sister almost a thousand years ago to the moon. Legend has it that she will return in the form that she left us on the 1,000th year. When it comes we will fight for her!”
Joan surveyed over the various portraits that were hanging delicately on the wall. The smell of night time filled her senses. The largest painting was that of the infamous Nightmare Moon. Joan studied this portrait the longest. “Many will know only of the Nightmare…” Light Chaser sadly stated. “The princess was driven into that form. Madness overcame her, and over 1,000 years many have forgotten her…”
-----
The sun was starting to make its late night descent, Joan was told that a route heading south of Hoofington would wrap around the hills she had gone through to get there, she wouldn’t get home any faster but she wouldn’t be as drained from the climb. The path began to wind around a bend when a small leveled piece of land came into her sight. The miniature plateau was being occupied by two bodies, a small campfire at their feet. “Welcome to Nuevo Equestria, Joan.” The suited stallion said, his strange blue aura glowing from the fire in the setting sun, shadows streaking across his eyes. “It’s always good to see an old friend.” A strange dark tone vibrated out of his voice.
Joan paused for a second staring at the strange stallion, she moved slightly towards the fire, the sound of the fire cracking and Joan’s weapons clinking together, “Where, do I know you from.” She said confused, something seemed familiar about him now that they had their second meeting. The other creature there was a young donkey, he would have been considered very attractive amongst mules, he sat and sighed with a melancholic expression on his face.
The strange stallion chuckled, “Why Joan, you’re famous. You’ve chosen to side with both factions in a civil war that started for reasons you know nothing about. You come in and shoot up your own allies alongside your own allies. Yet, you’ll save a sad soul of a drunkard.” He proceeded to stare into the fire smiling blankly.
“And who are you to judge me?”
“When the appropriate time comes, we will all be judged.” He looked up from the fire and took a single step towards Joan, cocking his head to the side and smiling at her. “You know, I admire you, Joan. I hope my daughter grows up to be just like you.”
Joan looked away from the stallion, she sighed lightly, “For your sake, I’d hope she don’t.”
Joan looked back at the stallion, the wind bellowed powerfully at the three standing there, the strange stallion seemed unaffected by the wind. “You can kill so easy, yet you will save the life of a lowly drunkard.” He paused briefly, then smiled, “Interesting.”
“I’ll let the princess judge my moralities, friend. She seems to be doing so already!” Joan shouted out quickly, but her voice lacked any venom.
“Yes you will, and so she shall. I’ve heard theirs an old mare living south of here, really close to the badlands. No one sees her much, nor does anypony care much. Why don’t you pay her a visit and let her know things aren’t so bad. Or you could spare her of seeing this world in its ‘current’ state.” The stallion proceeded to sit next to the fire, “See you around, Joan.”
Joan whispered quietly, “I hope you don’t.” The donkey had walked over and slouched himself against the wagon nearby, Joan walked towards him. “What’s wrong with you?”
He sighed, “Been searchin’ and been about everywhere. Still can’t find her.” Joan instantly knew it was a women problem. She asked, “Do you still believe she’s out there?” “Sometimes I see her face in the clouds.” He looked towards the orange flavored sky. Joan began walking away, but she turned back giving the donkey a simple look. “Been there before, friend. There is always hope.”
-----
The sun still shown slightly as she continued down the winding path. A shallow dirt road jutted out of the main dirt path, in between two large rocks was a dinky home with bullet holes and holes of rot in it. The home itself from Joan’s location was a musty smell of decay. A lone palm tree stood next to the home. She looked upon the home and strangely felt welcomed, so she walked towards the front door. She gave three quick knocks, but before she could put her hoof down the head of a young but weak looking unicorn mare popped out slowly. “Yes…who are you?” She coughed lightly, “what are you doing…here…”
“I was just…uh passin by, and I saw your home. And I…just felt it to stop by. Umm what’s wrong with you?” Joan said unsure of how she’d gotten into this situation.
“Sickness.” She coughed again, “I’m a writer from Canterlot, came here for a vacation, can’t leave…too weak.” She heaved as a heavy cough riddled her body. Her bright maroon hair shifted in front of her face. “What do you want?” She said weakly.
“What’s the…the uh, the main problem?”
“I got sick, which made it hard to work. Can’t buy medicine to make it better, cause I can’t work.” She coughed weakly, “I can still travel to Hoofington, it’s the closest settlement, but I have no money.” She coughed heavily again.
“Well…” Joan hesitated for a second, then she opened her satchel with her wing. The Lunar Republic members hadn’t stolen any of her supplies, this included the several bags of bits the Celestian Government had gifted her. She picked a bag out and placed it in the door well. “That should be enough for you.” Joan gave a calm smile, she wasn’t the generous type but she felt good helping considering this was blood money nonetheless. The unicorn could barely pick up the bag with her magic but she did.
She smiled weakly but a bright essence of hope beamed from her, “I have something that I can’t use anymore. It should be yours.” She stepped back into her home. Joan to notice of the sign that was to the right of the door next to the smashed up window. “Lauren’s House,” was displayed on a moldy piece of oak.
A few minutes passed, the unicorn hadn’t returned so Joan decided to see if something had happened. When she entered that home was silent, a single room. That was it. A small table with a typewriter on it held a note.
‘My sincere apologies, I feel to much hope in my body that I decided to leave immediately to get my medicine. The chest at the foot of my bed is unlocked, take from it what is inside. I am sure it shall provide aid to a person of your caliber. Thank you for this wonderful gift. May the Sun and Moon provide peace to your soul.’
The gray mare looked to her left, the bed was a simple wooden frame that had been rotting away and a dirty mattress lay on top of it. A medium sized chest, it clicked open easily and creaked open sending small dust particles a flutter. Inside was a weapon, a gun like Joan had never seen before. It contained two short barrels and a small box of ammo was lying next to it. They were shotgun shells. Joan had only seen single and long barreled shotguns before and they were only gifted to high-ranking Royal Guard officers as a sign of rank. She grabbed the weapon and placed it in her satchel with the handle poking out and placed the ammo on her bandolier. She looked back at the typewriter, the note was gone… “Well, thanks…”
-----
Celestia’s burning sun had finally set and her cool moon had risen, with it a calm and cool feeling spread over Joan as she made her way to Cloparosa village. She had delivered the poster to Miss Reyes and her exuberantly thrilled squees of joy had awoken the rebels out side her manor. Now she had to confront a certain somepony.
“Joan, good to see you have returned with only the dust of the land upon thine warrior’s shoulders.” Lunar Rickets said with glee in her voice. Joan’s face replicated the scowl she had shown many a times before.
“Quit lying to me. I know who you are! I thought I could trust you but like everypony else in this sun soaked land you’ve lied to me!” Her sharp words cut into the flowing blue mane of the moon colored mare. Her hair dropped to the ground and she seemed mildly taken aback.
“What art thou talking about…?” She said with an obviously faked confusion.
“So hard to find an honest horse in this place. The moon does well to hide herself when the sun is shown on her, ain’t that right, Princess?” Joan said with a small frown and squinted eyes.
Lunar looked around biting her bottom lip nervously, “I knew this would happen. If you weren’t killed I’d knew you’d find out. Thou hath done well to uncover me.” She looked shamefully at the ground, her hat became engrossed by a blue light and it lifted itself off her head to reveal her horn. “It is I, the Princess of the Night, Princess Luna.” She looked up towards the moon that she had not raised in almost a thousand years.
