It was around noon when Rainbow walked into the throne room. Her friends were already waiting, a little impatiently, for the colorful pegasus. "What's up?" She asked, knowing full well why they had serious looks.
"Traces of dark magic were found around the castle last night," Shining Armor answered, causing Rainbow to feign shock. "The guards followed the trail to a crack in the wall, we are currently trying to make it wider so we can investigate." The Guard Captain looked a little worried, but who could blame him? A pony thought long dead was really alive and in his home. "Maybe you three should go and looking around town, see if you can find any clues."
So the mares and baby dragon set off. "We should split up," Twilight stated, "Rainbow you take the Southern District, Pinkie the Western, Spike you take the Eastern, and I will take the Northern District." Spike saw a flaw in the plan, but didn't know whether he should speak up or not sense Twilight was the one giving he plan. Luckily for him Pinkie spoke up.
"What if we see the mystery pony? How do we get your attention? *GASP* I can give you each a mini party cannon! That way if one of us sees the mare we can blast her! She would be really confused and think we were throwing a party, but really we would be helping to arrest her!" She looked like she was about to continue when Rainbow put of hoof in her mouth.
"I don't think that will work Pinkie Pie. Just yell something, I'm sure the nearby guards will come running." The others saw the logic in this (which was weird sense it came from Rainbow Dash) and set off to search their respective districts.
Dash was lazily flying over the south end of the empire as she was instructed to. She didn't bother looking for clues, knowing the only ones she left were we magical essence. "I gotta remember how to not leave that behind," She thought aloud to herself. Her ear twitched as she heard laughter from a few blocks away. The blue mare landed silently on a rooftop and watched some foals play-fight.
They were pretending to fight King Sombra. "Stop you evil king! Or I will be forced to defeat you!" A white earth pony filly with a red mane yelled. She was speaking to a dark blue unicorn colt, his brown and black mane hanging down in his eyes slightly.
"Never!"
"This let's fight! Cm'on guys!" The little filly was now instructing two more foals to help her. One was a yellow pegasus filly with a blue mane and the other was a blue pegasus colt with a yellow mane. Dash would never admit it, but she had a soft spot for foals. She chuckled quietly to herself as the foals wrestled. It didn't take long for the unicorn to be pinned down by his friends. He gave up and they went running down the road to find something else to do.
After a couple laps around the Empire Rainbow Dash flew back to the castle. Her friends were disappointed to hear she didn't find anything. She started to wonder when she could tell them. Or if she could tell them without being arrested, or worse, killed.
Interesting concept, but my principle is to only read stories with at least a thousand words per chapter goodday
I really like this story, and where it's headed!
Really like this story, still wish the chapters were longer or you updated every few days.
Oh yeah, reminds me to update my own story. Urrgh, I'm writing too many at once. But man, you keep the tension up, huh? Too bad you don't write more than a couple of words per chapter. Not helping my excitement, you know?
Nothing wrong with a short chapter fic.
SS&E writes these huge fantasy stories with chapters that are barely more than 500 words each (on average)
Austreoh and the rest of 'em.
6464784 yeah i agree with you
as long as you will contnue we dont care
6466454 yeah
nice job
I want MOAR
more WPC (words/per/chapter) pwease?
This is so cool!!!!! I can't wait to see where it goes!
Next one?
MOAR!! If it's okay that is..
6464015 that's a terrible way to read stories we all love children books and those often have les than 500 words
6464015
I get that your comment is over a year old, and your views on the subject may have changed since you posted this, but I have a story that could change your mind on that. Raven, by SaintChoc is easily one of the most interesting and refreshing stories I have ever read, despite the fact that only one of its ten chapters is over one thousand words long. I consider the pacing of the story similar to one of my all time favorite games, Portal. Both Raven and Portal are very short, yet absolutely phenomenal in pacing. Both are long enough to tell the story and get you attached and involved in the story, but not so long that it feels like it is just trying to pick up some extra run time. Even with the short lengths, it satisfies you with the conclusion so well that you have almost nothing but good things to say about it.
Short stories can be sadly overlooked because of the lack of words, but a short story is a separate entity from a bad story, just as a long story isn't necessarily a good one.