The Mane Six Buy Their First Cars

by Caddy Finz

Chapter 3: The Flutterbus

Flim dozed off in his chair in the office that he and his brother shared as it was a very slow day for business. With an ice pack atop his head from a domestic assault he had received from his sibling the previous day, he instead of taking a short nap, slipped into a deep slumber. The office was quiet enough to hear the faint ticking of Flam's favorite pocket watch that was inside a safe within several other safes under the floor boards.

It seemed as if they may not get so much as a single customer today and to the tired and sore Flim, that was just fine. The office was dusted, the newest inventory was serviced and polished to a perfect shine and all of the paperwork was filled out and filed to their proper box. The only thing for Flim to do now was rest to his heart's content.

"Ohhh Flimmonatorrrr!" Flam sang out as he burst through the office door, jarring Flim from his nap. "Wakey wakey or my hooves crush your trachie!"

"Gahh!" Flim winced as his headache made an abrupt return. "Thanks a lot, Flam! First you break my golf trophy over my head and now you come in here screaming like that and threaten to choke me! Have some mercy for Celestia's sake!"

"Well Flim, it's hardly my fault that those horrible Apples brainwashed you like that."

Aside from his headache, Flim was getting all the more angry with Flam insulting his new friends he had made in the Apple family as his pain worsened, making for a vicious cycle.

"Flam, I'm not going to tell you again..." Flim said through his teeth, his eyes tightly shut from the pain he was enduring. "They didn't brainwash me. That and I'll have you know that the Apple family happens to be a bunch of wonderful, honest, hard working ponies and I have had the great pleasure of better getting to know them yesterday."

"Aww, my widdle baby brudder getting all cwanky?" Flam mocked. "Maybe he should take his widdle nappy wappy so he can go pway wid his widdle girlf-OW!"

Flim responded to his older brother's insults by hurling his ice pack at him as hard as his aura would allow, hitting him directly in the muzzle. After Flam regained his composure, the two brothers stood glued to their positions and stared each other down, waiting for the other to make a move. Suddenly, Flim stood up on his desk and leaped towards Flam, his horn aglow and ready to fire. Flam was preparing to blast his younger brother into the next season and if they were not careful, their office would not be spared any damage.

"Um, excuse me but I'm looking for..Um, oh my goodness..."

The battle of the brothers was suddenly interrupted by a quiet little voice at the entrance of their office. Flam snapped his head into the voice's direction as Flim screeched to a halt narrowly missing slamming into the former with enough force to hospitalize both of them.

"Oh I'm sorry, is this a bad time?" A yellow Pegasus mare with a long flowing pink mane and teal eyes said. "I-I can come back later i-if you don't mind that is."

"Oh, no trouble at all, miss!" Flam reassured.

"You couldn't have come at a better time, dear!" Flim beamed. "Why, I was just in the process of running up to my brother and was about to give him a great big hug. Wasn't I, Flam?"

"But of course! What's the best brother in the world for, am I right?"

"Oh that's nice." The relieved mare said. "Well if you two have the time, I'd like help picking out a car."

"And we'd be delighted to assist you in finding the perfect vehicle that suits your needs." Flam said. "With us by your side, you'll be driving away in your dream car, miss..."

"Oh, um it's Fluttershy. We've met a few times before.

"I don't recall."

"It was a few years back during cider season when you had that big cider squeezy thingy."

"I have no recollection of such an event." Flim denied.

"You two did a whole five minute musical number about it. You don't remember?"

"Oh we remember that part, we just don't recall you being there."

"I don't usually make much noise."

"So, what kinds of capabilities are you looking for in a vehicle, Miss Fluttershy?" Flam asked.

"Well, I spend a lot of my time taking care of animals so something that could carry a lot of them at the same time would be nice."

"Do you know Applejack by any chance?" Flim inquired.

"Oh for Pete's sake!" Flam huffed. "You just won't shut up about that mare, will you!?"

"The reason I ask, Miss, is simply because she just purchased a large pick up truck from us yesterday. Would something like that fit the ticket?"

"Why yes, she's a very good friend of mine." Fluttershy replied. "I saw her new truck but I think I'd rather have something a bit more enclosed."

"Ah, then perhaps we can narrow it down." Flam said. "Let's go to the North end of the lot. I have an idea of what might work for you."

---

"Now, if it's passenger capacity that you're looking for, miss..." Flim began. "Perhaps You'd like a sport utility vehicle. We have a great selection of nice, roomy ones here."

