Infinite Horizons

by Zervziel

Chapter 3: By Chaotic Dreams

Chapter 3

Rainbow Dash was lost in her thoughts, so deep in a labyrinth of metal-laced neurons that she was afraid somepony would have to send a search party to bring her back out into the real world. Were her thoughts even real anymore? If she was now part machine, then did that mean her very mind had become nothing more than a collection of preprogrammed crackles of electricity? Had her free will died with most of the organs she was born with, leaving room for Discord to install a bionic brain that did whatever the Order of Destiny wanted without Rainbow having any real input? The worst part about it all was realizing that even if that was all true, they probably would’ve programmed the new components of her brain so that she couldn’t tell whether she made the decisions on her own or not.

“Maybe I could ask Twilight,” Rainbow thought to herself. “But what if she would just be lying to me to cover up the Order’s messing with my mind? No, she wouldn’t do that! You have to trust your friends, Rainbow! But… but what if that last thought was just implanted by the Order?! I know it’s for a good cause and I would’ve died otherwise, but is it worth it to be alive if I don’t even know if I have free will? Wow, Pinkie Pie, you really made me wary to trust anypony…even my own thoughts.”

Rainbow couldn’t help but mill over these musings as the Paladins took the next teleporter up to Training Hall 3 on Level 42. She could only imagine what Scootaloo must be going through. It sounded about the same as what she herself had nearly died from, only the littler pegasus had been forced to experience it all as a helpless filly.

“Well, best not to think about it right now,” Rainbow sighed inwardly. “You can’t give up hope, Rainbow. I’m sure you’ll find out whether you’re a real pony or just a machine soon enough. I hope.”

But whether she was truly amazed at the sight she beheld next or just programmed to simulate amazement, the view of Training Hall 3 was truly breathtaking. The reason for this was that there was absolutely nothing to behold at all. Nothing stretched out before the Paladins as far as they eye could see, not even ending at the nonexistent horizon where the absence of sky met the absence of ground. It was all just…space. Empty space. Not light, not dark, just pure nothingness. Because of this, what the Paladins were standing on was anypony’s guess.

“Welcome to the Training Sector!” Twilight announced cheerily, cutting into the bemused blue pegasus’ thoughts. “We’ll be spending a lot of time up here between missions. As a good leader should say—”

“You can never be too prepared for a mission, no matter how experienced you are in the field.”

“Lady Shard!” Twilight exclaimed, jumping in surprise at the voice of the alicorn. But…where was she? The group looked nervously around, but there was nothing but nothing to look at. If Lady Shard were indeed here, then where was she? It wasn’t like this place offered very many hiding spots. “Where are you?”

“Have you forgotten your own first training session already?” Lady Shard’s voice laughed from the nothingness. “This is Tenebris Ultra, remember? The cradle of creation. As long as we are where reality exists, she is everywhere as am I in a sense. When she deems it necessary."

An explosion in front of the Paladins made the group flinch back in shock, trying to get away from the curling shadows and fading darkness that had just burst into being. Out of this bloom of black stepped Lady Shard herself, an unfathomable smile on her face.

“Okay, so if Miss Shard is here and Tenebris Ultra is here because we’re IN Tenebris Ultra, then where’s Lucy Ultra?” Scootaloo wondered aloud. “And for that matter, where’s Discord? Wasn’t he right behind us in the teleporter?”

“It’s ‘Lady’ Shard and ‘Lucem’ Ultra,” the dark alicorn corrected. “And Discord is standing right behind you, about to scare you.”

“What?!” Scootaloo gasped, whirling around to come face to face with the wily draconequus.

“BOO!” Discord yelled, causing Scootaloo to skyrocket into the nothingness with a shriek. “Haha! That never gets old. But please, Lady Shard, don’t alert them to it next time. That almost spoiled the fun!”

“I shall keep that in mind,” Lady Shard in a dry tone, “But as for Lucem Ultra, she has decided to send a representative of her own. I beg you not to take this lightly, as in all my years in the Order, The Other Side has only deemed it necessary to send The Sliver a single time. That time was the darkest day the Order had ever seen, so I hope you appreciate the gravity of what The Sliver’s presence means.”

