One by one, the ponies crept into the library. Their eyes were stretched wide with fear, reflecting the cold moonlight that filtered through the window by their side. They crouched low with their bellies close to the ground, their gazes flickering from side to side as if they expected the shadows to leap at them.
The glimmer of moonlight illuminated their surroundings, turning them into glowing silver. Ahead of them, a light gray-colored stallion with yellow eyes and a gray-and-light brown beard, mane and tail was settled on the ground, emotionlessly gazing at them as they approached.
"Starswirl?" A young, pure white-colored mare with dark-to-light green mane and tail called, blinking her purple eyes.
"Step forward," ordered Starswirl The Bearded in a rasping voice.
The mare obediently took a few paces forward until she was standing in front of him. The stallion's haunches were low, his yellow eyes were troubled, and he looked completely defeated.
"Why are you here, now, Clover The Clever?" He asked with a hint of hopelessness in his voice.
"The elements, we need to–"
"They won't work," the stallion interrupted.
"What do you mean? I've-" and once again, she was interrupted by the older stallion.
"No, Clover. I told you–I tried. I tried activating them. I tried making them work, but my magic wasn't powerful enough – not like the king and queen's. And, who knows? Maybe their magic wouldn't have been good enough, too. They went to find the Great Darkness that's hunting us all, and never came back. So tell me, what hope do we have?"
"Are you saying all we can do is wait for the Great Darkness to kill all of us, one by one, without doing anything?" Asked a red-colored mare with battle-scarred muzzle and dark mane and tail, her yellow eyes glaring furiously.
"We don't have another choice," he replied hopelessly.
"I do!" She said stubbornly. "Fight!"
"We tried that before, and what happened? More victims without any progress."
Before Commander Hurricane could reply, Clover The Clever interrupted. "You're right, fighting won't help us, but magic will," she said firmly.
Starswirl The Bearded fixed his yellow gaze on her, and he had all of their desperation and sorrow in them as he asked, "how? I couldn't activate the elements; my magic wasn't enough. It's all my fault."
Clover blinked sympathetically at him. "No, it's not," she said reassuringly, giving him a shoulder rub. "We can fix this together, using the power of friendship."
He narrowed his eyes suspiciously and echoed, "friendship?"
"Yes. Remember when the three tribes were freezing to death? It was because of hate. Later on, when we became friends, a powerful feeling surged though me—made me feel like I can do anything; and so I did. I used the magic and saved us – the magic of friendship."
When she saw her mentor's ears perk up with interest sparkling in his eyes and the same expression of hunger for knowledge she continued her explanation. "I talked with the ponies that witnessed it—Commander Hurricane and the others—about it. You wanted to at least activate six gems, and we're six ponies. I asked them what they mostly liked about that event. Commander Hurricane said she liked the loyalty, Chancellor Puddinghead said she liked the laughter, Princess Platinum said she liked the generosity, Smart Cookie said she liked the honesty, Private Pansy said she liked kindness, and mine was magic. It could be possible that we can make the gems work, right?"
He gazed at her for a few moments before replying. "It could be," he said at last. "But I'm not sure if your power is enough."
"Already thought of that," she said with a determined grin. "We decided that we will choose the most loyal, humorous, and so on, ponies from each tribe and assemble in a week so I could try my spell."
"Alright, Clover The Clever. I'd like to see what you have."
7 days later…
Clover The Clever was standing in the middle of the forest beside the waterfall where the royal family used to live with Starswirl The Bearded and Princess Platinum by her side, a group of unicorns flanking them. A few minutes later, the green leaves rustled and a group of Pegasi glided toward them with Commander Hurricane on the lead, making a rough land in front of them, followed by the Earth Ponies on the opposite side, led by Chancellor Puddinghead.
"Are all the tribes here?" Clover The Clever asked, breaking the silence.
The three leaders nodded, and Clover stepped forward until she was in the middle. Flashing a glance at her mentor, she was hopefulness and encouragement glimmering in his eyes as he gazed at her, and she lost all of her hesitation. She had to do this.
