Magic
Alan was as surprised as Celestia was. “Magic? What do you mean magic? I’ve never done anything magical in my life!”
Twilight stepped forward with a very confused look on her face. “But Princess, are you sure? It can’t be magic… Can it?” Princess Celestia was staring at the ground deep in thought and it seemed she didn’t hear her. Behind the Princess the other ponies were talking amongst themselves, they were trying to come to terms with had just been told. Eventually Celestia looked up. Her expression was one of excitement. “I may have a few ideas as to why you have magic, but they cannot be discussed here. Follow me and we will go to my private chambers.” Saying this Celestia turned and started trotting down the hall.
Alan was unsure what to do. He started to follow but it felt awkward walking with his arms chained behind his back still. “Um… Princess… A little help here?” Alan said feeling embarrassed. Princess Celestia looked back and realized what the problem was. Giggling a bit she used her magic to take the chains off. “Sorry about that. I guess I forgot to take them off in the excitement.” Alan was less than amused though. His wrists still hurt from being held behind his back for several hours. Looking at them they were red and chaffed.
Princess Celestia could tell Alan was upset and she bent close to him. “I am sorry about how we treated you. I had to be cautious about this situation. I had to do what was best to protect my ponies from another tragedy like what happened a long time ago. Can you forgive me for how you were treated?” Alan looked into Celestia’s eyes and saw that she was sincere in her apology. “I have been taught since I was young to forgive those who have hurt you. How I was treated was horrible but I will forgive you. You were doing what was best for your ponies,” Alan said. Alan was speaking the truth. He always had a forgive and forget mindset. Princess Celestia nodded and stood tall. Immediately she turned and headed down the hall motioning for them to follow her.
As they were walking down the hall the ponies surrounded Alan. All Alan could think was that many bronies would kill to be surrounded by the mane six. Looking at all the ponies Alan could see all of them studying him. The first pony to actually talk to him was Pinkie.
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie and you’re new here so that means I get to throw you a party! It will have to be bigger than all my other parties ‘cause it’s a ‘Welcome to Equestria and Ponyville’ party! I’m going to invite all the ponies in Ponyville! No wait! All of Equestria! This is going to be the most awesome party ever don’t you think?!?!” Alan was a little surprised by the how excited she was but then again it was Pinkie. “Um… Sure?” Alan didn’t know if it was possible for there to be a party that all of Equestria went to, but he wouldn’t doubt Pinkie trying to do that. Hearing his response Pinkie started bouncing higher with excitement.
Rarity was the next to introduce herself. “Well hello there darling. I am Rarity, designer of fine clothing. I must ask you though. Who designed your outfit? It is very… unique.” Alan looked down at his clothes. He never put any thought into what he wore. And he defiantly didn’t wear designer clothing. “I uh… Just wore whatever I felt like.” Rarity gasped and started shaking her head. “No, that will not do. When we get back to Ponyville I will design you some new clothing! Though, I have never designed human clothing before. I could be the first human designer in all of Equestria! Oh! Idea!” Pulling a sketch book out of seemingly nowhere, she began to sketch out designs. Alan thought that having designer made clothes would be pointless for him but wasn’t about to tell her no. Besides having an outfit designed by Rarity would be cool.
Reaching the end of the hall, they came to a winding staircase that led up to bright sunlight. Reaching the top Alan saw the beauty of the inside of Canterlot. He had never seen anything like this. The only thing he had seen that was similar was the parliament buildings. The hall was bright with windows overlooking the land. Alan couldn’t see outside very well because his glasses had been knocked off back in Ponyville. What he could see however was the wonderfully blue sky and the green of the garden. He made a mental note to find his glasses and come back to see this sight again.
Continuing down the elegant hall, Alan noticed that Rainbow Dash seemed to be avoiding coming near him. She was flying on the other side of the group of ponies furthest away from him. Whenever he tried to make eye contact with her she would look away. Before Alan could talk to her though, they had reached giant double doors that went all the way to the ceiling.