“You mean… something really bad is going to happen?” Rainbow gulped. “And excuse me if I don’t understand, but what’s The Other Side? And The Sliver?”

“Only if we do not stop it,” the Shard soothed threateningly. “And your ignorance is forgiven due to your inexperience with the Order. The Other Side is, well… it is hard to explain, even for me. Think of it like this: The Other Side is what exists beyond the boundaries of known reality. Farther than the farthest universe in the multiverse, The Other Side awaits. You will know The Other Side by the name Lucem Ultra. And, as I am the avatar of Tenebris Ultra, The Sliver is the avatar of Lucem Ultra.”

“That I am, daughter of my mother’s sister,” spoke a voice that was the exact opposite of Lady Shard’s voice in every way. “Greetings to you all, for what is hopefully the first and last time. I am Lady Sliver.”

There was a flash of light, out of which stepped an alicorn that might have been how Lady Shard would appear in negative. But as opposed to Lady Shard, who wore nothing, this golden flame of burning light was encased in silver armor. There were vast splashes of red upon the armor, making Rainbow and Scootaloo shiver for a moment before they realized that it couldn’t possibly be blood…could it? After all, surely an immortal… thing… like Lady Sliver could simply will her armor free of any blood she might encounter in brawls with her enemies? But then, who were her enemies? What lay beyond the boundaries of reality that she had to fight?

“In answer to your unspoken questions, yes, this is blood,” the Sliver smiled. The words came without her mouth moving, as if they shoved themselves directly into the Paladins’ brains. “But rest assured, the battle from which it was shed happened many lifetimes ago. I could will it away, but what would be the point in having won a battle if I had no trophies to show off after having won it?”

This caused Rainbow and Scootaloo to actually shiver, backing away nervously from the newcomer.

“Wow,” Twilight breathed. “To think that it still looks so fresh after the lifetimes of entire ponies have gone by. That must be powerful magic indeed.”

“Oh, it was the lifetimes of universes, my little pony,” Lady Sliver intoned as her darker counterpart rolled her eyes. “And neither magic nor technology were involved in the preservation of my spoils of war. I could explain to you what was involved, but it would regrettably make your head explode. Your mortal minds are not equipped to deal with any knowledge originating from beyond the precious playpen you call reality.”

Twilight nervously backed away herself at hearing this. For the first time in her life, she actually hoped she didn’t learn more about something.

“That’s great and all, really,” Discord sighed. The Paladins almost jumped out of their skins at such a disrespectful manner in the presence of ponies as powerful and important as the two Ladies. But when you thought about it, unimaginable horrors from beyond kind of was his territory. A few even wondered if Discord already did have knowledge of The Other Side. It would explain why he was so insane, his immortality keeping him alive and forcing him to live with that maddening information.

“But why don’t we get to the point? Why are you here and why are we here? I understand the presence of myself and Celestia, being chief Welcoming and Medical Officers, but what about the rest? Surely there are more worthy Order operatives than the relatively inexperienced Paladins needed for whatever you and Lady Shard had in mind?”

“Surely there aren’t,” The Sliver chuckled. “You must learn, young child of chaos, that if my cousin and I think certain ponies are best suited to the job then it is wise not to question us.”

Did she just call Discord, a being eons old, young?! Just how old was this alicorn that she talked of the lifetimes of universes as if they were nothing? And how old did that by extension make Lady Shard?

“We get it,” Discord yawned. “You’re a gazillion years old. But what is happening in Tenebris Ultra that demands outside help?”

“We shall get to that momentarily,” Lady Shard answered for her cousin. “But first, a demonstration is in order.”

“I thought you already knew these ponies were right for the job?” Discord chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “Now you want to test them to prove whether or not they are worthy?”

“Yes and no.” Shard smiled. “My cousin and I do indeed know these ponies are perfect for the job ahead, which we will explain right after the first test. But we want to test them to prove to YOU that they are worthy. If you are to be the chief Medical Officer for the numerous injuries they will surely face in the field once their mission has begun, then you must understand what you’re dealing with. You must learn why we chose them. You must understand why you should fear them.”

