The Mane Six Buy Their First Cars

by Caddy Finz

Chapter 5: Pinkie Peels Out

"Ohhh, well working too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!" Rainbow Dash sang Billy Joel to herself as she polished the fenders of a Cadillac. "You oughtta know by nowww!"

Flim and Flam were taking a much needed and well deserved vacation in the city of Las Pegasus, leaving Rainbow Dash to run the dealership in their absence. It had been a full week since the brothers left and it would be another before their return. The last several days had been slow as Rainbow Dash only sold an average of two to three cars per day as most of the residents of Ponyville had already gotten one of their own. Most of the customers were from neighboring towns lately.

Overall, Rainbow Dash found her new job to be quite easy. All she had to do was show up at nine o'clock each morning, sell cars, fill out some paperwork, keep the office clean and polish some cars in between customers. It was nothing she could not handle. Today was especially simple as she had yet to get her first customer of the day, giving her spare time to learn more about automobiles. There were few things in life that Rainbow Dash felt were worth spending a lot of time learning about but she had found quite the interest in cars as of late. If the delicate little Fluttershy could learn to perform clutch repairs as quickly as she had, then Rainbow Dash could at least learn the basics of how an engine worked.

Rainbow continued to hum to herself as she finished waxing the last car that needed it and proceeded to go to the service garage where she would spend some time. The floors inside needed to be mopped and she figured it would be a good time to get a good look at some of the under hood components of the current project car and maybe learn a few things about them.

During what little spare time they had, Flim and Flam had told Rainbow Dash through idle conversation that they were restoring a 1959 Cadillac Sedan Deville. The impressive piece of automotive history sat up on a set of jack stands in the back of the garage, just waiting to be finished. Even though the paint had been scraped off down to bare primer, Rainbow Dash stared in awe at the nearly twenty foot car that sat before her, images of what it would look like all finished going through her mind. To see one of these hard to find gems was a rare treat to the assistant salespony.

"Sweet ride, isn't it?" Said a squeaky, high pitched voice, startling Rainbow Dash.

"Bwa!" Rainbow Dash yelped. "Pinkie! What are you doing in the trunk?!"

"Oh, Dashie..." The pink mare said as she hopped out of the trunk of the massive classic car. "You know better than to question my logic."

"What logic?"

"Exactly!"

"Okay but that still doesn't excuse the fact that you were messing around with my boss's priceless show car."

"What, this old junk heap?"

"This junk heap is one of the most coveted, sought after pieces of machinery who's trunk you've ever hidden inside. It's an old clunker now but just you wait til this thing's restored. Hey, speaking of cars..."

"Uh huh?"

"Did you get one yet?"

"That's why I'm here, silly!"

"Cool. I was getting kinda bored with all the cleaning today so I'll show you what we've got."

Being pleased by the change of pace brought on by her friend's presence, Rainbow Dash eagerly led an even more eager Pinkie Pie out to the car lot. Though the two had been close friends for many years, Rainbow Dash still was not quite sure what kinds of features the party mare would need in a vehicle. Realizing that she does tend to carry around large, bulky equipment, The new salespony took her friend over to the pick-up trucks.

"So lemme guess..." Rainbow Dash began. "You need something to lug your party cannon around, right?"

"Yes indeedy!" Pinkie replied.

"That and a bunch of other stuff?"

"You betcha!"

"Okay, how about one of these?"

The vehicle in question was a mid sized pick-up that surely would be just the right size for carrying Pinkie's party supplies. The truck was a slate gray in color and featured a full crew cab for carrying other ponies too. Being as that is usually what the crazy pink mare does, this particular vehicle should be just what she needs.

"Check it out, Pinks." Rainbow Dash said. "This is a 2008 Dodge Dakota. Fully loaded with a crew cab, four wheel drive and a 4.7 litre V8. Not too big, not too small. I think this one's perfect for you. No no, no need to thank me so much. You're very, very welcome."

"I don't want it." Pinkie said cheerfully.

"W-what? Why not? It's just right for you!"

"Dashie, only I know what's right for me and I know what's right is something smaller. Much smaller."

"Okay fine, Pinkie. Just a little further down, we have the smallest trucks you can find. How about this one?"

"Oooh, that is a tiny little bugger! What is it?"

"A 1981 Volkswagan Rabbit. The only front wheel drive production truck known to ponykind. It's got a diesel and two rear facing seats just behind the cab for when you wanna carry some friends around."

"Coolio! Now where are the cars that I really wanna look at?"

"What, you don't like this one either?"

"I don't want a truck."

Rainbow Dash paused for a moment to pull a small rubber ball out of her vest pocket and repeatedly squish it on the ground with her hoof in an attempt to calm herself. She was always a hot headed mare and with a trigger such as Pinkie Pie around, she had to try her best keep from doing something that could cost her a close friend.

"Pinkie?..." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"Yeah, Dashie?"

"Why did you let me show you the trucks when the whole time, you didn't even want one?!"