Using her magic, Princess Celestia opened the doors and ushered them inside. Inside was a room the size of a house. High walls towered over them and giant pillars held up the ceiling high above them. Off to the side was a large four poster bed along with various personal things and to the other side were two large doors. The only ones not captivated by the scene were Twilight and Princess Celestia. Going to the center of the room, Princess Celestia beckoned them closer. Gathering in front of Celestia, the ponies and Alan waited to hear what she had to say.
“Before I tell you about why I think your soul contains magic, I will explain some things to you about our kind and the magic we possess. Everything in Equestria contains some kind of magic. Pegasus ponies need it to fly, Earth ponies need it to stay in touch with the earth, plants to grow and so on. Magic runs this world. It raises the sun in the morning and the moon at night. Do you understand Human?”
“Yeah it makes sense. In my world though the sun and moon rise on their own and we aren’t connected to the earth by magic,” Alan said. He knew about the magic of Equestria before so it didn’t really surprise him. But when the ponies heard him say that things happened on their own they all gasped like it was something bad.
“Yeah right! Next thing you’ll be saying is that the weather controls itself,” Rainbow Dash said mockingly. “Or that the animals take care of themselves,” Fluttershy added in a small voice.
Alan looked at them all confused. “Yeah of course they do… What is it weird that humans can’t control things the way you can?”
They all nodded looking somewhat surprised. “I think we should talk about this later. I want to find out why I have magic,” Alan said excitedly turning towards Celestia.
“Very well then. I think that humans have magic much like ponies have magic here. But in your world, it is sealed away in your soul. At one time humans could probably use magic but it got locked away. Humans could have once had a connection with the earth but lost it long ago. I believe that your world is as magical as ours but you just don’t know it,” Celestia said facing Alan.
“Well I guess that would make sense, but why would we lose our magical connection? And is it possible to release the magic in my soul? Do you think you could do that Princess?” At this point Alan had started to inch forward until he was right in front of Celestia’s face with a huge smile on his face.
Celestia took a step back at looked at Alan’s excited face. “I could try, but there is no guarantee it will work. Do you still want to try?” Alan just nodded very fast. “Very well then. Everypony step back. I don’t know what could happen so be careful.”
Celestia took a few breaths to calm herself and pointed her horn at Alan. Concentrating she sent out a bolt of light that surrounded Alan with a golden glow. Slowly the light got brighter and Alan was slowly lifted into the air. Soon the light was so intense that all the ponies had to look away. The only pony who still watched was Pinkie who had on a pair of sunglasses.
Suddenly the light went away and Alan fell to his feet. The ponies started to come closer to get a better look but stopped when Alan looked at them. His eyes were wide open and glowing white. Blinking a few times the glowing went away.
“D-did it work?” Twilight asked Alan.
“I don’t know… I don’t feel different. I don’t think it worked,” Alan said looking at the ground disappointed.
“Well let’s see…” Celestia looked around before trotting over to her night side table and picking up a glass. “Let’s see if you can do basic levitation!” Trotting back she put this glass on the ground and stepped back. “Now concentrate on the glass and focus your energy. Bring up power from within you.”
Looking at the glass, Alan did what he was told. He concentrated on the glass and could feel something rising in him. Nothing happened.
“You have to believe you can do it! Negativity causes failure,” Twilight said encouragingly.
Alan nodded and tried again. Closing his eyes he focused. He could feel power rising inside him and he tried to focus it on the glass. Opening his eyes he kept trying.
Without warning Alan’s eyes began to glow dark blue and so did the glass. At the same time all the ponies’ jaws dropped as they looked on. Alan continued to concentrate and slowly the glass began to slowly rise up. Alan started getting excited about being able to possess magic. Wondering what he could do, Alan started to put more energy into it. The glass then shot upwards like a rocket and smashed into the ceiling, showering them with shards of glass.
“Heh heh… Oops?” Alan laughed nervously.