Now that the truth was out Joan’s expression lighten while she still frowned upon her friend, “How are you even here, I thought you were banished to the moon?” She asked.
“As long as harmony covers this land, no nightmare shall conceive her plan.” The princess placed her hat atop her head again, but she continued to stare down the moon. “I am using all the magical power I can muster to be here. And the reason I can do this is because of how much disharmony claims this land plus the distance it is away from my sister.”
Joan shrugged, believing that she had understood all that, “What about the Nightmare?”
Luna finally unglued her eyes from the moon, “The nightmare…is my strongest form, an unsatisfied evil that I must feed lest it force itself upon my body and take away all my senses. At the time I cannot go into such form,” Joan had begun walking towards the village and Luna followed, “if I were able to it would have done so long ago when the disharmony started. Once that form comes I won’t be able to stay in Equestria for much longer.” The two entered the village and Joan saw a surprisingly familiar face. “Hey, Joan isn’t that-”
“Why if it isn’t Miss Joan, our secret Nuevo agent.” Captain Redbloods said in his well mannered yet snooty voice. “Just in time too. We were about to go capture a traitor who is residing not far from here. Care to join us. They’ll plenty for our taking.” The captain’s uniform had been decorated with a new medal, most likely for bringing in that haul of prisoners earlier in the week.
Joan quickly faked a yawn and placed a sleepy expression upon her face, Luna had disappeared somehow as well. “I’ve been running around looking for info about Schizo all day. Think it’d be fine if I skip this one.” Joan turned and began moving away before she felt the heavy smash of a revolver butt against her skull. Her eyes shot every which direction extremely derping her face. She finally collapsed and was out.
Cold winds, fuzzy sense of perception, feeling the faint wisp of consciousness, attempting to grasp the light. The musty air began to filter into her senses, she opened her eyes and stared at her hooves. Joan was sitting on a bench her front and back hooves each tied separately into bonds. She was slouched on the splintery bench with a small pudge from her stomach poking out in her duster coat. “Huh, I didn't think I could sit this way.” She said quite nonchalantly. She had seen Dyslex sit like this once but Dyslex was a circus contortionist before joining the gang. Joan looked forward, she was still in Cloparosa, her head was throbbing and she noticed her eyes were derping out more then normally.
A familiar snooty voice confidently rose up bleaching the silence in the air with a thick arrogance, “Well, well, well. Seems our prisoner is awake.” From out of the curtain of a nearby building the small battalion of Celestian army soldiers emerged led out by Captain Red bloods. “You know I never really trusted you, just call it a hunch but something was telling me you were bad news.” He whipped around and held his head up towards the moon, “Hehe, seems I was right.” He turned and smiled cocking his head to the right. He ran and got right up in Joan’s face, “So ‘friend’ do you know what the death penalty in Nuevo Equestria is for treason.”
Joan looked on the surrounding hill side and found a small glimmering light, she closed her eyes half way and smirked, “I assume you’re gonna tickle me with a feather for an hour and we’ll go play some desert hoofball topped off by story time with milk & cookies.”
Captain Redbloods expression became sarcastic and a hint of annoyance rang through his voice, “Ha, ha. Somepony doesn’t know how serious this is.” He cleared his throat and spoke loudly as if he was addressing a crowd of adoring fans. “Now I know what WE are all here for. For your crimes of treason against the Celestian government, I, the dashing Captain Redbloods sentence, Joan Derpston of Trottingham, to death by my hoof.”
Joan felt the nerves in her body relax a little bit, her face was masked by a remarked carelessness and she began displaying a ‘couldn’t care less attitude.’ “Ha! On what grounds.”
The captain smiled deviously, “For the murder of members of El Caballo’s guards and the assistance in the take over of same fort. For assisting in the escape of rebel leader and mass murderer, Rarity Reyes. For engaging in plans with the rebel faction. Witnesses have also seen you entering the ‘cursed’ house in Hoofington, and we all know what goes on in there.”
“My definition of treason must be very different than yours my friend.”
Captain Redblood trotted over to Joan’s left side, his horn glowed and his revolver steadily rose towards Joan’s head. “For your crimes against Equestria and her ponies, you shall pay with your blood, and your brains against this poor old bench. Any last words.”
She smiled, “The Night will always protect me…”
The revolver pressed roughly against Joan’s skull, a familiar cold breeze blew itself into Joan’s mane, and she relaxed and took a deep breath in. Redbloods muttered the words, “Adios para siempre.” Then all was silent. The night wind continued to howl at them. Then…
*BANG!*
“Ahhhhhhhh! My Horn! My HORN!” Captain Redbloods screamed out in agony. Half of his horn was missing and he stumbled about the opening running his head into walls and poles, screaming profusely. Several more gunshots rang out and a few more ponies fell. “We’re under-” he ran into a wall, “attack! Take c-cover and f-fight.” He slammed his face into several more walls while dodging bullets.
The familiar purple curls of Rarity Reyes emerged from the hillside along with her soldiers. “No noble soul will die tonight. Troops, ATTACK!” The line of rebels opened fire upon the confused battalion. Joan threw herself to the ground, she had no way to move and she felt her wings sticking to her body as if they had been sewn there. A celestian army troop ran right by Joan, he stopped and pulled his gun out but a bullet passed through him ending his chance on her life. If she didn’t move she would be an even easier target then Epileps was to alcohol.
Joan arched her back, trying her hardest to get her wings to move, but with every bullet that flew around her they would flatten themselves right back to her body. The sounds kept getting closer and louder and the bullets would fly right next to her startling her every single time. A bullet chipped off a small piece of Joan’s hair, her wings then burst off her body and she shot up into the sky spinning around uncontrollably as the bullets continued to glue and unglue her wings to her body. She crashed through the curtain of one of the houses and crashed into a bed.
A loud magical surge manifested near Joan and Princess Luna teleported into the room, “Ahh. Joan! I went to get Miss Reyes when I first saw that wretched blooded stallion!” Princess Luna’s horn glowed through her hat and she cut open Joan’s ropes. Gun fire rang about the small village cutting its way into Luna’s voice. “While we were watching they stored your weapons in the house next door.” Joan stood up and shook her whole body, her eyes were more derp then normal but her face was scorned with an unshakable rage.
“Lunar-….Luna, can you get me to the house next door.” Luna looked out the window Joan had crashed through, “I can, but it could be dangerous.” She looked directly into Joan’s eyes, “alright get close to me.”
Joan put a hoof on Luna’s wing, she powered up magic in her horn and the glow surrounded Joan, she felt her body being swooped up and vacuumed into the house next door, Joan raised her hoof up ready to punch anything wearing a Celestian Army uniform. But no one was in the house, Joan shifted her shoulders down but still punched the chest that was in front of her with a vigorous lack of enthusiasm. The chest popped open and Joan’s satchel and weapons were jammed into it. She grabbed her things and shot out of the small house and into the tense open courtyard. She barrel rolled behind a wall and popped up from the right side, she quickly disposed of an enemy and rolled around to the tree he was hiding behind. A few gunshots popped behind her and she dashed for cover, dirt flew up as she darted from her spot. Joan began to concentrate, her eyes began to dart furiously in different directions, she felt the world slow down and the clear perception of the area invaded her senses. She whipped around the corner and took out the 4 ponies that had been firing at her earlier. A few Rebels rounded there way around the largest building in Cloparosa, a courthouse. Red Bloods was hiding inside.