"Well duh! I wanted a tour. Now I'm ready to look at what I want."

"And that is..."

"A compact!"

"But...your party cannon...and that stupid exploding wagon of yours..."

"Uh huh? What about them?"

"You know what? Never mind, just follow me, okay?"

The two friends then trotted to the South-East side of the lot where the smaller economy cars were kept. The tiny vehicles that sat on the pavement looked as if they could fit into Rarity's Buick and still leave enough room for several passengers. Some of these cars might even fit inside the trunks of the average mid-sized sedans.

"Sheesh, who needs a spare tire if you got one of these?" Rainbow Dash said. "Just keep one of these in the trunk and if you get a flat, you got a spare car!"

"And that's the kinda thing I'm looking for!" Pinkie replied.

"Alright, well on the topic of VWs, this one here would probably be really you. This is a 1974 Beetle. An air cooled four cylinder in the rear and a nice, spacious trunk in the front to carry whatever stuff you need."

"Sorry, Dashie." Pinkie said. "Still too big."

"What the-how? How is this thing too big?!"

"Just is."

Once again, Rainbow Dash used her stress ball and was very aggressively squishing it on the ground, her face turning a bright shade of red. After a moment of relieving her anger, she calmed down and proceeded to lead Pinkie down the lot.

"I bet you'd like this '71 AMC Gremlin." Rainbow Dash said.

"Powertrain?"

"238 cubic inch straight six."

"Gas mileage?"

"Seventeen on the highway, going down hill, with the wind at your back during a blue moon when all the planets are aligned."

"I don't want it."

"What do you want then, Pinkie?! You can't get much smaller than this Geo Metro here."

"Now that's more like it!"

"Yes! Thank you! Jeez, I thought we were gonna go nowhere all day!"

"Meh, it's still not exactly what I'm looking for but I guess I'll settle with tha-hello, what's this?"

"What's what?"

"This!"

Just a few cars down, Pinkie spotted a car in particular that she found to be quite interesting. She eagerly bounced over to the vehicle in question and proceeded to look over what little of the actual car there was, the look in her eyes that of fascination and sheer desire.

"What are you looking at, Pinkie?" A confused Rainbow Dash asked.

"This car here, silly." Pinkie replied.

"Where? I don't see a car here."

Pinkie then pointed towards the ground at the object that caught her attention. Rainbow Dash then looked down to see what resembled some type of "vehicle" that neither of the ponies had ever seen nor even imagined before. The car was a shade of dark blue, had two wheels in the front, one in the rear, and appeared to be able to seat no more than one very small pony.

"Did somepony's foal lose a toy?!" Rainbow Dash hollered as she looked around for anypony appearing to be missing something.

"No, Dashie, this is a car!" Pinkie replied. "And it's mine now!"

"Seriously?"

"Yup!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm buying it."

"There is no way you're gonna fit your party cannon in this...this...what the heck is this even?"

"Dunno. This tag on it might tell us though."

"Okay, hang on a sec."

Rainbow Dash paused for a moment to read the tag and find out as much about this admittedly fascinating vehicle as she could. The more she scanned the page, the harder it became for her to stifle laughter.

"Okay, so here's the deal." Rainbow Dash said as she began to explain to Pinkie what they were looking at. "This is a 1963 Peel P50. It's got a forty-nine CC two stroke moped engine, top speed about thirty-five miles an hour and gets...one hundred miles to the gallon. wow, that's...amazing actually."

"This is my dream car!" Pinkie beamed.

"This thing looks like Fisher Price (R) and a Ford Taurus had a baby!" Rainbow Dash said in disgust.

"This thing is adorable!"

"You could fit this thing in a saddle bag!"

"So?"

"So this thing is ridiculous! You can hardly fit yourself in it, let alone you and your stuff! And worst of all, it's so slow! That's horrible!"

"I have my ways, Dashie. And what did I say about questioning my logic?"

"Again, what logic?"

"See? You know better. So let's talk business. How much for this masterpiece?"

"Uhh, let's see. It says...five thousand bits?! These guys are outta their minds!"

"Well it's an antique and there are only a few hundred known to exist anymore. This thing's a rare gem."

Pinkie Pie finally found just what she was looking for and before they knew it, the two ponies were in the office filling out the registration and title. The crazy pink mare then wrote the flabbergasted salespony a check and was out the door about to try out her new ride. Wanting to see exactly how pathetic the car was, Rainbow Dash followed Pinkie outside to watch her drive it away, if it would at all. The latter was ready to go and kick-started the engine. Before she left however, she felt compelled to give her friend a parting gift.

"Hey, Dashie?" Pinkie called out from inside her car.

"Yeah, Pinks?" Rainbow Dash replied.

"Smile!"

Before Rainbow Dash could answer, Pinkie stuck the business end of her party cannon out the open door and pointed it directly at her. Seeing that it was loaded with frosting and confetti, the mortified Pegasus could do nothing but stand there frozen and await the sugar storm that was about to rain down upon her.