“That went better than I hoped. But we need to get you to study and focus your magic. I am going to leave the responsibility of that to Twilight Sparkle!” Celestia said exclaimed turning to face Twilight and the other ponies.
“Whaa…?!?! But Princess, how am I supposed to do that? I’ve never taught somepony how to use magic from scratch. I don’t even think I’ve read a book on how to do it!” Twilight stammered, unsure about what to do.
“Now Twilight, consider this a chance to study a live human. We could learn valuable information about how humans act in their own world. Are you up to the task?” Celestia said walking up to Twilight and the others. “I am sending him and all of you back to Ponyville. There I want you and the other Elements of Harmony to keep an eye on him. I will go with you to assure the citizens that there is nothing to fear about the human and to accept him with open arms.”
“Yes Princess, we will do our best to watch over him and help him adjust to life here in Equestria,” Twilight said bowing low.
“Good. Now the carriage won’t be leaving for a few more hours so you all have the chance to rest up a bit before we leave. But I suggest you talk to the human and answer any questions he has. Introduce yourselves and get acquainted,” Princess Celestia said while walking out of the room. “I need to go deal with some royal business so I will find you when the time comes to leave.”
The ponies bowed as Princess Celestia left the room and Alan quickly did the same. When the door closed behind Celestia, Alan turned to look at the ponies. “Hi, I’m Alan. I…” Alan was interrupted by his stomach growling. The last time he ate was in the morning when he was still in the Everfree forest.
“Well,” said Twilight taking a few steps towards the door. “I think the first thing we do is get some food. We can do introductions while eating. But before we go… I think these are yours.” Twilight used her magic to give Alan his glasses back.
“MY GLASSES! Oh thank you I would have been blind if you didn’t find them! Thank you thank you thank you!” Alan then rushed over to Twilight and gave her a tight hug.
Twilight squeaked and stood still. When Alan let go she turned around blushing.
“Now that we’re done with that… Follow me to the kitchens.”
Knowing that the best thing to do was to just to do what she said Alan followed. Besides he was quite hungry. Going out the door Alan followed Twilight along till they got to the royal kitchens.
The kitchens were empty except for a single pony on the other side. Seeing Alan, the pony bolted out of the room.
“Well it’s nice to see everypony is still afraid of me,” Alan said annoyed.
“Well they just don’t know you yet. I’m sure that once the princess tells everypony that you won’t hurt them, they won’t do that,” Twilight put in.
“Well if the ponies are even a little bit as arrogant as some humans, then not everypony will accept me,” Alan said.
“Oh ah’m sure they’ll accept ya sugarcube! It’s not like you’re gonna eat them… Ya don’t eat ponies right?” Applejack said trying to help.
“No I don’t eat ponies,” Alan said turning to look around the kitchen. He walked around looking in various cupboards.
Twilight pulled open a large refrigerator and pulled out food and placed it on the table. “Now I got a daisy sandwich, hay fries and apples. Dig in!”
Alan looked at the food Twilight pulled out and frowned a bit. Picking up an apple he took a bite. It was sweeter than any apple he had eaten before. Alan quickly made the pile of apples disappear.
“Whats wrong… Don’t like daisy sandwiches or hay fries?” Twilight asked Alan. Fluttershy came up and whispered something in Twilights ear. Looking embarrassed Twilight spoke again. “Ok so as Fluttershy pointed out you may not eat the same food as us.”
Alan raised his eyebrows. “Ya think.”
“What do humans eat…? Well besides apples,” Rarity added.
“Food,” Alan said with a blank look on his face.
“Ok that’s a start. What kind of food?” Rarity asked.
“The edible kind. Well I eat fruit and veggies like you… But not hay, flowers or grass... But I found some pasta over here so I’m going to make some. Do you want me to make some for all of you as well?” Alan asked.
The ponies slowly nodded their heads. They were unsure about having a human cook them food. They didn’t know what he would make them or if it was even edible for them.