"Alright," she started with a confident voice. "Most loyal ponies, step forward. Concentrate on times when you were truly loyal."
The leaders of each tribe motioned for a group of ponies to step forward, and they obediently did until they were in front of her. Clover could see the determination in their expressions – how they'll do everything to keep their land safe. They were truly loyal.
With a last stare at them, Clover closed her eyes and flattened her eyes, doing her best to consecrate on making the right process of the spell that would transform the power of these ponies' loyalty to the first ruby.
Her horn glowed powerfully at last, ruffling her dark-to-light green-colored mane. She shot the chosen ponies a strike that sent them trembling for a moment. A ball of light formed, and with the best of Clever's efforts, it was carried into the gem.
Opening her eyes again, she gazed at the ruby with expectant eyes. It was shining powerfully with the energy of the countless ponies who participated.
Flashing a glance at her mentor, she saw him gazing at the ruby with amazement, it's glitter reflecting in his widely-stretched eyes.
"Did it w-work?" That was Commander Hurricane, padding over to her, rubbing the back of her head with a dizzy expression crossed on her face.
"Yes, it did," she replied with a half-shaky voice. "We have the Element of Loyalty."
She did the same for the rest. Well… except for one amethyst. Clever poured all of her magic into the 6th element, adding the magic of friendship of everybody around her into it. Soon, all of the 6 elements were shining brightly, reflecting all of the energy the ponies gave them.
"We did it!" Clover The Clever exclaimed brightly after losing her dizziness and realizing what they did. "We activated the 6 elements!"
Wails of victory rose from the crowd, and they stomped their hooves on their ground, glaring with determination.
Clover and her friends picked up the elements, exchanging smiles with each other as Starswirl The Bearded approached. "You've done great, Clover," he started with a warm smile. "You've done what I couldn't have done. You deserve respect and admiration from us all," he finished, bowing to her, and was followed by the rest of the crowd, even her friends.
"Thanks, everypony," she said, her ears flattened with embarrassment with a faint blush appearing on her face. "I couldn't have done it without you.
"Now," she continued more confidently. "We can defeat the danger that's threatening Equestria."
5710940
You essentially cared to comment, hence you are the one who cares.
Good job on your logic.
Apparently you aren't, since you have zero stories in your own name. Maybe you should be the one to try.
Let me start by applying this bs to you.
First off, you have zero stories. How are you liable to even comment that?
Second: assuming is the worst thing one human being can do. If you assume that someone has no skill at a particular art form, then you are eliminating the possibility that they have the potential at the art form. This person at least is making an attempt to write and has the potential to do better as they progress as a writer. If anyone should be the one who has no skill at writing should be you, since, yet again, you have no proof of your writing ability.
Sir, you need to use what's called a question mark when you ask a question. Check your grammar when you call out someone for their grammar errors.
5710979
Go back to 4chan. That sounds like you belong there.
Not to mention that if he wasn't worth your time, you wouldn't have replied in the first place. Yet again, nice job on your logic there, SA Starla.
5711043 COMMENT DELETED
(was directed to the wrong person... sorry)
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5711043 I thought the troll was replying to me... shit now I feel embarrased
5711076
Making yourself look like an ass that lurks 4chan makes you look like a troll.
Also, since you like to correct grammar, I'll correct yours. Omit that damn comma. There's no need to pause there.
5711076 Disagreeing is one thing. You can do so politely. Being RUDE, and saying that is just commenting... thats a trollish act.
You chose to be rude.
5711081 Wanna build a snowmare?
5711107
It's okay. I don't count him as a “troll.” I wanted opinions, and I appreciate his honesty.
5711043
Anyone who can freely admit this has earned my respect. Will read and leave my thoughts sometime later when I'm more awake.
5711110 Heck yeah. Now, out of respect for the author, I'd recommend taking this argument somewhere else. We're just taking up comment space right now.
