The Fire in Her Eyes

by P0nies

Through the hospital...

Fluttershy sat on her haunches, her mind still recovering from what had just appeared in front of her. It didn't make much sense that this could have happened, but then again no pony really knew the full effects of a Soul Feather. Most of the time, pegasus didn't bother with it because of its unknown and mostly undesirable affects. She could feel Dash's pain in her own body, but it wasn't painful in a sense. Fluttershy knew that she was hurt, and she knew exactly where in Dash's body. But what worried her sick was the fact that she had no idea where Dash could possibly be. Then again, in that hallucination, or whatever it was, it faintly looked like there was a hospital bed in the background. Fluttershy hopped to her hooves, looking out the window towards the Ponyville General Hospital. The sun was beginning to set behind it, so she could barely make any discrimination between the hills and the hospital itself.

That didn't matter to her though, Fluttershy knew that she had to do this for Rainbow Dash. Since she had made a leap of faith and put herself out there to Fluttershy, even though it was somewhat indirect, Fluttershy knew that it was her duty to help her no matter what. Fluttershy bolted out of her cottage room, the door flying open and sending Angel Bunny flying straight into the wall. She didn't even notice what she had did to Angel. All she cared about now was getting to Dash and being by her side. Flying past all of the animals in her home, she threw the front door open, nearly tearing it off of its hinges.

Various animals took off in a flurry of nervousness and fear; some thinking that the 'new' Fluttershy had come back. To their comfort, the 'new' Fluttershy hadn't come back, but something was apparently wrong. She never flew that fast, especially around any of her animals because of her fear of accidentally knocking one over and injuring them.

Fluttershy dashed through the sky, the golden blaze of the setting sun glimmering over her body and giving her a heavenly glow. The way that she was flying showed grace, yet it showed determination to get to Dash, no matter what she had to do. Flying was harder than she thought it had been in this light, the sun shone directly into her eyes, partially blinding her and highlighting the fire that burned within. There was a small black dot ahead of her, and it seemed like it was getting gradually bigger with each moment she continued to fly. She squinted her eyes, trying to distinguish what in the hay was coming at her. It got closer and closer, and before long she noticed it resembled a pony. But by the time she had decided to move out of the way, her decision was in vain.

The two ponies collided, sending both of them careening into the ground and into a large bed of flowers. Fluttershy opened her eyes, stood up and dusted herself off. At least where I crashed was pretty, she thought to herself, looking on at the flower field around her. About twenty feet away, another pony rested in another patch of flowers. That mare kept trying to stand, but kept falling over. Fluttershy noticed the color of her hair, and saw, for a brief moment, her cutie mark.

“Derpy?” Fluttershy called out.

“Oh hi Fluttershy. OH Fluttershy! You need to come with me, Rainbow Dash needs you!” Derpy said to Fluttershy, finally regaining her balance and pulling her yellow mane out of her face.

“What's wrong with Rainbow?” Fluttershy asked aggressively, charging over to where Derpy stood.

Derpy pulled back at Fluttershy's changed demeanor, “Uh... she's in the hospital... I found her when she was drowning and saved her.”

Fluttershy embraced Derpy in a tight hug, giving her a brief kiss before making haste towards the hospital. “Thank you for saving her, Derpy. It means a lot.”

Derpy stood there blushing, “It... it was no pr-problem Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy turned her head to look back at Derpy, who was still standing in the field of flowers, her mane flowing slightly in the wind. She hadn't expected to daze her that much, she just did it as a thank you. She just hoped Derpy knew it was just a thank you and nothing more.

She continued to fly, but at speeds greater than she had ever been able to achieve before. Fluttershy would arrive at the hospital in no time, but she just hoped that Rainbow Dash would be awake when she arrived.

---

By the time Fluttershy had arrived at the hospital, the sun had already fallen over the horizon. She stood outside of the front entrance, staring into the violet aura in the sky that reminded her of the times with Rainbow Dash on the hillside. A small smile snuck its way onto her lips, but she remembered why she was here, the smile fading back into nonexistence. Fluttershy took a deep breath, and opened the cold glass doors that lead into the hospital. The tile was a frigid white, the walls a light hue of blue, probably using the calming effects of the color to their advantage.

Fluttershy walked up to the counter, a white coated mare behind large glasses staring at her. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“Well, um... yes. I need to see Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy told her matter-of-factually.

“Sorry, no can do. She should just be getting out of surgery, and visiting hours are over. Come back tomorrow,” she said coldly, ruffling through various papers on the desk.

From behind the desk, Fluttershy noticed a rainbow colored mane slipping into a patient room. “Rainbow...” she mumbled.

“Sorry, wha–”

She was abruptly cut off by Fluttershy flying directly over her head, darting towards the room that she had seen the mane disappear into. Fluttershy flew around corners at record speed, the secretary at the front counter shouting at various warnings to her. But she didn't care, she just wanted to see her mare and make sure that she was safe.

She came around the corner expecting to see Rainbow Dash, but there was nothing there. Not even a pony, just an empty storage room. Fluttershy's mouth hung open, muttering inaudible phrases. It didn't make sense to her, she would’ve sworn she had seen Rainbow being rolled into the room on a gurney. Fluttershy's mind finally reached a breaking point, and she fell back onto her haunches. Sobs and tears flowed from her as she just sat in the room and cried, some nurses and interns looking onto her with questioning faces.