“Don’t worry. Before I moved my mom taught me a good vegetarian spaghetti. I think you’ll like it!” Alan said happily.
“Oh so that means humans are herbivores like us right?” Twilight asked.
Alan stopped and turned around. “Well no… We’re omnivores...”
Rainbow Dash was confused. “Omniwhat?”
Twilight turned to her. “It means he eats both plants and meat.”
Alan started to make the spaghetti again. “Normally I eat chicken, pork or beef. But don’t worry! I’ve never actually killed my food so I’ll probably end up being a full vegetarian here.”
The ponies started to watch as Alan prepared the sauce. They watched with amazement as he chopped the vegetables and up them in the sauce. Pegasai and Earth ponies always had a tough time cutting things and Unicorns couldn’t really do it either without magic, so watching him chop vegetables without it amazed them.
Soon they were all eating a big bowl of spaghetti. “This is good! Is your cutie-mark cooking related?” Twilight asked with interest.
“Actually humans don’t get cutie-marks,” Alan said.
“Then how do you know what your good at?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“We just know I guess.”
“Oh and another question,” Twilight said looking up at Alan. “How did you know Fluttershy’s name before she told you?”
Alan’s eyes went wide. “Shit.”
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Well a lot happened this last week and I couldn't work on the chapter as much as I wanted. I'm sorry about taking so long to get this one out. But thankfully, the semester is over of me except for a few exams so I can work on it more. And about how Alan is forgiving about being treated that way: Alan is me. I am forgiving. I forgive everyone even if they've hurt me. This goes past the whole love and tolerance thing the show teaches. That is just the way I am. I made Alan react the way I think I would. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go play some battlefield 3 and then go get some timmies. see ya next time
Personally, I think Celestia and the other ponies were a bit too friendly a bit too fast. Except for Pinkie Pie. Because Pinkie Pie.
Also, being able to instantly master what would count as minor magic is dangerous, from a characterisation persepctive. Be careful Alan doesn't enter Mary Sue territory.
And a bit more on the ponies' reactions to some of the stuff he says would be nice too.
Oh COME ON!
"Forgive and forget"? Just like that? It's a bullshit and we both know it. Even the most peaceful and nice human would've been angry at them, because, you know, he doesn't attacked anypony, he do not provoke, he was kind, soft-spoken and he got violence, distrust and imprisonment because of that. And you saying he just 'forgave' them for kicking him, constantly belittling him and acting like he's monster and mindless thing ("it"? I'll be pissed if I've been callet "it"!) thought he never gave them reason to do so?
I' really disappointed. Dialogues would've been so much better with Alan holding grudge.
===
Princess Celestia could tell Alan was upset and she bent close to him. “I am sorry about how we treated you. I had to be cautious about this situation. I had to do what was best to protect my ponies from another tragedy like what happened a long time ago. Can you forgive me for how you were treated?” Alan looked into Celestia’s eyes and saw that she was sincere in her apology. It didn't make his anger cool down even a little. “So, your guards kicked me, I was thrown in a dungeon, you didn't even talk to me before labeling me as a mindless monster, thought I never gave you any reason to think I'm one..." Alan paused, remembering that he still was in a dungeon and making his captor angry wasn't very wise. "I think you may let me go and at least give me someplace to live and, you know, a few bits for my medical bills, food and living before I'll find a way to make money by myself."
====
55232
Oh yeah, I meant to complaint about that too. Though I think you're going a little overboard there...
....
Shall I get the Tardis and Fix that little blunder back a few chapters ago?
ALLONS-Y!
55234
I'm always a little overboard. Authors will listen to only half what i'm saying in any case. So, half of my message will be delivered and that's what I'm looking for.
55231
Pinkie pie is her own reason.
55243
Human cupcakes? Don't mind if I do!
