The Forgotten Princess

by Okami1197

Chapter 7

"But ma'am or you really going to believe what that delinquent says? He is a menis." Crimson complained.

"Silence you idiot before you make things worse for yourself. That is my son your talking about after all. As for why I am believing him. I have talked to the therapist that you have been sending your daughter to for her depression, and you know what I was told." Storm spoke calmly.

"Wh….what were you told?"

"I was told what the cause of her depression was. It was being forced to stay away from Dinok. Dinok was her means of relief from the stress of everything for her. He would always listen to her when no one else would. He always made time for her if she needed to talk to him. I don't know about you but isn't that what your job is supposed to be?"

"I am never home ma'am."

"Before that was the case, but now I have you living at home so that you can do that and you are not."

"I try but she won't let me."

"That is not what Cloudy said. I asked her about you. She said that for a while you scolded her for even being friends with my son. Then when you stopped that you barely talked to her at all. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"That she is lying."

"No you are lying Crimson. I put a lie detecting spell on you when we started this conversation, I wouldn't need it anyway because I was also told by some of the towns ponies that you threatened top hurt them if they helped your daughter when you kicked her out, because she could not bare to see Dinok looked at in anger anymore." Storm powered down her spell and placed her cup of water down next to her throne, "You are charged with the endangerment of your fellow ponies, and any foal care laws that you broke. You are discharged from the guard and will be taken to Canterlot for a trial. I would stay quiet if I was you. Everything you say will be used against you in court. Guards take him away."

The two guards by the door walked over and grabbed Crimson, "You are a disgrace to all in this uniform." one of the guards said coldly.

As the guards were leaving the throne room Dinok and Cloudy came in, "Thank you for doing this mother." Dinok said with a happy tone.

"No it is I who should be thanking you my son. I do not want any guards in my army who do not care for those that they are supposed to love like they should. Ponies like that are a weakness." Storm shifted her gaze to Cloudy, "How are you holding up dear?"

"I've been better, but I am happy know that I can be with him again." Cloudy nuzzled Dinok's neck when she finished.

"That is good to hear." she shifted her attention back to Dinok, "Now Dinok why have I been getting reports from my guards about you wanting them to teach you to fight?"

Dinok straightened up his body and stood tall, "Because I want to be on the battlefield with you if the situation with the dragons becomes war." he said with a straight face.

"The fact that you can say that with a straight face worries me Dinok, but I will not allow you to fight the dragons. You have a mare that needs you now. Stay with her and make her happy."

Cloudy blushed slightly at Storms words, "But mother I want to fight to protect her. So that we can have a future together."

"Noble reasons to fight, but tell me what will happen to her if you fall in combat. Who would watch over her, and keep her happy?" Storm asked.

"I don't know." Dinok dropped his head slightly.

Suddenly screaming started on the outside of the throne room, and the sound of guards running with full equipment could also be heard, "What is happening out there?" Storm asked right before the doors to the throne room burst open.

"The dragons are attacking Princess. We need your help. They are killing everyone foals included." a guard said tiredly.

"Get a message to the rest of the Alicorns. We may need them." Storm stood up and her horn light causing a set of electric blue plate armor to appear on her body, "Dinok I want you to get Cloudy out of here and don't look back."

"Yes mother." the three ran out the throne room. Dinok took Cloudy one direction while Storm went in the opposite direction towards the battle.

Letting out a battle cry she filled the sky with storm clouds signifying her troupes that she has joined the battle. She charged her horn ready to call down lightning on any who threaten her ponies. Jumping out the window she saw her first target and fired. The dragon screamed in agony as it fell from the sky. Storm picked up the spear of one of her fallen soldiers, briefly thanking him for his serves. She ran towards the nearest dragon who was currently engaged with a dozen guards, who were only managing to keep it busy. Storm jumped in the air and charged the spear with electricity and stabbed it into the dragons skull killing it instantly, "Go find the unicorns. No team is to be without at least one, and remember that dragons hate lightning."

"Yes ma'am" the guards ran off towards the groups of unicorns to tell them their orders.

Storm turned just in time to see one thing that sent shivers down her spine. In the sky was a large black dragon. There was only one time that she has ever saw a black dragon and he was dead, "Where did they find this monstrosity?" Storm started to fly up towards the black dragon until a familiar sounding scream came from near the castle. A dragon had Dinok and Cloudy cornered, and there was flames flowing throw the sides of its mouth. Storm changed directions and started on a collision course with the dragon. Right before she reach the dragon it showered Dinok and Cloudy in flames. Storm screamed so loud that all fighting stopped. From above she could hear laughing, "You thought you could defend those you love by sending them away. Just like your father."

