With a deep sigh that spat up a small splash of the water still being filled into her open mouth, Trixie relented and looked at Minuette with honest yet angry eyes. "Ah wa' ah' ell 'eh' ah 'a'e 'eh' 'ore den a'wa' elth. Erra' 'icth ah 'et 'eh', ah 'a'e 'eh'... 'Eth..." Trixie tried not to look Minuette in the eyes, her face going a bit red... But maybe that was from the water in her mouth or the lack of air while she spoke, "...Eh-aye 'ath 'othe..."
Is anyone capable of decivering this? I've been trying for about five minutes, and I'm at a loss.
7052094 So its a way of Trixie explaining her situation to Minnute without letting us know? Most people would have just used a cutaway, this is definitely more creative.
Doesn't mean it aint gonna bother me forever, but hey, writers gotta do what a writers gotta do.
7052812 I know, right? Pretty hard to decipher. Maybe it's a stretch, but I think "Erra' 'icth" might be "Everyone thinks" and "'Eth" might be self-affirming "yes". I think "'ath" is "have". To me, "Eh-aye 'ath 'othe" looks like "May I have another," but that sounds weird in context, so I'm not positive.
7054227 some of the funnest bits in comedy are when someone if having a conversation with someone else, who just so happens to have something in their mouth mussing their words, and it seems to appear deep and meaningful.
7065481 Change the last sentence to And I love her and would that be correct?
Interesting though. It looks like Trixie, Minuette, and Twilight had some kind of history since they were kids and Trixie seemed to hate Twilight back then, too. If my translation's correct, it appears that we got the worst kind of tsundere-the kind that's not only dishonest to herself and others but she makes everyone miserable to get her 'point' across-trying to be the less annoying kind and even comes to terms with her feelings.
This man was the worst of the worst; grade "A" scum. I still remember the glowing review he gave my daddy that day. "What perfect teeth she has!"
And no one should be afraid to see someone who was clearly there to help you. I wanted to be a dentist... Like Herbie, the elf that didn't want to make toys.
Some people become dentists for different reasons.
Plus they're all just TOO ADORABLE! UGH! I can't help it! I just wanna pinch their little cheeks and UGGGGGH!
But in the span of a single operation, she dealt with all three and more at once; and from a full grown adult to make it worse.
Too bad Twilight's going to nurse her back to health alone.
"Sooooo... Little-girl-in-an-adult-body..."
Reminds me of Eric Cartman's dentist, calling him fat, a piggy, asking if he's the patient here for liposuction.
The easiest friend of Twilight's she had. "Ah j'th wn' th'lk wat 'er."
She want to do more thank talk.
I thought Spike was thirteen/fourteen in this story. This last scene implies he's more mature than that. Did I just read him wrong?
You have an intriguing setup here, and the way you're fleshing out the world and its inhabitants is great. I thought the ending of the first chapter was especially brilliant.
That being said, the degree to which you're confusing the audience is a bit much. Between the nonlinear narrative structure, the chapter titles, and now having not only just one half of a phone conversation, but also important lines of dialogue delivered with the character's mouth full, you're piling up layers of obfuscation until the whole thing becomes unwieldy. It's fine to have a story interspersed with flashbacks and from multiple points of view, but I would tone down the reverse dramatic irony (that is, where the characters know things the audience doesn't.)
So, what are Spike and Minuette gonna do?
7051973 That's up to Spike. Minuette's the hostage here.
Is anyone capable of decivering this? I've been trying for about five minutes, and I'm at a loss.
7052090 I don't want you to. But, I'll be honest... It can be decoded in some way.
7052094 So its a way of Trixie explaining her situation to Minnute without letting us know? Most people would have just used a cutaway, this is definitely more creative.
Doesn't mean it aint gonna bother me forever, but hey, writers gotta do what a writers gotta do.
7052111 Give it two more chapters; it'll get explained... Maybe...
TFW you can't escape MCR even in pony
fanfiction
7052111
This is what I got so far:
Ah wa' ah' ell 'eh' ah 'a'e 'eh' 'ore den a'wa' elth.
I want to tell her I hate her more then anyone else.
Erra' 'icth ah 'et 'eh', ah 'a'e 'eh'... 'Eth...
? ? I ? her, I hate her... ?...
('icth=witch? bitch?) ('Eth=it's?)
...Eh-aye 'ath 'othe...
...? ? ?...
('othe=other? another?)
7052812
I know, right? Pretty hard to decipher. Maybe it's a stretch, but I think "Erra' 'icth" might be "Everyone thinks" and "'Eth" might be self-affirming "yes". I think "'ath" is "have". To me, "Eh-aye 'ath 'othe" looks like "May I have another," but that sounds weird in context, so I'm not positive.
7052812 You're very warm.
7052090
"I want to tell her that I hate her more then anyone else. You're (...) her, I hate her... yes..."
"We ah (love/hate/have) each other..."
My best guess....
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more TwiXie upcoming
7054144 Close, really close. Some of the sounds I admit aren't as well picked out as others. But, you are VERY close.
7054227 some of the funnest bits in comedy are when someone if having a conversation with someone else, who just so happens to have something in their mouth mussing their words, and it seems to appear deep and meaningful.
So that last sentence. Was that a hint at what she had planned?
Also, I could see her naming it that.
7056945 Yes. It was implied last chapter on her way out before Trixie showed up.
7057178
Ah, I had forgotten that.
7054488
7054227
I want to tell her I hate her more then anyone else. Ever since I met her, I hate her... Yes...
"...We hate each other..."
7065481
7065481 Mmmm... Close...
7065481 Change the last sentence to And I love her and would that be correct?
Interesting though. It looks like Trixie, Minuette, and Twilight had some kind of history since they were kids and Trixie seemed to hate Twilight back then, too. If my translation's correct, it appears that we got the worst kind of tsundere-the kind that's not only dishonest to herself and others but she makes everyone miserable to get her 'point' across-trying to be the less annoying kind and even comes to terms with her feelings.
Welp, this is going to lead to disaster.
Some people become dentists for different reasons.
Too bad Twilight's going to nurse her back to health alone.
Reminds me of Eric Cartman's dentist, calling him fat, a piggy, asking if he's the patient here for liposuction.
She want to do more thank talk.
I thought Spike was thirteen/fourteen in this story. This last scene implies he's more mature than that. Did I just read him wrong?
You have an intriguing setup here, and the way you're fleshing out the world and its inhabitants is great. I thought the ending of the first chapter was especially brilliant.
That being said, the degree to which you're confusing the audience is a bit much. Between the nonlinear narrative structure, the chapter titles, and now having not only just one half of a phone conversation, but also important lines of dialogue delivered with the character's mouth full, you're piling up layers of obfuscation until the whole thing becomes unwieldy. It's fine to have a story interspersed with flashbacks and from multiple points of view, but I would tone down the reverse dramatic irony (that is, where the characters know things the audience doesn't.)
To see a marching band.