55239
Well, your criticism seems honest and more or less relevant. My fics could use such readers... (Shameless self-advertisement)
ANYWAY
Also, watch the swearing around the ponies. If I see Rainbow Dash dropping the F-bomb, consider me GONE!
They have a point there about the speed of acceptance of both parties. Of course Alan being a brony he would be far more likely to be able to pass the whole thing off as an accident or some crap like that. The ponies have still accepted him a little fast though. Apart from that a good story. I laughed at the last line I always like reading the different explanations for knowing to ponies
55246
Okay, I'll read it)
About forgiveness (to author) It's nice if you are that type of human. But quick forgiveness and no consequences for ponies' actions is bad for fanfic. It makes story boring and chapters do not add together- they overly-hostile and suspicious, then they just as suddenly friendly and nice? Sorry, I call bullshit.
Hardships, mustrust, arguing, struggling - that's what makes that type of fics interesting. We've got tons of human-in-equestria-befriending-everypony. Your fic started differently and it was a breath of fresh air, please keep it up and don't go to cliche "and then they all forgave each other, Rarity made dressed, Pinkie threw a party, FS were nice, Twilight studied human and teached him, RD was annoying and talked, everypony accepted him and they were friends".
“How did you know Fluttershy’s name before she told you?”
“Shit.”
ROFL'd
wonder how'd they react to swear words though... dont really have them in Equestria, its a rated G universe.
For a while I thought Alan's luck was changing for the better and then it comes around and bites him again now that he has to try and find a way to explain that everypony he's talking to is a cartoon character in his world. Granted rather famous cartoon characters but this can not end well for Alan.
Now I'm a fan of the "Forgive and Forget" mindset and tend to stick to it as much as I can but if I had happen to me all that had happened to Alan I would probably be a little upset.
LET THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP BE TOLED
Ppl need to chill about the 'forgive and forget' thing. I'm the same exact way, I've been treated badly and as long as there is an apology I let it go. Besides, you can't be mad around magic candy colored ponies for too long without feeling like a jackass
55390
So I can kick you in the face, throw in my basement for hours, call you "it" and threat like monster, then apologize and it'll be okay for you?
now is a hell of an explaination hope he doesn't break the 4th wall
Is Alex Jesus? otherwise I cant see this happening... and I am a pacific person myself...mostly
Nice chapter I can't wait to read more and find out how Alan is going to explain the "them being cartoon character in on earth"
Now about "Forgive and Forget" mindset, Truly I would be pissed off with the them I would probably use curse words at them, even if they don't know those are bad words they can tell by the voice and look on your face that you are pissed off. I also would be pissed off at Rainbow Dash for the whole hoof in crotch incident (but they have not talked about that yet so Alan might yell at Rainbow Dash but more than likely he will forgive her).
With that being said it is your story Deep Six. I hope you continue writing it and do what you think is best even if some people don't agree with some of your choices.
shit just happened, rolled down the hill, and into the fan fillies and gentelcolts.
Story has potential, but a couple of things:
1. Work in using the active voice (there's guides on that)
2. Every time a character speakers, start a new paragraph. (Everyone fic writer should know this)
55392 I'm a security officer. I've been called names, spat at and hit quite a bit and I've learned to live with it.
i like it i want more
55609
Well, protagonist here not a security officer. And I'm pretty sure while you learned to deal with it, you didn't love very much those who spat or hit you, and at best would be just polite with them. Certainly not befriend them and like them. Right?
55629 your point is duely noted, but in my eyes the only one truly in the wrong was the guard and I'm fairly sure he won't want to make friends with that guard any time soon
55632
Yeah, I know I went kinda overboard, and most serious offences is kick from guard and kick to the CROTCH by RD. Still, quick forgiveness and no consequences for ponies' actions is bad for fanfic. It makes story boring and chapters do not add together- they overly-hostile and suspicious, then they just as suddenly friendly and nice? Bullshit.