"You monster." Storm whispered.

"What was that I couldn't hear you." the dragon mocked.

"YOU MONSTER!!!!" she yelled this time nocking over a few trees.

Before she could get into the air to fight him three alicorns flew in from Ponyville, "Well it is time for me to be leaving. Have fun burying the two kids." the dragon laughed as he flew away followed by those that were under his command.

Storm rushed over to were Dinok and Cloudy were. What she saw made her heart sink. Dinok's slightly charred body sat over Cloudy's protectively. To Storm's surprise Cloudy shifted and started to cough, but there was no sign of Dinok moving. Not caring if it would work or not Storm started to poor her magic into Dinok's body. All of her effort was going to getting him to survive. While she was distracted Celestia, Luna, and Void all landed in a half circle around her, "Sister he is gone. No pony can survive a direct blast from dragon fire." Celestia said earning her a glare from Storm whose horn's glow only intensified as she tried harder.

"Celestia is right. Even though thestrals are stronger than solar ponies they still cannot survive something like this. Let him go." Luna said.

Void did not speak. He just walked over to Storm's side and punched her in the jaw as hard as he could sending her flying into the castle wall, "He is gone and you can't change it."

"D…Di…Dinok." Cloudy weakly said. When she opened her eyes she realized that the dragon's fire sis not kill her, but when she looked up she started to cry, "Dinok! No, wake up! You can't be gone!" she hugged his stiff charred body letting her tears land on him.

None noticed that as the tears touch his body they glowed briefly and was immediately absorbed by his body. After a while Luna moved over to Cloudy and pulled her off of Dinok's body, "Come dear Cloudy. Lets get you cleaned up."

Cloudy began to scream, "No I don't want to go! I want to stay with him!"

At that precise moment everything went white.

Author's Note:

What the hell author?
What are you talking about?
You killed my son that's what.
That was just the dragons signing their own death warrant.

Comments

[Titan Commander Sebaste]

Oh boy, that dragon is gonna get it!

[Dragon of Shadows]

"But ma'am or you really

are

"I've been better, but I am happy know that I can be with him again." Cloudy nuzzled Dinok's neck when she finished.

should go happy to know

his serves

service

[treegrowth]

Okay, I've seen enough. WARNING: SPOILERS IN THIS QUICK REVIEW
This is a good story and very good, if not great, concepts. This alone will get this story on my "good shelf" list.
However, I feel that I have to down vote it. Mainly for you're lacking ability to keep a constant story.
I can see that your trying to separate this into arcs one for the return of the Princess of War and the Prince of Void (Though you didn't show us who she used as sacrifices), one for her adopted son's life, and one for the war between Equestria and the Dragons. But you are moving everything Far too quickly, so quickly that you skip several key features: such as the fact that Storm and Celestia apparently hated each other? They only had one fight and afterwards Celestia said that it would start a golden age, now that would be okay (or great depending on how clever you are with the morals of both sisters) but we only saw the beginning (which only showed how unnecessary the fight was) and the end result so we didn't have any change of heart from Celestia, which most likely happened during the fight.
Then suddenly, We switch to Storm's past that we never see and the bond with her son, with you did well but was short.
Then suddenly, we change perspective immediately to the son's point of view, when his mother was still being treated by Fluttershy.
Then suddenly, HE'S DEAD! When we barely got to understand him!

The main point that I'm trying to imply is that you have fallen to the same issue that several authors have fallen to, you're making your story too short for what you actually need it to be. This is an issue because we readers want to see the plight of your characters, I myself really want to see several sessions of Storm and Fluttershy talking about Storm's bloodlust, with her son occasionally complaining about the "weird looks everypony gives him," I want to see Celestia and Storm work hard to get past their differences with Luna's help, Etc.
These things are enough for a single story by itself, and this is good enough, those other arcs can also be easily done the same way: as separate stories that are a continuation of this one, as we call sequels. With the war being the end and the beginning of a new age, the new age of course being "A New Era".

I love this concept that you have written, and it is VERY clear that you put all of you soul into making it, I can feel it. I just hate it when a good or great concept is at risk of being destroyed because of all the events are being shoved down my throat, go deeper with each scene and make them count because they are important and should be treated with loving care, writing is an art, and the details matter.

I hope that this quick review would help you with your future stories, you do have the passion and I would love to see that passion harnessed to it's full potential.