Boom!

Pinkie gave Rainbow Dash a taste of her signature confection ammunition and then proceeded to peel out and tear off down the street. With anypony else behind the wheel, the car would never squeal a tire and would go no faster than thirty-five miles per hour. Pinkie on the other hoof, was a force to be reckoned with and once again proved that with her around, anything is possible. Rainbow Dash just sat there in a heap of frosting and chunks of cake as Pinkie sped away at twice the car's specified top speed.

"At a hundred miles to the gallon, I bet this thing's cheaper than trotting!" Pinkie beamed as she disappeared off into the distance.

"As long as I live..." Rainbow Dash sighed as she continued to sit in the frosting. "...I'll never get that girl figured out..."

Author's Note:

Shout out to wolfdreamer for his suggestion with one of the lines in this chapter Thank you, sir and I hope you and everyone else enjoy reading this very much!

Comments

[strangephantasm]

CLOWN CAR!!!!!

[Barry From Mars]

Spoilers be ahead.

>"Ohhh, well working too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!" On first read I was thinking "What? 'Mars Attacks!' or that song by the Urinals?"

>Rainbow Dash sang Billy Joel to herself as she polished the fenders of a Cadillac. "You oughtta know by nowww!"

"Oh."

>Over all,

Should be "Overall" in this case.

>There were few things in life that Rainbow Dash felt were worth spending a lot of time learning about but she had found quite the interest in cars as of late.

Well, good for R.D.

Not mentioning how Pinkie showed up in this comment but good way for Pinkie to show up.

>Once again, Rainbow Dash used he stress ball

Her.

>1963 Peel P50 car

Sounds about right for Pinkie.

"Pinkie gave Rainbow Dash a taste of her signature confection ammunition and then proceeded to peel out and tear off down the street. With anypony else behind the wheel, the car would never squeal a tire and would go no faster than thirty-five miles per hour. Pinkie on the other hoof, was a force to be reckoned with and once again proved that with her around, anything is possible. Rainbow Dash just sat there in a heap of frosting and chunks of cake as Pinkie sped away at twice the car's specified top speed."

Clearly Pinkie put Cake in the fuel tank and it liked it.

I dunno, maybe it's just me but this one felt a teeny bit off for Pinkie being in character. Or if that's not it then what is it? Descriptions of Pinkie and the interaction between Pinkie and Rainbow Dash? It's like, in the show it never quite has been quite so abrupt and direct speaking of Pinkieizing things - and I don't mean the car, I mean speaking of Pinkie's no-logic life - speaking of it. Still, it is a decent job at this chjapter IMO.

[Caddy Finz]

6584870 LOL thanks for your support In the beginning, this story actually had a couple more dislikes than it does now but they've somehow gone Ever since I put the cover on it and started inserting images of the cars, the story became a lot more popular I was discouraged at a point because there was a time when this had 5 dislikes and only 6 likes Not a very good ratio as far as I'm concerned

[Caddy Finz]

6582532 Thanks for your thoughts on this one I read a few fics where they mentioned Pinkie's logic or rather her complete lack thereof and kinda thought it'd be fun to try myself. This one particular story that inspired me (MLP:FML by Maniac92) even features Pinkie talking to the author right in the middle of some of the chapters. I would highly recommend checking that one out, by the way.

ps- I'll be fixing those typos you addressed. Thanks

[Barry From Mars]

6587136

Yer wel-come!

6585988

Admittedly I found the fanfic because of the art. "Oh, Rarity next to a Station Wagon? I'll check it out... Oh, it's fanfic art. Maybe I'll read the fanfic."

[Caddy Finz]

6590927 See? Having a cover makes a lot of difference. I had two chapters out and then finished the third but I held onto it and didn't release it until the cover was done. Figured releasing any new chapter WITH the cover would help. It actually worked out quite well

[TheAntiCat]

I can't believe I didn't clue into Pinkie's choice of car from the title. Anywho... I always figured Pinkie would drive anything weird. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure, the logical choice (in my mind) would be a 15 passenger E-150 but of course, we are not dealing with logic now are we?

How 'bout a follow up where Pinkie buys one of these weird FWD GMC motorhomes? XD
gmcclassics.com/clintdavis/GMCLongLow.jpg

[High_Fidelity]

"The only front wheel drive production truck known to ponykind"
Ponies don't know of the Dodge Rampage? This is a travesty!
Also, I think (but am too lazy to look it up,) that the Honda Ridgeline was available as FWD. It definitely is FWD when it's not got 4wd engaged.

6678744
My god, it's the Urban Assault Vehicle from Stripes!

[Caddy Finz]

8226351 Good point, my friend. I was unaware of those facts and I should have at least known about the Ridgeline as a relative of mine owns one. Hope you enjoyed this story. I had a lot of fun haphazardly slapping it together

[Silver_Spark]

6575717
Exactly what I was going to say!

[Betless]

i know I'm late to the party but this story is really freaking good