“Joan, fantastic work darling, a real red devil among shooters. Now we must get this man, he may know where Schizo could be.” Rarity Reyes said with her head held up, she turned towards her soldiers, her stylish poncho swaying with her movements. “And his is the right hoof to our enemies cause, we sever the hand and the monster will bleed.” She looked at the rest of the soldiers who had joined near by. Princess Luna sat back while Miss Reyes gave her rousing speech, a magnanimous orator she most certainly was. As she sat back watching 3 robed ponies entered the town and ran straight towards her, bowing when they reached her feet.
“The Moon hath returned, and I stand before you.” “What great joy it brings to be with the Night Mother.” “My Princess, my leader I am here to serve you!” The three ponies where kneeled before the night colored alicorn. She simply rested a calm hoof on their shoulders, they looked towards her joyously. One of them peeped out once more, “Princess we will serve your night in this life and the next!” Luna looked towards the moon that she could no longer raise and her eyes narrowed in towards the 3 Lunar Republic members.
“The Nightmare awaits its true return, my plans and visions I have been creating.” She looked compassionately towards the three, “You will not be here for when MY night truly returns, but when I return there will be a ‘New’ Lunar Republic, one that your children will run to.” She gave a cold glance back to her moon, her horn glowed lightly and a small breeze blew into the clearing. “My sister’s reign in the Solar Empire won’t last much longer. Even the sun will set upon her rule!” Joan looked back from the crowed wondering what Luna was doing, she hadn’t heard anything.
“Luna, we have uncovered many important things about the government in Los Pegasus.”
“Good tell, Joan, what she needs to know.”
“And now, the Enemy cowers instead of facing the justice he rightfully deserves. Now we go, Joan take the reins and go forth into the helm. He has caused you a deal of pain today.” Joan walked towards the door, you could hear from it coming the sounds of panic from a single soul. Joan jumped up and kicked the door in, Red Bloods was cowering in the corner. Joan trotted up to him and shoved her new double barrel into his face. “Where is she you cowered!?”
“Where is who?” Red Bloods said fearfully but with a tone of panicked hilarity. Joan grabbed him and threw him across the room, he landed with a thud.
“Schizo! WHERE IS SHE YOU OPULENT PRICK!” Joan yelled, spitting out profusely, her furiousness displayed with her spazy body motions.
“Now why would I tell you?” He smiled as he felt he had won for some reason.
Joan violently punched him across the face with her hoof. A small dribble of blood pooled out of Red Bloods muzzle. “Where. Is. She.” He didn’t answer but continued to smile at her. She relinquished two more strong punches on him.
“Joan! We have some news you should here.” One of the robed LR members spoke up, he pulled his cloak back, it was Light Chaser. “We have evidence to say that Schizo is residing in the Palace of the Sun in Los Pegasus. With Colonel Trixande.” Joan looked at Red Bloods, she then dropped him to the ground. She looked around the courthouse at the Rebels gathered around.
“He’s all yours, he has been causing problems for you much longer than he has for me.” Joan walked from the room, Rarity Reyes followed quickly as the shouts and screams of Red Bloods built up from the beating he was most likely receiving, and just a body he would soon become.
“Joan, the battle is almost over, our war almost done. It seems that our fabulous destinies have crossed yet again. Los Pegasus will be on alert now for any of the rebels. Before we mount our real attack on the final stronghold. A secret gem awaits us. I think if we send the Lunar Republic members to scout out possible weak points and attack areas that we could have an upper hand. And maybe even spread some rumors or panic among the citizens.” She placed a hoof on Joan’s shoulder. “We will march in a glitter of diamonds on the last enemy that shall be destroyed. Soon…soon we attack!”
The warm air was dissipating, coolness began to unfold upon the area. “Ah, most fabulous!” Rarity Reyes smiled as Joan and 4 Lunar Republic members climbed the hill to meet her. “Did your scout provide any information?” She said as the cool wind blew into her poncho.
Joan glanced at Light Chaser as he stepped forward. “The Tunnel’s lead to a small drainage ditch outside of the main palace walls, an obvious blind spot. We can sneak in from there. But it’s a small fit so we can only get so many through at once.” Reyes sat down for a second and twirled her mane. She looked towards the city she was prepared to storm, her eyes darted to the troops and then to the city that was afire from the setting sun behind it. She stood up and trotted to the edge of the small hill, her ponies below her. “Today, today is the day. My friends, my family. We have all lived and died in this land. It has always been ours, when they came here they brought oppression and corruption to us. We have been fighting for years, for years on hand we have sought to abrogate the rule of sanguinary officials. Trixande’s right hoof is gone, her left, her weakest. She must be on her back legs right now, she has eroded our harmonic balance. I will restore this land, neigh! Not I, but Us! We! We will restore the land.” She stomped a hoof down and like a fire her words spread out to her troops, they began to jump and cheer as the moon arose behind her and its glorious light shined upon her sparkly poncho. “Would you rather reward a pony for the deaths of the innocent? Or would you rather return it to the hooves of liberty, of freedom, to those who built this land. I fight today, for the land that we once inhabited, who will fight with me?” The crowed was uproarious, a collective cheer rang-out.
“Such an orator.” Princess Luna said as she trotted over to Joan. With her left eye, Joan could see a silver pony gallop up to Reyes and begin to speak into her ear. With her right eye, she concentrated on the Princess. “She gives better speeches then my sister ever did.” Rarity Reyes’s head shot over towards Joan and the princess, she gamboled over to them.
“Great news! Absolutely fabulously brilliant news! Our psychological warfare worked, the city is in panic. We must go now and strike. The Lunar Republicans will strike through the tunnel system. Would you join me one last time Mrs. Derpston on the helm of battle?” Joan smiled and nodded. The princess looked warmly upon the two and nodded that she was ready to move out.
-----
The battalion waltzed upon the city streets, mares and stallions panicking around them running and hiding, whispers and stares. They knew what was happening, but they did nothing. A small group of golden armored soldiers walked up to the group, there weapons slinged upon there back. They bowed there heads to Miss Reyes, she smiled and touched their golden helmets. Then they fell in-line with the rest of the soldiers. “Traitors!” a stallion yelled from a 100 yards back. He drew his gun, but he was shot down. The barrel of a Celestian Army rifle smoking from amongst Reyes’s ranks. “They are the real traitors.” The stallion said.
As the palace grew closer and closer, the battalion grew larger and larger. The walls stood before them, and so did the little faithful that Trixande would have left. A golden armored mare stood in front of the gate inwards. “Why have you betrayed us, you soldiers swore to protect what was good. And you citizens swore to do what was good.” She asked tearfully seeing her friends and even her family among the ranks.
“Miss Reyes IS fighting for what is good. Trixande fought only for her good and for that other mares good. Did you not see the bodies all those that she had murdered, the smell, what of their screams too! Do you not remember what you heard or saw?” The mare looked distraught but she soon fell to the ground crying. Rarity walked up to the mare and placed her hoof upon her shoulder. “Don’t ye worry. The end of this nightmare is upon us. Join us if what you believe we are good. But be prepared to perish if you choose the evil inside.” The mare shot up and jumped upon a mare and stallion amongst the ranks, crying upon their shoulders.