Hardships, mustrust, arguing, struggling - that's what makes that type of fics interesting. There's tons of human-in-equestria-befriending-everypony. That fic started differently and it's a breath of fresh air, and I don't want it to go cliche "and then they all forgave each other, Rarity made dressed, Pinkie threw a party, FS were nice, Twilight studied human and teached him, RD was annoying and talked, everypony accepted him and they were friends".
You are correct. It does create a boring fic
55635 Hardships, mustrust, arguing, struggling. I never said that those things won't happen in the story. It just won't happen now. I will keep the other stuff you said earlier in mind when I write the next chapter later today.
55642 It's good to know there's someone like me out there. I may not have a security guard, but I'm used to people having some kind of problem with me and confronting me. Usually with them yelling and sometimes violence. But I always forgive them and they usually end up being good friends afterwards. And you're right... The only one's wrong were the guard who hit him and RD when she hit him in the nuts. I actually based the hoof to crotch thing on when I was hit in the crotch with a lacrosse ball in middle school. The guy who threw it didn't like me and that was how he confronted me. I ended up forgiving him and we became friends. Besides, RD obviously feels bad about the whole thing.
I will try to get the chapter up tonight, but I do have things I have to do.
Oh ho, twilight got clever there (isn't she always?). Wonder how that'll turn out.
MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
55823 gotta love the nostalgia critic
Excellent
55788
Okay. I do hope your human will stop being such a wimp. Forgive, agree, forget, don't argue, be nice... BOORING.
Sorry, but even if this is a self-insert and you could easily forgive them at that point after being mistreated to that degree, no-one would be 100% happy about it, they would be ticked off. And anyway, this is a story. Fiction created to entertain. Put some conflict in there, shake things up a bit! Readers don't come to read about someone who is cruising through life without any negative reactions whatsoever. Frankly, it can be boring. Bear in mind, it's not the 'bad' events that the audience is after; it's following the characters as they overcome these events. Give the reader a reason to support the character, make him relatable. That's why I was displeased with the beginning of this chapter. He gave in way to easily, we (the readers) didn't have anything to support him in, and anyway, none of us would have given in like. If he'd stood up for himself a bit, maybe we could have related to him better.
On the plus side, I like where the plot's going in this, and I laughed myself silly at the ending XD
Good luck with the future chapters.
Actually, I think most of these points have already been made earlier on in the comments... My bad.
55253 best line by far
"How did you know Fluttershy's name before she told you?"
"Shit"
this line is dominate race
57341
Nah, thank you for posting that. Now author can see I'm not the only one who thinks things can be a little more interesting with conflict.
i like this story, it has something to it!!
google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1366&bih=598&tbm=isch&tbnid=AcsJ36ezSTPnlM:&imgrefurl=http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/21892.html&docid=zR1XMryPNwoQqM&imgurl=http://twilight.ponychan.net/chan/fic/src/130856985253.png&w=409&h=334&ei=N57iTpPaJIKXiQLq6-CnBg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=974&vpy=298&dur=596&hovh=203&hovw=248&tx=113&ty=196&sig=100570830170411521302&page=1&tbnh=129&tbnw=158&start=0&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:26,s:0
This is a good story so far. Characters speak and act properly, story doesn't skip time or location without an explanation, has a sense that this could actually happen. Can't wait to see where the story goes from here.
Why no update, good sir?
This is getting more interesting, so why hasn't this story been updated in such a long time?
You still working on this... promising. All your other chapters were closer together, did you abandon this
When are you planning on updating the story? If your busy, you should at least post a small notice or something.
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110710232635/mlp/images/5/5f/Not_impressed.png
i am pretty sure "shit" is now all author's favorite way to end chapters! keep it up good sir
the last part made me
... Am I really the only person here who's as forgiving as Alan? Really? Wow, I'm a pushover..
~Parajack
After everything they did to him, Celestia "I'm sowwy" gets them off the hook?
BULL - FUCKING - SHIT!!!
The story's all right, it's just a bit... average. Just very typical and unremarkable among all the other stories flooding the site.