“Fear them?!” Discord burst out laughing. “They’re just ordinary ponies!”

“Precisely.” Lady Shard favored the draconequus with an insufferable smirk. “They are ordinary ponies the same way humans are ordinary members of their own species. And we veteran Order operatives all know how well your first encounter with Admiral Sharpshot went, don’t we, Discord?”

“I thought you promised never to mention that!” Discord gasped. “It was my first time seeing a human! I underestimated them, I admit it, but that doesn’t mean he won that battle!”

“If I remember correctly,” Lady Shard recalled. “We had to regenerate you from a single subatomic particle, the only iota of you that the Admiral missed.”

“What?!” Rainbow Dash nearly choked. “From a single subatomic whatsit?! Who are these who-mans?!”

“You’ll find out soon enough, if you stick with the Order long enough and survive long enough,” The Shard answered. “Just be grateful that most of them are on our side.”
If the Order had operatives like that, who could singlehandedly almost destroy somepony as powerful as Discord, then what in (the) Equestria(s) was the Order facing that was so deadly?! Aside from the Red Queen.

“Alright, Paladins, are you ready?” Lady Shard inquired, turning to the group of ponies who had so far been watching the conversation bounce between immortals like a three-way tennis match. “Your test begins now.”

“But… what is our test?” Twilight asked. “And are the new recruits really up for a training simulation? They were just recently restored, after all.”

“I must agree with Twilight,” Celestia spoke up at last. “They are so young, and this is all so new to them. Are they really ready yet?”

“I think the better question is whether or not their opponent will survive to tell the tale of their first training exercise as a full team,” Lady Shard rebutted. “If I’m right about these six, then this shall make his encounter with Admiral Sharpshot a paper cut. That will give us just the slightest chance of beating the real enemy out in the field, which is all we can hope for right now.

“And your test is to defeat Discord.”

“What?!” the Paladins all exclaimed at once.

“What?!” Discord himself echoed, though he was laughing rather than looking horrified. “You want me to fight six defenseless ponies? I could take on Celestia and Luna in their prime with ease, and the closest thing these ponies have to that is an inexperienced alicorn whose only real power is making ponies love each other!”

“Don’t we get any weapons or equipment, ma’am?” Braeburn asked. “Ah mean, we usually get at least virtual tools in a simulation. Maybe a copy of the Elements of Harmony would be helpful?”

“Nope,” Lady Shard said simply. “You will fight the draconequus without any outside help. Your test begins now. Good luck!”
Discord and the Paladins stood there, dumbfounded, as the Ladies stepped back and sat down to watch the show.

“Ugh…” Lady Shard sighed after a moment of the two parties staring at each other and the Ladies in confusion, not able to believe this was really their test. “If you don’t begin fighting it out right this instant, you’ll all be thrown in the brig for the next ten millennia!”

Instantly Discord disappeared in a flash of white light. In his place was a statue of the draconequus made entirely of lit dynamite.

“Get back!” Rainbow shouted, and the Paladins obeyed. Braeburn and Slate took off at a thundering gallop whilst Twilight teleported out of sight. Cadance, Scootaloo, and Rainbow herself took to the air and skyrocketed as high as they could before the bombs finally went off in a tremendous roar of flame.

“This is nuts!” Rainbow blurted, dodging flying flaming debris alongside her fellow fliers. “How are we supposed to defeat Discord without The Elements of Harmony?!”

“Maybe he installed something inside you that will help us?” Cadance wondered, her mind springing into action and filling with all kinds of attack strategies. She’d taken on multiple Discords in multiple universes, but had never bested any version of the draconequus with such scant resources. “If Lady Shard and her… cousin… think we can do this, then there must be a way we can win!”

“That would be great,” Rainbow remarked sarcastically. “If I knew how to work something like that! What am I supposed to say? Bionic super cannon go?”

To the surprise of each airborne pony, Rainbow’s right foreleg suddenly began to open up and compartmentalize.

“What the—what’s happening to me?!” Rainbow cried out. “Make it stop!”