"I think we even have a Caprice station wagon sitting around the back somewhere." Flam added. "It's a lot like the Buick the local Miss Rarity purchased recently."

"Or perhaps you'd like something along the lines of this Dodge Durango here. It seats eight and it's got a Hemi."

"Or if you want yet even more space, you might like this Chevrolet Suburban."

"Um, I'm not really sure I can afford something the size of my house." Fluttershy said. "They're...nice...but I don't think something quite that huge is in my budget. Otherwise they would be just fine."

"Ah of course, Miss." Flam replied. "Not to worry, we have plenty of other slightly smaller and more affordable ones."

"Let's take a look at the vans, shall we?" Flim said.

After a moment of trotting to the section where the brothers kept their van inventory, they brought her attention to a particular specimen that was both sizable and more affordable than the others they offered.

"How about this Chevrolet Astro here?" Flam asked as he pointed at a large, boxy vehicle. It was roughly the same height as the other vehicles the brothers previously showed but it was a few feet shorter. Its color was a dark green and it appeared to be about as streamlined as Fluttershy's pet bear. Be that at is may, it would most likely have no trouble accommodating him.

"This is a 2005 model." Flim added. "It features a 4.3 litre V6 vortec engine and this particular specimen has the optional all wheel drive package."

"That does sound good." Fluttershy replied. "How much?"

"All yours for nine thousand and one bits." Flam answered.

"Oh..."

"A little on the pricey side, I take it?" Flim asked.

"Well...yes. It's just a skosh too expensive. You see, I don't make a whole lot for what I do so I'm okay with getting something cheaper."

"No worries, Miss." Flam said. "Let's take a look at our smaller minivans, shall we?"

"This 2004 Honda Odyssey has your name written all over it." Flim said as he trotted over to a smaller silver coloured vehicle.

The van looked much sleeker much more streamlined than the other ones Fluttershy had seen before. It was over ten years old but obviously it was very well taken care of by its previous owner. There was not a single spot of rust nor dent nor chip on the paint. The tires appeared to be brand new as well and a nicely polished chrome "H" complimented the grille just above the front bumper. This minivan would be just what Fluttershy needs...

"If only it were a bit bigger." Fluttershy sighed as her head hung low. "I bet I could afford it but then there wouldn't quite be enough room for all of my an-Oh my goodness! Is that yellow one really only three thousand bits?!"

"Which one are you talking about, Madame?" Flam asked as the excited pagasus bolted over to the vehicle in question.

"This one right over here! It's perfect!"

"Um, miss?" Flim said as he and his brother joined Fluttershy by the massive yellow machine. "That's a school bus."

"I know! It's so big yet so affordable! I could carry every animal in the entire greater Ponyville area with this!"

What Fluttershy was so excited over was a 1987 Ford Econoline conversion van with a two piece sliding door on the curb side, a standard van door on the driver's side and four windows just behind them each with its own small bench seat. It was mostly yellow with a substantial amount of rust and many areas of the paint were faded into a slightly off white colour. Though the tires looked fairly decent with dual rear wheels on the back, the over all condition of the bus was outright deplorable.

"Are you sure you want this one?" Flam asked, trying to make it sound as unappealing as possible. "It's almost thirty years old."

"That's not so bad." Fluttershy said.

"It has over a million miles on it." Flim added. "That and it only get seven miles to the gallon."

"I wouldn't drive it a whole lot." Fluttershy replied. "Just to get my animals around a little bit. That's all."

"Uh, Flam?" Flim said. "May I have a word with you for a moment, brother?"

"I was about to ask you the same." Flam replied. "Please excuse us for a moment, Miss."

The two salesponies then trotted a few yards away to talk over a potential deal that could make them a modest amount of money but still allow them to keep their souls. The vehicle was an eyesore in their lot but their moral consciences were screaming at them to do the right thing.

"Flam, we only paid two hundred and fifty bits for this thing at the auction." Flim whispered to Flam. "Surely we don't have to charge this sweet mare three thousand for it."

"I think you're right for once, Flim." Flam replied. "The thing leaks about every type of fluid you can think of and I'm quite sure that weird whining sound is coming from the steering pump."

"Oh wow, It's a stick shift!" Fluttershy beamed as she observed the interior. "This will be so much fun!"

"The thing's a pile of cow patty." Flim said. "let's sell it to her for two. That way we can sleep at night."

"I agree, Flim." Flam replied. "Miss Fluttershy, if you really like that bus so much, you can have it for two thousand bits."

"Oh my!" Fluttershy gasped. "You mean it? Oh my goodness! I-I don't know what to say!"

