Applejack and Rainbow Dash's relationship becomes more serious than expected far faster than they thought. The changes affect their lives in surprising ways, but that's just life and love.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm starting to not like Applejack. She meets Twilight and her new marefriend and asks to speak to Twilight privately just to tell her she is going to lose her marefriend. Then she goes on to tell Twilight to NOT be herself in order to keep her. I'm beginning to wonder if Twilight was as bad as Applejack said she was when they dated. Especially when earlier Applejack complained that Twilight took notes when they were together and Twilight began to object but was cut off by Applejack.
As for Pinkie's problem, she should talk to Twilight as she went through something similar with Rarity and Fluttershy and ask what she should do.
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Good ideas and thought, I'll see if I can resolve the conflicts peacefully or maybe have them become a point of strife in the future before they resolve their personal issues.
When I wrote it I was thinking more like Applejack had been so annoyed by Twilight that she cared for her, but didn't want to hear any excuses about why she (Twilight) acted the way she did. I guess it could be said that Applejack didn't handle it well either and could have talked it out... Now they're both in a defensive place and they're both very prideful... Yeah. I can totally see this being a great topic in a future chapter/sequel book.
I'll give you a shout out when I get there.
And as for Pinkie. You should know from that episode. You NEVER break a Pinkie Promise. It's the surest way to lose a friend. Forever.
Here's a mustache while you wait! (Let it grow on you.)
5968376
A-ha!
I KNEW I missed something but couldn't find it.
Thanks friend!
:)
Well, I did it.
I finally caught up to the most recent chapter.
I can now give this story a fair, unbiased review, with the assistance of hindsight.
Good points: it DID, in fairness, improve as it went on. The clop was good too.
Bad points: Dialogue is still as clunky and awkward as a 1970's Lada. Characters still have unprompted mood swings that would put a 9-months-pregnant-with-triplets woman to shame. Events happen out of the blue. Punctuation is nonexistent. Grammatical and spelling errors are littered throughout.
All in all, it's... Readable. I give it 1 out of 5 blur songs
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NsaJ7KsH90Y
5969763
One star is a great start for my first real story!
I can only get better from here!
Whoop whoop.
:)
Thanks!
And I know it's clunky and all, I'm a novice writer and write with three kids and a 60 hour a week job on my mind.
:p
Soon. SOON I'll get more time and have a better mind set to focus on plot and characters.
:)
I really do appreciate feedback and criticism, so keep reading.
The next book will be much better.
:)
I pinkie promise.
Cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye.
If any one else has a view or opinion please, let me know so I can be a better writer.
I'm not going to even try to impress everone, but I'll do my best to make a better story, especially since I think toys can actually become a great personal success.
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Thanks!
Yeee caught up. Thanks for the fun ride so far.
5974765
Thanks, I've got a couple more chapters before I start the next story sequel. It'll be more exciting then sexual, but still good. :)
Omgizsocyute
Last chapter next... wowwww
I read this in the same time as another book I got this holiday.
About 2 days.
Twilight and Pinkie
Well, guess I was wrong about that one.
Hypocritical much, lil miss 'y'all don't gatta change yerself fer me'? Twilight's Twilight, asking her not to plan and organize is like asking Applejack to diss apples or Fluttershy to abuse her animals. Going against a huge part of what makes her her, and if she has to change such a hugely critical part of herself for the sake of the relationship then I can't see how the relationship could be a healthy one.
Hey, so who is the mare behind AppleJack that said "These two fillyfoolers get to see the Princesses? What the hay?!", and why doesn’t she and the other ponies in Rainbow Dash and AppleJack’s carriage know who they are, how and why they can go and see the Princesses, and why they are important as they are some of the main characters of MLP:FIM/Gen 4 who saved the world a lot of times? Also why so much hate for mares who love mares? I thought they just came from Ponyville where acceptance for FF and MM relationships are supposed to be high. I’m kind of glad that they didn’t notice the hated that was sent their way as they are so much in love, or they just chose to ignore it.
11755661
I have no idea why I made this story so homophobic but I was pushing for them to create equality. The sequel and most of my future stories are more balanced.
As far as why no pony knows them, even in the show they're just over looked as heroes.
I'm looking forward to reading all of your stories as you are a great writer. I also hope AJ and Rainbow Dash get the respect they deserve.