“Firing Bionic Super Cannon in three… two… one…” spoke a robotic voice that seemed to emanate from inside Rainbow Dash herself, though her lips weren’t moving. The exposed metal components of Rainbow’s foreleg began to glow, the air around them shimmering.

“Hey ladies!” Discord’s voice cut into Rainbow’s distress. “What’s up? Besides you three, of course, since we’re in the air. Not for long, mind you, because I’m about to whack you all to the ground with this giant mallet. Nothing personal, you understand, but the brig is NOT a fun place!”

With a flash an immense hammer appeared in the draconequus’ hands and he raised it high over his head.

“ZERO!”

Rainbow had turned around in the air at Discord’s appearance, so her foreleg was facing the king of chaos when it fired.

A blast of concentrated raw energy shot out of the metal within Dash’s foreleg like greased lightning, and for all the ponies knew that’s exactly what it might have been. The bolt struck Discord square in the chest and sent him flying backwards. The draconequus lost altitude and slammed into the invisible floor, his mallet smashing into him just a second behind and crushing the chimaera beneath.

The three flying ponies stared at the blasted Discord for a few moments in shocked disbelief.

“That was AWESOME!!” Rainbow exclaimed, eyeing the new addition to her foreleg with approval.

“Awesome?!” Scootaloo laughed. “That was super-cool-mega-ultra-what-the-buck-tacular!”
The two pegasi went in for a brohoof, before Scootaloo remembered just who she’d be touching and yanked her foreleg back.

“Uh, I mean… uh… nice shot, Rainbow,” Scootaloo mumbled before moving to the other side of Cadance, leaving the blue pegasus with a sorrowful expression. Would Scootaloo’s warped perception of her ever heal? The blue pegasus hoped so. Seeing that look of utter horror in the filly’s eyes and then realizing it was her that Scootaloo was afraid of felt absolutely terrible. “Do you think he’s down for the count?”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Cadance observed. “I’ve fought several Discords, and they never give up or go down that easily. I think this fight is just beginning.”

“What are you talking about?” Rainbow chuckled. “I blasted that bag of horseapples right out of the sky! Then again, I guess I should thank him for fixing me up and making me so cool in the first place. If it wasn’t for him, I’d be dead and without this awesome cannon!”

“I wouldn’t feel too gracious towards Discord,” Cadance warned.

“I hate to admit it,” Scootaloo noted. “But I don’t see how even Discord could keep on going after a blast like that. I mean, just look at him—What the?! Where’d he go?!”

This last remark had come about from the orange pegasus waving a hoof at the crumpled remains of the draconequus, expecting to see the result of what would have been a very surprising victory. However, all three fliers only saw that both the mallet and the body seemingly crushed beneath it were now nowhere to be seen.

“I warned you,” Cadance sighed. “Now hurry, let’s find the others before—”

“I do this!” a none-too-worse-for-wear Discord announced, appearing with a flash and knocking the pegasi and alicorn from the sky with his undamaged mallet. “Have a nice trip, see you next fall!”

“That doesn’t even make sense in this context!” Rainbow thought to herself bitterly through the throbbing pain making her lose consciousness as the nonexistent ground rushed up to meet her and fully knock her out.

“Now for the others,” Discord mused to himself, surveying his quick work of the three ponies below. “I must admit I had completely forgotten about the weapons I installed in Rainbow, but it’s not like I’m going to build something that I don’t know how to stop!”

The draconequus smiled with a mixture of satisfaction at his victory and a bit of sorrow at having to have won at the expense of ponies who were, in general, on the same side as he was. They were all Order of Destiny operatives, after all. Oh, well. They’d get over it with a quick trip to the infirmary, no serious harm done except a mild bruising of pride on their part.

Now where were the others?

“Looking for us, Discord?” Twilight’s voice cut into the draconequus’ thoughts. He whirled around, his mallet raised to smash, only to find—
Nothing.

“Over here, slowpoke!” Twilight called out again, from a different angle this time. Where were the unicorn and those two earth ponies? They couldn’t be hiding in this nothingness. Discord flew over to where he thought the voice was coming from, but of course couldn’t see anything but more nothingness.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” the draconequus muttered with a mild hint of annoyance. Defeating these ponies should’ve been relatively straight forward from the get-go. He still had no doubt he’d best them easily in no time, but the fact that his victory hadn’t been instantaneous was beginning to bug the chaos king.