After joining the two brothers in their office, Fluttershy filled out the paperwork, wrote out her check and prepared to drive her new machine home. She pressed the clutch pedal, cranked the engine over and after a few sputters and a nasty backfire, she was off. She waved back to the two whom had sold her the bus and after the muffler fell off, she disappeared down the road leaving a thick cloud of black smoke in her wake.

"Flim?" Flam said as the two waved to Fluttershy.

"Yes Flam?" Flim replied.

"We're going to Tartarus, aren't we?"

"No! There's still something we can do! We might take a loss on it but it's our souls at stake here! C'mon, I have an idea!"

The next day...

Dear Miss Fluttershy:

We at Flim Flam Bros. Used Autos Inc. would like to thank you for your business and we hope you enjoy your purchase. We are writing to you to extend another offer to you our valued customer to further enhance your experience with your vehicle. For the next full year, if anything goes wrong with it, bring it back to our dealership and we will service it free of charge. This includes not only repairs but scheduled maintenance as well. Need a new exhaust system? No problem! Radiator leaks? We will fix it! Oil change or brake service due? Leave it to us! Again, we thank you for your business and we hope we don't burn for all eternity to see you again.

Yours truly

Flim and Flam

"Oh wow, that's so nice of them." Fluttershy said after reading the letter the brothers sent to her. "Come to think of it, I think it could use a little work sometime soon. I can't wait to tell everypony in Ponyville what they would do for them!"

Later that day...

"Uh Flam?" Flim said as he observed a sea of eager looking ponies flooding the lot in front of their office. "I think our souls are in the clear."

"Oh...Oh my." Flam said as he looked out the window. "Well...word spreads fast in a small community..."

"See? What did I tell you? By doing the right thing for a change, we not only saved our souls but now business will be on the uptick!"

"That's all swell but we may want to hire some extra help soon. We'll need it if we're going to get the time to go to auctions and replenish our inventory."

"Less talking, more selling. These ponies are here to buy!"

Comments

[Caddy Finz]

6540862 Yeah I'm starting to really see how seriously people take it Honestly though, the thing between AJ and flim is just going to be confined to chapter 2 So It's not really even going to go anywhere enough to really count as "romance" The story is mainly going to focus on the car they buy and how they end up liking it or not.

[Caddy Finz]

6542490 I'm really glad that you're enjoying reading this I think I have some ideas as to what I want to rest of them to get The Rainbow Dash Chapter is next Let's see how it works out for her

[Barry From Mars]

Bit of a typo there? I think you mean Flim who dozed off? It says "Flam" and then goes off saying "Flim" all of a sudden.

[Barry From Mars]

That bus is quite the worn out thing, isn't it? Eh, considering its size it does fit Fluttershy since she can (probably) fit the bear in it. Kinda glad you mentioned a Caprice Wagon here, that's what my Dad had. (late 1980s Estate.)

And yeah, nice that Flim and Flam are being considerate about Fluttershy's purchase of the bus which sounds like this song you may know:

(song starts after a minute, first minute's of a man metal detecting for his car)

[Caddy Finz]

6542984 Thanks for pointing that out All taken care of

[Barry From Mars]

6543063

You're welcome. I thought I saw something like that in Chapter 2, like "be" instead of "me" or vice-versa.

BTW, I hit the like button for this fanfic and favorited it. Thank you.

[Caddy Finz]

6543180 I appreciate that very much See, I know very few other bronies who are into cars and I figured that writing a fic like this would be a good way to not only make people laugh but get a hold of people who are also passionate about autos On that possible typo in chapter two, I'll scan around and look for that and correct it when if and when I find it. I can't stress enough, when people see mistakes, they are doing me a favor by pointing it out Thanks a lot and I'm confident that you will enjoy what I have coming up next

p.s.- I'm digging that "rusty Chevrolet" song lol

[TheAntiCat]

Fluttershy would wind up with either a VW Hippie van or a school bus, so this works well.

Also, I like that Flim and Flam are actually going legit. I suspect they have a few more lessons to learn.

[strangephantasm]

6561870

Yeah, I figured a VW Van myself, but hey, Fluttershy can always paint it white and put flowers all over it. Turn it into the happiest (steaming pile) aminal transport evar. Although if she's serious about hauling Harry around she may have to take out a back seat and he may want to lose a few pounds. Not sure if he'll fit through the emergency exit.

[Wiz Ahmad]

I like that you included images of the cars you talk about in the story! It helps a lot!