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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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8994848
One of the best compliments I can receive as a writer is someone telling me that they want to read more, so thank you very much for reading the story and dropping your thoughts along the way. Reading your journey through the Crystal Wasteland has been entertaining as well as enlightening. Your comment about fatigue in the latter chapters is something I feared could happen to some readers and is something for me to consider in future works. While the other comments have not received replies, they have all been greatly appreciated. Again, thank you. :)
9001968
I think you're right that Symphony is determined and will work hard for what he wants. The problem, at least from my interpretation of him, is for the first time in his life he doesn't know what he wants. I think his goals tend to involve other ponies. Such as wanting to start a life with Lyra across the border. Without any kind of real goal, he's lost. Losing his faith in Cadence also damaged his moral compass. While he's not a monster by any means, he's questioning his sense of right and wrong in ways he never had before.
I tried to reflect that in a few ways in Coalesence. One is Symphony's uncertainty. He wants to still have a moral code, but he's uncertain as to how strict it should be. Another aspect is that Symphony's party is in flux throughout Coalesence. This is to create a sense of chaos that separates the Wasteland from the Crystal Wasteland, as well as to show Symphony's struggle of finding his place in the new world as it keeps shifting around him.
As for Carbine, I feel that Symphony wants to save him but has no clue as to how. He knows he needs friends to help him and is trying to get some, so he can try and save Carbine later. The problem is he has no idea where Carbine actually is (and just to clarify something, the group that took Carbine has yet to be introduced), but he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it.
As strange as it might sound, I appreciate the rant. It clearly comes from a place of passion, and I'm glad that you've enjoyed Crystal Hearts enough to be legitimately upset when the story is going downhill. It also helps me understand where some of the issues in the story are that I can hopefully address in the future. I hope what I've said has been able to smooth over some of the rougher patches of the story and hopefully the next few chapters will be a return to form.
Thank you for the feedback!
9002413
If the Carbine raiders haven't been shown yet (from the chapter that I have reached) do you have some plotholes, since I am certain that a yellow dot meant to be Carbine showed up in the "fun" store, and beside "She had saved my life at the Fun Store, killed the Carbine-raider before he could harm us", this, at least to me, indicate that we have meet them.
And its not weird at all that you appreciate the feedback, even if it was a bit blunt and ranty. Just wish that other writers had the same viewpoint on it. Had a guy flip his lip and delete my post over how I dared posting my nitpicks at the end of his chapter instead of sending them to him in privacy since I was pointing out his mistakes for all of his readers to see... Yea sorry if one dude sees that there are something wrong, are there a dozen others that see it as well, they are just too lazy to say anything.