“Good, he’s distracted!” whispered Twilight to Braeburn and Slate, far enough away from the draconequus that he wouldn’t hear them. The moment Discord had focused his attention on the three airborne ponies, Twilight had cast an invisibility spell on the three earthbound Paladins. It was hard work maintaining multiple spells at once, but the lavender unicorn had managed to cast an additional sound-illusion spell that would lead the draconequus on a wild goose chase. “Let’s go!”

While the chaos king was off chasing illusory echoes, the remaining Paladins trotted as quietly as they could over to the unconscious forms of their friends.

“Cadance!” Twilight hissed quietly into the pink alicorn’s ear. “Cadance! You have to wake up! We have to come up with a plan if we’re going to stop Discord, and we’re going to need all the Paladins to execute it!”

“Yeah, what Twilight said!” Braeburn whispered to Rainbow Dash as he gently prodded her with his hoof. Slate attempted to wake Scootaloo in a similar manner, careful not to use his full strength on the young filly. “We need all the help we can get!”

“Twilight?” moaned Cadance at last. “What… what happened?”

“Sshh!” Twilight commanded. “We have to stay quiet! We can’t let Discord hear us!”
The lavender unicorn glanced over at the draconequus, who was still distantly flying in circles chasing after Twilight’s mocking echo. As the pink alicorn awakened, Twilight pulled her into the invisibility spell as well. The same happened to Scootaloo when Slate finally managed to wake her, but for the life of them the Paladins couldn’t seem to wake Rainbow Dash.

“Come on missy, wake up!” Braeburn pleaded.

“Bionic capacity currently at 38%,” replied the same robotic voice that had announced Rainbow’s cannon, emanating from within her despite her lips remaining motionless. “Loading…”

“What the—” Discord said to himself, hearing and recognizing the robotic voice he himself had installed in the cyan pegasus. “Wait a minute…”

“Run!” Twilight commanded, and the conscious Paladins fled from Rainbow’s crash site under the cover of their invisibility. They galloped right under the flying draconequus, who landed next to the still knocked-out pegasus.

“I could have sworn I heard voices over here…” Discord mused to himself. “Where are the princess and the little pegasus? I’ve been tricked? Haha! I love it! Congratulations, ponies! I know you can hear me, and I’ve figured out your little game. You’re invisible! Well done; I haven’t been tricked in millennia. It’s good to have a dose of my own medicine now and again. If I can’t take it then I can’t dish it out. But enough of that. Now, our little game ends. I need to get back and make Oscar hasn't trashed my ER too badly.”

“Who?” Cadance wondered quietly, rubbing her aching head.

“Never mind that,” Twilight said. “How are we going to defeat Discord? And without Rainbow?”

“Alright, I give up,” Discord announced from his spot near the still unconscious pegasus. “Not at our battle, mind you, but at trying to find you invisible ponies. So how about this? I’m going to bake a cake, and we all know a key ingredient in baking is FLOUR!”

Suddenly hundreds of giant bags of flour appeared high over the training room. Just as quickly they upended and poured out everywhere, dousing the invisible ponies in fine white powder.

“There you are!” Discord exclaimed as the flour settled on the Paladins. He swooped towards them, mallet appearing in hand.

Twilight’s mind was racing. What could she do? She had less than 3.56 seconds to formulate a plan before the draconequus smashed them all into a painful slumber just like Rainbow. But how could she stop a nigh-unstoppable force such as Discord? Chaos was, as much as she hated to admit it, a constant in the multiverse. There was no way to end it, so the idea that the Paladins could stop one of chaos’ own without any of the Order’s usual preparations was absurd. What were the Ladies thinking?!

“That’s it!” Twilight gasped in realization. “Okay, I apologize in advance for this—you’ll all probably have nightmares for weeks after we’re done—but I know how to defeat Discord!”

“More nightmares?” Scootaloo gulped.

“Let’s do it, then!” Braeburn whinnied.

“Agreed!” Cadance asserted.

