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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Aaaaaaaaaawwwww they are finnally to getter . Guess that leave us guessing . Great chapter by the way best one yet except for one thing too short. Still great chapter.
6149167
I don't know, I think that at 1,920 words, that this was the longest chapter I've ever written. In my opinion, I think that Chapters 1 & 3 were the shortest, but that's just me.
Thanks for the comment though, it really helps me out.
6149303 your welcome
Wow that was too close the whole story could have turned out way different
6150521
This does not temp me to do a what-if where Twilight is too late in stopping Celestia and she too ends her life and they fall in love in the afterlife.....but since it's Monday, I will never do that story, like, EVER!
That went too fast. Way too fast. I'm sorry but Celestia wanted to commit suicide and they "get it on" only a couple of minutes later after Twilight showed up? You have a problem with the pacing of this story, not to mention:
1) I personally think Celestia would at least somewhat doubt Twilight and would think that the other girl was just there to stop her from committing suicide.
2) I have no personal experience in this kind of thing, but I'm pretty sure no one is in the mood for sex after someone tried to kill themselves!
Cuddling, soothing words would have been the better solution in my opinion.
6151165
Yea, you are right that is was to fast and (unrealistic, in my opinion) that Celestia, who wanted to kill herself after her heart was broken, who just finally got the girl, decides, "hurdur, let's fuck!"
To be honest, this sequence worked out better in my head, but now that you described how fast it went, I do agree with ya.
But, I think it was a good thing that I had Twilight wanting to talk to Celestia about their relationship going forward. I might even have Twilight ask Celestia why she went from depressed enough to kill herself to horny as hell.
Thanks though for the comment, I enjoy this constructive criticism.
Maxman103095
I still say this is a great story and I'm interested to see how it ends
and then the author forgot about the story FOREVER!!!!
derpicdn.net/img/2016/5/22/1160348/medium.jpg
also
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/66/2d/ae/662daed191853eaa0ef645382c28a58d.jpg
still a better love story then twilight............oh wait
Why in the actual fuck, out of everything you could have used to further their romance, have someone weaponize suicide then use it as a plot device for romance and sex? And nobody ever acknowledges that Celestia blatantly blames Twilight for not liking her back at the start, when that was not in her control. And you know what, even with the toxicity and romanticized suicide and depression put aside, you didn't even bother to put a trigger warning for talk and description of suicide. If you have ever experienced suicidal thoughts and ideation, you know that isn't how it fucking works. The time after a failed suicide attempt does not feel like this, speaking from experience here. Please just, try to improve your writing and be less insensitive towards the treatment of serious topics like suicide and depression.