“Everypony spread out we will have to fight those who are left. On my words we will attack and move forward.” Looking up the hill towards the palace. Trixande was there, Joan felt the deathly cold she had felt when at Fort Cloudsdale, Schizo was here too. A small breeze flew into Joan’s mane. She turned to see Princess Luna behind her looking hopefully towards the palace. Soldiers popped up along the wall, shouting traitors and obscene things towards the battalion. Silence battered the hill now, nopony spoke, nothing came, no noise at all. A bright flash erupted from the palace walls followed by a distinct bang, they had begun firing. The battalion ducked behind their cover, Luna gazed towards the palace from her cover. Joan’s perplexed derp expression caught her attention. Luna shot an amazing beam out of her horn and it hit the soldier in the corner tower. Suddenly shadows swept across the walls, and many soldiers fell. Rarity yelled, “FORWARD!” They charged!
They burst into the gates, the LR members had stormed them from the side and caught them off guard. The rebels stormed in and began to fight some of the soldiers hoof to hoof. Rarity and Joan began searching among the fighting ponies. Rarity dashed to her left and jumped onto a light blue mare, Trixande. Joan looked around the clearing, ‘where could she be, where is schizo!’ She thought. She glanced around the clearing while avoiding the flying bodies of army soldiers and rebels fighting. She felt it though, the cold presence bearing on her, colder than any northern wind. Then it came, like an arrow through the psyche. That stare, piercing eyes, the wicked smile, the lustrous allure. The darkened windows couldn’t hide her eyes as they glowed red. Joan’s heart beat shook through her for a second, Schizo was staring right at her.
Joan dashed towards the mansion doors weaving in between flying and wrestling ponies, she couldn’t see it now, but the rebels were winning. The air felt tenser and the temperature to Joan dropped the closer and closer she got till she could almost see the sickening glow of Schizo’s eyes. She burst into the mansion and swung around the side of the door, as she suspected Schizo was waiting with a chair in her hooves. She swung but missed by an extraordinary space. Before she could react, Schizo had scurried to the end of the grand table. Then she jumped atop the amazingly well stocked table, a feast had been prepared for something.
“Good evening, a Joan! It has been…such a…what would you say, delightful time I have been having here. Playing…with you…” Schizo spoke out with her voice changing tone and pitch with each pause she took, this estranged talent or mistake in her forsaken genetics is what made her the best liar in the gang, and probably the reason that Dyslex fell for her.
Joan shifted slightly from her defensive position, “Good to see you to Schizo” she said with utmost sarcasm. “Nice to see that…that you haven’t changed at all.” In truth she hadn’t since the last she’d seen her. Schizo was a cream colored mare, although she was tanner than cream cause of how dirty she always was. Her hair although naturally swirly, was matted and unkempt with many strands going askew. The only thing natural about her hair was its color, it never changed no matter how dirty and matted it became. The same cobalt blue and light fuchsia swirls. Although always dirty her body never had any scratches. Lastly her eyes, the demented looking earth pony had something else even stranger on her, her left eye was an arctic blue, it wisped cold into your heart. While the right eye was bleeding red, or more like it was burning your presence with red. Although from far away her red eye eclipsed her blue eye.
“Ah yes! I have been having so much fun here. I heard you killed my ex-fiancé, how sad, she was a nice mare.” She slowly walked towards Joan weaving in between the meal courses laid out on the giant table. Her hips popped out in a seductive fashion which revealed the stitch on her backside. Schizo was the only pony in the gang that ever had a cutie mark, she was also the oldest in the gang, though she never aspired to be leader. She once described her mark as being, the heads of ponies talking to each other, we all assumed it was for her oratory skills. But before she joined the gang or more accurately, when she went insane, she sliced it off and stitched her skin back together. “What ever happened to that doctor fellow, did Dyslex kill him. Or is he at home, waiting for his, mare in bloody bandages to come crying home.” She spoke, she came closer and closer.
Joan’s forehead was furrowed, ‘how dare she!’ she thought. “Ha…ha…I’m so amused at your wise cracks that my psyche is obviously in disrepair.” She moaned out in an uninterested sarcasm. Schizo’s red eye flared up while her blue eye stayed perfectly still, a simple smile then graced her face.
She spoke to her left, “Leo, Rusty” she spoke to somepony that wasn’t there. “Are you watching cause its time for your favorite past time…” Suddenly she lurched forward and jumped at Joan. Joan stood up and was knocked onto her back as Schizo began to grapple for her, but she reacted quickly enough and launched the crazed mare into the air by swinging her haunches upward and kicking. Schizo flew gingerly through the air and landed awkwardly on her two back hooves. Joan charged after her, wings flapping furiously to get there. Schizo threw a downward punch which made contact to her head. Joan pressed her left hoof down and spun around kicking Schizo’s legs out from under her, she scrambled to her hooves.
“I know Leo, stop yelling at me!” Schizo said to the air on the left of the table, she lurched upward and overtook Joan with her strength. She threw some punches that connected with Joan’s muzzle. Small trickles of blood began to pour from her nose. Schizo laughed when she saw the blood, Joan took the open chance and pulled Schizo’s face towards her, and she flew her skull full force into her face. Schizo jumped up and fell backwards on her haunches grasping her nose. “Leo! I think she broke my nose!” she said once again to nothing. “Rusty stop laughing!” Joan flew up and tackled her throwing her head into the ground, Schizo retaliated by throwing Joan into a tall candle stick near a window. The candle stick struck her back awkwardly, which made her wings buckle to her back. Schizo charged at the disorientated mare, picking her up and smashing her into the wall, then flinging her around and throwing her into the table where she flew over it and took half the food on the table with her. “Sorry for the close call, Rusty. You should be more kind next time.” Once again speaking to a pony that wasn’t there. She trotted over to Joan and grabbed Joan’s survival knife from her satchel. She sat her body down on Joan’s hips, preventing her from kicking up. She launched the knife downward, the blade horizontal. Joan grabbed Schizo’s hooves and tried to stop her, but she was stronger than her, the knife slowly jerked downward. Joan’s hair flowing out, her hat had been knocked off of her head earlier. Blood wetted her silky blonde hair and Schizo’s mouth had blood around it from smearing it from her nose. “Joan, seems like your final chapter has been written, the story ends here…” Suddenly, Joan felt a cool breeze overcome the intense icy feeling that she was feeling, it pushed its way through her hair, calming her. The blade neared Joan’s neck, “HAHA!” Schizo laughed, “HA-heWHA!?” The pressure was alleviated form her haunches.
“Leo! Rusty! What’s happening!” Schizo cried out as she hovered in the air surrounded by a thin blue aurora. Princess Luna stood near the table, she had grabbed Schizo. She narrowed her eyes and magically tossed her into the wall. “AH!” she screamed in pain. “I’m usually the one pinning ponies to…walls.” Schizo laughed as she coughed up a little spit of blood. Luna approached her.