“Ready,” Slate affirmed.

“Then we’re going in!” Twilight smiled determinedly. Her horn flashed, the Paladins disappeared, and Discord’s mallet smashed down on nothing.

“What the…” Discord wondered. “Where did they… oh, no. No! NO!”

. . .

Scootaloo had to admit that there was more than a grain of truth to Twilight’s warning about having nightmares after this ordeal. Or rather, it was more than a grain. Far more. More like a heaping pile of truth, or enough truth to cover a planet. Buck that, it was enough to fill up a whole UNIVERSE!

“What is this place?!” Scootaloo cried out into the… whatever she was in. She tried to shut her eyes and curl into a defensive ball, but realized with utter horror that she couldn’t feel her body at all!

She was there, experiencing everything that happened around her, but none of it was experienced in anything remotely resembling a traditional sensory perception. The smell of the color green rubbed up against the young filly’s absent spinal cord, playing the musical equivalent of a taco’s worst nightmare on a tuba made from her deepest fears. She tried to scream, but all that came out of the mouth she didn’t have was a flaming winter wonderland made of ice cream that splashed her in the face with the essence of dandelions growing out of a fat diamond dog’s belly button.
What the buck was this place?!

“Scootaloo!”

The call rang out crisp and clear, the first real normalcy the orange pegasus had noticed upon arriving wherever she now was. But where was it coming from? The direction of the zombies having a tea party, or overhead where the subatomic gasmasks dug through the ground?

Then she saw it. The lavender bubble of reality parted the curtains of the insane, sweeping the young filly into its warm embrace of mundaneness. Scootaloo slumped on the bottom of the bubble, shivering with her eyes wide open. All at once, she had been thrust back into her body. No more ghostly illusions of things so horrible she couldn’t even describe them, even though that world was still only a hair’s breadth away beyond the comforting shield of the magical bubble.

“Whoa, missy!” Braeburn said with alarm, and all at once Scootaloo realized that she was not alone in the bubble. “You alright? When you got separated from us back there, we was afraid we might never find you again! Good thing we did!”

“Indeed,” Slate murmured. “I would not wish the horrors of this place upon my worst enemy.”

“You’re safe now, dear,” Cadance soothed. “Nothing can hurt you here.”

“Is she stabilizing?” Twilight inquired, her horn glowing and radiating out into the bubble. She must have been keeping the bubble itself stable. She’s also the one who must have… brought them here…

“I’ll kill you,” the orange filly whispered. “I’LL KILL YOU!!”

Scootaloo leapt up and went for the lavender unicorn’s throat.

Instantly her forward momentum was halted by the azure glow of Cadance’s magic, leaving her thrashing in the air.

“Let me go!” Scootaloo demanded. “She brought us here! This is all her fault!”

“She’s also the only one who knows how to get us back out,” Slate pointed out. “And the only one who knows the spell to keep what’s outside from reaching us here in the safety of the force field.”
Scootaloo stopped struggling immediately.

“And she only brought us here so we could stop Discord,” Cadance explained. “He can’t harm us here, but we can put a stop to him and finally be done with this irritating test.”

“I’d take that monster over this place any day,” Scootaloo spat. “Not even he was this messed up!”

“Actually he was and is.” Twilight smiled. “Everything you see around you IS Discord. We’re in his mind.”

“We’re WHAT?!” Scootaloo gasped. “That’s even worse! If he can bend reality outside his mind, then how much worse will things be inside his mind, where there isn’t any reality in the first place?!”

“He can’t harm us if we’re inside his own subconscious,” Cadance went on. “If we were in the conscious parts of his mind, then yes, he could do anything he wanted to us. But even he can’t control his subconscious. And, if we mess around with his mind a little, then he’ll be incapacitated and we’ll have defeated him.”

“But… doesn’t the Order of Destiny need Discord for medical stuff?” the orange filly wondered, now quite scared for an entirely different reason.

“There are several Discords, as well as other beings, in the medical department here at the Order,” Twilight told her. “This Discord is just the chief physician. But after a quick memory wipe of the events of the test at the hooves of the other medical officers, he’ll be fine. He’ll probably even be impressed that we figured out how to defeat him.”