“Excuse me, ma'am, would you please come with me?” a brown haired colt asked her, holding his hoof out to her. He wore a hospital uniform, so Fluttershy assumed that he only intended the best.

She took his hoof and stood up, both of the ponies walking into a conference room just around the corner. The doctor held the door open for Fluttershy, and she walked in and took a seat upon one of the upholstered chairs in the room. A large table took up a large space in the center of the room, chairs lining each side of it. Her eyes were kept looking down, her face evidently showing distress.

The doctor reached out a hoof towards Fluttershy, who flinched slightly at the greeting. “Name's Mind Eye, and don't worry, I won't stick a needle in your eye.” He let out a small chuckle.

Fluttershy glanced up at the doctor, who had a warm smile on his face. She reached out a hoof, grasping his and shaking it. “My name's Fluttershy...” she said quietly.

“Ah, yes. I've heard of you. One of the Elements, nice to meet you Fluttershy. First things first, I just wanted to let you know that Rainbow Dash is doing just fine.”

“Oh, well that's fantastic! But how did you know I was here for her?” Fluttershy asked, looking up at Mind Eye.

“She's been mumbling your name all day, so you could only assume that she wants to see you. Ill take you to her –” he said before being interrupted.

“You know where she is? I really need to make sure she's doing OK!” She said, hopping out of her chair, excitement and worry flowing in her voice.

“Yes, I do know where she is. But before we do go and see her, there is one thing that I need to ask you about.” He slid a picture over to Fluttershy, who hid behind her mane. “I take it you know what this is."

Comments

[FireFlash13231]

so much win and dawww...u can has all my internets!

[P0nies]

744383 Apparently someone didn't feel as you did. Somepony decided to change their vote from a thumb up to a thumb down >.>

[Himmler GZ]

And its... a feather?

[P0nies]

744867 Uh... what exactly? lol

[Himmler GZ]

744908 The picture... I think...

[P0nies]

744931 Oh. making speculations, are you? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. You'll just have to wait and see

[Himmler GZ]

744944 I've read so many fics with Rainbow Dash, it seems like whenever there's a cliffhanger/secret object or something, its always a feather...

[P0nies]

744955 ... well, I've never read a fic that has used a feather as a secret object... so damn. now im conforming to the norms for RD fics xD

[Himmler GZ]

744988
Oh Celestia, where to start...
Waaay too many links...

[P0nies]

744994 I guess its just because I've never read that many RD fics, so i didn't know of what the norm was or else I would have tried to put my own spin on it... because I have already added the feather type thing. And now, it is time to figure out how to salvage this situation.

[P0nies]

744994 Anyways, how did you like the latest chapter?

[ChaoticHarmony]

Me gusta'd.... As per usual. Flutterbitch demands MOAR

[P0nies]

745310 xD Glad you like!

[Everhopeful]

I like this story. I think it's adorable. Even if suicide attempts are over done.

That hospital sequence though, I am more than pretty sure that they don't just go around sedating people willy-nilly. I'm also certain sedation is a complex and involved process that takes a lot of thought and calculation if done chemically. You could have done it magically and saved the hassle. That's ignoring the fact that they don't do that sedation thing anywhere but mental hospitals. That's more than a criminal offence. They certainly don't go around strapping people or ponies to tables. Without some sort of medical reason. That's also likely to result in criminal charges. You could have handled that better.

Then there's a few odd syntax mistakes, like you've written coma instead of can, and damage instead of danger. Also embezzled instead of emblazoned. That last one made me laugh.

Everything preceding that last sequence is fine, I can pass the mistakes, errors and questionable content by just fine. There's a lot wrong with that last segment. I'd seriously consider going back and re-writing that. There are more peaceful and logical ways to get Fluttershy and Mind Eye into that room, without sedation and ponies getting strapped to tables.

I write without intent to wound you, but because I believe you are a better writer than this. The last few paragraphs of this chapter feel lazy. There's an easy solution. What remains to be seen is whether you will opt to enact it.

[P0nies]

745920 Its people like you that I really appreciate here, giving thoughtful advice towards a story. Many thanks to you.

And now I plan to re-write that last sequence.

[Bashfluff]

I like the feather idea. Every author adds their own flavor to it, and I hope you do too. It should be fun seeing what you come up with, given that you haven't read other fics that use it.

[Starfall]

Yes, that's a drastically more awesome finish to the chapter now.

[FireFlash13231]

744675 im gonna go on a manhunt to find everypony who disliked this

[FireFlash13231]

666325wat

[Himmler GZ]

745121 It was great. I don't know if its just me, but the Chapters are getting shorter.. and the amount of free time I have in the day to look at your chapters is getting longer...
Longer chapters plz?

[P0nies]

746907 My situation is somewhat the opposite of yours, but I will do my best at longer chapters

[Himmler GZ]

746933 Yeah, your style of writing isn't just physically getting shorter, but its starting to sound a little hurried...
Your ideas are still there, just they aren't really being put out as well.
Still a great story though.

[P0nies]

746944 sorry about that, and I just lost a good portion of the next chapter I was writing

[Himmler GZ]

747003 Oh, well that sucks...

[P0nies]

747006 Yes, yes it does. But do expect an update today

[Himmler GZ]

747015

[There At The Close]

Fluttershy: umm... it's a dog?
Mind's Eye: correct. have you seen him? he's lost...
Fluttershy: um.. no?
Mind's Eye: *flips the table* DAMMIT!
I am throughly enjoying this...
~Wywint