“How dare you! How dare you! How dare you attack my friend, how dare you suppress this land and bend it to your will.” Luna’s powerful voice ripped into the now terrified looking mare. Luna’s eyes began glowing and her body even began to glow. “You disgrace this land! You are but nothing, a murderer, a rapist, a manipulator of heresy. You are NOTHING!” Schizo let out a scream of terror as Luna’s blue body became consumed in the swirl of her mane. When the swirl settled down, the mythic dark mare stood there instead of the Princess. “Mwahaha!” She laughed. “I will make you feel a terror more intense than anything you put your victims through.”
Schizo let out a scream, a scream like nopony had ever let out before. That nightmarish mane swirled around and around consuming the two horses inside of it. More screams arose from the swirl, small spits of blood fell to the floor below the swirling mass of nighttime blue. Joan tried to look up, her vision fading, she had been bested, she should be dead, but she wasn’t, but alas she could only lay there.
The fiery blue mane of the now nightmarish princess dissipated, her magic ceased to hold up Schizo as her body fell to the floor, her limbs scrunched up in the fetal position. Joan could feel and hear her getting closer, yet she did not show the same fear.
“P-Princess…” she muttered weakly, her strength fading. The wind picked up again and blew into her being, she felt calm once again, a feeling she had come to welcome and know well. The blue aurora wrapped warmly around her, she became weightless and floated up gently. The dark horse spoke.
“I am no longer that princess. I am once again Nightmare Moon. Wicked I may be seen, but justified my meanings have always been. You showed something nopony ever did to me before.” Her magic began to float into the weak mares body, Joan felt it tingle and go into her, the cold breeze wrapped her up and she felt the energy the night always made her feel. “You have shown us something we will never forget. When our New Lunar Republic exists, if your life still breaths with you, you shall be welcome.” Joan floated to the ground, she stood firmly no longer feeling defeated as she once did, no blood upon her face. “No longer can I exist here, to weak I have become. I will speak to you once again!” The swirl of her mane consumed the fearsome looking mare, “In the NIGHT!” she screamed one last time and she disappeared in the blue of her mane.
Shivering, whispering, mangled, and messy. Schizo lay upon the bloody floor, scratches and scars scissored into her body, she stroked her mangled tail as she spoke. “So cold…so cold, so dark and cold. The darkness, the freezing isolation, so alone, so alone. The rock, so cold, space, can’t breath, can’t breath.” She continued to sputter out in her painful phrases. Joan, sighed and reached for the rope slung around her satchel. She began to tie up the ravaged pony, “So cold, so alone, so dark, the night, the night, so much pain, I feel it, all that she felt, so much pain, so dark, so alone. Save me, kill me, so cold, so cold, warmth here. Warming bodies, more light, see the light, so cold. See Leo, hi Leo, oh Leo…kill Rusty, Leo. Do it, he is dark he is cold, looks like her so cold, kill him…so cold…” Joan shivered as the crazy pony talked, she was in shock, her limbs had to be forcefully moved as if her body had gone into a living rigor mortis. She had dilated pupils and her eyes were both icy and cold. Joan shuttered, as she slowly arched her head towards her. “IT IS OVER!” She slammed her skull into the ground and looked forward, “Take me away” she said in between rushed and petrified breaths.
-----
“We are victorious!” Rarity Reyes shouted out across the courtyard to the Rebel troops still standing. A cheer chorused through the palace lot. “The evil of this land is gone, the harmony has been restored, I thank you all. Those who always stood in the face of corruption and those who came to realize the face of corruption. Trixande is in the dungeon, she will never again see the light of freedom, for her crimes are too great. I will try my best, to not only be the leader I promised…but to be one even better then I promised.” She nodded and Light Chaser stepped up to join Miss Reyes’s side.
“And the Lunar Republic thanks you, Miss Reyes, and all who risked it all. If only Shadow Striker was still alive, this would have been a glorious day for him to have seen. We thank you for this time we now have. We are now free to walk the light of day and the dark of night, now we can walk without fear of Trixande’s power mind. As she would have had us executed on spot. Now, we once again are free, for this we had made something special, a symbol of our appreciation and for the well being of your new government.” The silver muzzle of Light Chaser nodded to the palace walls, Master Night Stalker signaled to other LR members around the wall and banners flipped down to cover the old and torn Celestia Sun banners. The new ones displayed 2 mares spinning around each other, one side held a Sun, the other side held a moon, in the middle was an equal solar/lunar eclipse within the eclipse was a small blue and orange diamond. The crowd of rebels cheered, the land was now freed.
-----
“Where will you go now, Joan?” Miss Reyes asked.
Joan looked over at the tied up but shivering body of Schizo, “I have to give that mare back to Celestia and the futurists.” Schizo kept yelling about how cold and terrified she was. Light Chaser approached the group, he interrupted, “Miss Derpston, where is the Princess?”
Joan looked up to the moon, she somberly smiled, “She’s gone.”
Light Chaser gasped, “Is she…” He glanced over at the crowd of mixed rebels and LR members, he began to whisper, “Is she dead.”
Joan smiled, “No my friend, in fact she is far from it. She’s gone back to the moon. I’d believe she is planning and getting ready, for when she will return again. As she told me…as she told me when she saved my life. I owe it to her twice over.”
The robed LR member sighed briefly, “That is our Princess, and her kindness brings us the cool to relinquish the burning of the sun. She always watches those who are in need of a little saving.” He bowed his head and walked back towards the LR members, this would be the last time Joan would see them.
“So I assume that you’re off to Canterlot?” Miss Reyes said. “I wish you good luck, and I hope your family is safe.” She bowed her head to the grey pegasus. “I will always remember what you helped us do. Our debts are equal I’d say, but Nuevo Equestria will never forget your name.” She bowed once more, Joan returned with her very own bow, the wind blew about coolly, Joan felt calmed as the wind flew into her mane. She gazed at the moon, smiling warmly at it.
“Leo, you are useless. Useless, read my still bloody lips, USELESS!” The bright sun bore down on two mares and a 3rd one metaphysically. Schizo, still bloody and mangled from her confrontation with Nightmare Moon, was lying on a wagon bed, her hooves tied up. Joan pulled the wagon behind her, to her sides were the now lush and green hills of Equestria, Ponyville was just a mile ahead. Cloudsdale, a mile behind her. The floating cloud fortress had now been transformed into a floating city, a metropolitan of weather production.
Joan rolled into Ponyville, faces were bright, in the time she had been in Nuevo Equestria, Marshal Dash and the deputies had vanquished the remaining members of both Walton and Dyslex’s gangs. The deputies had been promoted and moved to different cities, Snipes to Seaddle, and Trails to the Baltimare, but the marshal stayed in Ponyville.
“Well, I’ll be. If it ain’t our favorite cowmare. Joan! It’s great to see you.” Gala MacApple burst out of the Marshals office and jumped onto Joan. Marshal Dash calmly trotted out behind her, “So glad you’re alive, we weren’t sure how you faired with the rebellion and all.” The orange mare said.
“I wasn’t worried at all, if you could survive Cloudsdale you could survive anything.” The marshal spoke coolly. She took a quick look at the wagon and the crazed pony who had been babbling to her friend “Leo.” “I assume you’re headed off to Canterlot to turn her in…”
“Yea…I did stop to retrieve my husband but…the shop was boarded up. What happened marshal?”