“So this is Discord’s mind,” Scootaloo thought to herself as she looked back out the bubble at the eyesore beyond the purple sheen. The heart of chaos, the unbridled imagination of the embodiment of madness. And she was trapped inside it.

However, the other Paladins had become convinced that with a little tweaking the team could put a stop to the draconequus, at least long enough to be considered the victors of this little test. Well, as long as she didn’t have to go out THERE again, then Scootaloo was willing to give it a shot. Just… how exactly did one mess up a mind that was already clearly messed up in every way possible?

“There it is!” Twilight exclaimed, cutting into Scootaloo’s thoughts. The orange pegasus peered through the chaos of Discord’s mind to see a large, dark, spherical shape looming up ahead. “The mental relay system!”

“The what now?” Braeburn asked.

“This is where all of Discord’s thoughts are translated into muscular impulses that allow his brain to control his body,” Twilight explained. “And all we’ve got to do is turn the power down so that all he can control is the bare minimum. He’ll be in a state similar to sleep, only completely devoid of all consciousness until his memory’s wiped.”

“Great,” Slate commented dryly. “But just how exactly do we go about doing that? That thing is out there, and young miss Scootaloo has already demonstrated what happens to a pony who ventures unprotected into the mind of the chaos king.”

“Actually, I was hoping that Scootaloo would want to do the honors of disarming Discord,” Twilight admitted.

“WHAT?!” the orange filly blurted. “I’m not going out there ever again!”

“You won’t be unprotected,” the lavender unicorn promised. “Cadance, could you copy my spell and set up a magical suit over Scootaloo?”

“Sure thing!” Cadance affirmed, her horn glowing and wrapping the protesting pony in soft blue light.
“NO!” Scootaloo demanded. “I will NOT be going out there again! Besides, if you only want me to do it, why’d you bring everypony else along for the ride?!”

“In answer to your second question, Discord would’ve incapacitated us if we were all left outside. In here, we’re relatively safe. In answer to your second question, this magical suit will make you just as safe as if you were in the bubble with us,” Twilight insisted. “Just think of it like this: you can’t be hurt when you’re in the magic, but you can hurt the insanity outside the magic just by bucking the horseapples out of that part of Discord’s mind over there.”

“Yeah!” Braeburn agreed, not really understanding what was going on but trusting the two magical ponies onboard. The earth pony raised a hoof to clap Scootaloo reassuringly on the back, but to his surprise his hoof clapped nothing but air. “Wait, where’d she go?”

“She’s already outside,” Slate noticed, an uncharacteristic hint of genuine surprise in his voice. “And she’s making me rethink the meaning of the term ‘buck the horseapples out of something.’”

“Huh?” Braeburn wondered, turning to look outside to see just what Slate meant. And oh, was he right. Nothing could be seen of Scootaloo outside the bubble but an orange and blue dash of speed. This blur stopped only to buck the dark sphere for seconds at a time before zooming on to a new spot, leaving obliterated chunks of the mental substance in her wake.

The effect was instantaneous.

The chaos of Discord’s mind was slowing down. The leafy green igloos built out of the color of the smell of sarsaparilla were freezing in place, their flames flickering to a low super nova’s intensity. All of the other reindeer were finally stopping to think about how they would feel if Rudolph didn’t let them play in any reindeer games.

And, just like that, out in the nothingness of the Training Room back in reality, Discord’s eyes glazed over as he fell forward and toppled to the ground.
The Paladins had won, and Discord was going to spend the next several months in therapy. He would forever remember this day as the first and only time he had and ever would experience what it felt like to be sane.
And it was awful.

. . .

At least, that’s what Discord WANTED the Paladins to think.

With a flash, the team minus Rainbow appeared outside the sleeping form of the draconequus.

“We did it!” Twilight cheered, eyeing the unconscious Discord with a sense of triumph. “All thanks to you, Scootaloo!”

“Although I hate to admit it,” Scootaloo sighed. “I couldn’t have done it unless you brought me into that horrible place. If that was Discord’s subconscious, then I’d hate to see what his conscious mind is like.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” spoke the last voice any of the team had expected to hear. It was sly, and full of barely-controlled laughter. “You’ll get to see my conscious mind soon enough.”