Anyway, I think you have potential as a writer, Ms. Sparkling. Keep practicing and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. That's the key to becoming a proficient writer.
Anywho, I'm out. Later people.
5711110 Will it help us take over the world?
In that case, let me join in!
5711123 You're an inexperienced writer... how do you get experience? BY WRITING. And the rude little twerk basically was saying that you should not write.
He was VERY rude saying that and was WRONG to say it.
He could have stated his displeasure in your story in a polite manner.
5711123
5711125 I am in complete agreement with Avox. Humble writers are the ones worth following and reading. I will also read this once time allows.
Also, everyone else, lets please end the rant. A story's comment section should be about the story, and not the place for an internet spat.
Cheers!
5711134 Negativity does not have to be rude.
Flat out telling a writer who is trying to get experience to "not write" is rude
5711146
It's okay, though! I learned that not everyone will like what you do, and that you'll just have to shake it off. I'm not going to quit learning to write just because he told me to.
5711114
Oh? I just logically took what you said and placed it onto you since you wanted to act childish. Let's see what you have to say though, since you're obviously backpedaling on your own opinions.
i467.photobucket.com/albums/rr31/XianL_photos/no_shit_sherlock.jpg
Let me give you an example:
Let's say your name is Bob. He's a nice guy. Bob decides to talk to an electrical engineer named Dillon. Dillon has had twenty years of experience in that field. Bob has no experience what so ever in the field, yet has only studied two years of the subject. You can have the knowledge of a certain subject, yes, but experience is actually getting your feet wet and understanding it firsthand. Anything that Bob says can be easily countered.
Now let's pull your replies in.
So since you have zero stories and this author has three, who here has more experience?
Well, the one with three stories has more experience since they have actually written something. You sound intelligent, so you have the option to write it, yet you don't. Why? I don't know, but all I see is someone who can't back up their own points by actually doing what others have already done: written a story. This puts your actual point of view in the toilet.
Henceforth, this is why you look like a douche.
Let me BOLD that for you.
You definitely implied it. If you're going to sound like this, then you definitely need to backup your beliefs with your own work. Otherwise, your views mean nil to the conversation.
This is called analyzing your words. Not hard to do. Maybe you should try that, it would do you wonders.
I'm mocking you here.
That's called being a critic. You can have an opinion, but the reviewer who has had experience with literature for several years knows what they're talking about. You weren't doing that. You were being rude.
Don't even start with me.
5711155
Thanks, but I will continue writing this story, even if I'm inexperienced. So… Lets end this drama, please? I only want comments about the story, not people fighting over a negative opinion.
5711187
No problem.
Nice work by the way. I'll be dropping my thumb up and taking it to a pm.
5711187 Ok, I have just read the chapter, and here are my thoughts.
It does have potential, but you could use some assistance. The helping hand of an editor, to catch the few grammatical errors I have seen. Pre/proofreaders would also be able to help with development of the story and fleshing it out.
It seems an interesting concept, your story. One good enough that I wish to see more.
5711252
I'd really appreciate that!
Thanks! ^.^
Upvote and favorite, because clearly there's a lot of effort into this. If you need help, hints or tips, note me. I'll gladly do what I can to help you turn this into a real gem. Follow because you deserve it.
5711286 As you can see from 5711348 's reply, there are quite a few of us who would be willing to help.
I suspect all you have to do is ask.
5711361 And the same for you. If you need some help, I'll gladly offer what support I can. I've been the newbie, and I've seen both sides of this equation. Even good ones like yourself bloom like a beautiful rose when others collaborate. I would just like to state due to your candor, you sir, are a gentleman. I wish more people on this site expressed their views and kindness in the way you have with this author.
5711393 lol, I aint new... but help is always appreciated
5711454 o.o; I never said you were new, I said you were GOOD! lol
5711468 sorry... exhaustion and hunger making it so I can't think right now...
I'll be eating in just under a half hour, so that should help.
And thank you
Nice story!