The marshal looked towards Canterlot but she was looking straight past it. “He said he needed to find something or fix something.” She looked back to the gray pegasus, “I wasn’t going to stop the Doctor. So he went north, maybe you’ll find him in Canterlot.”
Joan shifted slightly to her right but smiled nonetheless, “Thanks Marshal,” she nodded at Gala, “Gala, thank you for everything, we’ll keep in contact. Hopefully I can return to Trottingham Ranch soon.” Gala gave her a hug before she left to go back to the farm. The marshal waved for Joan to carry on but her face was worrisome. “What is it?” She questioned.
The two carried on up the path towards the royal lands, “Joan…I’ve been hearing some things from up north. Them prissy ponies on the trains saying that something is going on up north, from Canterlot to Manehatten, even up to Trottingham.” Schizo yelled something that was almost inaudible, but it sounded like she was yelling, “Drink, Drink, Drunk.” The marshal and Joan continued moving forward, closer and closer to Canterlot’s mountain rise. “They been sayin’ somepony has made host in the royal lands area, and…” She paused for a moment, Schizo yelled the same thing she had just said although two time louder, the Marshal looked uncertainly into the valley below where the palace hung over. “They say that there has been a serious string of shootings, murders, robberies, and such. Joan if anything I’d say that its-”
Joan cut her off, a despairing shine blinked in her derped eyes, “Epileps…”
“That’s what I figured too.” She was worrisome, “I just hope we’re wrong.”
-----
“So why’d you run, Schizo.” Joan asked after an hour of silent path trotting. “Why’d you run from Dyslex?”
“Oh that’s such a silly question, Leo why don’t you tell sweet little Joan why I left…” The crazed mare spoke sweetly to the piece of wood next to her. She nodded her approval as she “heard” the story being told out. Joan rolled her left eye and continued forward, “Oh Leo. You forgot about the part where my brother dies. Oh well, he’s probably more than six feet under. Gorge, why of course Leo, what else would I have used.” The torn up mare continued to carry on and on and on and on about her past. “Haha and remember when The Doctor got captured by us and then we held him over a canyon for a day. He was screaming something about having two heart attacks at once!” Joan’s face hardened. “Oh and, and even better, silly old Joan here, gone and done married him. She even had a foal with him!” Joan stopped the wagon and slipped out of the harness, Schizo was laughing hysterically about the torture they put the Doctor through but complimenting him upon his abilities to escape with that “fancy thingy of his.”
“Ok, time for you to sleep.” Joan said with an enlightened face.
“But I’m not tired.” Joan threw a venomous punch into Schizo’s cheek which opened up some of the cuts Nightmare Moon had given to her, a small trickle of blood seeped from them, she was knocked out. Joan smiled and carried the wagon forward again.
-----
The sun was nearly set now, she had finally reached the backside of the mountain, a large plateau spread from the back and their lay the city of Canterlot. A small trip through the mountain would bring you to the hanging castle where the Princess resided. The gates into the city had several gold armored guards posted. One recognized her and ran into the gates. He returned a minute later with the little purple dragon known as Spike Fordham.
“Joan!” He yells surprised to see you, “We weren’t expecting you back for another month.” He hesitated slightly continuously peering at the wagon. The wind from the now rising moon blew into her mane giving Joan a happy feeling. “And, that’s amazing Joan.” He had finally seen the passed out mare in the wagon bed, “You, you captured Schizo.” He was undoubtedly amazed; he cleared his throat, “Ahem…what happened to Dyslex?”
“She killed herself, Marshal Dash can confirm the fact that she is dead.”
He smiled and nodded his head in satisfaction, “I am impressed with your work. Come with me, Ross and the Princess will want to speak to you.” He turned towards the gate guards, “Mrs. Joan Derpston is a friendly and she is to be treated as one, she will be allowed to go in and out of the city as she pleases.” Gold armor bodies shifted, their right hooves just over there eyes, saluting. The two continued into the gates.
“So Marshal Dash Johnson helped you defeat Dyslex?” Spike asked as they walked through the city and into the mountain to reach the Palace.
“Yep she was there through the thick and thin of it. I was also aided by her deputies, whom I heard got promoted and sent to different towns. Gala MacApple from the apple family, and Celt who got a job on the Fort Cloudsdale construction site. They all helped as well.” She said happily, although purposely leaving out the Doctor from the conversation. The two passed through the damp mountain cave and were outside the palace gates, Twilight Shining Ross was waiting. The little purple dragon walked up to Twilight. She had a light purple coat, her hair was a thick purple but most of it was covered by her light tan hat. Her tan overcoat hid most of her body, except that of her hooves when she walked. Two small bulges formed around the sides of her stomach, Joan knew exactly what they were. Ross was the highest ranking official in the Futurism Bureau behind the Chief Operator. She had an unrestricted pass to do anything she pleased to do, when Joan had been captured she once said with a smile, “Everything can be covered up. Although nothing can be forgotten.” Joan thought of how true this simple statement was, ‘I had covered up my past, but the Bureau never forgot.’ She thought to herself. Agent Ross approached her, she had an uptight stance as she walked giving off waves of superiority. This is a reason Joan hated police officials; they walked with such gusto as if they were impervious to everything.
She reached Joan and glared her in the eye, “You work very fast.” A foreboding pressure impounded on her as the Agent worked her way around the cart. She examined with her keen eyes, noticing every detail of the battered mare in the cart, “Interesting, multiple lacerations to the whole body. Stitches on the hinds from her self implemented skin removal.” She halted moving, “Tell me Joan, how did she get all these cuts?” A quick gust came into the mountain side and blew the entire mountainside around. The air stopped flowing and once everypony recovered, Joan spoke.
“She had those when I found her, can’t say our tussle created a few more.” A slur of honesty squeaked into her voice, Ross continued circling the wagon. “When do I get to see my daughter again?”
Ross walked up next to her, “Walk with me…” she moved forward but without turning back. “We have some…plans…to discuss.” She said caustically.
-----
“Your majesty.” Ross bowed her head towards the white alicorn mare, Spike did the same. Joan didn’t bow. The princess bowed respectively back towards her agents. She lifted her head up to speak, “What news have you brought me, Ross?”
“According to Joan, Dyslex, charged with 37 charges of Murder, 20 of Petty Theft, 4 of felonies in Theft, 8 charges of Disorderly Conduct under the influence of Salt, 40 counts of Assault, and 14 charges of Rape. Dyslex, killed by her own hand.”
The princess thought for a second, “Can anypony validate that?” She smiled, waiting for a chance, waiting for a time to catch her.
Joan spoke up, “Marshal Dash Johnson of Ponyville can validate my claim.”
Celestia’s eye narrowed with her wings spread, she shouted and a voice as powerful as Luna’s had been flew into the three bodies below her thrown. “Did I address you!?” She screamed into them, her agents slid backwards but Joan remained unmoved, unbroken.
She returned the same look the princess had given her, “I’ve done as I was told, when do I get to see my daughter.” Calmly she stepped forward, Celestia slid her wings back and she nodded at her agents. They bowed and left the room, slamming the door behind them.