“Discord?!” Cadance gasped, whirling around with the other Paladins. The draconequus was lazily floating in the air, his mallet hovering over the heads of the ponies and threatening to smack down at any instant. “How are you awake?! We shut off your mind!”

“You shut off ONE of my minds,” Discord laughed. “Did you really think an immortal embodiment of chaos would only be able to think on one plane of existence? I have over twenty-four zillion minds functioning on this layer of reality alone!”

“But—” Braeburn tried to stammer.

“No buts!” Discord chuckled. “Unless they’re mine, shaking triumphantly in your unconscious faces as I do my victory dance after you’ve all had a nice heart-to-harm with my hammer!”

“NO!” Scootaloo shouted as the hammer came smashing down.

With a smack, the mallet crashed on the heads of the wakeful Paladins, who didn’t remain wakeful for much longer after that. After checking to make sure each one was truly knocked out, Discord did indeed indulge in a little victory dance. His groove thing had never shaken quite as much as it did that day.

“And there you have it!” Discord announced proudly, turning to face the two Ladies. “I came, I saw, I kicked flank. Now, if you don’t mind, I think I hear a certain mess hall calling my name…”

“Not yet,” Lady Shard corrected, pointing a hoof. Discord turned to see what she could possibly be pointing at that was of any interest to him after his certain victory. What he saw only made him chuckle slightly.

“Bionic capacity at 100%,” announced an all-too-familiar robotic voice. “Loading complete!”

“Oh, my head!” Rainbow Dash moaned, sitting up groggily. “What happened?”

The cyan pegasus gasped when she saw her fellow Paladins knocked unconscious a few yards away, just as she had been. She then saw Discord, mallet in claw, smiling surreptitiously as he hovered over them.

“Don’t worry Rainbow Dash,” the draconequus told her. “You’ll be rejoining your friends in la-la land shortly.”

“I’m not going down without a fight!” the pegasus snarled, realizing with hidden worry how slim her odds were without any support. All she had left without her teammates was her determination and whatever other crazy contraptions Discord had installed inside her.

“My dear Rainbow Dash,” Discord said slyly. “I wouldn’t have it any other way!”
With that, the two sprang forward. One, the chaos king, wielding an oversized mallet and an arsenal of magic powerful enough to tear reality asunder. The other, an all-too-mortal pegasus pony wielding a will to never give up.

“This shouldn’t take long,” Discord thought to himself with one of his many, many minds.

. . .

Comments

[Salacar]

Brilliant

[Firedon]

hmmmm, now what will Dashie have in store...

[Phoenix Quill]

cooooool!

[Mayuhito]

Like the direction this is going. Didn't expect them to be fighting so soon, but then again it makes good training. Looking forward to the next chapter.Go Rainbow Dash Go!

[Reader Wolf]

The Paladins had won, and Discord was going to spend the next several months in therapy. He would forever remember this day as the first and only time he had and ever would experience what it felt like to be sane.
And it was awful.
I cracked up!

[Professor Donger]

FUCKING MORE

[Lightning-Blaze]

Really good guys. Still wish I didn't have to pull out of it but I see it went well.

[GordonFreebrony]

Godsdamned Slivers. I hate those things.

At least I have a few cards that can counter them.

[ShadowLDrago]

What is this, sanity you speak of?

[erictheblue]

“That’s great and all, really,” Discord sighed. The Paladins almost jumped out of their skins at such a disrespectful manner in the presence of ponies as powerful and important as the two Ladies. But when you thought about it, unimaginable horrors from beyond kind of was his territory. A few even wondered if Discord already did have knowledge of The Other Side. It would explain why he was so insane, his immortality keeping him alive and forcing him to live with that maddening information.

this reminds me of a minor character in one of Michael Moorcock's "Elric saga" stories: a group of gods and demons gathered somewhere to discuss how to end the world...one human listened in. when they caught him, they put two curses on him: he could not tell anyone what he had heard, and he could not die! he became known as "the creature doomed to live".