Celestia smiled venomously, “You won’t, and you’re not done yet.” She walked down her thrones pedestal and approached the cowmare. To Joan the princess oozed bad feelings, she was disgusted by how she made her feel, she much preferred being with the agents than with her. The princess’s rules were very strict and she felt almost tyrannical at times, yet in the very same discussion she could come off as the most generous pony alive. Her discorded moral presence made one of Joan’s eyes fly off to the left and her other all the way to the right. “You see, your daughter was killed in a prison riot a week ago. They buried her in the prison graveyard too.” Joan froze, solidified to the royal Kashmir red carpets in the throne room. Celestia giggled a little as she walked past the frozen mare. A couple feet past her, a whirl of coat and two barrel clicks erupted through the hall.
“You’re a terrible liar…” Celestia turned around to see the mare on her back hooves, a single hoof extended forward firmly grasping the stock of her double barrel shotgun. Tia stepped forward putting her nose right on the tip of the gun. Her flowing mane brushing and pouring around Joan’s body, surprisingly this began to comfort her.
“You’re right I am.” Tia smiled, Joan lowered her gun. “Go to agent Ross, you’ll see your daughter very soon.” She smiled and stared compassionately at Joan, “Your status to the kingdom Joan…ehm I mean, Special Agent Joan Derpston. Your status has been raised. Finish this last piece of the puzzle, and everything will be as it once was.” Her genuine smile, the one that everypony knew, warmed its way into Joan. A small thought pierced her brain, ‘Why does her mood change so much.’ She exited the throne room.
The door shut, in front of her stood the two agents. Agent Ross was saluting her while Spike Fordham held two items in his claws. “Congratulations special agent. You’ll be working with us and another two mare team from here on. I’m assuming you know who were up against.”
“If I didn’t I’d be worried about my head, Agent.” Joan sarcastically smirked, she raised her eyebrows at the items Agent Fordham had for her.
“Ah yes, Joan, these are your Bureau specialty items, your Special Agents Badge and your special issue firearm. A Colt Model 11 High Power Pistol. High Accuracy Firing and Immense Stopping Power. This weapon is yours from now on.” Spike fastened the badge to Joan’s duster coat. Twilight made a motion suggesting she wished to tie the weapon holster to her. Joan nodded her consent. Twilight Shining Ross fired up her horn from under her hat and pulled up the duster coat. Joan’s eyes smashed inwardly and her muzzle scrunched up as the leather straps of the holster weaved underneath her thigh and wrapped her way around her flank. To simple say, she wasn’t sure whether she was being violated or not.
-----
The three agents walked down through the mountainside tunnel and into the actual city of Canterlot. “I can’t believe that Epileps is back…” Joan said. Her old gang leader had finally come back from the brink of alcoholistic insanity and into the light of day. From cave hopping to grave robbing, Epileps had some how survived the gang being dispersed. Her fur and mane color matched that of her favorite berry colored whiskeys and wines, which was commonly the first thing she’d do after a successful robbery, drink. Nopony knew what her name meant or where it came from, except for her and the gang memebers, she kept that all to her self. Agent Ross was leading her towards the house of her other client, a strange pink mare by the name of Stephamina, at least that’s what Ross told her. “So Joan, tell us anything about Epileps you know, anything that could help. Our data on her was very limited…”
“Well the first thing to learn is that she hates bright flashes, sudden lights especially in enclosed spaces, and fire.” She glanced towards Ross, Twilight Ross told Joan that she had a photographic memory, Joan honestly had no idea what that was but maybe it was working in her, remembering some event from her past because the Agent had her hoof at her chin, simply perplexed in concentration by the thought. “And her biggest strength and weakness is that stomach of hers, she could hold any amount of liquor she drank, but if she ain’t had any in a while, she’d start havin fits and a major attitude problem. Plus her spasms and ev’rything made her a mess.”
“OOH!” The purple unicorn’s sudden epiphany caused her assistant to jump and belch fire. “Epileps is suffering from a double condition…” Joan and Spike Fordham tilted there heads slightly. “She suffers from alcoholism, a condition from over consumption and addiction to highly alcoholic substances. What sort of drinks did she consume?”
“Something illegal, potent wines, lunarshine, double batch cider, sun salt, anything with more potency than what’s allowed.”
“Interesting, another crime to add to her list, but alas I am amazed at her second condition, I’ve never met a pony with the condition known as Epilepsy. Is this why she is named so?”
Joan stepped back, simply to say, she was clueless, it had never came to her that Schizo’s name for their leader had actually had anything to do with her random fits. She collected herself, “We all took on different names, I never knew my real name, don’t think my mother ever even gave me one, she died real young…and lets say…” Her vision got warm and fuzzy, “My pa…he was never one to stay around, I’m sure he’s gone and got himself killed by now.”
Ross put her hoof down, “I feel I stuck a wrong chord…”
“No, no it’s fine, we all gave each other names…at least, Schizo named us all. It made the gang feel more like a family, a messed up, shoot you in the back leave ya for dead family.” The group stopped in front of a tall brick building, the paints were exuberant colors, pinks and yellows swirling in many locations. The entrance sign said this, “Professor Stephamina Dianatella McPie: Biologist and Psychologist.” They entered.
“Oh, where is it…” a mare’s voice said from deep in the brick building. The clopping hooves in the background made a sound as if a hundred ponies were running around. “I knew I should have put them away before I started sugar!”
Agent Twilight Ross stepped forward, “Ahem, Professor McPie!” The stampede of hooves silenced, a poof floofy curly haired pink colored mare in a nice brown suit stepped through the swinging door to the buildings kitchen. She gasped for an elongated period, then suddenly and finally extremely surprisingly…
“OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH!” She bolted straight for the Agents, “Agent Ross If I’d known you were coming I would have baked some treats for you and I see you brought a guest another client or agent I presume oh I’m so excited oh and ya know that I’ve been busy with research into the files you gave me so far so far I have nothing past possible cave system dwellings but there are loads and loads of cave dwellings in and around the north eastern sector of Equestria not to mention all the snow caves on the Arctic North’s border and even the expansive Timberwolf Woods!” The pink pony cheerfully rambled all her info out in a quick and precise manner. She smiled gleefully at the agents.
Agent Ross looked towards the map on the wall, several pins and dots aligned the north eastern portion of the map. “A small portion of land on the map, but a huge chunk of Equestria, we’ll start from around Trottingham.”
“Trottingham…” Joan peeped.
“Your home…” Ross looked dearly at Joan. “Meet us at Trottingham after you visit your homestead. But don’t take longer than an hour, we need all the daylight we can get.”
-----
It took 5 minutes for Joan to fly to the Trottingham Ranch, the 3rd largest harvester of wheat for Trottingham, that was while Joan was their at least. She swerved onto the property. Generally it looked a dirty barren color, but that was the price of working wheat. Joan had left Harvest, a worker she had hired when she bought the farmland, in control, Harvest had become family so her trust was well placed. The planting season would start soon. The homestead itself had remained how Joan had left it, maybe a little wind beaten but it was fine. A shadow shuffled from the window panes. The door burst open and a golden coated mare with carrot colored hair burst out, Harvest.
“Joan!” She shouted with a smile and was in full gallop towards our hero. She jumped onto Joan, “Harvest, great to see you!” Joan replied to the attacking hug. “I see the farm is fine.”
“Well…” she shifted her hooves lightly, “The land and the house are fine, as for the we had left over…” She looked towards the silo, which looked fine. “Bad storm hit one day,” Joan knew which storm she spoke of, “silo got damaged, sold most of our excess to repair it. Should have enough left over to last us, but…”
Joan pushed Harvest’s straw hat over her eyes, “No you did the right thing, I would have done the same.” Joan got distracted by something. She was looking towards the hill that overlooked the dead apple tree that used to bear good amounts of fruit. Harvest noticed the character too.
“Hey…who’s that?” She said. Joan noticed the suit and hat, she spoke grimly, “Let me talk to him…”
“Ah! Joan, this is some lovely land you own.” The suited pony said with a stark grin. Like the last times his body was clothed in his blue suit and top hat, the skin of his face was of a sickly pallor, it was so white as if he was a marshmallow. Underneath his cold blue eyes was a very pernicious shadow. But different this time was his suit was torn in several places as if someone had thrown him off a cliff.
“What are you doing here!?!” Joan questioned him sharply.
“This is a very nice spot. I really like this spot, overlooks the apple tree, can see the whole plot of land…a nice spot.” His tone was… “sludgy,” Joan thought, his words seemed to slowly and disgustingly or frighteningly ooze out towards her. Her spine tingled at his speech.
“Mr…umm, I’d love it if you would kindly get the buck off my land!...What’s your name anyhow, strange pony…?” She asked…
He smiled, the shadows of his face glowing a sinister black, “Like my being, I have multiple names, depends what you see me as. Some call me one name, others call me another.” He slowly trotted around Joan in a mini-circle.
“That’s not an answer…” Joan grunted, she quickly grabbed for her pistol. “Tell me your name!” she yelled at him. He looked at her once more, “I am the Discord of Harmony, the Placid Lake in a Panicked Storm, the Chaos of Concord. I go by many, same as you have…” He turned his back to her and looked towards the sun, Joan’s hoof tensed around the gun, “Theif,” Joan fired, but she missed, she couldn’t believe it herself but she missed. “Killer,” she fired again, and again she had missed. Joan could feel the familiar cold breeze into her mane, it helped enough. She turned away from the suited stallion’s cold blue gaze. “Oh! And Joan,” She stopped walking, but refused to look towards him. “You have another name too…but you have yet to earn it though.” He continued to look around Joan’s farm land. “This is some very nice land…”
Joan ignored him and walked down the hill, still fuming at the arrogant stallion. Suddenly a rustle of leaves and breaking of branches, a cacophony of noise poured from behind Joan. She turned around and saw a stallion hanging from the apple tree. It was not the stallion she had just been talking to, yet he had his suit and the hat hung from a branch nearby him. A tightly knit noose around his throat, blood from some injury in his side dripped down his ruined suit…Joan shivered, the blood swelled in the same area she had been shot in. An old revolver lay beneath his hanging body, it had rusted away any shine. Joan forced herself to look away from the image, another breeze came into the area, nearly taking off Joan’s hat. When she looked towards the body…it was gone.
-----
The Agents were easy to spot, being the only two on the edge of town. Trottingham was a strange town, it was the most northeastern piece of Equestria before you reached the Arctic North where snow draped every piece of land. Trottingham’s location made it a very diverse place, Equestrians were the most prominent species but Griffons and Saddle Arabians could be found amongst the citizens. To the east was the gateway to the Griffon Kingdom, to the south was Trottingham Port, the Great Ocean, and Manehatten. To the west and north was Trottingham’s Ranches (including Joan’s), vast woodland areas, and the Arctic North. Joan landed next to the Agents who smiled lightly. “Good Timing Joan.” Spike Fordham said as a greeting, Twilight Ross was looking towards the forests to the north.
“Stephamina went to find our forest contact, she lives in the wild around this area, although her husband and son live in Manehatten.” A rustling in the forest bushes disturbed the scene, Stephamina McPie gamboled out of the forest scene. She stopped suddenly in front of Agent Ross, “I Found Her!” she cheerfully bellowed. She turned towards the forest, nothing happened. Ross rolled her eyes and stepped forward, “Please do not tarry. We have much to do, Nastashy.”
“NO I DON’T WANT TO!” She screamed with an adorable hush to her voice. The foliage moved slightly and a creamy yellow colored hoof shot out of it. “THAT ONE PLANS TO LEAD ME INTO DEBAUCHERY!” Joan’s eyes became very cross, as they normally did. “SHE WISHES TO BEGUILE ME! I CAN SEE THE DEVIOUSNESS IN HER EYES!” More adorable hushed screams arouse from the bushes.
Joan responded first to her verbal attacker, “Now what in Luna’s name are you ‘spackin’ about?” Ross shifted slightly at the mention of Luna… “I ain’t even said a single word to you and you’re judgin’ my morals on my eyes?!”
“Joan is trustworthy, she’s here to stop Epileps. She freed Fort Cloudsdale.” Ross added.
The hoof disappeared from the bush, she seemed to muse over her situation for only a small second. A creamy yellow colored Pegasus emerged from the foliage, her coat was a little dirty and her mane was ratty. But she seemed like a rugged outdoorsmare otherwise. She wore a moderately worn blue coat and a red head band that held a red feather in it. Her cutie mark was three bird feathers of different hues. She spoke, once again extremely hushed, “I’m sorry, Miss Joan, for my diatribe. It was very….umm…well I was acting in a precipitous manner…” She looked towards Ross who nodded slightly with a smile. “My name is Nastashy, I live in the woods mostly, with the animals. But I am co-owner and caretaker at The Atrium Wildlife Study Center in Manehatten.” She reached out her left hoof, which contained a silver band over it. “Please accept my apology, I am normally in more of a staid manner.” Joan connected her left hoof to Nastashy, accepting her apology. Joan didn’t have a band like Nastashy’s, she wasn’t technically married to the Doctor, though in her heart she knew she was.
Ross interrupted, “Daylights burning Nastashy, what information do you have to pass on to us.”
Nastashy pointed to the small mountains exactly north of Trottingham, “The Pego-Griff Mountain Range, I’ve seen them gallop to and from that area. There are lots of caves with animals in that area too, so plenty of hiding places.” She looked back into the forest from whence she came, “The fastest way there is through the Timberwolf Ridge. But even the bandits have been avoiding that area. Instead they move around the entire Trottingham Forest and enter the range from where the Arctic North begins to eat away at the land.”
Ross placed her hoof towards her muzzle, she looked towards the forest, the ground, and the mountains. “Ok…” Her thoughts were mired on something. “Alright, Joan and Nastashy you’ll fly near the range, look for any sign of camps set up and try to get a knowledge for the land. But be careful not to stray too close to the Griffon borders, they’re still at war with the Emperius Chimera Dominion.” She turned towards Stephamina, “Stephamina, I need you to research the mountain range and the Timberwolf Ridge as best as you can. Spike, we’ll return to Princess Celestia and inform her of the news, while we’re there we can work with the Bureau and the Royal Guard to get ready for attack.” She returned her gaze to Joan, “We’ll all meet at Stephamina’s lab in Canterlot Town by sunrise tomorrow. Good Luck you two.” She nodded at Joan then Nastashy. Joan tipped her hat, smiled, and nodded to Nastashy, together they spread their wings and flew towards the northern mountain range. A cool breeze filled the area, but soon dissipated.
